Why does it feel like every effeminate gay man I see in public wants me?

EST 2/10

You sound like a little bit of a mess. You need to try and fix yourself before you even consider trying to get a man. Keep your priorities in check.

All minorities think white guys lust after them. It' s Delusions of Grandeur.

Why don’t you call the effeminate Latino therapist and make an appointment for love?

Verificatia?

De Clerambault's Syndrome

Focus on your mental health, dude. You’ll be better off, promise.

Oh because they do. Isn't it obvious? God I want you right now myself.

Are you that skinny depressed twink who's hung like a horse? With that thread about your depression back in like 2015/2016?

r9

Yes, that's me.

OP, I hate to feed stereotypes, but these guys are likely bottoms and as such, they’re expecting you to make the first move. The next time it happens, don’t break the stare. Just walk up to them and tell them (don’t ask them) to give you their number.

Probably EST but in case it isn’t..

This is going to sound like Lesbian Tough Love but I’ve been right where you are so I know: THEY WEREN’T INTO YOU, THEY WERE JUST DOING THEIR JOBS. When you have a public-facing job it is a basic requirement to be somewhat nice to strangers who use your services. That is all.

I recommend you get a small, easy, sedate parttime job yourself (preferably one with few-to-no coworkers) even if just on weekends or -30 hours per week. You are way too far in your own head disengaged from the world and ergo others, which is at the heart of your struggles (finding out the why comes later).

I was just like you at 25-26 so I get it totally. What you need is regular hours weekly or daily back in a job or school, and to talk to people while there with no expectation of a relationship (not even friendship).

I also recommend you fix your diet (drink water or plain tea, cut caffeine/sugar and up good fats/proteins, take Vitamin B/C/D every day), walk a short distance in daylight every day, and write 3 pages of journaling every morning (these can just be rants like the one you wrote above, to get it all out) that you show to no-one. Bonus points if you can read a little bit every day too (a physical novel or non-fiction book, not a blog or fanfic or DL). All of this is about resetting you back to a point where you could relate on a calm social human level without the frustration & self-consciousness of extreme egocentrism - which I’m here to tell you is really just fear of change & trust & the unknown.

Just breathe, take little steps daily. D.I.F.H (your Mama, that is) if not for yourself.

OP, does your mom go everywhere with you? That needs to stop immediately and is likely a major obstruction. Next haircut, go by yourself and eye fuck the effeminates Latino cashier. Give him your number on a post-it.

r11

I literally can't do that. My social anxiety is that bad. IfIfpI could do that I would've gotten plenty of ass by now, had a boyfriend. Lol I don't even have a cell phone or anything because I'm too anxious. My mom was going to get me my first smart phone for Christmas and I told her not to.

I’m that case, R14, you just need to be medicated.

Sorry OP, but no matter good the advice on here it's not going to do you any good. You need to continue seeing a doctor about your mental illness before even considering getting laid. Get off DL, hook-up advice is the last thing you need right now.

You are not well; which is a pity since that huge dick of yours is going to waste.

It seems you may also be confusing anyone who is just kind of caring towards you as being into you. Since you don't have a lot of social interaction, you are really reading into each interaction you do have. Some people are really good at customer service and making people feel good and therapists / psychiatrists are trained to build rapport and make you feel safe and comfortable. You may be confusing that for them wanting you. It isn't uncommon to be attracted to people who are helping you. You sound like you need some intensive treatment - beyond what you are getting.

Do you know how to smile sincerely at people? That comes after the eye contact.

Jon/ PMBT?

r13

I haven't gotten a haircut in over a year. Last time I went (it was a different place from where he was working) was November 2018 and it was awful and traumatizing. So I'be been too scared. My hair looks awful probably and I'm balding at a very young age, probably a symptom of the anxiety. Anyway, they shaved me and cut my hair and my skin was inflamed, bleeding, burning, in pain and the lady who cut my hair thought I had ringworm (it turned out to be seborrheic dermatitis) and was disgusted. It was so embarrassing. I already hated going (I hate people getting that close to me examining all my flaws) and that made everything 1000000000000x worse as it confirmed my fears and anxiety. My facial hair is really bad, unkempt and my hair is awful as I said.

