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Advice on tongue cancer please

I just found out I have tongue cancer. They will have to remove almost half my tongue, and reconstruct it using an artery from my forearm, and a skin graft from my leg. I will have to breath through a tracheotomy for a few weeks, and eat through a feeing tube in my chest for at least 45 days. I may or may need need radiation. I will be in the hospital for five days.

Fortunately, my insurance will cover all but the deductible, and the success rate is high. The thing is: I simply don’t know if I want to go through it. I do not have anyone who is dependent on me, do not have many close friends, and my presence is really not required here. I’m tempted to just kill myself rather than go through with the operation and recovery.

I am 61, and in otherwise great health.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? Is it as horrible as it sounds?

I know I’m asking for too much, but please no snarky or nasty comments; I am not sure I can handle them.

Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 596December 22, 2018 10:43 PM

Is the surgery expected to remove all of the cancer?

If so, everything you've described is a temporary experience to full recovery and living the rest of your life.

by Anonymousreply 1September 13, 2018 6:37 PM

I agree with R1. Reconsider and don’t you dare do something like that.

by Anonymousreply 2September 13, 2018 6:38 PM

Surgery is expected to remove it all, but they won't know for sure until they start the surgery. The funny thing is, I don't smoke, and this type of cancer is almost always affects smokers. It is a fluke that I got it.

by Anonymousreply 3September 13, 2018 6:40 PM

[R1] here again.

My mother had tongue cancer.

She ignored getting it treated until the cancer spread into the bones of her face.

Instead of just having a part of her tongue removed at this point, her lower jaw and one cheek bone now needed to be removed.

She couldn't live like that and refused treatment.

You do not want to wind up like my mother.

Trust me. Get treatment now.

by Anonymousreply 4September 13, 2018 6:42 PM

OP, google "tongue (or oral) cancer support groups". There are several of them. Since I don't know anything about them I'm not linking to one but please look at them. It may give you a totally different perspective on this. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 5September 13, 2018 6:42 PM

Get treatment, OP. Get better and live your life. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 6September 13, 2018 6:45 PM

Soap actress Colleen Zenk had tongue cancer, she had a "partial glossectomy with reconstruction." She was back on the soap (looking gorgeous as always) in a month or so, though she had later complications. Have the surgery, OP, and enjoy all the wonderful things that could come your way in the next 20 years.

by Anonymousreply 7September 13, 2018 6:49 PM

I have no advice but I'm wishing you the best OP.

by Anonymousreply 8September 13, 2018 6:51 PM

Wishing you all the best OP & you never know what wonderful things await you so please do not self-harm. This diagnosis must be devastating but the body is a miraculous thing and I am sure you will make a full recovery. Sending you the best and warmest wishes from Canada.

by Anonymousreply 9September 13, 2018 6:55 PM

Too much deep throating. Shame. Shame.

by Anonymousreply 10September 13, 2018 6:58 PM

How terrible, OP. I have no practical advice, but we're here if you want to rage. I hope you keep us updated.

by Anonymousreply 11September 13, 2018 7:00 PM

Michael Douglas had throat cancer (?) - can't remember - but he finally lucked out and found a good doctor in Montreal and has been fine ever since. I believe he was pretty far along but they caught it.

OP - The fact they can isolate it and have a strategy and follow up for you is a Plan.

by Anonymousreply 12September 13, 2018 7:01 PM

"Every Day Is A Gift"

Have you had enough gifts OP, or are you looking forward to the next one?

And the one after that?

by Anonymousreply 13September 13, 2018 7:01 PM

I'm so sorry, OP. Due to claustrophobia/anxiety about breathing, the idea of a tracheostomy and feeding tube would freak me out and force me to do the same analysis. Is there any other way they can remove or manage the cancer without those extreme steps?

by Anonymousreply 14September 13, 2018 7:01 PM

I lost much of my lower right jaw and teeth to stage 2 oral cancer, so I know some of what you are going through. I refused radiation after surgery because it can kill your taste buds and not necessarily work. I've been cancer free going on nine years. So I say have it done and here's wishing you luck.

But, if you do decide to off yourself, can I have your estate? I'll do only good deeds with it, I promise.

by Anonymousreply 15September 13, 2018 7:03 PM

[quote] Advice on tongue cancer please

Stop. Telling. Lies.

You're welcome.

by Anonymousreply 16September 13, 2018 7:03 PM

I have a friend who is undergoing exactly the same thing. It's a 98% success rate so your outlook is excellent.

by Anonymousreply 17September 13, 2018 7:04 PM

OP - Don't panic and do not anticipate the worst. These are skilled surgeons, radiologists and you are in excellent hands. Think a year from now when you will be recovered and feeling grateful this is behind you.

by Anonymousreply 18September 13, 2018 7:08 PM

Chef Grant Achatz of Alinea in Chicago is a tongue cancer survivor. You can do this! Good on you for reaching out for support!

by Anonymousreply 19September 13, 2018 7:09 PM

My friend went through the same thing except he was 50. Has his entire tongue removed along with lymph nodes in his neck and his lower jaw which was replaced by part of his shoulder blade. He did great and was out of the hospital in less than a week. He did not require a tracheotomy. Just some drainage tubes for a few days. You need to do this, OP. Perhaps go to a major academic center as he did.

by Anonymousreply 20September 13, 2018 7:10 PM

I was about to say the same thing that R7 did. Colleen survived and had her tongue reconstructed.

by Anonymousreply 21September 13, 2018 7:11 PM

[quote] Advice on tongue cancer please

Don't get it

by Anonymousreply 22September 13, 2018 7:12 PM

And 61? - You're a Spring Chicken ffs!

by Anonymousreply 23September 13, 2018 7:26 PM

I just don't know if i want to put myself through all that shit. I have very few friends, and i am not responsible for anyone. I am jsut tempted to kill myself rather than put myself through all that. I simply don't know if I can do it.

by Anonymousreply 24September 13, 2018 10:24 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this OP.

by Anonymousreply 25September 13, 2018 10:30 PM

[bold] 🚭 NO SMOKING

by Anonymousreply 26September 13, 2018 10:32 PM

R26, read R3

by Anonymousreply 27September 13, 2018 10:33 PM

OP There are cancer "navigators" in hospitals now. PAs or NPs that walk you through every part of it from hospitalization to home and beyond. Call and have one assigned to you. Let your friends know and tell them how vulnerable you are right now and you need them. You would be surprised how people come through when you reach out. Good Luck. I will be thinking of you.

by Anonymousreply 28September 13, 2018 10:35 PM

As mentioned, Grant Achatz dealt with this. Ate too much pussy.

They wanted to remove most of his tongue, but he found a surgeon who was able to spare it. And this was more than a decade ago.

Might want to look up where he was treated if you have the ability to travel.

by Anonymousreply 29September 13, 2018 10:37 PM

Ask about Erbitux.

[quote]The good news is that right now Achatz appears to be cancer-free and the tumor eradicated. Moreover, Achatz still has his tongue, probably thanks to a targeted new drug called Erbitux, which he received as part of a clinical trial at the University of Chicago.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 30September 13, 2018 10:44 PM

Fight hard to win OP, otherwise what was the point of fighting to get this far in life? You will prevail. Love.

by Anonymousreply 31September 13, 2018 11:02 PM

A friend did. Took a long time for his sense of taste to return.

by Anonymousreply 32September 13, 2018 11:04 PM

Amazon's Choice. Prime shipping. Pure. Guaranteed.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 33September 13, 2018 11:08 PM

R33 -- I'm not sure what that chemical is supposed to do?

by Anonymousreply 34September 13, 2018 11:37 PM

OP, I know someone who had it more than ten years ago. He was in his late 50s, non smoker. Food (restaurant dining several times a week) was his big thing. He had the surgery (a chunk of his tongue was removed), but speak normally now and has been cancer free since then. The only downfall is that he had to eat "baby food" for so long, he lost interest in food and is rail thin as a consequence.

by Anonymousreply 35September 13, 2018 11:59 PM

Whatever you decide, OP, good luck with the outcome and I hope you do well.

by Anonymousreply 36September 14, 2018 12:03 AM

Your diagnosis means you noticed something was wrong and rather than just ignore it because you didn't care, you went to have it checked out. That suggests you're not done with life. Get the treatment and take the advice up thread to seek out support groups. All the best!

by Anonymousreply 37September 14, 2018 12:11 AM

OP my friend's dad had it 15 years ago.

He is doing great and loving life. A slight thick sound in his speech but no biggie.

Get it done. And sending you love and hugs.

by Anonymousreply 38September 14, 2018 12:14 AM

I know the whole treatment process will be scary and tiresome, but you can find support groups and reach out to your family and friends. There is no reason your life has to end when your prognosis is good.

I vote don't kill yourself! Don't go at it alone, find support and fight for your life! 61 years old is a young age to die! Plus, just because others don't depend on you is no reason to die. Aren't there things you enjoy doing? Isn't that reason enough to live, so you can enjoy life's little joys?

by Anonymousreply 39September 14, 2018 12:15 AM

Sending you hugs, OP!

by Anonymousreply 40September 14, 2018 12:17 AM

No medical advice to add, but I think you should go through with the treatment. The world really does need all the Dataloungers it can get. Our type of personality has a unique role and purpose. I really believe that.

by Anonymousreply 41September 14, 2018 12:20 AM

My brother just went through tongue cancer! It was a hard road, he had a tongue replacement and radiation. I think the worst part was just knowing he had cancer. Such a frightening thing to hear. But he has come through it all, is 40 pounds lighter, and is doing really well. He listens to his doctors, he obeys all commands, but he is cancer free. You can do this. who knows what's around the corner. Be strong. Stay with us. PS- The Data Lounge has some WONDERFUL posters. xx

by Anonymousreply 42September 14, 2018 12:22 AM

Our thoughts and prayers.

by Anonymousreply 43September 14, 2018 12:29 AM

You're a youngsta' - fight the fight, listen to your health care providers, survive, do good things, be kind, enjoy.

by Anonymousreply 44September 14, 2018 12:31 AM

You don’t really need your tongue, OP.

by Anonymousreply 45September 14, 2018 12:35 AM

0/10 OP. What is your target in this one? It's probably the guy in R30's post or healthcare. I'm betting the guy in R30. I just looked him up and can guess where you and your internet minions want to go with this thread.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 46September 14, 2018 12:37 AM

Are you a top, OP? Then, no worries.

by Anonymousreply 47September 14, 2018 12:37 AM

The surgery is worth it. The staging and grading seem hopeful.

Of course part of your concern must be the matters of speech and taste. Is it oral tongue or oropharyngeal? Have they discussed physical therapy with you yet? The speed of the need for surgery (meaning has it been expanding.

As mentioned, it does tend to spread because it's almost always a squamous cell type, and it moves through the palate and throat in unmanageable and painful ways. You would want the surgery, because you would not want to try to live with the long-term consequences.

If you say you don't know if you want to deal with it, the surgery and recovery therapies, even if radiation is needed, are likely to provide you with your life, while not having the surgery will lead to a long period of great pain and discomfort or, heaven forbid, a suicide that does not seem to match who you are. Those are the three alternatives, and one is hope and two are hopeless. You are not hopeless, or you wouldn't have risked writing here, which always is a bad idea for people who truly are in dire straits.

I suggest you are just settling your mind to the right choice. Of course you should seek an informed alternative medical view, but what has been suggested sounds like current best practices in action. Make sure you have a surgical team that has lots of experience. And cover the post-surgical therapy needs.

There's no soft-soaping it. It' dreadful news. But it is not the kind of news many of us get, and you never know what life will bring - unless you're alive.

by Anonymousreply 48September 14, 2018 12:44 AM

Sophia, there aren’t going to be anymore birthdays.

by Anonymousreply 49September 14, 2018 12:48 AM

If ask nice, they let you keep the part they removed. Put it in a jar of alcohol.

by Anonymousreply 50September 14, 2018 12:48 AM

OP, you have good health insurance. Think about all the people who are sick but can't afford treatment. It sucks to go through this, but there are some positives. Any resulting deformity (if any occurs at all) won't be obvious when you're in public. It's completely treatable with this single surgery. Go through a few months of hell, and then you can enjoy another 20 years of traveling, viewing nature, watching your favorite shows, and listening to great music. Get through it and then volunteer. Your life has more value than you can see right now.

by Anonymousreply 51September 14, 2018 12:54 AM

I think what R51 is trying to say is

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by Anonymousreply 52September 14, 2018 12:58 AM

My brother has just this week been diagnosed with throat cancer, and I'm sure has had many of the same thoughts as you, although he has more familial support. There's no sugar coating that the next several months will be highly unpleasant for you. But as others have suggested, there is support out there, and it's likely that for several months you'll have to use a feeding tube, so no worries about who's going to cook for you when you're not feeling great. In most types of jobs, you should be able to get leave during the worst of your treatment. On the other end of things your quality of life should return, and having gone through this experience, you'll probably find that there are things you've been putting off doing that now you realize you should priortize. See the Taj Mahal, take up the cello - whatever

by Anonymousreply 53September 14, 2018 1:08 AM

Have the surgery and live dear one. Buy a plant that flowers in six months and look forward to those flowers. Big hugs from Australia. x

by Anonymousreply 54September 14, 2018 1:08 AM

I always marvel at the sardonic smart asses who are convinced everyone is trolling, thus the "OP is a troll this 0/10". IF someone is a troll, so the fuck what? This poster seems genuine to me, and I am going to assume that he is, because my desire to offer some help he seeks, is greater than my smarminess to show everyone how cool I am to smoke out a Troller, who heaven forfend, might cause people to show their best characteristics of kindness and empathy. Rant Over.

by Anonymousreply 55September 14, 2018 1:11 AM

I second R55. This post feels real. Sending good vibes your way, OP.

by Anonymousreply 56September 14, 2018 1:13 AM

OP Please go through the treatment. You may be surprised at how support groups and the healing process change your life for the better. Please get help in the form of emotional support. When people are depressed they tend to undervalue their importance to other people. I know you write that you don;t have more than a few friends but I think you are most likely underestimating your value to the world because of your depression . Please talk to a professional, get some emotional support. You are overwhelmed and need an outside perspective.

Please.

by Anonymousreply 57September 14, 2018 1:16 AM

OP Don't be defeatist. Many people who were diagnosed with tongue or mouth cancer would love to trade places with you and have your positive prognosis. You were pretty much given a second chance at a basically normal life. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. In your situation the glass is half full, not half empty. Embrace your fortunate situation and look forward to your future life.

by Anonymousreply 58September 14, 2018 1:21 AM

I get your ambivalence, OP. For this decision, you should go with the flow and get the treatment, recover, and then make your decision. You will be a different person to some degree and future you may be more certain. But shortly after receiving bad news? Not the time to make a such a heavy choice. After recovery from treatment you’ll have more time and a better sense of what you want.

by Anonymousreply 59September 14, 2018 1:23 AM

OP, I'm so sorry: I don't have any experience with tongue cancer, but you can see that lots of DLers do. I'm glad you asked us for help. Please get the necessary surgery: it seems horrible at this point, but the alternative is worse.

BTW, I agree with R55, R56. I'm facing my own health issues, and this thread has been very encouraging to me.

by Anonymousreply 60September 14, 2018 1:25 AM

So many people have no choice but to just die from their illnesses OP.

You have the chance (a very good chance) to live normally for another 20 years. Please don't waste it.

by Anonymousreply 61September 14, 2018 1:28 AM

OP, I'm sorry, that's terrible news, the good news is that your doctor/s have given your more than a fighting chance of survival & living a normal life. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer with liver metastasis. My oncologist gave me a prognosis of 18 months, that was in August 2010.

by Anonymousreply 62September 14, 2018 1:48 AM

R62 You're very much a lucky long term survivor. Sometimes treatments in dire circumstances have great results. Hopefully you'll be around for a lot longer.

by Anonymousreply 63September 14, 2018 2:03 AM

OP here. I am touched and overwhelmed by the kind responses, and not entirely surprised by those that are less kind. Thank you. The reason I went to the doctor was because it hurt to eat or drink. It took a few months to get the diagnosis. My GP thought it was from acid reflux, but I knew it was not. I went to another doctor who swore it was from the acid from eating too many tomatoes. She gave me some mouth rinse that didnt work, so I went to an ENT who swore it wasn't cancer, and insisted that it was a tongue bite, and put me on prednisone. That didn't work, so I finally went to an oral surgeon who quickly realized it was cancer. I don't know yet if I need radiation; I will find that out Monday. The one good thing is that the husband of my best friend is the chief of staff of the world-class hospital, and the doctor is recognized as one of the leading oral cancer doctors. I also have good insurance. And, I work for myself, which both makes it harder and easier. I can take off work for as long as I want, but I won't make any money while I'm convalescing. I am also intensely reclusive, and doubt I will reach out to a support group, and the thought of needing someone to help me is contrary to my nature. The whole thing sounds so creepy and science fiction to me. A tongue made from my forearm?!?!? But..thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.

by Anonymousreply 64September 14, 2018 2:03 AM

I'm not going to lie, the surgery sounds dreadful. However, your not that old and you have many good years ahead. The pain from the surgery might not compare with the pain you experience if you slowly died by not doing it. Sending best wishes your way, OP.

by Anonymousreply 65September 14, 2018 2:09 AM

OP, I am very sorry to hear about the diagnosis. You sound like a very kind and thoughtful person. I hope that you decide to have the surgery.

by Anonymousreply 66September 14, 2018 2:16 AM

Best wishes, OP. Go for the surgery and living a long life. We only get one shot at it and it's never problem free. You'll get through it and be stronger on the other end, with many more adventures to come.

by Anonymousreply 67September 14, 2018 2:20 AM

Op, you're going through an emotionally and mentally devastating time, as well as facing a potentially physically devastating experience, unfortunately. Please make arrangements to spend time with a trained therapist to talk through your thoughts and fears, please. At that same time, go through with the surgery, while maintaining your relationship with your therapist.

