EastEnders Part 8

From the last thread:

[quote] Alfie is intolerable now. Will they ever fucking explain how they frittered away £1m?

There's supposed to be an upcoming episode where Kat & Alfie reference the events that happened in "Redwater," so maybe something will be said about the money then.

But honestly, given what an idiot Alfie is, they could say just about anything in regard to the money, and it would be believable.

And what about Alfie's brain tumor? THAT storyline actually started on regular EastEnders. As I recall, the surgery he was having at the end of "Redwater," while risky, was only some kind of exploratory thing to further determine what they were dealing with. It wasn't meant to cure his condition. He should be dead or at the very least having headaches and seizures all the time. And actually, after the last week of him, I wish the character were dead.

Obviously, not a recent photograph of Danny Dyer

I couldn’t bring myself to watch the Linda & Fuggo episode tonight.

Has Sharon lost weight?

No.

I certainly hope Linda thought about protection. Who would want a baby with that creep?

She better not piss him off, or he'll rape her. You know he doesn't trust her.

Loved the bit at the end when she removed that mic from her hair.

But Stuart is so FUGLY. And Ricky Champ can’t act for shit.

Stewart is scary ugly but he does play crazy pretty well. Maybe it's not really an act !

We need gay male characters on EE. Presently we have a bisexual woman and a non-sexual lesbian.

R9 I assume you're talking about Sonia and Tina? .. But we've also got drug queen-pin, Evie, who's like some kind of predatory lesbian or just 'sexual'. .. And I don't know what we're supposed to think of (questioning?) Bernadette or Tiffany. So yeah, we're really lacking on the male front.

Yeah, I forgot about the young lesbians. I assume it's just experimentation, except for Bernadette. Actually we need some gender-queer, non-binaries. Perhaps Dot can finally come out as an asexual.

R11 Yeah, they're all pretty easy to forget ... lol! .. Not much to write about. .. I was thinking Ray has so many affairs going on that he's almost like a sex addict. .. They should have thought about making at least one of his ongoing relationships be with a guy. They could explain it by saying it started when he was on some "undercover assignment" where he had to play gay and, well, things happen in the line of duty.

Bernadette and Tiffany will end in tears

I actually like Jagger and Tiff. And I'm glad that they did something of a pivot and showed that he's more or less a pawn as well. I wonder if Oates will keep him around.

R12, I like the way you think.

Is Hunter 16 yet? If so time for him to enjoy some homosex.

Is Ray still putting moves on Louise?

[quote] Is Hunter 16 yet?

I believe Hunter turned 16 a few weeks ago, when he and Louise had their combo birthday party at e20.

I’m the person who only started watching in April this year, and prior to 1993.

Is it a tradition that someone dies each Christmas?

Is Kush still doing security work for Mel at e20?

After the club closes up one night, Hunter should inform Kush of a "problem" that needs taking care of in the storeroom, then arrange for the door to lock behind them. .. Oh no! Looks like they'll be stuck their all night until Billy re-opens in the morning!

Their portmanteau can be "Hush."

R18, it sometimes happen just before Christmas (like Nana Moon) and on NewYear’s Eve (like Roxy and Ronnie(.

I’m praying Halfwit snuffs it this Christmas.

I like a Kunter pairing, R19.

I still have sex dreams about Dan Sullivan and Jamie Mitchell getting it on in the Arches. The sexual tension between them was palpable.

R21 .. hahaha and your smushname is better.

Thanks, R19. I’m no fan of smushnames going back to Jeva (Josh and Reva on Guiding Light) but I do think Kunter has a nice ring to it.

16 in Martin’s house.

R25 And next week Haley's mom, Bev, shows up, saying she's homeless and needs a place to stay .

Yours, Mine & ,Ours.

Obviously the number in the Slater apartment is meant as a running joke. But if it causes Martin to pair up with Kush in a "non-traditional family" arrangement so be it. Also the acting in the Linda Stuart scene was pretty good for EE standards. The acting does tend to improve in the longer scenes. I also liked the bar debate about rape. They got to expand their acting range a bit. Mo's comments were funny. She's one of my favorite characters as she reminds me a bit of my grandmother.

[quote] Obviously the number in the Slater apartment is meant as a running joke.

Well, at first; but now it's become a tiresome joke. .. You'd think they'd welcome Haley moving to Masood's with Cherry. They're just across the road. And if Alfie has enough cash to afford a loft conversion, why not just use that money for the deposit and first month's rent on a small flat? They could get by with 2 bdrms. .. Combined, that would get rid of 7 of them. .. Makes little sense.

I'm also laughing at the choir practice scenes. They keep arguing about who's going to do "the solo," when they have Bex just sitting there, filling a seat. She's a music student who's actually performed more than a couple of times, yet no one suggests her.

Louise and Keegan did quite well with their duet in the "BBC Children in Need Fundraiser." Whitney also has a decent voice, as well as does Honey's boyfriend Adam. Why not any of them?

You're right about Adam, R30; he could also do it. .. But I don't think Keegan, Louise, or Whitney are part of the choir.

Martin Kemp (Steve Owen) was originally a member of the group [italic] Spandau Ballet.

I started watching this year but - Arthur is Kush's son? Does Carmel know this?

R33 Yes. Everyone knows that Arthur is Kush's son. Earlier this year, Carmel even tried to get Kush to go for custody of Arthur himself, because of the marital discord between Stacey and Martin over Stacey's fling with Max.

And even before that, Carmel and Stacey have had there share of issues over Arthur .....

So Lola is returning ... and they've already got the two, new Ahmed sisters, Iqra and Habiba (Masood's nieces), on board ... and they're currently casting Karen's oldest daughter, Chantelle.

What about some new MEN?

We need another member of the Taylor clan about as much as we need another member of the Slater tribe.

Why is Ian being friendly to Jean all of a sudden?

Because they're leading up to them getting it on apparently.

Doesn't mention how many viewers have left during his time.

We're 2 weeks behind on Eastenders here.

So whose gonna murder Stuart for Christmas?

I hope Alfie isn’t killed by Kat. He is a better actor than most of the other men.

I hope Dot kills him.

Poisoned sponge cake.

I think Phil will do the deed.

If they don't want to make any of the regulars a killer, there's also Stuart's daughter, Zara. They mentioned her again this week.

Maybe Dylan isn't really dead, and will return to murder Stuart on New Year's Eve.

Zara was a pretty good actress. Polished, but hard-faced.

Why do some patrons of the Vic call cabs just to go across the street.Its silly and the park square isn't that wide.....

You should take a cab to cross the square, if you want to live. Being hit by a car is a likely way to die in EastEnders.

or falling of roofs if your father is Max Branning

Steve Owen was so hot. I'm watching the nine-years-behind-the present PBS EastEnders, but I hold out hope that Steve escaped that car and has been "in Spain" all these years.

I really had the hots for Martin Kemp as Steve even though he looked like a Thunderbird.

Lofty and Mary The Punk look exactly how I would expect them too.

I hate Mary's wig..... [R53]

R51, sorry, no way Steve had time to escape that car. The show bosses made sure that Steve exploded in that car because Kemp had signed a “golden handcuffs” deal with ITV so they wanted Steve DEAD so he could never return.

Phil helping to deliver Kim’s baby was pretty funny.

Bit too much tongue there, Alfie!

R56 Nothing will ever beat Phil resuscitating one of Lady Di's puppies

Shit ... It's going forward with more ...

Stuart and Mick need to throw each other off the roof of the Vic and die two horrible deaths , maybe landing on Alfie and Hayley , killing them too .

Here’s wishing you mugs a pwopa nawty Christmas, innit?

Is Jean off her meds again?

#Jian

Where the fuck are Sharon and Kathy?

R63 Sharon's in Australia visiting Michelle and Vicki.

If they mentioned that Kathy was going somewhere, I didn't hear. I don't think she's been seen since early November.

Thank God Alfie was finally exposed for the vicious loser he was deep down.

I think it was mentioned that Kathy’s in New Zealand, probably to visit her grandson Peter. I don’t get why she’s been off screen so much, though.

I thought Kathy is in Portugal . At least they had that weird scene where she announced she was heading there .

I'm a Corrie fan who normally dislikes EastEnders, but most of my family are fans of both, so on Christmas Day we all watch them both together. And I have to confess that tonight's episode of EastEnders was much better than Corrie's. Feels rather blasphemous for me to admit that.

I don't want Alfie to die because the show is lacking men who can act.

And three new women are joining the cast in the New Year.

With Lola and Lexi returning next year I hope we'll get Ben back too . It's time somebody finally deals with the fact that Ben is Lexi's father .

I think Lola will be Jay’s love interest, though. I can see Ben showing up at their wedding, and he announces he’s fighting for custody of Lexi with help from Phil.

Why doesn't someone just put a bullet in Stuart's head and put everyone out of their misery? It could be the 2019 p!of of the year. And with so many suspects, they may never get to the bottom of it. And no one will even care if his murder is solved.

Stuart is such s fucking fuggo. They should do a Murder on the Orient Express type murder with him.

How far in advance are episodes shot?

Dot will murder Stuart by mistake.

R73 OK! Magazine had an article about EE earlier this year saying the range is 6 - 12 weeks in advance.

R70 But Ben's never shown much interest in Lexie, and personally, I really don't need another gay-related storyline where the guy wants to have a baby or is fighting over a kid.

Although, I'd probably change my mind if it were Kush & Martin opting to co-habitate and go for full custody of Arthur to get him away from the Slater banshees.

