CATS! THE MOVIE!

that looks so fucking terrible

Actually, it looks like it just might work. Very interested.

They made a Cats movie before Wicked?! WTF?!

Yeah, I'm on the positive side of this. There's something visually addictive about it... like I can't stop watching the trailer. I think certain shots look terrible, and that Rebel Wilson moment was... awful, but I think they'll have time to touch up the CGI by December.

Jennifer Hudson is one ugly pussy and can't sing Memories for shit. Should have been Judi Dench singing it.

I didn’t enjoy J-Hud’s rendition of Memory. Is there really an audience for this? Isn’t Cats a punchline at this point?

when does Starlight Express come out?

Why must this be inflicted on us.

CATS is a majorly shitty show.

They have two fat jokes, it's a hit!!

The footage of Jennifer Hudson bellowing "TOUCH ME" looks like her face has been stuck on someone else's head.

Kitty litter

The human-like bodies creep me the fuck out.

R12 What is up with Rebel Wilsons titties??

Hudson went to Viola Davis' School for Snot Acting in hopes of getting that second Oscar.

Oh God, it looks abysmal.

I sniff OSCAR!

This will be a record-setting box office bomb.

That is some really dodgy CGI LOL!

Stanky!

Taylor Swift?!

Judi Dench needs to fire her agent

rob delaney @robdelaney

The Judi Dench cat just took a shit in my “normal” cat’s litter box the size of a thanksgiving turkey! I’m calling the police

6:04 PM · Jul 18, 2019

Why would Judi Cat be wearing a fur coat?

Isn't that a little Jame Gumb of her?

[quote]They made a Cats movie before Wicked?! WTF?!

Universal Pictures has set its “Wicked” movie for the Christmas season with a release date of Dec. 22, 2021.

Stephen Daldry will direct and Marc Platt will produce. The three-time Tony Award-winning stage musical was adapted from Gregory Maguire’s novel by Winnie Holzman and three-time Oscar-winning composer/lyricist Stephen Schwartz, who are also collaborating on the screenplay adaptation.

“Wicked” was produced on Broadway by Platt, Universal Stage Productions, the Araca Group, Jon B. Platt, and David Stone. The movie version will open five days after Fox launches its “Avatar 3” along with an untitled Disney live-action movie, and an untitled Warner Bros. animated feature.

The film adaptation of 2003’s “Wicked” is expected to include two new songs. Cast members have not yet been announced.

“Wicked” tells the story of the 1939 movie “The Wizard of Oz” and L. Frank Baum’s classic 1900 novel “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” from the perspective of the witches of Oz. It surpassed “A Chorus Line” last year to become the sixth-longest-running Broadway musical of all time, and has grossed $1.3 billion over the past 15 years.

I presume Ariana Grande will play Elphaba. Maybe Dove Cameron as Glinda.

Could Liza Minnelli play Madame Morrible in Wicked? That would be a full-circle moment considering that her mother played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.

Uh, seriously?

CGI has no place in dance sequences. Dance's appeal lies in witnessing the virtuosity of real humans.

WTF? Why are these creepy looking cats jumping around on giant sets?

[quote]Why would Judi Cat be wearing a fur coat?

I guess most people won't get the "callback" casting of Judi Dench in this film. She was supposed to be the original Grizabella in the London production, but broke her knee during rehearsals and thus was replaced by Elaine Paige. I'm guessing Judi's fur coat is a nod to Griz's original costume.

The British ballerina as the white kitten looks fantastic

JHud singing Memories is devoid of emotion.

Jhud's makeup/CGI combo is APPALLING. She looks like a Neanderthal.

As always, James Corden is insufferable.

Have people started bitching yet about biracial ballerina Francesca Hayward wearing "whiteface" as Victoria?

Cats is one of the worst musicals of all time.

r26

I never knew Dolores Gray played Madame Morrible!?

r33, this looks like it will be one of the worst movies of all time, so they did justice to the musical.

I don't understand why cats wouldn't have fur on their face instead of a caucasian or black complexion in the first place. Everything about this is so weird and gross.

Everyone looks like they’ve been run through some shitty, cat-themed face swap app.

^ I understood this reference!

I hope they CGI Rebel Wilson's big sloppy tits out.

