'Total tops' candidly reveal why they don't bottom

Neither of those dudes look like "total tops"

Agreed, R1.

In fact, I think the guy on the left is Scotty Marx, a gay porn star who usually bottoms.

Too many hangups. Versatility in all things.

I don't know how you can keep a boyfriend or husband if you never ever bottom. I honestly think being a 'total top' is just for show and isn't actually true.

Total tops have issues to work out

Zzzzz...

Looks like a total top just put R6’s ass to sleep

Bump

gay drag queens and non-binary lesbians are my go-to experts in these matters

I do it to help others.

OP-this is the lowdown-Total Bottom, Bottom, Versatile Bottom, Versatile, Versatile Top, Top, Total Top(which would be a guy that never sucks or kisses but he fucks and gets sucked)

How is a Lesbian (non-binary or not) a total top?

Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good.

She holds the dildo?

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good. How is a lesbian a top? Also, Perpetua is such an old school Catholic name

I am hung over 25cm, 10+ Very thick and always beg me to top them. Prefer to bottom for guys 9 plus inches only.

Total top is a synonym for narcisstic and battling with internalized homophobia. You don't like to take it up the ass? Okay. But to completely out rule the possibility, even with a longterm partner is ridiculous to me. Although really, most of these "total tops" aren't looking for anything longterm anyway. They're most usually a bisexual with a girlfriend on the side who you fuck once and never hear from again. Mind you they're more than willing to get eaten out or even pegged by their girlfriends. It's all about power. Women are intrinsically inferior to these people so it doesn't matter if they get fucked one wearing a strap on. But a guy? No way.

Fuck you Total Tops. If you don't like anal just say so but to call yourself a total top let's me know you're just a skeezy fuck looking for your own pleasure and no one else's. Sad sad life.

Pics or it isn't true r15!

I heard one total top say they had a "weak ass" so they couldn't bottom. I'm not sure what that means.

"I don't know how you can keep a boyfriend or husband if you never ever bottom."

Huh? There are tons of bottoms out there looking for a top

Tell me about it, R19.

This thread makes me want to be fucked.

I'm a 80%-90% top. I rarely like to bottom because I don't receive much pleasure from the physical act of a dick in my anus. However, sometimes you have to compromise for someone you really like.

it’s fun to categorize and limit ourselves and others! Putting people into clearly labeled boxes makes like so easy.

Why not let lesbians in on the fun? Why not let straight people join in, too? Categories and labels rule!!

How do total bottoms deal with anal fissures?

"Perpetua" needs to go in the "old-fashioned ugly names for girls" thread.

Go on it?

It's always been on it, like, well, forever.

r23 refers to xhirself as "non-binary" and "gray asexual" in dating profiles.

I loved topping when I was younger and would have fit the description of total top (anally). But age takes its tolls, including my ability to maintain a solid erection. I mostly bottom now, and we're totally fine with it.

I’m a top - I tried bottom a few times put the pain was too intense. I love fucking guys.

E X H A U S T I N G !

There are others who identify as tops simply because they are ashamed to bottom. In private, their legs are in the air in a nanosecond.

I am a dominating top

R29 Not trying to change you but you do get used to it. And when it's with a guy who knows his stuff, IT'S AMAZING.

But then again I like being a bitch and getting used.

A simple explanation is that some individuals fantasize about nothing but fucking a hole (rather than being penetrated); other men have other fantasies. There is no shame nor superiority in either school of thought. I would guess that most total tops have at the very least tried to finger themselves (or take a sex partner's finger), attempted to play with a small toy, etc. When doing so, they not only lacked the sexual desire to be analy stimulated, but also found no pleasure in it. Total bottoms exist, so why should total tops not exist also? Live and let live.

Total dom aggressive verbal top. Was always ascared I'd shit the sheets if I let someone have butt sex with me!

[quote]Plus, I find the sex positions most bottoms end up in are unflattering

!

I love being face down ass up, R36.

I guess it's about having an inclination to being submissive.

Alpha masc dude bro no homo top and my bottoms wear a jockstrap over their cocklettes and must be cut because I don't wanna smell no cocklettes when I am enjoying a manpussy.

--- Puabi, 23, gender fluid MTT non-binary visual display associate, Sephora

It's because they are Ethel Merman fans.

[quote]Was always ascared I'd shit the sheets if I let someone have butt sex with me!

You hadn't heard that it's customary to have an enema first?

So much mythology on here.

There are a large number of total bottoms, total tops make total bottoms happy.

Versatiles are bitter people who hate the world and live to criticize others.

Anyone who “couldn’t care less’ about their bottoming partner’s pleasure” isn’t a total top, he’s just damaged goods verging on mentally ill. Use an inflatable sex doll, if that’s what you’re about.

