CHRIS BURROUS SAGA : PART IV "Fisting through the night"

A direct quote from Mr. Keister (Mr. Fister's friend) : "It certainly took the FUN out of Fundament. "

Does anyone think Mr. Fister might be the Big Bang actor that strangely made a large donation in Chris' honor immediately after his death?

[quote]Does anyone think Mr. Fister might be the Big Bang actor that strangely made a large donation in Chris' honor immediately after his death?

Well, TMZ certainly made a Big Bang about THAT...

I'd like to focus on Mr Fister's perceived CPR inadequesies .

Surely Grindr has a duty of care to fisters to ensure that they are properly trained in CPR for just such eventualalilities?

I'd like to see Grindr reach out to the ARC to provide fisting first aid courses across the country.

So, he graduated from a heavily Christian university but I can find no references to religion on any of his social media sites.

At least there is that. At least he was no Ted Haggard.

POPPERS AND PUKE is the new BOOZE AND HOT PANTS

Don't forget BUTT DAD, Nancy.

I think that we need to start a campaign educating fisters in the importance of correct CPR techniques.

Perhaps call it 'Fists Across America'?

OP Thanks for the new thread. However, you are almost worse than Hitler for not posting it in the old thread before it closed, and I hate the title. There were 4687 better options being offered. Moving on...

I think R9 that the OP was being cautious given My Dough's rampage.

I think he wanted to leave the thread title as open as possible, out of respect to Chris.

Since there are only ten replies I say we make a new thread with a better title and abandon this one.

I agree r11 If you do it, please post it here. We were on fire on the last thread. This one has low energy as The Cheeto would say. If My Dough didn't pull the other one down, I'm not worried about the title of the next one. This one still has the word "fisting" in it, so I don't think the OP was being careful, they are just stupid.

I can’t move to a new thread right now. I’m up to my elbows in....uh, work.

There's not a lot to say. Why is asshole Harvey Levin not touching this? Who is the mystery fister? What is with the dopy fb chick who claims to be his cousin? And if she is, why is she talking about it period? It's hard for me to believe her story about two men in love when they were meeting at a shitty motel after he feigned illness to leave work.

What ethnicity was Chris Burrous?

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So what exactly was the motel room companion to Chris? Sources vary from lover/best friend, grindr hook up, regular fuck buddy, male prostitute.

Fisting 101:

More Course Material:

R17 Does it have to be one or the other?

According to facebook Chris' favourite sitcom was the Golden Girls! Are we sure he wasn't a datalounger?

He would have been a "Datalounger Extreme!"

Brilliant R20! Good show!

Half Italian.

I was looking at the news on the day Chris died, and the winds kicked up and transformers in my LA neighborhood started exploding. Then, a power plant arced in New York City, making many believe that an end of life event had occurred.

R16 One of the funniest things I have ever read!

R25 Do you think that was Chris's spirit exiting his asshole, heading to heaven?

maybe the part about the winds coming up...

He did fart a lot in the studio, r28. Most of us just thought it was from his constant overeating of gassy food.

Getting back to the nub of the story, if Chris had not expired after the second rock would he have gone on to three, four, five ? The mask seems to have been the culprit so who knows what highs he could have attained if he had enjoyed full lung capacity. With the use of poppers is a mask necessary ?

Let's see how My Dough's GoFundDo fundraising is doing. Donations are still coming in.

This one is over goal:

The more My Dough-centric one is still struggling to get to goal. Hah!

(Though with GoFundMe you don't have to reach goal to receive.)

R16 - I’m crushing on you so bad! Fabulous!

Chris will be best known for the titillating aspects of his demise . I can't think of any other celebrity (minor or major) who has that "honor". Sal Mineo, Ramon Navarro etc. met violent ends but they're not defined by their final moments.

I dabbled with meth a bit in high school, we all did in my San Diego suburb. Then I really listened to this song and knew it was to be avoided.

Taste me you will see More is all you need You're dedicated to How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster Obey your master Your life burns faster Obey your master Master

Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams Blinded by me, you can't see a thing Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream Master Master Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream Master Master

DL, I've been asked to relay this message from your pal on the Other Side...

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth

It is called the Rainbow Bridge

It is home to a light show unimaginable to you

Colors no earthbound wretch has ever seen

Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge, there is an orchard of GBH trees

Meticulously planted popper fields stretch as far as the eye can see

Glistening lube streams flow from the tops of crystalline meth mountains

When a fisted bottom dies, he goes to this place

He does

There is always Gatorade and water — lots of water — and cranked-up AC

The old and frail bottoms are young again

Those who were torn or prolapsed are made whole

There is only one thing missing —

They're not with that special person who touched their very core

Who touched them in ways their wives never could

So each night they dance and dance and dance until the kaleidoscopic sun comes up

Suddenly, one stops and looks up

Whew! It's not his wife

His whole body twitches

Could it be? Could it?

His jaw clenches

His teeth grind

His pupils zoom in and out and he suddenly runs from the group

You, Mister Fister, have been spotted

Amazingly, considering his excited state, his sphincter holds

When you and your very special friend reach each other

You take him in your arms and and announce you'll no longer accept payment

Everything is free here

He licks and kisses your face again and again

He drops to all fours

He thrusts his newly virginal rosebud proudly to the swirling rainbow skies

And you stare once more into the winking brown eye of your favorite married AWG

Your trusting and oh-so-insatiable bottom

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together never again to be apart

[quote]What ethnicity was Chris Burrous?

He claimed to be "half Italian," but never said what the other half was. Looking at him, I'd say he was either part Asian or part 'tard. He has kind of a Down's aura about him.

His mom's maiden name was Rizio, and her mom's maiden name was Caputo.

Can't find anything on his dad other than he wrote a lot of books on Integrated Circuits.

People who claim to be half Italian usually want to be identified as Italian.

[quote]People who claim to be half Italian usually want to be identified as Italian.

Better than being identified as half 'tard.

R36 Thanks for this. I'm sure that Chris will be an inspiration for many. I'm looking forward to the titles of an impending bio-pic.

So poignant, R36. It makes my cry thinking about all my little fistbabies waiting for me on the other side.

Although one could argue that GBH (grievous bodily harm) is also appropriate, the popper-addled poet meant to write GHB.

I’m not his fucking editor.

Still infallible,

Did you know, r35, that after releasing Master of Puppets, Lars Ulrich, one of the founding member of Metallica, went on to become a massive, massive cokehead? But back to the fisting...

Well of course r44, aside from Hetfield, I know many of the band members did drugs. But Lars the napster prick did coke, not tweek, and that's a huge difference. Meth is so...coarse. Coke is much more couth.

All the various insurance companies that will be involved is interesting -- his job will pay out, as will any private policies he had, and then they will go after the hotel's insurance policies and maybe go after the friend in the room if they can make a case that he wasn't as innocent as he claimed.

Is KTLA really this cheap?