Does Kat own the house where Stacy and Martin live? She making it sound as though she does.

If the Slaters don't vacate soon, you might get your wish, r76, when Martin gets disgusted and decides to move out and stay at Kush's. Denise will be too wrapped up with Kim and her expanding brood to even notice.

I think Stacey holds the lease.

R78 Yeah, I believe Tina offered Stacey the remainder of the lease when Tina had to vacate. (Recall, Tina had lived there with Sonia, who left for Kettering when they split up. Sonia had taken it over when Carol left.)

So Alfie’s actually alive. Yawn.

^^^ At least we'll be spared another scene where Jay has to try to explain how much funerals cost to bunch of skint people who want the works.

R76 Ben has daddy issues and I think exploring and moving past them through Ben's relationship or better non relationship with Lexi would be a competent storyteller's wet dream . You could also bring Kathy into the story , Jay obviously too . I never understood why they got rid of Lola and Lexi and never dealt with the fact that Ben is this girls father .

I'd prefer to see NuBen settle his "daddy issues" with a Hot Daddy.

Speaking of Ben, WEHT Heather’s kid?

R84 I believe during the time when Linda began her secret plot to fool Stuart, and Shirley was absent from The Vic, I'm pretty sure that's where they said Shirley was: visiting George.

20 years ago this week Tiff died. It still fucking devastates me to be honest. She was Walford's Candle in the Wind!

I think Jean helped Alfie escape.

But Alfie, R81, was the CEO of Blue Moon Funerals. Surely he at least planned a burn and bury for himself. Or perhaps a simple scorch and scatter.

I can't imagine that Jean would help Alfie. She's so fond of Hayley and Cherry, a seems to hate Alfie with a manic 😵 schizophrenic passion.

Was Tiffany Mitchell the involved with Grant Mitchell and Phil Mitchell?

I'm assuming the young child in the video was her and Grant's kid.

r90, Tiff was Grant's wife and the most popular EE character of the late 90s.

EE was at its best in the 90s.

Why are there no hipsters in Walford? Where is the craft beer? Where are the cafes serving £10 bowls of Lucky Charms?

🚼Because, r93, [italic] " They're Magically Delicious! "

Why the fuck did Kat refer to Hayley as “gorgeous” last night? She’s a fuggo. It’s like referring to Stuart as a hunk.

R93, I think the Lucky Charms thing is more Shoreditch, not Walford.

R95 because for unknown reasons the producers are in love with Hayley and think she's the best thing since Mick and sliced bread .

Kat and Haley are family. Do you not understand a moment of kindness? Telling someone they're a gorgeous or beautiful person isn't synonymous with good looks.

[quote] Why are there no hipsters in Walford?

I liked the inclusion of Felix as a market trader last year. .. I wish they would have (could have) developed the character more. .. Recall, it seemed like there were plans to involve him and Joyce in a little business venture where her sewing skills came into play, but they cut her.

Aren't all the Walford hipsters hanging out at the e20 drinking Ice Wine and Pumpkin Ale ?

e20 should look more hipster. Rough hewn floorboards, shiplap, piles of antique trunks used as side tables.

I mean, even Walthamstow is gentrified. The Taylors would barely be able to afford Essex.

It's a shame they introduced the hipster hoards only be booted out after one scene by Grant.

And Shirley.

Did Hayley give Cherry (Cherry Moon! Lord help me) a buzz cut after she snipped off that lock of hair?

Friend of mine in London told me Barbara Windsor now no longer knows who the fuck her husband is. Sad. Alzheimers sucks.

Aw, that's awful. Poor Babs.

When Keanu is finished with Louise, he can help Mel get over Ray. And Kat could probably use a little slap & tickle.

And poor Tina.

And Sonya.

And mommy Kim.

And .....

R98, Kat is kind? Do we watch the same show? It was patently ridiculous for Kat to be “kind” to someone who she’d just found out had given birth to her husband’s baby over a month ago and neglected to tell her.

Kat knows that Mr. Bliue Moon Funerals is a liar and a cheat. And Kat also had a romp in the hay because she was feeling neglected by Alfie the Scam Artist. Kat and Hayley both know they screwed up and Alfie played them both. Blood is thicker than water, and Kat and the Slater clan are, and will, stand with Hayley.

I had a Ross Kemp sex dream last night.

Carry on.

I hope Louise is using protection. Otherwise, she's going to end up on Maury.

What the fuck happened to her mum Lisa? I hope Lisa shows up for Mel’s wedding.

How are Tiffany and Whitney related to the Slaters/Fowlers/whoever currently owns that house?

Tiff and Whit lived in that house with Pat and Bianca, didn’t they? Or is it the Slaters house? I’m confused.

Hayley looks like a corpse. So pale, so thin., such dark circles.

Add in the bad skin, the bad teeth, and the hair that looks like a Halloween wig .. not to mention the irritating voice that sounds like she smokes two packs a day.

R111 Should be easy , if the baby looks a bit tanned it's Keegan's .

The Who's the Daddy? story could be with Sharon, who I'm thinking could be pregnant when she gets back from Australia. (One of those "change of life" things.) .. She was in bed with Keanu when Phil returned from Spain. who immediately proceeded to fuck her with Keanu hiding under the bed. .. And even though Phil gave up his baby with Denise, he might have changed his mind about being a father again while serving as Kim's midwife.

R118, that does seem to be the direction they’re heading.

She will give birth to baby Angie.

Maybe Sharon will be preggers with twins - one from each guy.

Has a British soap ever done a superfecundation storyline? .. lol!

I thought Sharon had trouble conceiving?

I have never watched Coronation Street and want to give it a go. I tried an episode last week and was bored. EE is grittier, though Corrie seems to be far more critically acclaimed and popular so I must be missing something.

The British soaps were better in their heyday, now they are no different from their American counterparts with emphasis on sensation opposed to character.

Women who have trouble conceiving with their husbands never seem to have a problem conceiving with their illicit lovers. Hmmm ..........

R123 I generally feel the same way you do; but I will say I thought Corrie was far better than EE late 2017 into mid 2018. But for the last six months, it's really been dragging along. Transition syndrome during the EP changeover perhaps? I am looking forward to the upcoming storyline involving the gay vicar and the ex-con.

R122 She's also 49 or 50 years old .

But in soap opera land, that can be a prime age for the notorious "change of life" baby.

A couple of years ago, Denise thought it was impossible for her to be pregnant. Isn't she almost 50 now?

And Eileen Probert on Pobol just gave birth. I think she's supposed to be 52 ... lol!

I think Denise was the same age as Kathy when she got pregnant with Ben .

So Walford is apparently getting its first gay bar .

Someone tell me when Corrie gets good again.

R131 I'm hoping the new gay guy getting involved with Vicar Billy brings some life to the show. I believe the character starts New Years Day.

R131, last night’s NYE episode of Corrie was ATROCIOUS. I thought last night’s EE was just OK. I really wanted the duff duff to be Lisa on Mel’s doorstep.

I’m a week behind in Australia, so Kat has just found Cherry’s hair. I guess Corrie is a week behind as well.

I wonder which will win Best Soap at the awards this year. Not EE, that’s for sure.

Discovered EastEnders while on vacation in Ireland. Spent the past year watching as much as possible on you tube. Its been a great distraction from our orange president.

I really want to watch “Live Week” but I can only find one episode online.

Has Adam Woodyatt lost weight?

Sexy little bitch Tiffany ain’t gonna bang goofball Bernadette, so that will end in tears.

R136 I still have working bookmarks for the hour long Thursday February 19 episode, the special *flashback* episode that followed that night, and the actual live broadcast from Friday February 20.

Want any of those?

Wow! .. How fresh and original to make the homely, overweight, socially-awkward girl with low self-esteem lesbian.

btw - I'd really like to see this Kush fellow, whom Denise spoke of, "going to the gym .. coming home and blending his kale thing or whatever .. going to gym .. grilling his chicken .. going back to the gym ... etc."

R139

Yes please, darling!

Okay R141 ...

Here's the hour-long episode from Thursday, February 19.

Here's the flashback episode that followed.

And here's the live episode from Friday, February 20.

Love you, r144 😘

R137, Woodyatr is as big as a house now. I gasped at one point a few weeks ago because he’s now as fat as Charlie Slater was.

R145 I should have also mentioned, that, if you want, you can also READ all of the scripts that were written for the Live Week episodes.

The BBC still has them available as PDF links at their "Writers Room" website.

So they would at least give you the scenes and subtext within the episodes.

Sadly true r124

[quote]So Walford is apparently getting its first gay bar .

And gay bars are closing as a rate of knots. Talk about 25 years too late!

Almost as bad as Ian's Asian Fusion restaurant.

Bump

Ray is going to be a very popular bride in the jailhouse.

R149 and after getting rid of all their gays . Only Tina , Sonia and Bernadette left

[quote] So Walford is apparently getting its first gay bar.

I wonder if it will go into what used to be The Albert?

Very sketchy as to what was going to happen to the bar after Aidan forced Vincent to sign it over and sell it to him for £1.

And then Aidan himself was (thankfully) run out of town.

I assume the place is just sitting there vacant?

It should be a vegan, lesbian cafe, not a gay bar.

The New Years Day wedding episode sure dragged on and on ... and on. And talk about seat-fillers.

“Ray” played the long lost son in PHILOMENA, the AIDS-afflicted Michael Hess.

