Would you date a broke, unemployed man?

Bump

Yes.

the set up makes it obvious the guy is already a fuckbuddy, if he has already proved to be loyal, a good fuck, and in love. So yeah I would continue, based on your fantasy set up.

Yes.

How big is the cock?

As long as he’s not a slob

No policy is cash only, anal extra. But there is many way to BeBest. Please do poor man if that is your way.

It would depend on his health, criminal record and future employability. I would do a background check for any red flags.

As long as he is taking steps to improve his situation.

No. Poverty doesn't appeal to me.

Not just would, did. That was 20 years ago and we're still going strong. I make enough for both of us.

I did once. He was unemployed and still lived at home with his parents at 30. He was insecure and an emotional mess. He tried to act like selling junk on eBay was a job, but it barely made him anything. He was always the victim and never took responsibility for anything. On top of it all, he had a little dick and was lousy in bed. He’s probably still living at home in his forties in his sister’s pink bedroom play with his Barbie collection. Total loser.

Nope. Get a job and find some direction!

If you have no drive and ambition in life we aren't compatible. It's not about having money, it's about not being a lazy human being with no direction.

You cunts might want to use this as an opportunity to practice your capacity for empathy.

It's not all about your hole.

Empathy about what? Being an entitled, lazy drain on society? Unemployed losers need to buck up and get a job. It’s called adulting.

r16

Well, we know why you don't have a man. What an asshole.

No, if he's broke and unemployed, there's something wrong with him

r18

There's "something wrong" with you. There's something wrong with everyone. We all have our own flaws and issues. Stop being an asshole.

if he cooks and cleans the house, yes. Otherwise no. No free rides.

Yes, but many people aren't going to want to get serious with someone who has no work ethic and isn't responsible enough to hold down a job r19

That's a giant red flag. Get defensive all you want but its true.

R17 I’m married and neither of us are leeches. I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t work and doesn’t contribute to building our life together as an equal partnership.

I dated a broke guy for a while. He had suffered a life-changing trauma and was in the process of ditching his rat race/9-5 existence in favor of following his dream which wasn't producing much money. He was very well educated, very articulate, and had a great resume but he had no interest in leveraging those resources--he wanted to be an artist!

Ugh. OK, fine. But why was he making really, really stupid financial decisions like knowingly getting into a huge amount of debt? His overall manner when it came to money was really careless which annoyed the hell out of me. I am far from rich but I can pay my own way and I have some money saved for a rainy day.

The money issue certainly loomed over the relationship but it wasn't the sole reason why we broke up. The last I heard about him was that he was couch-surfing in his mid 40s. He's a great guy so I'm sure he found some other sucker to pay for his food and drink and entertainment.

I don't think that I'd willingly enter into a romantic relationship with a broke guy again. There's just too much that can go very, very wrong. And I'm too old for that shit.

Of course, if he was hot enough. We're men, not women. Money is only important if you plan to be dependent on your partner.

No “ambition” in a capitalist sense can be a positive trait. Someone who enjoys life and doesn’t take it too seriously can be a nice antidote to the stressful, money-focused world we live in.

Way to glamorize the life of playing video games and getting high all day r25

No. At first it might be ok, but after a while I would start to feel contempt toward him if he didn’t try to better his situation job-wise. Money, or lack thereof, is a major source of relationship issues. Why start in a position where you can almost guarantee those issues.

Yes, of course. As long as they were in the process of rectifying that situation. But eventually everyone has to do something to support themselves. That’s the way it goes. I wouldn’t give a shit if he was a waiter, garbage man, bagel counter guy, etc - as long as the other aspects were in place (physically my type, a degree of intelligence, has empathy).

But you gotta do something.

yes..already do. I work my husband does not.

Why do you ask, OP? Are you trying to find out if you're boyfriend material?

I must be Lois Loan.

Yep. Stuff can be worked out/figured out.

Love and connection is rare.

If the person was perfect in every other respect then sure...I can support two non extravagant lifestyles. I'm not sure such a thing is attainable though.

