Something every 20-something should know about life

SAVE YOUR MONEY

R1 true

Learn to search for similar threads before posting yours.

Also, what R1 said.

"Drive fast and talk back to the cops"

Beauty FADES, stupid is FOREVER.

Hit the books. Liddle Kiddles!

daddy will always love you

Vote Democrat

R3 yeah nobody cares

This has been learnt the hard way, don't let people who have hurt you run your life. The kid who called me 'fatty-boombah" has forgotten they ever did it, no need for me to take that insult on board and either starve myself or sink into the couch in a sea of ice cream wrappers. The boyfriend who cheated, the friend who didn't pay back a loan, the poor performance review etc...it's just stuff that happened and hurt at the time.

I can't really give advice that is really specific to you without verificatia.

never let assholes mess up your life

if someone IS AN ASSHOLE 86 them

never be a liar

respect your self

love your self

take care of your self before anyone else

love all animals

know the difference between love and sex

remember everyone is going through something close to unbearable so a smile goes a long way whether it is returned or not....... be kind.

be kind

be kind

what people do, say and think has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with them.

let go or be dragged

forget those who forget you

never keep trying to invest yourself in anyone who lied to you, cheated on you and disrespected you.

Save, save, save. First get the company match if offered. Then save every raise - you didn't have it before, go without it now. Learn about investing - don't go on some dope's advice.

You'll regret the things (and people) you didn't do a lot more than the ones you did.

Take good care of your teeth and your knees.

R13, the problem with that is that if you do the ones you passed on, then they become part of the group that you won't regret.

If you have an office job, put your name on every piece of your work that is practical. Also put the date, including the year, on everything.

Don’t collect crap. Someday you will lose interest and be stuck with boxes full of worthless stuff.

Don't be hung up on attraction in a partner. It fades, if not on your end, theirs. Think more strategically and pragmatically. If someone is not as attractive to you, but has money, don't hold out for true love!! You will not regret this. Treat others kindly. Be generous with praise--it costs nothing to have an attitude of gratitude and reaps great rewards.

It's all bull shit. All of it. Everything you were taught to believe and believe in is total shite. Follow the money trail in everything because that is all this world is really about.

Don’t pop it. Don’t scratch it. Wash it.

Your skin remembers everything your shenanigans have put it through.

Stay in well lit areas, never travel alone whenever possible, ALWAYS wipe front to back, and remember, never EVER believe someone when they tell you that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crab infestation.

Read books containing wise counsel. Go to alux.com, put education in the search box, and read the output.

Don't let hedonism and the pursuit of sex rule your life, and protect your health as a top priority.

Have a 5/10/20 year life plan.

Be diiscerning and ruthless if need be as to whom you let into your life.

Don't take up bad habits, eg, smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling and overeating, as they are a lot harder to stop than to start.

Don't take relationships too seriously. Get your own job, own place, own car, own checking account and insurance... and be an independent person.

life has a very simple plot

1st you're here

then you're not

You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there...

There's no disease a little bloodletting can't heal.

Don’t do dead end jobs pay check to pay check to survive. Really find out what you wanna do as soon as possible

People you associate that are hot messes only bring you down eventually. Even if they are fun to be with they lead you no where

Date older and more successful. It prop won’t work out but you will learn a lot.

Find a mentor

Learn a 2nd language

Travel

Wear sunscreen.

Don’t be a sheep. Everyone is a little sheep sometime. Recognize it, value your own independent thought

Be as vulnerable as possible

This thread is redundant, 20- somethings don't listen or take advice, they know it all, they just have to learn these lessons the hard way.

Always blow dry your feet and secret garden after you take a shower to get completely dry and sweat free

Life is not going to be fair to you. Accept it and learn to deal with it.

Get your face out of your fucking phone, meet people, and live life.

If you hold grudges and obsess, your life will be a pit of misery and you'll end up unloved and alone, with no one to blame but yourself. Let it go.

Wear sunscreen. That tan might look hot now, but avoiding wrinkles and skin cancer would be far sexier.

Be kind to animals. Don't associate with people who aren't, they all have mental issues that will never go away.

Please save some of your money. I know Buzzfeed tells you that all of those gee-gaws are absolutely essential for you to be able to breathe, but that's bullshit. You know what's essential? Having a retirement fund.

Loving someone won't change them. Change of any kind is a choice that person must make, over and over, every day until they die. They have to not only want to change but to be willing to do the work, on a daily basis. If you think you loving them or them loving you will magically change them into a better person, you're a fool.

