My coworker brought a shitty pie to work

Who the fuck cares? It is free pie. Eat it and be grateful.

Ummmmm, pie!

Betty Broderick would have known how to deal with that.

Free!!

Is Sarah Huckabee Sanders your co-worker?

OP, it's semi-homemade.

More work than I’d ever do for shitty co-workers

She might have just assembled store bought parts in your eyes OP, but you overlook the secret ingredient she did add... LOVE 🥰

I'm glad you specified it was apple pie. If it had been chocolate pie, I would have worried.

Is your coworker Sandra Lee?

Obviously what R1 said.

Innocently ask for her crust recipe.

R12: She admitted upfront that it was store bought crust.

You had me at pie, OP.

And what did you bring to work, OP? Besides your bad attitude?

I admire your capacity to endure such injustices, OP.

Sounds fine to me...is there a cocktail with it?

R15: My work ethic to get stuff done while these bitches were MMM and YUMing about this bad pie!

She should have made two one for eating and another to shove in OP's face.

His appetite and a fork R15.

OP - I suppose your pies are made with your own home grown flour, since you surely wouldn't stoop to buying flour from a store. Oh, and your eggs -- they come your hens, and you feed them corn that you planted and grew yourself. And the milk and butter is from your herd of cows that you keep in your backyard.

I can just see your fat little ass jostling and your little pig tail wiggling in excitement, making those grunting and squealing noises while waiting in line to get a piece of this frau's pie.

How very DARE she.

What a cunt!

R21=the coworker.

Yikes!

If Ginny in Billing was still alive, you wouldn't even get a chance to taste it, OP.

I had fraus at work make similar.

then there is the ubiquitous "poke cake " with Jello and Cool Whip.! Yuck

I had this wonderful boss once who was a true Southerner and she would make each of us a homemade cake of our choice on our birthday! Thanks Martha!

When GINNY in Billing attacks at R21!!!

R21: It was not even that great of a pie. It was too sweet. I had two bites to be polite then quietly threw the rest out into the trashbin.

Ewww. Y'all actually eat things that your co-workers make at home and bring to the office? Not me. I've seen co-workers who go to the bathroom and don't wash their hands. I can only imagine what they do at home.

Y’all better eat!

Just be grateful.

"My coworker brought a shitty pie to work"

You fired me, bitch; I didn't technically bring my chocolate pie to 'work'.

[quote]Pre-made apple pie filling.

Be grateful she didn't use that apple filling to "bake" a Kwanzaa cake

She didn't bake a pie then, she assembled one.

Truth be told, my mother would be far more disgusted than the OP. She'd go on about how "white trash" it was and she might as well have brought in an Entenmann's

Did it go in the oven? It's baked.

I’m with you, OP. I hate it when people bring food to share that tastes like shit.

So much work! A dump cake would have garnered the same plaudits for far less effort!

[quote] If Ginny in Billing was still alive,

Wait. Ginny in Billing died? She died?

Oh NO! I’ll have to take a sick day tomorrow, I’m too upset to work now.

[quote] If Ginny in Billing [bold]was[/bold] still alive,

Oh, [italic]dear.[/italic]

Video from the pie fest at OP's workplace

OP probably ate the whole pie himself.

The OP's co-workers

Store bought crusts are fine, in a pinch. But canned pie filling? She should have been terminated on the spot and escorted from the building by security.

It was three fucking years ago, meryl!!!

OP has had worse in his mouth!

Working at Dress Barn just isn't what it used to be, is it OP?

OP, if this was your biggest challenge today, well, bless your little heart.

Btw, your choice of words telegraphs “500lb DL-er pretending he actually has a job.

The honest truth? The three pies Mom made him today left him unsatisfied.

You should show her up, OP. Bake an apple pie from scratch and bring it to work tomorrow and then brag about your organic apples and imported Danish butter. That'll teach her!

What a lazy frau. Usually they go all out with their 1000 calorie baked goods.

R50, social media takes everyone's attention, so no time to bake.

[quote] these bitches were MMM and YUMing about this bad pie!

This is coded, passive aggressive language between fraus which actually means, "This pie tastes like shit. My pie is SO much better. Can you believe she brought this? Let's talk shit during break, Nancy."

You so obviously don't understand the intricate language of Frauspeak.

You're the bitchy effeminate gay man of the office that nobody likes, aren't you OP?

