Let's Be Vaguebook

Ugh, cancer. 😢

I’m an Easy Jet passenger who is now on the Instagram page of some rude cunt I’ve never met. No one knows my name, but now I’m famous, & I don’t even know it! ☹️

I'm Todd.

I’m the fake Marilyn Monroe quote that, to paraphrase, is something like “If you can’t take me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

It’s the neon sign of BPD.

Not again.

Why do these things keep happening to me? I'm done. I'm just done.

R6, I'm the frau who responds with "what happened, girl? Whatever it is, they don't deserve you. You're awesome."

I’m the frau who comments “PM me hon and we’ll talk. love ya!”

I’m the picture of a cute one legged dog, I bet I won’t even get one share.

I'm the neighbour's dog. I am wondering why I was borrowed by humans next door to click pictures. It was so they could have more attention - even though they spelled my name wrong(it's percy with a "y" Becky!)

Yikes! R8 I do that sometimes.

Now don't be silly R9 dogs always pump up likes and shares!

I'm the person you're vaguebooking about, who is not on Facebook and not seeing your posts and couldn't give two shits about your grievances.

Asking for prayers right now!!!!

I'm the friend texting screenshots to your ex, of all your passive aggressive posts him.

I’m thoughts and prayers, love and light.

My earrings are something. . .

My caftans just isn’t . .

always remember you never know what someone may be going through 😢

I'm desperate for attention, trying to pretend I'm not.

I’m the frau who rolls her eyes about her cousin being all dramatic with cryptic posts. I just posted: “There are givers and takers in this world. You can be both, and if you are, I’m happy to give to you. But if all you do is take, I have to give you directions to the door. Sorry not sorry, just enforcing healthy boundaries for myself!”

So...Over...It.

We got you, Todd. Stay strong.

Why do I even try anymore! Ugh!

To the person who new what they did and when you are in my sites dont even try to say your sorry cuz its gon way beyond tht now

They know who they are.

(picture of ice cream)

Some days all you can do is eat all the feelings

I can't explain why right now, but: prayers UP.

Sometimes you just have to let the negative people go. From now on I’m living for ME.

Mood.

I'm taking a break from Vaguebook. Those who are my true friends will know how to contact me and not need a reminder of when my birthday is. I have no room for fake people or negativity anymore. There comes a point when you have to let it go. There will be another song for me and I will sing it. There will be another dream for me, someone will bring it.

I am just so DONE!

No one paid attention to my cryptic post the first time so I will have to click "Like" so it shows up again on people's feeds.

Cleaning our my friends list. If you want to stay comment yes on this post.

Is that something you’ve actually seen R33?

Mind blowing.

I'm the friend who has told you "Why don't you just leave him? You deserve better" 50 times. When cryptic status #51 comes around I just roll my eyes and scroll past it because I'm tired of repeating myself.

R34, yes, but not so much now as I did when I first got on Facebook years ago.

I've seen that too about purging.

I'm the cryptic quote shared immediately after my status that relates to whoever or whatever I was talking about before. Just in case I didn't drive the point home the first time.

Ok, so THAT happened!

Relationship status updated to single. All pictures of and with HIM deleted.

I'm narcissism, which the vaguebooker ironically accuses EVERYONE ELSE of.

I know this is a long post. But if you've read the whole post, please respond with a "hell, yeah." I want to see how many people click "share" without actually reading.

I bet I won't even get one "like."

Most won't, but my real friends (and I think I know who you are) will share.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them!!!

I’m sorry if this makes you feel guilty, but it is all your faults. Goodbye.

You probably won't be hearing from me for a while.

The Facebook purger is always my favorite. It's almost always someone you met through a friend of a friend or at a party 10 or 15 years ago that you quickly realize is a looney the more of their posts you see. Some big loss. I'm always tempted to respond "you can purge me. I'm sick of your shit anyway."

Something unexpected has happened and I can’t pay this month’s bills! Help! Link to gofundme

I am so depressed and in so much pain this may be the last you ever hear from me.

Actual post from ‘Debbie’

“There really is very little loyalty anymore. Everyone is out for themselves no matter the cost! Sad and disgraceful.”