Keep us posted, dammit, ; otherwise, we'll bug ya! :-)

by Anonymousreply 68September 14, 2018 2:27 AM

OP, I don't know if my approach to similar circumstances will be helpful but when I am facing a period of very unpleasant medical care, I think back to what I was doing the same number of days earlier. It never feels that long ago and helps me realize that the period of unpleasantness I am facing really isn't as long it I think. Also, you mention you fear that you cannot handle what is coming. I bet you can. How about going ahead with the treatment and dealing with each day as it comes. If you truly truly can't handle another day, you still have control and can opt out of life at any time. I know it sounds trite but really, one day at a time is a good way to get through a bad time.

by Anonymousreply 69September 14, 2018 2:36 AM

So I supposed a blow job is out of the question then?

by Anonymousreply 70September 14, 2018 2:41 AM

OP, have you read the article linked at R30? That guy was diagnosed with Stage 4 tongue cancer and his doctors recommended surgery too, but he got a third opinion and was successfully treated with a new (at the time) drug along with chemotherapy and radiation. He kept his tongue and now is cancer free, ten years later.

The drug is called Erbitux. It was prescribed by a doctor at the University of Chicago. Please get second and third opinions before you decide what to do.

by Anonymousreply 71September 14, 2018 2:45 AM

Some very good advice here, OP. It (surgery, etc) will be an inconvenience for a while, but you can look forward to the other side. We’re with you. Best of luck and love to you.

by Anonymousreply 72September 14, 2018 2:49 AM

Best Wishes OP, very sorry you have to go through this. Please get a second opinion, as I have heard of many like Grant Achatz having tongue sparing surgeries, or less invasive treatments and do quite well. Hugs and courage for you OP.

by Anonymousreply 73September 14, 2018 2:50 AM

[quote]Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Considering the situation, perhaps you could have phrased this differently.

by Anonymousreply 74September 14, 2018 2:56 AM

I emailed my doctor to ask him about that drug. I'm waiting to hear what says, but my cousin is an oral surgeon in Miami, and she seemed to think it is not as good as it's cracked up to be, and is usually used to treat recurring cancer. You also need to have chemo and radiation, both of which I want to avoid. Grant might have been one of the lucky ones that it helped, but I will still investigate it. Again, thank you all for your great advice and concern. And R70, funny you should ask. I do, of course, wonder if that will always be out of the question. I am reluctant to ask my doctor. I am a top, so it isn't critical, but the thought of never being able to kiss someone without worrying about my tongue feeling like a freak to the other person concerns me. It is unlikely that i will kiss someone again -- you have to recognize that the chances diminish at my age - but I would have liked to have had that option.

by Anonymousreply 75September 14, 2018 3:27 AM

What R61 said. Read that a couple of times. I’m reclusive and no partner and I understand what you may be feeling OP. Sending thoughts and love.

by Anonymousreply 76September 14, 2018 3:27 AM

I'm sorry, OP. It does sound brutal and I empathize with you feeling that it might not be worth all that pain and suffering. But 61 is no age at all these days, really. Who knows what you might miss if you don't stick around? I wish you as much peace of mind as possible no matter what happens.

by Anonymousreply 77September 14, 2018 3:38 AM

R62 How did you beat that type of cancer? I'm curious since you were so far gone in terms of the cancer spreading.

by Anonymousreply 78September 14, 2018 3:39 AM

Not R62 but there are new drugs that are getting amazing results. Immuno targeted therapy and there are new ones being tested all the time.

by Anonymousreply 79September 14, 2018 3:45 AM

OP, go all in with the treatment. Find a doctor you trust and just follow his/her advice. You can do this. I'm not a joiner, but at one point in my life, I joined support group and it really, really helped.

by Anonymousreply 80September 14, 2018 3:47 AM

Think of yourself as having a new chance at life. If you are ready to throw it all away then why not embrace the experience? You have a best friend, a world class doctor, insurance, a business. Know that the people you are close too would be devastated. Don't devalue yourself. Stop being a dumbass and just figure it out. Meet new people. Get out of your rut and stop being reclusive, it's annoying. If anything try some energy healing or massage, facial, yoga, deep self-care type stuff. Or push yourself to have new experiences such as sailing, skydiving, scuba diving, learn to cook etc.

by Anonymousreply 81September 14, 2018 4:18 AM

OP Lonely place to be. Thinking of you. Hope all goes well.

by Anonymousreply 82September 14, 2018 4:22 AM

R78, I had surgery to remove a section of the colon & a baseball-sized tumor, then, six months of chemotherapy. The three small liver tumors disappeared after chemotherapy. Six months after chemo, I had liver surgery, half of my liver was removed, no further cancer was found.

by Anonymousreply 83September 14, 2018 4:32 AM

No better advice has ever been given, R44. Good on you.

Be strong, OP, if for no one other than yourself.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. --Martha Graham

by Anonymousreply 84September 14, 2018 4:40 AM

Josh, you bitch, how are you?

by Anonymousreply 85September 14, 2018 4:54 AM

r84 Thank you for posting that quote, it's one of my favorites. I worked with MG so it's very special to me. I hope OP takes it to heart. Every person is unique and has value.

by Anonymousreply 86September 14, 2018 5:51 AM

[quote]You also need to have chemo and radiation, both of which I want to avoid.

OP/R75, Dear one, if you have the option to preserve your tongue by going through chemo/radiation, do it.

Being alive with a partial glossectomy is better than being dead, but having a full tongue after a few months of chemo/radiation is better than a glossectomy.

by Anonymousreply 87September 14, 2018 6:13 AM

But of course, OP, know that we're all here for you no matter what!

by Anonymousreply 88September 14, 2018 6:14 AM

You went to 3 different doctors who told you that you didn't have cancer OP. Then you go to an oral surgeon and he said you have cancer $$$$... That surgeon is just a sociopath quack who wants your money.

Go to the best doctor in your area and see what he or she thinks. Not a fucking surgeon who makes his $$$ cutting dumbass people up. Your so fucking gullible OP. Most surgeons are sociopaths don't trust them.

by Anonymousreply 89September 14, 2018 6:27 AM

R89 believes that name-calling will earn O.P.'s trust and allay his fears. I find that doubtful.

by Anonymousreply 90September 14, 2018 6:45 AM

I worked as an RN and its very common for surgeons to do unneeded operations on people just to make money.

Those quacks had multiple houses owned multiple expensive exotic cars. One surgeon had over a dozen cars. Don't be a gullible dumbass OP.

by Anonymousreply 91September 14, 2018 6:47 AM

Anyone else here want to call the O.P. "a gullible dumbass" while we're at it? Do knock it off.

by Anonymousreply 92September 14, 2018 6:55 AM

Potassium ferrocyanide trihydrate, R34.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 93September 14, 2018 7:03 AM

OP went to 3 different doctors. An ENT even swore that he didn't have cancer. The neurotic OP then finds some quack whack ass sociopath surgeon who says yeah ok ya neurotic dumbass ya got cancer cha ching! $$$$

Stop biting your fucking tongue you nuerotic hypochondriac. Stop it with your over involvement with doctors and surgeons. All the nuerotic weirdo hypochondriacs that I have ever known who would see shitloads of doctors and surgeons all ended up crippled, disabled, disfigured or ended up dead.

by Anonymousreply 94September 14, 2018 7:06 AM

Sending all good thoughts your way.

I can identify with your life circumstances, except that you sound much more financially sound. (I am also self- employed and live alone.)

Ignore the people here who seem to have no love in them to give anyone, but take what the rest of us offer. It is sincere.

Hugs to you!

by Anonymousreply 95September 14, 2018 7:20 AM

I forgot to mention that many of the hypochondriac weirdos were also turned into drug addicts some even overdosed and died.

When you go to shitloads of doctors looking for an illness because you are a nuerotic hypochondriac eventually you will find a quack that will agree with you. Especially if your illness is what they specialize in and will make them shitloads of $$$

OP goes to 3 different doctors because he thinks he has oral cancer. All 3 say no 1 even swears by it. Then the fucking weirdo finds some quack oral surgeon and yay! He finally has the cancer he so desperately wanted. The surgeon is happy because he makes $$$$ off the fucking weirdo.

by Anonymousreply 96September 14, 2018 7:23 AM

Thank you, dear heart R63.

by Anonymousreply 97September 14, 2018 7:28 AM

I bet the quack surgeon didn't even bother to do a biopsy. Go to a different doctor not the fucking quack. Ask them to do a biopsy. They can do it with a needle and remove a bit of tissue and examine it under the microscope.

Did the fucking quack want to remove half of your tongue without even bothering to do a simple tongue biopsy?????

by Anonymousreply 98September 14, 2018 7:33 AM

No surgery OP until you have had a biopsy done that tests positive for cancer. Stop going to the sociopath quack. Get your biopsy done with a doctor that's not in any way affiliated with that sociopath surgeon or the hospital that he works at.

You don't have cancer until the biopsy results say that you do. Ignore the surgeons diagnosis. Diagnosing tongue cancer and scheduling a surgery without a biopsy is medical malpractice.

by Anonymousreply 99September 14, 2018 7:41 AM

I would be stunned if the doctor diagnosed it without a biopsy. That's just a detail OP left out of his narrative. I've never heard of such a thing, ever. First of all, most insurances wouldn't cover a cancer surgery unless there was a definitive diagnosis based upon a biopsy.

by Anonymousreply 100September 14, 2018 7:49 AM

No advice OP, except to ignore the raging lunatic lambasting your choices. Wishing you all the best for this procedure and recovery.

by Anonymousreply 101September 14, 2018 7:54 AM

OP, please don't pay attention to the weird ravings of [R89], [R91], [R94], [R96], [R98], [R99]. You have described your history, and I would actually be extremely upset with your GP and ENT docs for misdiagnosing you and delaying your care. I had tongue cancer, and somewhere in the back of my head knew it, but denial is denial. After a few months of wishful thinking that it was a scratch/abrasion from an old filling, I finally made an appointment with my dentist (often the first line of defense against oral cancer). Because I mentioned my concern when I called the office, I was given an immediate appointment. The dentist thought that the "scratch" looked suspicious, and had me use a mouth rinse consisting of a blue dye that "sticks to" abnormal cells. He then called in a neighboring periodontist in the building to take a look as well. They left the exam room to confer and came back with a referral to an ENT/head and neck specialist at a major university hospital near me; I was seen and biopsied within the week.

Over the course of the next 3-4 weeks, I underwent a full body PET scan and a head and neck CT scan (both of which were thankfully negative), and surgery to remove a chunk of my tongue. One of my thighs was marked in case the excision turned out to be large enough to require harvested muscle tissue to fill in the defect.

Postoperatively, my throat hurt like hell from being intubated. I was sent home the following morning with 7 days' worth of pain meds and a board to write on as I was not supposed to speak for a couple of days. Popsicles, ice cream, soup, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, etc. were my diet that first week. I was not to brush my teeth, and could only rinse with mouthwash (I used Crest Kid's Alcohol-Free). My first post-op appointment was ten days after surgery, and I spent the prior couple of days singing the alphabet song so that I could speak well enough to be cleared to go back to work, which I did that following day. I talked like Daffy Duck for a very long time, and drooling was an embarrassing problem for a while, but my final path report had shown clear margins, follow-up appointments were good, and my prognosis was great, and that was what really mattered -- seven and a half years ago and now.

The surgery and recovery plan you share certainly does sound much more involved, and I hope was presented as the worst case scenario for you, but you will find there are more people out there than you can ever imagine who want nothing more than to provide as much or as little love and support you need to get through this. Please let them.

by Anonymousreply 102September 14, 2018 8:53 AM

Unless you are going to kill yourself, doing what the doctor says is probably the best choice. Sorry this happened to you but take it one day at a time, you will make it through.

by Anonymousreply 103September 14, 2018 9:14 AM

Wonderful people here sharing their stories of triumph and survival and it really shows the true DL, the one I come back to every day. I hope you choose life, OP, no matter how hard it gets while you reach. Much much love on your journey to recovery.

by Anonymousreply 104September 14, 2018 12:47 PM

OP here.

R89 and others... Perhaps I was not clear enough in my timeline. I went three doctors, who diagnosed three different ailments. I then went to an oral surgeon who conducted a biopsy that confirmed it was cancer. So, i THEN I went to yet another oral surgeon who specializes in cancer for a second opinion, and, after reviewing the biopsy, confirmed it was, indeed, cancer. Further, my friend's husband is head of the hospital the second doctor works in -- I doubt I would have gotten in to see him otherwise -- and it's not likely that he would misdiagnose or take advantage of me given my friendship with his boss. And, to clarify, I work for myself, and am fortunate that I have good insurance, but I am not financially stable. I'm an artist, and I am as broke as most artists.

And I agree with the poster upstream who said that a full tongue and getting rid of the cancer through radiation and chemo is better than half a tongue, but chemo and radiation have their problems too. It would be likely that I will lose my teeth. Further, if drugs and chemo don't work, then the tissue is destroyed too much to be able to reconstitute the tongue. (My cousin who is an oral surgeon just told me that.)

And...I am touched by many of your comments and thoughts on here. Really touched, thank you. And I love that Martha Graham quote, which I had not heard before, and, being an artist, of course I relate to it, because I, well, create. I have an appointment with the radiologist on Monday, and dear god please let me not have to have radiation.

Again, thank you for all the kind and supportive words.

by Anonymousreply 105September 14, 2018 3:12 PM

Oh lawd, the tongue cancer man and his supporters have the left the building. Very strange. Sort of like a one man show that shut down production.

by Anonymousreply 106September 16, 2018 9:03 PM

R106, are you envious that people showed concern and compassion for OP?

by Anonymousreply 107September 16, 2018 9:28 PM

Hey, OP here. Thanks for someone bumping this. I was going to, but it seemed too selfish. I am seeing my GP tomorrow to get some anti anxiety drugs that I can take until the operation, which hasn't been schedule, but will be in the next week or two. I see the radiologist Monday afternoon to find out if I need radiation. Dear god, I hope not. I can deal with the pain from the operation, because there are ways to manage pain, but being lethargic and sore for longer due to the radiation might push me over the edge. Say prayers, please.

by Anonymousreply 108September 16, 2018 10:10 PM

My mom had radiation on brain tumors (metastases from lung cancer). I think she was relatively OK right after the radiation treatments. I thought it was chemo that made you feel horrible.

by Anonymousreply 109September 16, 2018 10:15 PM

Good luck, OP.

You'll come out of this fine.

by Anonymousreply 110September 16, 2018 10:17 PM

OP, you are young. Remember this is temporary. Suicide is permanent. Although, it’s a viable choice that I know you are taking seriously. Although, just think you could join a support group gain friends and maybe find a lover. I was in your same boat last year after a very rare diagnoses and I have been through 20 surgeries; I had enough. I even had a plan too. Although, I’m so happy I chose to withstand the temporary inconvenience to learn to live fully again. Maybe I won’t live a full life with my injuries, but I have adjusted to a new way of life. I wake up and realize there are a lot of people dealing with worse issues than myself. I do not want to make this about me, although I completely understand your dilemma. Remember this too shall pass. Where abouts do you live?

by Anonymousreply 111September 16, 2018 10:25 PM

R109 -- Chemo makes you feel worse than radiation, for sure, but radiation also makes you tired, and, because its target will be soft tissue like my tongue, it will feel like my mouth it on fire. it will also delay recovery for a month, because of the length of the treatment.

R111 -- I'm so sorry! I hope that your illness will not compromise your life too much. I hope your healing will be as complete as possible. I'm sorry. I live in Nashville, and, thankfully, there are some world-class hospitals here.

by Anonymousreply 112September 16, 2018 11:01 PM

What r111 and others said.

First, you are likely more loved than you will ever know. If not, you have yourself. Hope you are at peace with that.

Going to share my cancer experience... beware.

I "had" (it came back) colorectal cancer. And after three major surgeries, part of my rectum is now bovine cardiac muscle. Am lucky to have had the colostomy bag removed after a year of dealing with that. I'm 57 and happen to do oncology research in the lab for a living. I chop up tumors from mice and study the immune cells that are supposed to kill the tumor cells. Yes, the irony. It's been a slow-moving train wreck. I could feel the tumor growing in my ass and the pain was horrific for a year, yet it took going through multiple specialists to diagnose what was finally revealed in a CT scan to be a lemon-sized tumor. If someone told me about all this, I'd have shot myself dead. Especially in old age, life is full of indignities. Unlike what others claimed, "quack" doctors rarely perform unnecessary surgeries because there are teams of insurers inspecting their every move. I no longer eat mammals.

Because I get a colonoscopy every six months, my relapse was discovered early and is treatable. I'm lucky to have a great job with health insurance, a supportive medical team, and a few good friends. My surgeon is well aware that I am a power bottom.

To be honest, tongue cancer sounds gross to me. Go figure. I wish you the best outcome possible and hope you are able to laugh under all circumstances. Sending hugs out to Nashville from Northern California.

by Anonymousreply 113September 16, 2018 11:43 PM

R108 I shall continue to pray for you OP. I hope others heed your request too, even if they ordinarily don't.

by Anonymousreply 114September 17, 2018 1:20 AM

OP, let us know what happened on Monday at the doctor's. Bump the thread if necessary.

by Anonymousreply 115September 17, 2018 4:30 AM

Treatable and beatable, OP. Must be so hard to comprehend and scary, too. The feeding tube and trach are nessary, but temporary. . I send you a hug and I wish you the best.

by Anonymousreply 116September 17, 2018 4:46 AM

OP. good to heat you're taking anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs. I have a friend who's battling metastasized cancer and the drugs help him cope. His prognosis isn't as good as yours, though, but the drugs are helping him to relax and rest.

