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'Total tops' candidly reveal why they don't bottom

According to Russell A Baptist’s book Adam and Steve: The Rules for Men Attracted to Other Men, there are three main types of tops.

These are total tops, versatile tops and oral tops. There also exist true total tops

According to Baptist, true total tops generally ‘use dominant energy with expertise’ and ‘couldn’t care less’ about their bottoming partner’s pleasure.

Total tops in general, on the other hand, are more forgiving.

Versatile tops prefer topping but are more open to bottoming, while oral tops love performing oral.

As for why people develop these preferences, there can be a multitude of reasons. So we asked some total tops for their opinions:

Ethan, 23, gay, from New Jersey When I first came out as gay as a sophomore in college, I pretty much just bottomed. But then I switched to being a total top about a year after I came out.

I was taking medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) that inhibited blood flow when I first came out, making it difficult for me to get an erection, so I bottomed.

When I finally made the correlation between my body’s reaction to my medicine, I realized that I actually would prefer to top instead.

Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good.

I like to take an active role in lovemaking. I’ve bottomed before and it’s fine but I get bored and I’d rather be in the driver’s seat.

Charlie*, 23, gay, from London I can’t get past the pain, or relax into it. Plus, I find the sex positions most bottoms end up in are unflattering and make me self conscious. It’s also weird that the times I have tried I’ve wanted to be very much in control and doing the work whereas when I top I quite enjoy the opposite.

I guess this goes with not being able to relax but also wanting to make sure the other person is having a good time. If I can’t relax enough to do everything I’m trying to do, I’ll damn well try and control what I can.

Frida, 27, gay drag queen, from Glasgow I’m pretty much a total top but it’s not because I hate the idea of bottoming. I’ve bottomed a few times but I just get no pleasure out of it whatsoever. It’s not through lack of trying, just apparently a part of my physical makeup.

When I first started having sex, I was determined to be versatile; I wanted to be able experience the whole range of penetrative sex. But as I went on, I just found that I wasn’t enjoying it.

It wasn’t a pain issue, it was more uncomfortable – if I was wearing a pair of boxers that didn’t feel great I wouldn’t keep on wearing them. It was just a little overwhelming but not in a pleasant way and I kept thinking ‘Is this going to be over soon?

As a drag performer who often presents as an exaggerated female character, or as a fay androgynous character, people are often surprised when they find out I’m the top 95% of the time.

I think it speaks more to our society’s view of gender and even the wider expectation of gender roles in the LGBT community. It can be a little annoying. Sure, I like putting on a corset and slipping some socks into a bra, but why should that mean I wouldn’t enjoy taking the top role in the bedroom? My drag isn’t a sexual thing, it’s performance and art.

Callum, 24, gay, from Hertfordshire I’ve never tried bottoming at all. I tried topping for the first time about six years ago.

I’m a total top purely because I’ve never felt the want to bottom. Ass is what I am about and being a bottom or trying it is just not something that goes through my head.

I’ve never tried bottoming and it’s unlikely I ever will. It would have to be a very good man that I’m in a relationship with for me to even allow it.

by Anonymousreply 10110 hours ago

Neither of those dudes look like "total tops"

by Anonymousreply 104/12/2019

Agreed, R1.

In fact, I think the guy on the left is Scotty Marx, a gay porn star who usually bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 204/12/2019

Too many hangups. Versatility in all things.

by Anonymousreply 304/12/2019

I don't know how you can keep a boyfriend or husband if you never ever bottom. I honestly think being a 'total top' is just for show and isn't actually true.

by Anonymousreply 404/12/2019

Total tops have issues to work out

by Anonymousreply 504/12/2019

Zzzzz...

by Anonymousreply 604/12/2019

Looks like a total top just put R6’s ass to sleep

by Anonymousreply 704/12/2019

Bump

by Anonymousreply 8Last Sunday at 6:24 PM

gay drag queens and non-binary lesbians are my go-to experts in these matters

by Anonymousreply 9Last Sunday at 6:29 PM

I do it to help others.

by Anonymousreply 10Last Sunday at 6:29 PM

OP-this is the lowdown-Total Bottom, Bottom, Versatile Bottom, Versatile, Versatile Top, Top, Total Top(which would be a guy that never sucks or kisses but he fucks and gets sucked)

by Anonymousreply 11Last Sunday at 6:29 PM

How is a Lesbian (non-binary or not) a total top?

Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good.

by Anonymousreply 12Last Sunday at 6:35 PM

She holds the dildo?

by Anonymousreply 13Last Sunday at 6:37 PM

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good. How is a lesbian a top? Also, Perpetua is such an old school Catholic name

by Anonymousreply 14Last Sunday at 6:37 PM

I am hung over 25cm, 10+ Very thick and always beg me to top them. Prefer to bottom for guys 9 plus inches only.

by Anonymousreply 15Last Sunday at 6:42 PM

Total top is a synonym for narcisstic and battling with internalized homophobia. You don't like to take it up the ass? Okay. But to completely out rule the possibility, even with a longterm partner is ridiculous to me. Although really, most of these "total tops" aren't looking for anything longterm anyway. They're most usually a bisexual with a girlfriend on the side who you fuck once and never hear from again. Mind you they're more than willing to get eaten out or even pegged by their girlfriends. It's all about power. Women are intrinsically inferior to these people so it doesn't matter if they get fucked one wearing a strap on. But a guy? No way.

Fuck you Total Tops. If you don't like anal just say so but to call yourself a total top let's me know you're just a skeezy fuck looking for your own pleasure and no one else's. Sad sad life.

by Anonymousreply 16Last Sunday at 6:49 PM

Pics or it isn't true r15!

by Anonymousreply 17Last Sunday at 6:50 PM

I heard one total top say they had a "weak ass" so they couldn't bottom. I'm not sure what that means.

by Anonymousreply 18Last Sunday at 6:50 PM

"I don't know how you can keep a boyfriend or husband if you never ever bottom."

Huh? There are tons of bottoms out there looking for a top

by Anonymousreply 19Last Sunday at 6:52 PM

Tell me about it, R19.

by Anonymousreply 20Last Sunday at 6:54 PM

This thread makes me want to be fucked.

by Anonymousreply 21Last Sunday at 6:55 PM

I'm a 80%-90% top. I rarely like to bottom because I don't receive much pleasure from the physical act of a dick in my anus. However, sometimes you have to compromise for someone you really like.

by Anonymousreply 22Last Sunday at 6:55 PM

it’s fun to categorize and limit ourselves and others! Putting people into clearly labeled boxes makes like so easy.

Why not let lesbians in on the fun? Why not let straight people join in, too? Categories and labels rule!!

by Anonymousreply 23Last Sunday at 6:58 PM

How do total bottoms deal with anal fissures?

by Anonymousreply 24Last Sunday at 7:00 PM

"Perpetua" needs to go in the "old-fashioned ugly names for girls" thread.

by Anonymousreply 25Last Sunday at 7:01 PM

Go on it?

It's always been on it, like, well, forever.

by Anonymousreply 26Last Sunday at 7:06 PM

r23 refers to xhirself as "non-binary" and "gray asexual" in dating profiles.

by Anonymousreply 27Last Sunday at 7:28 PM

I loved topping when I was younger and would have fit the description of total top (anally). But age takes its tolls, including my ability to maintain a solid erection. I mostly bottom now, and we're totally fine with it.

by Anonymousreply 28Last Sunday at 7:30 PM

I’m a top - I tried bottom a few times put the pain was too intense. I love fucking guys.

by Anonymousreply 29Last Sunday at 7:45 PM

E X H A U S T I N G !

by Anonymousreply 30Last Sunday at 7:48 PM

There are others who identify as tops simply because they are ashamed to bottom. In private, their legs are in the air in a nanosecond.

by Anonymousreply 31Last Sunday at 7:56 PM

I am a dominating top

by Anonymousreply 32Last Sunday at 8:00 PM

R29 Not trying to change you but you do get used to it. And when it's with a guy who knows his stuff, IT'S AMAZING.