If your partner is mentally ill, you will most likely become more of a parental figure than lover or equal partner to them. If that's ok with you, great. If the idea of it makes you sick inside, don't date them or break it off. Your love will not 'cure' them.

Always keep at least a fourth a tank of gas in your vehicle.

Be wary of what you post on-line. The internet is forever.

Take a risk.

Don’t expect any help from Susan Dey.

Become an excellent swimmer. One day you might have to rescue yourself or somebody else. It's also great, inexpensive exercise.

Always be an anonymous cum dump. One day nobody’s will want your used up hole

Eat desert first.

erm, dessert

Cultivate hobbies, interests, fun things you like to do. Things that don't necessarily require another person standing beside you. Too many people wait and wait for their 'other half' to walk into their life to start living. You're not half a person; live a life.

R19 YES. Save your money. That is number one. R27 "Don’t do dead end jobs pay check to pay check to survive. Really find out what you wanna do as soon as possible"

"People you associate that are hot messes only bring you down eventually. Even if they are fun to be with they lead you no where"

YUP.

Turn off your phone and practice stillness/meditation. Save your money. See your Dr. every year. Take care of your teeth. Be a good friend. Practice kindness. Get out of your head and focus on others. Give more love than you receive.

You don't know shit. You think you do but time will prove you wrong.

20s? I will talk to young me then I guess......Beauty, Body, Brains, they are in abundance. Fuck your GUTS out, travel ALOT, KNOW that when you are 50 and 60 and 70, you will be an entirely different person, and you will not even be recognizable as that 20 year old. Again FUCK YOUR GUTS OUT because when you are older, you become invisible, no matter how hot you think you are. You should still have some youthful idealism, passion, and verve, good, USE IT. Nothing wrong with it, go for it. And try to be kind to people and yourself, because when you are very old, those people will still be your friends,

I would say don’t obsess about sex and finding “the one”. I look back at all the sex as a distraction from important things. So incredibly time spent chasing dick was not helpful. Fun and I don’t discourage it - but not a goal in life.

Similarly, don’t make finding a husband a goal. Meet people and eventually find someone compatible. Love and romance can be misleading - as marriage and long term companionship require a different set of attributes than lust.

Don’t worry so much. Work hard and plan - but don’t waste your life in fear.

Don’t stay trapped where you were born. Live different places in your 20s before deciding where you want to be. Don’t let family tie you down.

Whatever your profession, trust no one at work. Human Resources is NOT your friend. Chances are, they already know about the theft, drug use, and sex going on in your department, and they don't care.

^^^ because they're in on it

Bump

Be kind to your knees.

Even if you can’t afford to travel, and as far and as wide as you can, even if you have to do it by yourself.

I know it's cliche, but it's been the best advice I've ever heard, because it's so true... when someone shows or tells you who they are, believe them, and believe them the first time. They know themselves better than you ever could.

R51 is smart

Thank you.

Bump

Should you live past 60, you'll look back and realize that you should have paid attention to everything said on this thread.

[quote]Eat desert first.

I was a good boy and ate desert [italic]last[/italic].

The “when someone shows who they are, believe them” is too vague. What does that mean? I don’t like advice that is a cliche masquerading as insight.

Be kind, rewind!

What it means, R58; is do not pursue r'ships after you have seen that someone has a bad character from their actions. People generally do not change.

What it means to me R57 is that when being around someone causes little red flags to wave even distantly in your head, take note. Or challenge what caused them.

All too often, going along to get along means we - I - ignore said flags, or maybe just dismiss them as alarmism. Often the flags get larger, and we're in deeper than we want to be.

Do not get into a relationship expecting to change someone. You cannot make them change, so don’t think you can. If something so dire needs to be changed on that person that it will bother you, don’t get involved.

Don’t get by on just your looks. They WILL fade. I know you don’t believe it now, but they will.

Try not to take negative things (even big things) too seriously. One day you will look back on it and see things in a completely different light. I assure you, what looks like the end of the world now, truly isn’t.

R11 lovely and inspiring post

If/when you get a partner, don’t complain about him/her to your family and friends. You may forgive your partner, but your loved ones never will. They will despise your partner long after you have forgotten what the offense was. And once you’ve told them, you can’t take that back.

Excepting major life-changing matters, perhaps. I’m not even sure about this one.

