CATS!

Already a thread honey

But this one shall be better and cattier!

Who the fuck is that? MICHAEL JACKSON???? No....too much nose.

Them cats look like actors in tights.

It's all CGI fur; very strange.

longer earlier pre-production thread!

I think we should use this thread because OP’s photo drives home the horror of it all.

I am in disbelief. This will destroy careers.

Twitter is on fire

Hold me, they look scary and mental!

I was hoping for CGI "actual" cats.

TRAINWREEEEEEEECK

I’m so mean, but I can’t wait to see this bomb at the box office. What a cheesy production. You can practically see the $$$$ in the actors’ eyes.

That was mildly traumatic.

Didn't Tom Hooper learn anything from Les Mis?

Look at the URL

What do you suppose Betty Lynn thinks of this?

I love it!

FUR IS MURDER!

Holy shit. This looks far worse than I ever imagined. God bless them. How did the proof of concept work they did lead them to the belief this would work?

I bet half the people bitching on this thread will still pay money to see it

Nope shall download when it comes out with all the Oscar screeners

Poor Big Driis. From prime Bond contender to... this.

“Trying to save Idris from the CATS trailer”

I guess you just have to get on-board with it, like sci-fi, fantasy etc....

Ok, it looks hideous.

Will there be shots of them pissing on things and shoving stuff off shelves?

Sure, r19.

I predict this Christmas everything the gays hold dear WILL BOMB!

James Corden is in this.

Why does he keep getting cast in musical adaptations?

Not only will I see this, but I know I'll cry. My BF will take me to see it, and roll his eyes in epic embarrassment.

R29: MARY!

Have you seen the audition videos?

That must be the worst rendition of "Memories" I've ever heard.

This looks truly awful.

JHud. Always so subtle.

It’s gonna be a huge CULT film in time to come.

I need to see this lol

I hope Taylor Swift licks her own butt.

They CGI all the costumes and taking away the sexiness the live dancers had on stage but don't bother to give them "cat's eyes"?

They are not so slowly preparing us for a time when actors will be obsolete. Yeah bitches and know they’re obsolete I mean seriously.

Cecilia Giménez for Best Makeup and Hairstyling

I can see several Razzie awards in this movie's future.

Wasn't Old Deuteronomy always a fat black man ? I guess Judi Dench is the British Scarlett Johansson

It would look a thousand times better if the actors were just filmed wearing the frickin cat costumes.

Much like Batman and Robin, it just boggles the mind that so many grown, accomplished, well-paid adults let this get so far.

R32 I agree, that is a terrible version, no emotion just screaming

The creepy, too-large human faces with CGI fur and ears is probably something Tom Hooper insisted on. He has to have his ill-advised gimmick, convinced that it makes for "realism" and oblivious to the face that there are good reasons no one has done it like that before.

Also, he has a tin ear.

But Tom Hooper isn't a director on the level of James Cameron who can just do whatever he wants. Surely someone had to approve this.

Mishter Mishtopheleesh.

The fact that the trailer was released as is makes it seem as if there was zero oversight.

Maybe this is some sort of Producers type thing where they figure they can make money by releasing a flop.

Who is in charge of Universal now, Donna Langley? Bitch needs to go.

Wow. I watched the trailer earlier this morning, went to work and have come back to a shit storm.

I actually thought it looked really good. I might admit, that I almost shed a tear. Yes, an almost tear.

Is there something wrong with me?

No, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. There's something alluring and strange about the whole thing. I'm certain they're still working on the CGI and it'll look much better in five months. I honestly think the film will surprise people. And it looks better than Tom Hooper's last two films. At least there's color.

[quote]Is there something wrong with me?

If you are Japanese, no.

If you are not Japanese, yes.

I usually like Jennifer Hudson but when she belts out Memory in the trailer, all I see is Effie in a cat suit. A bad one at that. She's got the same ugly cry face on as she did during AIATYING from Dreamgirls. I feel most embarrassed for her.

Yeah Hudson's Memory doesn't do much for me either.

Though like Kentucky Fried Chicken it's only something I can bear once every year or two.

I never will understand how this shitfest was ever the biggest thing in Broadway. It’s like a two and a half hour acid trip of awful music. Notice how throughout the entire two and a half minute trailer the ONLY song you hear is “Memory”? That’s because the rest of the two hours and twenty six minutes of the show are filled with songs nobody cares about. “Cats” was one of the first musicals I ever saw on Broadway. My parents took me in the early 90’s, and I can still see their faces sitting through the seemingly endless show like “what the fuck are we watching”?