But then again I like being a bitch and getting used.

by Anonymousreply 33Last Sunday at 8:03 PM

A simple explanation is that some individuals fantasize about nothing but fucking a hole (rather than being penetrated); other men have other fantasies. There is no shame nor superiority in either school of thought. I would guess that most total tops have at the very least tried to finger themselves (or take a sex partner's finger), attempted to play with a small toy, etc. When doing so, they not only lacked the sexual desire to be analy stimulated, but also found no pleasure in it. Total bottoms exist, so why should total tops not exist also? Live and let live.

by Anonymousreply 34Last Sunday at 8:06 PM

Total dom aggressive verbal top. Was always ascared I'd shit the sheets if I let someone have butt sex with me!

by Anonymousreply 35Last Sunday at 8:58 PM

[quote]Plus, I find the sex positions most bottoms end up in are unflattering

!

by Anonymousreply 36Last Sunday at 9:04 PM

I love being face down ass up, R36.

I guess it's about having an inclination to being submissive.

by Anonymousreply 37Last Sunday at 9:19 PM

Alpha masc dude bro no homo top and my bottoms wear a jockstrap over their cocklettes and must be cut because I don't wanna smell no cocklettes when I am enjoying a manpussy.

--- Puabi, 23, gender fluid MTT non-binary visual display associate, Sephora

by Anonymousreply 38Last Sunday at 9:19 PM

It's because they are Ethel Merman fans.

by Anonymousreply 39Last Sunday at 10:03 PM

[quote]Was always ascared I'd shit the sheets if I let someone have butt sex with me!

You hadn't heard that it's customary to have an enema first?

by Anonymousreply 40Last Sunday at 10:13 PM

So much mythology on here.

There are a large number of total bottoms, total tops make total bottoms happy.

Versatiles are bitter people who hate the world and live to criticize others.

by Anonymousreply 41Last Sunday at 11:51 PM

Anyone who “couldn’t care less’ about their bottoming partner’s pleasure” isn’t a total top, he’s just damaged goods verging on mentally ill. Use an inflatable sex doll, if that’s what you’re about.

I really tried bottoming when younger, but it was usually very painful, even an expert and sensitive lover would make something up in my ass really hurt. So while I’m very happy as a top, I have huge admiration and a little envy for all the bottom guys I’ve met who really get off on being fucked. As for tops who never kiss, they're also really damaged. Surely, there’s no point in saying ‘total bottom, bottom, vers bottom’ either: if you define ‘total bottom’ as ‘always bottoms, never tops’, there’s no ‘bottom’ stage between that and ‘vers bottom’. Or just say ‘bottom’, unless you imagine there’s a stage beyond that of..... what exactly? No dick, so can't top?

by Anonymousreply 42Last Monday at 5:45 AM

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good.

does this mean Perpetua is a trans woman who still has a dick, ie a 'cotton ceiling' lesbian?

by Anonymousreply 43Last Monday at 5:54 AM

I’m nothing but two holes! Mouth n ass! I do not want to be pleasured! I want to serve alpha tops!

by Anonymousreply 44Last Monday at 6:15 AM

Many moons ago I slept with a guy a few times who went on to do the "straight" thing. Wife,2 kids,been married 30 years,etc. We reconnected on FB about 2 years ago and became casual friends again . After months of flirting we decided to test the sexual waters and arranged to meet at a motel. A few drinks,a few bowls,a few laughs on how both of us have changed physically then we get down to it. Its hot,its exciting then he rolls over and begs me to fuck him. Im a total bottom and always have been so it was a huge turn off. The night didnt end well. Total tops are a fairy tale ,at least in my world. On my profiles I state over and over "total bottom,not versatile " and out of the last 10 times Ive hooked up online its the same thing. They want to get fucked!

by Anonymousreply 45Last Monday at 6:38 AM

What you prefer is as innate and unconsciously chosen as being gay itself so this article lost me at the getgo. I never put that much thought into it. I top. I tried bottoming because I thought there might be something to the bs about masculinity and the fear of - yadda yadda bottoming didn’t feel good, end of story. It hurt and not in a good way.