I really tried bottoming when younger, but it was usually very painful, even an expert and sensitive lover would make something up in my ass really hurt. So while I’m very happy as a top, I have huge admiration and a little envy for all the bottom guys I’ve met who really get off on being fucked. As for tops who never kiss, they're also really damaged. Surely, there’s no point in saying ‘total bottom, bottom, vers bottom’ either: if you define ‘total bottom’ as ‘always bottoms, never tops’, there’s no ‘bottom’ stage between that and ‘vers bottom’. Or just say ‘bottom’, unless you imagine there’s a stage beyond that of..... what exactly? No dick, so can't top?

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good.

does this mean Perpetua is a trans woman who still has a dick, ie a 'cotton ceiling' lesbian?

I’m nothing but two holes! Mouth n ass! I do not want to be pleasured! I want to serve alpha tops!

Many moons ago I slept with a guy a few times who went on to do the "straight" thing. Wife,2 kids,been married 30 years,etc. We reconnected on FB about 2 years ago and became casual friends again . After months of flirting we decided to test the sexual waters and arranged to meet at a motel. A few drinks,a few bowls,a few laughs on how both of us have changed physically then we get down to it. Its hot,its exciting then he rolls over and begs me to fuck him. Im a total bottom and always have been so it was a huge turn off. The night didnt end well. Total tops are a fairy tale ,at least in my world. On my profiles I state over and over "total bottom,not versatile " and out of the last 10 times Ive hooked up online its the same thing. They want to get fucked!

What you prefer is as innate and unconsciously chosen as being gay itself so this article lost me at the getgo. I never put that much thought into it. I top. I tried bottoming because I thought there might be something to the bs about masculinity and the fear of - yadda yadda bottoming didn’t feel good, end of story. It hurt and not in a good way.

But good on you if you like both. Double the pleasure and double the fun.

R45 couldn’t you have used a dildo?

R45, did you let his wife and kids know about the motel, weed, liquor and sex?

R48 Honey,we are both bumping 60 and who gives a shit about all that ? We just wanted to have a little fun,not get married . Save your judgement for somebody else.Besides,it didnt work out so no harm,no foul. My POINT was total tops are as rare as unicorns.

With my beautiful fat 9 inches, nobody will let me bottom!

His wife and kids might have cared about what dad did in his spare time. I saved my judgment for you because you opened yourself up for it. I’m not perfect and love total tops but I’m not going to betray someone else’s marriage so I can get off. It’s just not right anyway you look at it. Glad it didn’t work out.

Tops do all the work. Give them a break.

R51 Save it, Frau. No one was "betrayed" and even if it had worked out no one would have been. Are you sure you werent looking for the Good Housekeeping site ? Things arent as black and white as we'd like them to be,anyone over 35 knows that humans are messy and flawed. Neither nor,had he fucked me like he used to Id happily be letting him tap this ass with no shame.

ORAL TOP only here. No anal whatsoever. We both suck each other. I only suck uncut. We both rim each other. We both kiss. No anal at all. Anal is disgusting to me. However, I maybe could be convinced to fuck the right bottom. If I was turned on enough.

This conversation reminds me of a joke:

How do you pleasure a bottom?

Who cares?!!!!

Because they don’t want to.

Next!

[QUOTE]Plus, I find the sex positions most bottoms end up in are unflattering

That's why I won't bottom unless the room has been lit by academy award winner cinematographer Vittorio Estoraro.

R55 continued:

How do you tell if someone is a bottom?

They don't laugh at that joke.

True total top sound like selfish cunts.

True total top sounds like a public service!

True total tops are never without a date.

No one is a total top. I have never met one. The only guys I have ever hooked up with who didn’t like to get fucked were the one who hated any type of anal sex.

The guy on the right of OP's link's pic did a great scene with Jordan Levin — bareback, and Jordan cums in him, unable to control himself. It's pretty popular.

Ah, here it is.

Wish Jordan were more of a public figure, making appearances at stuff.

Jordan Levine*

Total top here. Being a total Top involves more than not taking it up the ass. You can go your entire sexual lifespan without ever being penetrated, declining each time it's offered, and still not be a total Top.

A Top's job is to exert dominance in every way possible, more specifically, dominance over his bottom. This is maintained by exuding self-assurance at all times and most importantly, doing everything in his power to achieve his own climax the way he sees fit. If the bottom is in pain, he is expected to suck it up and fulfill his duty. The needs of the bottom will not matter to the Top and if the bottom is a true bottom they get off on this lack of regard from the top. They will view the Top's pleasure as priority - as they should - but a true bottom should be able to get off on feelings of subservience alone. If a bottom has to be taken care of and doted while being fucked, they are barking up the wrong tree. They can fulfill their heterocentric desires with a "vers guy" (LOL).

I wish Jordan Levine would get his tattoos removed. He'd look so handsome. You could bring him to a formal dinner. He looks so nice without facial hair, too.

