Have you ever tried explaining Datalounge to friends?

I’ve described it as a gay message board with a lot of sexist and racist people that used to be funny.

I thought Datalounge was like Fight Club.

I don’t want to tell people about Datalounge. It feels like a private club I belong to, something I don’t have to share with my friends.

But on rare occasion I notice that I let slip a term from the Datalounge glossary. A friend was complaining that sex with her boyfriend is unfulfilling because her boyfriend’s penis is inadequate. I said something like, “Tinymeat is no fun.”

Only when I need to collect evidence against someone.

I've shared this anecdote before: my home computer died on me, and my BF brought over a laptop for me to use. I was testing it, and the first site I was to was DL. He was watching me test the laptop, and when we got to the DL front page, he said, "Enjoy the Bitchfest". So he's aware I post her, and isn't sure what to make of it. I have no idea if he's ever visited here on his own.

We live boring lives, don't we?

Nah, I don't share. I talk too much shit about them here.

I actually have a demanding (if rewarding) career, and a pretty satisfying personal life. And hobbies.

That said--friends and colleagues would be HORRIFIED if they had any idea of the amount of time I've spent posting/lurking here over the past 15 years. I assume they have no idea.

DL is too bizarre to explain to friends in real life.

I’ve sometimes posted about people I know here. Some call my an EST when I do, but I don’t care. However to quote R8, “That said--friends and colleagues would be HORRIFIED” if they knew I posted here especially about them.

One should never reveal one is a DLounger. It is shameful

Sure R8

Just keep repeating that to yourself. It will become true!

First rule of DataLounge:

You do not talk about DataLounge.

A few friends have caught me randomly scrolling or posting. The threads with dick or ass pics usually catches their attention. They're like, "what website are you on?"

Friends?

A friend of a friend mentioned DL one evening at a large dinner party, and I just cocked my head and acted like I had no idea of what he spoke.

I’ve tried. It ain’t easy!

I actually talk about it as if it’s as well known as BBC or NBC and people nod sagely, as they don’t want to appear ignorant.

Homosexuals Anonymous

Just...no.

I explain it like this: Imagine every nasty, bitchy, politically-incorrect thing you've ever heard come out of a gay man's mouth except worse because it's anonymous, then add pornography, senility, bitterness and spite and you're halfway there.

I tell them that DL is like an angry hornets nest, with keyboards and reusable stingers.

It’s a place full of gurls, pearls, twirls and lots of hurls.

Hens thirsting to find their cocks.

Datalounge is a cult. Not unlike the Manson Family or Jonestown.

No one would understand what I'm doing on DL. NO ONE.

I've read a few posts to friends, posts that had me in tears from laughter. My friends politely smile. They just don't understand us.

I fell through a portal and arrived here in 2011. My past life has no idea.

It's an acquired taste

"There is no crueler place than that vile pit of trollery."

-DL Fave Andy Cohen

Has anyone, anywhere, ever paid us a greater compliment?

I sometimes mention DL to my partner, especially an interesting or funny post, or one about animals. He enjoys the story, but he's not a forum kind of guy, and tends to avoid them like the plague, unless he's looking for technical information.

A place where a fat whore is welcomed and is offered other posters’ recipes that will make us even fatter.

the best description i’ve seen was “creative cynicism” which doesn’t really do DL justice.

I talk to my dad about it. I tell him it's the only unmoderated forum where everybody anybody says just what they like. And the gamut of information and opinion takes getting used to but there's no other forum like it that I've seen.

He thinks I'm a fuckin nutcase anyways 'coz I'm not obsessed with money the way he is. But we do discuss some of the threads here, the ones that I think have information that is of interest to him. It's lovely to have a real conversation with him instead of some bullshit anodyne fall exchange about the weather.

R25, our glorious leader Guru Muriel says, “Acid is groovy! Punch and delete the pigs! Drink the Helenesque!”

R5 That is the most boring anecdote ever. Please never tell it again.

We’re still hilarious.

My partner knows about it. He does like a few threads that I share with him (usually the Let's Be... threads), but otherwise he just doesn't quite get it. It is a cult like place. But I swear I couldn't live without it. More because I learn so much. Thanks to you all!!

Just once. And it made me seem like a completely unhinged narcissistic bitchy cunt. Never again.

R39 now I just enjoy it for the marvelous place that it is.

It takes a certain personality to appreciate this place. A lot of people just wouldn't get it, like an aspie doesn't get irony and sarcasm.

MY BF looked pretty horrified when I said I sometimes write about personal things from my life on here.

Also if you tell people it's a "gay" forum, they immediately think it must mostly be about sex.