Of course they were going to make it into a movie. I enjoy the musical on stage, and never considered they would even attempt to translate it to film. I think I really want to see Idris Elba and Jason Derullo. Jason Derullo looks even sexier than usual in cat makeup.

If they can turn actors into cats with CGI, then they can make Barbra Streisand a mother of young children in Gypsy.

Neely O'Morrible.....

Andrew Lloyd Webber is the worst composer of his generation.

ALW is DEAD to me!

Will they remake A Chorus Line?

Why didn't they make JHud sing until she wasn't flat? Who decided on that fucking atrocious arrangement?

[quote] “Wicked” movie for the Christmas season with a release date of Dec. 22, 2021.

And West Side Story - The Movie has a December 2020 release date. So movie musicals are no longer dead?

:Who the HELL would want to see this thing?

The people who saw TWO Mamma Mia movies.

R48, I'm a middle-aged gay guy, and I will enjoy this. I know it's not great art, but are we really expecting to see that in 2019?

The trailer scared the shit out of me. Creepy as hell. Not everything needs to be cgi'd.

LOL

At this moment, this is the current description listed under the category of "Premise" on the film's wikipedia page:

[quote] Over the course of a single night, a tribe of cats called the Jellicles make what is known as "the Jellicle choice" and decide which cat will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life. Yes, this is really the synopsis.

No one will ever come close to matching Streisand's version of Memory. ALW said it was perfection and could not be topped.

Get her the FUCK out of this thread!

I'm bringing kitty litter to throw at the screen.

Horrible.

I realize it's not a true indicator of quality or public interest, but the trailer has more dislikes than likes. That can't be a good sign? I still don't understand why they opted to prioritize this over Wicked, which was originally planned for this December.

Is it too soon to put it to sleep?

This pussy stinks.

They should have found a part for Betty Buckley. Not Grizabella singing Memories, but something,

I assume we’re getting the rapping Rum Tum Tugger in lieu of the classic one. I loved Tyler Hanes in the role and enjoyed the pop version from the early eighties. I like the way the company introduces the Rug Tum Rapper before he raps shown in a recent bootleg. I am not sure I appreciate the change.

The original...

Betty Buckley - Memory (1983 Tony Awards)

[quote]r55 I'm bringing kitty litter to throw at the screen.

Meow!

Shawn Mendes better play Fiyero in Wicked.

The original was Elaine Paige, not Betty Buckley.

R65 The original was Judi Dench, not Elaine Paige

No, it wasn't. Dench had to bow out. She never faced and audience. Nor did ever sing "Memory", not even in a rehearsal room.

*never faced an audience

R67 Still the original and first

Elaine Page appeared in the original London/West End production in 1981.

Betty Buckley appeared in the original Broadway/NYC production in 1982.

[quote]r65 The original was Elaine Paige, not Betty Buckley.

We're in America.

You bring your Elaine Page over here, she's going in a detention center.

R70 And Judi was the original Grizibella

Well, Judi is in the movie. Problem solved.

R71. We are not in America. We are on the World Wide Web.

We're everywhere.

I was lucky enough to get to see Cats on Broadway in 1984, with Terrence Mann. He kind of ruined all other Rum Tum Tuggers for me.

Judi Dench

In 1981, Dench was due to play Grizabella in the original production of Cats, but was forced to pull out due to a torn Achilles tendon, leaving Elaine Paige to play the role.

Tom Hooper is such an overrated director. Spielberg and Daldry will do lightyears better with WSS and Wicked.

It is too bad Dench was never approached for the original...

I think it looks OK. Better than all that superhero shit that takes up so many cinema screens.

The movie looks good.

I saw the Broadway version twice. The first time I thought it was mesmerizing, great, clever, fascinating. The second time I saw it I thought, "What the hell did I like about this stupid show?"

"Memories" is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

R64, Fiyero has to be black. He was black in the book. And all the SJWs will be pissed if he is white washed.

Saw both the original London and Broadway versions--preferred the London version and Elaine Paige brought the house down, but Betty Buckley's was the more interesting, subtle (yeah, I know, we're talking "Cats")--she pulled the audience to her instead of letting it all hang out. She seemed much more broken and fragile as Grizabella and, thus, more affecting.