But good on you if you like both. Double the pleasure and double the fun.

by Anonymousreply 46Last Monday at 6:53 AM

R45 couldn’t you have used a dildo?

by Anonymousreply 47Last Monday at 6:58 AM

R45, did you let his wife and kids know about the motel, weed, liquor and sex?

by Anonymousreply 48Last Monday at 7:00 AM

R48 Honey,we are both bumping 60 and who gives a shit about all that ? We just wanted to have a little fun,not get married . Save your judgement for somebody else.Besides,it didnt work out so no harm,no foul. My POINT was total tops are as rare as unicorns.

by Anonymousreply 49Last Monday at 7:12 AM

With my beautiful fat 9 inches, nobody will let me bottom!

by Anonymousreply 50Last Monday at 7:17 AM

His wife and kids might have cared about what dad did in his spare time. I saved my judgment for you because you opened yourself up for it. I’m not perfect and love total tops but I’m not going to betray someone else’s marriage so I can get off. It’s just not right anyway you look at it. Glad it didn’t work out.

by Anonymousreply 51Last Monday at 7:19 AM

Tops do all the work. Give them a break.

by Anonymousreply 52Last Monday at 7:23 AM

R51 Save it, Frau. No one was "betrayed" and even if it had worked out no one would have been. Are you sure you werent looking for the Good Housekeeping site ? Things arent as black and white as we'd like them to be,anyone over 35 knows that humans are messy and flawed. Neither nor,had he fucked me like he used to Id happily be letting him tap this ass with no shame.

by Anonymousreply 53Last Monday at 7:28 AM

ORAL TOP only here. No anal whatsoever. We both suck each other. I only suck uncut. We both rim each other. We both kiss. No anal at all. Anal is disgusting to me. However, I maybe could be convinced to fuck the right bottom. If I was turned on enough.

by Anonymousreply 54Last Monday at 7:28 AM

This conversation reminds me of a joke:

How do you pleasure a bottom?

Who cares?!!!!

by Anonymousreply 55Last Monday at 7:31 AM

Because they don’t want to.

Next!

by Anonymousreply 56Last Monday at 7:31 AM

[QUOTE]Plus, I find the sex positions most bottoms end up in are unflattering

That's why I won't bottom unless the room has been lit by academy award winner cinematographer Vittorio Estoraro.

by Anonymousreply 57Last Monday at 7:31 AM

R55 continued:

How do you tell if someone is a bottom?

They don't laugh at that joke.

by Anonymousreply 58Last Monday at 7:32 AM

True total top sound like selfish cunts.

by Anonymousreply 59Last Monday at 7:33 AM

True total top sounds like a public service!

by Anonymousreply 60Last Monday at 7:38 AM

True total tops are never without a date.

by Anonymousreply 61Last Monday at 7:57 AM

No one is a total top. I have never met one. The only guys I have ever hooked up with who didn’t like to get fucked were the one who hated any type of anal sex.

by Anonymousreply 62Last Monday at 8:00 AM

The guy on the right of OP's link's pic did a great scene with Jordan Levin — bareback, and Jordan cums in him, unable to control himself. It's pretty popular.

Ah, here it is.

Wish Jordan were more of a public figure, making appearances at stuff.

by Anonymousreply 63Last Monday at 8:11 AM

Jordan Levine*

by Anonymousreply 64Last Monday at 8:11 AM
by Anonymousreply 65Last Monday at 8:14 AM

Total top here. Being a total Top involves more than not taking it up the ass. You can go your entire sexual lifespan without ever being penetrated, declining each time it's offered, and still not be a total Top.

A Top's job is to exert dominance in every way possible, more specifically, dominance over his bottom. This is maintained by exuding self-assurance at all times and most importantly, doing everything in his power to achieve his own climax the way he sees fit. If the bottom is in pain, he is expected to suck it up and fulfill his duty. The needs of the bottom will not matter to the Top and if the bottom is a true bottom they get off on this lack of regard from the top. They will view the Top's pleasure as priority - as they should - but a true bottom should be able to get off on feelings of subservience alone. If a bottom has to be taken care of and doted while being fucked, they are barking up the wrong tree. They can fulfill their heterocentric desires with a "vers guy" (LOL).

by Anonymousreply 66Last Monday at 8:16 AM

I wish Jordan Levine would get his tattoos removed. He'd look so handsome. You could bring him to a formal dinner. He looks so nice without facial hair, too.

by Anonymousreply 67Last Monday at 8:18 AM

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

by Anonymousreply 68Last Monday at 8:20 AM

Does anyone else giggle when they read posts like R66's ? I think Theme Queens are hilarious ! Talk about gilding the lily. If you cant get off without totally devoting yourself to some elaborate scenario with all manners of props and posturing its just sad to me. Sex is wonderful enough without slings and cottage cheese enemas being added. Total turn off to me,and Im not that picky!

