Axolotls Piss Me Off

Fuck you, Axololtl, don’t be giving me that look. Fuck you, Axolotl, fuck you.

This won't take off. He's too darn cute to deserve the level of hate blobfish gets.

I could see how one of those could sneak right up on you. It’s got legs. But a blobfish? There’s no w

Do not EVEN consider a flirtation, I see right through you, you rotten little axolotl.

Fuck you, fuck you.

Olms piss you off too, OP? Look at the poor lil' blind fella.

That is the most adorable thing ever.

Blind? I don’t see any dark glasses. I don’t see a tin cup. You’re being manipulated, r5. Fuck them, fuck them.

Is that the Advent Axololtl ?

La madre de fucker CarrotTop.

OP, maybe if you hear both sides, you’ll change your mind?

Memory, all alone in the moonlight...

What’s you game, Axololtl, hmm?

Oink

Axolotls are capable of regenerating lost limbs and some inner anatomy which biologists have been studying in the hopes the process could help with human injury and healing so OP would do well to give the axolotl some credit.

Aquatic prostitution. Vile.

They keep smiling, even through the hardest of times. Brave little axolotls.

I, for one, welcome our new Axolatl overlords.

Totes adorbs!

Yeahhh, see? I’m comin’ for your Mama. I’m comin’ for your Poppa. I’m a murdering murderer, I’ll slurp you up. And what's the last thing you’ll see? My smiling good humor as your light dims. Death. Death.

Death.

If it weren't for amphibians we'd all still be stuck in the water.

They can’t be entirely bad. I read in USA Today that an Axolotl saved seventeen children from a watery grave when their school bus plunged into the deep.

In the water I'm a very skinny amphibian.

No! Not Mrs. Rosin!

He did it with his tiny hands alone, r23. We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

That’s ridiculous. I ran over an axolotl once (long story), and there wasn’t a malicious bone it it’s squished little carcass.

Next I’m coming for the poster who said “Totes Adorbs.” I’m coming for you, Dweezil.

R26, Ooh! Oooh! Axolotls! Let me watch him die, let me watch him die, Axolotls!

Bring me the head of Totes Adorbs and I will bow down in fealty evermore, Axolotl.

I see you, OP. I know what you are. You're just a big ole BLOBFISH hiding behind the faces of innocents and projecting your evil upon them.

Coward. Come for me, coward. Your cover is blown and I'm tired of running.

Ah, does r29 have a name? Hark. Show thine self!

I wish to know the name of the man I killed who mixed me up for a goddamn blobfish.

I’ve got a machete, a blowtorch, an Axolotls-grade stun gun and I’m goin’ in.

Make room, fucker, Daddy’s home.

R31?

Bastards!

It’s going ok, r32, except for the blow torch for obvious under water reasons. I’ve switched it out for a wooden club. Die! Die! Make room for Daddy now!

Is this Baby Groot?

Those fuckers are quick on their feet.

^ Correction, r33

All you whiners.

I want to know, who among you have signed on to an involvement with some guy with a tree growing out his head?

[quote] Show thine self!

See? Only blobfish are this illiterate. What a poseur.

Has anyone seen an axolotl with a potrzebie?

OP, that’s all well and good, but has it occurred to ask one how it feels about you?

Look at this vicious little cunt

Ew. Squish it!

R41, that's one cute gif.

My favorite thing about it is the little red bridge he’s got to play around on.

SUP BETCHES

Well?

I’m practically extinct, but you bitches want me in your home aquarium?

I will NOT wear your caftan.

I will NOT wear your earrings.

If I die, let me die having never seen TCM.

Never count on the French.

R22 for godssake, how about a trigger warning. If Shelley Winters wants to take it up the butt that’s fine I guess, but you could at least warn the DL upfront that viewing that video causes nightmares.

And don’t you dare tell me that was Red Buttons giving it to Shelley Winters but good. I’ll kill myself, I will.

R41 is killing me.

Yeah, R49, no wonder that they’re endangered!

R50, that slug is clearly inebriated, and hiccuping.

I don't know why these things are ignored. I’m offended.

My post is to r41, actually.

-from r51

Oh come on, everyone who’s anyone knows that Red Buttons was a harsh and controlling top.

He even had Ernest Borgnine ground down and reduced to tears, while Ethel Merman stood behind some long curtains and smiled.

They are cute! I like them, they have jaunty little personalities.

They sho is ugly.

R46 and R50, axolotls are easily and commonly bred in captivity. They're not going extinct as a species, only in the wild.

It's a sad but true fact that some of these species live on only in our fishtanks. I was recently reading about some other species that went extinct from Mexico or maybe Central America, but it's literally thriving in people's tanks.

And I think the same is true of the Koala, which have been extinguished from certain parts of their range in Australia due to the horrific fires destroying the eucalyptus forests. But the species should be ok -- partly because they are still hanging on in other parts of their range, but also because there are so many of them in captivity they can be reintroduced when the time is right.

[quote]They are cute

We know, Rose.

Hard not to love these smiling little buggers.

They are not smiling. So stupid for idiotic humans to attribute humanistic traits to other species. Don’t look through everything with an anamorphic lens.

R57 On a related note I read recently that there are more Burmese pythons living wild in Florida than in Burma.

r60, you mean anthropomorphic? Though looking at an axolotl through an anamorphic lens would exaggerate its mouth.

You again. Come to kill us all again?

HA!

I’ll remind you that we are onto you, axolotl, and with God as my witness, you will be defeated.

[Quote] Has anyone seen an axolotl with a potrzebie?

Oh my, R39, you’ve gone positively Mad.

One of my favorite threads, and I’m stressed these days. Bumping for the hell of it.

Little known fact: due to their long fingers, Axolotls are gifted piano players.

I get anxious when I see an animals, especially a fish, smile. There's something unseemly about it, especially if they got legs and feet. Am I alone here?

I met an axolotl once, nice guy. We met at my lunch counter, I served him a piece of pie. Mostly we talked about freshwater vs. salt water. When the bill came he left me a 50% tip.

I’ve never seen these before. They are so cute!

No no and no. Squish it!

Few realize that this theme music is played by one lone axolotl.

Play Misty for you?

I'm amazed everyone thinks they're so cute - they freak me out, I can't even look at them.

Such amazing keyword wizardry!

Acksholotlsh.