Have you ever been friends with or dated a sociopath?

No. And I don't want to be near one.

Yes OP. My ex wife. Still making my life a living hell all these years after the divorce. Our custody battle makes the Allen /Farrow saga a stroll in the Park on a summer day. She just.. WON'T BE IGNORED... it's a caricature. (she knew very well when we tied the knot)

R2 are you a lesbian?

R2 are you a gay man? If so, did you tell your wife before you married her?

Yes I Did R4... Strangely enough, almost ten years after we split , there is still no male companion in sight.. She has devoted herself to the destruction of... Me.

Yes, multiple. Co-workers. Friendly to my face, tried to destroy my rep behind my back. I no longer will befriend co-workers outside of the office. Professional courtesy only.

Yes, I had a 'friend' who was (still is, but very much out of my life) a sociopath. Took me for thousands of dollars. I educated myself on the traits and characteristics of sociopathic behaviour, and hopefully will be able to spot one quickly. So far, I've been able to do so, and avoid any interaction with these assholes.

R5 why the fuck would you marry a woman. you brought this on yourself you coward

More like why the fuck did SHE marry ME ?? There was never a sweeter girl, and she luuuved me so much... I was young

My boss is diagnosed sociopath, but apparently this is common among CEO's.

I often wonder if the sex would be good with a real sociopath. They say the crazy ones are the best in bed. I don't mean cuddling or a relationship. Just the sex part.

My brother is friends with a sociopath, though he keeps him at a distance. I've been around him in numerous social settings, and I can only manage an hour or two without wanting to run the other way screaming. He is utterly emotionless, self-involved, talks plenty of himself and pretends to listen to those around him, but doesn't. It's obvious, and pathological. He does not care about anyone, and does calculated and creepy things to his ex-friends and ex-girlfriends for attention. One of my best friends, a female, briefly dated him before cutting it off because she was smart enough to see the red flags. He is a ruthless, fucked up person.

[R12] what are the signs? And what did this sociopath person do?

R13 he is a textbook sociopath. He is charming, particularly to women, until they get to know him; he puts up a good façade, but in actuality is a loser. He also fancies himself an ethereal being (i.e. considers himself "Godly"—no joke), an "artist" and poet, and basically God's gift to the universe, but for no actual good reason. It's all smoke and mirrors. He is a pathological liar, and will lie at all costs to make himself appear better than he is. He is also a thief, and has stolen money/possessions from his closest friends right under their noses, and shown no apparent remorse. I've had conversations with him and it is apparent that he is not listening to a word I'm saying because he's too involved in thinking about himself and what he can do/say next to show off how extraordinary he is. It is incredibly off-putting and I frankly don't understand why my brother has maintained contact with him at all.

Are you kidding me? I married one!

I really want to hear more examples of what a sociopath does?

I knew one when I was a child who molested me. This person was very good at seeming, not only normal, but sweet. I was molested and nearly murdered. I told my parents about what happened and they put a stop to it, thank God, but I've never seen someone so devoid of human empathy. Truly a monster.

R16 - We can offer our first hand experiences with these people, but you have to do your own research, and there are many resources available for this, starting with a simple search on the internet. Many well written books available on Amazon and elsewhere, like the library and book stores. Check out books by Martha Stout and Dr.Robert D Hare. I had a eureka moment the first time I attempted to explore what was happening when involved with a sociopath.

But, the thing to always remember, run, don't just walk away from someone with sociopathic tendencies. You will be exploited emotionally, financially, and any other way to destroy your basic humanity and trust of others. Nothing good comes from being involved in any way with what is the very definition of an asshole.

Sociopath is just a polite name for psychopath. There’s no fundamental difference. The signature trait is a complete absence of empathy.

People who borrow money and don’t seek to repay it are very often psychopathic to some degree. CEOs too. At the end of the spectrum you get people like the guy a friend took to bed. “I want to carve my initials in your chest”, he whispered. That was a short lovemaking!

True sociopathy is so rare it’s highly unlikely all of these people actually sociopaths. They’re more likely just assholes.

R16 - Why? So you can become a better sociopath, and not give yourself away?

[quote]True sociopathy is so rare

No, it’s common. But it’s like poofterism — it’s not a boxed thing - it comes in degrees, from mild to flaming.

