The Art Of Cruising

It was wonderful and you missed it.

I nearly fainted when I saw so many huge black cocks at the GCS mens room when I was a teen. It stank down there. Mid 80s I was working my first job in NYC after college. I hooked up with two regulars there. One was a mid 30yo stud working in advertising on Madison Avenue. If we ran into each other in the men's room he would motion to follow and take me to his office where we fucked on the floor because he had glass and was afraid some cleaner would catch us. God we were quite stupid, at least he was, to be doing that. But it was exciting. Then I had this other guy - he wore super expensive suits and must have been greek or Italian and was late middle aged and had a donkey dick and a look of pure sex. He would take me down into the lowest gates and out into a tunnel to FUCK. what idiots we were but it was undeniable hot.

A lot less video surveillance back then too.

Has everyone from that era died? I know there was massive amounts of cruising on the piers, but in the 60s and 70s those buildings were abandoned and nobody checked them. How did cruising take place in Grand Central?

R0 and R3 Also curious about cruising back then and how things have changed for those that cruise now.

I read about various places that still exist, but curious how guys go about cruising them these days. To be discreet do you just stop by once? You'd not want to arouse suspicion by going back and forth? Like if you were cruising GCT, you'd stop by each day after work and hope a guy was there at the same time?

Once just after graduating from college, I was connecting through MSP airport and stumbled on the rest room Larry Craig brought to fame. A hot pilot came up to urinal next to me and jacked off. Wow. I had a couple hour lay over and went back a few times but in after thought probably it wasn't wise.

I cruise all the time , but now it's in bars and saunas and sex clubs so it's different , and much safer ; I did cruise some public toilets - and had lots of fun in them - 20 years ago but it's much better to go to private cruise bars

R2 When cruising did guys just go into the restroom once per visit? Like on your way home, stop in and see what was going on before getting to your train? Or could you go in a few times? I read about hotel bathrooms being good spots too, but it seems like you'd only get one chance before the hotel staff would notice. Were guys more discreet in the old days?

R6 Love London. Love the troughs and wall urinals. Pissing with guys in pubs, train stations, etc.

Are there places where this actually happens in NYC anymore? I always hope I'll stumble upon something but I never have and I don't even know how to start. The thought of it is hot though; I'd love to just get my dick sucked on the way home every night!

There must be in Manhattan if I can get a BJ 95% of the time on my way home here in Chicago. Fit hung bi alpha lawyer working in the Chicago Loop here. I either have a biz traveler lined up and ready for me in his room on my walk to the train station or stop by a couple of hotel lobby restrooms or my gym locker room.

R8 Yes, of course. You just need to keep an eye out for it. Quality cock can be found it just takes some know how. You can go to the places everyone's seen listed online like the Port Authority where you in addition to all the homeless you'll see giant BBC's being jerked at the urinals. That's maybe good to watch, but too risky to do anything (both of getting caught and STI's!)

I work in Midtown and stop off at few restrooms on my way to and from work. Hotel lobbies can be the best...you'll find a cruisy one every now and then. Just don't make it obvious. I used to live not far from Grand Central and more than once convinced a commuted to come back to my place and take the next train home...

R8, forget the toilets. Go to a bar in a busy hotel late in the evening. Believe me, you will have no trouble picking up a guy.

It's still going on in steam rooms and showers. As well as public toilets where people write on toilet stalls about meeting each other at a certain time there. But I imagine you can't be that picky or will get no action at all. And I believe back then most of the cruisers were trolls, too.

R11 How late? What types of guys do you find?

I knew a handsome guy with a big dick who could get trade -- usually semi-straight on the Kinsey scale -- absolutely ANYWHERE. And really really quickly. To see him in action in making eye contact and seducing simply through his facial expressions was just astounding -- genius of a kind. One of those rare alpha males with a hyped up sexuality and a feline sixth sense of their surroundings that makes the rest of us seem like sleepwalkers. He would have been a brilliant spy or special operations agent. Instead, his X powers were used for cock, cock, cock! Now THAT would make Marvel film!

Oh and he also had enormous self confidence. Walked down a street like he owned it. Which in a way he did. I think that's one of factors that worked for him: straightish guys would kind of sense his alpha-male-ish ness and be intrigued by it, and then he'd use that as the seductive hook.

R11 what's an example of hotel with a busy bar you've had luck in?

