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Something every 20-something should know about life

An advice thread if you will

by Anonymousreply 12903/14/2019

SAVE YOUR MONEY

by Anonymousreply 103/06/2019

R1 true

by Anonymousreply 203/06/2019

Learn to search for similar threads before posting yours.

Also, what R1 said.

by Anonymousreply 303/06/2019

"Drive fast and talk back to the cops"

by Anonymousreply 403/06/2019

Beauty FADES, stupid is FOREVER.

Hit the books. Liddle Kiddles!

by Anonymousreply 503/06/2019

daddy will always love you

by Anonymousreply 603/06/2019

Vote Democrat

by Anonymousreply 703/06/2019

R3 yeah nobody cares

by Anonymousreply 803/06/2019

This has been learnt the hard way, don't let people who have hurt you run your life. The kid who called me 'fatty-boombah" has forgotten they ever did it, no need for me to take that insult on board and either starve myself or sink into the couch in a sea of ice cream wrappers. The boyfriend who cheated, the friend who didn't pay back a loan, the poor performance review etc...it's just stuff that happened and hurt at the time.

by Anonymousreply 903/06/2019

I can't really give advice that is really specific to you without verificatia.

by Anonymousreply 1003/06/2019

never let assholes mess up your life

if someone IS AN ASSHOLE 86 them

never be a liar

respect your self

love your self

take care of your self before anyone else

love all animals

know the difference between love and sex

remember everyone is going through something close to unbearable so a smile goes a long way whether it is returned or not....... be kind.

be kind

be kind

what people do, say and think has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with them.

let go or be dragged

forget those who forget you

never keep trying to invest yourself in anyone who lied to you, cheated on you and disrespected you.

by Anonymousreply 1103/06/2019

Save, save, save. First get the company match if offered. Then save every raise - you didn't have it before, go without it now. Learn about investing - don't go on some dope's advice.

by Anonymousreply 1203/06/2019

You'll regret the things (and people) you didn't do a lot more than the ones you did.

by Anonymousreply 1303/06/2019

Take good care of your teeth and your knees.

by Anonymousreply 1403/06/2019

R13, the problem with that is that if you do the ones you passed on, then they become part of the group that you won't regret.

by Anonymousreply 1503/06/2019

If you have an office job, put your name on every piece of your work that is practical. Also put the date, including the year, on everything.

by Anonymousreply 1603/06/2019

Don’t collect crap. Someday you will lose interest and be stuck with boxes full of worthless stuff.

by Anonymousreply 1703/06/2019

Don't be hung up on attraction in a partner. It fades, if not on your end, theirs. Think more strategically and pragmatically. If someone is not as attractive to you, but has money, don't hold out for true love!! You will not regret this. Treat others kindly. Be generous with praise--it costs nothing to have an attitude of gratitude and reaps great rewards.

by Anonymousreply 1803/06/2019

It's all bull shit. All of it. Everything you were taught to believe and believe in is total shite. Follow the money trail in everything because that is all this world is really about.

by Anonymousreply 1903/06/2019

Don’t pop it. Don’t scratch it. Wash it.

Your skin remembers everything your shenanigans have put it through.

by Anonymousreply 2003/06/2019

Stay in well lit areas, never travel alone whenever possible, ALWAYS wipe front to back, and remember, never EVER believe someone when they tell you that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crab infestation.

by Anonymousreply 2103/06/2019

Read books containing wise counsel. Go to alux.com, put education in the search box, and read the output.

Don't let hedonism and the pursuit of sex rule your life, and protect your health as a top priority.

Have a 5/10/20 year life plan.

Be diiscerning and ruthless if need be as to whom you let into your life.