Best wishes to you. It will be rough for a while but the chances look good for coming out the other side as a healthy person.

by Anonymousreply 117September 17, 2018 5:51 PM

Best wishes OP. You can do it!

by Anonymousreply 118September 17, 2018 5:54 PM

I wouldn't trust my cancer to anyone but the DL.

by Anonymousreply 119September 17, 2018 5:54 PM

OP here. The appointment with the radiologist is this afternoon. I hope I don't need to have radiation.

And...R119, you made me laugh. I also can't thank all of you enough for the kind words and support. You did, indeed, talk me down from the height of anxiety. Thank you. I will keep you all updated. Again: thank you.

by Anonymousreply 120September 17, 2018 6:03 PM

OP, all the encouraging posts here from/about people who've successfully faced a similar situations makes me feel better about what you're facing. Seriously, all the best to you!

by Anonymousreply 121September 17, 2018 6:09 PM

OP give us an update.

by Anonymousreply 122September 18, 2018 2:51 AM

R122 oops, you did.

by Anonymousreply 123September 18, 2018 2:52 AM

This thread is an insult to people that really have tongue cancer.

by Anonymousreply 124September 18, 2018 2:54 AM

R124 stop with your weird delusional and paranoid thinking.

by Anonymousreply 125September 18, 2018 2:56 AM

OP here. I met with the radiologist this afternoon. I was supposed to find out if I need radiation, but I did not. The radiologist told me that she and her colleagues were discussing the best course of action on my case, and suggested I be included in a clinical trial for a tumor-reducing drug. I do not have all the information because I need to meet with the doctor in charge of the trial, but they are testing to see if the drug -- I know the name of it, but I don't know if it is a secret trial, so I probably shouldn't say the name here -- will kill or reduce cancerous tumors. It's a four week trial. If it works, I will still have to have surgery at the end of four weeks, but it will be less severe than it would otherwise be, and I probably wouldn't need radiation. She also said that it is likely to kill any cells that might have split from my tongue and found their way to other parts of my body, which I did not realize was an issue. I need to find out more about this drug, but I am leaning towards doing it. What do I have to lose? Maybe I will get lucky and it will kill many of the tumors.

And R124 -- what have I said that would lead you to believe that my illness is not real? There are some things one should never joke or invent stories about, and that list would include death and illness.

by Anonymousreply 126September 18, 2018 3:09 AM

Unfortunately, OP, cancer metastasizes. If the drug decreases this likelihood, then it's worth taking, even if it does not address the cancer directly.

by Anonymousreply 127September 18, 2018 3:21 AM

Agreed R127. There are studies regarding statins reducing metastasis in many cancers too. There are many additional things one can try, or add to the plan suggested by your oncologist. I like the idea of eating a Macrobiotic diet and following the protocol advised by The Kushi Institute alongside conventional chemo. Essiac tea, and many other alternative modalities can be used in conjunction together.

by Anonymousreply 128September 18, 2018 3:55 AM

OP,/R126, you're a liar. This thread reads like a bad piece of fiction.

by Anonymousreply 129September 18, 2018 11:02 AM

R129. There is something wrong with you if you believe that someone would lie about something like this.

by Anonymousreply 130September 18, 2018 1:43 PM

OP, where is today's update?? You've been able to find warmth and comfort here. It's very selfish of you to not keep people up to date.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 131September 20, 2018 2:36 AM

OP here. I didn't want to hog the threads, so I didn't post updates. I really appreciate your asking. I'm touched. Thank you. I've decided to be part of the drug trial. In order to be included, though, they have to do a bunch of blood work. It seems they need to make sure my liver and kidneys are good, and that I have never had hepatitis. I'm good on all counts; I had a major physical earlier this year, and all the labs came back good. They they have to another biopsy. I am dreading that in the extreme. The biopsy I had that determined I had cancer was the most painful experience I've ever had in my life. They are not using anesthesia, because that would require hospitalization, so it will just be a local numbing. Im anxious, I'll admit it. I will be at the hospital all morning until the afternoon. Monday, I will get the results of the lab work, and get the infusion of the test drug; it's administered via IV. Wish me luck. I'm nervous, but hopeful the new drug will kill a lot of the tumors.

I really am touched by response. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 132September 20, 2018 2:46 AM

Good luck OP. You're in good hands. My aunt took part in a cancer drug trial some years ago and is cancer free now and doing great.

by Anonymousreply 133September 20, 2018 2:50 AM

Good luck, OP. Please keep us posted.

You are one of us and even in all the bitchieness, we still look out for our own.

by Anonymousreply 134September 20, 2018 2:59 AM

Best to you OP for your complete healing!

by Anonymousreply 135September 20, 2018 3:22 AM

I've been dealing with cancer for 20+ years. It can be done. I'm 76 now so cancer or old age will be taking me soon. just for the heck of it, get a pet and be needed. They are wonderful love sponges and worth their weight in gold.

Best of outcomes to you.

by Anonymousreply 136September 20, 2018 3:33 AM

Op--In a trial like that, isn't there a chance you'll just get a placebo?

by Anonymousreply 137September 20, 2018 3:40 AM

Hey, OP. I just want to tell you good luck. Sending good vibes your way.

Don't off yourself, please. You may not think you have a lot of close friends, or dependents, but you have a lot of people who would be utterly devastated.

by Anonymousreply 138September 20, 2018 4:04 AM

Lol, you're not "hogging the threads," far from it. I, for one, would like to hear updates.

by Anonymousreply 139September 20, 2018 7:12 AM

OP here. Im about to head to the hospital to start the blood work and have the biopsy. Two things. I am touched beyond words. Thank you. And to the person who asked if I can get a placebo: No, there is no chance. The test is to see if a drug that has been proven to work but has not yet been approved works more effectively when combined with another drug. So..it's like getting an ice cream sundae, or a sundae with a cherry on top. Both test groups will improve, but one has the potential to improve a little more. Of course I hope for the latter, but am thankful for being included at all. They tell you which group you are in, but you are selected randomly. I don't know which one I am in. I could find that out today, or on Monday, when I start the test.

by Anonymousreply 140September 20, 2018 12:49 PM

OP, has your case gone before a tumor board?

Wishing you well.

by Anonymousreply 141September 20, 2018 5:40 PM

OP this is r57. I am so glad you are going through treatment and I wish you the very best. Please avail yourself of psychological support. Blessings and lots of good wishes

by Anonymousreply 142September 20, 2018 5:53 PM

Godspeed, OP!

We are all pulling for you.

Please keep us updated!!

by Anonymousreply 143September 20, 2018 6:59 PM

OP here. Yes, R141, my case has gone before a tumor board, which is why they asked me if I wanted to participate in the drug trial. Im not quite sure what the criteria is for being accepted.

I had blood taken today to make sure my kidney and liver functions are good, and I will have the drug infusion on Monday. They took TWO biopsies from my tongue today as part of the study, and I have never been in this much pain in my life, The weird thing is, my ear hurts as much as my tongue. The pain is absolutely unbearable, and, thankfully, they switched me from hydrocodone to oxy. I took them, but they have not started working. This is the worst pain I've ever had in my life. I don't know how I can deal with this level painful the two months or so that it will take to heal. I guess we do what we have to do.

The kind words and concern on here help more than I can tell you. Thank you all.

by Anonymousreply 144September 20, 2018 8:23 PM

OP, agreeing to the drug trial was a good decision. It seems to me from the tone of your (written) voice that you want your body to heal. This is all very positive.

There may be a hard few months ahead of you, but you will be fine in the end, which is all that matters. You can always come here to complain when/if it gets a bit rough. There are still some people capable of compassion left here.

You'll be fine.

by Anonymousreply 145September 20, 2018 8:35 PM

OP, since January of this year, I have gone through a large bowel obstruction caused by a cancerous tumor in my sigmoid colon; an emergency surgical procedure to stick a stent up my ass to clear the obstruction and let my colon "decompress"; laparoscopic surgery to remove my sigmoid colon (no bag necessary, thank god); coronary artery spasms induced by rare side effect of one of my chemo drugs; seven more rounds of chemo (minus the cardio culprit drug, which also happens to be the "backbone" drug in colon cancer treatment) that failed when the cancer spread to my peritoneal cavity; a PET scan and laparoscopic biopsy to dx the aforementioned situation; and 5 rounds (so far) of a new chemo regimen. After one more round, I will, I hope, be having a freakish major surgery/chemo called HIPEC to remove the metastases in my abdomen and bathe the area directly with a heated chemo solution. After that, I'll do another 6 rounds of IV chemo and then I hope to hell to put this shit behind me.

Before all this happened, I too would have said I might rather just die than go through it, but have been surprised at how much I can tolerate when I just put my head down and deal with a step at a time. If the cancer recurs after my final round of chemo, however, I will be reevaluating exactly how much more treatment I think is worth it.

Anyway, good luck to you—and r62, your story is very encouraging to hear; thanks.

by Anonymousreply 146September 20, 2018 11:00 PM

OP again. Wow, R146. I am so sorry you are going through that. I don't think any of us know how much we can handle until we're called upon to handle it. You have been incredibly strong and brave so far, so, here's hoping that strength does not leave you. I am wishing you the best.

by Anonymousreply 147September 20, 2018 11:15 PM

to OP, good luck. Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery for you! Please keep us posted, I've tagged this post as "watched" and will keep looking up for updates. Cheers! I'm an atheist, so no God stuff

by Anonymousreply 148September 21, 2018 2:16 AM

I will be tense and uncomfortable until you report your horrendous pain has subsided. The very best of pain relief is hoped for you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 149September 21, 2018 2:45 AM

Doef it mak yo spichh soun funnnue?

Mien doff.

by Anonymousreply 150September 21, 2018 2:53 AM

I took oxies, and the pain subsided, R149. It is still there, mind you, but it is bearable. Thanks for the sweet post.

by Anonymousreply 151September 21, 2018 3:22 AM

R150 I wish I could hurt you just for a bit, and I'm not ordinarily a violent person.

by Anonymousreply 152September 21, 2018 3:39 AM

I hope you can get some grass OP. It may not take the pain away, but certainly can help make you less aware of it. Still praying for you too!

by Anonymousreply 153September 21, 2018 3:41 AM

[quote]I am wishing you the best.

Same to you, OP!

by Anonymousreply 154September 21, 2018 3:46 AM

Thank you for sharing your story, R146. I'm sending healing thoughts to both you and OP.

by Anonymousreply 155September 21, 2018 4:20 AM

The thing with surgeries is that the anticipation is horrible. All the darkest thoughts about terrifying outcomes and the painful recovery are all that you can think about. And, yes, it is bad and is going to be painful but the recovery will go by quicker than you think. You'll look back on it much differently than you are looking forward to it now. Think about where you'll be six months and six years after the surgery, not six hours or six days or six weeks.

Maybe establish a relationship with a support group now, before the surgery, so you have a group already in place when the surgery takes place and in the difficult time period directly following it.

by Anonymousreply 156September 21, 2018 4:32 AM

You're most welcome, R146, sorry for what you're going through, lamb, it's no picnic. However, R156 is 100% correct, the dread of chemo & surgery is worse than the actual events. I got along remarkably well with chemotherapy, the liver surgery was the worst, it's like a bad dream now, it's almost as if it happened to someone else.

by Anonymousreply 157September 21, 2018 5:26 AM

R1 My boyfriend passed away from esophageal cancer. He did surgery then radiation. He passed away after 7 months of treatment. He was a smoker when he was a teenager but hadn't smoked in decades.. everyone is different and I wish you good luck. My BF biggest complaint was he couldn't taste anything and he lost a lot of weight. The radiation is bad---some of the saddest days of my life was sitting in the clinic waiting room and watching the patients come in for treatment. You have to prepare yourself if you have never been thru it or known someone who has...Don't give up and I wish you luck.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 158September 21, 2018 5:58 AM

If you're taking pain killers, make sure you don't get constipated. Eat extra fiber, etc.

by Anonymousreply 159September 21, 2018 5:51 PM

R159. I can't eat anything other than pureed soup and milkshakes, R199. Even with the pain pills, it hurts too much to swallow. The doctor told me to take something called mira lax. I haven't picked it up yet, but I will do that stat. I didn't realize that the pills always constipate; it is the first time I've taken them. And ...how do people get hooked on these? They are making me tired, not high in any way. It is not a feeling that I would want to repeat. Is the feeling from the opioids different if they are not using their potency to counteract pain? I half expected to feel some euphoria from the pills, but I do not.

by Anonymousreply 160September 21, 2018 7:46 PM

OP, possibly you're taking pain killers that are time-released and that's why you're not feeling "high." Also, some people just don't like the feeling from pain killers. Obviously, lots of people do love the feeling. Yes, take the Miralax.

by Anonymousreply 161September 21, 2018 8:21 PM

Are you in a good medical-city? I hope so, that adds an extra degree of hope for some of us. Is the Oxy allowing you to sleep? I have prostate cancer and so far the pain has been minimal. I've been dealing with it for 18 years. 3 segments of radiation and 3 chemotherapies so far. Looks like it's about to get serious, but I'm quite old and hope to be able to rationalize the eventual outcome. I wish you well, I am so hoping your surgery removes all the cancerous tissues and you can live many more years cancer free.

by Anonymousreply 162September 22, 2018 4:20 AM

R162. I am in Nashville, which has world-class hospitals, and the operating doctor is nationally recognized and one of the best in his fields. That makes me feel a little more comfortable about it, but I am still nervous. The uncertainty of what awaits is what is most frightening. Will I still have to worry about the cancer coming back? Will I still have incredible pain? Will I feel like my tongue is a frankenstein tongue, and not be able to eat or talk properly? You just have to wonder if all the pain is worth the outcome, so I definitely understand what you mean, R162. Is it worth it? I am going to assume it is, for now, and R162, I will hope the same for you. Good luck. x

by Anonymousreply 163September 22, 2018 2:38 PM

OP you have to make the choice mentally to believe the outcome shall be good. Just keep telling yourself that, and visualise healing. There may be little proof they work, but try listening/meditating to 528Hz tones. Other allegedly healing Solfeggio frequencies are 963 Hz, and 432 Hz. I find they help me relax when trying to meditate, and often help me drift off to sleep. Try listening to some on YouTube. Some are pure tones, others are in a harmony. To answer one of your questions, many cancer survivors I know still worry even after years of remission that it may return. This too I think is an area where it is very important to try to control one's thoughts.

by Anonymousreply 164September 22, 2018 2:48 PM

You're sounding pretty good, OP. Excellent

by Anonymousreply 165September 22, 2018 3:04 PM

OP,

I recently went through a bad case of pharyngitis. My tongue turned colors. I have suffered irritation. I chalked it up to the illness and the medication. I have a couple of bubble-shaped spots. I have used medium warm water with salt. My doctor instructed me to take B Complex (with Vitamin C). She says it will go away in a few days. But, I am watching it.

This topic has been on my mind. You, OP, happened to post it. I am very sorry you are experiencing this. I wish you the best that is possible.

Please take good care of yourself.

by Anonymousreply 166September 22, 2018 3:23 PM

I am not used to this level of concern and kindness from here, and, frankly, I am overwhelmed. The kindness - and some of your own stories about fighting cancer and other illnesses -- have given me strength and hope. Thank you, all. I will continue to update. Thanks again.

OP

by Anonymousreply 167September 22, 2018 4:43 PM

Look at it this way. You'll never be this young again and you wouldn't want to face this in your old age. You can only worry and fret while you're alive. What is going to be is beyond anyone's control. Fear, sadness even pain along with happiness and joy are functions of being alive. If we cave in when we face a real challenge, then we haven't learned very much about life. Even if all of your worst concerns turn out to be true, you will only know this by staying alive. Give yourself a chance to enjoy the rewards of a successful operation. Do all that you can to remain positive, Zen, yoga etc. Last, you know deep down there are others in even worse circumstances that are far less well equipped to deal with these medical terrors than one's self. Whatever the end results, you will feel good knowing you did your best. This why so many of us go into programs helping others when we finally recover. You know just here on DL, if you didn't fight the good fight, we'd be sad beyond description.

by Anonymousreply 168September 22, 2018 10:26 PM

OP here. I had the first infusion this afternoon. They hooked me up to an IV, and it took an hour. I felt nothing. There are, thankfully, no expected side effects. I will have another infusion in two weeks, and I will have the surgery roughly two weeks after that. The drug is an immune booster, so, hopefully, it will kill some of the cells and tumors.