There might be perks in that. But I don't know what kind.

@LeynaNguyenTV

It seems everyone has a go fund me for everything these days which is why I don’t normally share them. This case is especially sad, and a friend has verified it to be true. This woman has cancer and her son is dying.

PS -- what GoFundMe was originally for.

Will Glendale open up Chris's masive file to public scruitny?

Dragon Lady just needs to sell the disco lights, I'm sure some datalounger would pay a lot of money for it.

That's a good point.

Has anyone seen any disco lights for advertised in the Los Angeles Times lately?

I wonder how that works. Would the Days Inn have called his wife to pick up his stuff?

Maybe the Glendale cops collected "the evidence" that will be released when they close their investigation.

R54 Sandra on Reception has a big box of lost property items she kept them in.

You know the stuff that people leave behind. Phones, keys, watches, vomet covered gimp masks, that kinda thing.

Days Inn is apparently looking into buying all the accoutrements found in the room (massage table, disco lights, etc.) with the idea of turning it into a special suite that can be requested for an additional $19.99.

Poppers, lubes, glistening oil, wrapped dildos, latex gloves, and Gatorade will be available in the mini bar.

I can now exclusively reveal Chris’ last words: “Oh, fank you, you fisted my cheeseburger!”

R47, it’s very likely the salaries are that low. Local anchors in NYC make only a bit more. They must get away with it because, hey, you’re on television, what more do you want?

He certainly made enough money to sustain a suitable double life and a platinum membership at the Glendale Inn.

[quote]CHRIS BURROUS SAGA : PART IV "Fisting through the night"

There were a number of genuinely clever title suggestions in part III, and you had to do it YOUR WAY, OP. This is why we can't have nice things.

I think there must be exceptions to that, r47. For example, Frank Buckley was a CNN reporter before he came to LA, and was making a decent 6 figures. I can't imagine he took that much of a pay cut to come to KTLA. Not that Burrous qualified as an exception, but there are a few. I'm sure Kriski and Rubin are making 6 figures, but then they've been there since the beginning of time.

R57 Don’t forget the knit ski mask and electrical tape that were also foynd at the scene.

R60 He was only Elite.

2 more fisting sessions and he would be upgraded to Platinum.

You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap complaints about the thread title ? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, R61? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed? Pure West Glendale. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamb? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the datalounge.

[quote]vomet covered gimp masks, that kinda thing.

Oh, dear!

For dear OP:

Let me tell you 'bout a place Somewhere down a L.A. way Where the people are so gay Fistin’ the night away

Here they have a lot of fun Puttin' meth rocks up the bum Man, you find the old and passably young Fistin’ the night away

They're fistin’, fistin’ Everybody's feelin' great They're fistin', fistin' They're fistin' the night away

Here's a man in rubber clothes How he got here, Mai don't know, but Man, you oughta see him go Fistin' the night away

He's fistin' in a creepy mask He’s a movin' up and back Oh man, I think he blew a gasket Fistin’ the night away

They're fistin', fistin’ Everybody's feelin' great They're fistin', fistin' They're fistin' the night away

Let's fist a while Lean up, lean back Lean up, lean back Watusi, now fly, now fist They're fistin' the night away

Here's a fella without no jeans Fistin' with an older queen Who's wrapped up in electrical tape and Fistin' the night away

Man, you oughta see him under the strobe Fistin' to the bad techno Here you find the young and old Fistin' the night away

They're fistin', fistin' Man, everybody's feelin' great They're fistin', fistin' They're fistin' the night One more time Lean up, lean back Lean up, lean back Watusi, now fly, now fist.

Get a life r68

[quote]For example, Frank Buckley was a CNN reporter before he came to LA, and was making a decent 6 figures. I can't imagine he took that much of a pay cut to come to KTLA. Not that Burrous qualified as an exception, but there are a few. I'm sure Kriski and Rubin are making 6 figures, but then they've been there since the beginning of time.

Not to derail, but a few years ago consultants discovered that well-known local anchors and extremely familiar/trusted reporters were the only ones who were worth their salaries. A lot of local TV reporters in L.A. and NYC now come from third-tier rather than second-tier markets and are considered pretty much interchangeable.

For someone looking to get out of, say, Billings, Montana, a chance to go to a local news show in a top-rated market is irresistible, and $55,000 or 60,000 is a lot more than they're making back home. Most don't last too long. They're hopped from story to story each day, never getting to learn a beat and often being a "one man band" (no camera operator).

R68 That made me chuckle.

Talking of maid. How much did Consuela get paid to clear up that mess? She must of needed an awful lot of Lemon Pledge to get those vomit stains out of the carpet.

R68 = My Dough.

Seriously what was the electrical tape for?

r73 Maybe they used it to mount the disco lights?

Who got to keep the meth? Did they give it to the wife or did it go to the housekeepers as a tip?

R73 Nips. It was used on the nips.

[quote]Has anyone seen any disco lights for advertised in the Los Angeles Times lately?

Are you 100 years old? When was the last time you saw a classified ad selling something in a newspaper?

R77 Apologies. I'm a Brit, we still do stuff like that over here.

Has anyone Dragon Lady's Disco lighting on Gumtree lately?

Chris must have had other fuck buddies before. I'm kinda surprised that some famewhore hasn't come forward and tried make this all about themselves yet.

R79 You're right!

Cumdumpster Chris doesn't sound like a novice fister with equipment like massage table (ask yourself why he packed that every session? Clearly he found Days Inn beds a little too soft for his anal requirements, upgrade or no upgrade!), DJ lighting rig (obviously Days Inn low lighting didn't hit the spot for him) and gimp mask (he just loved those poppers and had been perfecting methods to inhale them to the maximum, sadly fatally). Add to that list his Elite Days Inn status and it all points to more than one other Fister out there that's been intimate with Chris's butt. Now doesn't it DLers?

There was the Variety guy mentioned on one of these threads who said he hooked up with Chris and didn't like his poppers.

Maybe we will hear more when the GPD finishes their report.

Question about "meth toxicity". Both Chris Burrous and Dirk Shafer were diagnosed with "hypertensive disease", which sounds like what killed them (do autopsies even check for aneurysms?). But is it possible the hypertension came from regular meth use, rather than simply being exacerbated by use at the time of death?

I think in his case it came from diet, he was a big eater and had lost a lot of weight recently. That also puts a strain on the heart.

The idea of the hood and vomiting into it just horrifies me. I think the poppers played a large role.

Perhaps he'd been losing weight to look better on Grindr. Since "everybody knows Chris," his photos probably didn't show his face, so all he had to offer was his torso and butt.

Also, his tummy ache that day may have been for real. Don't some guys take laxatives to prepare?

And of course that 60% stenosis in his left anterior descending artery played a role, don't you imagine?

Apparently, it's referred to as the "widow maker" by some.