by Anonymousreply 69Last Monday at 8:26 AM

I love the kind of man r66 is! It’s what I need in my life!

by Anonymousreply 70Last Monday at 8:28 AM

I have never met a "total top" in my life. Whenever I have hooked up with a guy who said he was a total top, once I got my pants off and he saw that I had a big dick, his ass was up in the air in a nano-second, begging to be entered.

by Anonymousreply 71Last Monday at 8:38 AM

R71 doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground!

by Anonymousreply 72Last Monday at 8:42 AM

I must be an oral top, I guess. I love to top, suck and be sucked. And I don't like to bottom so I don't do it.

by Anonymousreply 73Last Monday at 8:45 AM

[quote]without totally devoting yourself to some elaborate scenario with all manners of props

Well, not all props are bad.

by Anonymousreply 74Last Monday at 8:59 AM

One of them oh so progressive guys lumps gender roles and topping and bottoming together, what an idiot

by Anonymousreply 75Last Monday at 9:06 AM

Tops do all the work. Bottoms just sit back and enjoy the ride.

by Anonymousreply 76Last Monday at 9:12 AM

If you are counting on self descriptions on apps to locate tops, you are wasting your time. Every top I have met there wanted to get dicked eventually.

by Anonymousreply 77Last Monday at 9:12 AM

So many here have this notion that nearly all tops are really sneaky bottoms. I'm a top and sometimes bottom to give my bottom guy a go so he doesn't think we always have to do the same thing and it adds variety and it's always hot fun. I don't crave it or even really like it that much...I do it for him.

by Anonymousreply 78Last Monday at 9:18 AM

R66 Sounds like Anonymous in Kansas City, who takes himself very seriously.

by Anonymousreply 79Last Monday at 9:43 AM

I suppose that it's a shame that most of you have never met a top (or so it would seem from reading your posts). Tops are not necessarily selfish, not necessarily "masculine", not always tall, not always large-dicked, not necessarily bossy and not guaranteed to be "alpha". They certainly can be one, two or even all of those things - but none of these stereotypes is a sure thing. Tops do fantasize about fucking mouths and asses. There you go - that is the big secret. Just because some/many of you can't stop hosting objects up inside your anus is not proof that every gay or bi man is exactly like you and has your same desires. As a top (yep, "total" one), I knew for a fact that I was gay when I started having wet dreams at age 11 or 12 and started jacking to Undergear catalogs soon after. I wanted to put parts of my anatomy inside of men's asses - right from the start. Not one time did ever fantasize about anything going inside my own butt. I can not tell you why, but I can promise that nothing has changed since and likely nothing ever will. In the same way that a truly gay man has zero sexual interest in females, a truly straight man has no interest in other men - I too have no interest whatsoever in ever bottoming. If you apply the Kinsey Scale to gay men (top, versatile and bottom) - it would make sense that most fall into the "versatile" range. But you also have complete bottoms and complete tops.

by Anonymousreply 80Last Monday at 7:53 PM

God bless tops.

by Anonymousreply 81Last Monday at 8:09 PM

Many of these people have internalized issues with being gay and tops/total tops make them feel insecure, R80. They feel some level of shame over their desire to have cocks in their asses; they likely think it makes them less of a man and that others also see them as less than. Believing that all gay men have the same desire makes them feel less shame (because then we'd all be in the same boat). This idea that gay is synonymous with craving a dick in your ass is just bizarre to me.

by Anonymousreply 82Last Monday at 8:45 PM

People need to stop saying top and bottom like it's an identity. It's a description of a sex position.

by Anonymousreply 83Yesterday at 12:04 AM

R83 THANK YOU!