Cruising is so much easier than the damn apps

Just FYI, we did a very similar thread recently that some may find to be of interest

R16 I could imagine a hotel like the Hilton on 6th or Marriott Marquis being good. Lots of horned by biz guys ready each evening.

Chicago: Think Palmer House, Marriott Bar, W Hotel, during conventions. The O'Hare Hilton bar is full of pilots etc.

I picked up a pilot at the O'Hare Hilton about ten years ago. Gah, he was a hot fuck. Wore me out.

R21: Were you staying there too? Did you meet at the bar?

Gays today will never experience the spontaneous rush of the cruise.

They only know the fleeting dopamine rush of a notification they received yet another dead-end message on Grindr asking for another 42 photos.

Meanwhile there is a stud right next to him 0 feet away doing the same thing.

Of course, they will say gays don’t need to hide out anymore because being atrapped to your phone is the epitome of liberation.

R22 I was staying there - there was a weather related layover and I got what the front desk said was one of the last five or six rooms. I saw him at check in - noticed him there. Hot guy, ex military, late 40s (my type). Caught a glance then and then again at the bar.

I've said it before on here and been told I'm a total liar, but I've always had much better luck with guys in so called straight bars, or places that are not necessarily identified as LGBT places. And airport bars are up there with "any conference anywhere ever" in terms of married men having an open buffet to cheat and have fun.

R13 and R16, by busy I mean a hotel that gets a lot of businessmen, conventions, and clients, as R20 said, pilots. 9, 10 o'clock is later in the evening for me.

This is true in any city. As a traveller, it has worked for me. Once in Munich, I came back to my hotel after dinner with friends. It must have been between 9-10 p.m. Went into the bar off the hotel lobby, sat at the bar and had a drink or two. Noticed a dark-haired man at the other end of the bar. Started to exchange glances with him. He was fit/fat type of guy. When I left, he followed me. Smiled and said hello at the elevator. Once inside the elevator, we started kissing, and he invited me to his room. We had a good time. Looking back (and as a word of advice), it's smart to let someone know you're going off with a stranger. I like to think that I have street smarts, but you never know.

It doesn't have to be a hotel bar. What works is to be chatty, friendly, and have some confidence in yourself. I like visiting the gay districts of towns I visit. I go to academic conferences that are usually in cities that have some gay district or neighborhood. In Chicago, for example, I had dinner early one evening at a nice restaurant in Boystown that the concierge recommended. Since I was alone I sat at the bar and chatted up the bartenders, flirting with one (dark-haired, fit/fat type...setting up a pattern here LOL). He in turn recommended a few places for me to visit, including "The Lucky Horseshoe" and "Sidetrack." At the latter, I chatted up a late 20 something guy. I like to flirt, and I flirted with him. He told me that he had been a figure- skater, but he had never amounted to much of one. I remember telling him that figure-skaters get nice butts from all that time on the ice and asking him if I could cop a feel of his. He wouldn't let me, but I could tell that he took it as a compliment. Knowing that I wasn't getting any further with him, I went of the "The Lucky Horseshoe." It's a bit of a dive, but...hell...what fun! Stood back and enjoyed the show. One of the dancers was the kind of guy I like (not yet fit/fat...looked more like he had been a jock in high school or college). At this place you can hug or slow dance with the guys. Tipping helps. I got to do that with him. He let me feel him up, and even put my hand down his jock. He even let me kiss him, but not on the lips. When I asked why, he told me he was married. I respected his boundaries, and had a grand old time!!!

Leaving the strip joint, I was euphoric from the good time I had had that evening. And I was horned up. I went back to the restaurant I had started the evening at to thank the bartender for his recommendations. It was just about closing time there. I had a beer, and in the course of the conversation, he offered to go back to my hotel with me. And the rest was history...

So, I don't know if I'm an expert at cruising, but it works for me. There are plenty of times cruising doesn't work. I'll go home to Mr. Red Palm and his Five Friends. And that's okay. When it works, it's a combination of factors illustrated in my adventure in Chicago's Boystown one evening. I'm reasonably good-looking. I exercise regularly. If I go out, I make sure I'm well-dressed and well-groomed. But it's attitude that's key. Be friendly, be confident, and especially be interested in what the object of your affection/lust has to say. Listen more than talk! I might have hooked up with a guy in Munich with more knowing looks than talking. But I had a far greater time and more success in Chicago just experiencing the nightlife and conversing with guys.