I never in a million years would have thought I'd be a busy bee on a gay forum, ( I was never a Mr. Gay Bar, Christopher St. kind of gay) or any kind of internet forum. But after all these years I obviously fit in. I've found my corner on here. My alley. You'll find me multi-posting on the Mia Farrow threads with the best of them.

R42 You sad cunt.

It's where the seriously mentally ill gays meet to abuse one another anonymously.

I converted my spouse’s sister this week by showing her the Fuck You Axolotl thread.

I recommended the site to a friend who was reading a bio of Marlene Dietrich, but he seemed alarmed by the prospect of a thread full of people like him.

If they don't acknowledge the secret handshake move, never.

I read the "Let me tell you about Deb Messing" thread to a friend. I was in tears of laughter.

He just nodded and walked away.

That’s one deranged thread, r46. Thanks for the tip.

Aww crap, I meant r45 for the axolotl recommendation.

R49

Who wouldn’t die laughing from the Deb Messing threads, I just don’t understand.

You should link that, r48. I would do it but I don’t link on Saturdays.

Honestly, if someone doesn’t appreciate the genius of “Lets be a lesbian Thanksgiving “ I’m not interested in being their friend.

I would never tell anyone about dl irl.on rare occasions when I've thought a person I was talking to was a cunt of the kind like the rest of you I have dropped a vague and passing reference to dl or a term like childbearing hips or darfur orphan to see if he was a fellow dl. no one has picked up on them so far. I let it go at that.

I think I'd be mortified if some of my friends read some of the crap on here!

Especially my friend Cheryl!!

That it’s like looking through large restaurant window at a huge, delicious, unattainable food buffet—with countless Fat Whores busy stuffing their pie and other holes. I am allowed to lick the window and have witty exchanges from a distance, but, alas, we are hungry for different things.

First of all, this thread is cracking me up! R27 SAME. They just don't get us. It's like a really REALLY fucked up dysfunctional family in another universe. I mentioned it ONCE to this older guy I just knew was on here and he hesitated, looked at me out of the corner of his eye and said, "I've heard of it." And then we quickly changed the subject. haha! My boyfriend will never understand it, I've tried. And I talk mad shit about him on here too so I'm glad he's not interested. I arrived in 2010 and tried to leave many times because sometimes the hatred really was too much to take but always came back because honestly it's the only place I can really be my nasty ass unfiltered self. And that's how I like everyone else to be on here too. I don't want ANYTHING censored ever. Thats what makes it so rad. I don't care who you are. Everyone. The wit, the trollery, the bitterness of it all! haha. As much fucked up shit as I've heard on here I say let your racist, sexist, feminist, bigoted freak flag fly! I have learned so much from this site, laughed harder than I ever did with people in my real life, and even cried at some of these posts. It's not for the weak. I love it. Can you imagine if we ALL met up? Like a datalounge mixer and watched something that we had to discuss like on here but in person. Lord....lmao. I would love it though. That would be one hell of a night. We really should have our own show like The View with a constant rotating table of everyone who post here. We would bring the world to it's knees. No pun intended. haha.

[quote]Who wouldn’t die laughing from the Deb Messing threads, I just don’t understand.

Perhaps a Haitian with eye cancer?

My nightmare, r56, is that we all meet up and everyone is perfectly polite.

If your friends can’t enjoy the Didi von Cuntington “New York Social Diaries,” all hope is lost.

Only my best friend understands. I did a search for some bullshit one day and this site came up. I am a straight woman but there is no place for women or straights like this and it said I could join if I am delightfully something or other. I became hooked. Sarcasm, caftans, hot guys, recipes. This has it all. My best friend is gay and had never seen it. I got him to join. He was howling over grease fire deaths. Now I see what a bottom he is too. Learning so much.

And when you need advice you come here, nosy neighbors, big toe injuries, tres elegant dinners and of course how much Barbara Streisand either sucks or doesn’t suck. Oh, and the Royals....

No, you boys are my dirty little secret - for now. I’m launching a gay gossip podcast next year so I’m sure I’ll have to come out then. x

R58 we’d all just stand around in mortified silence, refusing to make eye contact. We’ve shared too much. It’s like PTSD.

I did. ONCE.

As a celebrity, YouTuber, and public figure known widely across the internet, of course, everyone knows my connection to DataLounge.

My niece and her husband are always using the term "Frau!" now after being schooled in its usage by me.

Thanks, Muriel and DataLounge, for helping me in my goal of re-obtaining all of the Gap In-Store Playlists that I lost from 1992 to 2006. I still have a long way to go to reach my goal but the DL has been very instrumental in assisting me, so I'm always quick to lavish praise.