Enough with this bullshit. It's what you enjoy not who you fucking are.

by Anonymousreply 84Yesterday at 2:47 AM

I am a top and love to rim.

by Anonymousreply 85Yesterday at 3:03 AM

I love to serve men. Deny my sex.

by Anonymousreply 86Yesterday at 3:17 AM

Hey everybody, a big round of applause for R66, who took time from his very important position as chief fryer at McD's to explain his stupid, childish philosophy on life. Such a deep thinker.

by Anonymousreply 87Yesterday at 3:54 AM

R80 We'd be a perfect match.

by Anonymousreply 88Yesterday at 4:04 AM

https://twitter.com/Zilv_Gudel/status/1117553086074171392

by Anonymousreply 89Yesterday at 4:05 AM

Like R80 says. All the rest of this thread is bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 90Yesterday at 4:09 AM

[quote]A Top's job is to exert dominance in every way possible, more specifically, dominance over his bottom. This is maintained by exuding self-assurance at all times and most importantly, doing everything in his power to achieve his own climax the way he sees fit. If the bottom is in pain, he is expected to suck it up and fulfill his duty. The needs of the bottom will not matter to the Top and if the bottom is a true bottom they get off on this lack of regard from the top. They will view the Top's pleasure as priority - as they should - but a true bottom should be able to get off on feelings of subservience alone. If a bottom has to be taken care of and doted while being fucked, they are barking up the wrong tree. They can fulfill their heterocentric desires with a "vers guy" (LOL).

[quote]Hey everybody, a big round of applause for [R66], who took time from his very important position as chief fryer at McD's to explain his stupid, childish philosophy on life. Such a deep thinker.

I thought it read more like a pron fantasy than a life philosophy - written by a virgin in high school who spends way too much time watching pron.

by Anonymousreply 91Yesterday at 4:09 AM

R80, do you suck?

I ask because my definition of a total top is one who doesn't suck at all.

by Anonymousreply 92a day ago

Total tops have mental problems

by Anonymousreply 93a day ago

I used to top because I have a big cock and bottoms expected it. I wasn’t that great at topping but size queens never cared.

I got bored and tried bottoming. It took a while but I began to enjoy. It’s at the point now that I barely top at all, to the disappointment of many.

by Anonymousreply 94a day ago

Two top couple discuss their relationship!

by Anonymousreply 95a day ago

What about someone who is not into anal, top or bottom.

by Anonymousreply 9614 hours ago

All the opinions are interesting.

One poster says that a total top is really just ashamed to bottom. But then, in the past, there have been plenty of total bottoms who have said they're not interested--and possibly even unable--to top (not just because of erectile issues). So, it seems like these two types are a good match for each other.

I also think it has to do with dominance and submission. I'm guessing the total tops are either masc or have Type A personalities, and the total bottoms are probably less masc or have Type B personalities.

I think the lesbian top/bottom dynamic is completely different. With two men, the top is the one "performing" the sex, and since his penis is getting the friction and pressure, he's no doubt going to climax. Whether the bottom gets to climax is anyone's guess; he probably takes care of that later (hopefully with the top's help) after the top finishes. (Not unlike straight women.) With two women, the top is in charge, but she's also doing all the work, and it's the bottom who will climax instead of the top. Perhaps they'll take turns so they both get to climax. But a male top does all the work and climaxes. A female top does all the work and doesn't climax. Is that really a top? Sounds like she's servicing the bottom, and therefore is the true bottom in the scenario.

by Anonymousreply 9714 hours ago

Most men are attracted to women, either exclusively or primarily. These men are by default tops. Among the small contingent of men who are primarily attracted to other men, the default seems to bottom.

Total bottoms are EVERYWHERE. On Doublelist. On Grindr. On craigslist, when it existed. At the adult video stores., apparently. All these men want to do is suck dick with no reciprocation and throw their legs over their head.

Total tops aren’t selfish or defective. It’s just another preference of the same-sex sex spectrum. Sometimes I feel like posts on DL are from another universe, or perhaps the out-of-touchness comes from most of you guys being so old you’re completely out of the casual sex scene.

by Anonymousreply 9810 hours ago

When I hear "top" by itself, I think "ok, this is a normal guy."

When I hear "I'm a total top!", I think, what is the underlying issue that he has?

by Anonymousreply 9910 hours ago

[quote]A Top's job is to exert dominance in every way possible, more specifically, dominance over his bottom. This is maintained by exuding self-assurance at all times and most importantly, doing everything in his power to achieve his own climax the way he sees fit. If the bottom is in pain, he is expected to suck it up and fulfill his duty.

What about handsfree cum? Seeing that is one of the best parts of topping. Does that not count as "someone else's pleasure"? Or is that another part of pleasuring the top by giving him visual stimulation?

by Anonymousreply 10010 hours ago

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland

Oh, fuck off already.

by Anonymousreply 10110 hours ago
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