Next weekend is the Pride Parade and various events where I live. There's a boutique hotel in the middle of the town and a small gay-owned hotel with a small bar and restaurant. I plan to stop in at both places. Wish me luck!

It is the rare guy who looks back at me with "cruising" eyes that doesn't creep me the hell out. He would have to be JUST my type. Otherwise, men just look salacious and stupid when they do it. Predatory. I cruise all the time and never miss seeing a handsome man but the whole "eye contact" thing is skeevy. I'm usually "What the hell are you looking at, you serial killer?" Is my FLY open? LOL Now, give me a social situation, a party or chatting with someone at a bar (the above poster is spot on about hotel bars!) and I am in my element. But the furtive "lock eyes" thing? Never been my style.

Cruising is an art, a seventh sense.

Somehow, I amm very, very good at it, but I would have a hard time explaining it or teaching it to someone else.

It kind of is, r27. I remember in the public bathroom thread someone said they wouldn’t have known the other person was cruising based on the cues alone.

My reply was, “if you were there for the same reason, you’d pick up the signs.” By necessity, they’re subtle signs, but they’re there.

Well, cruising in a bathroom does require some basic knowledge of the signs. And, y'know, if a guy is moving his hand up and down on his cock at a urinal, pretty solid evidence that he's cruising!

Cruising in a bar, or trying to send out signals of interest - especially if you're not in a specific cruising area or LGB space - that definitely relies a little more on that seventh sense.

Atlanta hotels?

R26. Can you describe some of the scenarios that happened to you in hotel bars and afterwards?

Anybody make a wrong call and get beat up?

[quote]Anybody make a wrong call and get beat up?

Well, if I’m calling someone, they’re obviously not near me, so it would be hard to be beat up, no?

locker rooms

[quote] Anybody make a wrong call and get beat up?

I never did, but in terms of obvious cruising spaces, that's hard to do.

In terms of interacting with guys like the airline pilot.....I let him make the first move. I think a key thing with any guy like that is that I let them think it was their idea, that they were in the drivers' seat......even if I'd sort of nudged the conversation along a certain path to get the result I wanted.

Most cruisy restrooms are somewhat secluded -- down a hallway, off in a corner, on a basement level, etc. Standing at a urinal is the standard behavior, using peripheral vision to see if the other guy is checking you out. Wash basins are another place to gauge interest. Fat and/or ugly "trolls" sit in stalls for hours and ruin the whole situation, especially if security checks in occasionally.

Hotel bars in large American cities are normally laid out differently than neighborhood bars. There are usually sofas, chairs, coffee tables, with low lighting. I usually manspread in a chair, order a drink, and make eye contact. If he smiles or I catch him checking me out, I'll nod or smile. If I am feeling adventurous, I'll get up and mouth "hey" on the way to the restroom or get another drink at the bar. When I get to the point I know I shouldn't drink any more, I'll jot my first name and room number on a piece of paper and discreetly hand it to him on my way out. This has worked about 75% of the time, even when he is in a group of co-workers or friends.

On a side note, apps have fundamentally changed how guys seek a hook up. Cruising is how you found instant sex. The reward of cruising means assessing what is in front of you. Sometimes you go home unfulfilled, for whatever reason. Most of the time you take the opportunity in front of you and enjoy yourself. On Grindr, guys spend, literally, hours looking at the same profiles and never actually meet up. They seemingly set one guy as their goal and pester him until he logs off or blocks them. In my experience, I get on Grindr around the time bars close. A different bunch shows up nearby, probably on their way home, and looking to pop by for an encounter.

[quote]The reward of cruising means assessing what is in front of you. Sometimes you go home unfulfilled, for whatever reason. Most of the time you take the opportunity in front of you and enjoy yourself. On Grindr, guys spend, literally, hours looking at the same profiles and never actually meet up.

This is so true. Plus, with porn being at your fingertips at all times, guys who, in the past would actively seek to hook up rather than go home without, can now find a quiet spot to easily rub one out before going home. Years ago that wasn’t an option unless you had not only a VCR in a room accessible to you (that is, not the family living room), but also a porn to play on that VCR.

Nowadays, and I’ve done this myself, it’s a lot easier to just say, “fuck it, I’ll go home and rub one out.”

R36 I've never enjoyed any of the sites/apps for the reason(s) you describe.

Most guys circle around in a spiral of whiny ambivalence...."oh, should I? But no, but YES! But no....." and it just kills the mood and any potential for a hookup. I think at least 50 percent of the guys on an app just want your nudes and/or for you to type something dirty to them so they can pop a nut and log off.