#FML

Another from ‘Debbie’

So if this weekend wasn’t horrific enough I just got the last bit of wind taken out of my sail! #itsnevergoodenough

Poor ‘Debbie’

“Wondering if people took accountability for their own actions instead of blaming others for their dysfunction what this world would actually be like! #ownyourownshit”

oh ‘Debbie’

“broken hearts never heal when every day they’re broken more and more”

I have sufficient.

You’ll end up really disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. After all, not everyone has your heart.

I'm the pic of the plate and used silverware with tiny remnants of tonight's dinner splayed around the edges with the caption: "Delish! No one has the faintest idea of what I had or even where I ate this meal. My post has three likes from distant acquaintances.

Third paragraph in, and here it is:

[quote]Now I'm watching the ones who will have the time to read this post until the end. This is a little test, just to see who reads, and who shares without reading.

How much energy does it take to like someone's post? But so many of you can't even do that. Now I'm going to kill myself and it's all your fault. Also, I bet I won't even get one share.

I'm your frauish acquaintance who needs to post constantly about the agonizing pain in which she lives every day.

It just isn’t worth it anymore.

My heart is broken.

I post on Vaguebook because people depend on my posts and look forward to them as inspiration in their daily lives. But, everything I upload is vain and shallow, such as how I went through the long process of rebuilding my pool area, and, how involved I was in deciding the arrangement and location of the outdoor furniture and the chiminea.

I'm the oblique Stevie Nicks lyrics quoted in hopes of getting someone/anyone to ask, "What's wrong, hon?"

I'm vaguely the threatening. "I could simmer down but I'm better at being angry and shit." Posted while on probation.

I’m the Vaguebooker’s co-workers, trying to figure out if today’s angry post is about us

This little girl is suffering from stage 6 prostate cancer. 35% of you will just scroll. The rest one like=1 prayer.

Type “Amen” in the comments and watch what happens!

“You’ve got this!”

I'm the drunken rantings of an Eldergay from the Deep South. I whine about my FRAGILE heart being broken again. I ask my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ to forgive my sins.

I ask "Why can't anyone love me for me?" in hopes of the Frauen telling me what a catch I am, if only I were straight, and how I am too good a catch to be worrying about the trash (that I'm attracted to).

I post a Bible verse which is nonsensical but gets the message crossed that I am SAVED despite my sick homosexuality which only makes me sad.

I get belligerent and post a lot of VAGUE threats with lots of curse words along with plenty of Jesuses before I pass out drunk at the keyboard.

In the morning, I rush to delete everything from the night before.

The guy who got thousands of Facebook users to pray for the dog with the slice of ham on his face must be a DLer.

Debbie and Todd need to get together!

Debbie IS the female Todd, you’re right. By the way, those are real posts I pasted there. ‘Debbie’ (not real name but in that same genre) exists and if you follow her FB you’re in for a treat of drama.

Like this if you've ever been dumped.

I was friended by this fine lady in the Shenandoah Valley who is the personification of vaguebook, mainly because she doesn’t know how to express herself in full sentences. She only posts after having a few highballs, In order to air some long standing grievances about various relatives. She will darkly allude to terrible consequences coming the way of her enemies, and then a few concerned fraus will urge her to sit tight and that they will PM ASAP. It’s this big hillbilly soap opera going on year after year. I can’t look away, it’s like a window into another world.

One of my favorites are the fave Ellen pages with giveaways for cars, cash, houses, etc. If you like, share and comment, "done", one lucky commenter will win said prize.

I can't believe people are that fucking gullible.

The only way to show you love Jesus is to share. Ignore if you love Satan.

I'm a 5 year old with the cancer and bet no one will pray for me.

I bet you won't like or share this picture of a baby with Down's.

You spend thousands every day on Starbucks and makeup! Support my small business!! #herbalifebossbabe!!!

Mommy needs vodka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mommy has a potty mouth!!!!!! Wine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R77, not only are they gullible, they post their whole fucking sob story in the comments. As if anyone cares you're a single mother with no arms or legs and this money/prize would be suuuch a blessing!

We need a thread for Facebook cringe.

"My 1 month old just walked across the house to get my phone in order to take this picture of me posing and duckfacing!! She just loves to take pictures with my phone!!!!! #tinybutfierce

Some of you are NOT vaguing.

I have this acquaintance who posts shit like "At the hospital AGAIN 😫 This kid is giving me grey hairs lol" and I would unfriend her but it's like a sick sociological experiment watching the fraus flock to her posts with comments like "Hugs to Billy. Mummy, get yourself a wine!"