Depends on what he actually spends his time doing if not working, as well as where he gets his money to live.

Also, it depends on how long he's been in this situation and whether he actually has plans for his future or is aimlessly floating through life.

It's not necessarily the money, but the underlying mindset and attitude that matters more.

I've been on both sides of that equation, wholeheartedly: YES.

Verificatia?

Jesus christ this site is being overrun by needy straight women

Date? Yes. Be in a relationship with or let him live with me? No.

Dear OP, would you date a broke unemployed woman?

I've lived both sides of this equation and the short answer would be contingent not only on remaining dickmatized but also having connection of a next level variety.

But as Gwen Guthrie taught me all those years ago, Ain't Nothing Going On But The Rent.

[quote] Whoa is me, I’m broke and can’t afford stuff...”

Oh, DEAR!

^just say neigh.

r39

No, I'm a gay man. This is me. I've even posted a video of myself.

It’s the reason that after 20 years, I haven’t merged finances. I’m not looking for a stay at home wife/husband. And I’m not interested in being dependent on someone else,

Money is too complicated and an emotional minefield. It’s one of the problems with marriage. Emotional commitment is separate from financial and legal obligations. If he chooses to be unemployed, it’s not a fight because he still has to pay his bills. Though sometimes argue about risk of retirement - realizing lately that I’m more likely to die first so not worrying about it.

Way back in 1998 I had sex with a homeless, unemployed man. He was super hot. Blond, blue eyed, 6 feet, 165 lbs, big dick, about 8X5.5, so perfect. He was very sweet but I could not deal with his smelly clothes from staying wherever he slept, shelters maybe. We were both about the same age. I weighed being with him and decided against it. I could have "fixed" him, the way some losers like to fix their boyfriends, I could get him new clothes, clean him up, he'd get some self esteem then trade up lol. That is just the way the world works. You can never fix a homeless dude and expect them to stay when they are extremely hot.

R15 DLers holes have endless empathy. That's why many of them will give it to anyone who wants it.

It's very American to emphasize job and tittle over character. I see a lot of it here at DL.

In other nations, specially developing nations, people tend to care for what a person has to offer in character rather than his status as most are broke.

Then you wonder why so many of you go postal and shoot everyone in public places.

I'd rather glamorize playing video games and having fun over being a slave to a capitalist system whose only function is to keep a bunch of idiots as slaves to generate profit for 1% of the population.

Some people are just proud to be exploited I'll never understand that. My biggest adjustment to America as an immigrant is dealing with this idea job dignifies people, a motto written by nazis at the concentration camps.

You give way too much value to jobs and titles and little to people.

I'd rather glamorize playing video games and having fun over being a slave to a capitalist system whose only function is to keep a bunch of idiots as slaves to generate profit for 1% of the population.

Some people are just proud to be exploited I'll never understand that. My biggest adjustment to America as an immigrant is dealing with this idea job dignifies people, a motto written by nazis at the concentration camps.

You give way too much value to jobs and titles and little to people.

Assuming you are referring to yourself, OP, as the broke, unemployed man... What would you bring to a relationship? Aside from your dick, which I would hope you use well and are a top.

Are you well educated? Do you read widely? Are you conversant in current affairs?

Are you in therapy for your anxiety and depression? Are you on medication and is it working?

What does a typical day look like, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed?

[quote] What would you bring to a relationship? Aside from your dick, which I would hope you use well and are a top.

Not OP but if you have to ask this, then maybe you're the problem.

People bring a lot to relationships, this is like saying women of the past who don't work and are provided for by their husbands never bring anything to the relationship.

If bringing money is your only concern in a relationship, you're after a business partner not a love partner. Many spouses male and female don't have jobs in relationships and it works just fine.

Broke, unemployed dudes don’t date other broke, unemployed dudes. There’s a reason for that.

[quote]In other nations, specially developing nations, people tend to care for what a person has to offer in character rather than his status as most are broke.