When you're at a cruising space, or any place like what we've talked about above, you at least have more direct feedback. The game is ON. It's always more likely to result in some actual hot playtime.

And I don't mean to sound like it ALWAYS works or that it's ALWAYS 100 percent perfect porn studs. There's always a wipeout here and there. The hot guy who ends up having a case of whiskey dick, or the one who gets to my room, blows me and then says, "Have you ever thought about repenting for your sins? My wife and I run a program....." But more often then not, it works for me.

I want to hear more about the guy at R14/15. What did he look like? What was his job? What does he do now?

Me too...I wanna hear about R14/R15's friend and his masculine alphaness.

R14/R15/R40 I'd like to hear too.

Re: Hotel Bars good for cruising...any London hotels that would be good? Or areas around London that are good?

In the 1980's the downstairs (original) men's room was somewhat abandoned and broken down. But you could still see the remnants of the golden age of train travel. Showers, barber areas, hats steamed and blocked. In a beautiful marble-sheathed and tiled setting.

By the 1980's all of that was abandoned and just left to be a basic toilet. Rows of urinals for showing off. Even the stalls were missing their doors. Lots of guys down there smoking crack, partying and sucking cock. Guys walking around naked because there were no cameras and no security.

When Grand Central was restored that was closed off and the new style men's rooms were installed by the food court. I sometimes wonder if the old men's room is still there as a time capsule...

Some years ago a friend at work who was quite "out and proud" was traveling to San Francisco for a week-long vacation. When he came back to work, his face was all bandaged up and swollen, and he had a black eye. When we asked him what happened he said he "got mugged," and refused to tell us anything further. All the women in the office felt so sorry for him. The gay men in the office felt sorry for him, but none of us believed that he got mugged; we all thought that he got caught cruising in the wrong place at the wrong time, and with the wrong guy.

R2 must've been in the #7 subway station, GCS. OP asked about Grand Central Terminal, above the subway station.

The best urinals for cruising/cockwatching are definitely in northern Europe (London, rest of UK, Germany, etc). So many urinals that area just troughs or that don't have dividers. And if there are dividers, they are more pee shields that anyone can see right over. Best thing is, those British guys are used to it and have no fear of whipping it out and pissing. So many love to show off. I was at a small theatre there last week with two urinals side by side and low divider that shielded nothing from sight. A hot late twenties guy came in an started peeing next me. He then started using his cell phone and peeing hands free obviously showing off to me. A little back and forth until someone else came in and he zipped up and left. I got that a lot over there. British change rooms can be the best too! Giant open rooms with lockers on one wall only and one big open gang type shower off the side. Love it!

I have never understood why anyone would want to have sex in a toilet since they are uncomfortable and filthy, and smell of piss and shit.

R47 I don't think most guys are having full on sex in toilets. Just wanking fun, checking each other out, blowing a load.

I learned everything that is important about old school cruising from an undercover Al Pacino, in leather.

This all seems so exhausting.

Thank god I have a husband and don’t have to do this for sex

Hotel bars are the best.

I travel for work and most every hotel bar I find a married dude who sucks me off.

R52 Which hotel bars have you had luck in? List off a few for us

Train stations everywhere along the Shore Line from New York to Boston, even before Amtrak: Boston's North Station was the best, Back Bay second busiest and South Station the most heavily patrolled. Providence was local talent and Brown students, New London was Coast Guardsmen, New Haven black kids and Yale kids, and Latino dick in Bridgeport. There may have been dick in Rye, but I never got off there.

Crowne Plaze on B-way NY.

Hyatt Place Denver, Dallas, Austin, Minneapolis

Sheraton, New Orleans, Hyatt (Canal Place) New Orleans

Hilton, Budapest

Mercure, Rome

We could be here all day. I travel for work and when I stay in the hotel I go to the bar for a glass of wine and the married men are easy pickings. It usually begins with stretch and the guy who sits with me asks if I am stiff ans sore from the flight, I get offered a backrub and we go upstairs and it goes from there. It is easier than picking up rocks on the beach.

Marriott in Downtown Chicago. Chicago Athletic Association hotel. Palmer House Hilton.