Then, the frau OP will write "it's so gross, I can barely look at it [the injury]. Don't know whether I should post or not 🙈" And it's like fucking chum in the ocean, her fellow fraus come biting and she gets an extra swell of attention.

Once she posted about her "precious J" winning some student award, and I quote "gets her brians from her Mumma." Her brians. Dumb fucking frau.

I’m the schizophrenia under the surface causing these posts.

A movie star, a president's sidepiece, a German and a baseball player.

A bisexual heartthrob, a bisexual heartthrob

on the cover of a magazine

a Hitchcock blonde, a sex symbol

picture of a beauty queen

3 incredible dancers on air

They had style, they had grace

a pin up girl gives good face

golden era female legends, we love you

ladies with an attitude, fellows that were in the mood

don't just stand there, lets get to it, strike a pose, there's noting to it

Vague

‘Debbie’

“I don’t know why I even bother with some people. I am DONE!”

Comments include things like “you’re real friends got your back, girl”, “we have to catch up soon”, “you ok???”, “you GOT this!!!” etc

If you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best!

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean their behavior was okay.

Le sigh. Then the hashtage #vaguebooking just so we all know for sure.

Oh, dear to my own typo! Should be hashtag.

All I can say is Karma is a bitch!

“Worst day ever!!!!”

“Bye!!!”

Don't like or share this, copy and paste it as your status.

I'm the guy who posts this, everyone secretly lols while posting sympathetic comments.

I AM the storm!

I’m the check-in at a hospital or other medical establishment, posted without comment or any additional context.

Stay tuned for big news!

I’m R95, later reassuring everyone that Madysonn simply did an incorrect flip in her gymnastics class and landed on her ankle wrong. Ice and ibuprofen is all that’s needed. “This is why mommy drinks wine!!!”

Blood is supposed to be thicker than water, but I found out today why that isn’t true!

No one can disappoint you like family. I need to learn that. Anyway — onward and UPWARD!

Jennifer is heartbroken

Please cut and paste the following and share with your friends. I don't know what will happen if you don't but if you're my friend, and I know who you are, then you will share as requested. Also, please let me know if you're coming to the BBQ Saturday. Please bring what you always bring. God only knows, right?

The killing of our children in our schools must STOP NOW.

Public Service Announcement: Please Please Please stop for school bus loading and unloading!! Kale-see was almost hit by a speeding car on her way to school this morning. I am mortified. Please everyone attend next week’s city council meeting to let them her our voice!

My brother Jonathon needs ALL your prayers right now.

Life has no meaning 😢

‘Debbie’ says:

“Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to let go.”

Gay men are just so horrible! I truly am a unicorn!

Can't get into it now, but: wish me luck!

^^^ we got you girl! Let’s try to get together soon!

Everytime I talk to you, I remember why I cut you out of my life

My heart needs protecting....and I’m the one that’s going to do it!

If anyone needs mental healthcare there are many resources out there. Please seek help.

‘Debbie’ is on a roll today. She needs to get a blog:

“I’d rather be friendly with people who are not the hero or the victim in every story they tell. I like people that admit they’re human.”

I saw a "great" vaguebook post today:

My circle is small. If you're in it, don't lose your spot by being a shady mother fucker.

Disappointed but not surprised.

Again life throws me a curveball 🤔

“There’s no dignity, loyalty, or class among some people!”

I don't bother with Facebook much anymore. I'm 43 though and quite frankly the people in my life are my age or older and the boring sadness of their lives just highlights that in my own. Don't get me started on the kids. I take a hiatus from mid-August to early-September during back to school frenzy.

However, I am most perplexed by Facebook stalkers. You know, the ones that never post or never comment, but reveal here and now that they are on and see what you and everyone else posts.

I find these types have the most issues, most insecurities, and the most to hide.

So, the oversharers and vaguesharers are preferable in my opinion.

I'm so unhappy with my life I post photos of other passengers on the train while traveling to my mundane job and then get fraus and vile queen's to destroy their appearance for the Lols. I'm never happy but post lots of photos of myself, glaring my teeth (like a smile but not) usually sat at a dining table.

queen's

glaring my teeth

usually sat a dining table

OH, DEAR

I'm the person you met once at a party 15 years ago who randomly keeps "waving" at you in Messenger, but never actually starts a conversation. If you have something to say, Diane, then say it.