R47, it's a funny thing about those developing nations ... they're all poor. Come back and lecture us when your country has become rich but still maintains its soulful nature.

This is one of those ridiculous, open-ended questions that can only be answered with "it depends".

How old is the man, why is he broke and unemployed, and is he in debt? Those are obvious questions.

A 22-year-old who's just starting out might well be broke and unemployed. A 40-year-old who started a business that ultimately failed ... OK.

But a 40-year-old who's never had a decent job or - worse - who has had and lost a series of jobs? Huge red flag. It's not a matter of his not having money per se, it's what not having any money or prospects says about someone who's well into adulthood.

Heavy debt with no reasonable plan to pay it off is another deal-breaker.

Then again, I'm attracted to masculine adult males. If you like pretty, artistic boys, then you're probably going to be stuck with the broke and unemployed for your whole life.

[quote] [R47], it's a funny thing about those developing nations ... they're all poor. Come back and lecture us when your country has become rich but still maintains its soulful nature.

My country has been America for a long time, so your point is moot. I didn't chose to live here, but then again here I am. There are many other rich nations where people aren't as focused on titles and status as Americans, you should travel more.

This is a distinct character trait of Americanism, a society that couldn't care less about people but what they can bring to this slavery machine that is capitalism.

Once again, then you wonder why so many of you shoot random people at public places. You don't see this phenomenon anywhere else as frequent.

I guess self-criticism isn't one of your qualities either. This thread is a good indicator of that.

Americans are one of the most unhappy people I've ever met. This Message board is a good example of that.

R54, I recently met a guy like that. Seemed really nice, kind, etc. Turned out the real situation was that he was unemployable due to mental illness and probably a drug addict. And homeless.

Once I realized the true situation, I ended up having to go through a really awkward scene to throw him out and changed the locks behind him. And he was never rude, just desperately trying to stay there after I discovered he was severely mentally ill and possibly dangerous. It was scary because I didn’t know how he would react.

I learned my lesson. I’m not a snob, but I don’t want to inadvertently invite Charles Manson to live in my house either.

So many broke, unemployed guys always play the victim. One of my social media acquaintances isn’t lifting a finger to improve his quality of life, but posts daily complaints that he can’t pay his bills and needs ‘help.’ This has been going on for years and isn’t just a rough patch. He makes excuses on why he can’t find a better job or why he doesn’t ever have money. He posts GoFundMe regularly to leech off his friends. He also posts about how miserable his life is and how he cannot afford this or that to try to prompt people to give him money. Total self absorbed leech.

Abso-fucking-lutely. I'm not a gold digger.

Absolutely. Jesus, all the middle class fraus on here saying everybody has to work to be of value. Your overlords will be proud. But you call them "Managers" don't you? Not everyone has your limited and very depressing lives. Some people don't have to worry about money and never have.

R51 women or anyone who is kept by someone else and doesn't pay their own way are whores. Pure and simple. No argument against them being a whore. I was at a Thai restaurant recently and there was a white girl with 3 of her lily white children, the child asked the mother if she'd pay the bill, the mother said: No, wait till daddy gets back. I almost laughed, I was like you're a fucking whore white girl!

This is tough because the dynamics are unequal. I’d give it a try anyway. I’m a hopeless romantic.

Yes, loyalty and love are far more important than money. Unfortunately, in my experience they're broke AND disloyal.

R57 BS, Mary! You just described one of the last episodes of Queer as Folk where Ted dated that Borderline east Indian dude and he keeps freaking out at Ted so he has to finally haul ass.

He loves you man.

R26 To be fair, that wasn't put forth in OP's hypothetical set up.

Sure. Why not?

Nope. J-O-B if you want 2 B WIT ME.

Of course. Use him until you're tired of him, Then throw him away.

r68

Not having a job means that he will almost always be available for you (more quality time together). Jobs lead to a timing and scheduling mess where he likely be too busy or tired for you when you need him, or vice versa. There are pros/cons for both.

Is he hot? Is he a good fuck? That's the only two thing that matter.

Is he disabled or just fat and lazy? Why no money or job?