Again, folks, your kind words and concern helped get me through this. I can not thank you enough.

by Anonymousreply 169September 25, 2018 2:27 AM

Good news, OP. I wondered if the infusion might bring on any peculiar feelings. So, good. I thought about you today which surprised me a bit because I'm typically a grouchy old bastard.

by Anonymousreply 170September 25, 2018 2:32 AM

Eddie Van Halen had it and survived.

by Anonymousreply 171September 25, 2018 2:35 AM

Good to hear, OP. I'm glad for you.

by Anonymousreply 172September 25, 2018 3:02 AM

Thanks for the update, OP. There are some of us here who hear you (well, read you) and wish you well.

by Anonymousreply 173September 25, 2018 3:10 AM

R170. The infusion itself didn't bring on any particular feeling, but being in the hospital did. Everyone else in the waiting room or in the small rooms where the infusions are given were with a husband or wife, etc. I was the only person there who was by himself. That made me feel a little lonely and unloved and unmoored. I live in Nashville, and do not have many friends here, or at least none that I feel close enough to ask them to go to the hospital with me. Most of my close friends live in NYC. My mom and sister, at least, are coming down for the operation and post-op, but, until then, I am on my own, and that does get me down a little, which is why your kind words on here mean a lot to me.

by Anonymousreply 174September 25, 2018 3:16 AM

OP, R174 , I live away from my family and my closest friend. I probably would end up doing treatments alone, as well (if I had to do treatments). Don't let it stop you. Plan for something at least a little bit fun afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 175September 25, 2018 3:24 AM

Stay strong OP. I'm sorry you feel alone in there. Next time bring your phone or tablet if you can and come here to "talk" with us. Thinking only good thoughts for you.

by Anonymousreply 176September 25, 2018 3:26 AM

That 's a great idea.

by Anonymousreply 177September 25, 2018 3:34 AM

If I lived in Nashville I'd bring you some apple juice, OP.

by Anonymousreply 178September 25, 2018 3:34 AM

^ I mean, to the hospital.

by Anonymousreply 179September 25, 2018 4:33 AM

OP, I'm glad your infusion was uneventful. I get mine at my oncologist's office, and though I like her, the facilities where she and her partners practice are bizarrely disgusting. The infusion rooms are so small and cramped that you really can't bring a friend/family member in there; the upside of this is that you don't need to feel weird or sad about being there alone. Anyway, bring yourself some snacks and a trashy novel or an iPad for watching movies (and posting on Datalounge) next time. And cultivate a relationship with the nurses! I love the nurses who work at my oncologist's office. They've all been doing oncology nursing for a bazillion years and frankly, they're a better resource than the doctors when you've got a question about drug interactions, how to deal with an annoying side effect, what's okay to eat and drink while on chemo, etc. Plus, they are all really interesting and lovely humans whom I genuinely look forward to seeing when I get an infusion.

by Anonymousreply 180September 25, 2018 5:52 AM

OP, hang in there! Good luck with everything. Sending positive thoughts your way.

by Anonymousreply 181September 25, 2018 5:54 AM

Yes, r176, that is a terrific idea. Just know that we are here for you, OP, despite the snark.

by Anonymousreply 182September 25, 2018 11:40 AM

Threads like this are why I love the DL.

Sending best wishes and hopes for speedy recoveries to the OP and all the other posters dealing with cancer.

by Anonymousreply 183September 25, 2018 12:33 PM

OP here. I agree with you, R183. The outpouring of kind words and support is very moving and more than appreciated. I work for and by myself, so I don't have those moments during the day when I can saunter in to the cafeteria to hear idle gossip, or what movie or book is worth checking out, so this site is, essentially, my coffee klatch. Sometimes it is harsh, but sometimes -- like this thread -- it is lifesaving. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 184September 25, 2018 3:59 PM

OP - wishing you all the best. Please keep us posted. You may be "alone" physically, but all us DLer's are there for you in spirit.

by Anonymousreply 185September 30, 2018 4:32 PM

OP, so when's your next infusion? Don't forget your tablet!

by Anonymousreply 186September 30, 2018 5:42 PM

My next infusion is a week from tomorrow. I have to go back two times after that to see if the infusions had any effect, and, then, surgery. I will certainly bring my iPad with me.!

by Anonymousreply 187September 30, 2018 6:35 PM

OP, I assume your oncologist has given you a prescription for anti-nausea medication. If you feel the slightest twinge of nausea, take it immediately.

by Anonymousreply 188September 30, 2018 7:44 PM

Is it from rimming ?

by Anonymousreply 189September 30, 2018 7:46 PM

Hi, OP, glad you checked in again. I'm watching this thread. Feel free to post between infusions. I'm wishing you the best.

by Anonymousreply 190September 30, 2018 9:16 PM

No, R189. Nor is it from HPV. It is the kind that smokers get, but I have never smoked. It is just bad luck that I got it. I have not gotten anti-nausea meds, R188. The only time I felt nauseous was when they numbed my tongue to take the biopsies. That was the worst feeling I've ever had. I felt nauseous and sick and it was incredibly painful. I shall ask for anti nausea pills, though, in case it happens again. I have Xanax, in case I have a panic attack, which, thankfully, I have not. I'm sure I will panic once I come out of surgery and have breathing and feeding tubes. I don't care what anybody says, I can't imagine getting used to either. The breathing tube will be in for just a week, I think, but the feeding tube will be in for up to two months. The thought of it freaks me out. The silver lining, I suppose is that I will lose a lot of weight!

by Anonymousreply 191September 30, 2018 10:08 PM

OP here. For those who have suffered through something similar: did you take anti depressants? My GP prescribed Lexipro, and suggested I take it for about six months, just to get through the surgery and post-op. I am somewhat melancholic and reflective by nature, but not depressed, and would otherwise not need them. I am also not having a crisis now and thinking "why me!!"; I realize bad stuff happens for no reason, and we do the best we can to sail through it. So..I don't have that depression and hopelessness that others might have in the same situation. That's not to say I'm no anxious -- of course I am, I realize that this will be a horrible and painful ordeal -- but I'm not depressed about it . So, my question to others who have gone through something similar: did you take anti-depressants? do you think they are necessary? did you suffer depression when you did not expect to? Thank you, as always, for your insight and kind words.

by Anonymousreply 192October 1, 2018 3:10 PM

OP I cared for my adult brother who endured 5 cancer surgeries over 18 months. BTW he is still alive 21 years later.

He had a very slight panic attack during the first night of his surgery. (Tumor was in his sinus and his face was packed with cotton and gauze) It was in the middle of the night so I suggest you have someone sleep next to your bed that first night. Recliners and blankets are almost always available

I attribute his attack to his reluctance to hit the pain med button in his hand. He wanted as little drugs in his system as possible which I believe was an error in judgement. I hit the button a few times for him, he got pissed and the attack passed quickly.

He took no anti-depressants even though on a few occasions he sounded pretty down. That passed.

Hope this info is helpful in some way.

by Anonymousreply 193October 1, 2018 9:38 PM

It is helpful, R193. The doctors have told me that I will be pretty much out of it and they will induce sleep for five days, just so I won't use my tongue at all, and to give the extreme pain some time to pass. While I'm nervous about being incapacitated for five days, I'm thankful that I won't be alert for the brunt of the pain. My mom and my sister will be here for the surgery and for a little bit post-op to make sure I'm ok. My sister can be a bit demanding, so I'm sure she will run the nurses ragged!

I am also reluctant to take any drugs that aren't completely necessary, but I have come to realize that all pain medications are necessary in this case, so will take whatever they give me. The hospital seems to be quite good about managing pain. I think I will probably take the anti-depressants, because, although I don't need them right now, I just might need them immediately after surgery, and they take quite a while for them to be effective. I do dislike the idea of taking drugs, though. Thanks for sharing your and your brother's experience, R193

by Anonymousreply 194October 1, 2018 9:59 PM

Due to the amount of time it takes to kick in (become effective), I think it's smart to take the medication before you really need it.

by Anonymousreply 195October 1, 2018 10:56 PM

Wow, interesting Antidepressants are being used in this manner. I hadn't a clue this was a routine part of planning ahead for the treatment. I hope this gives you some added courage OP, it seems like a nice insurance policy, so to speak.

by Anonymousreply 196October 2, 2018 8:20 AM

Thank you for your updates, OP. We're here for you.

by Anonymousreply 197October 2, 2018 11:39 AM

OP here. I don't know if anti depressants are a standard part of the treatment, but I thought it would be best if I got ahead of it, so I asked my GP to prescribe some. I do not know if the cancer doctors would have prescribed it on their own. I also asked my GP for the Xanax, but I am certain to have some panic attacks!

by Anonymousreply 198October 2, 2018 2:06 PM

^^because I am certain, rather.

by Anonymousreply 199October 2, 2018 2:46 PM

Yeah, back up Xanax is a good idea just in case. Hell, everybody should have it in their home just in case.

Have you taken antidepressants in the past, OP?

by Anonymousreply 200October 2, 2018 3:03 PM

OP here. I took Celexa for about two months, maybe ten years ago. I was going through a rough time, both financially and emotionally, and my sister helped me out under the condition that I see a therapist and take an anti depressant until I felt better. She helped me a lot, so it would have been churlish to not accept her rules, so I did. I didn't care for how it felt; nothing felt urgent. My dog could pee on the floor, and I would just think, well, that's ok. (Not that he DID pee on the floor, but it was an example that came to mind.) I stopped taking it after a few months, but it was long enough to get past a rough spot.

by Anonymousreply 201October 2, 2018 3:14 PM

OP, how are you doing?

by Anonymousreply 202October 8, 2018 3:26 AM

You're kind to ask, R202. I go to the hospital for my second infusion tomorrow, and a bunch of other meetings. Having the tumors on my tongue make it impossible to eat anything other than pureed soup, so it's making me look forward to the surgery, almost, just so I can start eating again. I know it will be quite a while before I can eat anything, but, man, that pizza is going to taste fantastic!!!

by Anonymousreply 203October 8, 2018 3:44 AM

Pizza! LOL!! Now, there's a strong visual you should hold on to as you heal and get back to your old self, r203. Glad you are keeping us posted and you are to be commended for being so focused and diligent and positive!

"Mental attitude is everything" - something a friend of mine said a few years ago and I never forgot it.

by Anonymousreply 204October 8, 2018 4:01 AM

Look into CBD oil OP. I recently read some promising studies regarding the anti-cancer qualities. I hope you are having good homemade soups and shakes. Do you have a blender or Cuisinart? Try some better baby food varieties of fruits and vegetables too.

by Anonymousreply 205October 8, 2018 4:21 AM

[quote]Look into CBD oil OP.

I second that. I'm taking it for insomnia and it has turned my life around. Including anxiety.

by Anonymousreply 206October 8, 2018 4:24 AM

The support here is heartwarming - I'll add mine to the chorus.

OP, you sound a bit like me... isolationist but still desiring some contact. When I'm really feeling down (or in pain), I take a perverse comfort in thinking that all moments pass, and deal with the present as a temporary situation. Wishing you all the best.

by Anonymousreply 207October 8, 2018 4:34 AM

OP here. I never think to look at better-quality baby food. That is an excellent idea, R205. I am getting so tired of having just the soup I make and puree. I use a blender, by the way.

You guys are reading my mind! A friend of mine owns a pet store, and she carries human-grade oil, and I got some. I just got some. Damn, it tastes nasty, but here's hoping it works.

by Anonymousreply 208October 8, 2018 4:44 AM

Cheers OP ... Why not try puréed pizza too? I know people who have had oral surgeries and even put Big Macs & fries in their food processor or blenders.. It may look weird, but close your eyes! You have to keep your strength up.

by Anonymousreply 209October 8, 2018 4:55 AM

Here's a link to a Carrot and Cauliflower Puree recipe, OP.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 210October 8, 2018 5:09 AM

Just thought canned pumpkin or even the pie filling might be an easy satisfying snack too. I remember trying it plain when I tried to give it to my dog for sickness. He didn't eat it all, and didn't want to waste it. I was pleasantly surprised how good it was. I haven't tried the ready-made filling, but bet it is even better.

by Anonymousreply 211October 8, 2018 5:16 AM

How about CARAMEL PUMPKIN PIE Milkshake OP?

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by Anonymousreply 212October 8, 2018 5:20 AM

That looks delicious and nutritious R212.

by Anonymousreply 213October 8, 2018 5:26 AM

Can you have yogurt, OP?

by Anonymousreply 214October 8, 2018 5:53 AM

Good luck tomorrow, OP. Sending you hugs from Canada.

by Anonymousreply 215October 8, 2018 6:22 AM

Wishing you well today, OP! Hope it's as pain- and stress-free as possible.

by Anonymousreply 216October 8, 2018 5:40 PM

OP here. That pumpkin milk shake does look awesome. To a poster upthread: I, too , had some canned pumpkin on hand because my dog was constipated, and the vet told me that canned pumpkin is the best thing for that. I got a few cans of it left, and he went back to regular. I ended up putting the leftover cans in soup, and it tasted great. Without the spices you would for a pie, it tasted a little bit like butternut squash. I have since used it again. If I want to eat anything that has more body than a thicker broth, I have to take a few oxycodone about an hour before; otherwise, the pain is excruciating. I don't want to take any more oxies than I absolutely have to, so I've been mostly sticking to broth and heavily pureed soup and those horrible ensure drinks, which have so much sugar in them! I shall be leaving for the infusion in a few minutes. That part does not upset, but I will admit that it's the going there alone, and waiting in the waiting room alone is what does bother me. So..your good wishes and concern are a tremendous comfort. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 217October 8, 2018 6:00 PM

Suicide is always an option

BUT shouldn't be your first thought. My opinion is to go through the procedure & see how things go. You state that you are in good health otherwise. There are many people who are in worst shape and would trade with you. PLEASE, give the procedure a try. You can always pull the plug but wouldn't it be a pity if you did and it the operation might well have been the panacea for your condition ?

My Best Wishes For Your Recovery OP ...........

by Anonymousreply 218October 8, 2018 6:06 PM

You're in great spirits, OP! It would be annoying only drinking liquids but I hope you are keeping that delicious pizza image as a visual for The Day. Thank you for your note - not much longer before your mother and sister can meet with up. Take care OP!

by Anonymousreply 219October 8, 2018 6:10 PM

Oh, and another vote for baby food! Some of the fruit flavors/combinations are really tasty.

Also: ice creams, gelatos and sorbets left to soften a bit.

Clearly, I have "dessert options" on the brain...

by Anonymousreply 220October 8, 2018 6:13 PM

You are not alone, OP!

by Anonymousreply 221October 8, 2018 6:25 PM

I'll be thinking about you today, OP. It's not the same as having someone waiting for you at the hospital, but know that you are a receiver of positive thoughts.

by Anonymousreply 222October 8, 2018 6:31 PM

How did it go, OP?

by Anonymousreply 223October 8, 2018 9:59 PM

Pumpkin Spice Smoothie recipe, OP. I might even do this one myself!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 224October 8, 2018 10:02 PM

OP here. As always, thank you for your thoughts and kind wishes. Infusion day is tough, because I have to go from one exam to another, and have all these diagnostics and questions and blood work, because the drug is still a trial, they have to be thorough about it. After they do what they have to do, I sit there for an hour for the infusion. I was so worn out by the time they started the IV, that I fell asleep immediately, and didn't wake up until it was over. I then went home, sat on the couch..and fell asleep. I am so tired, which could be because of the medication, or just being overwhelmed by it all. I still don't have a date for surgery. The doctor I want to use is on vacation, so I have to wait until he gets back. The hospital suggested I use one of his partners, but I would prefer the lead doctor with the great reputation to do it, even if that means a few more weeks of pain. Thanks again for your thoughts. They mean the world to me .

by Anonymousreply 225October 9, 2018 4:17 AM

Thanks for the update OP... I have been keeping younin my mind and prayers. Try to eat as much as you can now, as the effects of the chemo are cumulative; the first few rounds are always easier. I'm not sure if you are having sensitivity to temp/heat, but also wanted to suggest some cans of vichyssoise... Dominique's is great, and you can just take them out of the fridge and enjoy. I always keep them on hand for the summer. They are very filling and satisfying. If it's too thick, just thin with a bit of cream or milk. Carnation Instant Breakfast shake mixes are so much better than Ensure or Boist. Try to stock up on those too. If you are worried about getting enough protein, get some muscle milk protein powders and those with ice cream. (I like the coffe flavoured ones... they do contain caffeine) Peanut butter emulsifies really well in smoothies/shakes too. I hope you are resting comfortably tonight.

by Anonymousreply 226October 9, 2018 5:03 AM

Thank you for your updates, OP, I'm glad to see that your spirits are stable.

There is peanut butter powder too, which mixes more easily than regular peanut butter.

by Anonymousreply 227October 9, 2018 5:13 AM

OP here. Wow, you guys are so tremendous and kind. Perhaps it is because I am tired and worn out, but I came this close to crying tonight after reading the kind words and suggestions. I was not expecting such amazing and selfless support and thoughtfulness, and I can't even begin to tell you how much it helps and comforts. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 228October 9, 2018 5:36 AM

OP here yet again!! I just scheduled surgery for November 9. The operating surgeon is on vacation for a few weeks, and the hospital suggested that I have one of his partners perform it, but I would rather have the top dog perform it so I chose to wait. What's a few more weeks of absolute agony?!? Thanks again for all your kind thoughts and suggestions. You have no idea how much I appreciate them.

by Anonymousreply 229October 9, 2018 3:28 PM

I'm praying for you...

by Anonymousreply 230October 9, 2018 4:20 PM

Best of luck to you OP...

by Anonymousreply 231October 9, 2018 4:21 PM

Best best best to you OP

by Anonymousreply 232October 9, 2018 4:35 PM

Good luck OP, you made the right decision.

by Anonymousreply 233October 9, 2018 4:40 PM

That monkeywrench thrown into your plans suck OP! I was pissed because my eye doctor just cancelled my appointment because she's going on maternity leave early, but after reading about your delay, I have no cause to complain.

Stay strong, we're all pulling for you.

by Anonymousreply 234October 9, 2018 4:42 PM

I have now pencilled November 9th in to my diary to be with you in spirit. Take care! Oh and give that pumpkin milkshake a shot too. Sounds delish.

by Anonymousreply 235October 9, 2018 5:32 PM

Good idea to wait for the chief, OP. This will also reduce you apprehension. You're nearly there - time will whizz by and before you know it, out of surgery...and.....more ICE CREAM or....... Soup!