Don't take up bad habits, eg, smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling and overeating, as they are a lot harder to stop than to start.

by Anonymousreply 2203/06/2019

Don't take relationships too seriously. Get your own job, own place, own car, own checking account and insurance... and be an independent person.

by Anonymousreply 2303/06/2019

life has a very simple plot

1st you're here

then you're not

by Anonymousreply 2403/06/2019

You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there...

by Anonymousreply 2503/06/2019

There's no disease a little bloodletting can't heal.

by Anonymousreply 2603/06/2019

Don’t do dead end jobs pay check to pay check to survive. Really find out what you wanna do as soon as possible

People you associate that are hot messes only bring you down eventually. Even if they are fun to be with they lead you no where

Date older and more successful. It prop won’t work out but you will learn a lot.

Find a mentor

Learn a 2nd language

Travel

Wear sunscreen.

Don’t be a sheep. Everyone is a little sheep sometime. Recognize it, value your own independent thought

Be as vulnerable as possible

by Anonymousreply 2703/06/2019

This thread is redundant, 20- somethings don't listen or take advice, they know it all, they just have to learn these lessons the hard way.

by Anonymousreply 2803/07/2019

Always blow dry your feet and secret garden after you take a shower to get completely dry and sweat free

by Anonymousreply 2903/07/2019

Life is not going to be fair to you. Accept it and learn to deal with it.

by Anonymousreply 3003/07/2019

Get your face out of your fucking phone, meet people, and live life.

by Anonymousreply 3103/07/2019

If you hold grudges and obsess, your life will be a pit of misery and you'll end up unloved and alone, with no one to blame but yourself. Let it go.

Wear sunscreen. That tan might look hot now, but avoiding wrinkles and skin cancer would be far sexier.

Be kind to animals. Don't associate with people who aren't, they all have mental issues that will never go away.

Please save some of your money. I know Buzzfeed tells you that all of those gee-gaws are absolutely essential for you to be able to breathe, but that's bullshit. You know what's essential? Having a retirement fund.

Loving someone won't change them. Change of any kind is a choice that person must make, over and over, every day until they die. They have to not only want to change but to be willing to do the work, on a daily basis. If you think you loving them or them loving you will magically change them into a better person, you're a fool.

If your partner is mentally ill, you will most likely become more of a parental figure than lover or equal partner to them. If that's ok with you, great. If the idea of it makes you sick inside, don't date them or break it off. Your love will not 'cure' them.

Always keep at least a fourth a tank of gas in your vehicle.

Be wary of what you post on-line. The internet is forever.

by Anonymousreply 3203/07/2019

Take a risk.

by Anonymousreply 3303/07/2019

Don’t expect any help from Susan Dey.

by Anonymousreply 3403/07/2019

Become an excellent swimmer. One day you might have to rescue yourself or somebody else. It's also great, inexpensive exercise.

by Anonymousreply 3503/07/2019

Always be an anonymous cum dump. One day nobody’s will want your used up hole

by Anonymousreply 3703/07/2019

Eat desert first.

by Anonymousreply 3803/07/2019

erm, dessert

by Anonymousreply 3903/07/2019

Cultivate hobbies, interests, fun things you like to do. Things that don't necessarily require another person standing beside you. Too many people wait and wait for their 'other half' to walk into their life to start living. You're not half a person; live a life.

by Anonymousreply 4003/07/2019

R19 YES. Save your money. That is number one. R27 "Don’t do dead end jobs pay check to pay check to survive. Really find out what you wanna do as soon as possible"

"People you associate that are hot messes only bring you down eventually. Even if they are fun to be with they lead you no where"

YUP.

by Anonymousreply 4103/07/2019

Turn off your phone and practice stillness/meditation. Save your money. See your Dr. every year. Take care of your teeth. Be a good friend. Practice kindness. Get out of your head and focus on others. Give more love than you receive.

by Anonymousreply 4203/07/2019

You don't know shit. You think you do but time will prove you wrong.

by Anonymousreply 4303/07/2019

20s? I will talk to young me then I guess......Beauty, Body, Brains, they are in abundance. Fuck your GUTS out, travel ALOT, KNOW that when you are 50 and 60 and 70, you will be an entirely different person, and you will not even be recognizable as that 20 year old. Again FUCK YOUR GUTS OUT because when you are older, you become invisible, no matter how hot you think you are. You should still have some youthful idealism, passion, and verve, good, USE IT. Nothing wrong with it, go for it. And try to be kind to people and yourself, because when you are very old, those people will still be your friends,

by Anonymousreply 4403/07/2019

I would say don’t obsess about sex and finding “the one”. I look back at all the sex as a distraction from important things. So incredibly time spent chasing dick was not helpful. Fun and I don’t discourage it - but not a goal in life.