So Hunter pumped a bullet hole in Ray. Yawn. Mel appeared to be having an orgasm seeing her son holding a gun.

Kat and Alfie-BIG YAWN.

So why are you still watching ?

I don't want to be made to think about Mick Carter's penis, burnt or not.

There was a poster in the last thread longing for Ray to fuck Hunter.

Seems like Hunter fucked Ray.

Everyone on EE should just call the police. The drama would be over.

Shut the fuck up, R158. It’s entirely possible to hang in there with a show you once loved and criticise it when it fucks up. And this show FUCKED UP over the holidays. First Alfie was dead/not dead, then Mel was dead/not deac and then Ray was dead/not dead. Give me a fucking break.

Is the current producer on drugs? Can’t wait for Kate to start in February.

R161 But the police is usually also useless .

I happen to agree, with R164, upon second thought. Thank God the Mitchells are mobsters, otherwise there would be no justice in Walford at all.

I wish Grant would return. Things I would to the bald head of Ross Kemp...

[quote] It should be a vegan, lesbian cafe, not a gay bar.

But as a vegan lesbian cafe, characters wouldn't be able to get drunk and have supposedly meaningless one-offs that they agree to forget about the next day, but then don't.

I hope at least a hot new gay guy runs the gay bar. And he should move into No. 1 as well. There's still a For Sale sign up at Vincent & Kim's old place.

Please, miss .......

On virtually every soap, people constantly die and susequently rise from the dead. It's nothing new.

Take a pill.

I think the point was it had occurred too frequently in a short period, R168. Shows a lack of creativity on the part of the writers. I guess we'll be seeing that guy Stuart killed soon. Dr Legg will pop out of the casket once he's gone too!

Dr. Legg will reincarnated into Dave the Cat.

Did Mick burn his penis in a grease fire?

R168, you’re an idiot. British soaps are not like US ones.

R170 Mick got splashed with hot oil when he threw Halfwit's prawns in the fryer. He was only wearing his short pink robe at the time, and he had it open, so it was a direct hit on his "little soldier." (Video)

Hunter can’t have killed himself. He has the sensation of Kush’s thick half-Iranian cock up his hungry hole!

To look forward to, I mean.

Is Stuart preparing to harm Dr Legg? There are too many sociopaths on EE now, Stuart, Ray (assumed deceased) and arguably Alfie Moon. Again a lack of creativity. The characters have no depth.

Will Mick be wearing a caftan until his little soldier heals?

Their father just gets released from prison, and none of the Carter kids even call home for Christmas or New Years?

Not even Sausage?

The Second Sausage was so dull.

Mick got rid of two of his kids , why would Lee for example call him ?

In their final scene, Mick ran after the departing Lee as he exited the Vic yelling out to to him, "Son!" .. And when Lee expressed doubt that he was doing the right thing, Mick's final words to him were, "Go and find your place, and go and find your people, 'cuz this place, these people will always be here for you, if you need us."

And the Carters have skyped with Nancy and Tamwar before. (Didn't Mas just go meet the duo somewhere not that long ago and report back on them when he returned?) .. And Johnny's supposedly up the M40 in Birmingham .. not that far. .. They could have at least said he was going on Christmas holiday with his new hot barrister boyfriend.

boo hiss. I guess we can stop our Kunter fantasies.

Apparently, Charlie Winter (Hunter) has gotten the axe.

Okay, maybe Kush can fuck him before he exits.

Give him something to think about while he's gone.

Will Hunter "go to Spain" so he can be called back at some point?

Perhaps the Carter children sent lovely Christmas cards mummy and daddy.

Hunter was s fucking psycho. It was only a matter of time before he killed someone.

The actor was so bad and so old looking for a 16-year-old.

And looked like a poster child for Hitler Youth. Too extreme looking. They should have gotten a blonde kid who at least looked likeable but knew how to conceal his cuntiness.

I was hoping to see Brian May’s wife sitting with him at the Golden Globes.

Real-life Hunter (Charley Winter) is listed as 22 or 23. No one seems to know for certain. So that means he's probably around 27.

R187, Brian May’s wife Anita Dobson is currently in rehearsals to play Miss Hannigan in Annie in Manchester. So, you know, priorities.

R188 Maybe it's because he's 22 right now and turns 23 next week. (b. 19 January 1996).

Jesus Christ, tonight’s episode was fucking dire.

Has our beautiful Sharon returned yet?

Nope, R192.

Was Mel's wedding and Ray's murder by little Hunter just a bad dream that the writers have suddenly forgotten about?

It happened but for unknown reasons the show has decided that we don't need to know what happened to Hunter and that Tiff ,Bernie and Evie's drug gang story is sooo much more interesting .

R194 I assumed Mel and Hunter were getting out of Dodge .. at least for awhile .. which Mel said would allow them "to work on their story ... make it watertight."

In their final scene, Mel told Hunter, "I've got passports, money, a place to go." .. She then rushed out of the room saying, "I'll just lock up."

If were lucky, Evie's little Rat-Boy Fagan will push her onto the tracks in front of a speeding subway train.

Does Sharon get the e20 by default? She can hire Keanu as a topless waiter.

It sounded to me like Ray getting Phil to sign over e20 to Mel for £600,000 - albeit forced - was a legit transaction on paper.

If Oates is smart, Keanu will be a go-go boy at the new gay bar.

Are the Taylors supposed to be the Po’ Trash of Albert Square.

How did he manage to force Phil to sell? Yes The Taylors were brought in as very poor, on benefits and scoundrels who annoyed their neighbours. But of course the writers have to clean them up a bit if they want the audience to like them.

Might as well sign on Kush and Keegan as dancers.

Chippendale's ...... That sounds very, very English.

R201 From the article at Digitial Spy on the scene between Ray and Phil:

[quote] Meanwhile, Ray was up to no good by confronting Phil Mitchell (Steve McFadden) with an offer to buy E20 outright for Mel. Phil scoffed at the idea, but was later forced onto the back foot when Ray revealed this his sister's ex-boyfriend is gangster Aidan Maguire. Unfortunately for Phil, Aidan had filled Ray in on the disappearances of both Luke Browning and Vincent Hubbard, so Ray forced Phil to sign over ownership of the club to Mel for £600,000.

This happened not long before the Mel-Ray wedding, and as I recall Ray told Mel about what he'd done for her during their pre-wedding fight.

Tiffany looks like she gaining lbs.

Her ass and thighs look huge in those plaid leggings.

It’s sympathy weight re Bernadette. Or maybe it’s intentional so she looks like more of a viable love interest for her. Or maybe she just needs to ease up on the sausage rolls at the Elstree canteen.

^^^ Marijuana Munchies

Maisie Smith (Tiffany) is a pothead, R206?

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote]She's pretty short, so with her height, that look just accentuates any weight gain in the ass.

The bigger the better

Yep, more cushion for the pushin’.

It’s nice to see Cunter did hit the gym for a bit before his untimely dismissal.

That gold puffer jacket that Tiffany is so fond of helps to balance out her weight so that she looks top-heavy and big bottomed.

I hope Phil gets his hands on Evie and teaches her a lesson about fucking around with Dennis. Will Evie try to get Tiffany to take the seduction of Dennis to the next level?

We're so far behind in the American PBS broadcasts of EE . A dumpy, frizzy dark-haired, dark-eyed version of the formerly blond, lanky, blue-eyed Steven Beale/Wicks has just returned to the square.

Where is the black hole of outer London where Carol lives? She went there years ago to hide from the bullying of petty thugs, and has never been able to come back yet, even for big events like her teen daughter Sonia suddenly plopping out a baby, or Sonia's fiance Jamie's death, or Sonia's wedding to Martin, etc etc. People come and go from Spain more easily.

It was established two years later from episodes being shown here in the US that Carol had been living in Balham, a decent area of South London. Hardly a slum.

And it was somewhat firmly established that Carol was so stubborn and had such a huge chip on her shoulder from the Bianca mess that she made the huge mistake of isolating herself from her family.

So Mick is going to be sectioned while Danny Dyer takes a break? And fuggo Stuart just goes on and on and on? Jesus.

Where's Ruby?

Did she opt out of #MeToo in favor of #NoThanks, and then head off to Spain?

Storyline pacing seems to be rather uneven, imbalanced during this EP transition.

Rob Kazinsky will be returning as Sean Slater for a “short stint” in the spring. Please God he takes that little brat Amy out of Walford with him when he goes.

Where oh where are the gay men in Walford?

Simon and Tony went off to backpack around Europe 20 years ago. I'm sure they'll be back soon.

Watching The Arches mechanics, Cole and Lance, partake in the holiday choir scene then go home to spend their first Christmas together in their new flat was both sweet and sexy.

They're no Gary and Minty.

Does anyone know any sites that have written daily recaps of Eastenders other than the wikia (which isn't updated). It's weird - there are like none out there that I can find (American soaps have a lot of them).

R221 Maybe they have added Ben to their traveling adventures given that Ben is Tony's cousin . And isn't Simon Courtney's uncle ?

Yes, he is, R225. But Courtney’s not on EE although she should be.

RIP Dr. Legg.

I hope Dot pushes Stuart Down the stairs.

Or Dave the Cat magically appears, bites him in the ankle, and he dies a slow and painful death from rabies.

I then want vultures to descend to peck away at his massively fuggo head.

Is Haley being written out?

Stuart painted the swastika on the door, didn't he? Total psychotic bastard.