You've been tremendous OP - a bright little spark who just keeps on goin'. We're all behind you - wishing we could surround you and smother you with hugs. Make sure you try to keep up your strength (more shakes! more puree!) in advance of the operation. :))

by Anonymousreply 236October 9, 2018 5:37 PM

OP - have a friend who had a tongue replacement and she is doing great - it will take awhile for you to talk the same as before, but give it some time. My husband had nasopharygeal cancer and we went through this whole process. My tips: 1) DRUGS - be very careful taking homeopathic remedies without checking with your Dr.’s - there are some that can interfere with the effectiveness of your meds. SCREW this crap of “I don’t want to put drugs in my body”. That is caveman shit. TAKE THE MEDS. And MOST IMPORTANTLY with pain: get on a schedule and STICK TO IT RIGIDLY. You will end up putting more stress on your body and recovery if you roller coaster with your pain. You’ll have to figure out when to take and how much, and then set timers if you have to. Chemo will make your brain fuzzy so use a pill dispenser. Another trick is to turn the bottle upside down after you’ve taken the pill. This is exactly why we need oxy and fuck everyone who wants to limit getting more than 7 days at a time. This is truly what it’s for. 2) TELL PEOPLE: Your neighbors, friends, coworkers, etc. AND LET THEM HELP YOU. You are going to need help getting back and forth after surgery, and way more than just a week. You’ll want someone with you, even if you have to hire someone, DO IT. Your insurance may pay for this as well. When people say “whatever you need”, you may have to tell them EXACTLY what you need: please mow my lawn, please get me chicken soup, please come over, etc. Do it with neighbors and you will feel closer to them afterwards and they will feel less helpless. One of the upsides to this suffering is people who you thought never in a million years would step up, do, and its because they have gone through it with someone and know what to do. So, in this way, you can pay it forward and step up for someone after you’re cured. 3) FIGHT! When the Dr.’s say eat, EAT! When they say sleep SLEEP! Same with water - KEEP DRINKING. Keep your weight up as much as possible and help your kidneys and liver flush the toxins with water. Also, energy drinks like ensure with the high protein content are great when you’re too tired to make shakes. One of the toughest things I’ve seen is how much people actually miss eating real food when they’ve got a feeding tube. Before you get the tube, fight by eating and look at food as medicine. WHO CAREs if it doesn’t taste the same - get it down! 4) SUPPORT GROUPS - be careful with head and neck groups; they can be a very tough group to join and you may want to start with a general cancer survivors group as head and neck can be depressing and overwhelming - there are so many types of H/N and survival rates are all over the map. A cancer therapist one-on-one might be better, and they may be able to put you in touch with someone who has had tongue cancer who has recovered and is doing great. And for everyone else - if you don’t currently have HPV, GET THE VACCINE!!!! It’s never too late no matter how old you are. It’s called Guardasil and right now it’s only offered to 5th graders. HPV causes cervical cancer in women, and what they’re not emphasizing is that it caused HEAD AND NECK cancer in boys!!! GET THE SHOT!! It’s a series of three and so simple in preventing this miserable type of cancer. I went to a lecture on the latest treatments and techniques and talked to the lecturer - a leader in the field of H/N cancer and he told me he’s afraid there’s an epidemic coming. I’ve told my daughter who’s a junior in college to tell all her friends and I tell every young man I talk to. The great news, OP, is that you persevered and did not let your Dr.’s in the beginning just treat your symptoms (you took charge of your health) and you are going to live a very long life. Hang in there and fight! You are gonna do it!

by Anonymousreply 237October 9, 2018 5:43 PM

OP - Hang this sign beside you in the hospital recovery room. Could come in handy.

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by Anonymousreply 238October 9, 2018 5:50 PM

OP here. You have been more helpful than I can tell you. Now here's an odd request...I'm an artist, and want to send all those who have helped a small painting as a thank you. I have no idea how many people are responding on here -- is it 200? 20? 2? -- so I don't know how long it will take me to get it done, but please click the link and email me your address via the "contact" icon on my website. Is that weird? I hope not. It is the only way I can think of to thank you all.

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by Anonymousreply 239October 9, 2018 6:32 PM

OP, I am glad your latest infusion went okay and I think you are making the right decision to wait for the surgeon you prefer. It's one less thing to be anxious about, and if anything went awry with one of the other surgeons, you'd never stop kicking yourself. I'll probably be having surgery around mid-November myself, and will think of you on the 9th.

by Anonymousreply 240October 9, 2018 6:46 PM

OP again. There are so many others on here who are also in the midst of surgeries and their own illnesses, that I am touched that you took the time and effort to respond to my plight. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 241October 9, 2018 7:20 PM

op get a really good blender that can blend hot liquids.

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by Anonymousreply 242October 9, 2018 7:35 PM

OP if you are getting sick of all of the sweet stuff, bisque is your friend. I don't know your restaurant delivery options. But you can also find some in the canned section of better grocery stores. Add some heavy cream to thin it out a bit. You can also blend up some ripe avocados in cream, salt and pepper (if that doesn't irritate your mouth) and serve cold (soothing). Avocados are nutrition bombs so try and eat as many as you can. Saw your website. Love your art, and you are SO handsome! Sending healing vibes from California.

by Anonymousreply 243October 9, 2018 8:08 PM

OP, your art is FABULOUS!

And it will likely help keep you busy/keep your mind off things before your surgery (I hope) and during your recovery (once you're well enough to paint, of course).

I think you're 100% correct to wait for the surgeon you want. And November 9th will be here before you know it, so there won't be too much waiting around. Yay! Just think: by New Year's Day, you'll be almost two full months PAST the surgery!

I would suggest using the next few weeks to get yourself/your place ready for whatever you might need post-surgery if you can. Stock up on supplies and fill your fridge/freezer with liquid or purée-able food; maybe hire someone to come clean in the weeks immediately after your procedure; start browsing and bookmarking recovery-support groups; etc.

Congrats on nailing down a date! That has to be a weight off your mind. :-)

by Anonymousreply 244October 9, 2018 8:29 PM

OP, I remember you from a few years ago. You identified yourself, I believe, in a thread here about hobbies or artists or some such. I was very moved that you made yourself known to us, a very tough crowd. I have no words of wisdom for you, dear heart, beyond what my dear grandmother shared years ago: "By the yard, it's hard; by the inch, it's a cinch." Now is the time to reach out to those you may consider mere acquaintances; most of us are happy to be of help to people in your situation. You will be surprised at how many care for you. Don't worry about hogging the thread, or using us up, either. Post anytime, OP. We're pulling for and with you.

by Anonymousreply 245October 9, 2018 9:48 PM

OP, did you post in the "I found a kitty" thread? I'm the op of that thread and I'm sure I remember you offering your artwork to me there. I want you to know that I'm thinking about you and wish you all the best. I've thought of you so often because you and others were so kind to me when I really needed it most. Please give us some updates here when you can. Wishing you all the best! Love, Percy and me!

by Anonymousreply 246October 9, 2018 10:20 PM

OP I don't find it weird that you want to share your art, I think it is a very generous gesture. Nice work BTW! It's nice to have a name and a face when I pray for you too.

by Anonymousreply 247October 9, 2018 10:50 PM

OP if I lived near you I’d go with you to your dr’s appointments and mow your lawn too. And I love your pet portraits!

by Anonymousreply 248October 9, 2018 10:52 PM

Very charming art, I really enjoyed it. thanks for sharing!

Adding to some of the food recommendations you should try Cuban black beans. In many Latino countries, mothers will put the black beans into a blender to puree it and feed it to their babies. I grew up with it myself. Plus its now readily found canned in the Latino section of the supermarket or you can make it homemade, which of course is better tasting and healthier for you. So good luck with the treatment and the recovery.

by Anonymousreply 249October 9, 2018 11:36 PM

What a very thoughtful and kind gesture, OP at r239. Your art is so inspired and beautiful to behold! I will be sure to leave my details.

BTW, I'm the poster at r238. I hope you didn't take the "drug" image the wrong way. :))

by Anonymousreply 250October 10, 2018 2:29 AM

OP, you are adorable, and I am thinking of you! Keep chugging along.

by Anonymousreply 251October 10, 2018 3:40 AM

Op, your art is so cute! I would gladly pay for a pet portrait, none of this giving business for me.

And Percy's Human! Welcome back! How is your Furry Purry?

by Anonymousreply 252October 10, 2018 3:55 AM

Yes, Percy's human, I did, indeed post on that thread. I have a soft spot for animals.

by Anonymousreply 253October 10, 2018 3:57 AM

R245, OP here, yet again. I know this might be a weird thing to say, but I try to live my life in such a way that I don't have to hide or apologize for anything, which is why I didn't think twice about giving my information in the previous thread you read in which I did. I find it easier to not hide anything! And, seriously, guys, I would like to send you a modest painting to thank you, if you want one.

by Anonymousreply 254October 10, 2018 4:00 AM

OP! I remember your wonderful work. It was on a thread about making a living as an artist? Something like that. I loved your art then as now.

by Anonymousreply 255October 10, 2018 4:44 AM

OP -- [R102] here -- It's been less than a month since you first posted, and you have already come so far in such an amazing way.

My surgery was my first ever of any significance (LASIK and a very minor cyst excision were it up until that point), and it was my absolute first under a general anesthesia; but I think that when it came down to it, I was more nervous about oversleeping that morning than I was about the surgery itself. Fear of the unknown had turned into "Okay, let's get this shit out of me!" I, too, will be making a note of your surgery date and will be with you in spirit then as now, cheering you on.

by Anonymousreply 256October 10, 2018 5:11 AM

Best wishes OP. I'll be thinking of you as your surgery date approaches and will be pulling for you from afar.

by Anonymousreply 257October 10, 2018 5:17 AM

[quote]It's been less than a month since you first posted, and you have already come so far in such an amazing way.

Totally agree! And I'm so glad. As I've said before, threads like these -- and the posters who take part -- are why I love the DL.

Hope you have a good Wednesday, OP!

by Anonymousreply 258October 10, 2018 11:52 AM

OP here. Yes, people can be mean and snarky on this site, but there are some wonderful, caring, kind people who take the time and effort to show their concern, and that is a wonderful thing. I'm thankful that you found this thread, and I can't tell you how much your voices mean to me. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 259October 10, 2018 3:31 PM

To OP:

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by Anonymousreply 260October 10, 2018 4:05 PM

Hi again OP, R237 here. Please don’t stress about surgery. Surgery today is so routine now - and there are so many failsafes in place. I’ve had so many that now when I head into surgery it’s like, whew, I’m done with the pre-op and I can relax and I don’t have to worry about anything. It is so finely tuned that, for example, with one of my surgeries, they asked me if I was claustrophobic. I said yes, and they put my sleep medicine in my IV and I was out just as my gurney pushed open the door to the OR! (They did it this way so I wouldn’t panic with the mask over my face). (The mask is really no big deal, I’ve done that too). I would say, though, that if you are prone to motion sickness, let them know and they will give you some anti-nausea meds in your pre-op IV. That made the biggest difference in my post-op recovery. Up to that point, I just thought I didn’t tolerate surgery very well, but it was really just my motion sickness. They should mention it, but if they don’t, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Ask for what you need or for what you don’t understand. Challenge when you hear two diff. answers. Remember, medicine changes pretty radically every 1 to 2 years or so esp. w cancer, so if you’re referencing what you knew about cancer 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago, the advancements have been astronomical - in drugs, in surgery, techniques, protocol, everything. I have a friend who had throat cancer more than 10 years ago and he’s been back running marathons for a long time now. It’s is going to be tough, but I know you can do it. Hang in there and let us know how you’re doing. I appreciate your offer of your art, but I’m gonna be your mom here and tell you not to worry about that right now and save your strength until you’re back 100% (which could take awhile). Concentrate on you right now and get better! You’re gonna do great.

by Anonymousreply 261October 11, 2018 4:24 AM

Hope you had a great day OP. Keep us posted!

by Anonymousreply 262October 11, 2018 4:33 AM

Thinking of you, dear OP. Please check in when you feel like it. Someone's always home!

by Anonymousreply 263October 11, 2018 6:24 PM

You are in my prayers OP. I wish I was as brave as you about medical things.

by Anonymousreply 264October 11, 2018 7:55 PM

Happy Saturday, OP! Hope you're feeling OK and are enjoying the weekend.

by Anonymousreply 265October 13, 2018 12:52 PM

Hi OP - Drop us a line - let us know how it's all going ok?

by Anonymousreply 266October 13, 2018 7:28 PM

Love seeing your website and sending you the best wishes OP. I sent you vibes and prayers on Monday morning on my way to work, I hope you got them :)

by Anonymousreply 267October 13, 2018 7:31 PM

[quote]if you don’t currently have HPV, GET THE VACCINE!!!! It’s never too late no matter how old you are. It’s called Guardasil and right now it’s only offered to 5th graders.

Late last week the FDA approved making Gardasil 9, the vaccine to protect against human papillomavirus, available to women and men up to age 45. The vaccine had initially been rolled out to individuals ages 9 to 26.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 268October 13, 2018 7:33 PM

OP here. The last few days have been rough. I don't sleep well. The doctor prescribed Ambien, but I've only taken it it twice. It knocks me out a little too extremely. There must be something between getting sleep, and...that!

The pain is most extreme in the morning, and i nap on an off until about 4, and then I start to feel better for most of the rest of the night. I don't know why it hurts more in the mornings and early afternoons, and why that is when I am exhausted. I shall just carry on.

Thank you all for your thoughts. It does a boy good.

by Anonymousreply 269October 13, 2018 10:56 PM

Hang in there OP!

by Anonymousreply 270October 13, 2018 11:01 PM

Sending you hugs op.

by Anonymousreply 271October 14, 2018 12:10 AM

Sending best wishes OP.

by Anonymousreply 272October 14, 2018 12:13 AM

OP, I LOVE your art, especially the animal portraits. I bookmarked this thread with the orange eyeball LOL. Will be thinking of you on November 9th. Lots of virtual hugs!

by Anonymousreply 273October 14, 2018 12:35 AM

Remember OP - This is temporary. You are on your way so do not get discouraged.

by Anonymousreply 274October 14, 2018 1:08 AM

OP, you mentioned Ensure, which is nasty and full of sugar. What I found more tolerable is Premier Protein. 30 grams of protein with only 1 net sugar. I like the vanilla, but their other flavors will do in a pinch. Wal-Mart carries 4-packs so you can try a few flavors out, places like Costco and BJs carry cases for cheap. We discovered them when my diabetic elderly mom was told to increase her protein intake. 170 calories is not a lot, but you can always make a smoothie with ice cream if you need to increase your caloric intake. Serve cold, do not freeze as it gets grainy. Good luck with your surgery. We're pulling for you.

by Anonymousreply 275October 14, 2018 3:27 AM

OP - you can take less of the ambien if you don’t want to feel so groggy in the a.m. I snap my pills in half (get a pill-cutter) and that way they just help me fall asleep. Saves the pills too - I don’t use them up as fast. I get an annual stash from my GP for when I travel for work - esp. for that first night in the hotel. (Ask your drs if it’s possible to split other pills if you need to - some meds you can’t)

Now, the pain thing. If you’re feeling a lot of pain in the morning, you’re not getting the right dosage of oxy. What you want to try to do is get on a schedule where you take more long term oxy when you go to bed at night rather than the short term, esp. so the pain won’t wake you up at night. And so, e.g., it gets you 8 am when you take your next dose. The trick to all this is you must figure out how to take your pain meds on a regular basis so you don’t feel any pain. If you start to feel pain or wake up to pain, you’re too late with your next dose. You said yourself how exhausted you feel and that is exactly right - it is so much harder to claw your way back to a pain-free level once you let the pain break through. It exhausting and puts a great strain on your immune system. I know it’s counterintuitive to keep taking pills when you don’t feel pain, but that’s what you want. If 8 is too late, set a timer for 7 and go back to sleep so you’ll be able to get up painfree.

And have something by your bed that you can eat like yoghurt or a protein drink. You’re gonna need to get as many calories in you as you can. Here’s your chance to eat anything you want because you’ll lose weight during chemo.

Then rest until you feel like getting up. Hang in there!

by Anonymousreply 276October 15, 2018 4:26 AM

OP here. Yes, Ensure is awful! I'm usually an incredibly healthy eater - I'm a vegetarian and eschew anything with added sugar -- and Ensure was horribly sweet and disgusting. I'm glad there are options.

Also, Ive started using CBD oil 3 or 4 days ago, and the tumors don't hurt nearly as bad as before. I don't know if they feel better because of the cumulative effect of the drug I'm taking in the trial, or because of the oil, but I'm thankful for it, no matter the cause. Today was the first day in a long time I wasn't in horrible pain.

by Anonymousreply 277October 15, 2018 4:28 AM

Another vote for Muscle Milk. Plenty of protein, lots of nutrients, and very low sugar. Sugar is probably one of the worst things you can have as it messes up the healing process.

by Anonymousreply 278October 15, 2018 4:34 AM

OP - I used CBD oil last week for a few days to test it out. I was feeling anxious, unable to sleep and it helped me enormously. Calmed me down, so I able to relax and get sleep and rest my nerves and allay the anxiety. It's definitely worth a try. Would recommend it but only put a tiny drop under your tongue as they indicated to me. The dosage may be different for you.

As all the other kind posters have been saying, we are rooting for you and so want you to fully recover. And you will!

by Anonymousreply 279October 15, 2018 4:45 AM

Sorry, r279 here again. Re-read your post OP.

[quote]Also, Ive started using CBD oil 3 or 4 days ago, and the tumors don't hurt nearly as bad as before. I don't know if they feel better because of the cumulative effect of the drug I'm taking in the trial, or because of the oil, but I'm thankful for it, no matter the cause. Today was the first day in a long time I wasn't in horrible pain.