Didn't get much into the T-room cruising when I lived in NYC. Not to say I never did it, but I was much more of an outdoors guy. Central Park (the Rambles) , Riverside Park (from the 70s to the 90s) , the piers, the trucks, the parks out in the boroughs (Prospect Park in Brooklyn, Pelham Park in the Bronx, Forest Park in Queens), Jones Beach field 6, or the cabanas in the big bathhouse out there.

And yes, the streets and the subways. Manhattan is a walking city. That's how people get around. And then think about the subway for a second. If it's not rush hour, you're sitting in a car for 20 minutes, and if someone attractive is directly opposite you your eyes will lock and other parts will be checked out. On the street, men often approached me or signaled me that they were interested in sex. Sometimes I'd follow them, sometimes they'd follow me. I was shy, so I never actually went up to someone and told him I thought he was attractive, but that happened to me fairly often. The problem with street cruising is that often neither person was close to his apartment, so there was no place to follow through. This was all happening in the early 1980s. AIDS and then the internet brought most of that to an end, but I left NY in 1984, so I didn't see the death of that scene in person.

I cruised outdoor areas in other parts of the country too, after I left NYC, but that was more of a waiting game, since there were not the massive populations of gay people swarming through that you could find in the city. Seems to me that by the mid-late 90s, public cruising was rapidly dying away, at least on the scale that it existed in earlier times.

R55 What are your general looks/fitness level?

Some here just seem to want to be turned on …. oh, oh, oh, dicks in public, how exciting. Well I don't know how exciting it was, but cruising was convenient and easy sex, Grand Central Station was fun before all the changes …. past the shoeshine stand down those steps. To the left were changing rooms/w sinks … remember GSS was a huge travel terminal. It's -- always in any large or small men's bathroom, a hotel, subway station, bar -- always the same …. i you walk in and a guy is standing at the urinal and doesn't rush off when you come in, you can guess he's out for dick. If you walk by the closed stall doors and look into the cracks and inside a guy is sitting there moving about looking out to see who is there, you can guess he's a player. In a busy bathroom area a straight guy rushes in to pee and does so and then goes off quickly, he doesn't stand around looking side to side or stays playing with himself. I'd go into GSS, did so at all hours, One Saturday afternoon I went down, a guy was there and we clicked, I went home with him, we were a couple for six months, he dumped me, about three years later we met again as no-sex buddies, had a house in The Pines for four years. Stayed good friends till he died. After The Pines times another Saturday evening, 10-ish, I checked GSS and at the urinal walked out with a college guy. We were lovers for seven years. When the Hilton Hotel was new it was fun. two bathrooms on floors 2 and 3. Guys would walk back and oath …. again, a guy standing at the urinal, if you liked him and you clicked, you could get it on in a stall or go home. Or go in one of the interior stairways. Cruising is easy. You huts look at a guy and if you like him and quickly click, there's no need to talk if you don't want to, you ust go do it. London toilets are easy …. guys standing at urinals, well, you know, little reason to hang around unless you're looking for dick. No matter all the apps today, street cruising is ok …. you pass, look, click ot not. If a guy wants you you'll know. If you pass someone in a department store and head for a toilet and he follows you …. well …. However, if your main worry is your general look/fitness level, you might lack nerve to put yourself on the line. That's all it is, getting out there, you want sex and hope someone wants you. No matter what you look like.

Jesus, r59!

Paragraphs are your friend!

Also, R59, if "if your main worry is your general look/fitness level" you're not that smart.

Your main worry these days should be the video surveillance.

I think the public bathroom scene has abated somewhat- certainly because of hookup sites. You can go on line and find the guy across the room looking at your profile etc.

Cruising is still there- of course. Just do it! You know it when you see it and of course it can be very exciting. It ain't just gay men who do it. It's universal and perhaps the most sure fire way to make a connection, in any setting. And yes it has abated a bit for the same reason as above- that and the ubiquitous headsets and phone obsessions that keep people in their own worlds even when out and about.

R58 Decent looking guy, very fit. I don't carry fat at all. And I have all my hair. Being of Persian extraction does not hurt, I think I am seen as exotic to midwestern white boys who like long lashes and dark (but never black) skin.

R56 Very fit, I carry not fat but I think my best asset is that I am persian. Long lashes slightly exotic for midwestern married boys to suck off.

It seems to me anyone worrying about paragraphs lacks the simple skill of reading and comprehending. Those not fit are probably old farts who don't get out much, have no sex. Jesus, r58 and r 59, if you're gay there has to be more to it than sitting alone at home listening to Judy Garland.