However horrible CATS is and was, it can't compete with the awfulness of STARLIGHT EXPRESS. I think the only way this show would have worked on film is by animation...or maybe claymation!

I welcome the nightmares that will surely follow after watching this movie

Ian McKellen as a cat? sign me up

I saw a local production of Cats, and the song "Memories" was fucking amazing.

In this, it's nothing short of terrible. Painful even. Ugh.

No fucking way am I paying to see this train wreck .

I never could bring myself to see it, though I did manage to fast forward through the TV taping of the anniversary concert. It was as horrible as I imagined. However, as bored as I was of Memory within a couple of months of the show opening in NY, I did see Betty Buckley sing it at a benefit, very early in the run and was bowled over. She actually made me like that drivel...

It's almost 21/2 hours long? I watched the trailer and didn’t know those cat suits were CGI'd, I just thought they spent all the money on a big name cast and had to cut money somewhere, so they picked the costume budget. I've had trick or treaters come to the door in better homemade cat costumes. Edith Head is rolling in her grave.

For as little as it mattered, why didn’t they just put them in furry leotards? All that money and that’s basically what they look like...actors in furry leotards with disturbingly misshapen heads. Why?

So the white cat, Victoria, played by Francesca Hayward is heavily featured in the trailer making it look like the film is built around her. Is the film reworked from her point of view? And she is the one who gets the new song? But she's really a dancer?

Imagine this being the last movie one is on before one passes. Hmm.

Poor Dame Judi....

The musical ran for a long time, but it was never beloved. In all the years of its run, I only met one person who loved it.

Why bother making a movie?

That CGI makeup is creepy.

Like those people that like to fuck in animal costumes.

Ninety seconds into the trailer I had already texted my psychiatrist and told her I needed to schedule an emergency session despite her strict "No screaming about movie trailers" rule. Whatever, Dr. Tuttle, just charge me extra.

How do I feel about the Cats trailer? How do you think I feel? Betrayed. Bewildered. I am trying to process. Dr. Tuttle says that I will experience the five stages of grief as I let go of my former life before I saw the Cats trailer. Let's go through them together.

Personally, I blame that raving anti-Semite T.S. Eliot for the whole thing.

That the studio is using that still of Jennifer Hudson at r68 as their main pic tells you they have no idea how freaky and off-putting this is.

Why are the perspectives so off, the door, the bed is huge compared to the cats on it. it looks bizarre. Looks like a hairy "Land Of The Giants".

Even if they had used cheaply made cat puppets like Salem in the 90s Sabrina, it would have been better than this.

I'm hoping this bombs, if only because if it turns out to be a hit we will have Dogs: The Musical by Christmas 2022, followed by a litany of animal musicals.

I smell OSCAR!

Why couldn't Hudson's character be a nice black Persian? She looks like a sewn-together patchwork of five dead cats.

Found this frightening tidbit on Wikipedia:

In popular culture Madame Tussauds New York features a wax figure of Grizabella that sings "Memory".[55]

HORRIBLE version of Memory. The key change is awful -- it ruins the best song in the show.

Fallen right into the Uncanny Valley and will never get out again. Might find cult status in a few years, though.

Tracey Ullman would play Dane Judi urinating on the carpet and shitting in a giant sandbox.

Steven Spielberg is the executive producer of this crap.

I’m going to see it again and again.

I'm telling you if my cat came home with red lipstick on I'd just be fuming.

Spielberg bought the rights decades ago. He was going to make an animated movie. Only his credit remains.

An animated film with the famous voices would have been less horrifying.

That just may be the worst movie EVER made.

Cat = DOG

You have to feel bad for the actors... they had no clue it would be this bad.

R86 Surely they saw the show on stage?

R87 you missed the point, which was about how bad they'd make them LOOK.

R88 Honey, the look just as stupid, in the body suits and leg warmers, on stage, as they look here, with their fur and ass tales

I agree, who is gonna pay money to see this utter trash?

Looks hideous.

" ass tales "

Tales of my ass!

It’s a GROWER.

So all this cgi should make them Oscar ineligible right? There’s got to be some line between when a performance falls off into animation more than acting and this looks like it.

[quote] So the white cat, Victoria, played by Francesca Hayward

So they turned an African-British ballerina into a WHITE cat?