It sounds like an abomination. Apple pie is the easiest filling to make of any pie.

You should have dramatically spat it out, OP.

Just be thankful she didn't make it with Ritz crackers.

Canned apple pie has so many calories and preservatives.

I would eat it.

Well get a load of OP/Marta Stewart, here! Pardon ME while I rinse my pasta!

This sounds like the pie from The Help.

never eat frau food... never!

Any type of canned pie filling is horrible!

What's so bad about canned pie filling?

R49, it would not be sweet enough. Homemade pies are rarely sweet enough.

Pies should not be cloyingly sweet.

I can’t believe we’re all glossing over the fact that Ginny in Billing is dead. DEAD!

I’m so upset right now I’m literally shaking.

R21, how dare you? OP lays his own eggs!

Your colleague did something nice for everyone in your office. Be grateful, you scornful prick.

Making a crap pie isn't exactly philanthropy.

A frau wouldn't be at work, would she? A frau would be a full time housewife.

It could have been so much worse. She could have brought a shit pie, instead of a shitty pie.

"I can’t believe we’re all glossing over the fact that Ginny in Billing is dead. DEAD!"

We properly mourned Ginny's passing at the time it occurred, like 3 years ago, approximately the same time you last changed your tampon.

Wake up and smell the coffee, Toots.

I don't want to get fat. So, I don't want to be pressured into eating a slice of mediocre pie. Commercially-prepared crust with canned apple filling. That's not even semi-homemade.

Ugh I hate eating other people’s home cooked food. Work potlucks are so gross, I refuse. I can barely stand to eat the food my mother and mother in law cook when we visit our families. God I hate shitty cooking and shitty frau food. So fucking gross! Then they eagle eye you to make sure you eat it.

Well r74, don’t go to any more family gatherings.

R63, canned pie filling tends to taste too sweet and artificial.

I had nothing to do with it.

Since we’re now debating canned pie filling, I do occasionally enjoy a can of cherry pie filling, ladled over vanilla ice cream.

fuck no

R74 you sound like a faux pretentious wannabe with no manners.

R80 Good call.

[quote] Since we’re now debating canned pie filling, I do occasionally enjoy a can of cherry pie filling, ladled over vanilla ice cream.

You disgust me.

R82 Are you kidding? That canned cherry pie filling over vanilla ice cream sounds delightful! I want to eat a heaping bowlful of it while watching Jeopardy this evening. Screw you.

R82 disgusts me.

I can't believe I'm amongst trash who enjoy canned filling.

R85 Oh, you're amongst us baby! We surround you. Now I must adjourn to the kitchen sink and begin my afternoon feast of rotisserie chicken and cole slaw. Good day, sir.

I like that canned cherry pie filling as well. Never tried it on vanilla ice cream, but it sounds good. Comstock brand is what I remember.

I wish someone would bring me pie.

Shut up and eat it, OP. You'll be just as full as if you liked it.

R88 I'll bring you pie. Where do you live?

Everyone on this thread types fat.

R90–Why a knife? Do you expect me to share the pie?

R92 No, I don't expect anything. But I like to come prepared....

I think the cherry pie filling should be heated up and then drizzled over the vanilla ice cream. I'm generally not a canned pie filling fan, but that does sound tempting.

Give a frau canned pie filling and she will bake a pie for a day.

Teach a frau how to make pie filling from scratch amd she will bake apple pies for life.

Just to trigger the OP!!

The OP is right.

When I make a pie, I only use fruit I've grown from seeds that are generation after generation my own. I also grow the wheat to make the flower and I only use the milk from a second generation cow that I've owned after the original cow gave birth.

And I only use fuel to heat the stove that is grown on my property and the stove is built from metal I've personally mined on my lot.

And that is just the start. I agree with the OP, people are lazy

Ummm. Pie.

OP you should bring some McDonalds apple pies to work tomorrow and say that you baked them!

I would probably be depressed and bitter and fat, too, if I had to work in a place where colleagues bring pie to work to share.

How many disgusting fat pigs in this thread are there to side with the awful frau bringing canned pie? I’d never eat anything a co worker brings in. You will eat anything like a pig in a trough.

I'm shocked over Ginny in Billing's DEATH!

Has someone started a thread about this?

Ginny in Billing! DEAD! OMG. She's a DL icon. Just like Cheryl.

