Thinking you’ve fallen hard for someone you met on Grindr. Can it ever be the real thing?

you are playing with fire . but you know this. you are smart you know all the bad things and the hurt that can come. so i guess you want this adventure. i did the same thing 20yrs ago. he was hot . in miami a stripper . everyone wanted him. i moved him to los angeles. it lasted 8months. but i wanted the experience. . so just dont cry too long when he does chew you up and spit you out cause thats the likely end to the story. but it will make a good story to tell when you are me .....20yrs from now.

You will be his friend, but never his lover.

I’ve seen this happen a lot with “stars.” Yes, I know a few.

Because they are so wary of people trying to take advantage of them, when they find a connection with someone, they give up everything so fast. They become close too fast. The new friend obliges because he’s a star.

Then the star will become somewhat suspicious and totally ghost you and move on to the next friend.

I’ve seen this over and over and over and over

R2 we are very upfront with eachother. He is very much like how you describe almost paranoid about how people see him. How they get to know him. He is very narcissistic. Very image driven. I am not. We share a lot of similar background hardship stories. He straight up gets very pissed off when I tell him that I’m not the one for him. The thing is. If I was still in his city. No way would we still be talking. But because I’m in another country. I’ve reallly gotten to know him unexpectedly . I’m not saying I know him well. But I truly get a sense of who he actually is. But someone that uses meth, a social climber, an asshole personality. I know they are dangerous. I’m sure I’m pretty delusional. But fuck. I don’t want labels on it. I just really want a future where we are in each other’s life.

OP, tell Elton hello.

Doing T together does not bode well for a relationship. A fling yes. A relationship to move to a city for - no. It’s infatuation - which is fun. But don’t think for a second “this is the one”.

Stop just fade him

(R5) The T was twice out of 5x. We talk on the phone for hours. I don’t even do that with my mom or close friends. We watch movies on the phone. We are not on T now. This is very strange but an undeniable connection. Will it be friends, possibly. Will it be a never talk to eachother. Also possible. But guarantee we are drawn to eachother like magnets. I will see this guy again. I guess I’m worried. That yea. It won’t end well. But I haven’t felt this way in years. I can’t let it slip away.

What's T??

Meth

Is he hung?

Yes and the sweetest ass ever. Ufff. I wish I could show pics but I can’t :(. Physically. He’s beautiful. He use to be a twink. Now he’s built like zac Efron in that baywatch movie

He doesn’t sound like relationship material

you're both assholes so you deserve each other

Yeah, meth heads in love. This'll turn out just fine.

parTy boiz!

[quote]Can it ever be the real thing?

Define real.

this can’t be real. I mean nobody could be this dumb. Really OP, you should drop everything and go to him now.

This has to be an EST but if it isn',t, OP, you need to question why you are attracted to a r'ship like this. Do you need drama and pain in your life? Do you need danger (risk of std's with this promiscuous guy) to feel alive?

And yes, a r'ship that started on Grindr can certainly turn into a lasting partnership; just not this one.

I think you and Steve should settle down someday. A nice condo at Myrtle Beach? he’ll have a short commute for his his residency at the Carolina Opry.

Define "real."

3--No, 2/10

I can't go into specifics (NDA), but OP don't go down that rode. It can only lead to Heartbreak. I KNOW. (In my case it was a pro ball player, with thighs, man, of steel -- and cock).

This reads like one of those elaborate trolling scenarios on LSA. The gratuitous use of astrology...But op did mention Miss Tina so tweakers be tweeking.

That's "tweaking."

[quote]Another thing he is extremely harsh with criticism and I’m a Virgo.

[quote] And he wrote a song about me. *sigh. That is romantic bucket list for me. Our bond seems so strong but so tumultuous at the same time.

You are exactly the kind of easily manipulated person that any user can see from space. Might as well have a target on your forehead.

Smarten up and harden up, or you're going to be 40 and chewed up like gristle before you know it.

You have a "great connection" to a histrionic narcissist who is a sex and drug addict.

Water seeks its own level

Let me tell you something very cruel and horrible to you: He loves his drugs more than you. That right there should be a giant "Danger, Mr. Robinson!" alarm bell ringing for you.

He's a mess and he's trying to drag you into it, because drama, misery, or a mess is so much nicer when you have company.

He's also an ego maniac who likes to manipulate you to toy with you to stroke his own ego, because he just can.

This will end in tears. More yours than him.