I'm so glad the oil has brought you some relief.

by Anonymousreply 280October 15, 2018 4:48 AM

R275 here. Unfortunately the Premier Protein does have artificial sweeteners in it. Sorry. I drinks it for the protein value and convenience of it being remade. I will try the muscle milk next time.

by Anonymousreply 281October 15, 2018 12:49 PM

OP here. I avoid any food that has added sugar. You would not believe how difficult it is to do that! Almost every brand of peanut butter, for instance, has added sugar or corn syrup. Even something as benign as vegetable stock has sugar added. It is astonishing. I recognize that it is often used as a preservative, but I wish sugar-free options were more readily-available.

by Anonymousreply 282October 15, 2018 4:44 PM

Hi op! I hope you're doing okay! We're all thinking of you.

by Anonymousreply 283October 15, 2018 4:49 PM

Hey OP- just came across this thread today. Hope you're doing well. I was diagnosed w/ colon cancer 2 years ago. Had to have surgery, then 6 months of chemo.

Wanted to say two things. First, for the people who gave you shit about doctors missing your cancer- they're wrong, you were right. I went to three doctors and saw an ER doctor who gave me a CAT scan. I had an MRI and an ultrasound. Nothing turned up and I was diagnosed with everything from diverticulitis to a hernia to a cracked pelvic bone. The horrible pain I was having had subsided a great deal after a month, but had turned to severe constipation problems. I was not at that point thinking cancer, but I was thinking some sort of blockage that had moved or shifted so I went to my gastro and told him I wanted a colonoscopy (I was 40 at the time) and he found a tumor in my colon that he couldn't even get past to scope the whole thing. He biopsied it, but already figured it was cancer from the appearance. (I found this out on accident from a very loose lipped, insensitive nurse.) You know your body better than anyone. If you feel something is off, even after being seen by a doctor, you should always follow your instincts, and I'm glad you did.

Second thing- You should be very wary of sugar, not only because of any slowing down of the healing process but because cancer LOVES sugar. It feeds on it. You want to stay as far away from it as you can. Few people can live on 0% sugar. Sugars are in everything, but natural sugars in moderation won't likely cause any issues.

I'm two years out of chemo and doing fine and it passed super quickly. I also went through the whole thing of "not doing this, it's too hard" but stick with it, that too will pass.

Good luck to you. Keep up the fight.

by Anonymousreply 284October 15, 2018 5:07 PM

I wanted to wish you the best of luck with your health.

by Anonymousreply 285October 15, 2018 5:24 PM

OP, Garden of Life makes organic, vegan protein shakes and meal replacement shakes. They are all super low in sugar, less than 1g, and they're meant to help maintain weight. The only bad thing is that the taste is iffy.

[quote]That’s why there’s Raw Organic Meal - convenient, organic shake and meal replacement that’s packed with 44 superfoods that not only satisfies your hunger, but also is naturally filling while boosting energy, and provides you with the protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals you would find in a healthy shake or meal of raw foods. A one-scoop serving delivers 20 grams of clean Certified USDA Organic and Non-GMO Project Verified protein, while two scoops pack a whopping 40 grams of clean organic protein—all from 13 organic sprouted grains and seeds. RAW Organic Meal also includes fruits and vegetables, greens juices, has live probiotics and enzymes as well as 21 whole food vitamins and minerals. Just as important is what’s not in RAW Organic Meal. It has no gluten, soy, dairy, tree nuts, filler ingredients, artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners or preservatives. And it’s RAW—since heat and processing can denature proteins.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 286October 15, 2018 5:30 PM

OP here. I just ordered Garden of Life protein mix. Thanks for the heads up, R286.

R284. Wow! What an ordeal you went through. I am so sorry, but how wonderful that it is in your rear-view. I know my body pretty well. I've always been health-conscious, and have been vegetarian for most of my life. If you pay attention, you can tell when something is wrong, and I just had that instinct that something was. It helps to persevere sometimes.

Thanks again for all the kind words and support!

by Anonymousreply 287October 16, 2018 12:49 AM

Hi Percy's Dad, r283! How is Percy these days?

by Anonymousreply 288October 16, 2018 3:18 AM

Best of luck, OP. Not an easy position to be in, but wishing you only the best of health.

by Anonymousreply 289October 16, 2018 3:47 AM

Princess Diane v F- Diller says she got hers from not being allowed to express herself as a woman! Seriously!

by Anonymousreply 290October 16, 2018 5:59 AM

OP here. How are you and Percy these days. It is odd, but I will think of both of you every christmas season, especially when I see a stray cat, out in the cold. I hope the two of you are doing well.

by Anonymousreply 291October 16, 2018 3:21 PM

Percy's dad -- the offer still holds if you want me to paint Percy!

by Anonymousreply 292October 16, 2018 4:38 PM

We're both pretty good, op/r291, thanks! I'm still helping out with the stray cats in the neighborhood and so far we saved five of them. Just last month we caught a mother and two kittens and the shelter says they're all going to be going up for adoption.

How are you? I hope you're okay and not having too much pain.

by Anonymousreply 293October 19, 2018 2:40 PM

OP here. Great news, Percy's Dad. There were so many strays in the area where I used to live, and I ended up with six cats at one point. They were mostly friendly and I didn't have much trouble catching them. I loved closer to downtown, and it is much more populated, which, oddly, has made the area strays much more skittish, and I can't get close to any that I see. I'm down to three cats and a dog now. That's a manageable number, although I worry about how I will walk the dog and give him enough attention while I'm recovering. He is not a high-energy dog, and he's old, so I hope it won't be a problem. But good for you, PD. I hope you save a lot more cats.

by Anonymousreply 294October 19, 2018 5:05 PM

You sound like such a great person, op. You've done so much for animals and your pets are lucky to have you as an owner.

Do you have someone to look after your pets while you're in the hospital? Maybe a dog-walker could help out if you need it temporarily while you recover?

by Anonymousreply 295October 19, 2018 9:21 PM

R295 --My sister is coming down from Boston to stay at my loft while I'm in the hospital, and she will take care of the animals. The dog will be ok -- he's a big friendly mutt -- but two of the three cats are somewhat feral, and, although they both follow me around, they will not go anywhere near another person, so I worry that they will be unloved for a week or so. At least they will be fed. Pet/house sitters in my area are 100 a night! That is a lot of money, and one reason I don't travel as much as I'd like to. If I want to go away for, say, a week, that's $700 before I even walk out the door. It is an insane expense.

by Anonymousreply 296October 19, 2018 10:15 PM

I know what you mean about cats, OP. I have 2 and they stick like glue to me (which I love) but it would make it challenging to travel for extended perods of time.

Hope you are resting and drinking your juices.

by Anonymousreply 297October 20, 2018 12:24 AM

How are you doing, op?

by Anonymousreply 298October 24, 2018 3:12 AM

OP here. A few new things in the last few days:

I don't know how much pain is to be expected, and how much pain oxycodone can assuage, so I had not complained to my doctor about the pain I've been experiencing. I mentioned it to a nurse, however, and she told my doctor, who immediately doubled the dosage. I started the double dose today, and it has made a world of difference. I am still aware of the pain, but it is not excruciating, and I was actually able to eat some soft food, which cheered me up tremendously.

If anyone here is from Nashville, I can't say enough wonderful things about Vanderbilt Hospital. Every single person has been helpful, and the level of communication between the different departments is impressive. My GP is at another hospital, but, if I live through this, I will try to find a doctor at Vandy. (I don't know what it is like in other cities, but I had to call about 75 doctors before I found one that would take a new patient.)

I'm astonished at which of my friends are trying to help, and which are not. Some people who are not particularly close friends have been surprisingly supportive, and check in on me, asking if I need anything. One friend is insisting that I stay with her post-op, so she can take care of me; another dropped by today with a whole bunch of soup that she bought from Whole Foods; I got the sweetest email from someone who works in a gallery that sells my art in Charleston. And someone who bought a painting a while back heard I had cancer, and she dropped off a book for me to read. When I told a college friend whom I had not seen in years that I have cancer, his first words were "I'll come down to help take care of you." I was floored and touched.

Conversely, someone who I thought was one of my best friends - and whom I've known for 40 years -- has barely checked in. The last time I heard from him was two weeks ago, and his email was just a few words, asking for an update. I poured my heart out to him, and have not heard from him since. I told another friend when I first found out, and I have not heard from him since, nor did he even ask what kind of cancer I had. It is disappointing to discover that I can not rely on them for emotional support.

I suppose it takes something like this to discover someone's true colors, and you, my fellow DL posters, have huge hearts that I could not do without. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 299October 24, 2018 4:55 AM

Hi OP r299 How wonderful to hear you got some relief from the pain.That is a huge deal, like I have to tell you.

I am so sorry the person you thought you could count on isn't being there for you. Not that it is at all an excuse for such behaviour, but some people completely check out when heavy shit goes down to someone in their life. I have had my own experience with this, and it is very hurtful.

Get your cozy where you can find it. You have a friend who insisted on staying with you post-op, another who brought you soup, the sweet email you got, the friend who dropped off a book for you, and of course you have us!

Here's to even more cozy coming into your life xx

by Anonymousreply 300October 24, 2018 5:09 AM

OP, your friend might be afraid of saying the wrong thing, cancer just scares the hell out of people. Give him time, he might come around.

by Anonymousreply 301October 24, 2018 5:10 AM

OP Thank you for sharing your unfortunate news regarding whom you had previously expected to rely upon. My mum has battled two cancers, and a recurrence (she is quite well currently and almost eighty-years-old)... She had shared with me similar let downs and surprises amongst her friends' reactions. Through rough patches in my own life, I have been madly disappointed with so called fair-weather friends. I think it often strikes us as surprising during these revealing moments, but we need to gather our strength and gain solace in the ones who are rock steady. Don't lose sleep and torture yourself over why the ones you love fail now and fall down on the job being your friend. There really may be no answers or viable excuses for them; let them go for now. Don't let them be an energy leak, no matter the hurt. I'm glad you have others who have stepped up. I'm keeping you in my prayers, and know you are going to come through this. Stay positive, and keep eating and medicating!

by Anonymousreply 302October 24, 2018 5:39 AM

OP here. R300, I have to ask: are you a female? And a songwriter? A wonderful friend of mine who is both -- and who lives in LA -- is the only person I have ever met who uses the expression "cozy" the same way you did. I have not told her I have cancer. Is it you?!!?

by Anonymousreply 303October 24, 2018 4:13 PM

sending you great good wishes and lots of love OP.

by Anonymousreply 304October 24, 2018 4:16 PM

Oh, wow, so many encouraging words and a visit from Percy's Dad, too! I love this thread.

I don't love that you have cancer, OP, but it's good to see you're not alone as you go through this. It's inspiring how many wonderful people here at DL are rooting for you.

by Anonymousreply 305October 24, 2018 5:00 PM

Same here, R305. I hate that op is sick with cancer but I love how so many nice people are here thinking of him. I'm happy that you have some friends offering to help you, op. Sending you a virtual hug!

by Anonymousreply 306October 25, 2018 1:06 AM

OP here. Years ago, I volunteered at a crisis hotline, answering the suicide prevention phones. While I was being trained, the instructor told me something that has stuck with me for years: she said that most people who work or volunteer at places like that have had tragedy in their past, and that is why they are better-able to empathize with others who are experiencing difficulty. Although I think some people are just naturally helpful and kind -- I would like to think I am, since, at the time, I had not suffered any loss or tragedy; I just wanted to help people -- the fact that so many of the kind and thoughtful responses on here prove that it is true: instead of just focusing on your own pain and difficulty, you have found the time to help someone go through a horrible situation. This thread has meant more to me than you can imagine. Help and support and encouragement comes from the most unexpected, lovely places. And, still...if anyone wants a painting, please let me know.

by Anonymousreply 307October 25, 2018 5:52 PM

So good to hear from you, OP, and so glad your doctors are tweaking the dose for your pain meds -- pain management really does make all the difference. Less pain = improved comfort = ability to eat = improved strength = improved mood... and so on.

I'm pretty sure you mentioned your surgery date upthread (early November? am I close?) but I can't remember it: when are you having it done?

And I agree with the other posters who say perhaps your close(r) friends who *seem* like they don't care are actually just not sure what to say or do... and so they might have simply shut down. Sometimes, helping a stranger through a difficult period can be easier than helping someone you love, since you're not as emotionally invested in the outcome. Hopefully, it's temporary and they'll come around.

In the meantime, you've got friends who ARE stepping up... and, of course, the DL... to cheer you on. :-)

by Anonymousreply 308October 25, 2018 6:22 PM

November 9th.

by Anonymousreply 309October 25, 2018 6:27 PM

Hang out with us!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 310October 25, 2018 6:28 PM

Hi OP at R303! R300 here. I wish I was your friend from California, she sounds, well, cozy! I think there is a special pod of people who totally get the full meaning of the term. Not the frau mug cradling surface meaning, it is much, much larger and more encompassing than that. It certainly is not easy to put into words, but one knows what it is deep down and can see it in others. It's kind of like being in a tribe I guess.

Just a wee gentle nudge...you really should tell her. Like I said, get your cozy where you can find it. It feels good to give out the cozy vibes to people we love (and to some we don't even know in real life!) And as you've experienced, it feels good to get them in return. I know if I was her, I would most certainly want to know what you are going through. You might feel a bit gun-shy considering some people you assumed would be there for you have not made the scene. They are obviously not members of the Cozy Tribe. So, I do understand any trepidation you may feel. Just please think about it at least, OK? xx

by Anonymousreply 311October 25, 2018 6:59 PM

OP here. Thanks, R311. As soon as my LA friend used the word "Cozy," i knew what she meant. It isn't just flannel pajamas with feet on them; it's warmth and love and kindness and a feeling of home. My friend who uses the word is a delight, and hugely successful. She worked hard and struggled for years, but now has written a bunch of big number one pop songs, so I'm thrilled for her.

And yes, I have been a bit gun shy about telling people. Other than my college friend, the guy I thought was one of my best friends, and family, I haven't told anyone who does not live in the same city as me, partly because I know it will just worry most of them. I plan to tell them closer to the date of surgery - November 9, as someone mentioned above, which touched me greatly -- when the outcome will be known sooner than later.

I will be unconscious and medicated for a number of days after the operation, so please keep thinking those good thoughts!

by Anonymousreply 312October 25, 2018 7:10 PM

You know I will OP! I keep weird hours so if you ever need to reach out, the chances I'm on here are generally good. I've got my cozy vibes set to 11 for you and that date marked on my calendar as it looks like so many others on here do as well! xx

by Anonymousreply 313October 25, 2018 7:21 PM

what were your symptoms OP?

All the best and the best is yet to come!

by Anonymousreply 314October 25, 2018 7:27 PM

R314 , OP here. The symptoms: I could not eat without the side of my tongue hurting. It felt almost like a canker sore, but it did not go away. Eating was painful, although the level fluctuated. I went to several doctors who all misdiagnosed -- I just knew they didn't know what it was -- until I went to an oral surgeon who conducted a biopsy which showed it was cancer. I went to yet another doctor -- a leading surgeon in oral cancer - who confirmed the cancer. It just shows that doctors don't always have the answer, and, if you feel that something is wrong with you, trust your gut and keep digging until you find out what it is.

After the fact, I called the ENT doctor who swore it wasn't cancer, who claimed that it was nothing more than the result of me bitting my tongue, to tell him that it was cancer, and that he misdiagnosed. He swore to me that his notes said that he DID tell me it was cancer and that I need to have a biopsy. I can't believe he would lie about that. Why would he? he clearly amended his notes after the fact, because he swore to me that it was nothing more than a tongue bite. I hope I never need to see another doctor about something this extreme, but, in the future, I should probably ask for a copy of their notes.

by Anonymousreply 315October 25, 2018 7:38 PM

R315, wow. Thanks for the info. Such shocking behavior from that "doctor".

by Anonymousreply 316October 25, 2018 7:48 PM

OP- I diagnosed my own palate cancer, had my entire palate taken out and rebuilt with my own tissue. I forced Campbell’s soup down my throat because it took three months to fill in the huge hole. Pain pills came out of my nose. I was a 37 yo female doc. Have your docs give you enough pain meds and disability from work. Don’t worry. My operation lasted 16 hours and I had to go back 2 times to clear the margins , meaning get more palate cut off.

I have teeth problems, dryness of mouth, cavities but no one can tell without looking directly at my palate. Any questions, I’ll check this board daily.

by Anonymousreply 317October 25, 2018 8:37 PM

OP, I have been following you since your initial post. I don't have any advice, but I am sending you lots of healing vibes to help you through the next several weeks.

by Anonymousreply 318October 25, 2018 8:50 PM

OP_This is R317. Did you paint a black cat flying a plane? I remember looking at your site and your name from months ago!

by Anonymousreply 319October 25, 2018 8:57 PM

OP, I'm glad you seem to be doing better with the adjusted pain meds. Hopefully you're more comfortable. As for telling other people, if you just want to keep it private and not have to deal with other people, that's one thing ... but you don't have to hide it from them just to spare their feelings. People will be glad they know, so they can send you their love and support.

I wish you well as you get through the next couple of weeks before surgery.

by Anonymousreply 320October 25, 2018 8:59 PM

OP here. Wow, R317, what a horrendous experience. I am thankful that you are out of the woods, and shocked that your doctor also lied and changed their notes. I don't know why they would lie like that. Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope all side effects are gone soon. And, yes, I have painted a black cat flying a plane. One of my cats is a black cat -- Skittles -- and she is my muse. I paint her all the time, although she hates to pose for me. When I ask, she gives me that "Not again" look.