[quote] The left anterior descending artery (also LAD, anterior interventricular branch of left coronary artery, or anterior descending branch) is a branch of the left coronary artery. Occlusion of this artery is often called the "widow-maker" infarction due to a high death risk.

Who will play Chris in the movie version?

Great question.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Why can’t anyone find his adam4adam profile?

I'm not available.

I'll play him if there's food involved.

You can play the Glendale Inn Chrissy!

Glendale Days Inn

R80 The 'Elite Day's Inn status' is GOLD. Where did this info come from?

R93 Sandra on Reception confirmed he was still Elite status.

He still needed 2 fisting sessions before he was elevated.

You know how much I hate drama, R94, so I hesitate to even mention this, BUT...

Do NOT trust anyone at the front desk to confirm your status! I just noticed a discrepancy with the number of my post-school-run fisting trysts and when I complained this S*ndra person seemed to have a HUGE stick up her *ss!

She snipped back, "You're more than welcome to email customer care. But I'm telling you now, it's all computerized. My screen doesn't have a field to make status changes here....[italic]even if I wanted to[/italic]." OH MY WORD, can you believe it!?!? She threatened me!!!

Well, she picked the wrong one! I sassed right back, "Well, Miss... It is "Miss" isn't it? Tragic that no man will commit to you. Anyway, as you can see, I'm filming all of this and I WILL be posting it on YouTube, and I WILL be contacting corporate, and I WILL share this ENTIRE FREAKING STORY on social media hashtagged with #DaysInn! Oh, and sweetie? I HAVE OVER 100 FOLLOWERS!"

I am livid!! LIVID!

R95 That doesn't surprise me. Sandra's still bitter that she missed out on Employee of The Month back in June1997 to Juanita in housekeeping.

Since that day those two have locked horns in a battle of attrician. Sandra has kept a vow to NEVER to upgrade status, even though she know's full well, with her encyclopedic knowledge, that Page 2667 of The Days Inn F1ST booking system manual, allows her to do it, if she uses the override.

It DOES NOT surprise me that you were greeted like you was.

R95 you GO girl!

[quote]Since that day those two have locked horns in a battle of attrician.

A battle of what now?

Attrician.

It's just outside of The Valley.

Oh that’s right. Down south, I forgot.

r98 and r99 I love you. Just when I am not sure if these threads will still make me laugh. This really is better than the Jayni Lane saga.

We ♥️ you too! R101

R100 unless you're in San Diego, then it's up Norfolk.

Back atcha, R101.

Greg Kinnear would be a perfect Chris. I know Ryan Murphy is an ADD disaster, but I am tossing him into the ring for this story being his next project. I would watch the fuck out of it, even knowing it will deflate halfway through. Who should be cast as My Dough? I nominate Alex Borstein. The biggest question is who would play Mr. Fister?

I really do hate OP more than Hitler for this limp title (and the stupid fucking Roman numerals). There were a thousand (not exaggerating by too much) other titles suggested that were far funnier and better. This one makes no sense.

Fisting by the pool. Let's fist again like we did last summer.

Sandra is about to hit Mike from the Palm Springs gathering status.

Last weekend I enacted this saga to see how dangerous it would truly be.

I had rocks of meth put up my ass and was fisted for hours.

I survived just fine

I'll play him!

Fail r108 Who the hell is that?

R104 Your objection to the thread title is noted. We note the low energy vibe it gives off. But stay with us. We will get to post 600 if it kills is, like it did Chris. We will get there. It'll be a slow, long, torturous battle, but we shall overcome!

Maybe Mr Fister remains elusive and mysterious. Maybe we don't see him on camera, maybe he's just spoken of, never seen?

R106. Sandra can be a bitch!

R107 I salute you as a survivor! #rockingthenightaway

I'm Kevin James, bitch.

r110 OK, fair enough. "If it kills us" and it may just well, but yes fellow posters, let's keep this going. One of the best DL stories yet!

Any chance he could loose a couple of pounds for the role R111?

Chris was trying to get a few pounds down for his Grndr profile.

Kevin James lost a ton of weight and got some laser work from the look of that photo.

R114 Does anyone have his ass measurements?

It'll feature prominently in the biopic

R112 Have you got part 5's thread title logged and ready?

Did we ever get an answer on whether his insurance pays? If I were the claims adjustor I would say no fucking way are we paying this! But then I guess people die in dumb, reckless ways every day. If someone is driving drunk does their insurance pay?

Great question r117! Anyone? Anyone?

No ass photos but here I am in a vest and little bowtie. I think I can pull it off, don't you, bitch?

Why would Chris stick the rocks up his own butt when the fister was in a better position to do so?

Chris might have loaded his own poppers, but the fister did the rocks.

Basis for a wrongful death suit.

Maybe Sandra inserted the rocks? He did have platinum status right? Or was it gold? Either way, I would think he would get the kid glove treatment.

He put them in there so the fister could pull them out. It's like that carnival game with the fish. But instead of using a pole, you use your hand to scoop the rocks out.

R121, he got the latex glove treatment, not the kid glove treatment. That's no way to treat fine lamb leather!

[quote]Any chance he could loose a couple of pounds for the role R111?

Oh, dear!

Title for the next thread MUST contain ‘BUTT DAD.’

I wonder how Mr Fister is doing. No GoFundMe scamming from him, no public love or thoughts for him...

Any DL sleuths still on the case, or is he over too?

[quote] Why can’t anyone find his adam4adam profile?

Maybe look for a guy going by "Rocky."

[quote]

Any chance he could loose a couple of pounds for the role [R111]?

Oh, dear! —Anonymous

only if he were brit, and the extra coinage would likely be pence

The autopsy report very specifically concludes, "THE MANNER OF DEATH IS ACCIDENT."

Insurance should pay.

The insurance will pay Chris's estate, but then the insurance company will try to get its money back by going after other insurance, or individuals, if they can make a case.

R117 is right about the claims adjuster looking into Chris's ass.

Surely, Chris's wreckless behaviour contributed to his own downfall, invalidating his policy.

Any insurance experts in?

[quote]Who will play Chris in the movie version?

Mr. Potato Head is the obvious choice. Chris was one of those unfortunate schlubs who had no figure whatsoever. He was built like a…potato.. I mean, he really was.

And kudos to R104 for pointing out that Alex Borstein is a natural to play My Dough. Of course My Dough would be done as Ms. Swan, right down to Ms. Swan's manicurist's costume. I don't know how we missed that angle until now. ("It look-a like-a fist.")

The Asian brat from [italic]Modern Family[/italic] is a natural for the part of little Isabella.

Dame Joan Collins has agreed to take on the role of Sandra the Receptionist.

She'll add icy glamour to the movie.

Great news, squad! Last night, LITERALLY one second after the open letter I posted on Facebook was picked up by the Daily Mail, the VP of Guest Predilections contacted moi!!