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Does anyone else giggle when they read posts like R66's ? I think Theme Queens are hilarious ! Talk about gilding the lily. If you cant get off without totally devoting yourself to some elaborate scenario with all manners of props and posturing its just sad to me. Sex is wonderful enough without slings and cottage cheese enemas being added. Total turn off to me,and Im not that picky!

I love the kind of man r66 is! It’s what I need in my life!

I have never met a "total top" in my life. Whenever I have hooked up with a guy who said he was a total top, once I got my pants off and he saw that I had a big dick, his ass was up in the air in a nano-second, begging to be entered.

R71 doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground!

I must be an oral top, I guess. I love to top, suck and be sucked. And I don't like to bottom so I don't do it.

[quote]without totally devoting yourself to some elaborate scenario with all manners of props

Well, not all props are bad.

One of them oh so progressive guys lumps gender roles and topping and bottoming together, what an idiot

Tops do all the work. Bottoms just sit back and enjoy the ride.

If you are counting on self descriptions on apps to locate tops, you are wasting your time. Every top I have met there wanted to get dicked eventually.

So many here have this notion that nearly all tops are really sneaky bottoms. I'm a top and sometimes bottom to give my bottom guy a go so he doesn't think we always have to do the same thing and it adds variety and it's always hot fun. I don't crave it or even really like it that much...I do it for him.

R66 Sounds like Anonymous in Kansas City, who takes himself very seriously.

I suppose that it's a shame that most of you have never met a top (or so it would seem from reading your posts). Tops are not necessarily selfish, not necessarily "masculine", not always tall, not always large-dicked, not necessarily bossy and not guaranteed to be "alpha". They certainly can be one, two or even all of those things - but none of these stereotypes is a sure thing. Tops do fantasize about fucking mouths and asses. There you go - that is the big secret. Just because some/many of you can't stop hosting objects up inside your anus is not proof that every gay or bi man is exactly like you and has your same desires. As a top (yep, "total" one), I knew for a fact that I was gay when I started having wet dreams at age 11 or 12 and started jacking to Undergear catalogs soon after. I wanted to put parts of my anatomy inside of men's asses - right from the start. Not one time did ever fantasize about anything going inside my own butt. I can not tell you why, but I can promise that nothing has changed since and likely nothing ever will. In the same way that a truly gay man has zero sexual interest in females, a truly straight man has no interest in other men - I too have no interest whatsoever in ever bottoming. If you apply the Kinsey Scale to gay men (top, versatile and bottom) - it would make sense that most fall into the "versatile" range. But you also have complete bottoms and complete tops.

God bless tops.

Many of these people have internalized issues with being gay and tops/total tops make them feel insecure, R80. They feel some level of shame over their desire to have cocks in their asses; they likely think it makes them less of a man and that others also see them as less than. Believing that all gay men have the same desire makes them feel less shame (because then we'd all be in the same boat). This idea that gay is synonymous with craving a dick in your ass is just bizarre to me.

People need to stop saying top and bottom like it's an identity. It's a description of a sex position.

R83 THANK YOU!

Enough with this bullshit. It's what you enjoy not who you fucking are.

I am a top and love to rim.

I love to serve men. Deny my sex.

Hey everybody, a big round of applause for R66, who took time from his very important position as chief fryer at McD's to explain his stupid, childish philosophy on life. Such a deep thinker.

R80 We'd be a perfect match.

https://twitter.com/Zilv_Gudel/status/1117553086074171392

Like R80 says. All the rest of this thread is bullshit.

[quote]A Top's job is to exert dominance in every way possible, more specifically, dominance over his bottom. This is maintained by exuding self-assurance at all times and most importantly, doing everything in his power to achieve his own climax the way he sees fit. If the bottom is in pain, he is expected to suck it up and fulfill his duty. The needs of the bottom will not matter to the Top and if the bottom is a true bottom they get off on this lack of regard from the top. They will view the Top's pleasure as priority - as they should - but a true bottom should be able to get off on feelings of subservience alone. If a bottom has to be taken care of and doted while being fucked, they are barking up the wrong tree. They can fulfill their heterocentric desires with a "vers guy" (LOL).

[quote]Hey everybody, a big round of applause for [R66], who took time from his very important position as chief fryer at McD's to explain his stupid, childish philosophy on life. Such a deep thinker.

I thought it read more like a pron fantasy than a life philosophy - written by a virgin in high school who spends way too much time watching pron.

R80, do you suck?

I ask because my definition of a total top is one who doesn't suck at all.

Total tops have mental problems

I used to top because I have a big cock and bottoms expected it. I wasn’t that great at topping but size queens never cared.

I got bored and tried bottoming. It took a while but I began to enjoy. It’s at the point now that I barely top at all, to the disappointment of many.