And both of them will be miles better than J. Hudson--didn't anybody manning the sound booth notice that she's flat on her big swoopy note in the trailer?

Exactly R83 see R46.

This is going to be a Razzie winner.

Will they rework the script like what happened with the Hair adaptation?

Cats is similarly structured to Hair, but Hair is about hippies instead of cats.

Their butts. hahahahaaa

This thing has one decent song in it, and Hudson sings it like she's auditioning for American Idol again. Given the movie is basically a cartoon, why not get Elaine Paige or Betty Buckley to do the part? They at least know how to sing the music.

There are some stories that work far better on the stage than on film. This is one of them.

......"Cats, it about cats, Hal"

'And we never spoke of it again"

This looks like stinkier shit than the stuff I cleaned out of my cat’s litter box.

A CULT in the making.

Looks like ALW is about to have his third shitty movie. Phantom is unwatchable and Evita is only bearable when gorgeous Antonio is onscreen. I have a fondness for the movie of Jesus Christ Superstar, even though it is SO 1970s at times. ALW wrote in his book that he disliked the JCS movie because he wasn’t asked to participate and he didn’t like what André Previn did to his music. I happen to like Previn’s work in the film, and director Norman Jewison did a nice job overall.

Can't wait to see it

Jennifer Hudson's over-belting is unbearable.

Move over, Hudson and let a real singer do her thing.

Whys does Grizabella have to be female?

Grizabello.

R96 Haha, she didn't even let the score play out. Rude.

Watching the clip of RumTum Tiger makes me wonder what the cast of the original production thought. It looks so laughable and odd and stupid. No one could have predicted that it would become a huge success. In rehearsals, I would have thought it would be a big huge flop.

Missed opportunity here. Grizabella should have been Babs.

We have the vocal track she made when she was at the height of her immense vocal power. And now we have the aging woman, with her best days behind her, world weary and staring into her own personal oblivion. Her farewell to film combined with one of her greatest popular hits.

If they can fake cat hair, they can fake the singing - with the star's own singing - and create cinematic history.

Oh for chrissakes, Mewsette was the original Grizabella!

Of course, Judy Garland would have been the best Grizabella.

And she would have been the best Rose.

And the best Dolly.

R103 is peak gay.

You bet! If they CGI'd the cat hair, they just should have CGI'd Judy, too.

No, r103, the other Judy would have been the best Dolly.

Judy Canova? Judy Carne? What other Judy?

Judge Judy?

Judy Collins?

duh

[quote]—best quote on this shit show

Close r90, but John Guare wins that title, from “6 Degrees...”

[quote]”Aeschylus did not invent theatre to have it end up a bunch of chorus kids wondering which of them will go to Kitty Kat heaven.”

Ad Week is running an interesting article titled: Cats Movie Trailer Unites the Internet Under One Shared Message: ‘WTF Did I Just Watch?’

I've tried to post a link, but DL isn't taking it.

All I have to say is, "Gurlina, you in danger!"

Ouisa weighs in!

Hudson has an Oscar for a song performance. It's clear why she was cast as Grizabella...

They needed a STAR for Grizabella and Hudson is not a star. There's a reason why she never had a successful recording career. She's now a coach on The Voice.

I hope Marc Platt, who's producing Wicked, doesn't try to cast his son Ben as Fiyero. Didn't Ben play Fiyero on Broadway?

No. His other son Jonah played Fiyero.

Watch Ben get cast as Boq.

It's interesting how audiences are so fickle with anthropomorphic characters and will immediately accept some without question and vehemently disapprove of others. Comic book movies and Sci-fi films that pack theaters are filled with goofy looking, overly CGI'd human-creature hybrids, but add singing and dancing to the mix and it seems to be a bridge too far for some.

It is true that Barbra Streisand sang "Memory" the best. Her version is beautifully understated. Everybody else I've heard singing it shrieks, wails, moan and carries on in hysterical fashion; they think they're "emoting", I guess. Judging from that trailer Jennifer Hudson is no exception. Her singing is wretchedly overblown.

And not in a good way, r117.