They put ‘white-face’ on her? Isn’t that literal white-washing?

And where are the Asians in this? They could have stuck a few asian minorities in there as Siamese cats.

R96 The siamese number get cut in London

Is it true Memory was originally meant to be used in Sunset Boulevard?

Jellicle cats! Testicle cats! Jellicle! Jellicle!

Flatulant cats! Hailballing cats! Jellicle Vaginal Abdominal cats!

[quote]They could have stuck a few asian minorities in there as Siamese cats.

Been there, done that.

I will probably see the movie as I have never seen the play/musical. However, I love the song Memory. Jennifer Hudson's version is bombastic, removing the melancholy, melodic timbre the song deserves. Mad TV would make a caricature parody of Jennifer, singing bombastic versions of Mary Had A Little Lamb, Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and on and on.

^^^lol! Keep going I want more!

Wow, who knew that Hollywood has some furries in high places? That's the only way I could think of why this was greenlit andcast with so many high profile actors in the first place. Either this is some validation ploy for furries or another step in Hollywood mocking its own audience "you guys watch any crap, don't you? You peasants!".

[quote] Tracey Ullman would play Dane Judi urinating on the carpet and shitting in a giant sandbox.

While screaming: I'm a national treasure!

I work in the film industry as a makeup artist- when I saw the trailer with some of my crew (including costumes), we were all aghast at how it looks. It shows that you need proper makeup/hair/costumes instead of CGI'ing the whole dreck. They really could have gotten fun and creative with practical and maybe get noms for makeup/costumes/production design.

And JHud screeching, "Memories" didn't help.

My prediction is that it will be an embarrassing bomb in the short-term and acquire cult status in the long term.

Honestly, I think it'll do very well.

It looks very unsettling in a deepfake kind of way.

What do you need a fat girl in a catsuit for? When you've got me? Me! Sissy Boodles!

2. So clearly this is a town for cats, created by cats—hence the Milk Bar. But what kind of milk are they drinking?

3. Cow milk? Do cows exist in this world? How would cats, which weigh eight to 10 pounds on average, be able to domesticate cows, which weigh—[Googles]—roughly 1,600 pounds? Or … uh … are they drinking cat milk?

4. If they’re drinking cat milk, why would they need a bar for that? Isn’t that kind of fucked up?

I keep waiting for Alex and his droogs to show up at the milk bar. That and pretty much that alone would make me buy a ticket to this.

"My prediction is that it will be an embarrassing bomb in the short-term and acquire cult status in the long term."

A really good trainwreck can be far more entertaining than a film that's good or good-ish… but this one is just fucking disturbing to look at!

I think I'm just going to keep an eye on the trainwreck in progress, and not see the actual film. Because, eew.

For the thousandth time, the song is called "Memory," not "Memories."

Thanks.

Memories!

All alone in the moonlights!

I thought this was a joke but it's a real movie!

Cats with human noses.

They need to add prominent cat anuses on their butts.

R115 it would be a real horrorshow.

They will re-release it with subtitled lyrics as a sing-along "experience," as 'The Sound of Music' and 'Bohemian Rhapsody' producers/distributors have done. Costumes encouraged! Bring the kitties!

Can't wait for the fan edit where they add tits and asses.

R125 ....I never miss a T.S. Eliot singalong

Did Ouisa and Flan get their roles as extras?

I'm waiting to see Sir Ian in his cat CGI, just to twist the knife deeper.

On Vicious Ian proposed to Derek (Jacoby) in a cat costume during a dance lesson.

R129, this is from R114's link:

Thanks, r131, I don't mind it as much on him. I suppose because he's 200 years old anyway, or maybe he works it better but Hudson looks 10x worse, in my opinion.

Of course I do have the world's biggest soft spot for Sir Ian so there's that.

Jennifer Hudson makes it sounds like CATS! Screeching caterwauling by an ugly creature in the night.

And I am telling' you, I'm not purring...

I keep waiting for Titus Andromedon to strut through one of those scenes.

R132, regarding your big soft spot for Ian McKellan.

TMI !!!

I do think it's distracting that they don't have cat anuses. From some angles, that's really what you notice most.

I had every intention of going to see this film. However, after seeing Hudson's cat face, looking hideously diseased, I won't go. I have enough nightmares.

Ins-purr-ation!

My cat stretches frequently and lifts her tail to present hole. Is that choreographed in the movie, too?

"They need to add prominent cat anuses on their butts. "

And prominent cat scrotums on the men.