Well, you know how I am when I am RIGHT about something! I gave that b*stard a piece of my beautiful mind! The way he stammered into the phone... Oh my word! My sass was like a throat-punch to the forearm hole! LOL!!

Anywho, don’t hate me because my status has been upgraded!

Yes, bitches....LIFETIME DIAMOND STATUS!!!

Even better, since the VP of Guest Predilections presides over the entire corporate entity, he told me that one of their snoot-a-toot-toot hotels — probably like Wyndham Garden or one of those hoity toits — is having some kind of brand tie-in thingy this month, and he will PERSONALLY create a status just for MOI and I will be the ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD to have it!!

Yes, bitches... Le Vian Chocolate Diamond® Status!!! Better still? I’m going to be on Ellen!!!

Whooohooooo!!!!!

Please promise you won’t start treating me differently?

R135 Jealous much!

Lifetime Diamond Days Inn status is like the Nando's Black card. I've heard tell of it. I've heard the about the exclusive Days Inn benefits it attracts, but I have NEVER seen one!

I am in awe of you R135. In awe.

I think Chris B. was cute and by no measure a schlub as described previously. Personally, I don't find Kevin James to be attractive at all.

Although he didn't look like Chris, I'd would think that Bob Crane would have appreciated the kink and excelled in the role.

Anne Hathaway's fraudster ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri looks A LOT like Borrous.

....

R138 is he available or is he doing time?

You're right. Let's pray that Raffaello will consent to read for the part.

I said the part is mine. Back off, bitch!

You gotta admit the pic at R139 is a pretty amazing resemblance.

Do you think Rafaello has experience of being fisted?

If I may be so bold, I’d like to propose casting two actors — one to play the public Chris and another who appears only in the Days Inn scenes.

For the latter, I’d love to see the sweaty, manic, speed-talking guy who reviews juicers on Youtube. I have no idea what his hole looks like but he’s perfect in every other way, and there’s always CGI.

[quote] I don't find Kevin James to be attractive at all.

You should’ve seen him in his high school days.

May I offer Mr. Ryan Cummings for your consideration. No , I'm not his agent.

There are some serious talent here for the lead role.

It's so difficult to say. Do any of you have pics of their asses, or them in gimp masks at all?

That Rafaello guy looks more like Zach Braff.

[quote]Do you think Rafaello has experience of being fisted? —Anonymous

meh, just a bigger peg

R150 Great point!

You don't use Lemon Pledge to clean carpet stains.

^^No no.

What about the stained massage table? R142

Rafaello and Chris could be brothers.

R155 Hell, they could be identical cousins.

Identical twins.

They have the same cell phone, but they pick each others up by mistake and hilarious events unfold when Rafaello answers a booty call on Chris's phone, thinking it's actually just a job installing disco lighting at his local Days Inn. Only to be greated by the mysterious Mr Fister, who promptly gets busy on his ass.

R138 — You're right—the dude really DOES look like Chris. Only Chris had pretty much zero sex appeal and had a body by Ore-Ida.

History repeating itself...?

They brought in this guy, also from Sacrememnto, I guess to fill Chris' space on the budgeted news roster:

R159 Is Evan into fisting too.

He looks Hawt!

How does it come that we know NOTHING about the hotelroom companion other than that he was male? Also did the alleged fb cousin post again?

Well the companion has some degree of anonimmity.

We're just waiting to see if the insurance company makes some sort of claim against them due to how Chris died with his hand up his butt.

@KFIAM640

Narcotics detectives in Glendale say they are still investigating the circumstances around the death of KTLA anchor Chris Burrous.

"Sgt. Dan Suttles told KFI’s Steve Gregory that the homicide portion of the investigation is officially closed"

It sounds as if the cops accept that Burrous introduced the drugs to himself, and the friend is off the hook for killing him.

[quote]Narcotics investigators are trying to find out how and where the meth was acquired.

I was wondering about that...meth is illegal, after all. I hope the fister doesn’t get charged with possession. He did the right thing and stayed until the EMTs got there when he could have run.

If Burrous had survived he would quite likely have been fired from his job as a result of the scandal. If so, he quite likely would be starring in a fisting porno as his only career option.

What's funny/sad is that, had he lived, he would not have been fired for fisting, he would have been fired for lying on his time card.

Eulogies at the funeral? Gravestone?

R165 Thank you for that important twist in Chris's tale.

A twist in Chris’ tale of a fist in Chris’ tail, r170.

[quote]Well the companion has some degree of anonimmity.

Oh, dear!

Would Glendale PD of tested Mr Fister for drugs?

How does it work over there?

Mr. Fister might get into trouble for the G

For the G?

GHB

Oh, thanks r176. I didn’t remember GHB being part of this case.

Chris was buried in a waterside niche at Rose Hills Cemetery in Whittier, CA.

I don't think he's marked yet.

R177 According to the police report Chris gave Mr. Fister GHB in a bottle of Gatorade which the fister told police he drank.

Is it against the law to ingest drugs other people give you?

[quote]I don't think he's marked yet.

He may not be, but the damn sheets are a wreck.

[quote]Is it against the law to ingest drugs other people give you?

No, it’s not. In fact, all those people in jail for doing drugs easily could’ve gotten out of trouble if their lawyer had only come up with the defense of, “But they were GIVEN to him.” Dumb lawyers I guess.

Da Fuck?

^ Oops sorry wrong thread.

R171 Now that would have been a great title for this thread.

I want to know about the police investigation. Would they have spoken to the guests in neighbouring rooms?

There must have been some sort of conference going on because Days Inn do some really great day rates. Surely, there must have been a Carmelite Nun Convention, or Friends of The Valley Bees Apiary Society meeting going on?

Perhaps, a nun helped Chris taking in his DJ rig or massage table?

R171 When I read this, The Ballad of Jed Clampett (or whatever the theme song of the Beverley Hillbillies was called ) came to mind. Now I envision the Burrous saga as a possible sit-com.

Any suggestions for a Burrous sit-com title ?

Bakersfield news site talk about reportage of the story:

[quote]Would Glendale PD of tested Mr Fister for drugs?

Oh, DEAR!

How did they know that Chris was stuffing rocks of crystal up his ass?

Surely Mr Fister's fisting would have dissolved them, unless he wasn't fisting Chris adequately?

Because the male companion told them so. Go read the autopsy report, r190.

Can someone please link the autopsy report here?

R191 How come they found rocks up his bum?

Had he just bumped before died?

How long does Crystal take to dissolve anally?

Here you go, r192.

R193 There’s nothing about “rocks up the bum” in the autopsy findings.

r195, please look at the autopsy report linked above, and go to page 20. Quote from the witness statement: "The decedent then inserted a "rock" of crystal meth in his anus and stated it was supposed to make him "high and loose.""

R196 That’s the ‘companion’s statement to detectives. I’m talking about the physical findings in the actual autopsy. No “rocks up the bum” were noted.