Two top couple discuss their relationship!

What about someone who is not into anal, top or bottom.

All the opinions are interesting.

One poster says that a total top is really just ashamed to bottom. But then, in the past, there have been plenty of total bottoms who have said they're not interested--and possibly even unable--to top (not just because of erectile issues). So, it seems like these two types are a good match for each other.

I also think it has to do with dominance and submission. I'm guessing the total tops are either masc or have Type A personalities, and the total bottoms are probably less masc or have Type B personalities.

I think the lesbian top/bottom dynamic is completely different. With two men, the top is the one "performing" the sex, and since his penis is getting the friction and pressure, he's no doubt going to climax. Whether the bottom gets to climax is anyone's guess; he probably takes care of that later (hopefully with the top's help) after the top finishes. (Not unlike straight women.) With two women, the top is in charge, but she's also doing all the work, and it's the bottom who will climax instead of the top. Perhaps they'll take turns so they both get to climax. But a male top does all the work and climaxes. A female top does all the work and doesn't climax. Is that really a top? Sounds like she's servicing the bottom, and therefore is the true bottom in the scenario.

Most men are attracted to women, either exclusively or primarily. These men are by default tops. Among the small contingent of men who are primarily attracted to other men, the default seems to bottom.

Total bottoms are EVERYWHERE. On Doublelist. On Grindr. On craigslist, when it existed. At the adult video stores., apparently. All these men want to do is suck dick with no reciprocation and throw their legs over their head.

Total tops aren’t selfish or defective. It’s just another preference of the same-sex sex spectrum. Sometimes I feel like posts on DL are from another universe, or perhaps the out-of-touchness comes from most of you guys being so old you’re completely out of the casual sex scene.

When I hear "top" by itself, I think "ok, this is a normal guy."

When I hear "I'm a total top!", I think, what is the underlying issue that he has?

[quote]A Top's job is to exert dominance in every way possible, more specifically, dominance over his bottom. This is maintained by exuding self-assurance at all times and most importantly, doing everything in his power to achieve his own climax the way he sees fit. If the bottom is in pain, he is expected to suck it up and fulfill his duty.

What about handsfree cum? Seeing that is one of the best parts of topping. Does that not count as "someone else's pleasure"? Or is that another part of pleasuring the top by giving him visual stimulation?

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland

Oh, fuck off already.

I think that many define tops or bottoms in terms of anal sex. If that is the case, my take on a "total top" is a guy who never takes dick/or toys in his anus and has no interest in doing so (and a "total bottom" being a guy who only takes phallic objects in his ass never inserts his penis into another man anally). Oral sex can be a lot more "versatile" (if you can use that term) and much harder to define with the same terminology used for anal sex. Analingus in particular leads to a very confusing classification of top or bottom. Some find rimming to be a "top" behavior (the tops rimming the bottom's ass), while others find the exact opposite to be true. The split is almost 50/50 (anecdotally speaker), so the terms top and bottom mean very little here. When it comes to sucking dick, most find the sucker to be more of an oral "bottom", yet many anal tops (though certainly not all) enjoy giving head as well. It is probably best for one to just list out his interests and his limits rather that try to use one or two words to sum up his complete sexual profile.

[quote] reveal why they don't bottom

Duh, because that would make them like super gay, OP

SMH. I swear you all just don't get it.

Only on Datalounge would old gay geesters expound and pontificate over top and bottom in 2019.

Insecure and hang ups galore.

Force me to worship your meat and feet.

When I was younger, around 18-19 a friend told me about a hot dude that was mostly straight but liked to mess around with men, I thought that's kinda hot (I was young), then my friend told that he doesnt like to kiss or suck dick, he'll only receive oral and fuck you in the ass and I remember thinking then what's the point ? He wont even kiss you ? I guess looking back that was a 'true total top' ?

R107, no dear: that as someone really fucked up and damaged.

Total Tops aren't really gay. They are just MEN - meaning they like getting their dicks sucked (regardless of who) and like putting their dicks into holes - again, regardless of who. They just claim 'gay' because gay guys are more willing to just do it often and frequently.

R109 retarded logic. It's about wanting to fuck another guy for whatever reason. I've never heard of total top who also likes to fuck women. Those are bisexuals and a very different breed.

People usually bottom for those who they perceive as more dominant. Many 'total tops' bottom for more dominant men with big dicks.

Has DL reached a consensus on “oral top”? Is it a guy who only likes to get blown, or a top who likes to suck?

If a guy who identifies as gay won't suck dick or bottom he might as well fuck pussy.

R111 - of course some might do just that but others never will - no matter how hot their sex partner might be. You either desire things in your ass or you don't. There are few things hotter than topping a masculine/dominant "straight" guy - so plenty of tops have no desire to take a bottom role even if the bottom is uber masculine. To each their own.