I knew my brother was a sociopath in 1996, but it took another 16 years before the rest of my family caught on. He is so charming that a couple outsiders still believe we’re being hard on him, overlooking the fact that he has been in prison several times.

We’ve learned not to waste our time warning people about him. They ignore us until they learn the hard way, much as we ignored our own red flags.

The thing that tipped me off in ‘96 was his lengthy, serious discussion with me about his worldview. Essentially, he sees 99% of the population as “sheep.” He identified as the remaining 1%—the “wolves.”

A friends daughter was one...eventually I caught her on the Gerald show and Gerald was eating out of her pretty hand. I wonder if she ever changed her ways, or if she is in prison?

It is very obvious that Trump is a sociopath.

Geraldo? Perhaps I spelled that wrong?

Ask Derek Kaplan.

I've known more than a handful. I seem to be a malignant narc/sociopath/psychopath magnet. I don't date them and can ID them. Even when I was a child, I didn't know what it all meant, but I could tell they were different - lacking something. They do tend to prey upon and are attracted to their opposites - people empathetic and protective etc. There’s some blurring of the lines between malignant narc -- sociopath -- psychopath range, with the first being the lesser 'evils' and the latter being the worst. None of these are clinical terms, but someone once said that you can view it more or less like this: all 'psychopaths' are sociopaths (ASPD), but not all socios are psychos. Psychos are the extreme variant.

Not all are physically abusive; some do their damage in other ways. More than half that I've known were women, though men are easier to spot IMO. The women were more hidden and underestimated by those who couldn't detect this about them. The narcs/socios/psychos make up a small percentage of the overall pop, so chances are everyone has met at least one or two. Most I've known were in a position of power relative to their respective environments. They are ruthless and life is much easier for them than say ... people with a conscience, for one. So, you can more readily find them blending into the upper echelons of wherever they live and work. And in industries ranging from entertainment, to politics, corps, law, and the creepiest - religious orgs and medical (especially the people with high sadism factor). Not all were wealthy, but even in smaller towns they manipulate their way into some degree of power, even if only small-time politicians, socialites and mid-upper housewives (and they do a lot of damage under that guise). Lesser sociopaths might limit themselves to only harming a handful of people. Say a few family members, friends, or neighbors. Some are much more ambitious.

They usually blend in well, mimic others, great actors. In high-emotional situations or events (funerals, accidents, disasters, weddings, births, deaths) - they take their cues from others in how to emote/behave during those times. But very little if any of it is genuine. About half of the ones I've known have also had strong sadistic tendencies. Three were in medical: a gen practitioner, a dentist, and a veterinarian. Suffice to say, they all gained entertainment and pleasure from the daily sufferings of those they were supposed to treat.

Most seek channels into manipulating, toying with, and wrecking others. Bonus if they achieve a chain reaction. Most that I've known are stone cold. They're disconnected from others, and some view people and animals like they're alien creatures or insects. Most have either strongly disliked animals, or else kept them around as something to control and torment in the interim between people victims. If you're someone that's particularly intuitive, you can easily see a deadness behind the eyes, no matter how well they act or how nice they might look. There's something distinctly lacking. They are like an empty void inside. Some are aware of this, some not. But they continually try to fill that emptiness with their behaviors. On the extreme end, they have high pain tolerance, they cannot love, they cannot feel some emotions the way others do. Pathological liars about anything, potentially everything. No conscience. Zero remorse. But lesser sociopaths can form some bonds, might have a small degree of selective caring, and ability for guilt or remorse. Little in comparison to others, though. And when they do, it's often that they see that person(s) they 'care' about as extensions of themselves in some way.

R14 post could be describing my ex wife. Same. And don't you 'coward' me. I was always out. My granny was openly lez since the 1950's.my family has zero problem with sexuality. My boyfriend had just died. She was all over me. She was nice and quite beautiful. To this day, 15 yrs after his death, I have never been able to spend the night with another guy . Respect please. I am not a coward.

I was in love with one because he was so hot. Pathological liar- would seemingly lie for no reason. Used people. But, had a big dick and was attractive, so... Yeah.

Sociopath is the DL term for "person who did me wrong." Not all assholes are sociopaths. Only 1% of people are sociopaths.

I agree r21 that it’s rare. There are a lot of assholes and self centred people out there but that doesn’t make them sociopaths.

