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My next door neighbour's teen son Joel is having a birthday soon.

I need your help deciding what to get Joel to celebrate his birthday! So far, I've ordered a handcrafted backgammon set from Turkey which I pray will arrive before Joel's big day in August, and a bottle of absinthe from Mitzi, my beloved Lhasa Apso.

What else can I get for a young man who enjoys athletics as much as the finer things in life?

by Anonymousreply 61November 16, 2019 7:14 PM

0/10

by Anonymousreply 1May 26, 2019 3:11 AM

How old is he turning? 19? 20?

by Anonymousreply 2May 26, 2019 3:12 AM

He'll be 20, R2.

by Anonymousreply 3May 26, 2019 3:13 AM

A one year Netflix subscription.

by Anonymousreply 4May 26, 2019 3:14 AM

Night with a prostitute.

by Anonymousreply 5May 26, 2019 3:16 AM

A vape pen.

by Anonymousreply 6May 26, 2019 3:17 AM

OK, then will you start referring him to something different? He'll no longer be your 'next door neighbour's TEEN son' after August.

by Anonymousreply 7May 26, 2019 3:18 AM

5 pairs of Sunspel white boxer shorts.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 8May 26, 2019 3:18 AM

A beaded chain for his eyeglasses.

by Anonymousreply 9May 26, 2019 3:20 AM

OP, you will find many wonderful gifts for Joel at Mister S Leather in San Francisco. Not to worry, you can shop online. A young man is always busy. Perhaps a butt plug would be just the thing for Joel. He could plug it in and go!

by Anonymousreply 10May 26, 2019 3:20 AM

A livecam Jesus Christ feet-washing tutorial.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 11May 26, 2019 3:22 AM

The newest iPhone

by Anonymousreply 12May 26, 2019 3:38 AM

You presenting hole?

by Anonymousreply 13May 26, 2019 3:38 AM

The Sybian

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 14May 26, 2019 3:41 AM

Clone Mitzi for him so you have a matching set when you're out and about together.

by Anonymousreply 15May 26, 2019 3:49 AM

PReP

by Anonymousreply 16May 26, 2019 3:52 AM

Why are you buying your neighbor's kid a birthday gift?

by Anonymousreply 17May 26, 2019 3:56 AM

R17 = frau

by Anonymousreply 18May 26, 2019 3:59 AM

Fuck him or vice versa?

by Anonymousreply 19May 26, 2019 4:01 AM

Spa day including complete waxing of the family jewels, and an expert eyebrow treatment.

by Anonymousreply 20May 26, 2019 4:04 AM

0/10

by Anonymousreply 21May 26, 2019 4:05 AM

How old are you, OP?

by Anonymousreply 22May 26, 2019 4:08 AM

Hows about a gram of cola and a lubed finger in his hole before eleven thirty?

by Anonymousreply 23May 26, 2019 4:12 AM

I think Joel would most appreciate receiving the special kitchen accessories that will enable him to give dinner parties that are memorable for all the guests. A set of Le Creuset enamel cooking pans, perhaps.

by Anonymousreply 24May 26, 2019 4:13 AM

In classic Flame, r24.

by Anonymousreply 25May 26, 2019 4:14 AM

For starters.^

by Anonymousreply 26May 26, 2019 4:15 AM

OP, is your nephew Traylor gonna get jealous?

by Anonymousreply 27May 26, 2019 4:17 AM

I'm not clear which birthday this is for Joel, but if appropriate you might consider a set of very good knives. Of course, remember that anything you buy for him can and will be used against you.

by Anonymousreply 28May 26, 2019 4:22 AM

Monogrammed handkerchiefs

by Anonymousreply 29May 26, 2019 4:28 AM

What in the world are you insinuating, r29?

by Anonymousreply 30May 26, 2019 4:31 AM

A 55 gallon drum of Passion lubricant

by Anonymousreply 31May 26, 2019 4:31 AM

Pay for the entirety of his college education, OP

by Anonymousreply 32May 26, 2019 4:32 AM

A surprise anal 3 day cruise to Ensenada.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 33May 26, 2019 4:33 AM