Bump 🍆🍑🍤

Bump

[quote]while oral tops love performing oral.

FALSE. Oral tops are the penetrators. It means they like getting sucked.

I'm skeptical of 'total tops'. I understand lack of preference, having fear, disgust for the anal area, or genuine biological discomfort, but for *both* straight and gay men well, they have prostates, so to totally and absolutely rule it out without explanation beyond 'position', well, its curious at least.

I'm around 30. In my earlier teens I was far too stressed out to bottom, though I tried. In my later teens I was still too stressed, but tried harder, but it didn't work with my partner so I easily enough defaulted to top and thought that's all I was. In my earlier twenties I finally did bottom and between my new/current partner and a little hooking up with others I found times I absolutely loved it, though it was a little too tiring for my tastes (the activity and the care to clean beforehand). Now I consider myself vers though I mainly bottom for the encounters I happen to have. I do have people that I'd only top for out of their wants. My teenage partner was pure bottom at the time, no issue there, though I think he's more vers over time. My current partner was pure top initially but he's loosened up some and lightly or very occasionally bottomed. For me my matter was that I was literally physically tense from anything sexual, and for my partner its more of a psychological lack of control.

I don't think I've ever met or at least made friendship with a gay man who is truly the (myth of?) total top. Anything I hear about or encounter is someone closeted/'discreet' or newly out.

I can definitely see a gay man having *no desire* to have anything in his ass, of course. Its the *I'll never ever have desire for it and there's no way I would* attitude which raises eyebrows similar to when I see closet-cases. And I'm talking about both gay and straight men saying this too.

I only like sucking and getting sucked. Anal is total turn-off to me, both bottom or top.

You're alone,arent you R119 ? Nothing more boring than someone who is inhibited sexually.

I like the idea of bottoming - but I usually find the actuality doesn’t feel that great to me - “is this almost over,” as another poster said above, is what I usually find myself thinking.

I also need to be extremely visually turned on by the other guy for it to work - not that they need to be conventionally handsome, but there are certain physical traits that get me in the mood to bottom that are a much narrower subset of the ones that make me open to having sex with in general - and a big cock isn’t one of them - for bottoming I much prefer an average sized one.

What are they supposed to be more "forgiving" of, exactly?

I was a total top when I was younger and then I realized how absolutely bored I was

[quote] while oral tops love performing oral.

That's more a bottom than a top thing. Wouldn't an oral "TOP" want to have his dick sucked i.e. be in the dominant position?

I find total tops so fucking boring. I have no desire to just pleasure someone else

[quote]I have no desire to just pleasure someone else

Well gurl there are plenty of hoe bottoms out there who find great pleasure in taking it up the ass

R45 makes a good point and I have the same problem, only reversed. I'm a total top and I get hit on by tops frequently. Either they aren't total tops, or they are experimenting, or they want to see if I'll flip. These are all bad reasons to have sex IMO. The last 2 reasons are the most common in my experience.

Last weekend was an experimenter. He decided he wasn't into getting fucked after 10 minutes, so I had to beat off to cum. Other guys say they want me to fuck them, then after a few minutes, start asking if they can fuck me. "It's only fair," they'll say. My profile is very clear that I'm only interested in topping, and that I'm not interested in getting with other tops or versatiles. I'm merely trying to avoid disappointment.

These days, R112, an "oral top" is a guy who sucks dick and fucks. It's 2 nouns, not a modifier and a noun.

One should anticipate the possibility that a guy who says he's a total top might not want to suck dick. It's best to ask.

In the before time, an oral top aka French active would be the guy who sucks, and the French passive would be the guy who gets sucked. With Greek active, you're the fucker; and with Greek passive, the fucked. This is a bit complicated.

My God, why are we so obsessed with titles and categories? The vast majority are not one specific sexual category but we can't seem to handle that on DL

Bump

Lesbian top = dildo master?

Most gay men are vers, so this total top shit is all talk.

I'd love to bttm more but when guys see this cock, their legs go up in the air.

I'm a cunnilingus bottom

SPOT

R5 FTW.

Total tops are missing half the fun

Don't know what DL's problem is. I am only interested in total tops.

It's amusing that the porn actors in OPs article are both overwhelmingly bottoms in their porn scenes.

People like what they like…get over it. If this doesn’t match your desires, move on. PC crap in the bedroom (or alley) is a major turn off and total BS.

People do indeed like what they like, and what I like are versatile guys without hangups. What you do in bed is your business and as long as it’s consensual I don’t really care, but the total tops I know all had “issues;” issues with being openly gay, issues with masculinity, issues with women/misogyny, even anger issues. All were rigid, conservative, and overly concerned with “appearances” and what other people think of them, in every situation. Some really fucked up psychologies at work.

No, thank you.