And thanks, B. I will probably text and send emails out to people to let them know this weekend. Not that I am in denial -- it's hard to deny anything this painful -- I think part of my reluctance to tell more people is that telling them makes it more real, and, oddly, more frightening.

by Anonymousreply 321October 25, 2018 9:25 PM

November 9th! Got it! Thanks!

by Anonymousreply 322October 25, 2018 9:32 PM

How are things, OP? I was just tending to my 165 lb dog who had knee surgery a few days ago I'm 6'3 and fairly strong, but carrying my dog's ass in a sling every time nature calls hasn't been as funny as it might sound. So yeah, I was doing that and you came to mind.

What are you doing with these days as you gear up for surgery? Are you able to work a bit?

by Anonymousreply 323October 26, 2018 8:21 AM

OP here. R323 - Your dog is lucky that you're his person! I don't know what I would do in that case: my big dog pees about five thousand times a day. He loves going outside. I don't have a yard or a fence -- I live in a loft building -- so I have to walk him constantly. I don't know what I am going to do post surgery. My sister will stay with me for a while, and, by then, I hope I will have the energy to take him on short walks. If not, pretty much everyone in my building has a dog -- it's one of the few big-dog friendly buildings in the area- and I know they would be happy to walk him for me.

I have been getting things in order for the surgery. I am assuming the best but am preparing for the worst, so I am putting things in order so my sister can find them; making a list of bank accounts and galleries that have my paintings; telling her where my storage unit is; making a list of who she needs to call with either good news or bad news.

I have been painting, but not as much as I usually do. Before this, I would paint all day, every day. I still do, but not with the sense of urgency, and not for as long as I used to do. I simply do not have the energy to throw myself into the painting with abandon, so I paint for just a little bit, taking advantage of whatever energy I have.

I am fortunate that I work for myself. I do now know how people can do this and try to work. I couldn't handle it.

by Anonymousreply 324October 26, 2018 4:34 PM

Hi OP. Checking the thread at 1.30am here in London. I’ve been following this since day 1. Haven’t responded on this thread yet, but be assured there are more people on here who care than post responses. But I still want to add my voice and tell you I hope you’ll be better soon. x

by Anonymousreply 325October 27, 2018 12:37 AM

I also meant to add that keeping pain down consistently is important during recovery, so it’s definitely a good thing that your doctor upped your dosage. It makes a huge difference to your body’s energies — the immune system focuses on healing since it doesn’t have to double its work dealing with the stress of the pain as well. (A nurse told me that after an operation, so I’m no longer a fan of ‘grin and bear it.)

by Anonymousreply 326October 27, 2018 12:56 AM

Have you been turned onto any new puréed food/smoothie combos OP? Hoping you are able to get enough down and still enjoy it somewhat.

by Anonymousreply 327October 27, 2018 1:13 AM

Hi op, how are you doing?

by Anonymousreply 328October 28, 2018 7:38 AM

How's OP tonight?

by Anonymousreply 329October 28, 2018 7:42 AM

Hello, DLers! OP here.

Someone suggested upstream that I start to tell people I have cancer and will have imminent surgery. I recently told several friends, including my friend in LA who uses the word "cozy." Although I didn't know what to expect, I was still surprised. My "cozy" friend could not possibly have been more loving and kind and thoughtful and, well, cozy. She is wonderful, and I wish we lived closer to each other. She is one of the kindest people I know. Conversely, the reaction of someone I've always thought of as one of my closest friends -- we were boyfriends for 7 years, friends for 30+ more -- was rote and mechanical. It was the equivalent of sending someone "thoughts and prayers." I was hurt by that one. Another friend didn't even ask any questions about how I was nor did he ask anything about the prognosis; he just railed on that his father in law had just died of cancer, and it sucks. Gee, thanks, but I think I knew that. Another friend made me agree to joining her in London in June, giving me something to look forward to, and a wonderful reason to recover. (I used to live in London, and have not been back in years. I have a very elderly cousin who lives there, still, and I would love to see her before she dies.)

I can't judge anyone based on how they respond to this. A friend of mine's mother is a therapist, and, once, when he was having trouble getting over a breakup with a girl he didn't even like that much, told him that there is no such thing as "original grief." She maintained that the break up is conjuring up feelings of every other break up, and every other relationship that didn't work out, and he is responding as much to those as to the actual breakup. Ergo, I know people aren't always responding to me in the moment; rather, their response is colored by their own fear of getting ill, their memory of someone else they know going through this, etc. Very few reactions are pure.

The warmth and kindness of many of the responses definitely overshadow those that have been shallow and rote. Knowing I can come on here and read words of thoughtfulness and encouragement is everything. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 330October 28, 2018 3:03 PM

Hi again, op! I'm glad to hear you told some of your friends, sorry that some of them aren't being too supportive. Going to visit your friend after you've recovered is a really good idea, it's always nice to have something to look forward to.

by Anonymousreply 331October 28, 2018 10:22 PM

HI OP at r330 This makes me beyond happy! Sending you and her much warmth and coziness. I know it is hard, but some people are just total messes when it comes to being able to "show up" for a friend who is going through a fucked up time. You don't have to forgive them for this, all you need to do is focus on taking care of you, and immersing yourself into a huge Jacuzzi bath of new friends. Those jets...yes, please and more... thank you!

by Anonymousreply 332October 28, 2018 11:12 PM

Sending you hugs this Sunday night, OP! Hope the week ahead is a good one for you!

by Anonymousreply 333October 29, 2018 12:08 AM

Friends of his must be terrified for him. I am. What to say? It is hard to encourage, because it is really scary.

by Anonymousreply 334October 29, 2018 12:13 AM

[quote]Another friend made me agree to joining her in London in June, giving me something to look forward to, and a wonderful reason to recover. (I used to live in London, and have not been back in years. I have a very elderly cousin who lives there, still, and I would love to see her before she dies.)

Here's one solid reason to look forward to OP and you'd get to see your cousin as well. Bonus! Forget the deadwood around you. You've got wonderfully "cozy" friends and they are the ones whose positivity you absolutely need. I'm excited for you right there!

by Anonymousreply 335October 29, 2018 12:34 AM

London in June! There you go.

by Anonymousreply 336October 29, 2018 2:40 AM

I've followed this thread for quite a while, I too have cancer but refuse to give in. I think you will amaze yourself on operation day and be cool as a cucumber. There comes a time when we realize everything at this time is out of our hands. The doctors will handle this for you. My very best thoughts and my your recovery and reconstruction be a total/speedy success.

by Anonymousreply 337October 29, 2018 10:45 PM

OP here. R337, I agree. Once I decided to go through with the operation, I have tried to limit my anxiety about it. Today was the pre op meeting, and I asked a friend of mine to come with me, because I tend to get overwhelmed and forget what they told me, and took notes. She has another friend who has cancer -- breast cancer -- and she had to take her to the emergency room the other night because she was having panic attacks and was bawling hysterically. My friend asked me why I wasn't freaking out or having panic attacks. I told her that whatever will happen will happen My panicking or worrying won't change the outcome, so I'm concentrating on putting my affairs in order, should it not work out the way I hope it does. I hope it works out great, because anything less than that will devastate my mother. I would hate to hurt her; she is a wonderful mom, and the greatest person I know. I got lucky.

by Anonymousreply 338October 30, 2018 1:33 AM

OP - I was around 27 yo when I had open heart surgery. I steeled myself - put all the emotions aside - and was chipper, very upbeat going into the OR. I just went into a very, very calm state. I had good doctors and you have also so you are in fine hands. Stay focused. One Goal.

----I do envy you that TRIP to London though!! :)

by Anonymousreply 339October 30, 2018 2:03 AM

I am, indeed, looking forward to going to London. I could not afford to take myself -- artists don't make much money, and my medical bills will be insane, even with insurance -- and my friend is being extremely generous by getting me a plane ticket with her miles. She is incredibly generous and thoughtful, and has been amazingly helpful through all this.

by Anonymousreply 340October 30, 2018 2:54 AM

Hi OP, Cozy friend 2 from California checking in. You sound good. I hope you have been able to find plenty of tasty food that that hasn't become boring, or worse, painful to eat. You want to get in as much nutrition as you can to be in your best form for the healing process. (Nag, nag, sorry...but I am nagging with love.) I'm about to take one of my beloved Ambien and get some rest. Wishing you easy sleep, and dreams of London!

by Anonymousreply 341October 30, 2018 3:16 AM

So much kindness here. OP, I’m glad you have found so much support.

I’m sending good vibes and good wishes from Wisconsin.

by Anonymousreply 342October 30, 2018 3:34 AM

Hiya OP, hope you were able to access my kitto photos, if not, no worries. I envy you your trip to London!

by Anonymousreply 343October 30, 2018 12:21 PM

R343 -- I did not get the email. :( Can you resend the photos?!?

by Anonymousreply 344October 30, 2018 2:55 PM

Hey OP. Guy with the 165 lb dog recovering from surgery here. I'm also the guy who cared for his brother through 5 cancer surgeries 20 years ago.

I've been trying to recall all we did as we prepared for the surgeries and the one experience that stands out is getting approval from the health insurance co before hospital admission. Have you got this in order? Have your surgery and hospital stay been approved by your health insurance for the go ahead?

We hit a snag when the insurance co dropped the ball and much drama occurred at the crack of dawn on the day of surgery when UCSF refused to admit my brother. You don't want to deal with this kind of fuckery so this is the one bit of counsel I might give: make sure your insurance has approved everything and they've provided the proper docs to Vanderbilt indicating so.

by Anonymousreply 345October 30, 2018 3:46 PM

R345. Thanks for bringing that up . The insurance company is fully on board. The hospital has been exceptionally good at getting all the insurance clearances, and my insurance company -- cigna -- has been exceptional. I have heard so many horror stories about insurance companies, but cigna has been helpful and incredibly cooperative.

by Anonymousreply 346October 30, 2018 8:05 PM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 347October 30, 2018 11:47 PM

That is adorable, R347. Thanks for sharing.

by Anonymousreply 348October 31, 2018 3:42 AM

Hi, OP! Thinking of you. I hope your evening is going well. Sending you cozy vibes xx

by Anonymousreply 349November 2, 2018 2:01 AM

Hey OP! Wishing you a relaxing weekend! Rest up, eat up and do whatever makes you feel great. And just think: by next week at this time, your surgery will already be done. :-)

by Anonymousreply 350November 3, 2018 12:10 PM

Hi OP! - Hope you're resting up and downing as much liquid as you can. Bet you are also busy tidying up your place and other last minute things. Enjoy your weekend and hope you can catch up soon!

by Anonymousreply 351November 3, 2018 3:56 PM

OP sending you warm wishes and warm hugs.

Just think- soon it will be eggnog season :)

by Anonymousreply 352November 3, 2018 5:14 PM

OP here. Thank you, as always, for the warm and kind thoughts. This weekend is going to be tough. I'm still feeling extreme pain, even with the oxy, so the doctor doubled my dosage and sent the prescription to my Walgreens pharmacy. I got a text from Walgreens that the pills are not in stock, and won't be until at least Monday. Since they didn't have 20's, I asked if they could just give me 10's instead -- I need SOMETHING to get me through the pain! -- but they could not, nor are they allowed to transfer the prescription to another Walgreens, nor can they tell me if other Walgreens in the area have 20's in stock. It is crazy. I understand that they have to keep tight reigns on the pills because of the opioid crisis, but I am caught in the net. It seriously would be easier for me to get heroin right now than it would be for me to get the pills a doctor prescribed. (Have no fear, I would not do that.) I don't pretend to know how to solve the opioid crisis, but, because of it, I will be in a lot of pain this weekend. I can't take any OTC pain pills, because they will thin my blood, and it is too soon before the operation to take them. I emailed the hospital, asking them to resend the prescription for 10's instead of 20's, but I don't know if anyone on my "team" works weekends. Wish me luck!

by Anonymousreply 353November 3, 2018 5:43 PM

[quote] Since they didn't have 20's, I asked if they could just give me 10's instead -- I need SOMETHING to get me through the pain! -- but they could not, nor are they allowed to transfer the prescription to another Walgreens, nor can they tell me if other Walgreens in the area have 20's in stock.

I'm actually surprised the pharmacy didn't try to get hold of your doctor and get an alternative precription as it relates to dosage. See if you can call the hospital and see if your email was picked up and acted on. There has to be someone who can help you out!

by Anonymousreply 354November 3, 2018 5:50 PM

R354 -- I have found that Walgreens is not the most efficient or proactive pharmacy I've been to. It is, however, two blocks from me, so I grin and bear it. This is the first time that availability and speed have mattered to me this much.

If I don't hear back from the hospital in another hour or so, I will call the doctor's 24/7 number. I hate to bother someone on the weekend, but I'm afraid I might have to.

by Anonymousreply 355November 3, 2018 5:58 PM

OP, don't worry about bothering anyone on the weekend -- they're on call for a reason, and it's not as though this is an issue of your making. Also, your comfort in the days leading up to surgery is a very important factor in the outcome.

by Anonymousreply 356November 3, 2018 6:07 PM

OP, please call the hospital ASAP and get this sorted. I know it sucks, especially when you feel like shit, but no matter how excellent your team is, you still must be your own advocate. A polite but firmly demanding and persistent type of advocate. Keep calling until you have an adjusted script. This isn't being a "pest", this is you getting what you need. Squeaky wheel and all that. Hospitals are busy, and sometimes things fall through the cracks, or get delayed, so, again, be polite but unapologetically relentless. Please keep us posted. xx

by Anonymousreply 357November 3, 2018 6:11 PM

Exactly R356! OP, get on the horn ASAP!

by Anonymousreply 358November 3, 2018 6:12 PM

Make a call OP. Get your relief and you will be good to go.

by Anonymousreply 359November 3, 2018 6:12 PM

OP, don't wait to hear back from the hospital, call the Doctor's number as well.

by Anonymousreply 360November 3, 2018 6:15 PM

Yes OP be bold in insisting on proper pain management. Ask for something that can possibly anaesthetise your tongue a bit as well. It probably won't replace an opiate, but in the meantime perhaps try Anbesol or Chloraseptic.

by Anonymousreply 361November 3, 2018 6:28 PM

OP, I agree this is a valid reason to make a weekend call. You don't want the pain to get out of control.

by Anonymousreply 362November 3, 2018 7:08 PM

Any updates OP?

by Anonymousreply 363November 3, 2018 9:50 PM

Anybody home, OP?

by Anonymousreply 364November 4, 2018 1:27 AM

OP, do you need me to come over in Shirley Maclaine drag and talk to your hospital?

It sounds like its time for someone to start staying with you to help you get in shape for surgery. You shouldn't have to be doing anything now but resting and getting down as many calories as possible When does your sibling arrive?

by Anonymousreply 365November 4, 2018 3:31 AM

OP = Pain should be the last thing on his mind right now.

by Anonymousreply 366November 4, 2018 3:36 AM

OP here. I have just enough oxys to get be through until Monday morning, if I don't double dose or take one when I wake up during the night. I know this might sound foolish, but, even though I definitely need the pills for pain management, I wanted to prove to myself that I will or do not have an addiction problem with them. So, even though they are on the counter yelling "eat me eat me" I have not taken any more than prescribed, and I have not taken a double dose. I sometimes like to exert my willpower, and this, for me, was a case of that. It would appear, though, that I do not have an addiction issue with them. I wonder why some people become addicted to opioids and some do not?

My sister and mom arrive Thursday. They wanted to come earlier, but I think I need to the time to get everything in order, like make a will, a living will, clean my place, which alone could take a week! There is a chance I do not wake up from surgery, and I am ok with that, but I am trying to get as much in order as I can. It is odd to have a clock ticking, and know you only have so much time before you no longer have any.

by Anonymousreply 367November 4, 2018 3:03 PM

Glad you got the meds sorted out. Keep it goin' - don't forget to stock your fridge BEFORE you leave so you have all your water, shakes, soups and whatnot already stockpiled.

by Anonymousreply 368November 4, 2018 4:26 PM

OP here. I was in agony because of the lack of pain pills. I tried to grin and bear it, but it was difficult. I mentioned it to a friend who has had back surgery, and she brought over some extra pills that she didn't need. Wow. I can not believe how much better I feel. It is just so hard to focus or do pretty much anything when you're in that much pain. I was actually able to get some painting done, which I am thankful for; that is my happy place for sure.

by Anonymousreply 369November 4, 2018 9:49 PM

Please don't trouble yourself about addiction at this point OP. Cross that bridge IF it comes later on. One thing at a time. Glad for your friend and your relief.

by Anonymousreply 370November 4, 2018 9:56 PM

R369 Really glad she came through for you, and that it helped. I won't even say "we told you so". Ooops. xx

by Anonymousreply 371November 4, 2018 9:58 PM

OP, try taking the pills with a coffee or two. Studies show caffeine has a synergistic effect with pain relievers. Enables them to kick in faster too. Ask your doc about Tramadol too. I have read some things in the literature that synthetic opioids like this are thought to be somewhat less addictive.

by Anonymousreply 372November 4, 2018 10:04 PM

NO! And that disinfo by Big Pharma got a ton of people hooked on it. Tramadol is HIGHLY addictive yet it is not *nearly* as an effective pain killer as it was originally touted to be, let alone what the OP is going to need. Grapefruit juice seed extract is a fairly effective potentiator, but don't take until after you are healing up. (1/8 tsp to 10 oz of tepid water well mixed)

You can have a single beer with your pills. I promise you won't wind up in Betty Ford. Alcohol remains the best potentiator for opiates and benzos. Trust me, I've lived in this world forever.