Anyway I really doubt he's working there anymore. I last saw him years ago. I really can't go anywhere by myself anyway

What you want is a really butch straight acting white boyfriend. None of the people who approach you fill the bill.

r16

I'm not getting any treatment right now and I'm uninsured because I turned 26 last year so I could no longer be on my mom's insurance.

OP, if you really aren't an EST, I recommend you check out online resources for people with social anxiety. It's not at all uncommon to have difficulties connecting meaningfully with other people. It's kind of an epidemic actually.

Social anxiety shouldn't keep you from managing basic hygiene. You can trim your facial hair easily and also have your mom trim your hair. You don't need to touch the skin to trim hair and all you need is scissors to clean it up.

Also try going on the online chat at 7cups. It is a great (free) network for connecting with people who will listen and be non judgmental.

I made a video for y'all

I really hope you get help OP and put that horse dick to good use. Once you make considerable progress overcoming your mental illness and put effort into grooming yourself, you'll have no problem finding an insatiable bottom. We're an unlimited supply in the gay world!

r26

Thanks. I know this isn't who I am and this isn't the life I truly want. My issues have ruined my life and have trapped me. I'm stuck and can't live my best

For those who don't know, this was my xtube

Things will get better op. I know how you feel. I'm kinda the same way, just not as much of a shut in as I use to be. I'm 31 now, and working towards my goals to fully cement myself and everything I want.

You just have to push yourself a little. It what I did. I know it's hard, but you still have to try. Things will only get better if you put in the effort. It's hard, but it has to be done. It's a new year, and this is a great time to try and make the changes you want in your life.

Baby steps is all it takes.

I'm the opposite of a fem guy, but I would totally date you OP, your video is very cute and you're totally my type, specially with your glasses and beard. I'm might be too old for you though, I'm in my mid thirties but I live close to you.

I've suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for years so I know where you come from. Good luck you'll have no problem finding love.

You are boring.

OP I have an important life lesson for you that I hope you will find valuable going forward and that it may assist you in solving your myriad of peraonal issues. When one uses an acronym for the first time in a communication, you must explain it. So kindly explain what the fuck a “NEET” is? I don’t feel like googling it for an Elaborate Scenario Troll (EST).

Like attracts like?

R31 Not the OP but NEET stands for Not in Employment, Education, or Training. Basically young adults who are not meaningfully occupied during the day. I know of it because it is a metric used in research when looking at outcomes in various demographics of older teens and youth / young adults.

It takes a lot of confidence to film yourself and put it out there OP. You're cute and have a great body! I think you are way hotter with the short hair and short beard! Plus a beard that's long is reserved for men much older, because beards age a man. You are the perfect age and you should look late 20's, not late 30's. In my opinion. A man should look his best and most handsome when he is in the prime of his beauty. Which is now in your late 20's. Trust me.

You should definitely be able to find a guy. Maybe you should try getting a part time job that forces you interact with people. Starbucks, for instance. Or a retirement home, where you won't feel judged, because it's just a bunch of nice old grammies and grampas.

I would definite try to find a therapist. I'm in the OC, and I know down here there are free therapy services from therapists that are in training. Google it for South Bay. A lot of your issues with anxiety can be dealt with through talk therapy.

[quote] She has issues of her own and we tried once but it was a tough and stressful process only to be denied.

Here's a long shot but whatever. Have you ever tried one of those law firms with commercials during daytime tv? I remember watching People's Court and seeing a law firm that deals specifically with people who had their disability denied. They know all the tricks to get you a check and they usually charge like your first 2 checks or something.

How can you stay home so much and not have gotten fat by now...?

Jesus, OP, your mother must wake up every morning hoping you've died in your sleep.