Similarly, don’t make finding a husband a goal. Meet people and eventually find someone compatible. Love and romance can be misleading - as marriage and long term companionship require a different set of attributes than lust.

Don’t worry so much. Work hard and plan - but don’t waste your life in fear.

Don’t stay trapped where you were born. Live different places in your 20s before deciding where you want to be. Don’t let family tie you down.

by Anonymousreply 4503/07/2019

Whatever your profession, trust no one at work. Human Resources is NOT your friend. Chances are, they already know about the theft, drug use, and sex going on in your department, and they don't care.

by Anonymousreply 4603/07/2019

^^^ because they're in on it

by Anonymousreply 4703/07/2019

Bump

by Anonymousreply 4803/07/2019

Be kind to your knees.

by Anonymousreply 4903/07/2019

Even if you can’t afford to travel, and as far and as wide as you can, even if you have to do it by yourself.

by Anonymousreply 5003/07/2019

I know it's cliche, but it's been the best advice I've ever heard, because it's so true... when someone shows or tells you who they are, believe them, and believe them the first time. They know themselves better than you ever could.

by Anonymousreply 5103/07/2019

R51 is smart

by Anonymousreply 5203/07/2019

Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 5303/07/2019

Bump

by Anonymousreply 5403/07/2019

Should you live past 60, you'll look back and realize that you should have paid attention to everything said on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 5503/07/2019

[quote]Eat desert first.

I was a good boy and ate desert [italic]last[/italic].

by Anonymousreply 5603/07/2019

The “when someone shows who they are, believe them” is too vague. What does that mean? I don’t like advice that is a cliche masquerading as insight.

by Anonymousreply 5703/08/2019

Be kind, rewind!

by Anonymousreply 5803/08/2019

What it means, R58; is do not pursue r'ships after you have seen that someone has a bad character from their actions. People generally do not change.

by Anonymousreply 5903/08/2019

What it means to me R57 is that when being around someone causes little red flags to wave even distantly in your head, take note. Or challenge what caused them.

All too often, going along to get along means we - I - ignore said flags, or maybe just dismiss them as alarmism. Often the flags get larger, and we're in deeper than we want to be.

by Anonymousreply 6003/08/2019

Do not get into a relationship expecting to change someone. You cannot make them change, so don’t think you can. If something so dire needs to be changed on that person that it will bother you, don’t get involved.

Don’t get by on just your looks. They WILL fade. I know you don’t believe it now, but they will.

Try not to take negative things (even big things) too seriously. One day you will look back on it and see things in a completely different light. I assure you, what looks like the end of the world now, truly isn’t.

by Anonymousreply 6103/08/2019

R11 lovely and inspiring post

by Anonymousreply 6203/08/2019

If/when you get a partner, don’t complain about him/her to your family and friends. You may forgive your partner, but your loved ones never will. They will despise your partner long after you have forgotten what the offense was. And once you’ve told them, you can’t take that back.