Like others, it would depend on the circumstances. I'm looking for a partner, not a dependent. If he's unemployed and broke because he's recovering from a medical crisis or was a Peace Corps volunteer until recently, that's very different from someone who's just given up on the job search or is incapable of holding down a job due to personality issues or basic incompetence.

So long as he had a job by the end of the next week. Everyone needs a life plan. We all need money to live. Even a job below one's expectations is a start.

Have you guys read the OP's posts in other threads? This is not hypothetical. He is the one who is broke, unemployed, has social anxiety and mental health issues. Sheesh. He is relatively young, not bad looking, but in need of serious grooming and bathing. Apparently he is a shut-in, staying in a bedroom in some house with junk everywhere.

R64, my post wasn’t based on that episode, which I’ve never seen, it was based on a real thing that really happened to me. It scared the hell out of me, because I didn’t know the real situation of that guy until after he moved in “for a few days.” Then I couldn’t get him out.

After I found out the cover story he told me was all lies, I put two and two together with other things he told me, and realized what was really going on. After a few days, he confessed a lot of his real situation he’d never told me before. It was the exact opposite of his first story.

He damaged the hell out of the house when I was away, just trashed it, then acted like he couldn’t understand anything was amiss. That part was just astounding to me. Destroy someone’s house, then have no idea why that’s a problem or why they don’t want you to live there any more. How messed up do you have to be not to understand that’s a problem? I had to throw a lot of things away and still am trying to repair damage. I started realizing he had some extreme form of mental illness or disability (which didn’t show at all at first). He seemed to have no idea what normal behavior was, and had been angrily thrown out of his last place. I never got the full story on why that happened. The story I heard was a lot of excuses and lies, but I did manage to figure out they threw him out for cause.

I finally realized I wasn’t “helping a friend,” I had invited a homeless stranger into my house I knew nothing about. Because everything he told me was lies. That’s a very frightening situation to be in.

I wouldn’t start dating a guy who was broke and unemployed, but there was a period where my partner of 4+ years was unemployed and I was paying for everything and that was totally fine with me. He was actually a lot more upset about me paying for everything than I was. But that’s within an already established relationship and temporary. I wouldn’t sign up for that forever unless it was something we had worked out and negotiated (ie you’re not working due to a health issue/kids/taking care of a family member/etc.)

It doesn't bother me OP. Not everybody is a worker bee.

Define the term "date." If you mean going out for dinner and a good roll in the ahy - sure why not. If you mean getting into a serious relationship - probably not.

Yes, OP. I would.

I have my own money. Not tons, by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m not financially dependent on anyone.

We would stay home, Netflix & chill.

I have a private income. I met a beautiful man on a beach 20 years ago and we've been together ever since. He has never worked, per se, but makes sure the house and grounds are looked after, is a wonderful and entertaining host. We take care of each other. If he had a job, we wouldn't be able to travel as easily as we do nor would we be as free to pursue our interests.

Maybe. No mother's basement shit, tho. Not even for The Good Dick.

r81, just curious, what is a "private income?" I take it to mean you're a trust fund baby who has never had to work a day in their life.

So, not too much skin off your nose to take on a grifter who wishes to pursue a similar lifestyle.

R81 types Talented Mr Ripley. I’d ask OP, if you’re a nice loyal guy who’s broke and jobless, would you date you? Or you expect your man to have a job, and support you?

Yes, I was stupid enough to fall for a homeless, loser parasite. First, out of compassion, then I was dickmatized, but ultimately I had to move 100 miles away to escape him before he completely bankrupted me.

Funny how OP lists his “loyalty” and sexual usefulness, but says zero about his character or personality.

It would depend heavily on those two factors for me, just like with any relationship.

Gay men who know nothing about real dating, their worldview comes from porn r86. If you are looking for something more than a quick fuck, it's their personality which matters a lot.

I think it would be fun to be an upper class white dude from the rich part of town and slum it for a year in love with homeless trash. Eating, living, and sleeping in garbage. Getting addicted to opioids then dying in some dirty dank dark back alley way on skid row. FUN!