...although the coroner does note that the rectum was reddened and bleeding. Nothing about “rocks.”

Because they had already dissolved and been absorbed into his system? Hence the high levels of meth in his blood? All the time the guy was giving him CPR, and the paramedics were working on him, the rocks were dissolving. They were long gone into his bloodstream by the time the coroner got the body.

Chris's fister got a blister

On his wrist, stuck up his sister.

Thanks for linking the report. No way Chris and Mr.Fister met 6 months prior to his death on Grindr and only hooked up 4 times before the fatal afternoon.

[quote]I hope the fister doesn’t get charged with possession. He did the right thing and stayed until the EMTs got there when he could have run.

Don’t some states now have laws that witnesses can’t be prosecuted for drug crimes during an overdose if they call for help, and stay on the scene? Does California?

These laws were intended for opioid overdoses to prevent people from running and not getting help, but I imagine it would apply here too?

Excellent point, R202. I’m pretty sure my state does. Either that or it’s just the police department’s policy here.

Matt Lauer was paid millions by those idiots at NBC. About 5 minutes after he was fired no one remembered or cared about him. And the rating didn't suffer at all.

Just goes to show that the execs don't know fuck all about how to pay these people.

Justice delivered in famous GoFundMe scam

Was Mr Fister into Crystal or not?

He says he wasn't, and the cops may or may not believe him.

They believe he didn't induce the drugs that killed Chris B.

[quote]How long does Crystal take to dissolve anally?

I intend to find OUT!

What is the chem sex etiquette for Crystal?

Is it for the bottom to self administer his Crystal, in case he dies? Leaving the top exonerated from any wrong doing.

[quote]Any suggestions for a Burrous sit-com title ?

Everybody Fists Chris

Meth And The Shitty

Omg.

Chris's Crystal Calamity!

Deep Impact

Another more normal GoFundMe account

Sadddd

The chem sex etiquette is similar to the silverware in fine dining: you work from the outside in.

R216 That's very reassuring because I don't wanna commit a social faux pas when chemming up.

Oh good heavens no, R217. I mean, could you ever forgive yourself? How embarrassing!

R210 Everybody Fists Chris is the Everybody Loves Raymond for a new generation.

Not quite everyone, r219.

He asked me to fist him, but i turned him down for being too old.

I want Matt Damon cast as the fister.

I thought he was playing the dead Fistee?

I thought we pretty much had carte blance in casting the unseen Mr Fister role.

I imagine him to be tall, swarthy and have big hands.

Adrian Brody is BACK as Mr. Fister

Mark Mester for Mister Fister.

[quote] I imagine him to be tall, swarthy and have big hands.

How about Adam Sandler? We have great chemistry.

There are so many great suggestions.

I think all of them should audition for the part.

Who is going to play the Asian wife on Everybody Fists Chris?

[quote] I want Matt Damon cast as the fister.

Why?

R202 R203 - Yes, in California, even if he admitted to taking some illegal substance himself, it sounds like he'd be protected under what's referred to as the "911 Good Samaritan Law."

(pdf file link)

R227 emma stone

Olivia Colman or Melissa McCarthy as Sandra on Reception?

This saga brought to mind two movies: Fantastic Voyage and Journey to the Center of the World.

A remake of Fantastic Voyage with blood clot replace by the two rocks and the tear duct replaced by the anus.

As for Journey - I remember the underground crystal cavern.

The Crystal Maze

[quote]Who is going to play the Asian wife on Everybody Fists Chris?

I thought it had already been decided—Alex Borstein will reprise her role as Ms. Swan to play My Dough. ("Oh, no, he putta his fist uppa his lotus blossom and thenna he go urpy inna the funny halloween mask and thenna it is bye-bye Chrees, go washa your hand Meester Feester.")

[quote] Who is going to play the Asian wife on Everybody Fists Chris?

Meryl Streep.

Surely, this is the Oscar winning performance that Glenn Close needs to get her across the line in 2020?

Matt Damon is very sexy, that's why, bitch.

Play Fistee for Me

Okay, R238...you win with that one. Definitely the best.

Absolutely! That should be the title of the next thread.

"Surely, this is the Oscar winning performance that Glenn Close needs to get her across the line in 2020?"

Yes! Can we also find a role for Amy Adams in this?

R242 Would Amy Adams be good for the part of Consuela or the scheming GoFundMai relative?

Amy Adams better not get any ideas about the role I’ve been promised — Fat Womon on HAZMAT Detail.

America Ferrera as his long-suffering co-anchor Lynette Romero.

Remember when so many thought he died doing heroin with a friend?

We were so young then.

We need a love interest for GofundMy, following her separation from Chris.

I'm thinking someone big n bouncy.

Not surprisingly, KTLA is in a bit of denial. Just now on the show he used to anchor, they referred to him as "When Chris was here....". Like he's just moved on to a different time slot or something.

The whole thing was kind of a mind fuck for his co-workers. Even though they probably sensed he was doing drugs, the fisting stuff really put it over the top.

Even for us.

What ate they supposed to say, R247. “Before Disco Chris died with a fistful of meth rocks up his ass...?”

Hopefully Chrissy Metz will have a role?

Sounds like his co-workers weren't reaching out to Chris.

Maybe they were reaching in to him, R251.

Amy will be playing MJ according to the Leaving Neverland thread. She can do better than a local newscaster biopic.

R252 Did they run an in-depth story on Chris?

I agree, someone needs to dig deep into this story. Do a hard-hitting probe to bring out the facts. The public deserves this!

I agree.

Chris needs probing further.

I wonder if any of his work colleagues suspected he was into hardcore bottoming?

I think the staining on the studio couch was a tell tale sign.

🎶 Reach out and touch, somebody's hand...

Is Clint Eastwood available to direct? After all, he was in Fistfull of Dollars.

Only if it had of been a 3 way session with a an experienced and inexperienced fister R260.

The good. The bad. And the fistee.

Every Which Way AND Loose.

Dirty Fister!

Fists of Our Fathers

Apparently the wife told police that he used to “go to clubs”, but wasn’t into that anymore.

Two GoFundMe's for Sister MyDough.

If you read the autopsy, the investigator had to show her evidence before she would grudgingly admit things.

R265 That's what they all say.

[quote]Apparently the wife told police that he used to “go to clubs”, but wasn’t into that anymore.

He told me it was Bingo night at the Knights of Columbus!

Wonder what he told the wifey when he’d come home and crash for days after a meth binge? “The flu”?

Looking For Mr. Goodfist

American Fister

More readers fret about reportage of Chris B's death details.

I want MORE details!

Anyone seen his Grindr profile in the past and have details?

Probably a black box

If they film it as an epic, Gone With The Fist.

Well it will probably need to be in wide screen

Man and Fisto

"Everything's Coming Up Rosebuds"

Finn Wittrock IN as Chris Burroughs, directed and produced by Ryan Murphy. Cody Fern in talks to play Mister Fister.