R231 I don't know. They showed the three boys running away from the front door, and one of them had a can of spray paint in his hand.

And when Stuart turned around and saw the door, his "Oh no," seemed genuine.

Of course, maybe the boys started to paint the swastika, ran off, and Stuart decided to complete it.

Or maybe he paid them off and removed the swastika to “rehabilitate” his cred in the area?

A few weeks behind here.

LOL at Karen asking Bernie if she wanted to be called "they".

She was referring to her size, R234.

Max Bowden , formerly of Waterloo Road, is the new Ben Mitchell. He starts filming tomorrow. Sorry, can’t be arsed to provide a link.

Here's one article on it.

I'm not sad that they've opted to recast.

Will Ben own the gay bar then?

Looks too old . Ben's only 22 turning 23 in March . And I fear we'll just get another new characterization out of this.

Bowden just turned 24 three weeks ago. I just hope he's a better (more subtle) actor than Reid.

ok , that's better . He just looks older on the linked picture I guess .

I look forward to Charlie Wernham playing Ben #7 in a few years.

Here's a few clips.

He’ll make a decent Ben. But they’re bringing him back as a unit with Lola and their kid? Uggh.

No, exploring Ben, Lola and Lexi is something I have waited for . As long as they don't suddenly declare him bisexual .

I haven't missed an episode have I? Where is Mel? Last I saw was her hearing the gunshot in the kitchen. That was New Year's. What happened to her and the son?

They finally reappear next week. Which is really stupid.

[quote] Last I saw was her hearing the gunshot in the kitchen.

Gunshot? I thought we just saw that Hunter had lied and that he still had the gun. Meanwhile, out in the kitchen, Mel had some kind of panic attack and broke a glass. I don't remember hearing any kind of gunshot.

It made sense that they disappeared for awhile, because Mel said the two if them would leave town to lie low somewhere while they worked on their story. She'd gotten out passports and money.

There was a discussion about that last scene , there was a sound at the end and some heard a gunshot (which was apparently confirmed by the subtitles that mentioned a gunshot ) but people weren't sure if that was a real shot or just Mel's imagination ... and they haven't been on since then . Oddly no Albert Square inmate ever mentioned the wedding or questioned what happened to Ray .

R249 Okay, thanks for that tidbit. .. I just went back and watched the scene on iPlayer, and you're right. At the same time, Mel's glass breaks on the floor, and we get that sound, the subtitles also say "#Gunshot. " .. Apparently the two noises are supposed to be simultaneous.

But the odd thing is, I also listened to the Audio Description (AD) version of the episode. The narrator describes what Hunter is doing with the pistol, then describes how Mel breaks the glass in the kitchen. But he says absolutely nothing about a gun going off. .. So I guess whoever wrote the narrator's script missed that part as well .. lol!

Anyhoo...Hunter will only be on a few weeks before he’s outta there. Charlie Winter shot his last scene just before Christmas which means Hunter’s last airdate will be around Valentine’s Day.

Hunter was a nasty little bitch just like his daddy.

How the fuck did Danny Dyer just win an award? It can only be because of his Brexit rant. I actually like him as an actor but Mick did very little except stare sadly into the middle distance last year.

So no mention of Mel and Hunter disappearing right after the wedding and it is nearly February. So many storylines just disappear! Meanwhile we get nearly an entire episode of a kids' football team and a drone?

Mel and Hunter appear to be back from wherever those passports took them by this coming Monday's episode (Jan. 28). The BBC website has a blurb and features this photo.

[quote] Mel does her best to put on a brave face.

Also, Sharon's back by at least Tuesday the 29th when:

[quote] Sharon confronts Keanu about his relationship with Louise.

I bet the extreme delay between stories (I.e Mel gone for weeks) has to do with block shooting to save money

The weird storyline pacing at the moment could also have to do with the executive producer changeover that's taking place.

Good point, R258 . Looking forward to better pacing of storylines.

R253 It was the NTA Award for Serial Drama Performance, which is voted by the general public. Maybe his female fan base who want to be stuffed by him stuffed the ballot box. Anyway. he's won the same award in 2015 and 2016.

🤔 Does Phil perhaps already know about Sharon and Keanu, and he's deliberately setting Keanu up with Louise to get back at his cheating wifey?

Why is Shirley in major bitch mode again?

Does Martin know that Fuggo is living under the same roof as his daughter, Bex?

Have we seen the last of stinky HALEY! ? (Capitalized, because everyone seems to scream her name.)

If so, it was rather odd that, with the interminably long goodbye, her main supporter, Jean, was totally absent.

Is Ted ever coming back from Australia to reclaim his flat? And no, I really don't care about him. Same with Robbie in India.

Oh, and I read Masood has gotten the chop and is OUT again.

Masood is picking up where he left off with Kathy.

You have NOT seen the last.of Haley.

Shirley was born in major bitch mode, and it's never going to change.

I hope Hayley returns, is a full on bitch and ends up murdered and tossed onto a skip.

Looks like they washed Sharon's face, ripped off the weave, and gave her a few Coolsculpt or SonoBello treatments.

Can someone explain the Keegan/Louise/Keanu dynamic? Was she dating Keegan than dumped him for his brother Keanu?

Any recent pics of Sharon? Did she lose any weight over her Christmas break?

R267 It was hard to tell. She looks about the same to me, and they're still dressing her in black-dark clothes with coats and cover-up type blouses.

Also, I guess she's not pregnant (?), since she ordered white wines for her and Denise at the party.

R268, them limey chicks don’t give a fuck about drinking while pregnant. Look at Hayley.

Who is Ted related to?

Nobody on the Square. There was a daughter who visited for a few episodes but she was a cunt.

There's also an (unseen) son named "Alan" (in Australia). I believe that's where Ted went. As I recall, he found the airline tickets that his dead wife, Joyce, left behind as a "surprise." .. As in surprise! We don't have any storyline for you.

Oh, and "Dave the Cat," aka "Lucky." .. Where the hell is Dave the Cat?

Isn’t Dot looking after Dave?

I would assume, but I don't think we've seen Dave.

Smart cat, probably took off after Stuart moved in.

See Danny Dyer's hairy chest and pale soft belly here.

😻 Dave is shacking up with Miss Kitty.

The girl who plays Louise is a terrible actress. They should get rid of her when her story concludes.

Agreed, she brings nothing to it.

Sharon is still fat.

Yeah, they’re trying to cover up her fat with layers of outerwear but it ain’t working. Why hasn’t the lazy sow gotten a personal trainer?

[quote] We're so far behind in the American PBS broadcasts of EE . A dumpy, frizzy dark-haired, dark-eyed version of the formerly blond, lanky, blue-eyed Steven Beale/Wicks has just returned to the square.

R213 you’re still in 2008 then, love.

The good news is that your version of Steven Beale is gay and gets some action, albeit from his Uncle and awkwardly. The 2010’s version of Steven is very different, but I’m sure you’ve gleaned as much by now (if not please visit EE DL threads 3-6).

Back in 2008 you’ve still got Stacey & Bradley OTP; fun footloose floozy Roxy tending bar; fresh-off-the-bus Whit & Tiff when they’re still a novelty; plus the arrival of the indominitable Christian Clarke. Iirc Jack Branning is a relatively new arrival in this period and has a decent arc with Max.

It’s a fairly enjoyable year coming up for you, though tbh there’s a lot of filler and mostly irrelevant characters who either leave within a couple of years or whose backstories radically change later on - so don’t get too invested (but being a fan you have to know that by now). The LGB stuff isn’t too bad in the late-‘00s and actually gets worse later on, so enjoy the gay EE content while ye may dear time-traveller.

R281, Steven arrived in the fall of 2017.

Oops, I meant 2007.

Oh how exciting, R281. We haven't seen these new people yet, other than Roxie, who IS lively, especially next to musty old granny Phiww.

Ian is still missing. Steven has tried to kiss Jane, which lead to even more bulging eyes and sighing on her part.

They've finally jailed Dean Wicks and the awful actress who plays Denise's older daughter for trying to frame Sean Slater in old Patrick's head-thump. Sean Slater does nothing but stand around and grin madly, which seems a waste.

I was hoping Max Brannon, who looks like a freshly birthed hamster, would somehow disappear forever, to join Carol in her inescapable part of London, or maybe Spain.

My mother is in hospital and I streamed some episodes into her iPad. When the ending theme rang out I could hear the nurses laughing at us.

I know those hos watch Home & Away and have nothing to feel superior about.

Some of them were laughing because it's a guilty pleasure to watch EE for so many. The others were laughing because they're psychos.

R284 I forgot how much I hated the Wicks clan, besides the lovely Kevin who was too good for this world and deserved better. CHELSSSSAYY was well-annoying, wasn’t she? So was Libby, but at least she stood out and had a reason to hang about.

Sean Slater was hot, but so fucked up. I’m glad Stacey got shot of him in the end.

Sean’s returning to the show for “a brief period” this spring. It will be interesting to see him with Kat, who never shared a scene with him. Maybe he’ll bang her. Oh wait, they’re related.

Well, we’ve not had an incest s/l in 7 years. Worked for Hollyoaks and kills the time, eh?

Who was the girl last year who turned up last year putting a fake skiing holiday on Instagram, and whose family did she belong to?

That was Karen Taylor's sister, Candy.

She's the one with the buck$.

Ah. I though she was her daughter.

Candy was so fucking boring. So cliche and vanilla. I bet Kate Oates and Jon Senn won’t bring her back.