Take him to Build-a-Bear and let him go hog wild!

by Anonymousreply 34May 26, 2019 4:34 AM

Freedom from your obsession?

by Anonymousreply 35May 26, 2019 5:29 AM

Is it that time of year again already? Lord, how time flies. May I suggest a lovely timepiece, inscribed of course.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 36May 26, 2019 5:41 AM

Obviously the complete Judy garland box set, a years supply of lube, and a 8-16 inch dildo set in 8 matching colors.

by Anonymousreply 37May 26, 2019 6:10 AM

Brent Corrigan brand home enema kit with bonus buttplug

by Anonymousreply 38May 26, 2019 6:29 AM

[quote]I've ordered ... a bottle of absinthe from Mitzi, my beloved Lhasa

You can’t give a teen a bottle of liquor, even if you say it’s a gift from the dog.

by Anonymousreply 39May 26, 2019 7:16 AM

Why is this thread crossed out?

by Anonymousreply 40May 26, 2019 12:55 PM

R40 Because certain people, most likely straight women, don’t recognize satire when the see it.

by Anonymousreply 41May 26, 2019 1:02 PM

I was just thinking to myself, "We haven't heard from the Joel troll in a while."

by Anonymousreply 42May 26, 2019 1:04 PM

Then why the fuck are they here, R41?

Now the thread disappears right away after a new post unless you have it watched.

by Anonymousreply 43May 26, 2019 1:05 PM

You can in Canada, R39. If you knew anything, you'd know that Joel and his neighbor live there.

by Anonymousreply 44May 26, 2019 1:22 PM

Birthday bump

by Anonymousreply 45May 26, 2019 3:37 PM

How about a collection of transgressive literature? Tropic of Cancer, City and the Night, Naked Lunch, and then of course some classic porn from the 70's. First editions if you have the time and money

by Anonymousreply 46May 26, 2019 3:38 PM

I'm waiting for the fan fiction that crosses the Joel universe with the Shit Brickhouse universe.

by Anonymousreply 47May 26, 2019 3:40 PM

Can you explain who this Shit Brickhouse person is? Does he work in media?

by Anonymousreply 48May 26, 2019 3:42 PM

Me too, R47!

R48, a good example of the shit brickhouse troll's stories:

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by Anonymousreply 49May 26, 2019 3:48 PM

Perhaps JOEL is the Shit Brickhouse Troll, hmmm?

by Anonymousreply 50May 26, 2019 3:50 PM

Oh I get it---Cocklet-- usually followed by some sweet reminiscences of daddy and his rancher buddies. I think Joel and Mitzi are far too lace curtain for such shenanigans.

by Anonymousreply 51May 26, 2019 3:53 PM

I don't think Joel's the shit brickhouse troll, R50.

by Anonymousreply 52May 26, 2019 4:20 PM

lol the Whole Foods story is one of my favorite shit brickhouse troll stories.

by Anonymousreply 53May 26, 2019 4:36 PM

I was raped by Goofy was a magnificent thread as well. Frauen ruin every thing.

by Anonymousreply 54May 26, 2019 5:38 PM

bump to test

by Anonymousreply 55May 26, 2019 7:17 PM

FWIW, I gave the OP a WW.

by Anonymousreply 56May 27, 2019 3:26 AM

Will Joel not be going off to school?

by Anonymousreply 57May 27, 2019 3:27 AM

Ask him here, R57:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 58May 27, 2019 3:29 AM

WW for OP. Keep the Joel stories coming.

by Anonymousreply 59May 28, 2019 6:10 AM

Mitzi is a little whore.

by Anonymousreply 60May 29, 2019 3:36 AM

How dare you talk about MItzi like that, R60!

by Anonymousreply 61November 16, 2019 7:14 PM
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