Excepting major life-changing matters, perhaps. I’m not even sure about this one.

by Anonymousreply 6303/08/2019

Another aspect of the "believe someone when they tell you who they are" is sometimes people come right out and say it. When a person says "I'm mean" or "I'm not a good person" we tend to think they're just being hard on themselves, but keep in mind, that person knows what goes on in their heads, and what their actions are when no one is looking. Then you have the "I'm a nice guy" types. Nobody who's really a nice guy needs to tell people. Everyone I've ever met who says any of the above things has been a truly horrible person.

by Anonymousreply 6403/08/2019

One more, if someone tells you that most people don't like them, or you notice that, or hear it from others, pay heed. Observe and be very wary. People aren't always roundly disliked because they're bad people, sometimes there are other reasons, but often it is because they're bad people, so don't be quick to feel sorry for them & befriend. Proceed with great caution.

by Anonymousreply 6503/08/2019

Stick to your own kind, one of your own kind!

by Anonymousreply 6603/08/2019

You can't play Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon to put off growing up (and coming out) forever. Far better to grow up, grow a pair, tell your controlling and manipulative family to fuck off, and live your own life.

by Anonymousreply 6703/08/2019

No one will love you as much as your mother.

by Anonymousreply 6803/08/2019

[quote] The “when someone shows who they are, believe them” is too vague. What does that mean? I don’t like advice that is a cliche masquerading as insight.

Another example is when a prospective partner talks about an ex-BF and how he treated the ex-BF (cheated on him, borrowed money from the ex and didn't repay, etc.). Don't expect different treatment.

by Anonymousreply 6903/08/2019

My mother’s crazy. Can’t stand her

by Anonymousreply 7003/08/2019

R69 is so right. If he cheated on any of his exes, he WILL cheat on you. Count on it.

by Anonymousreply 7103/08/2019

My mother was crazy too. A child abuser. I couldn't wait for her to die. I wish I could go back and tell nineteen year old me to cut her off then when I moved to NYC. She was toxic as fuck. I literally still have nightmares that she comes back to life. It's horrible.

by Anonymousreply 7203/08/2019

The "fat" you think you are now you'd sell your mother for in the future.

by Anonymousreply 7303/08/2019

One of my fav’s. When you’re in a serious relationship, the first one to two years are as good as it’s going to get. Really let that sink in — that’s the honeymoon period, and the relationship will never be better than that. It can mature and progress and be good too — but all the little things that bothered you OR that you minimize during the honeymoon phase will not be cute in ten years, nor will they be easy to ignore.

You don’t need a ton of kitchen gadgets. Invest in one amazing knife.

Read, read, read. Never stop learning.

Get out of your comfort zone and serve the poor, even if it’s just once a month. Serve at a food pantry for example (a good one that treats guests with great dignity). And commit to going to the same place for at least a year so you get to know the regulars.

When you marry, you marry the family. God help you if his family is insane, you’ll never escape.

Live and let live.* *The exception being Trumper’s.

Get the best education you can financially justify and aim for liberal arts as much as possible within your major. The Jesuits have mastered this, follow their lead for a broad, well-rounded education.

by Anonymousreply 7403/08/2019

Learn to speak with proper elocution, and use it for the rest of your life.

by Anonymousreply 7503/08/2019

Get a money market account, IRA, mutual funds, etc. and stockpile your money, otherwise you'll be 80 years old and still have to work. Don't even think social security is enough.

by Anonymousreply 7603/08/2019

Bump

by Anonymousreply 7703/12/2019

[quote]If/when you get a partner, don’t complain about him/her to your family and friends. You may forgive your partner, but your loved ones never will. They will despise your partner long after you have forgotten what the offense was. And once you’ve told them, you can’t take that back.

This is a really good point (and I bet you've got a story to go along with it...).

by Anonymousreply 7803/13/2019

The love of your life might be sitting right next to you. Think before looking for something "better".

by Anonymousreply 7903/13/2019

[quote] You can't play Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon to put off growing up (and coming out) forever. Far better to grow up, grow a pair, tell your controlling and manipulative family to--

by Anonymousreply 8003/13/2019

Physical aspects of a person and a r'ship are important, but for a stable partnership, what really counts is character. It takes 5 years to know all sides of a person, but if someone shows you that they can be cruel, selfish, dishonest, unfaithful, combative, self-destructive etc, etc, count them out as a serious prospect.

by Anonymousreply 8103/13/2019

Your metabolism will slow down sooner than you think.