Yeah, Oates & Co. are casting Karen and Mitch's daughter, Chantelle Baker, so they'll probably be concentrating on incorporating her character into the mix.

News on why Ben is coming back -- to help Phil out of a mess he's got with his dodgy dealings in Spain.

Also, on the romance front, Oates adds:

[quote] We’re likely to see a bit more conflict between father and son and a much more confident Ben. He's a pivotal character and we have some great material coming up. What we also bring back is a Ben who is a lot more confident and comfortable with his sexuality. Ben is a complex character with many connections to explore but yes, we might be seeing some romance before long.

NuBen looks like a slightly better looking version of the guy who played Lee Carter.

So has Kate Oates started yet?

EE is a lot more watchable than it was this time last year, when they tried to make it into a sitcom and were always playing for laughs.

Someone please take Keanu's jeggings and burn them.

Jeggings?! Did he borrow them from Karen?

Kate Oates’ material starts airing later this month.

How big is Keanu's willy?

Are Nancy and Tamwar supposed to be returning to Albert Square? I suppose that Mel and Hunter are leaving?

Please no more boring characters!

The actress who played Nancy has a regular role on Casualty, so I doubt she's coming back... unless Eastenders are gong to use anther actress.

David Witts should return

Would someone please tell me the back story of Chantelle (Karen/Mitch's daughter?. I only started re-watching EE a year ago thanks to Britbox.com. Previously, I was several years behind.

R307 I don't think there's any real backstory to tell. .. While Chantelle has been mentioned a few times since 2017 (when Karen and her brood first showed up), Chantelle herself has never been seen. .. Honestly, I didn't even know she was supposed to be a "Baker" belonging to Mitch, as news articles now seem to be indicating. .. And you can still find Wiki references to the character as "Chantelle Taylor" (with no description). .. It was previously made out to sound that Chantelle was was Karen's oldest child; so if she's a Baker, then that would mean Karen was with Mitch, got involved with Keanu's father, Shane, then got re-involved with Mitch to have Keegan.

Karen was stabbed by Keanu’s father Shane. I guess Shane will show up eventually.

Has fat water buffalo Kim left the show?

Phil has sent hottie Keanu to Spain for a while to do some dirty business for him. I think Sharon might have had a face lift. She looks more youthful.

No, R310, they just let the actress have somr time off to do a panto in Hackney.

Who is Bernadette's father?

Don’t think we’ve been filled in on that, R313. And who are those twins’ father?

R313 R314 - Yeah, I don't think they've relayed any info on Bernadette's father. .. And when it comes to the twins, their father has been mentioned, but I don't think any name has ever been given. The dad appears to be involved in the boys' lives, and it's been mentioned that he provides some money for them. And a few times, when the twins seem to disappear, it's been said that he's the one they're staying with. It kind of raises the question that, if the dad acknowledges them as his sons, then why is their surname "Taylor."

Laziness on the writers’ part, R315. It doesn’t make sense. Like, why did Michelle’s son Mark not have his adopted dad Tim’s last name?

That's assuming that Karen knows who Bernie's dad is .

Has Sharon had wok done?

Yeah, probably, but maybe it’s just the botox.

Michelle's spazzy son also had an English accent from some 'British' school she sent him to. Wouldn't have happened.

We're too far behind in the US PBS showings to have met Michelle's son yet. We do remember when her daughter came back to play happy families with Den, and how much her accent meandered. Of course, no one came over for Pauline's funeral.

R320, that was the most stupid thing I’ve EVER seen on a soap ANYWHERE. They tried to explain it away bg saying he’d gone to a “British school.” In FLORIDA?

R321, yeah. Vicki showed up with a weird mid-Atlantic accent (not unlike Kelly Osbourne’s), went away and came back with a full-on British accent with no explanation whatsoever. Horrible. I felt bad for the actress because she was actually pretty good. She was stuck with an awful love interest, though, the unattractive Spencer.

Was Karen Taylor ever legally married to any of the baby daddies.

Those twins are a double barrel nightmare. I'm thinking that Stuart might be their father.

Michelle having a romance with that 17 year old boy was also completely unrealistic, considering she was fugtastic.

Kathy has had another very tight facelift and is romancing Masood. Ian doesn't seem to mind this time around.

R324, 'Stuart might be their father' - hilarious. They are both fugtards so it could be true. One of them has suddenly shot up into a lumbering 6 foot tall man overnight.

R322 And the really stupid thing about Mark Junior's accent is that, even if EE just had to have Ned Porteous in the role, according to his CV, he's capable of doing three American accents (Standard, Californian, and New York)... lol!

According to his Instagram account Ned Porteous has been in LA for at least three months. I wonder if he’ll end up on a US series by the end of the year.

R328 Now's the time. Pilot season is on when networks are looking to cast new, prospective TV series, so he's probably out there looking-hoping to participate.

The Square badly needs some eye candy, both male and female. I don't count tiny neurotic Ruby as eye candy and everyone else is too raddled (Stacey and Mel), too young (Louise) or too old (Denise, Sharon, Linda). There is NO male eye candy except brief glimpses of Kush.

Will NuBen provide a little sweetness?

What about NuBobby Beale?

I want to look at someone who makes me want to skip dinner and go straight to dessert !

Stacey's chins often look worse than Kat's now.

God knows Hayley is no oil painting.

Hell, I’d love Michael French back as David. He still looks great and he can act. And I really miss the character. Compared to him the likes of Alfie are a joke.

💀 Where is Stuart?

I can't imagine that he would just leave town quietly ............

The actor playing Stuart is extremely nice on twitter.

I hope he leaves EE immediately and finds work better suited to his pleasant personality.

wonder when Johnny Carter will return?

R334 With the Dr. Legg arc getting play later this week and into next, I imagine Stuart will be hovering around somewhere. Isn't he sleeping in Patrick's shed out at the allotment?

In any event, Ricky Champ's interview with Express last week (Feb. 7) makes it sound like Stuart will be around for quite a bit more.

[quote] What’s more, Ricky insisted he doesn’t think there will be an end point to his character, hinting at a long future in Walford. “Yeah I’d like for people to see a lot more different sides to him,” the actor considered. “Not just be a two-dimensional villain."

I think they will have a -4c night as sometimes occurs in London, and Stuart will be found dead of hypothermia in Ted's shed.

Why is Ian estranged from his son Peter? I would love to hear a little of the backstory. Funny how Ian just up and takes off for New Zealand like he's going off to a B&B for the weekend. Is he really that wealthy?

R339, Peter lashed out at Ian for covering up for Bobby in Lucy’s murder. That’s why he moved to New Zealand.

[quote] Why is Ian estranged from his son Peter?

Since Peter exited, though, there's been a thaw in the estrangement. .. Ian has previously traveled to New Zealand to visit Peter (and Simon) and returned implying things are basically "okay" between them now. .. Of course, that last off-screen visit wasn't built around the scenario that Ian would be allowing killer Bobby back among the family. .. We also heard Cora mention that Lauren and Louie are back in New Zealand implying that she and the boy have are reunited with Peter.

How did Jack manage to corroborate Mel's fake alibi? I don't remember her ever telling him about the night of Ray's murder.

R342 While they didn't say this, I got the idea that Mel may have somehow found a way to text Jack after DS Barnes left the interrogation room to follow-up on Jack being her alibi.

Perhaps, Mel was able to send Jack something sparse like "need alibi" with a few bullet points ??

Anyway, when DC Hazari was interviewing Jack, he kept looking at his cell phone on the kitchen counter, as if he was nervous about what it might show. In fact, it looked like he may have being going into the kitchen to get it (pocket it), but then he realized the two detectives were following him, so he didn't want to draw attention to handling it and just left it there.

That's all I've got.

R336 careful sunshine; mutts round here get a bit wound up when you mention him...

God, why did they bring Mitch back? He’s so fucking boring.

They needed a sidekick to play opposite Mick in 'The Danny Dyer Comedy Show.'

Mick and dry roasted Denise are going to have a romance and he's much more suitable for her than young hot Kush was.

R347, do you mean Mick or Mitch?

Mick ain’t going to have revenge sex with football mum, is he?

Probably Mitch. He can't seem to keep it in his pants.

The actor who plays Mitch bores the shit out of me. He was fine on the show as a detective a number of years ago but Mahershala Ali he ain’t.

I mean MITCH sorry

Denise is 50 but she's never without a man for long and Mitch seems thirsty. The actress who plays Kathy Beale has had some good work done on her neck and face and the new romance between her and the much younger Masood almost seems credible.

Ian has gone off to New Zealand and is obviously going to return with Peter, then Lauren might also return to the square with his child. Jac Jossa needs to lose weight as Lauren is supposed to be a glamorous character not a lardass.

I'm pretty neutral on the Masood character and whether he's out, but this exit storyline and his reasons for leaving (for good), make absolutely no sense.

He tells Tam that he's "got nothing going in Walford," yet he's partner in a successful restaurant operation, just began a love affair that he's obviously enjoying, has relatives on the square, a daughter and granddaughter over in Barnet, and a son, another granddaughter, and a brother right up in Birmingham. .. What the hell is he going to be doing getting between two twenty-somethings newlyweds down in Australia? .. If he thinks he can still make a difference in any of his children's lives, wouldn't it be young Kamil?

Very good points, R353.

Jossa isn't a teenager anymore.