Happy Holidays!

It should be easier to explain this place to others now that there is a new cultural touchstone. DL is the "Cats" of forums. It's something that shouldn't exist, but does anyway, just to piss you off.

I, too, sometimes refer to DL as if were some well-known institute, like the Britannica Encyclopaedia. It usually goes something like this:

“Yesterday, I read on DataLounge that the secret services know damn well where Ghislaine Maxwell is.”

Followed by either silence, when on the phone, or a polite nod when in person.

[R66] I told someone that uses a c pac in order to sleep that according to DL, he is a lesbian. He was very surprised, especially considering that I had told him a few months earlier that the same is true because of his walking stick. I also say “according to DL” as if it is a universal truth that is accepted by most people, like Darwin or Freud.

r63 you know what once leads to?

[quote]I also say “according to DL” as if it is a universal truth that is accepted by most people, like Darwin or Freud.

Yes, my view of the world is somewhat distorted by this place. It's a bit like having mad parents, or being born in Los Angeles.

It’s like being big and little edie in Grey gardens. They thought feeding raccoons in the attic and wearing skirts on their heads was normal and so DL has its own little world behind all the brambles and undergrowth.

That’s an apt analogy, r70.

Extra points for me for triple A’s.

Noted, r71.

[quote]Barbara Streisand

r60 With that, you PROVED that you're not a gay man.

I've deigned to share some gems from the DL with a select few of my nearest and dearest. And each time they have spurned me by tittering politely and awkwardly changing the subject. My husband hears me laughing sometimes and says "you must be on datalounge again" because little else makes me cackle the way this place does. So, the DL is my special land at the top of the Faraway Tree and you are all the strange and delightful creatures I venture there with.

I told my sister about it a few times. What I learned is don't tell anyone about this place. It's supposed to be a secret.

This site really does alter the way you see the world and navigate life. Who knew a site like this could have such a real life impact on you in all seriousness.

I think we need a secret handshake in order to identify ourselves if we meet in the wild.

"I think we need a secret handshake"

We do.

I clear my browser history every night, because I'm afraid after they kick down my door to get to my dead body sprawled on the floor with my caftan pulled over my head, they'll then check my browser history in order to determine whether a crime has been committed, and in that browser history, they'll find all the evidence of DL! AND I JUST COULDN'T! THE THOUGHT OF IT! I JUST CAN'T! OMG ! I'M GETTIN THE VAPORS! I NEED TO LIE DOWN! WHERE'S MY FAINTING COUCH? WHO STOLE MY FAINTING COUCH, YOU BITCHES!

I love you, r78. You can always faint on my face, and I mean that very sincerely.

I want to go to bars with R78.

I don’t discuss it because I don’t know how to pronounce it.

A lot of really crazy stuff shows up on Data Lounge. Sometimes I share the best of it with friends, sending them links via email or text.

They usually love the tidbits I pass along. Someone always responds, "Where do you find this stuff?" If I tell them I saw it on Data Lounge, they sniff and act like it isn't funny anymore. They all know Data Lounge, but they feel compelled to communicate that they are better than Data Lounge. They aren't.

R74 yes, I know that feeling too. And a couple of times I have laughed so much I could feel myself starting to pee, the laughing was so intense and genuine.

I describe it as if Reddit and 4Chan fucked and had a gay baby.

I have once explained Datalounge to one of my close friends. And then he died.

Never. My husband reads it and we sometimes laugh at threads together, but I would never tell anyone that I posted at this cesspool.

Oh, hell no. I’ll sometimes reference a discussion or some point that people have made. I just call this place a message board and be done with it. Way too difficult and complicated to try and describe this place.

I tried to explain it to my straight female friend. She didn't get it.

I tried to explain it to her husband, but he didn't want to hear any of it.

But I did introduce him to the terms: Crotchfruit; Frau: and AWG. He told all his buddies at work and they all loved it! But then again they did like the term soyboy, so I don't know.

This place is better than an ecstasy trip.

This place is where assholes come to truly flourish.

R90 lacks self awareness.

Gay reddit.

R2, It is. And these punk ass, new age, baby millenials don't fkin understand that. I oughta hate fuck them all.

I tried to explain a few aspects of the DL but you really need to be immersed in DL culture before you can truly appreciate and/or hate it. if anything, they eschew the the DL because I like it and they don't get it. Now whenever I say something snide or catty about fraus or pass-around-bottoms they ask me condescendingly, "Where did you hear that? On the DataLounge?" Then I get the superior head shake and stink eye from them.