PrEP doesn't stop herpes and all that other mess.

Save and invest.

Don't let all that be a buzzkill.

by Anonymousreply 8203/13/2019

When the time comes to buy a refrigerator, buy one of the ones with the freezer at the bottom even if it costs a bit more.

by Anonymousreply 8303/13/2019

Remember your utter insignificance from a cosmological perspective. Oh, and hire people with hooks.

by Anonymousreply 8403/13/2019

Lots of good advice in this thread not just for 20-somethings but for everyone at all ages. Good advice never gets old.

by Anonymousreply 8503/13/2019

Learn to forgive and try to give people a second chance. If you remove people from your life who have at one point let you down badly, said something that hurt you, betrayed a trust or were just plain mean then you will be pretty much left with no-one.

by Anonymousreply 8603/13/2019

Which isn’t bad^.

by Anonymousreply 8703/13/2019

Comparing yourself to other people is a huge waste of time. Limit the time you spend on social media and grindr, both are toxic.

by Anonymousreply 8803/13/2019

Be honest, always.

Save your money.

Recognize who your true friends are. Drop the ones who care only for themselves.

Learn to forgive. Grudges only eat away at you.

Good grooming matters.

by Anonymousreply 8903/13/2019

Save your money. Your fifties will be here before you know it.

Cut down on possessions or they will own you.

Travel now but budget for it. Travel light.

If you have heavy undergraduate debt pay it off before you do graduate work unless there is immediate payoff in terms of well paying jobs.

Get good friends and treat them well . Remember friendship is mutual. You are no one's office assistant doing all the work making reservations etc.

by Anonymousreply 9003/13/2019

EAT THE RICH

by Anonymousreply 9103/13/2019

Fall in love, and fully devote yourself to someone.

Listen to punk rock.

by Anonymousreply 9203/13/2019

As mentioned before, make a point of teaching yourself how to earn, save, budget, and invest your money intelligently. It doesn't matter how much money you have if you piss it all away (or get conned out of it.)

Don't worry too much about beauty. Concentrate on your health, physical and mental. The beauty will follow.

Never define your worth by who will or won't fuck you.

Never be afraid of getting older. Every time of life has its advantages. Learn how to appreciate them.

by Anonymousreply 9303/13/2019

Savor your youth. Be bold.

by Anonymousreply 9403/13/2019

Don’t do social media

Don’t get a tattoo

Don’t drink

Don’t smoke

Get a degree that’s practical like nursing or engineering. Computer science.

by Anonymousreply 9503/13/2019

You only go around once.

by Anonymousreply 9603/13/2019

Looking for a partner you want to grow old with - and who will treat you with respect and not break your heart? Try this:

Ignore the six pack, the guns, the "8 inches soft" and give the slightly overweight accountant a call. They are the ones who are not focussed on looks and "likes" and are building a solid career and want to settle down and be faithful.

by Anonymousreply 9703/13/2019

Move to Paris and study art. Have an affair with an older man. Settle down when you're ready. (But never get too settled.)

by Anonymousreply 9803/13/2019

Go to college but don't care about it. Go for parties, drinking, and drugs.

by Anonymousreply 9903/13/2019

Mistake^.

by Anonymousreply 10003/13/2019

Know thyself. Go to therapy in your 20s to help understand yourself and your strengths/weaknesses and underlying issues. Don’t try to find “the one” - find yourself and a partner (or more likely, a series of partners) will come along.

I would say “fear less”. I am a worrier - so a lot of this fear-based advice was bad for me. I was so afraid of going broke or making a wrong move, it prevented me from living fully. Some people aren’t worriers - they should heed the above advice. But if you’re an anxious person, try to stop worrying too much and go to therapy.

by Anonymousreply 10103/13/2019

Don't collude.

by Anonymousreply 10203/13/2019

Time solves all problems.

by Anonymousreply 10303/13/2019

You all realize that your just giving advice to your long gone 20 something self right? Nobody in their 20's is going to listen to this advice at all. Their frontal cortex (responsible for rational thought) isn't even fully developed yet. I've tried giving advice to 30 somethings, and they just give a blank stare and go back to their phones. I've given up for my own mental health.

by Anonymousreply 10403/13/2019

[quote]When the time comes to buy a refrigerator, buy one of the ones with the freezer at the bottom even if it costs a bit more.