Oh, but you do care, Carrie Nation! Lol. You are making other people’s sexual habits your business. No one cares what your opinions are of their proclivities. How are you different than Focus on the Family, or Tony Perkins? I’m way tired of overly concerned old biddies and Earnest Ernies trying to tell me what to do with my wiener, asshole, mouth, and hands. Most gay and bisexual (!) men I know were judged quite harshly for their sexuality while they were growing up, we don’t need it from fellow tribesmen as well. The PC crap is destructive. Get the plank out of your own eye, before coming for me. Oh, and I am a cocksucking lifelong Democrat if you must know. Jaysus.

Jesus Christ, R142. Go get fucked you hysterical cunt.

R143 I’d tell you the same, Carrie Nation, but it’s clear you’re totally unfuckable. Why not take your pathetic, prissy, and predictable OCD behavior back to your Al-Anon meeting where someone may give a fuck about your homophobic whining. I suggest you take some Anafranil and MYOB until someone actually asks what you think. They rest of us don’t care to hear the putrid projections coming out of your diseased pie hole. STFU and sit down.

Bump

⬆⬇↕

I have a nervous stomach and never shit right. There've been one or 2 times when it wasn't exactly clean back there and it put me off the whole endeavor permanently. Plus I have a big dick.

I'm a top that doesn't like anal sex.

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian

WTF does that even mean???

Fascinating

[quote]‘use dominant energy with expertise’

LOL

Where are the total Alphas?

[quote] According to Baptist, true total tops generally ‘use dominant energy with expertise’ and ‘couldn’t care less’ about their bottoming partner’s pleasure.

😍😍😍😍😍

a 24 year old can't definitely say" i'm only a top/bottom" they are just too young at that point

Song

Perpetually Top

Dominic Santos is so beautiful

Normal tops will suck your dick. The thing is, you have to have an actual, proper, fully grown man's penis, otherwise it's gross.

Tried bottoming once, didn’t like the mental image. I love being a top, and I’m a very considerate one — my bottoms always get to cum first.

They forgot to interview Xavier Dolan.

I'd like to bottom but I got a hemorrhoid the first time I tried it 11 years ago and it's never completely healed... I've been using Anusol daily for the last month in hopes I can rid myself of it once and for all and let my new boyfriend fuck me. I'll keep you all posted.

I had a boyfriend with a very nice long dong- and he was great at not destroying my ass with it, but it was a LOT of douching and prep work beforehand, kind of like a cross between an oil change and a murder scene-

and I finally got tired of him as a person so it wasn’t worth all that trouble.

TRUE STORY----I REFUSE to have a threesome with 2 bottoms....I have to do TWICE the work because they BOTH want me to fuck them?....No Way....Fuck you both because YOUR sorry gay relationship is unbalanced....I have also learned to avoid gay threesomes with guys who are a couple..Too much attention focused on ME because they are sick of each other....No Thank You...

Control

You idiots have no idea what dominance is. It's not taking, it's giving. If a bottom is willing to let me fuck them THEY are giving me control. That is a gift you cheris and take care of not piss all over. You car emore about their pleasure than your own. You know you can take them anytime you want because they gave you that power.

Hmmm

The guy on the right in the OP is in a favorite scene of mine. He's all bottom. The top cums in him after a minute of pumping. The look on his face as the top cums...

I must be an oral vers. I love to suck and be sucked, and I don't bottom.

My bf is a true total top. He fucks my mouth and asshole. He likes me to suck his cock, feet and eat his ass.

R165 has spent too much time at his local Eagle or other leather bar.

Take off your Halloween leather costume and just engage with people like a normal person instead of this role-playing dominant daddy bullshit. Nobody buys into that crap anymore except older damaged queens.

R170 is out of touch

Not true r170. See dating apps

Surprise

[quote] These days, R112, an "oral top" is a guy who sucks dick and fucks. It's 2 nouns, not a modifier and a noun.

I don't think all agree on that, R128. Half the people who call themselves that consider it to mean they are a" top" orally, meaning they only like to get sucked.

Too much thought. Just shut and fuck me.

Keep guessing which of us is which, you sad bitches. Hahahahaha.

Oral top usually means a dude who only gets sucked. No oral penis reciprocation, although he may eat butt

"Total Top" = "Domestic Abuser"

R178 I'll take one of each.

I love having my throat n ass abused by doms

Oh wow 😯

Scary Movie

[quote] Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland

This is when I stopped reading

That's a really shitty website that OP posted from

[quote]According to Baptist, true total tops generally ‘use dominant energy with expertise’ and ‘couldn’t care less’ about their bottoming partner’s pleasure.

This doesn’t sound good. This is basically rape.

They forgot Lazy Tops:

Tops who don't actually want to expend any effort, so expect the bottom to do all the work. They simply sit back and wait for the bottom to climb aboard and ride. It's not that they don't care about the bottom's pleasure. It's just that caring takes effort that the top isn't willing to expend.