Go ahead,op. Do it. We know you will. Report back to us in 1 month when he dumps you. We can gloat on what a stupid bitch you are then.

My best friend met his current boyfriend on Grindr and they still use Grindr to find men for threesomes. They've been dating for more than a year and just closed on a condo together. And yes, sometimes they use party drugs

But sure eldergays keep acting like any young people having fun must be a bad thing lead to disaster 😒

I understand the beauty and lure of the connection OP but the others are right, it can't last. I'm so sorry for your pain when you understand and accept this. If he is fucking lots of other guys his connection to you is not one that has a relationship in the future. It took me ten years to come to that realisation with one guy, I was a fool, don't be one too. All the best. x

But you're the exception?

Any relationship can work if everybody involved is on the same page and honors the rules of the relationship.

The problem starts when someone entered the relationship with the intention to change the original rules, or has changed his or her mind about honoring the previously agreed upon, rules or just moved into a different direction and is, as a result, no longer the same person who agreed on these rules and feels now trapped in some way and is conflicted about either looking for a way out or holding on to what felt right in the past out of fear of letting go of, what was once upon a time, a good thing.

Op here, I actually be fine with no romantic relationship. The syncing we have would be a great friendship. I hate that I can’t really say that to him without being blocked completely. The basis of our fights have me saying let’s keep it real I’m not the one. This isn’t gonna last. But I stopped doing that because I would rather ride it out then have it end. But yes I am very scared of myself at the lengths I would go to that would be to make him happy.

This part shocked me the most.

[quote]Watch movies together on the phone.

[quote]For the next 7 days I saw him 5x. We smoked T. We had a fight. We went on a date. We shared our vulnerabilities. We had 3ways. We ate pizza in bed. We held hands until the moment I had to leave for my flight.

Rapid intensity and intimacy in a relationship is a red flag. If you’d described the above as happening over a period of weeks or months I’d be less skeptical. All of it happening in the course of a week isn’t healthy IMO. It’s like emotional porn—intense and stimulating but ultimately unrealistic. I am not diagnosing you and do not mean to insult, but I see these kinds of scenarios in my clients with bipolar and borderline disorders. “Yeah I met this girl last week, we’re the love, we spend every waking moment together and we’ll be together forever”...and the next week she’s gone. Be careful.

Idiot bipolar sparkle pony doormat OP, meets histrionic narcissist bipolar Tina Queen dirt bag.

R36 I really like your answer. This is not something common for me. But maybe it’s possible I am suffering from something that makes me feel this way. Could posssibly be depression. I agree it’s unhealthy. Me trying to change and adapt and make wrong decisions so someone will like me is incredibly stupid. I can’t help but feel he’s someone special to me. I haven’t felt a connection. A talk on the phone, sense of humor, share secrets with someone in soooo long. And I don’t think ever fully with someone I see in a romantic side. But at the same time I’m like how can we even keep it up Talking to eachother everyday. The whole idea of us seems so impossible but at the same time the connection can’t be denied. So completely possible.

The meth smoking star is JOHN MAYER.

I can't believe no one else is guessing.

I think you’re overestimating R39. It’s some third tier musician who only people interested in a certain subset of music would be interested in.

Sorry - not quite eldergay, but doing T is not just “having fun”. Is this the 90s? Does anyone over 25 think T is just “having fun”? I live in a gay ghetto and am around lots of party boys - but T is still considered extreme and dangerous. Not just a weekend party drug like coke, pot, pills.

Tyler the creator?

[quote]This has to be an EST but if it isn',t, OP,

The Poll is your first clue.

Why r35?

Damn, R33 I know you. A couple of times over.

Sorry R39, the musician was already identified at R4.

Isn’t Sir Elton a married man??? 😮😮

[quote]I can't go into specifics (NDA), but OP don't go down that road

Because NDAs are always enforceable and anonymous posts on DL can always be traced back to you!

-5/10

Wow you guys were right. Already reading and ignoring my msgs. It already be over. Very odd. Usually hear from him every day. Yesterday he had a photo shoot. Haven’t heard from him since

Photo shoot you say?

Stop obssessing OP, r48.

“Photo shoot” means needle use? He’s slamming T?

Meh. All people on Grindr are nothing more than play thing sexual objects. Don't ever think any different. Once you humanize people on grindr it's a slippery slope.

It means---photo shoot

A photo shoot with a smoking hot model who's also smoking meth. Soulmates only come along four times a year.

OP, you just dodged a bullet here.