Another aspect of the "believe someone when they tell you who they are" is sometimes people come right out and say it. When a person says "I'm mean" or "I'm not a good person" we tend to think they're just being hard on themselves, but keep in mind, that person knows what goes on in their heads, and what their actions are when no one is looking. Then you have the "I'm a nice guy" types. Nobody who's really a nice guy needs to tell people. Everyone I've ever met who says any of the above things has been a truly horrible person.

One more, if someone tells you that most people don't like them, or you notice that, or hear it from others, pay heed. Observe and be very wary. People aren't always roundly disliked because they're bad people, sometimes there are other reasons, but often it is because they're bad people, so don't be quick to feel sorry for them & befriend. Proceed with great caution.

Stick to your own kind, one of your own kind!

You can't play Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon to put off growing up (and coming out) forever. Far better to grow up, grow a pair, tell your controlling and manipulative family to fuck off, and live your own life.

No one will love you as much as your mother.

[quote] The “when someone shows who they are, believe them” is too vague. What does that mean? I don’t like advice that is a cliche masquerading as insight.

Another example is when a prospective partner talks about an ex-BF and how he treated the ex-BF (cheated on him, borrowed money from the ex and didn't repay, etc.). Don't expect different treatment.

My mother’s crazy. Can’t stand her

R69 is so right. If he cheated on any of his exes, he WILL cheat on you. Count on it.

My mother was crazy too. A child abuser. I couldn't wait for her to die. I wish I could go back and tell nineteen year old me to cut her off then when I moved to NYC. She was toxic as fuck. I literally still have nightmares that she comes back to life. It's horrible.

The "fat" you think you are now you'd sell your mother for in the future.

One of my fav’s. When you’re in a serious relationship, the first one to two years are as good as it’s going to get. Really let that sink in — that’s the honeymoon period, and the relationship will never be better than that. It can mature and progress and be good too — but all the little things that bothered you OR that you minimize during the honeymoon phase will not be cute in ten years, nor will they be easy to ignore.

You don’t need a ton of kitchen gadgets. Invest in one amazing knife.

Read, read, read. Never stop learning.

Get out of your comfort zone and serve the poor, even if it’s just once a month. Serve at a food pantry for example (a good one that treats guests with great dignity). And commit to going to the same place for at least a year so you get to know the regulars.

When you marry, you marry the family. God help you if his family is insane, you’ll never escape.

Live and let live.* *The exception being Trumper’s.

Get the best education you can financially justify and aim for liberal arts as much as possible within your major. The Jesuits have mastered this, follow their lead for a broad, well-rounded education.

Learn to speak with proper elocution, and use it for the rest of your life.

Get a money market account, IRA, mutual funds, etc. and stockpile your money, otherwise you'll be 80 years old and still have to work. Don't even think social security is enough.

Bump

[quote]If/when you get a partner, don’t complain about him/her to your family and friends. You may forgive your partner, but your loved ones never will. They will despise your partner long after you have forgotten what the offense was. And once you’ve told them, you can’t take that back.

This is a really good point (and I bet you've got a story to go along with it...).

The love of your life might be sitting right next to you. Think before looking for something "better".

[quote] You can't play Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon to put off growing up (and coming out) forever. Far better to grow up, grow a pair, tell your controlling and manipulative family to--

Physical aspects of a person and a r'ship are important, but for a stable partnership, what really counts is character. It takes 5 years to know all sides of a person, but if someone shows you that they can be cruel, selfish, dishonest, unfaithful, combative, self-destructive etc, etc, count them out as a serious prospect.

Your metabolism will slow down sooner than you think.

PrEP doesn't stop herpes and all that other mess.

Save and invest.

Don't let all that be a buzzkill.

When the time comes to buy a refrigerator, buy one of the ones with the freezer at the bottom even if it costs a bit more.

Remember your utter insignificance from a cosmological perspective. Oh, and hire people with hooks.

Lots of good advice in this thread not just for 20-somethings but for everyone at all ages. Good advice never gets old.

Learn to forgive and try to give people a second chance. If you remove people from your life who have at one point let you down badly, said something that hurt you, betrayed a trust or were just plain mean then you will be pretty much left with no-one.

Which isn’t bad^.

Comparing yourself to other people is a huge waste of time. Limit the time you spend on social media and grindr, both are toxic.

Be honest, always.

Save your money.

Recognize who your true friends are. Drop the ones who care only for themselves.

Learn to forgive. Grudges only eat away at you.

Good grooming matters.

Save your money. Your fifties will be here before you know it.

Cut down on possessions or they will own you.

Travel now but budget for it. Travel light.