^ Now that is something the whole family can enjoy!

^^^ won’t that make the castrated cats feel inferior?

And to think we could have had Barbra Streisand in Gypsy over this cat piss.

Meow:

^ tape of Glenn's "lost" audition.

Why doesn't Derulo or idris have THAT costume, R142

Is that Lady Gaga at r146?

Can we agree that "Memories" Is ALW's best song? I think that song will be the real draw for the movie. People find it irresistible.

Yes. The light the corners of my mind!

R151, I always thought the lyric was "like the corners of my mind."

R150 I dunno, maybe Love Changes Everything?

R150 Tell Me On A Sunday

I have never even heard of either of those songs, r153 and r154.

...do you have pubic hair?

It’s such a nice show to take grandma to.

No thanks! You can tell this is going to be an ultra PC movie with SJW propaganda (i.e., making Old Deuteronomy female and Victoria the white cat played by a biracial woman in white face). If there are two things SJWs hate are whites and males!

Oh fuck off right-wing bigoted moron at R158.

They should have cast an older woman as Grizabella. it looks odd to have Ian McKellen and Judi Dench in the film who are actually old and then have Grizabella played by a young woman. (although I read on Broadway world Deuteronomy has already had his nine lives so that is why he isn't the one to get picked for a new life. I always wondered that. Pick yourself old cat!)

So if someway in hell this does well, will Phantom be far behind?

they already made a movie of Phantom

Tell Me on a Sunday has a nice score, less bombastic than most of ALW. It's an obscure show since it's just one-woman/one-set.

This one comment I read somewhere made me LOL: why’d they make JHud look like she’s allergic to cats.

I wonder if Streisand was offered the movie. She could really sing that song pretty well back in the day.

Babs would never do an 'ensemble' feature!

Those costumes are horrific and will ruin the movie. I can't believe the studio approved this.

They had to cut the scene of Jennifer Hudson taking a shit in a litter box to avoid an NC-17.

R168 They also had to cut the endless ass licking.

Apparently Sir Ian took the direction very literally and Dame Judi was quite put out

R167 I'm confused, are they costumes? Didn't they just wear body suits with sensors and the rest was added digitally? That's why I wondered at what point it becomes animation? They would do well to enter it as best animated feature, it would stand out as unique and might garner votes.

Yes, it's odd. They're not really costumes; they're CGI.

[quote]I wonder if Streisand was offered the movie. She could really sing that song pretty well back in the day.

Do you really think that Barbra would take a movie role that required her to be in a furry cat costume?

What if it was a white costume?

^^^ Only for black ballerinas.

R168 sounds painful since they don't even have CGI assholes to shit.

It's a mess and will become a cult legend. It is already.

R176 I agree and I actually can't wait for December. I'm totally gonna watch it for shits and giggles. And to be weirded out.

I will most definitely not be in a sober state when I do, R177, but will avoid hallucinogens for obvious reasons.

It will be double-headered at repertory cinemas with 'The Apple.'

This will make The Chorus Line movie look like a classic.

R170, whatever they are, costumes or CGI, they're hideous. They're creepily sexual. I don't think that's the look they were going for. They best costumes/CGI are for the characters James Corden and Judy Dench play. They don't look like "cat"suits with fur on them.

R181 I think that's because they seem to be the only "clothed" cats? Judy has a fur coat and James some kind of tux? The worst on the other hand is probably Rebel Wilson, since her weird furry boobs jiggle the most lmao

Grabbing popcorn

I agree, r182. Rebel Wilson looking so awful just about summarizes this entire awful production.

.....

The Cats trailer killed Hal Prince

At first I laughed, R186, and then I thought about it. Probably did.

CATSH!

[quote]whatever they are, costumes or CGI, they're hideous. They're creepily sexual.

They are supposed to be sexy. The stage was full of beautiful dancer bodies in spandex. The CGI fail to be sexy.

So after the splash of the trailer, nothing? Shouldn’t this movie be building up momentum until Christmas Day? What about the new Oscar ready song, I thought it would be released by now? What is it, who is it by, is it a TSwift original? Have they just abandoned it because it’s so bad? So many questions, where is James Corden to explain it all?

From the Broadway thread....

Rumor they are furiously redoing the CGI since the trailer was destroyed.

I saw the very disturbing and strange and disorienting CATS! trailer this weekend. Really odd. I couldn't articulate afterwards. CATS! got my tongue.