Why? I ask because I’m in the market for a new ‘fridge and am still deciding. I like the French doors with freezer on the bottom, but it’s not a must. My mother has a freezer on the bottom and I’m not crazy about it, so I was wondering what your take was.

by Anonymousreply 10503/13/2019

As you grow older, time goes by much faster.

It really does.

by Anonymousreply 10603/13/2019

Exercise regularly: not necessarily to build muscle and look hotter, but to keep your blood pressure, weight and general wellbeing under control. It will improve your mental health too.

Do some regular social thing, like a sport, volunteering, a book group, whatever.

Read a lot, expose yourself to all different kinds of art.

If you can afford it, take a couple of years in your twenties to do something adventurous and fun that you'll look back on fondly years later (in my case I taught English on three continents). Be the guy at a party with a story to tell.

Keep in touch with your family and value the connection, especially the older members, unless they are batshit crazy/psycho/evil.

by Anonymousreply 10703/13/2019

Have a positive attitude (this helps in all aspects of your life) Save and invest (please get how important this is as everyone is saying how important it is) Be considerate (treat people the way they want to be treated) Love yourself, protect yourself and forgive yourself (you should be your biggest fan) Build your network and ask for help when you need help (again, this can help in all aspects of your life) Enjoy life and try to remember that every single day...

by Anonymousreply 10803/13/2019

Grrr....I hate how the spacing doesn't work sometimes (hopefully this is an easier read)

Have a positive attitude (this helps in all aspects of your life) Save and invest (please get how important this is as everyone is saying how important it is) Be considerate (treat people the way they want to be treated) Love yourself, protect yourself and forgive yourself (you should be your biggest fan) Build your network and ask for help when you need help (again, this can help in all aspects of your life) Enjoy life and try to remember that every single day...

by Anonymousreply 10903/13/2019

Okay - well throw in learn how work with spacing so it isn't jumbled together.

by Anonymousreply 11003/13/2019

BIG TIP: Don't take on other people's problems. Let them learn how to find their own solutions. Be an example. But be pulled down by losers.

by Anonymousreply 11103/13/2019

*but DON'T be pulled down by losers.

by Anonymousreply 11203/13/2019

On 84's note:

by Anonymousreply 11303/13/2019
by Anonymousreply 11403/13/2019
by Anonymousreply 11503/13/2019

Relax. Surrender. Let go.

Anything you clutch at too hard will elude you and/or create problems for you.

Anything you’re relaxed about is more likely to come your way .

I never sought a relationship but happy relationships have always found me. On the other hand, I’ve been very attached to my work and that attachment has resulted in anxiety and issues that only subsided when I finally learned to let go and stopped caring so much.

One of my siblings wanted wealth more than anything yet it eluded her and came to the siblings who weren’t chasing it, instead. And my best friend wanted a true love. After decades of being thwarted, he gave up and started enjoying the life he had. Then his husband showed up.

by Anonymousreply 11603/13/2019

As I'm approaching 30, I really appreciate this advice. Thanks, guys.

I've always been maybe too cautious, maybe due to crippling student loans (which I might pay off by the time I'm 60). I'm trying to live it up a bit if I can. I look at other people my age and they already seem basically elderly with their houses and children and PTA meetings and that stuff has never really interested me. I feel like so many of those people just give up, stop caring, being inquisitive, and go through the motions. I NEVER want to be like that and, so far, I can at least say I haven't become one of them, so that feels good. I must be headed in the right direction.