If you have heavy undergraduate debt pay it off before you do graduate work unless there is immediate payoff in terms of well paying jobs.

Get good friends and treat them well . Remember friendship is mutual. You are no one's office assistant doing all the work making reservations etc.

EAT THE RICH

Fall in love, and fully devote yourself to someone.

Listen to punk rock.

As mentioned before, make a point of teaching yourself how to earn, save, budget, and invest your money intelligently. It doesn't matter how much money you have if you piss it all away (or get conned out of it.)

Don't worry too much about beauty. Concentrate on your health, physical and mental. The beauty will follow.

Never define your worth by who will or won't fuck you.

Never be afraid of getting older. Every time of life has its advantages. Learn how to appreciate them.

Savor your youth. Be bold.

Don’t do social media

Don’t get a tattoo

Don’t drink

Don’t smoke

Get a degree that’s practical like nursing or engineering. Computer science.

You only go around once.

Looking for a partner you want to grow old with - and who will treat you with respect and not break your heart? Try this:

Ignore the six pack, the guns, the "8 inches soft" and give the slightly overweight accountant a call. They are the ones who are not focussed on looks and "likes" and are building a solid career and want to settle down and be faithful.

Move to Paris and study art. Have an affair with an older man. Settle down when you're ready. (But never get too settled.)

Go to college but don't care about it. Go for parties, drinking, and drugs.

Mistake^.

Know thyself. Go to therapy in your 20s to help understand yourself and your strengths/weaknesses and underlying issues. Don’t try to find “the one” - find yourself and a partner (or more likely, a series of partners) will come along.

I would say “fear less”. I am a worrier - so a lot of this fear-based advice was bad for me. I was so afraid of going broke or making a wrong move, it prevented me from living fully. Some people aren’t worriers - they should heed the above advice. But if you’re an anxious person, try to stop worrying too much and go to therapy.

Don't collude.

Time solves all problems.

You all realize that your just giving advice to your long gone 20 something self right? Nobody in their 20's is going to listen to this advice at all. Their frontal cortex (responsible for rational thought) isn't even fully developed yet. I've tried giving advice to 30 somethings, and they just give a blank stare and go back to their phones. I've given up for my own mental health.

[quote]When the time comes to buy a refrigerator, buy one of the ones with the freezer at the bottom even if it costs a bit more.

Why? I ask because I’m in the market for a new ‘fridge and am still deciding. I like the French doors with freezer on the bottom, but it’s not a must. My mother has a freezer on the bottom and I’m not crazy about it, so I was wondering what your take was.

As you grow older, time goes by much faster.

It really does.

Exercise regularly: not necessarily to build muscle and look hotter, but to keep your blood pressure, weight and general wellbeing under control. It will improve your mental health too.

Do some regular social thing, like a sport, volunteering, a book group, whatever.

Read a lot, expose yourself to all different kinds of art.

If you can afford it, take a couple of years in your twenties to do something adventurous and fun that you'll look back on fondly years later (in my case I taught English on three continents). Be the guy at a party with a story to tell.

Keep in touch with your family and value the connection, especially the older members, unless they are batshit crazy/psycho/evil.

Have a positive attitude (this helps in all aspects of your life) Save and invest (please get how important this is as everyone is saying how important it is) Be considerate (treat people the way they want to be treated) Love yourself, protect yourself and forgive yourself (you should be your biggest fan) Build your network and ask for help when you need help (again, this can help in all aspects of your life) Enjoy life and try to remember that every single day...

Grrr....I hate how the spacing doesn't work sometimes (hopefully this is an easier read)

Have a positive attitude (this helps in all aspects of your life) Save and invest (please get how important this is as everyone is saying how important it is) Be considerate (treat people the way they want to be treated) Love yourself, protect yourself and forgive yourself (you should be your biggest fan) Build your network and ask for help when you need help (again, this can help in all aspects of your life) Enjoy life and try to remember that every single day...

Okay - well throw in learn how work with spacing so it isn't jumbled together.

BIG TIP: Don't take on other people's problems. Let them learn how to find their own solutions. Be an example. But be pulled down by losers.

*but DON'T be pulled down by losers.

On 84's note:

Relax. Surrender. Let go.

Anything you clutch at too hard will elude you and/or create problems for you.

Anything you’re relaxed about is more likely to come your way .

I never sought a relationship but happy relationships have always found me. On the other hand, I’ve been very attached to my work and that attachment has resulted in anxiety and issues that only subsided when I finally learned to let go and stopped caring so much.