The Mefisto Waltz

From r273's link: "Burrous is not alive today to tell his side of the story". WHAT side? I think we got all sides and a few extra dimensions from the autopsy report. God, people are stupid.

If only Chris had left behind a manifisto to explain his position, R283.

I think we know what his position was, r284.

R273 Well, it IS "The Bakersield Californian" in typically conservative Kern County, and honestly, I was a little surprised that a newspaper in that area of California would report the story that way. The paper was actually the first news outlet I saw that put a link up to the entire autopsy at their website. I believe they took it down a few hours later, and that move didn't surprise me.

Bakersfield conservatives are hard core. That's where I learned everything I knew!

aint he the one who died from massive meth? why such sympathy for his bad choices, jus askin….

Since Chris used to work in Bakersfield could it be that someone at "The Bakersfield Californian" had an axe to grindr where he was concerned?

R283 I think it's important for journalistic balance to be able to get a gimp mask wearing, Crystal using, fistee's view of the story.

The must be a dime a douzen in LA?

r113, you're such a fooler. I was going to oh dear your loose/lose goof, but I think you did that on purpose.

I think we can safely say that Chris spread a lotta love around the LA area.

R288, where do you see sympathy? Here?

This is the wrong place for My-Dough to look for sympathy after her TWO semi successful GoFundMai campaigns.

Isabella likely won't see a penny. Her dreams of opening a therapeutic community for recovering fisters, the aptly named 'Chris Burrous Dilation Centre.' will have to be put on ice, or crystal.

So exactly what "clubs" did he go to?

Did anyone else see the new casting notice for the Datalounge Community Theatre’s production of [italic]Polecats[/italic]?

It seems Muriel hasn’t heard from the actors playing Mister Fistoffelees and McCavity since right before Christmas and the old gal is in quite a bind.

And don’t even ask — the role you’d all love to have, Bum2Tum Plugger, is way beyond your reach.

[quote]So exactly what "clubs" did he go to?

More to the point, what kind of clubs went into him?

Did Stallone play Burrous in F.I.S.T?

This is an absolutely classic DL thread!

I love it!

Jackie Stallone would be perfect as Sandra on Reception!

Cool Hand Luke!

The Gauntlette

I wonder if the toilet in the motel rom was a Price Pfister?®

I wonder if he took any Pfizer products to stay hard?

I'm conflicted. I would've liked to fuck him, but not have him die on me.

How long before the CD containing the photos taken at the hotel room get leaked?

I don't think the photos will be leaked. The CHP leaked photos of a gal who split her head open and died in a car wreck, and they got in big trouble for that.

I remember that r307. That was pretty fucked up and the photos were really graphic. Her whole head was split open and you could see her brains.

R308 Lets face it, no one wants to see Chris's vomet covered gimp mask, and Mr Fister smiling at the camera, with his hand stuck up Chris's ass, post mortem.

Even if they were available I think I would pass on looking at them. The details about his death were TMI.

Any indication on how deep Mr Fister got into Chris's ass?

Are we talking just a few finger or elbow depth?

Up to his lungs, R311.

At least that’s what I heard from Sandra.

Sandra would know about that.

Chris wasn't shy about telling everyone how much he could take.

.....

[quote] I'm conflicted. I would've liked to fuck him, but not have him die on me.

I almost understand these feelings. I would have not liked to fuck my husband but I would like him to die on me.

R314 Where did you get hold of the Glendale Police Dept crime scene photos?

R316: lolz - the fister actually looks a little like Chris, no?

R317 Were you 'intimate' with Chris then?

[quote]The CHP leaked photos of a gal who split her head open and died in a car wreck

She split her own head open and *then* died in a car wreck?

Sounds like the plot to a De Palma film.

R314, How is that even humanly possible?

Good call R319! Hadn’t picked that up myself.

It's possible.

No comma between and and died.

R314- he can probably feel the spleen through the colon. Grossed

The unreliability of Dreams is of more than passing interest to Garrow. According to Jager, Obama crossed a line in how he portrayed her, abusing his literary license. Along with his previous girlfriend, Genevieve Cook, and perhaps others, she was folded into a composite character, left unnamed. Dreams described the character as white even though, Jager told Garrow, “I don’t consider myself exclusively white, as I am half Asian.” As Jager saw it, theirs wasn’t a relationship between a black man and a white woman but one between two interracial Americans. “Barack is as white as I am,” she told Garrow.

Jager also told Garrow that the scene, in Dreams, that precipitated their breakup—a bitter row about race after they saw a play by an African-American playwright—misrepresented the issues that actually divided them. In Jager’s telling, the searing fight took place after they saw an exhibit at Chicago’s Spertus Institute about the 1961 Adolf Eichmann trial, a very different context. Where Dreams portrayed the lovers’ rift as at bottom a function of racial difference, Jager, while acknowledging the racial component of their strains, insisted she was mainly upset that day that Obama, in her recollection, was less than unequivocal in condemning “black racism”; it was at a moment when the overt anti-Semitism of Steve Cokely, a black mayoral aide in Chicago, had become a cause célèbre in local politics. To Jager, what doomed their future together was Obama’s incorrigible “realism,” his perpetual readiness to accept and work within given realities—a trait she saw developing in the course of their relationship—while she wanted him to display moral courage.

Ooops

Ugh. So scary. r314. Can someone who experienced it firsthand describe the feeling. What is so pleasurable about it. I am asking both the fisters and the fistees.

Sandra Oh as My Dough

R327 "at first hand" made me chuckle

TMZ has reported that Burt Bacharach has composed the theme song, "Take It Easy in Yourself", for the upcoming Chris Burros biography feature film. The legendary Dionne Warwick is in talks to record the new ballad for the film. TMZ has also learned that a new EDM recording of a medley featuring the "Relax" with "I Put My Hand In", from the Broadway Musical Hello Dolly, will also be featured during the climactic Hotel scene. Vocals to be provided by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

That's a fisting, sorry fitting tribute to Chris

WI Dionne be wearing a sombre Caftan in remembrance?

R307 R309 etc. To clarify, I'm not talking about photos of Burrous in the hotel room. Something like that may not even exist. After all, he was presumed to still be alive (though unconscious) when the cops and paramedics showed up, and they began working on him. This continued in the ambulance, and his death wasn't called until after hospital emergency room crew worked on him.

I'm only talking about the "CD of photos" that the coroner references, which supposedly shows all the accoutrements in the hotel room.

His life was almost as pitiable as his death.

[quote]Mr Fister smiling at the camera, with his hand stuck up Chris's ass

How'd they get him out, jaws of life?

After all, he was presumed to still be alive (though unconscious) when the cops and paramedics showed up, and they began working on him.

R306 Is it usual for the emergency services to fist a patient too? Was this some sort of a uniform orgy?