These are excellent examples of why I left social media.

I wish I'd been proved wrong, but ...

R121 is Kevin Spacey

Over being nice and be there for people that don’t really want me in there life.

Just want to feel like I’m first to someone.

Let them judge you. Let them gossip about you. Let them misunderstand you

Their opinion is not your problem. Keep shining like you do

Sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone

No matter what I will never change to make someone else happy. If you don’t like the way I am, keep moving on.

I don't have time for fake friends anymore. Either be real or be gone

To blessed to be stressed.

My destiny just revealed itself 🙏

R131 you forgot to sign that

-Destiny

Pissed!

Alcohol is the worst! Help!!

I'm the profile pic changed daily with the exact downward angle that shows enough hair, face and tits to make a near 50-year old look presentable. Responses are always one word and exclamated. Beautiful! Nice! Hot! Sexy!

I'm the pic of the infant wrapped in tubes and gauze needing 1 like for some unclear reason and betting I will be ignored anyway.

It's funny how you bitches run around behind my back yet smile in my face. Sleep with one eye open!

I'm the Christian who attends a charismatic Evangelical church and gets pumped from the sermons/laying on of hands/speaking in tongues. "All things are possible with the LORD!! LORD thank you for the AMAZING triumph and GOOD NEWS today that has CHANGED MY LIFE COMPLETELY! All will be revealed VERY SOON!"

(The first 5 times I read this kind of status, I thought it referred to a new job or promotion or lottery win. I waited to hear an update with the life-changing news. After a while, I realized it was just stunting for the pastor/other church members reading it.)

This is it!

Whoo!

I am the birthday boy or girl on everyones friends list who is shilling for money for yet another hopeless cause

I am Mary G. I post my life as drama filled novellas that lose everyone after one sentence. No one pays any attention to me.

Don't get me started on the birthday fundraisers R140. "Bitch, I wasn't going to buy you anything anyway."

How selfish of you not want to save the the wild ponies in Zanzibar r142

You know what I’ll never understand? How some people are completely unashamed to admit that they care only about foreign ponies while our beautiful American children are literally being MURDERED by airborne peanut dust. Why is that? Why have they no shame?

And no, this isn’t about [italic]you.[/italic] Not everything is about [italic]you[/italic], okay??

It’s nice to see that everyone in this thread is having a grand time. No, really....I don’t begrudge you your happiness at all even if it does feel like rock salt, razor blades, and battery acid being rubbed to the road rash that is my heart. Oh, my heart. Honestly, I wish you all the best.

I’m leaving now. My phone, laptop, and iPad will all be turned off for the foreseeable future. DH, D’axxyn, and Kaiyleriegh-Olyvia have been ordered not to answer the door (Not that anyone would knock).

I’m sorry that I wasn’t good enough. I’m so sorry. Goodbye.

Truth: At the end of the day, I'd rather be excluded for who I include, than included for who I exclude.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

And as Tuesday comes to a close, I sit silently with my glass of Turning Leaf and smile knowingly.

Please don’t ask. Those who need to know, know.

" : / My face when someone asks if I'm a real redhead."

I'm the trumpster cheerleader! I LOVE trump.....I lost most of my 17 friends......

Dont expect people who cant be honest with themselves to be truthful, hiding behind a fake smile causes them more pain than you.

Maybe one day...

I know who will share this picture of this poor abused dog and who won't.

Spotted today:

"I stopped venting and started praying, because I don't need sympathy ... I NEED STRENGTH."

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I'm Cheryl's hysterectomy pictures.

“To anyone who has ever made me feel like my best wasn’t good enough....fuck you!!!”

Meme with large middle finger

This is for God to handle ... not me.

This is for God to handle ... not me.

This is for God to handle ... not me.

This is for God to handle ... not me. ...

Who needs GPS.

I'm Nick and I get to da point.

Vaguebooking's for pixies.

If someone doesn't believe in you during your worst, then don't let them celebrate with you during your best.

When you look at the world with new eyes, you see the world in whole different way. I'm glad to be doing what I'm doing, no matter what people say or think.

They are fighting their own Battle of blindness.

This is the most honest truth. So many forget to be happy with the little things. Always trying be happy with the big things.

If you can be happy with nothing. Just imagine what true happiness is like.

R161-163 come direct from a Todd-like individual in Florida

Facebook is for senior citizens.