She's a married woman with two kids. People gain weight, and don't always lose it. And since when was she a glamorous character ....... A teenage alcoholic, a young, unwed mother living with her would be inlaws, a baby by Peter, yet living with lazy Steven, and unwanted baby, an abortion, and getting involved with Josh while still living at the Beale house.

Can't get much more glamorous than that - she's perfect for a return to Walford.

...Why would Masood be written out when Kate Oates wants to diversify Albert Square?!

Poor Evie, she's not exactly the young hot-shot entrepreneur that she makes herself out to be. She's actually a lousy business team leader.

I want Evie to just GO AWAY.

I think Evie will be revealed to be much older than we think she is, like 33 or something.

Thinking about Yorke's year-plus, I haven't enjoyed any of his villainous creations. Aidan, Stuart, Ray, Evie.

Maybe Evie’s undercover like in 21 Jump Street?

OMFG Mary The Punk looks good!

And we finally got to see grown-up Annie!

Lofty and Mary are the same age. He looks like an elderly man and she looks like a well preserved 40 something. Kathy with her recent face lift looks ten years younger than Lofty too.

This scene is classic.

And all things considered, Lofty today looks exactly how I’d expect him to.

All dressed up for the funeral,Stuart looked almost human.

Still fuggo, though.

The white trainers looked stupid.

The actress who plays Kathy may be a 'legend,' but she sure doesn't know how to play drunk very believably.

Ruby certainly isn't the brightest bulb on the tree. She really needs to stop drinking.

So much for #MeToo

The actress who plays Ruby seems incapable of ever closing her mouth.

I'm finding Ruby's story to be rather an aimless hodge-podge. It's also made me realize that I really don't care much about Jay. He was okay as mate of Ben's but now on his own, not so much.

I think she’ll turn out to be a piece of shit just like her dear old dad. This storyline is risky but it could be good.

Who is Ruby’s dad?

Johnny Allen-he was a crook and, I think, a murderer. Well, he certainly ordered Dennis’ stabbing.

Mitch and Denise are a terrible couple. They have no chemistry and she broke up with Kush because he might want kids. Here comes Mitch with his precocious daughter looking for a mother figure...

R372 Yes , the actor is decent enough but the character can't shoulder a major story on his own . He works better as a supporting character .

Ugh, Ruby came back? Is the same dreary actress still playing her?

I hope Denise is not the same Denise who was with Kevin Wicks. She's already a grim, dried-up husk of a woman, here in way-back land.

Kathy is dead, in our time frame. Is she Undead?

Yes, the same actresses. And Kathy never really died. You must be in one of those periods before Peggy leaves?

Since when did Mitch and Denise become a couple………did I miss something when I got up to use the bathroom?

Lovely send-off for June Brown last night. I loved it that she ended up becoming a millionairess via Dr. Legg. I don’t think she’ll ever be back from Ireland now. It was not insignificant there was a photo of Ethel in one of the shots. I loved it that her final show was sitting alone at the kitchen table, smoking a fag, looking content. Little Dot...happy at last.

Final shot, I mean.

Oh phew, so she’s not off off the show

Why would he leave all his money to Dot? Surely a nice sum for her final years would have been sufficient? Wouldn't Dr Legg want to spread his wealth around and help various good causes? Such shite

R383, I think she is off the show. I doubt June Brown wanted a big storyline of Dot going away. This was a perfectly low key way of doing it. Whenever June Brown dies we’ll then get Dot dying off screen, hopefully surrounded by Charlie (and his son), Dottie, Nigel and Sonia.

No mention of Dave the Cat, though. And the corner of the kitchen where Dot used to have his bed and food, etc. now has a wire stand for fruit and veg there

And how eye-rolling to see Sonia and Bex just drinking-laughing the night away with Stuart in the pub. blech. Will Tina have something to say about this at some point?

Really not impressed with Oates' decision to keep Stuart around for more or to build story around Mitch.

I am, however, laughing about the idea of Denise with Mitch. What a colossal downgrade from Kush.

Mitch is boring beyond belief with zero sex appeal. I like Bailey, though.

So I guess they'll have to write Stacey out, since Turner is pregnant.

Of course, my choice prompting the character's exit would be to have Stacey walk in on Martin and Kush in bed.

Lacey won't be written out for long. She'll be back after her maternity leave.

I think Stacey will go off somewhere with Jean for her cancer treatment.

When Dot passes away, she will leave her newly acquired fortune to Dave 😸 !

I love it that Dot was made a millionairess and Nick (who would have poisoned her all over again) is long dead and buried.

So where is Keanu?

🐟 [italic] Sleeping With The Fishes ?

Paella ingredient ?

I don’t miss Keanu at all.

R393 Last week, Karen told Mitch that she learned that Keanu was out of hospital and in some fancy hotel with Phil.

Paul Usher is coming on for a few episodes, something to do with Phil. He was really hot as Barry Grant on the now defunct Liverpool soap Brookside

That's good news, I like Paul Usher.

The new Asian girls are being annoying but Kush is definitely smitten with the older one.

They’re both attractive in different ways but I don’t see either of them being long term characters.

Phil Mitchell is a Ghetto Godfather.

I'm so keen to see the opening of the gay bar. I hope they've got someone hot as the manager.

Or someone binary.

Tiff will be gone for how long, then?

Fast forwarding through pretty much everything on this show. Stuart and Mitch are destroying it for me

Apparently, Kush had morning wood when Mo woke him from his dream, because he cups his cock with his hand as if to obscure it.

What a stud.

Kush looks amazing, I forget how good is body is. He is definitely falling for that young Asian girl, the one who isn't Habiba.

There was some definite telegraphing that Bex might be eyeing up Kush. And she's got form for liking an older guy (the music teacher).

Kush is a beautiful man. I hope Kate Oates makes good use of the hours he has spent in the gym.

Gray is cute. I think Gray will end up with Whitney. Get ready for Gritney!

Gary and Chantelle are both good looking. Phew. The market needs some fresh meat.

The new producer Kate Oates only casts good lookers. That's why she ditched old Ben.

Why won’t she ditch major fuggo Stuart, then?

R411 Who I found way better looking than the new one . This Ben looks like a discount Lee Carter .

I think Bowden is somewhat better looking than Reid, but neither one of them measure up to my idea of what constitutes a "good looker" for a young actor on a TV soap opera. Try someone like Adam Woodward (Brody) or Kyle Pryor (Laurie) on Hollyoaks.

Are they dropping Ben's signature eyeglasses? Bowden doesn't seem to be wearing them in any of the location photos. And what about the hearing aid? I can't tell if he has it in his left ear, or not. I know it was pretty small when Reid was in the role.

I wonder if he'll still have the "Paul" tattoo on his ring finger.

I don't know who the platinum blonde chick is, but she looks better than anyone else in Walford in those tight leggings.

It’s the girl who plays Lola, R417. She bores me senseless.

I like her , she's the mother of Ben's daughter .

I have a Torti cat named Lola, and she's quite the Drama Queen.

Does anyone have any pictures of the guy that plays Adam the Dentist's feet or Martin's feet?

Oooo, I’d love to see Adam’s feets.

The Kourtney Kardashian sister - Iqra? - is really annoying.

Ha ha, she is like Kourtney Kardashian for sure! Kush has fallen for her, though, and she is a better match for him than dry roasted Denise or that mad one he had a still born child with.

Looks like Raine is about to embark on an affair with fugtastic Stuart.

Habiba is the Kardasshian one, isn’t she? Iqra is the more sensible sister with the big eyes.

Bex wants to sample the goods.

Ewwww...Bex and Kush.

The show is, at the very least, 20 years late, but it was always an excellent soap.

What is the legal drinking age in Walford?

Seems like the teens spend a lot of time in the Vic.

R430, it's 18 but they can drink soft drinks in pubs at any age if accompanied by an adult.

So Keanu is staying in Spain for awhile? .. Perhaps Ben has been introducing him to gay Barcelona.

Let's hope New Ben gets some decent gay action now he's looking hotter and has ditched the spazzy glasses and got an invisible hearing aid.

New Ben looks boring.

I guess Phil didn't kill Keanu in Spain. I guess he didn't. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.)

Is it true that Billy Mitchell is bisexual?

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

R434 New Ben doesn't look like Ben . And I don't mean the glasses or hearing aid . This guy just isn't Ben , he's too polished in a way .

He looks like an assembly line actor, not distinctive looking at all and not even a beauty, just okay.

I think they should eventually kill Ben off this year and at the funeral service have a pic of the previous Ben and the love of his life Paul on display.

R437 ...... Keanu is getting the Mafioso "Kiss of Death"

Kate Oates likes them pretty, doesn’t she? She’s made Halfway ditch the beanie. There is potential there.

I think we saw some Halfwit "potential" in the Children in Need video they released last November.

I remember actually stopping the video and rewinding it, not sure who he was at first. His hair was styled differently, and he had some scruff.

Iqra is the one who specifically resembles Kourtney Kardashian (KK is pictured below). She’s the one who flies off the handle, fired Ruby 3 times in 2 episodes, and who Kush likes.

Habiba is the more angular sister who was comforting Bernie when she was stood up by her Tindr date.

Habiba’s the slutty looking one, Iqra’s the sensible looking one. Sorted.

Slutty looking Habiba is more entrepreneurial and even tempered; doe-eyed Iqra is bratty and changeable.

That’s subversion of expectations!

Spring Trailer

I’m glad slutty looking Habiba is giving the eye to the snobby dentist, who is way too handsome for simpering Honey.