Having said that I do know one guy. Charming, fun, likeable but it’s all an act. I only know this because I’ve known him for 20 years, and have worked it out. He’s never done anything wrong to me and I doubt most of his friends have the faintest clue. He genuinely couldn’t care less if anyone he knows dies, including his dad who was a truely nice man. He pretends to, but he doesn’t. Pretends to care about his kids but doesn’t really. All the women he knows, including the mother of his kids, are disposable. He doesn’t abuse them but he cheats, lies, manipulates without an iota of guilt. Mostly they have no idea how little he cares for them. Up until the day he dumps them they think he loves them because he’s so good at pretending. His friends exist to party with him, anyone who doesn’t have fun the way he does he loses interest in. He stole from his sister, mostly for the thrill I think, and felt outrage when the rest of his siblings sided with her. That was the closest he’s come to giving himself away. He knew to reel it in after that. No more outright stealing these days, but now i think there’s a lot of swindling and double dealing going on. How he lives his extravagant lifestyle is a mystery, I don’t think his business is anywhere as successful as he says it is. He’s rarely there so it’s unlikely it runs itself. He’s clearly doing something dodgy but im pretty sure he still has everyone fooled. Like I said, he’s completely charming, warm, friendly, but it’s all an act. There’s not an empathetic or sincere bone in his body.

These people have a different race of soul.

Is it demon possession? I dont know. That implies so much. But man are they DARK and PARASITIC

I have honestly seen a sociopaths eyes turn completely pitch black in rage, like ALL black, before they attacked me.

They all think they are a god or something because there certainly arent human souls inside them.

I have thought about this a lot, the spiritual aspect of whats happening to these fucking asshole people...

R32, don't go and try to be logical here.

DL loves to diagnose mental health conditions.

Someone was mean to you or disagrees with you about something? Just label them a sociopath/narcissist/bipolar/aspie.

No psychology or medical background needed!

Just look at R19, for example.

No, hunty. True sociopaths vs. psychopaths are very different and have distinct profiles. They are not the same thing.

I had one as a live in boyfriend for over a year. I thought if I was nice enough to him that he would change, He didn't, in fact, it got worse. It got so bad I called the police because he hit me. I packed up all his stuff and dropped it off at his new apartment.

Our relationship started off so well. He was fun to be around, we had great sex, was personable and my friends liked him, and he helped me around our house. Then after a few months I started to catch him lying to me, he began to criticize me, stopped helping around the house, couldn't hold down a job, and never apologized to anyone about anything. Nothing was his fault. I couldn't have any of my friends over.

It has been 10 years now and the time we spent together still weighs on my mind. I wish I could erase him from my memories. At least I now know the warning signs and surround myself around with friends who are kind, fun and supportive.

Why do I get the impression that most of the posters here also post in the astrology threads?

Demon possession? Really? Are you Dee Arr or someone similar?

SMH.

R36 that doesn’t sound like a sociopath, that’s just an abuser. Just because he’s a piece of shit doesn’t make him a sociopath, it’s a lot more complicated than that.

Is this another thread about Dido?

Not friends but acquaintances with this guy. He bounced from Minneapolis to Chicago, then apparently to Dallas and ended up in New Orleans, always worming his way onto charity boards and into what he saw as A-gay groups. When he'd get found out or in trouble in one place, he'd move on to another and reinvent himself in a new group of people.

Supposedly died in a fall at his house in New Orleans, but I always wondered if there was more to the story.

Think of a middle-aged Andrew Cunanan and you've got it.

I have no idea what makes for a "true sociopath," but I did go to graduate school who had marked sociopathic tendencies. He frequently got caught lying to people--sometimes to advance his own image, sometimes just to see if he could manipulate people. I was vaguely friends with him, and then he would turn on me--I would be angry with him, and he would not only apologize but act incredibly sweet and charming, and if I forgave him he would just turn on me again.

He ultimately got an academic job, and is now teaching at a not-very-good university in NYC. I remain amazed he was never fired from his professorial job (he got tenure), but I see on ratemyprofessors.com that when he was a professor his students could see right through him most of the time,.

*sorry, that should read "I did go to graduate school [bold]with someone [/bold] who had marked sociopathic tendencies."