R88 Maybe one the liars here who claim to not care about their bf’s unemployment and money situation will find you and fall in love with you.

Absolutely not. I've seen enough friends and family members nearly destroyed by leeches.

R90 yes agreed. Any woman who does not work and 100% pay her own way is a despicable leech. The worst kind.

For r83 because his google machine is broken.

Ha!

Yes . And I don’t have to fuck him. Friendship is possible without sex...

Broke and unemployed, no. Unemployed, but not broke. Yes. Employed and broke, yes.

[quote] [R90] yes agreed. Any woman who does not work and 100% pay her own way is a despicable leech. The worst kind.

That's NOT what we're talking about, and YOU know it.

Unemployed, yes, but broke, no. In fact, I plan to be such a person in 6-7 years once I become financially-independent and retired early.

I will have passive income streams that can easily sustain all my living expenses and no longer choose to be employed. I hope that's not a dealbreaker for future spouses... I may even want to leech off their health insurance plan if I land a marriage, assuming the spouse will continue to be employed.

There’s a dynamic I wouldn’t want in a relationship where I had to rely on someone for money. I’ve been working since I was 13, never collected unemployment or welfare and been broke AND sole provider in relationships. I dated a billionaire for a week just because I wanted to see what it was like, he was a gorgeous Swede, but I wasn’t attracted to him. It was fun but he was controlling, it‘s often a privilege comes with the money people are unaware they have.

Bisexual, he also flaunted me to his friends as the first male he dated, I met his previous girlfriend and boy was that weird and uncomfortable! I didn’t like being flaunted. When you’re the one that has the money, sooner or later, you have to say, “no”.

THAT’S when you discover if it’s true love or not.

R98 dated a billionaire. As if, Mary!

The comments in this thread are interesting in the way they highlight the difference between heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

When a straight couple marry and have children, it’s not uncommon for the wife to quit her job to stay home and take care of the household and children. No one finds that odd, although some feminists disapprove for political reasons. Similarly, when heteros marry, no one thinks it’s wrong or suspicious if the husband has a job that pays 90% of the bills, while the wife works in some arty or human services job that pays next to nothing. Hetero men accept these things as a matter of course.

The comments in this thread (which I’ve seen echoed in many others over the years) suggest that most gay men would be uncomfortable in a relationship where someone else economically depended on them, or where they depended on their partner. Is this about male gender roles and our attitude toward men who don’t “pull their own weight”?

[R7] I know you're not really Melania, but I love you. In fact, I love you more because you're not that skanky ho -You're a gay man who undoubtedly has a delicious dick and a tight hole to go with the wit and brainpower.

No, because that's me at the moment. I wish it weren't, but there isn't room enough for the two of us to be unemployed.

R37, 40% of married women are breadwinners. Not to mention they are still responsible for the majority of house keeping duties. Stop living in the past. Not to mention, more women attend college than men, currently; so that percent will only increase.

R100 talk to an average Millennial these days. Every one of them has every personality disorder known to men. It is tedious listening to these fuckers listing off every thing they have. Not unlike super cunt Gaga claiming she has all sorts of shit. Claiming she has been raped. Yes. I am so sure. If younger guys had no mental illnesses and were averagely normal maybe then they could be sugar babes. But who wants to care for a fucking nutcase/basketcase?

Why is he unemployed? Is he planning to change that situation or just sponge off me? If it's just a temporary setback then yes, I'd consider it.

It's about the person, not what they do for a living. There are a multitude of reasons why someone isn't employed, mental health issues etc. It doesn't make these people less worthy of being loved.

If a guy is hot who cares if doesn't have money? I have my own money, I don't need anyone else's

Absolutely I would, if he was honest and showed some marketable skills. I'm retired but luckily I'm still in a position to help a talented person become employed.

Why is everyone looking at us?

[quote]I have my own money, I don't need anyone else's

R107, the problem arises when HE wants YOUR money.