That’s called being a man

R176 through R182, all bump bitches.

There is a sad poster on DL (and there may be more than one) who is wedded to the notion that there are "total tops" out there, gay men who only fuck or get sucked and offer no reciprocation at all, e.g., straight guys. There are shades of the whole alpha top thing in there too no doubt.

But mostly about self-hatred.

[quote]That’s called being a man

Some amusingly fucked up people around here....

I'm a total top because I don't find anal sex to be a turn-on, I'll fuck a guy if he wants, but I much prefer mutual oral.

I don't really care to be labeled, but if I was I would be a submissive total oral top. I love fucking and I love sucking dick and eating ass. I haven't bottomed in years. Just don't find it pleasurable. But choke me while you ride my dick and I will cum right away.

I'm a total bottom. I want to service a top and then have him fuck me. If a top wants to suck my dick or gives any indication that he wants to get fucked, then I'm out of there. If a guy shows me any kind of intimacy, I'm totally turned off to him, I don't want romance from a dude. The idea of it annoys me.

I don't care if he's a big nelly bottom with every other guy he's with, but don't bring that to me.

Now, I guess you'll all call me names and self loathing a bunch of other things. I see it as knowing what I want.

Thanks for chiming in, Dejure.

R188, tell that to all the guys like that on m4m dating ads. Total tops are the most desired on male dating apps

R192 is not exceptional; he is the norm in this regard

What about hemorrhoids? Some guys just have sensitive tushies, so topping makes a lot more sense for those men.

Bottoming is not something most men want to do, so it shouldn’t be a great mystery why some are total tops or activos

Not me, I love to bottom. It is one of the greatest pleasures ever.

[quote]Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top

WTF????

I used to top 90% of the time or so, it's still my favourite thing to do but as I want to expand my sexual repertoire I'm trying to get that down to 60 or 70%.

The truth most people don't mention: bottoming is much easier without a condom. So, yay prep.

That said, while I enjoy it more now I don't feel like it sends me into the kind of ecstasy it sends others. Maybe my prostate is just underdeveloped or something, but I'd love to know the secret of why it feels so good for some.

[quote] I used to top 90% of the time or so, it's still my favourite thing to do but as I want to expand my sexual repertoire I'm trying to get that down to 60 or 70%.

Do you use an app to keep track?

Wow 😯

I stopped reading at "Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian..... " good lord when did getting laid become a such a complicated process ???

R201. Not exactly. I do try and keep a running total of everyone I have slept with though. We all have a hint of autism in us.

R193 What bothers me about the posse of stalkers who constantly insist on talking about me is not that they diss me, but that they diss me inaccurately 90% of the time.

While I agree with R192 that I want a total top to service and then get fucked by, and I would be majorly turned off if he attempted to service me in any way (besides MAYBE a reach around while he's fucking me, but giving me a blowjob or wanting to be fucked by me is absolutely out of the question.)

But I disagree with R192 about intimacy and romance. I do want those things. In fact, I'm a hopeless romantic. I frequently criticize you all for being whores who have anonymous sex with guys whose names you don't even to know. If I disliked intimacy, I wouldn't be 5 years into a drought, I would just go out and find a guy to fuck me, lol. But I want to give myself completely over to a man and be his in every conceivable way, so that I literally worship the ground he walks on and during sex, he knows that he is being venerated for his supreme masculinity.

So yeah. If you guys absolutely must constantly diss me, can you please stop being so lazy and at least make an effort to get it right and diss me about things that are actually true?

r205 how is your body built? Do you have the body type that ultra masc guys normally go for (big ass, slim waist?)

R206 No.

Do total tops have a “type?”

We get it R204, you're a cumdump that can count.

Test yourself

I'm not versatile. I never want to be fucked. I will only fuck a man with my mighty tongue. Does that make me a Total Oral top? Or an ass-eating service pig?

Some people are top only for perfectly reasonable medical reasons. I fall under that, I just cant bottom. Happy to service a guy orally though if he wishes.... there is more to sex than just anal

How about most men don’t think being penetrated is pleasurable; they think it’s horribly painful. That’s not even considering the horribly strong stigma on being penetrated. It’s a wonder some men are willing to bottom despite these facts

I hear about all these vers guys, but my experience of 20 years was bottom after bottom. Growlr is full of married guys in two bottom relationships. Maybe I just attract them. Many cuties but bottoms all.

Must be tough for the total bottoms. Oversupply.

Total tops seem silly to me, I at least would bottom here and there. Must be a psychological thing.

I know a total top who has never sucked a cock.

[quote]Plus, I find the sex positions most bottoms end up in are unflattering and make me self conscious.

Now that boy is gay like Gay Gayerson, Ladyboy Mayoress of Gaytown.