This is like when Leonardo DiCaprio fell in love with Claire Danes because Mercutio had given him some powerful molly.

He’s a beautiful mess. I honestly don’t know the extent of his drug use. He did show me a music video that hasn’t been released that he explained to me is about meth. It was very Illuminati looking. I heard from him today. I definitely feel something is off. But I honestly didn’t expect every day talking all day could be sustained. I’m fine to give him space. Ugh. He even flat out told me to come back to his city so he can destroy me. Yea. I know I need to put myself first. But it’s so tempting to do anything to be with him. The things he says seem so sincere.

HE WROTE A SONG ABOUT METH????????????? You have to be kidding.

The song is kinda like how the drugs and the beautiful people will lure you in. Then the sun comes up and you see the ugliness behind the facade. He explained it to me and he partly directed it. He’s very in touch with his dark side but also incredibly sweet. He says he gets upset with the people that are around always giving him bags of drugs. He also says he does not ever want to quit drugs. He has a tattoo that kinda represents personality but I won’t say what it is. And yes he is very misunderstood. He peaked kinda in 2013. But he’s worked with very top names. One in particular who has passed and is a legend. He propably will get extremely famous evebtually. And yea. Prop won’t be with him then. I wouldn’t be able to keep up and I’m sure he changes when around industry people. I would be too lame for him to bring around. But some of his sex stories are wild. And he records them. Secretly he had cameras all over his bedroom

If you can accept that he won't change and life with him will be full of drama, then by all means, go for it. But it's probably better if you just have fun with him and don't take it so seriously.

It can be every bit as real as falling in love with someone on Chaturbate.

I think it all sounds incredibly romantic.

You should register somewhere.

Despair and misery awaits those who think a drug-addled boyfriend is all they deserve!

#loveislove

It's obvious that this is a bullshit post but anyway I think it has potential and that, in case the story gets made into a Netflix Movie, the role of the boyfriend should be played by Kit Harrington

I won't be ignored, Dan!

I don’t think Grindr has anything to do with this story. How you met is irrelevant.

Don't disturb Miss OP! She's writing the first draft of her wedding vows.

But then there's his cock, DL. It's perfection. Always hard, when need be, and that kind of veininess that pushes my O button. For that alone, I'd be willing to put up witth alot. And does he know how to,useit!

OP’s man is Bruno Mars

We are still talking practically every day. I’m falling in love and I dint care everyone wants it to fail. I have not talked to someone for hours on the phone for over 10 years. I’m letting it play out. If it fails it won’t be the worst mistake I ever made

Meth Stalker Journals Part XVI:

[quote]. If it fails it won’t be the worst mistake I ever made

You may have to lower your standards OP.

OP here. Think me and my guy are done. Not talking at the moment. His constant criticism of me and a weekend of him seeing old friends made him reevaluate us and now I’m not good enough in his eyes. Fuck him. Not upset. A little bit secretly relieved. It was exhausting being criticized all the time

No, OP. Everybody knows you can only have a solid relationship with someone who's been formally introduced to you by your aunt at a church social.

This ended in tears.

Does he have a tub OP?

Now that it's over, OP, you need to reveal which "famous" druggie musician did you wrong.

I couldn’t give a shit if I tried.

Lol at this whole mess

[quote] I’m falling in love and I dint care everyone wants it to fail.

Write him a letter. What have you got to lose?

Are you Australian, OP?

You dodged a bullet. At least you had some fun.

Tell us more about your affair with Adam Lambert, OP

[QUOTE]I have not talked to someone for hours on the phone for over 10 years

Don't give up on this relationship OP...do not give up!

Here's the question OP....

Some helpful advice on this DL thread, OP.

What does he criticize you for?

Op here. We are back to talking. It’s complicated but connection is real and can’t be denied. He has me rethinking it and I definitely do not want to lose him. He makes my day brighter. He criticizes me a lot about my looks. Even though he likes them and says he’s joking, also says I’m not ambitious enough or I’m bipolar. He turns everything into I’m the one that has the problem in every scenario. Not good for self esteem but uhhhhhh can’t explain it to DL. I’m gonna let it play out. It’s too rare of a connection.

Viva la amor!

Mary OP is either a troll or desperately in need of mental health services.

"It's too rare of a connection."

One can only hope.

"...he is the type to chew people up and spit them out. He admits this. "

Honey, you said it yourself.

[quote]r85 Here's the question OP....

In case that wasn't quite gay enough for us - -