[quote]It's interesting how audiences are so fickle with anthropomorphic characters and will immediately accept some without question and vehemently disapprove of others. Comic book movies and Sci-fi films that pack theaters are filled with goofy looking, overly CGI'd human-creature hybrids, but add singing and dancing to the mix and it seems to be a bridge too far for some.

None of us has ever seen a Gungan or a Porg or a Hulk before. We accept what we see in those movies. But we’ve all seen cats and, um, these ain’t cats. They’re also not human. They’re too much of both and not enough of either.

R82, Fiyero has always been white in the stage productions of Wicked. Pay attention

[quote]It is true that Barbra Streisand sang "Memory" the best. Her version is beautifully understated.

The problem with Babs' version is all those 1980s synthesizers. At the end when the music goes down the scales, they should have used a piano or a violin, not a synthesizer.

And Babs has trouble with the low notes. She really scrapes bottom on "Every streetlamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning" You can hear that she's going very carefully in that section because she's unsure of herself on those low notes. She should have called in Kay McClelland who has the most beautiful low notes of any female vocalist ever.

[quote]Fiyero has always been white in the stage productions of Wicked. Pay attention

[quote]Fiyero has always been white in the stage productions of Wicked. Pay attention

[quote]Have people started bitching yet about biracial ballerina Francesca Hayward wearing "whiteface" as Victoria?

And it begins...

Choreography by Andy "Hamilton" Blankenbuehler.

Must we Lin-Manuelify EVERY freaking musical?!

Andy choreographed the Cats revival as well.

It's weird that we're not getting any news about In the Heights. Has it even started production?

Yes, R127, it started production over a month ago and wraps at the end of August.

[quote]r102 Oh for chrissakes, Mewsette was the original Grizabella!

[quote]r103 Of course, Judy Garland would have been the best Grizabella. And she would have been the best Rose. And the best Dolly.

Judy, Judy, Judy ... !!

Stewie just saw the "Cats" trailer.

I am so tired of Judi Dench. Is she has overrated in the UK as she is here in the States?

I wonder how she'd have got around that song in the UK version? She doesn't QUITE have the voice to sell that song.

Although, Betty B said in an interview that [italic]Memory[/italic] was a replacement song for one that didn't work. Maybe they put that song in when Janis Paige (or whatever her loser name is) replaced Dench, and they realized they had someone with more musical experience.

From the way I understand it, Memory was not in the Musical when Dench was to be in it.

[Quote] I wonder how she'd have got around that song in the UK version? She doesn't QUITE have the voice to sell that song.

The song was added for Elaine Paige. Dench would never have been given the song to sing.

Glad to see no one else seems to like J. Hudson's "Memory." More than anything, it is what stuck out in the trailer the most. It is one of my favorite musical numbers of all time, and her version is the worst I have heard. And, I have seen amateur productions. I don't care for the look of the characters, either. But, I could put up with that if the singing was decent.

Hell, since it is mainly CGI, Susan Boyle would have been a better candidate for the role. After all Grizabella is supposed to be an older cat, looking back. Plus, Susan looks like someone who has probably spent enough time with cats that she knows how they behave, better than the others.

The movie should have been animated, with celeb voices. Fat, furry cats dancing around wouldn't look as disquieting as the alien, lycra'd lynx/starved-ballerinas they came up with by going the human performer route.

Oh for chrissakes, r132, I woulda given that number verve to spare!

I don't know what will be settled upon for the final cut, but Jennifer Hudson performed the song earlier this year at Cinema Con and she was terrific.

It was good to hear it from a different perspective. The woman has an astonishing sound. She's way too good for the cheezie song.

Jennifer Hudson has no idea how to sing "the cheezie song", as evidenced from that appalling trailer. She does what almost everyone who sings it does: makes an overwrought mess of it.

That was beautiful at r138. But in the trailer it wqs soulless.

Was “Zoobilee Zoo” influenced by Cats?

I’ll never forget the commercials for regional live performances of “Cats!”

One hefty fan gleefully bragged that she saw the musical FIVE times.

My dad shouted out, “That broad needs a hobby!”

Good times...

[quote]My dad shouted out, “That broad needs a hobby!”

....or to get laid.

Now *this* is Live Action at its most creative and daring.