Why DeFacto deserves to die alone and unloved.

R213: because it feels amazing when done right.

R213 Have you heard of this thing called fisting? There are a fair number of adherents who luuuuv it.

R218 it does feel amazing for quite a lot of people. But it IS horribly painful for others

Newsflash - not everybody is built the same, some people are different. Which is why as R219 points out (quite correctly), some people luuuuv fisting, but other people couldnt even contemplate it

I'm just not into anal, so neither I guess.

[quote]Total tops seem silly to me

That's because you're an idiot.

Surely this must contribute to trans violence.

Because it fucking hurts to have something stuck in my ass. Plus there is the whole ritual of cleaning oneself down there in preparation for penetration. Having said that I did have one experience, by a masseur, of prostrate stimulation which made me "get" the appeal of bottoming, but I was never able to re-create that. I must have been super-relaxed.

Total tops are a prized unicorn in the gay community.

They’re rapists.

What’s really idiotic is r222’s insistence that the US should adopt Muslim-style restrictions on extramarital and gay sex.

My ass is prolapsing as I type.

When you have a cock as big as mine, everyone becomes a bottom.

Isn't it boring to only be into oral and however else you pass the time? I'd miss a big finish.

Oral has its plusses. A mouth is always ready to go. Doesn't take hours to open up. Doesn't need relentless cleaning. Can always take it.

R231 is making it way more extra than it is lol. Wash back there, get some lube and loosen up in 15 mins tops. Good to go!🥰 It is not some long, drawn out ritual ffs.

He doesn’t have to like what you like

Competition

They don’t bottom because they’re tops. Duh. Same reason non-delusional bottoms don’t top.

Bump

Because there is no pleasure in bottoming and hurts like a motherfucker.

R237, there is definite pleasure.

I can be versatile, but prefer being bottom because it gives me more pleasure, especially if we're using condoms. When I go out for a date I always prepare for being a bottom, if it comes to that. The one time I didn't I really should have. (Don't ask for details.) Though if it turns out that I'm expected to top, and I really like the guy, then I will. Though I can seldom cum if I'm wearing a condom.

Wonder if an experienced bottom would give some lessons to a dedicated top, perhaps they too can enjoy both positions. Maybe not able to accomodate well-endowed top, but at least enough for an average sized guy. It will take a few times to get the hang of it, but imagine if it opens new pleasures. Wouldn't it be worth it?

I don’t willingly do anything painful, and I am not into being penetrated at all. The notion freaks me out

No pleasure and it hurts massively. WTF would I ever do it again?

Good reason

Perpetua, 29, non-binary lesbian, from Scotland I’m a total top because I love the sensation of bringing pleasure to my partner. I get so much joy from knowing that I’m making her feel good.

I am a total top.

Bottoming is ungodly. I do not thupport bottoming!

This dude accidentally superficially poked my Butt while we were messing around. It hurt like crazy. I’m amazed anyone willingly bottoms

[Quote]I don't know how you can keep a boyfriend or husband if you never ever bottom.

R4 You need to get out more. I know people in relationships who have never bottomed and their partner is perfectly fine with it.

Exactly. More gay and bi men are avoiding any anal

R247 you did a survey?

It’s a movement called “Sides.”

This survey is very biased. All these men are in their twenties. Most will give that ass up eventually.

Oh, OP. Thank you for sharing this important "scientific" research and its findings.

What a pile of crap.

It’s called I destroyed myself and no man helped do that.

Total Tops, Uncensored.

Bump

the idiocy of those that try to explain it more than I like

matched by the reaction of bottom whores and pillow princesses with poor self esteem

[quote] According to Baptist, true total tops generally ‘use dominant energy with expertise’ and ‘couldn’t care less’ about their bottoming partner’s pleasure. Total tops in general, on the other hand, are more forgiving.

"Forgiving"?

No, they bottomed.

Bottoms can be as selfish as total tops. Yeah, fuck me, but don't get clingy!

I have a friend who is a dominatrix, and she insists most of her clients are so-called alpha males who have to be dominant in their jobs or in social life and in her sessions with her, they desperately want to let go of all that responsibility and pressure and just let someone else be in charge including getting fucked with a strap on or have to suck some guy's cock on her demand. Apparently they also like role playing like getting some dog tail buttplug up their ass and crawl all over the floor and bark whenever she demands it. She says two of her clients are closeted furries who like to dress up as animal characters, and she gets paid to humor their fetish in some way (never bothered to asked how). I asked her if these guys like to dress up as maids and clean her studio, and she laughed and said that it happens, but unfortunately not as often as she expected it to happen when she started. She joked she still has to hire someone to clean her home and studio (where she entertains her clients) properly.

Being some total top, toxic alpha male hot shot is not what it's cracked up to be.