If you're rich enough to afford a spouse, partner, boyfriend or fuckbuddy who has no money or job - this would be know as a "kept man" - then why not? Not many men are quite rich enough to do that without damaging their own financial status, though.

If I were really rich, I might think about it, but unfortunately the men I find attractive tend to be serious, driven, in-charge types. Men like that are rarely unemployed or unoccupied. They may not be making a lot of money, but they're doing something that's important to them. Otherwise, they're just, well, a male version of Melania (Melanio?). Fine if you like it, but not my type at all.

if he had a 10 inch cock, yes. yes i would.

R100, these sorts of dynamics have been studied already. Associative dating/pairing/coupling has been a mainstream thing for a few generations now. Back when women didn't work outside the home, men dated the hottest available chick they could find and didn't care much about education or finances. When women started getting degrees and good jobs, men and women both switched the choice criteria for similar incomes and education levels, or better.

Men have been found to be more into finding a similar income and education mate than women are, which might explain why gay men appear more concerned about finding a partner who is similar in income and education.

But associative pairing is all very crass and greedy when it comes down to it. Unfortunately a lot of you trolls on here have no means in your withered souls to figure out somebody's character, and you equate money with character.

Boomer gay men seem to be the biggest perps of this crass character flaw. Obsessed with hanging onto every dime; resolutely in refusal of any notion of sharing anything material, whether it be space or money or other goods, even with people you supposedly love. It's a strange bleak world they've created for themselves.

Honey, I married two of them... and both marriages lasted until death did us part.

Yeah I would. I would like to have a male wife to take care of my home, cook, clean, run errands for me, etc. And bust that ass open for me at the end of the day!

No but really, I would not mind having a Tommy Didario & Gio Benitez type deal.

I have done. Many times. Only one was worth it.

I wouldn't advise it.

Yes. I like a clean slate.

[quote] suggest that most gay men would be uncomfortable in a relationship where someone else economically depended on them, or where they depended on their partner. Is this about male gender roles and our attitude toward men who don’t “pull their own weight”?

More like the old queens of Datalounge than anything else. I have many friends in same sex relationships where one works and the other either takes care of the home, no children, or who's pursing a career in the arts. Granted I'm from the Film/TV industry so this dynamic is expected.

As a matter of fact two of my best friends, heterosexual men, are being supported by their wives/significant other as they pursue a career in screenwriting, one doing a MFA and the other writing all day and looking for representation and staffing. This dynamic is not uncommon in film. Many successful male screenwriters were at some point supported by their wives, they talk about it all the time in interviews.

I know this thread was started by the cute OP who's suffering from mental health issues and who's desperate to know if anyone will ever want him, so this is for you cute Southern Cal boy.

I had a friend who entered my life when I was full of anxieties and insecurities. He was once very rich, the son of a politician who unfortunately passed away. By the time we met we were in our mid 20s, he was broke, his older brother was in jail and his mother was on parole, his grandma was charging him rent and would lock him out if he couldn't scrape some.

I was an intern and surprisingly making good money with a couple of freelance jobs too. I helped him with clothes, groceries and resumes but he never ever thanked me for anything and his mental health issues would always prevent him from finding a job, so he would tell me. At some point our relationship felt uneven and I felt used, so I ghosted him.

Many years passed and some day he literally bumped into me on the streets. I tried to pretend I didn't know him but he insisted we'd grab some coffee so I did, reluctantly. Not only did he pay for the coffee but he pulled out a 100 dollar bill and gave it to me and thanked me for all the things I had done in the past for him, adding he knew this wasn't enough but he wanted me to see he had changed. I was shocked and at the same time really happy.

It turns out that he finally got his shit together and went to work on a cruise where he met his husband, a very wealthy guy a couple of years his senior. Today he's a somewhat known filmmaker, his career entirely financed by his husband who has no problem paying for the love of his life to pursue his freelance work as a documentary filmmaker. We've since gotten closer and they're one of the happiest couples I know.