[quote][R308] Lets face it, no one wants to see Chris's vomet covered gimp mask, and Mr Fister smiling at the camera, with his hand stuck up Chris's ass, post mortem.

Yes. Yes we do.

As a fister (not the fistee) a few times in the wild 70s, it feels oddly pleasurable. I did know a guy who had to have rectum reconstruction.

In that pic at r314, where the hell does that arm go? Don't the intestines turn at some point well short of the length of that arm...?

R337 Was overenthusiastic fisting the cause, or natural wear and tear?

It was a combo. He didn't like to do anything that didn't involve his ass. Was out of commission for a month and his doctor told him no more fisting.

R340 Was it deep tissue reconstruction work or more cosmetic surgery?

Paging Dr. Evan Goldstein, Bespoke surgical.

Does anal reconstruction surgery have a name?

Yes, “bespoke”.

Did Chris have reconstructive anal surgery do we know?

Or was he just a rookie?

R345 Sounded like a rookie to me, since he reportedly told Mr. Fister that the drug combo he would be taking was meant to make him "loose." .. Would a guy in his mid-40s who'd been getting fisted for years and years really need to worry about getting loose?

No rookie

Rookies he is not. He was a professional fistee. Disco lights and everything. Just this time things got a little bit sideways.

Literally.

Use of Mask and Poppers:

This makes me so glad I'm not into fisting.

[quote]It was a combo. He didn't like to do anything that didn't involve his ass. Was out of commission for a month and his doctor told him no more fisting.

Oh my. Imagine having to fill that out on an insurance form.

Nature of incident: My asshole fell out.

A partner is not always necessary:

I think that Chris was an intermediate fistee.

Whilst he came fully equipped with massage table and disco lighting, it strikes me that he made a very basic error in his choice of gimp mask.

Whilst his gimp mask made inhillation of poppers effective, it nevertheless provided inefficient evacuation of vomit.

Perhaps gimp mask manufacturers need too look at their designs and come up with safer products for customers?

I would suggest that regulatory authorities look at gimp mask safety, as a result of Chris's death. Perhaps, safer gimp masks could be Chris's real legacy, with Mai-Dough and Isabella championing a Safer Fisting Campaign in the future?

Can we get a hashtag trending, R354?

Maybe #gimpmasksafety or #nopukegimp or something?

R355 That's an excellent point. I definitely feel that a successful social media campaign, highlighting the dangers of unregulated gimp masks would gain traction with the wider public.

#gimptoo

Fistees, do you long for the blissful mindfuck of a poppers-soaked gimp mask but worry about aspiration pneumonia...or worse? Perhaps you have an unpleasant memory of trying on grandpa's gimp mask and being knocked down by the stench of vomit? Or maybe you're just a bad fistee who's intimidated by the idea of having your head encased in a gimp mask that takes some time to remove?

Your concerns are not unfounded.

Each year, thousands of dilettante fistees are killed or injured by old and unsafe gimp masks. Modern gimp masks using state-of-the-art technology help keep fistees safe. But with so many old-fashioned masks still on the market, many fistees find the selection process overwhelming.

If you are a prospective fistee, take the time to learn about safe-and-sane modern gimp masks. Once you're armed with the facts, you'll find that there's never been a better or safer time to practice your magic. Who cares about a rabbit pulled out of a hat when you, the safe and modern fistee, can make a powerlifter's arm disappear?

Don't worry, we're not here to shatter your meth-addled brain with a detailed explanation of our innovative technology! In layman's terms, we have combined the triggering mechanism of a glass-bulb sprinkler head with an airbag. The instant your vomit hits the glass bulb, it shatters and triggers a small outward-facing airbag. Upon deployment, the airbag tears open our proprietary seam system allowing your vomit to spew well beyond the range of aspiration. Pretty cool, huh?

Be safe. Throw away that old, outdated, and dangerous mask and shop for a safe-and-sane model bearing the seal of the Concerned Gimp Mask Engineers for Safety. And remember...

[bold]Arm yourself with facts before you arm yourself with arm[/bold]

Fantastic

W&W for r357!

Brilliant!

Hmm, speaking of Unsafe Gimp Mask...

[quote]…The instant your vomit hits the glass bulb, it shatters and triggers a small outward-facing airbag. Upon deployment, the airbag tears open our proprietary seam system allowing your vomit to spew well beyond the range of aspiration. Pretty cool, huh?…

A good name for this amazing device could be [italic]Chuck-It®.[/italic]

R357 One of THE FUNNIEST posts I've ever read on here!

Perhaps My-Dough and Isabella could start a Justgiving campaign to fund nationwide gimp mask amnesty boxes?

They could be set up in Town Halls across the country, for fistees to anonymously drop off their worn, dangerous or homemade gimp masks. No questions asked.

Waiting for the late-night infomercial of R357's ad copy. Who will be the celebrity spokesperson?

R364 Who would you like to see front the campaign?

Laura Bush? Betty White? Michelle Obama?

George W. Bush. He has homespun sincerity.

R366 Delivered like an FDR fireside chat?

R353, I could have lived my whole (not hole) life wiithout having to see That photo!

R353, I could have lived my entire life without having to see That photo!

Did they use the disco lighting for Chris's wake?

It would be a fitting tribute if they did.

[quote]It would be a [bold]fisting[/bold] tribute if they did.

Fixed that little typo you had there.

Thank you R371

I wonder if My-Dough put on any entertainment at the wake?

Entertainment? The gory-hole wall was tremendous!

R373 Fisting walls are always popular at these celebratory events.

The Dildo Bar was busy. They were serving a lot of Screwdrivers.

Did you try either of the poppers bars, R374? I stayed away from this one because, as you can see, it attracted the most miserable of the mourners.

The underwater poppers lounge was so much livelier. I even played Jenga!

I was worried about vomitting issues R376

The disco was popular afterwards.

Lovely to see Chris's rig being used in fisting tribute.

Why Chris wasn't allowed to cover space rocket launches:

elonmusk

Testing Starship heatshield hex tiles

I don't know R379.

Do you think it was because Chris was based miles away from Florida?

Have you heard of Vandenberg?

I have not.

Does anyone have an update on how Mai-Dough's Just Give Mai Dough campaigns are going?

I was going to ask the same thing. Has Dragon Lady gone to the well a time too many?

I think that there's too much exposure in the Burrous household as it is!

R383 The first one started by newscaster, Gigi Graciette, seems to have topped out at $80,890 - surpassing it's original $75,000 goal by nearly $16,000. But the last contribution was nearly two weeks ago for only $5.

The second one started by the sister had a $50,000 goal and stands at $36,153 today. The last contribution was nine days ago for $50.

So she's gonna get at least $117K

R351, it's the ketamine use, particularly, that allowed the fisting to go so far. Ketamine is an anesthetic, so it's likely he didn't feel what would have been more and more painful in an undrugged man.

This is the first I've heard K mentioned.