The lyrics to MEMORY are kind of contradictory. I’ve never understood “If you touch me, you’ll understand what happiness is,” because this beat up old broad hardly seems “happy”.

Or does she mean she’s a great fuck?

I assume she means that whoever touches her will see how happy that makes her and will understand the emotion's true meaning.

R100, the Rum Tum Tiger song was the best song for me when I watched Cats on Broadway as a teen. I can’t remember who the singer was (it was around Xmas 1998). But he stood out because he acted it with a raw sexual energy, like a force of nature.

It’s also a very accurate song. Cats are very obstinate and exasperatingly bipolar.

[quote] Comic book movies and Sci-fi films that pack theaters are filled with goofy looking, overly CGI'd human-creature hybrids, but add singing and dancing to the mix and it seems to be a bridge too far for some.

Well, R116, CGI anthropomorphic creature Jar Jar Binks didn’t sing or dance - and audiences disliked him with a passion.

Whereas non-CGI Chewbacca just growled and behaved like a barely sentient silly brown bear - and he’s iconic with viewers.

Anthromorphised CGI creatures are better left to be villains (Thanos, Gollum, etc). Because overly CGI’d human-creature hybrids often come across as ugly and scary.

*Anthropomorphised

What is the deal with Barbra's music video for Memory? Did she throw a diva tantrum and refuse to record an actual proper 80s video for it?

It is stock footage of parties in the 30s with Barbra at the mike, wearing a scarf and winter hat like she is cold. I guess for her voice.

It is so beautiful how she sings it though. Very moving.

Memory is an amazing song. It seems to be about loss and fear but also about hope and acceptance.

[quote]I can’t remember who the singer was (it was around Xmas 1998).

It was probably Stephen Bienskie.

Thanks, R151. I love how DL’s sage Broadway patrons know all these fun, obscure details. Is there a video of him in the role? I tried to find a clip to check if he’s the one, but nothing on YouTube it seems.

[quote] I didn’t enjoy J-Hud’s rendition of Memory. Is there really an audience for this? Isn’t Cats a punchline at this point?

Different strokes...

Jennifer Hudson's voice gives me chills. I am so ready for a big soulful voice to slay "Memory." I remembering buying the Barry Manilow 45 of "Memory" and I've heard every version of it since -- each one more vanilla than the last. I always wanted Aretha or Gladys to record it. I love Barbra's. I love what I've heard of J-Hud's so far.

Why did they make Hudson so hideous looking, her head looks off too like they superimposed it on a different person.

R71 snatched that wig. Elaine Page is persona non grata in this discussion.

Yeah, J Huds face looks like they couldn't fit it all on the character so they just lopped off 3 inches on both sides.

[quote] I am so ready for a big soulful voice to slay "Memory."

“Slay”? Are you Generation Y / Z, R153?

@r157. No, Granny. Judy Garland was "slaying" too, you just didn't know it way back then.

I remember seeing the commercials for the broadway show as a kid and always finding it creepy.

Lol, Garland was “slaying” in the 40s / 50s, I wasn’t born in the inter-war period, veteran @ R158.

And I never saw it that widely used in literature or plays from that time. When did, say, Jack Kerouac ever use it?

Come to think of it, when did Garland ever use it?

Judging from the trailer Jennifer Hudson doesn't "slay" the song "Memory." She strangles it, stomps it, maims it, crushes it. The poor song is left mangled and choking on its own blood, battered to death.

Your response is more over the top than her rendition. Calm your asses.

[quote]r162 The poor song is left mangled and choking on its own blood, battered to death.

Well, really, it lived a lot longer than it deserved, so...

[quote]r145 The lyrics to MEMORY are kind of contradictory. I’ve never understood “If you touch me, you’ll understand what happiness is,” because this beat up old broad hardly seems “happy”. Or does she mean she’s a great fuck?

[quote]r146 I assume she means that whoever touches her will see how happy that makes her and will understand the emotion's true meaning.

Okay - that makes a little more sense. It still seems like kind of round-about lyric, if that's what it's trying to say, tho. Her song says she remembers being happy, she remembers being beautiful in a beautiful life ... but none of that is tied to being touched at one time, or being with others, even.

I know I'm being really literal, but that song has never really "said" anything to me. The lyrics are kind of a blur.