Maybe OP can bake a pie for her memorial service.

Where do we send flowers?

Ginny died from Toxic Shock Syndrome from not changing her tampon

How is the billing department going to survive without Ginny?

I mean, despite the two dozen other people there, Ginny WAS that department.

Twas the pie that killed Ginny.

R103 Ginny was far too old for tampons.

Apple pie for Ginny's memorial service, R102.

I’ll never work in an office again. I worked 2 years in an office with frau and it’s hell on earth. This was when I was about 23. Every week there was a birthday cake and everyone had to sign the birthday card unless you were Jehovah. Needless to say I was Jehovah when I quit.

Here's a thread honoring the memory of Ginny.

And here's a 2008 thread about an earlier collapse Ginny had.

R102, finally someone is as shocked as I am about Ginny.

I remember her collapse but I had no idea she

*whispers* passed on.

Oh settle down Marvel Ann -- Ginny passed years ago.

I'm sitting at Ginny's desk. I didn't know how popular she was here until lately. None of the girls mentioned her when I started. Now I'm learning about her in bits and pieces. Like the fact that she had to be hauled out of here on a double-wide stretcher. And that no one would sit at her desk; they said it was because of the smell, but I don't notice. There's so much more I can share. And I will. In the future.

You've got a shipment coming your way, OP!

Say what you will about Ginny, but man, she could handle her pie.

I once saw her take down an entire apple crumble while it was still piping hot.

I saw Ginny eat an entire Meat Lovers Pizza, a Veggie Stromboli, and a bottle of Tab in ten minutes.

R115 R116 No wonder I'm still finding crumbs in the drawers.

r116 Is that what killed her?

How does one make pie filling from scratch?

Stewed with sugar added?

R119 Slice some Jonathon apples, add nutmeg and cinnamon, some brown and white sugar. That's apple pie filling.

R119 I forgot to add: put it all in your crust and bake. There! You have an apple pie.

bump

"bump"

Every time I see this thread in the right-hand column I think of that scene from "The Help"

Frau-adjacent DLers seem to be having a field day with pie recipes though, so back to your swap meet

This is one of my favorite threads. I can't get enough!

Me neither.

Such a simplistic interpretation of this thread R125

I have been scrolling past this thread all week, but out of snowstorm-induced lethargy, gave it a look this afternoon. I’ve actually laughed out loud a few times. This is why I love DL. Also, now I want cherry pie filling over vanilla ice cream.

R128 I know! This is one of the funniest threads I've read today.

You know what I can’t get enough of?

Pie!

The utterly trivial bitchiness of the complaint cracked me up, and now the replies keep the laughs coming!

Follow the Ginny posts (I'll try to find one) -- those threads will keep you laughing....

Thanks, R132. I went through the whole thread and it was amazing.

R133 Glad you enjoyed. I'm going back to the 'old DL threads' link to find more.

"A frau wouldn't be at work, would she?"

There are cubefraus and cubefags.

Will next week’s thread be about a lasagna?

Thursday is National Pie Day, OP.

Expect another one!

[quote]I can’t believe we’re all glossing over the fact that Ginny in Billing is dead. DEAD!

Ginny would want you to try to move on with your life...

More importantly March, 14 is National Pi Day, beloved by Math teachers everywhere.

[quote]I can't believe I'm amongst trash who enjoy canned filling.

Well, you did have that margarine fountain at your last party.

"bump"

Because the others encouraged her, prepare for more 'home-baked pies' from your coworker.

More pie stories.

Miss OP, just make this and fix their little red wagons!

This will REALLY be a shitty pie!

I enjoyed this thread and the funny bits. But in all seriousness, I very much understand OPs gripe with his co-worker. Pre-made store-bought crusts, truly, are disgusting in comparison to homemade recipes. Some of you sound way too coastal, because no midwesterner would be caught dead serving a pie with a store-bought crust. Lord knows I am happy to have been brought up in fly-over country if the alternative is thinking store-bought crust is "fine." With that said, I actually love canned cherry pie filling for a quick topping on ice cream. But fuck me if I ever fill a goddamned pie with it!!! People really should be killed for something so heinous. Death to OP's coworker and her (I assume) fat children.

Agreed, R145

Well smell r145!

It's a great version of the song but the radio killed it.

^^¿Cómo?