Was Chris doing bumps of K too?

It looks like Mai grabbed the money and ran...

Did she R389?

Tell us more. Has she closed down the MaiDonate appeals?

I guess that a much loved weekend anchor dying in a fisting chem sesh, only has limited donation time really?

I don't know how GoFundMe works -- do they wait until everyone stops donating before they disperse the funds, or do they send checks whenever a certain point is reached?

Angela Wong contributed $50 three hours ago today. Whut wong wit dat?

Hmm, Poppers:

R391 One of GoFundMe's selling points is that people looking to raise money have almost immediate access to donations.

[quote] We help families and communities get back on their feet quickly. The majority of our organizers can withdraw funds immediately, while many other platforms place a seven to 30-day hold.

And both GoFundMe's are still up. BTW ... The widow didn't put them up herself. .. The first one was put up by local newscaster, Gigi Graciette, and the other one by the sister, Rosemary. So they would probably have to be the ones to take them down.

Has Gigi weighed in on her buddy since the autopsy report?

So Dragon Lady has withdrawn some of the $s and has treated herself to a weekend in Vegas has she?

I would suggest she think about establishing a permanent 501c3 foundation.

R387 They were doing GHB, not ketamine.

Mr. Fister told the police that he drank the Gatorade w/ GHB, but didn't indicate Burrous did.

The guy in R314 has to be an amputee. There is no way to get a full arm that deep.

I knew a lad who got off dating gay amputee guys.

He would actually try and seek them out to have sex with.

Dragon Lady very rich now.

Dragon Lady no longer have to trade Hershey Bar for fucky-fucky. No sell Isabella on side.

Wouldn't someone be in pain after a vigorous fishing session that caused bleeding? Do regular indulgers just ride it out afterwards with tylenol and maxipads?

R403 I think what you mean is entirely different!

When Chris croaked, did Mr Foster hear any last words?

Maybe this has been discussed before, but since he was wearing a mask, do you think it definitely means they were filming?

Nothing on the fister yet?

[quote]When Chris croaked, did Mr Foster hear any last words?

Since Chris was vomiting at the time, it would be a safe assumption that it went something like,"RRRRUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPP."

I hope he didn't choke on our Bananas Foster

I think Mr. Fister thought he's heard a sneeze so he said, "God bless you."

[quote]Nothing on the fister yet?

Oh, I'm sure there was a [italic]lot[/italic] on the fister. Unfortunately, too much time has passed and sniffing his bicep today won't tell you a thing.

That's how we can find out who Mr. Fister is!! Anyone suspected of being a possibility, lets cozy up and sniff his bicep and give a knowing wink. Only the real Mr. Fister will panic!

Do you think that Mr Foster has fisted since?

Or has the experience with Chris been to traumatic for him?

It sounds like some of you would give your right arm to know Mr. Fister's identity,

Unfortunately, at this point, I don't think even strong arm tactics would get the Glendale Police to reveal his name.

So, you might as well just throw your arms up in despair, now.

I think it's over and trying to twist someone's arm ain't gonna work.

This information is simply not within arm's reach.

I think the best you can hope for is for Mr. Fister to see that you would welcome him with open arms.

Perhaps he might eventually come forward and raise his hand himself.

R414, spare us your heavy-handed attempts at humor.

I think a seance is in order. Chris is probably bored out of his mind in the afterlife and would love nothing more than outing Mr. Fister and, ahem, stirring some shit on Datalounge.

Now is the time for one of our XXL-but-passes-for-a-medium gentlemen to step forward and play Eva Carrière. But if you’re feeling ambivalent about taking on the responsibility, this will no doubt change your mind:

[quote]Carrière’s assistant (and reported lover) Juliette Bisson would, during the course of the séance sittings with Schrenck-Notzing, introduce her finger into Carrière’s vagina to ensure no “ectoplasm” had been put there beforehand. this would be followed by Carrière stripping nude at the end and demanding another full-on gynaecological exam. Whether the audience members were obliging is up for debate, but reports that Carrière would run around the séance room naked indulging in sexual activities with her audience suggests perhaps so.

R408 Yeah, the autopsy report says the fister heard Burrous grunting after he stopped responding verbally. That’s when he knew something was wrong.

Mr. Fister will come forward. He has a book coming.

I think the key to the seance will be knowing their safe word.

[quote] Mr. Fister will come forward. He has a book coming.

I hear the publisher has paid an arm and a leg.

And with the sale of the film rights, he'll make out like a one-armed bandit.

[quote]I think the key to the seance will be knowing their safe word.

Yeah, too bad for Chris the safe word was "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

R414 I did enjoy that bit of armless fun.

Thing of Beauty:

Is that Chris's leaked postmortem pic?

Yes.

R425 Thanks.

I thought I recognised him.

R426 = Mr. Fister.

Tell us more!

Is the DL still milking the GoFundMe(s)? She must have the life insurance by now.

R427 Apologies.

R423 is a stunt double of Chris.

Apologies everyone!

R423 is a picture of Chris showing what the 8:38 am stretch ACTUALLY involves.

(Little inside joke for regular viewers of the KTLA morning weekend news.)

R430 Is any able to confirm that IS Chris in R423?

Bless your heart, r431.

Hey, isn't anyone going to talk about me anymore?

Not since you died, no, R433.

I rich lady now.

Oh hia Mi-Dough!

Has the disco light been sold yet?

I'm rich now too R435

R437 I have been looking in the small ads of The Glendale Observer, but no dice.

Only a slightly stained massage table has appeared recently in there.

Someone still donated $500 to the gofund MyDough account just five days ago.

You'd think she'd put the massage table and disco lights on eBay to start a bidding war.

[quote]You'd think she'd put the massage table and disco lights on eBay to start a bidding war.

I bid $250 for both. Bitch at r440, you better not outbid me!

Christ this juvenile crapfest of a thread is still going on?

[quote]crapfest of a thread

I see what you did there.

No you don’t see R443. There was no hidden meaning.

[quote]No you don’t see [R443]. There was no hidden meaning.

Oh, but there is! I'd tell you what it is, but I'm no stool pigeon.

r445 is being fecestious

What's with all the wise cracks?

This hole thread has taken a weird turn.

Its fundament-ally wrong.

Quite impolite and really scraping the bottom of the ol' barrel now.

Any news on the Chris Burrous Memorial Picnic?

I understand that My-Dough has gotten together with the Glendale Leather Biker community and they plan to hold a memorial picnic quite soon.

The only thing I’ve heard so far, r451, is that watermelons will be banned from the picnic.

It’s not quite clear why, though.

R452 My-Dough is a party pooper!

My Dough's late husband was just a pooper.

Was watching one of the ManBearPig episodes of South Park. Their drawing of Al Gore looks so much more like Chris Burrous. Just like their George Bush looks more like Dan Rather. They even had a character that looked spot on like Karen Duffy oddly enough. Hope the link works