^^ sorry - she doesn't say she remembers a [italic]"beautiful life."[/italic] That's just Babs doing her usual FUCKERY with rewriting others' songs.

Concept art for Spielberg's animated version. If only!

It was a missed opportunity not casting Julie Newman as Grizabella. She is the original Catwoman. Only she can sing Memory the way it was intended.

Eartha Kitt was my favorite Cat Woman. Did she ever record Memory? I can well imagine her voice cutting right through all the bombast in that silly song.

Most people I know preferred Eartha Kitt to Julie Newman.

oh dear

Julie NEWMAR,you dumb clucks. By the way, she was the best Catwoman; long, sleek, gorgeous. Eartha Kitt looked like a caricature of a feline; Julie Newmar looked a lot more "cat-like."

Be a pussy....

There's only one pussy that matters to me.

R172 Julie Newmar played the character like a character... Kitt played it like a caricature.

They definitely should have animated it. Its main audience is going to be kids, who will be too scared to see those creepy human-cat hybrids.

R175 Cause Batman was Shakespeare and needed reality

I’m intrigued by the movie, but I won’t see it if it doesn’t include “Growltiger’s Last Stand.”

I don't think any kids are going to want to see this. I don't think ANYBODY is going to want to see this, except out of morbid curiosity or because they have warm, fond memories of seeing "Cats" in a theater many years ago.

I suspect it'll do very well in China.

Why, R180? Because it will remind them of their dinner?

Did anyone say either, R177?

r179 Taylor Swift has a pull just like how Beyonce is pulling Lion King numbers

The Lion King doesn't look like it will give kids nightmares, there is a difference.

R183, Beyonce has nothing to do with it. The movie would have been huge even if Shirley Hemphill had voiced Nala.

I had no idea that Amy Sedaris voices one of the characters in the movie.

[quote]r167 Concept art for Spielberg's animated version. If only!

Oh, that looks so beautiful! I would actually go see that.

Real humans dancing around as cats in lycra has always been off-puttingly ridiculous. The whole show could only be worse if it were on roller skates ...

Who is Amy Sedaris in it?

R186 Actually, if they had gone with the original humans in lyrca 1980s look, and just made it a very stylized film, it would have looked less frightening than this CGI, mess.

"Susan Boyle would have been a better candidate for the role. "

Oh, 135, thank god you're not a casting director. She's practically autistic and can't speak like a normal person, let alone act! And she has a face for radio.

So, in other words, she’s perfect for CATS

The twist is that Scarlett Johansson plays all the cats.

As a rule, the dancers in the stage show had bangin' bods, clad in that clingy lycra shit.

R189 As I said, it is mainly CGI so her face has nothing to do with it. Also, I find actual cats to act like autistic people so it would be a good fit.

Or, they could just go back to the old Hollywood practice of casting an actor in the role and having their singing dubbed by a better singer.

CATS has been around a long long time. It opened when I was in college and being from New York it was hard to ignore its existence. I've never listened to the soundtrack but I did have many theater friends in college who sang the songs around me and of course Betty Buckley was on every show possible singing "Memory".

Most commenters around the interweb talking shit about this trailer with comments like:

[quote]I actually didn't think this looked so bad. Then again, I've always been a huge fan of horror movies...

[quote]Everybody was exited about all of the good movies planned for 2019, we didn't expect how many bad ones we would get.

[quote]"This Christmas, you will believe" Yes, I will believe that god has deserted us for good

[quote]Its a cat-astrophe in the making....I know I know....I'll see meow-n way out.

[quote]I must revoke my proclamation of yesterday that I would absolutely be seeing this. The trailer is a monstrosity, the original 1980s theater make-up was more feline and the dance moves shown in the trailer reflect absolutely nothing even remotely cat-like... its going to be an abomination.

I'll see this because I grew up with big colorful musicals that showcased incredible talent and creative movie making. From this trailer it looks like Hooper tried to bring us some of that. We don't get to see much real talent in any of the creative arts anymore so I'm rooting for this.

I wish the collective internet Cringe Culture would move on, and just let us enjoy the things we enjoy. We get it , Twitter et al. You're too cool for CATS.

Here's a link to a behind the scenes. Wish I'd had the opportunity to be on this crew.