I scream, "Why do you hate my friends? Shut up! I hate YOU!" and then I run upstairs to my bedroom slamming the door loudly behind me before diving onto my bed and sobbing into my pillow over you, DL. Why do I always go for the bad boys?

Not much to explain so vile pit of trollery should do. There's little celebrity gossip and few fun threads so I guess those people have left DL. Now it's porn, politics and pets.

When I read R38 of this thread and then clicked on the photo I laughed so hard I drooled, I mean I was completely out of control for a good 10 minutes. I showed it to a friend and he just stared at me.

As if anyone on here has any friends.

VA-VA-VA Voom! Vamping up the vart vorld!

R68....

I always think twice before mentioning the place, which means it doesn't come up; and on the off chance that it does, never by name. That's given only on evidence of sufficient curiosity and not before a lot of questions and warnings that it's not for everyone.

No way I'm inflicting that on any of my friends. They would be horrified.

I've been paying wee visits here since 2001. Really, it did used to be better. Boards like this one were new and a gay board was a treat. Homos from every line of business passed through here and, of course, they blabbed everything they knew. You really did read about things first at Data Lounge. Now they have other options for spreading dirt at the speed of light.

In those days, I found it very useful to read Data Lounge in conjunction with the mainstream news. Things would be hinted at here that later exploded in the press. Other times, dirt bombs were exploded here that the mainstream press glommed onto quickly. Often, the mainstream press would give the sanitized and deodorized version of a story, but the real story was laid out here in graphic detail. Other things just stayed here, languishing or becoming legend. Sometimes pathology. The Broadway threads are dangerous. Lots of sick people there.

Explaining the things discussed at Data Lounge is not so difficult. It's all heightened to make it funnier, or more dramatic, or more disgusting, or more inflammatory than any of it ever had reason to be. Data Lounge itself is a digital gay gathering place for gossip. Only on occasion does any discussion have any gravitas. But when it does, it is reassuring that in its face, the snark and the pointless dramatics continue unabated.

[quote]Now it's porn, politics and pets.

LOL

& the Royal family. There were always phases of Royal interest when you'd get a slew of threads, now it's a constant.

[quote]There's little celebrity gossip and few fun threads so I guess those people have left DL.

A lot of that was to do with the constant aggression toward and insulting of "eldergays"...crashing into "eldergay" threads and insulting everyone. That was what I liked about DL, talking to folk older than me. They were witty and interesting. They had more experience of life and could impart more information. The bullies won. The elders moved away. I don't blame them.

The bullies are chasing away everyone who's not a young, white masc male. Soon this will be Trumpland like everywhere else

OP, if I had friends I wouldn't be here.....

I learned the term "axe wound" here and used it with a lesbian friend of mine. She had no idea what it meant and was quite amused and scandalized when I told her.

Ha, ha. Gotta love this place.

Perhaps gay culture and celebrity culture have both changed. The overlap that used to be there before the dominance by tv culture and social media is gone. Once a gay man about town whether an opera Broadway or Philharmonic queen would run every now and then into Leonard or a Rudolf or an Andy in foyers, Elaine's, Bathhouses, or openings. Anecdotes were first hand, or second, and one spoke of Merce or Tallulah or Quentin. There was gossip and a gossip culture.

I agree with those who say Datalounge is like Fight Club, you don't talk about it.

What do you mean? Datalounge IS a friend.

I refer to it as "reddit". I don't want anyone I know to find out I have a secret fuck buddy and his name is Datalounge.

[quote] The elders moved away.

Ummm, not everyone.

Here from the start. 1995.

Obviously NOT everyone and also obviously, the DL gaylings of yesteryear are the eldergays of today.

R102 It really did used to be better. I even remember that back in 2010 with the old layout. This place was fire. This is where I discovered Robert Conrad and his gorgeous fat ass.

So I sat in a NYC restobar today, trying to read the latest and the bartender kept interrupting me. As he did, other people would look down and I became ever so slightly paranoid that randos around me would look down and see what was on my phone as I was engaged in conversation with the bartender.

Then I pondered possible threads I could have written about that moment: “Fuck this nosy bartender. Why can’t he go home to Montenegro?!”, “Just how far can Eddie Van’s descend?”, “Why am I eating meat when I could feed it to the homeless and eat an Impossible Burger (TM) instead?”

Now I’m back in my hotel and realized a couple minutes ago my window shades were drawn open and people in the building across could see me sit to pee.

Who else could I tell this to?

^^^I love it.

If Datalounge didn't exist, I'm not sure I would.