I thought the handsome dentist Adam is their cousin.

I think "Adam Bateman" is supposed to be Iqra and Habiba's "foster uncle" .. if such a thing exists .. lol! .. as he is one of the foster sons raised by the girls' grandparents, Arshad and Mariam.

I want to see Adam’s feets.

At DL, we know all about [italic] Foster Uncles !

Has Sharon lost any weight? Is she still clad solely in black? I'm sure they had her in a blue top a few months ago.

Still a fat cow. They should threaten her to either hire a personal trainer or Sharon goes off to Australia permanently.

Apparently, Keanu is a chubby chaser.

Sharon is very pretty, a couple of stone off, a flattering wardrobe with brighter colors and a decent hairdo and she'd be sizzling again, even at 50. This was just 6 years ago.

All Keanu's girlfriends were skinny before Sharon. I think the actress might have had a face lift or some description though.

What is with your obsession with hiring a personal trainer for Sharon, r453?

Time to start living in the real world. And please, do post a pic of your bad ass self.

Letitia doesn't need a personal trainer, just re-watch her old fitness DVD! Wonder if it still sells?

Didn't Sharon try to tell Louise that Keanu was her personal trainer last year? .. lol!

Sharon looks like a pig. There is no excuse for that since she is a leading lady character.

Sharon looks like a hog and the affair between her and Keanu was ridiculously unrealistic, as was her agreeing to have sex with Phil on the bed while Keanu was underneath it.

Childrun, pleeze ........ No more sighber boolies.

Yoo must Bee 🐝 Best !

The high schoolers Bex and Louise hanging out at the e20 ?

Guess Martin wasn't all that mortified to lay down the law with Bex, I don't care if she's considered legal age or not. They're still school girls, morphing into Walford sluts.

Anyone have any gossip on the cast?

R463 Bex is over 18 . Louise however is not .

Although she looks 24.

Speaking of e20, they never mention that Kush is supposed to be working as a bouncer there.

I want a storyline where Kush is down on his luck and becomes gay for pay.

So I’m guessing Watford East will be the gay bar?

I wonder if Kim's gay "cousin" from Scotland, "Colm," could eventually arrive to be new gay club manager.

btw - It sounds like Ben arrives April 1.

[quote] I want a storyline where Kush is down on his luck and becomes gay for pay.

And the only one with enough cash to afford Kush is Chantelle's bisexual husband, Gray, the successful solicitor.

Tiffany reappeared after a two week absence, looking as if she'd been living on the streets for years with dirt all over her and red bruises under her eyes. Even Evie looked spazzed out.

Tiffany is no Diane Butcher.

Tiffany looks like she doesn't 10-20 pounds. She also looks like an addict.

Sharon's had a face lift, and not a very good one.

Keanu looks very angry and very hot.

I didn’t recognise the hard-faced broad at the Vic last week. It was Kath.

I think Kathy looks good. So sue me.

Kath is 70 years old and looks great. Sharon seems to have had that facelift where they just lift the skin. She still has her nasty dry extensions.

EE is playing up the similarity between Phil and Keanu, both physical and in terms of their attraction to Sharon. They do look a bit alike.

Phil listening to Depeche Mode .. lol!

Isn't Phil of "that" generation?

I guess you're right, R479. I guess I just don't think of him "that" way ;-)

Neither does Sharon, r480 😂

Everyone has finally discovered that Ted's flat is being used as a trap house!! Evie is in a bad way.

Why are they even bringing Ted back?

It’s been confirmed that Hayley isn’t coming back. Good. The actress wasn’t bad but the character was shoved down our throats. 97 episodes in 2018, according to Walford Web. Hayley should have been a six month villainess and no more than that. She was so scuzzy looking. When Kat referred to her as “gorgeous” just a few days after she found out she’d had a baby by Alfie I wanted to throw something at the TV. With that skin and those teeth and that attitude? I don’t fucking think so. It would have been the same if someone described Stuart as being “fit.”

Please post YOUR picture for us so we can revel in your handsomeness r484

I’m actually not bad looking at all, R485. And unlike the girl who plays Hayley I’ve got clear skin and a full set of choppers. So what’s your point, then?

The guy who plays Stuart is offensively ugly. He’s unwatchable. If he was a brilliant actor it might help. But he’s not.

No way was Haley "gorgeous." Besides the bad teeth and skin, her hair looked fried, like one of those cheap, dried-out, black wigs that kids wear at Halloween. And that scratchy voice. Does she smoke two packs a day? She not only looked bad, but sounded bad. I used to imagine she smelled bad too.

As for Stuart, I just don't care about his character. It doesn't matter that he looks like Uncle Fester. I think it's a mistake to have kept around. For me, he's just a reminder of how bad much of last year was, and I especially hated that story.

Bowden says Ben is darker and more brooding.

Thank God Evie’s gone.

R487, the whole show should be renamed FUGENDERS.

Freeze dried Denise and water buffalo Kim need to go, as does harridan Sonia, lardtard Sharon and Bernie, fugtastic Stuart, massive boiled egg head Phil, skeletal Shirley...Jesus, so much ugly in one place.

R490, you left out the hideous Karen Taylor, her two half-wit teens and fat pig daughter Bernadette. And Keanu who looks like something out of Deliverance.

Oops, sorry, you did remember Bernadette. Never mind.

Re r490s list, who can be considered halfway good-looking as is? Kush, Whitney, Habiba, Tiff (but hasn’t she gained weight?) and... er.... maybe Adam?

Needs to hit the gym and buy new clothes: Martin, Stacey, Keegan, Halfway, Bernie, Hayley.

Needs to gain a new personality and hit the tanning beds: Jay, Louise, Honey.

Needs a lighter hand with pancake makeup: Linda, Mel.

Would look OK for their age after a year of keto-dieting, personal training, microdermabrasion amd fillers: Mick, Ian, Sharon.

Who is currently looking after Heather Trott’s son George?

R494, George’s dad, the kid whi fathered him. And his family, too, I would guess.

I just had a look at WalfordWeb for the first time in a while and nothing has changed. Still the same arrogant people who won't let anyone have a different opinion about their favorite characters . And Mrs Peel is still vile as always . Why hasn't she been banned , she's slagging off actors for looks and what not .

It's not like most of the cast of EE has ever been anything but plain at best. It's part of the charm.

I agree, R496. Mrs. Peel is an American frau living in the UK. At least her posts don’t read like college theses and she’s stopped presenting storyline theories as facts. Shamelessness (such a stupid moniker) and Nevermindme, however, are insufferable gay bitches who don’t have a clue that they’re utter morons. I like Sue Osman a lot, though. His posts are cogent and well thought out.

Mrs Peel is such a hypocrite . Today's rant has her calling Keegan a violent misogynist while calling Evie a Chicken-Arsed Pout , Bex the po-faced Rebecca and Tiffany moon-faced . She hates conventionally pretty young girls more than anything .

She loved calling characters like Bianca and Jane, of all people, “cunts.” Very classy of her.

W and W for R493!

In my opinion, the only good looking people on Fugenders are Kush, Whitney and Louise. Bex and Tiff and Halfway are okay, as are Habiba and Iqra. Keanu would be fine if he grew his hair. Ruby's rapist was quite cute. Kaffy looks good for a 70 year old.

People EE want us to think are hot but aren't: Stacey, Ruby, Danny Dyer, Linda, Evie, Adam, Martin, Honey, Jack and Max Branning, and Mel.

People who deserve the title of Super Fug: Stuart , Phil, Shirley, Karen, Bernie, Kat Slater, Little Mo, Kim, Sharon

Love your list, R501.

I started watching last year after taking a 30 year break and am astonished by the female fan base Max has retained. I love a ginger as much as the next person but he is fug, and worse, psychotic. At least Phil isn’t acting like he’s the Michael Fassbender of Walford,

Max Branning has no hair, or visible eyebrows or eyelashes, so he's the worst kind of ginger. But FugEnders always has him unrealistically hooking up with attractive younger women like Lucy Beale, the policewoman who died of a brain injury, (Emma Summerhouse?) and Roxy Mitchell.

Even now he is apparently shagging some young Spanish teacher while his true physical match, stringy Raine, moves towards hooking up with fellow junkie, fugtard Stuart.

I've never understood how Max gets so many women, he is not attractive at all.

Any pics of Sharon's face-lift? How come she didn't get lipo?

Why the hell do so many of you keep watching?

Nothing else to do with your time fellas, besides criticize everyone's looks?

First full episode with Ben's new head . I don't know what to think but I wish they had used the actor for a different new character . I just don't think Ben when I see him . He didn't just get a head transplant he got a personality transplant too .

[quote] I've never understood how Max gets so many women, he is not attractive at all.

The only attractive thing about Max is his ass, so I suppose flipping him on his stomach so you don't have to look at him would work both ways.

Also, with Jake Wood being in his mid-40s, I'd give him kudos for keeping the rest of his body toned and fit. Some of the younger guys on EE could improve in that area.

Billy had a hot little body back in the day. It’s probably gone to seed in recent years.

The show should bring back Craig Fairbrass as Dan. Make him a serial killer and finish off Phil, Max, Stuart and Karen while pummeling Kunter (out of jail on a technicality) with that massive tool of his.

Fairbrass has gotten even better with age.

Ben is back and he, Phil and Keanu have decided to launder money together. The actor isn't yet comfortable in the role as the last character he played was an 18 yr old in Waterloo Road. Harry Reid is good looking without his glasses so he should have come back instead of this spazzy new guy.