"I've never listened to the soundtrack ".....

Beyoncé’s movie The Lion King is killing it at the Box Office

R196 Oh fuck off cunt

r195 Probably because all my thespian friends were singing the songs and I wasn't impressed.

No, R198. No, that's not the answer.

Since so much of it is CGI, maybe they can make a video game version of it where you can insert your favorite singer into any part. I would buy that!!

Dorothy Squires IS Grizabella!

To Wong Foo:

When they come in to eat, poison all those fucks who shut me out of CATS.

I have MEMORY stuck in my head now.

It is unwelcome.

[quote]R200 Since so much of it is CGI, maybe they can make a video game version of it where you can insert your favorite singer into any part. I would buy that!!

Or Maybe you can hunt the cats, and silence them?

I thought this thread would be dedicated to the horror that is the Cats live action movie. Instead it has become a thread for elderqueens to bitch about "Memories".

Oh, R201 !!

That would be something.

Something to see? Something to avoid?

More fun thread about CATS!

Which one of you bitches' cat is this?

^^^ I think they just rubbed tuna fish on the screen.

R194 Hate to break it to you but it isn't just twitter that is shitting on this trash, the entire internet and anyone with eyes and taste is.

[quote]I wish the collective internet Cringe Culture would move on, and just let us enjoy the things we enjoy.

Maybe we enjoy hating on crappy art. Why are you trying to ruin our fun? Let us enjoy what we enjoy

Terrence Mann was in Cats?! Didn't he play the scary bounty hunter in the Critters movies?

R212 Oh honey, Terence is Broadway ROYALTY. And married to dance royalty.

And yes he was in all Critters flicks

So bitches, looking at this, Mame ain't looking so bad after all?

Who are the gays appearing in this CGI mess?

The irony of the Cats trailer coming the same week of The Lion King. The public obviously wants lions and not kitty cats.

R215 Only Sir Ian that I know of, but aren't there rumors about Corden and those weird rumblings about Swift from last month? Danny Collins who plays Mungojerrie seems to have potential as family, though what I see of his Facebook and no post IG has him prominently with a woman.

[quote]Who are the gays appearing in this CGI mess?

[quote][R215] Only Sir Ian that I know of,

AHEM!!!

I guess I can't really judge oldsters Ian McKellen and Judi Dench for appearing in this trash. They only have so much time to keep raking in checks.

But god, it's depressing.

Isn't the musical Cats depressing? I've never seen it but I thought it ended with the old lady cat dying.

R220, she gets to ascend to the Heaviside Layer and get reborn into a new Jellicle life.

Hopefully when she gets reborn in the movie, she gets the rest of her skull back.

I've always thought the ascent to the Heavyside Layer was a bit cruel. Here you have this old, broken down, prostitute cat. She finally wins a trip to Heaven to be reborn. She gets on a tire and the ascent starts. Then about 2 minutes later, the tire stops and the poor broken down cat is asked to step off and drag her arthritic body up a long flight of stairs. It almost doesn't seem worth it.

I've always thought it would be much more interesting if we could vote on the cat who goes to the Heavyside Layer. Doesn't Jenny Any Dots deserve a chance? Think of all the hard work she has put into life. She teaches the mice music, crocheting and tatting. She organized the cockroaches, creating a beetles tattoo. What has that old wornout drunkard Grizabella done but whine about how she was once beautiful.

R224 So you want to turn Cats into the Mystery of Drood? Hell, lets put them on roller skates as well and Starlight Express them cats!

Well it's obvious why Oprah's never played the role, r223.

Why is there only room on the rising reincarnation tire for 1 cat? It's not like the others have to pay for them.

^^^ Yes, it very similar in dimension to the flotsam in Titanic and while it might look like there is space for two bodies, be they cat or human, there just isn't. There's not a square inch to spare, hence only one get to take that ride.

Cats are cunts, that is why only one cat goes,

They would knock each other off

In case anyone was interested, "Jellicle" was a word TS Elliot invented to mock the way the upper crust Brits say "dear little cats." I learned that in ALW's memoir, which is surprisingly good, even if you don't like hm or his music.