One of my siblings wanted wealth more than anything yet it eluded her and came to the siblings who weren’t chasing it, instead. And my best friend wanted a true love. After decades of being thwarted, he gave up and started enjoying the life he had. Then his husband showed up.

As I'm approaching 30, I really appreciate this advice. Thanks, guys.

I've always been maybe too cautious, maybe due to crippling student loans (which I might pay off by the time I'm 60). I'm trying to live it up a bit if I can. I look at other people my age and they already seem basically elderly with their houses and children and PTA meetings and that stuff has never really interested me. I feel like so many of those people just give up, stop caring, being inquisitive, and go through the motions. I NEVER want to be like that and, so far, I can at least say I haven't become one of them, so that feels good. I must be headed in the right direction.

I'd always heard that your 30s are better than your 20s. There are so many things our parents and teachers never tell us about our 20s. We graduated college and just expect someone to throw a job our way and it never happens. We expect to meet "the one" and that doesn't happen. We don't realize how much the cost of living really is. I don't know about everyone else, but I found my 20s to be mostly filled with terror and anxiety that I'd forgotten to pay a bill or that my taxes would be wrong or something like that. I'm actually looking forward to my 30s and 40s when I can get used to what life throws at you a bit and just give in to it.

Date a few bad boys.

Don't have standards that are unrealistic, but don't lower your standards either, because an ugly man can be just as much of an asshole as a handsome man.

You can fall in love with a rich man just as easily as you can with a poor man. So choose wisely.

R117 - The student loan situation is one of the great disgraces of our country, along with medical costs. Fucking Betsy DeVos isn't doing anything to help. I feel for you. I loved my 20's but I really became an adult in my 30's. Still had a lot of fun but started to look to settle down with someone which I did. I have no idea what it's like to look for a job today. I graduated college in 1988 and started out in a $9.00/hour technical writing job and worked up from there. I loved my 30's but my 40's was my favorite decade. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders. You'll be great.

[quote]Your metabolism will slow down sooner than you think.

Thermogenesis, the food processing part of your metabolism, actually stays fairly steady throughout your adult life. The illusion that your metabolism slows as you age actually occurs because as you get older, your muscle mass decreases and your amount of fat tends to increase, decreasing your BMR and the amount of calories your body burns. This in turn decreases the amount of calories you need to take in through your diet.

[quote] ... r63: Don’t complain about a partner to your family and friends. You may forgive your partner, but your loved ones never will. They will despise your partner long after you have forgotten what the offense was. And once you’ve told them, you can’t take that back.

[quote] R37: This is a really good point (and I bet you've got a story to go along with it...).

I have a tight lipped sister who never complained, ever. It happens her husband was a classic alcoholic. He died at age 49. We loved him, but we wouldn’t have if we knew of all the problems.

I also have a blabby sister. She tells me about many of her husband’s fuckups. He hasn’t cheated or hit her, I don’t think, but he’s a terrible, chronic liar and financial disaster, with a child’s temperament. I hate him. The lying really bothered me, when I figured it out, decades later. He’s good at it.

R119 Yes Yes YES! So you might as well go for the pretty one. At least make it worth it.

r86, that 2nd-chance stuff is BS. Lots of people are crap, and if you give them a 2nd chance, they'll just do it to you again. The real jems won't even need a 1st chance.

Listen to rich elders, save every extra cent, mind your teeth and don’t EVER look back!

Yes to R126. Take care of your teeth. It isn't hard. Get a Sonicare electric toothbrush, use interdental picks at least once a day, get your teeth professionally cleaned at least once every 6 months.

I agree with all the replies that say save your money, I had periods between jobs when I had to live on a tight budget but I managed to put something away in my savings, it wasn't much but it was better than nothing. Now that I am retired I am glad I did do this.

A lot of great advice on this thread. Notice all of the talk about money, money, money. Almost everyone mentioned money.

Trust us. There’s a reason for that! If you heed nothing else from this thread, learn from our (in some cases) mistakes.

I feel I'm constantly either ravenous, terrified, zombified or like I'm gonna pop off on someone depending on the minute.

I am in a deadend job in a 9'o'clock town with people I can't stand plus I don't get laid so I know it's got a lot to do with lack of fulfilment/pleasure and attachment anxiety that I need to address with a longterm plan, but- is there anything I can do to relieve the pressure in the meantime that won't get me killed yet will prevent me from succumbing to a gaping soul maw? I'm 26 btw

All Republicans are very, very bad people.

How to change a flat tire.