Max is a bad boy.

Women love naughty boys.

Max looks like a "pinkie," the hairless, pink baby rats people buy to feed their snakes. Even if he's the naughtiest pinkie in the litter, I can't believe women find that attractive.

Max looked medium hot on Waterloo Road but he seems to have put on weight, or it could be the curse of FugEnders, which does have a tendency to ruin actors' looks. Case in point: Jac Jossa who pied out and never recovered her figure.

Given the timeline, and her lingerie, Stacey was a regular user of the Carmen Electra Fit To Strip DVD

I can’t stand Keegan’s character-he went from being a vicious piece of shit to “sensitive” within three episodes. He is, however, played by a very good looking actor.

One of the charms of EastEnders is the "normal" looking actors, and casting past-their-prime sexpots like Wendy Richards and Barbara Windsor were cases in point.

But it's slightly ridiculous that reasonable-looking people like Halfway and Keanu and hell, even Linda, are styled with awful clothes and crap hair. A few more people with the style-to-attractiveness ratio achieved by Kush and Whitney would be nice.

[quote] EastEnders fans convinced Ben Mitchell will seduce Chantelle’s hot husband Gray and have steamy affair behind her back

Girl yass

R518, that would be a cool storyline.

I think Kate Oates might be trying to de-fugify EE. Her new castings have all been fairly good looking: the Asian girls, Chantelle, her husband, even new Ben. It may signal a turnaround for FugEnders as we know it.

[quote]A few more people with the style-to-attractiveness ratio achieved by Kush and Whitney would be nice.

Don’t forget the dapper Gray! Gray seems to have a nice dusting of chest hair and hopefully Kate Oates will show us more of it.

Up in R471, I was fantasizing Gray would be bisexual.

Some of you should switch to SpongeBob.

Some of you should switch to SpongeBob.

Some of you should switch to SpongeBob.

Some of you should switch to SpongeBob.

Some of you should switch to SpongeBob.

Do you have dementia, R526?

The whole Slater family need to go.

Not Stacey, though. I like her.

Stacey is good and the actress screams 25% less than the other actresses on this show. She had a bangin' body as recently as last year but will always be jowly. It's just the face one is born with. I expect Kate Oates to have Lacey Turner in something formfitting as soon as she pops out that child.

Actually that's why I have never given up on Sharon or Shirley because they don't screech out their dialogue.

I don't care about Denise's shellacked face but the character is such a cunt and the actress playing Kim cannot act.

R529, I saw the actress who plays Kim in a panto back in December and she was actually really good. I was surprised.

Women can't resist the charm that is Max Branning.

He's the Svengoolie of Walford.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Hello, Ladies!

I miss Bianca.

Bianca's having tons of fun playing on the beach in Malibu.

^^^ Sunscreen, anyone?

Which one is Bianca?

R527 Bianca (Patsy Palmer) is the one with the hat on. And she's often sporting a huge sun hat, so I'm guessing sure she's aware of her redheaded need to use sun protection, R536.

btw - Her four kids are all good looking (imho).

PP's kids are cute, she must have married a dark haired guy to balance out the ginger.

New Ben is being mean and nasty, kicking out at his daughter and being aggressive to Lexi. Old Ben had plenty of mean in him too though so it isn't out of character.

Bianca look like a long hair man.

Woof-Woof !

Why did they bring back Lexi? Bitch is boring as hell.

Oops, I meant Lola.

Did Lola drink champagne and dance all night?

Well, she sure wasn’t a showgirl from Vegas, more a scrubber from Mudchute.

Moving into No. 1.

Chantelle is a bore and the actress is very low energy. I doubt she’ll still be there by Christmas.

Were Evie & Tiffany beaten and raped, or just out turning tricks for some quick cash.

I don’t give a shit about either of them. This show has gone downhill so badly. I wonder if it will ever be watchable again.

Tiffany was hoeing for drugs.

They need to have someone ordering Xanax off the internet, which is big in the UK at the moment.

Agree that Lola is dull and chavtastic..

More Gray, please!

Maybe they should do a PSA involving Mick and gynecomastia?

His man boobs really are a disgrace, though.

Who's bigger now, Mick or Martin?

Both are lardtards.

In the R551 pic Danny Dyer appears to have too free a hand with the fillers. He needs to lay off the lage and cut out the pies and then decided if he wants lipo under the chin.

I wonder if Scott Maslen (Jack) has a big schlong.

Not surprised Hunter wants to stay in prison. He must be taking cock by the yard.

Mel/Hunter remind me of that scene in Slapshot where Paul Newman’s character says to the mother of a young boy “He’ll have a cock in his mouth before you can say ‘Cock robin.’l

Instead of simply showing a hungover Ben lazing on the sofa, they should have had some hook-up from the night before come down the stairs putting a shirt on, with Ben telling the guy, "No, you can't stay for a coffee. .. And use the front door, through there. .. My daughter's in the kitchen eating a biscuit."

New thread for when this one runs out.

So Hunter ridiculously pleaded guilty to murder just to get rid of his character for a year and then recast him with a taller, hotter actor who is also mean as hell.

Sometimes I think he and Mel might be heading for an incest storyline or he could come back gay or bi.

What's the point of keeping Mel around now that she can't bark "HUNTER" every 20 seconds?

She’ll probably be helping Ben take down Phil, which should be fun to watch.

Huntaah ........

Huntaah, wheyre ahh you?

Hunter was a hoe and a half, cavorting aged 15 with Louise and making sure it was caught on Phil's CCTV. I hope lardfug Bernie and her mother get sacked soon.

Danny Dyer hasn't been properly on camera for ages.

What do people think of querulous Jean? I find her so irritating.

The actress is good but the character is indeed irritating.

Jean is psychotic. The way she was written with regards to Hayley and her pregnancy was ridiculous. The object of Hayley was to expand the Moon family for further decades but shit.

I would love to see a ruthless cull of the Slaters. Giant Mo, fishwife Stacey and neurotic Jean all need to go.

I hope that the men running the gay bar approach Hollyoaks level of hot.

Someone like Hollyoaks’ Sylver running the bar would be great.

I think R470 is onto something.

R568 I totally agree, and am shocked that the only Slater I can generally tolerate lately is Kat, especially now that Alfie is gone.

That combined family has seven kids, but you only ever see them holding Hayley's baby, which she would never have abandoned given how distraught she was when Archie ran off with her.

It's clear that Keanu still fancies fugtastic Sharon.

We haven't seen the King of Fug, Stuart, for a while.

This scene made me laugh so hard.

I would also keep Mo with her throbbin' "farmers."

EastEnders does love a demon child storyline. I remember when Denny was a blond haired cherub and now he's morphed into Bobby Beale.

He punched Sharon in her lovely new face-lift the other night.

Hunter's just taken 11 inches. Those were tears of joy, tonight!

Hunter’s twitching anus felt paradise tonight.

Have the women at the hair salon considered doing something about their own hair, first? And even barber Mitch could use some work.

So Ben's okay human trafficking? Geez.

This human trafficking thing is ridiculous. Why make the gay character into the soap's most evil villain? He had no real evil in him prior to this. I was hoping for him to have a romantic storyline, not this.

EE stans on Walford Web aren't happy at all.

That punch looked mighty unconvincing.

Of course it was, Sharon's face cannot be damaged!

[quote] This human trafficking thing is ridiculous. Why make the gay character into the soap's most evil villain?

~Sigh~ And if Ben's going to be that evil, he might as well have kept the sports car his former lover gave him and stuck with the equally-amoral (now dead) Luke.

Exactly, this new Ben would have adored fiendish daddy Luke.

Do any of you know about Steven Bear, that crazy adhd violent guy who scared everyone senseless on Celebrity Big Brother a few years ago? The actor playing Ben sometimes seems to be doing his best Bear impression.

New thread which some people are already using.

https://www.datalounge.com/thread/23572543-eastenders-part-9-fugenders

Who else gets bad vibes from Gray? He seems to be very controlling with Chantelle. I smell a domestic abuse storyline. Good to see a realistic Albert Square house buyer for a change instead of market traders renting houses that would be about 5k a month to rent.

Apparently Vincent is set to return. Maybe he'll hook up with Chantelle and spark the rage of Gray.

Danny Dyer has been conspicuous by his absence. I'm sure Kate Oates has some interesting storylines acued up for him. It would be good to see him be unfaithful to annoying Linda.

Who else spotted a sizzle of sexual energy between Halfway and Ben last night? Definitely a glint in both their eyes and that would be quite a HOT pairing.

I guess Danny Dyer was performing in the West End during the current scenes?

If not, Kate has probably sent him off to a fat farm.

Halfway looks like like he's gained 30 pounds .. and not in a Goodway.

As for Gray, could there be another reason why he wants to keep Chantelle busy at work full-time? I can see it getting her out of the way, so he and his random Crusadr hook-ups can put that renovated basement at No. 1 to good use.

And Oates version of Ben? If he's meant to be totally repellent, then we have success. Human trafficking makes him a disgusting piece of shit. And his insulting pub "banter" just makes him pathetic.

Is Ben the one who was abused by Sophie Thompson?

Weird that Danny Dyer is being paid so much and yet isn't really on screen a lot at the moment.

New thread, part 9

New thread part 9, FugEnders

I think Honey is going to get her heart broken. Maybe she will hook up with Jack Branning.

Newwwwwwww thread