I'd always heard that your 30s are better than your 20s. There are so many things our parents and teachers never tell us about our 20s. We graduated college and just expect someone to throw a job our way and it never happens. We expect to meet "the one" and that doesn't happen. We don't realize how much the cost of living really is. I don't know about everyone else, but I found my 20s to be mostly filled with terror and anxiety that I'd forgotten to pay a bill or that my taxes would be wrong or something like that. I'm actually looking forward to my 30s and 40s when I can get used to what life throws at you a bit and just give in to it.

by Anonymousreply 11703/13/2019

Date a few bad boys.

by Anonymousreply 11803/13/2019

Don't have standards that are unrealistic, but don't lower your standards either, because an ugly man can be just as much of an asshole as a handsome man.

by Anonymousreply 11903/13/2019

You can fall in love with a rich man just as easily as you can with a poor man. So choose wisely.

by Anonymousreply 12003/13/2019

R117 - The student loan situation is one of the great disgraces of our country, along with medical costs. Fucking Betsy DeVos isn't doing anything to help. I feel for you. I loved my 20's but I really became an adult in my 30's. Still had a lot of fun but started to look to settle down with someone which I did. I have no idea what it's like to look for a job today. I graduated college in 1988 and started out in a $9.00/hour technical writing job and worked up from there. I loved my 30's but my 40's was my favorite decade. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders. You'll be great.

by Anonymousreply 12103/13/2019

[quote]Your metabolism will slow down sooner than you think.

Thermogenesis, the food processing part of your metabolism, actually stays fairly steady throughout your adult life. The illusion that your metabolism slows as you age actually occurs because as you get older, your muscle mass decreases and your amount of fat tends to increase, decreasing your BMR and the amount of calories your body burns. This in turn decreases the amount of calories you need to take in through your diet.

by Anonymousreply 12203/13/2019

[quote] ... r63: Don’t complain about a partner to your family and friends. You may forgive your partner, but your loved ones never will. They will despise your partner long after you have forgotten what the offense was. And once you’ve told them, you can’t take that back.

[quote] R37: This is a really good point (and I bet you've got a story to go along with it...).

I have a tight lipped sister who never complained, ever. It happens her husband was a classic alcoholic. He died at age 49. We loved him, but we wouldn’t have if we knew of all the problems.

I also have a blabby sister. She tells me about many of her husband’s fuckups. He hasn’t cheated or hit her, I don’t think, but he’s a terrible, chronic liar and financial disaster, with a child’s temperament. I hate him. The lying really bothered me, when I figured it out, decades later. He’s good at it.

by Anonymousreply 12303/13/2019

R119 Yes Yes YES! So you might as well go for the pretty one. At least make it worth it.

by Anonymousreply 12403/13/2019

r86, that 2nd-chance stuff is BS. Lots of people are crap, and if you give them a 2nd chance, they'll just do it to you again. The real jems won't even need a 1st chance.

by Anonymousreply 12503/13/2019

Listen to rich elders, save every extra cent, mind your teeth and don’t EVER look back!

by Anonymousreply 12603/13/2019

Yes to R126. Take care of your teeth. It isn't hard. Get a Sonicare electric toothbrush, use interdental picks at least once a day, get your teeth professionally cleaned at least once every 6 months.

by Anonymousreply 12703/13/2019

I agree with all the replies that say save your money, I had periods between jobs when I had to live on a tight budget but I managed to put something away in my savings, it wasn't much but it was better than nothing. Now that I am retired I am glad I did do this.

by Anonymousreply 12803/14/2019

A lot of great advice on this thread. Notice all of the talk about money, money, money. Almost everyone mentioned money.

Trust us. There’s a reason for that! If you heed nothing else from this thread, learn from our (in some cases) mistakes.

by Anonymousreply 12903/14/2019
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Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Don't you just LOVE clicking on these things on every single site you visit? I know we do! You can thank the EU parliament for making everyone in the world click on these pointless things while changing absolutely nothing. If you are interested you can take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT and we'll set a dreaded cookie to make it go away. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

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