I dated one for about 9 months. I figured it out one night a year after we broke up when I was watching the news and the lead story was him being arrested. I read a book that was written about him later and really grasped how unhinged he was.

30 years later and he’s sill locked up.

I don't know if I've ever known any true sociopaths, but I've known several toxic narcissists. Who are basically half a sociopath, more or less. They can feel a sense of shame and remorse but it takes them a very long time to get there. Sociopaths never feel it.

My boss was a toxic narcissist. The day he told us he was leaving was one of the happiest days of my life.

Yes, I fell in love with one twenty years ago. I pegged him instantly, but knowing he was a sociopath didnt seem to matter in the beginning. He was superficial in the extreme. completely plastic. He lied when there was no reason to lie. He was impulsive. given to doing drugs. He was extremely promiscuous. He was extremely narcissitic. He did not cheat and steal for monetary gain, his sociopathy seemed to focus on social behavior. He had NO conscious, period.

He was also extremely attractive and was a personal trainer with the body to go with it. He was also incredibly good in bed. All of that wasnt enuf eventually to override the awfulness. He ended up getting married to a born again arch politically conservative woman. He had extreme southern baptist religion drilled into him all during his childhood and he always had the religious thing hovering around in the background. I often thought he behaved so badly in the gay world as he really despised his gayness and other gays. He has been married for over 10 years so hopefully he has changed somewhat.

Reading about sociopathologies tho, there is no cure or treatment.

Yes, friends. She was charming and utterly self absorbed. I realized it about two months later than I should have, while sitting in her living room watching her being interviewed by the police. The murder of her boyfriend's wife remains unsolved.

I was friends with one for 15 years or so.I caught on immediately when we met that he was a sociopath,but since he never practiced his black arts on me I mistakenly assumed he never would. He was utterly ruthless and completely devoid of compassion,yet had a way about him that seduced victim after victim of all sexes. Ill tell you how good he was,he conned his way into a job with Perot industries in Texas. A very high end executive job that he was completely unqualified for (zero college) and they not only bought it,they gave him an American Express corporate credit card and a company car ! Both of wich he stole when he left the state when they set up a conference he was supposed to lead.He ran up over $150,000 on that card in less than a week and sold the car to a chop shop.He worked for a lawyer once and was ripping off elderly clients and made it look like the lawyer was doing it ! I saw him do things like this over and over,yet he only went to jail one time for bad checks. Last I heard of him back in 2000 he was still doing his thing. He ruined lives time and time again, I never understood how he wasnt in prison for life. When he tried to fuck me over I almost threw him off a 9 story balcony ,but thats another story.

My brother and his wife are sociopaths. I'm estranged from both of them. My brother knows how to charm the right people and many of my relatives think he's a nice guy. But, it's all an act so people can give him property ad money before he got married to a fellow sociopath, he would constantly cheat on girlfriends and one ex girlfriend claimed he stole from her. My brother was fired from jobs in the banking industry due to suspicion of theft. My brother's wife has had troubles with law as well. Unlike my brother she's not a charming person and usually as in the case of relatives they don't like her and know something is off. I have tried to warn relatives that my brother is a sociopath. But, they don't listen and as a result I don't have much contact with them and don't really attend family events.

I was friends with a sociopath in high school. She could be charming and fun, but was quite ruthless and she fucked a married guy while we were still in high school. After graduation I cut ties with her. Several years later, I reconnected with a mutual high school friend who lived with the sociopath in college and she had tons of stories about the crap the sociopath did to her.

Yes, I have known one. She was charming and caring on the surface but it was an act. She was pure evil, sadistic and violent once she dropped the mask of charm. I was 21 went I crossed paths with her, she really fucked me up. I went to therapy for PTSD. Read an Ann Rule book or two and you will gain a lot of insight.

I have had a few people in my life with high antisocial tendencies. I may have thought they were my friends or loved ones, but they really weren’t. They wreaked so much havoc in my life! You cannot be friends or otherwise (truly) close to someone highly antisocial because they are simply incapable of healthy relationships. Fortunately, most people aren’t like that, but the few that are tend to be highly destructive. Be careful.

[quote]I don't know if I've ever known any true sociopaths, but I've known several toxic narcissists. Who are basically half a sociopath, more or less. They can feel a sense of shame and remorse but it takes them a very long time to get there. Sociopaths never feel it.