So hang it there. It takes time and effort, but people will give you value for what you are and not what you have or the status you represent. Keep it up.

[quote] If I were really rich, I might think about it

You don't have to be rich to support two people in a relationship. Sometimes I think posters here are trolling or are way too elitists and well off to understand the real world. A lot of people from middle and lower classes live off one of the spouses. A fucking lot.

I would be the bread winner for an honest, funny, athletic hot boy or man in a fucking minute. I have no problem being a sugar daddy. I'm good looking too. Bring it on! He has to help clean.

[quote]When a straight couple marry and have children, it’s not uncommon for the wife to quit her job to stay home and take care of the household and children.

Yes but taking care of a house with young kids looks like a lot of work to me.

My spouse was unemployed when we got together. She worked for low pay for a lot of years after that before working her way into a good income. She worked as hard as I did so the income disparity didn't bother me.

We just celebrated our 32 anniversary.

"Men have been found to be more into finding a similar income and education mate than women are"

Not true

Rich men who like to travel frequently are more likely to prefer a partner who doesn't work so they are free to accompany them.

r112, it's not true at all that men are more likely to prefer educated and rich partners than women:

"Both men and women prefer partners with higher incomes, but this preference is much more pronounced for women. While income preferences appear to be largely homogeneous, there is heterogeneity in the way men and women value their partner’s education level. Generally, users prefer a partner who has a similar education level. However, while men have a particularly strong “distaste” for a better educated partner, women particularly try to avoid less educated men"

I think a lot of this has to do with the concept of “work.” There’s a lot of unpaid work that is hard work.

If the paying spouse sees the other spouse working very hard and accomplishing something, being productive, then money isn’t everything. A lot of the concerns posters have involve partners that are addicts or mentally ill who aren’t doing anything productive and want to use the supporting partner’s hard earned money to buy drugs, gamble or buy clothes, or lie in bed all day. If you’re raising children, working or volunteering at a low paid or unpaid job, or going to school with the goal of getting a degree that makes you employable, that’s different.

Even keeping house or hosting are productive jobs, but my advice to OP is, don’t look for a situation where you’re going to be financially dependent on someone forever. Have a game plan for making yourself financially independent, like going to school. Do not depend on a partner keeping you forever, because that is highly unlikely and the older you are, the harder it is to pick up the pieces. Starting over at forty or fifty, with no job experience, is going to end up with you homeless in your old age. And it’s very common.

R112, assortative dating and mating is related to social class. The role of women in society has changed, so class markers for women have changed somewhat. But in the past as well as in the present, people tended to marry others from the same class and level of education as themselves.

[quote]If you’re raising children, working or volunteering at a low paid or unpaid job, or going to school with the goal of getting a degree that makes you employable, that’s different.

Agreed, R126. Devoting your life to art or writing, working at a low-paying job you like, or staying home to manage the household and bring up children is not being "broke and unemployed". I think the implication of OP's question was a truly broke and unemployed person - not someone who was pursuing a productive life goal that didn't bring in much money.

Yes, I took "broke, unemployed" as someone who was defiantly determined to stay that way. Not someone aspiring to some sort of education or arts interests. Just someone who was satisfied being unemployed as a career choice.

R99, I was a bartender at a club like SplashBar NYC. The guy didn’t reveal he was wealthy, he tipped me $50 three times for Pepsi. After the 3rd, his much sexier friend Came over and told me he liked me. He also mentioned he didn’t leave the house with less than $60K on his back in clothes, jewelry etc. he told me he was a millionaire but friend said billionaire and from wealthy family. He looked just like a very young Dolph Lundren, but I like dark Latino guys so not my type. I was intrigued by dating a billionaire so I gave him a week and he took me to the best restaurants of Boston.

A “night out” was to rent half of the top of the Pru restaurant and invite 40 of his closest friends. All the waiters knew him and I got vibe he was a regular. He also had a private zoo. They really do love very different than us.

He invited me to NYC Fashion week and front row at Prada and to buy the entire collection but I intended to go on my own because I wanted to whore around that weekend!