[quote]"Jellicle" was a word TS Elliot invented to mock the way the upper crust Brits say "dear little cats."

But, they don't sound anything alike (?)

JHud will single-handedly put the last nail into this otherwise mediocre but once salvageable musical. She has the most important song in the musical, a song that requires sweetness, humility, vulnerability, pain, and she belts it out a la Merman - strident, flat, see how loud I can get. Just awful.

I'm embarrassed for Dame Judi and Sir Ian that this pile of shit is all that Hollywood has to offer two such talents.

Oh, they turned down other projects to do it. This one undoubtedly just paid the best.

Don't be silly, r233! They got to meet ME!

I don't get it either, r231.

[quote] this old, broken down, prostitute cat.

I had no idea my cat was in this movie!

This is probably old news, but I met an Englishperson today who knows some of the CAT DANCERS! This person said the cats were unhappy during filming.

I said Yes, it must have been a drag doing all the green screen work ... and they said it was more that the director was unbearable... and that’s why the first choreographer quit.

I've only watched the trailer once but it looked like some of the cats were CGIed - as if they doubled or tripled up on one actor, a la the Tim Burton oompa loompas.

It's like in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button when they are trying to make Brad Pitt young again. You can SEE the special effects struggling to compensate for him as he moves throughout the scene.

Okay - this is probably old news to those who follow musical history .... BUT i met someone from England today who knows some of the CAT DANCERS! They say the cats were NOT happy during filming.

I said "Yes, I bet it was a drag doing all the work against a green screen." But they said the problem was the director. He's also why the original choreographer quit.

^^ Okay, it's lame I posted that twice. GOD HELP ME, it didn't show up when I loaded the screen just now.

I've noticed a lot of double posts lately. It's probably a good idea to wait - click on a another thread and then click back to the one with your new post.

^^^ You can say that again…

^^^ You can say that again…

^^^ You can say that again…

[quote]What has that old wornout drunkard Grizabella done but whine about how she was once beautiful.

LOL! I've wondered this, too. She also deserted the tribe for greener pastures and only returned after her beauty/youth/health were gone. That's why the other cats were initially reluctant to welcome her back for most of the show. But then she sings a sappy song and gets to be reborn?

Frankly, my pick would be Gus the Theatre Cat. He was also old and feeble but had spent his entire life entertaining people and bringing them joy. That should count for something.

I predict that J.Hud will get an Oscar nod for Supporting Actress because she's black and singing an iconic song. She'll be their Anne Hathaway/Fantine.

I don’t just sniff kitty litter, I sniff an OSCAR! Several of them!

I never knew AnnE was black.

[quote]I never knew AnnE was black.

She is. It's just that in Les Miserables, they knew there would be trouble if a black woman played *another* prostitute. So they whitefaced AnnE for the role to avoid conflict.

The Hathaway/Fantine comparison was the 'singing an iconic song part' and having only one major scene. I now realize I worded it weirdly.

R252 What’s weird is JHud basically did that and won the Oscar for Dream Girls and AnnE, if anything, repeated her mojo by doing the same. So yeah, it seems to be a done deal. What I want to know is who gets to sing the new song that can be a contender for the Oscar?

[quote]What I want to know is who gets to sing the new song that can be a contender for the Oscar?

Well, it won't be me because my squinty eyed portrayal of end of life Judy Garland will sweep all the major awards.

[Quote] The Hathaway/Fantine comparison was the 'singing an iconic song part' and having only one major scene. I now realize I worded it weirdly.

Poorly. You worded it poorly.

[quote]r253 What’s weird is JHud basically did that ['singing an iconic song part' and having only one major scene] and won the Oscar for Dream Girls and AnnE, if anything, repeated her mojo by doing the same.

The character of Effie has multiple solos, duets, group numbers and scenes.

The Oscar got JHud the role of Grizabella. It can't be due to her non-existent movie career. I doubt she'll do the double.

AnnE also got the award because she shaved all her hair off. Academy likes that kind of stuff.

[quote]What I want to know is who gets to sing the new song that can be a contender for the Oscar?

I’m assuming it’s that classically trained actress Taylor Swift. The role as written for the stage isn’t much of anything. I’m sure they wanted to beef up her role for the movie, thus the new song.

Someone's missing.