I have known toxic narcissists and yeah they can be pretty awful.

My husband’s cousin is one. He’s now serving two consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole for brutally murdering his own parents. This was the culmination of a lifetime of classic sociopathic behavior.

The kindest thing to do to a sociopath is euthanasia. The are not responsive to psychotherapy and cause so much damage to society. Older cultures would cull them from their tribes because they knew that sociopaths can endanger the survival of the entire tribe in the same way that a gangrenous limb can endanger the entire body.

R21, read The Sociopath Next Door. 1 in 25 Americans has anti-social personality disorder. That's 4%, not that rare at all. Other countries, such as India, have far lower rates in the neighborhood of 0.5%.

R35, those two terms are not used for clinical diagnosis. The proper diagnostic term is Anti-social Personality Disorder.

My ex boyfriend was. He had kind of a duality about him. Although he did love, yes love, and care for me, he had a very dark side to him. He could be quite ruthless and callous when dealing with others. Kind of like a Sopranos kind of thing. I guess I was Carmela?

Meredith Miller has a youtube channel and podcast about healing after narcissistic abuse that applies to people victimized by socio- and psychopaths as well. She spends a lot of time talking about how to identify these people, but also how to get over them once they're out of your life (imo, more important). Can also recommended the book In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by Dr. George Simon; it's simple and to the point.

My ex was recently arrested for murdering his partner he shacked up with after me. I feel lucky to be alive, but never saw any shades of violence when we were together. This has fucked me up the past few weeks though.

are these women who call the cops on black people consider sociopaths? I think so.

Semantically, anti social and sociopath mean the same thing, word origins.

It's taken me half a lifetime to both recognize and escape from the influence of a father with Malignant Narcissism. At 30, I met the love of my life, and we've also been raising our two wonderful boys, though pur oldest son has special needs. He's been hospitalized 7 times and it's been sheer hell. My father is a man of means and never came out once-not even so much as to hold one of our god-dammed hands, or even to pick up a bucket of kentucky fried chicken for our youngest and provide some respite.

When I finally had the guts to confront him about it over the phone asking," Where the Hell were you all those times?" his reply was utterly insane, "But of course I was concerned for my grandson's illness- I had to ask my doctor for a tranquelizer."

We don't communicate hardly at all anymore.

I met “the one” 8 years ago. He’s fucked with my head in so many ways but it’s never his fault and he will never apologize. I hate him, but I also love him. Yes, I know I have issues.

I am a sociopath.

R62, know that people in your life do not care one bit about you and wish they had never been subjected to your presence, ever. Kindly fuck off and go live in a cave.

R61, love thyself! Yes, really.

Yes, all of them.

DL has a great thread about a sociopathic guy who pretends to be a doctor and gets medical jobs around the country in gay-serving organizations only to be discovered and fired each time. Guys have chimes in that he’s a sociopathic bf as well— lying about everything just to get money out of them.

Jose de terreforte-Diaz

He recently got married again and now has yet another name so as to avoid being found.

I can relate, R60. It does take half a lifetime to disentangle, but freedom is wonderful.

Here's the thread on Jose, that r66 is talking about.

Hi, Harry, you poor widdle fella!

Monsters.

R62, Then do us all a favor and take your own life before you destroy yet another person. Seriously.

I call bullshit on r52 and r58. Let's at least see some links for these supposed murders, Otherwise, you making up these stories makes you a sociopath.

Bank HR person in Wisconsin. Female. Dressed frumpy. Acted benign. Worked behind your back to get you fired, especially if you threatened her. Hired competent people just to play games with Hired her own husband when he was laid off. Very frightening.

My sister Holly was always making plans with my friends and leaving me out. She'd make a pretense of inviting me, then give me the wrong directions to the place. Or tell my friends she'd called me at work and was told I wasn't there, but I WAS there and she hadn't really called.

My friends wouldn't believe me until they caught Holly sleeping with one of their boyfriends.

Later she told me she acted this way because she was jealous of me for being friends with every animal on the farm.

But I told her she couldn't be in my life until she stopped acting this way.

A true sociopath is always causing trouble for the people around them...often serious trouble. Sometimes they don't even get caught in the mess but the people who care about them, often get hurt. When one pops up in my life, I try to get away from them as quickly as possible. They can be entertaining as long as you don't fall for their grift.