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by Anonymousreply 373November 4, 2018 10:30 PM

Sorry R372, didn't mean to seem like I was biting your head off. I was !TRIGGERED! That is how bad that shit is. My apologies.

by Anonymousreply 374November 4, 2018 11:05 PM

OP here. Thanks for the concern, but I really don't think addiction is going to be an issue. I am thankful that the oxies do not seem to have that affect on me.

by Anonymousreply 375November 4, 2018 11:22 PM

Cool OP. Just don't want you to suffer needlessly through testing your willpower. Medicate with abandon untill you get relief then.

by Anonymousreply 376November 4, 2018 11:29 PM

There is no greater stress on the body than pain, OP. Now days before surgery is not the time to experiment with pain levels. I say this from experience.

by Anonymousreply 377November 5, 2018 2:57 PM

Hoping you've managed to tamp down the pain so you're a bit more comfy, OP, and that you have a good Tuesday!

by Anonymousreply 378November 6, 2018 11:04 AM

Life is short, take the damn pills. The stress from pain will not allow addiction. It's after the pain has gone that might be a problem. You really need an addictive personality to get hooked on that stuff.

by Anonymousreply 379November 6, 2018 2:40 PM

I'll buy the extra meds from you down the road, OP. For now, here's hoping you've got a nice buzz and you're pain free.

by Anonymousreply 380November 6, 2018 6:35 PM

Thinking of you and sending you good vibes as the big day draws near, OP! Hope you're feeling relaxed and relieved.

by Anonymousreply 381November 7, 2018 8:57 PM

OP - This little fella hopes you're also keeping warm and getting ready for a nice nap.

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by Anonymousreply 382November 7, 2018 10:17 PM

OP here. I will probably not be back on here until after surgery. There is so much left to do, but so little time to do it. My mom and sister will be here tomorrow, andI will also spend a great deal of the day at the hospital for the pre op meeting. Thank you all for the kind and warm and sincere wishes. I would not have come this far without them. I hope I will see you back here in a few weeks! Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 383November 7, 2018 10:43 PM

In that case: all the best to you a couple of days early, OP!

I hope the surgery and your recovery are smooth and speedy, and that you're back in your place, with your pets and your painting (and, selfishly, back here at the DL with all of us), feeling better, very soon! We'll be here to cheer you on or cheer you up, as needed.

And my guess is that we'll all be waiting anxiously to hear from you. :-)

by Anonymousreply 384November 7, 2018 10:49 PM

Wishing you a successful surgery Friday and a speedy recovery, OP!

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by Anonymousreply 385November 7, 2018 10:51 PM

Best of luck, OP, glad your mom and sister will be there with you.

by Anonymousreply 386November 7, 2018 10:53 PM

See you soon OP!

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by Anonymousreply 387November 7, 2018 11:14 PM

Looking forward to your post-surgery report, OP. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 388November 7, 2018 11:16 PM

See You in London!

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by Anonymousreply 389November 7, 2018 11:25 PM

All my best to you, Op. Here's to a successful surgery and a healthy return to a rewarding life. Hope to see you back here soon!

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by Anonymousreply 390November 8, 2018 2:27 AM

All the best, op, I'll be thinking of you. Percy says hi too!

by Anonymousreply 391November 8, 2018 2:50 AM

Sending you good vibes and speedy recovery!

by Anonymousreply 392November 8, 2018 4:25 AM

Wishing you the best and sending you positive and good vibes! You are gonna be just fine!

by Anonymousreply 393November 8, 2018 4:27 AM

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, OP.

FYI docs turned the upper part of my brother's face inside out to access and successfully remove the tumor in his sinus. These surgeons are effing rock stars. You're in good hands, OP.

I look forward to hearing from you post op

by Anonymousreply 394November 8, 2018 6:06 PM

Best wishes and all the good vibes I can send, OP. I'm so happy your mom and sister will be there to help.

by Anonymousreply 395November 8, 2018 11:02 PM

With you in spirit. Sending cozy vibes for an easy and speedy recovery! xx

by Anonymousreply 396November 8, 2018 11:11 PM

We look forward to your good news OP. We'll be waiting right here to hear from you when you are recovered and up for a few DL jokes and a bit of banter.

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by Anonymousreply 397November 8, 2018 11:56 PM

Thinking of you today, OP! Hoping your surgery goes well and wishing you a full and thorough recovery, and as little pain as possible. Love from Belgium.

by Anonymousreply 398November 9, 2018 8:44 AM

Me too OP. Love and hugs from Australia.

by Anonymousreply 399November 9, 2018 11:41 AM

OP I haven't advice for you but I'm very sorry to see this news. I don't pray but I'm sending you positivity and truly hope everything works out, and that you are ok.

I wish you peace above all. Get well.

by Anonymousreply 400November 9, 2018 11:45 AM

Me too OP. Love and hugs from your northern neighbour, Canada.

by Anonymousreply 401November 9, 2018 11:45 AM

Thinking of you today, op.

by Anonymousreply 402November 10, 2018 3:06 PM

OP, you generous soul, I got my painting and I love it! It's so adorable. I posted it on IG and tagged you (I also said you were getting some cancerous stuff taken out- I can remove that if you wish) and asked people to show you some love.

by Anonymousreply 403November 10, 2018 4:52 PM

Here's to ya mate.

by Anonymousreply 404November 10, 2018 4:59 PM

Well come on, r403, let us see, as well.

by Anonymousreply 405November 10, 2018 5:21 PM

Here you go, r405:

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by Anonymousreply 406November 10, 2018 5:29 PM

I'm Jealous, r406. I wonder if he would make me one?!?

by Anonymousreply 407November 10, 2018 5:32 PM

After he recovers, I'm sure. I offered to pay for it, and he declined, the dear. He says painting takes his mind off of things. Contact him through his website. The worst thing he could say is no, but he would know that you're thinking of him.

by Anonymousreply 408November 10, 2018 6:03 PM

That's a lovely painting r406. I think OP may be a sweetheart Husband material.

by Anonymousreply 409November 10, 2018 6:08 PM

I hope you are comfortable.

by Anonymousreply 410November 12, 2018 7:50 AM

Thinking of you OP! Post-op now...London beckoning...

by Anonymousreply 411November 12, 2018 9:52 AM

OP, my dog is recovering nicely from knee surgery so I don't have to carry around his165 lb culo in a sling any longer. Recovery is a beautiful thing.

From what you've posted I believe tomorrow is the big day when you emerge from sedation. I'll be thinking of you and sending tender thought s your way.

by Anonymousreply 412November 12, 2018 9:26 PM

OP, wishing you well in your recovery.

by Anonymousreply 413November 13, 2018 12:49 AM

OP was put into a week long coma on Friday; just imagine all the stuff he gotta catch up on when he gets back home.

by Anonymousreply 414November 13, 2018 12:54 AM

Do they sedate patients that long r414?

by Anonymousreply 415November 13, 2018 12:57 AM

I believe OP said 5 days.

by Anonymousreply 416November 13, 2018 12:59 AM

You often hear of patients being put into an induced coma R415 but I am just going by what the OP said was going to happen after his surgery on Friday.

by Anonymousreply 417November 13, 2018 1:07 AM

Hoping OP is doing well and that his recovery is going smoothly.

by Anonymousreply 418November 14, 2018 12:24 PM

Sending positive vibes to you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 419November 15, 2018 12:05 PM

Waiting to hear... Hope all went well.

by Anonymousreply 420November 15, 2018 12:17 PM

How's our patient doing?

by Anonymousreply 421November 17, 2018 10:01 AM

OP is now a week out from surgery, so hopefully he's doing well and his pain levels are being kept under control.

Looking forward to his return here!

by Anonymousreply 422November 17, 2018 12:15 PM

Got an auto-response email saying that he'll be back today....hope to hear from him!

by Anonymousreply 423November 17, 2018 2:22 PM

op here!!! surgery went well, and i am home now. my arm is in a cast until week from monday, so typing is near impossible until then,. i will come back then to fill in. thank you all so much. your kindness made so much difference. xo

by Anonymousreply 424November 17, 2018 5:27 PM

OP, it's wonderful news that your surgery went well and you are home. Looking forward to reading more once you are freed from the cast!

by Anonymousreply 425November 17, 2018 5:44 PM

So glad to hear you pulled through and all went well OP. Rest up,and hope you are comfortable. 💐🌻🌹🌺

by Anonymousreply 426November 17, 2018 5:46 PM

So glad you're ok, OP! Wishing you a quick recovery.

by Anonymousreply 427November 17, 2018 6:07 PM

OP, welcome back! And don't forget you probably have a speech-to-text capability on your phone or tablet. If that's any easier for you.. Can anybody fill me in why OP would have an arm cast?

by Anonymousreply 428November 17, 2018 6:42 PM

I'm R428. Forgive me, it might be very hard for you to speak right now, I was not thinking. Welcome back, so glad you you told through this so well.

by Anonymousreply 429November 17, 2018 6:45 PM

Hi op!!! So glad to hear from you, I hope everything is going well.

r428, I'm not sure, but I think op has his arm in a cast because they took a graft from there.

Percy says hi too!

by Anonymousreply 430November 17, 2018 9:12 PM

Great to hear from you OP! I am happy you are doing well :)

by Anonymousreply 431November 17, 2018 9:30 PM

So happy to hear you are doing well, OP. You have been in my thoughts every day.

by Anonymousreply 432November 17, 2018 9:30 PM

Well, this certainly calls for a little DL celebratory lighting!

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by Anonymousreply 433November 17, 2018 9:32 PM

I thought about you every day, OP, so glad the surgery went well!

by Anonymousreply 434November 17, 2018 10:15 PM

Yayy OP, thank you for checking in on us. Glad to hear you're doing well.

by Anonymousreply 435November 17, 2018 11:31 PM

So happy to hear from you!! You’ve been on my mind. 🌺🌹💐🌻

by Anonymousreply 436November 17, 2018 11:42 PM

Bravo, OP. Great news. Here's wishing you a lovely Thanksgiving with your Mother and Sis.

And, certainly, look forward to your recovery stories.

by Anonymousreply 437November 17, 2018 11:53 PM

Glad to hear you are doing well, OP. You've come a long way since your first post. I think we can all find something in this thread to inspire us.

by Anonymousreply 438November 18, 2018 12:06 AM

Great news OP!

by Anonymousreply 439November 18, 2018 3:11 AM

This is all fabulous news OP! Rest your arm for now - don't type. We look forward to hearing more when you are a bit more up to it. Hope you are enjoying our posts in the meantime.

-- Maybe start mentally planning that trip to London in the springl which will be absolutely What The Doctored Ordered.

by Anonymousreply 440November 18, 2018 4:11 AM

YAY! So glad to hear from you, OP, and so happy the surgery went well! Rest up, take it easy and swing back in here when you're feeling up to it. Thank you for letting us all know you're OK!

by Anonymousreply 441November 18, 2018 2:36 PM

Glad to hear from you¡. Rest up and let us know if you need Netflix recommendations!

by Anonymousreply 442November 18, 2018 3:05 PM

Sunday Smile for OP.

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by Anonymousreply 443November 18, 2018 5:02 PM

More Shits 'n Giggles for dear OP.

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by Anonymousreply 444November 18, 2018 5:09 PM

Gentle bump.

by Anonymousreply 445November 20, 2018 12:07 AM

Heads up OP and keep on talking to us. You'll get through this!

by Anonymousreply 446November 20, 2018 3:10 AM

Thinking if you, OP. Beautiful sunny day here in the Rockies. Hope your mind is peaceful, friend, as you string recovery days together.

by Anonymousreply 447November 20, 2018 5:48 PM

So glad to hear you're doing well, OP.

by Anonymousreply 448November 20, 2018 6:37 PM

Sending OP good wishes from the very cold shores of Lake Michigan!

by Anonymousreply 449November 20, 2018 7:07 PM

This thread is catnip for lesbian caregivers.

by Anonymousreply 450November 20, 2018 8:11 PM

Hope your Thanksgiving weekend is a relatively painless one.

by Anonymousreply 451November 22, 2018 5:05 PM

Happy Thanksgiving OP, keep your spirits up.

by Anonymousreply 452November 22, 2018 5:36 PM

Hi OP! Hope you're feeling okay and that your recovery is chugging along smoothly. Thinking of you and sending healing vibes!

by Anonymousreply 453November 24, 2018 10:56 AM

op here. you are all too kind, and it means the world to me. i will post at length when my arm cast comes off. thank you all.

by Anonymousreply 454November 24, 2018 12:46 PM

Hello Op. Good to see you back.

by Anonymousreply 455November 24, 2018 2:42 PM

So happy to see a post from OP. I hope you are doing well and that your arm is cast-free soon.

by Anonymousreply 456November 24, 2018 2:50 PM

Great news OP. Easy does it. We'll be here....

by Anonymousreply 457November 25, 2018 3:21 AM

Yay OP!

by Anonymousreply 458November 25, 2018 5:01 AM

Hi, OP. I'd lost track of your thread but just thought of you and did a search, and I'm happy to discover you're doing well! But why is your arm in a cast??

by Anonymousreply 459November 26, 2018 1:40 AM

be more well each day

by Anonymousreply 460November 26, 2018 3:38 AM

Be Best, OP!

by Anonymousreply 461November 27, 2018 11:25 AM

R459 --- My arm is in a cast because they used arteries from my art to rebuild my tongue. I had the cast removed yesterday, but it was almost one step back. I still cant use my arm, and they want me to start to not use the feeding tube, which is depressingly difficult. That is today's project: learning how to swallow again!

by Anonymousreply 462November 27, 2018 2:24 PM

OP, so glad to see you back. It may seem difficult to swallow now, because you're still dealing with a lot of pain I'm sure. But you can do it, keep your wits about you and try to realize you're in the home stretch now. So glad you posted.

by Anonymousreply 463November 27, 2018 5:12 PM

Can you eat mushy soups, stews, puddings OP? Be patient - You're still in recovery.

by Anonymousreply 464November 27, 2018 10:22 PM

Healthy Soup Recipes for Babies and Kids. This might come in handy - soups according to baby's development.

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by Anonymousreply 465November 27, 2018 10:29 PM

I hadn't realized surgeons were going to rebuild your tongue, OP. Quite miraculous.

You must be losing weight which is almost always fabulous. Keep in mind svelte can wear any/everything.

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by Anonymousreply 466November 28, 2018 8:33 PM

I think this costume for your London trip would be very practical OP: Raincoat, sun protection, pockets galore, you don't need a toilet because no one can see your double fitted depends. Rinse at night, and you're set for the next day.

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by Anonymousreply 467November 28, 2018 9:30 PM

OP here. It was a bad day. I went to a follow up doctor appointment, and I have lost 20 pounds, which is not good because I am not getting enough nutrition. I currently have a feeding tube in my nose, but they will take that out tomorrow and insert a stomach feeding tube tomorrow. Worse, I will have to have chemo and radiation for six weeks. I am beyond freaked and somewhat panicked about this. I will probably not check back here for a little bit, but will still welcome good thoughts. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 468November 29, 2018 7:51 PM

Sounds very hard OP but I am cheering for you.

by Anonymousreply 469November 29, 2018 7:58 PM

OP, I think the worst is behind you, and by that I mean the surgery. You are still in treatment, but you are also in a recovery mode, which may be causing you to feel confusion and dejection, and I think you need to adjust your expectations a bit. It does seem that you are doing well, but it will take time to start feeling improvements in your well being. But it's coming. Don't lose courage.

by Anonymousreply 470November 29, 2018 8:03 PM

Keep up a good fight OP. I am continuing to pray for you, and lighting an extra candle for you on Friday nights. Though it may be an unpopular and spurious practise here on DL, I hope it brings you some comfort.

by Anonymousreply 471November 29, 2018 8:13 PM

It's like a marathon. You've got this OP.

by Anonymousreply 472November 29, 2018 8:14 PM

Sorry to hear you had a bad day, OP. Are your sister and mother still there to help you? Or can you talk to some of the friends you reached out to? We’re all rooting for you here on DL, posting from around the world, as you saw in earlier messages. I hope the chemo and treatment will be as painfree as possible, and that the new feeding tube helps you get more nutrients. It’s only normal that you’re a bit panicked about this all: it is horrific, and it’s okay to be horrified at times. Just try to remain a bit hopeful, and try to focus on things around you that calm and comfort you, if that doesn’t sound too trite. Hugs!

by Anonymousreply 473November 29, 2018 8:24 PM

Sending you virtual hugs and massive support, OP! Hopefully, the new feeding tube will help you get the nutrients you need -- those, in turn, should help you to feel a bit better. Take it day by day. Slow and steady wins the race.

by Anonymousreply 474November 30, 2018 12:45 AM

They just want you to get some nutrition and understandably it's a big challenge right now. One day at a time dear OP. You may very well be on the mend this time next week. The body is an amazing thing. Resilient.

by Anonymousreply 475November 30, 2018 12:54 AM

[QUOTE]OP, I think the worst is behind you, and by that I mean the surgery. You are still in treatment, but you are also in a recovery mode, which may be causing you to feel confusion and dejection, and I think you need to adjust your expectations a bit. It does seem that you are doing well, but it will take time to start feeling improvements in your well being. But it's coming. Don't lose courage.

All lovely, warm messages but this one struck a chord for me. The emotional impact on you cannot be denied. I had open heart surgery in my 20s. I was a fit 26 year old, took me 3 months to recover, lost about the same amount of weight as you (although I was kind of happy about that) but I was useless for a few weeks. It's hard to be in that situation - felt alone even though I had people around me.

One day at a time and maybe put that suitcase out (the one for London) so you can see it all the time and the thought of that trip will lift you higher than you can imagine.

YOU ARE DOING GREAT OP. PROUD OF YA.

by Anonymousreply 476November 30, 2018 1:02 AM

[quote]I am beyond freaked and somewhat panicked about this.

Understandably so. Remember, everything is to help you get better. Healing and full recuperation can be very slow, procedures are painful and we get frustrated and feel discouraged so profoundly.

You will get past this OP. Get your rest, sleep and go easy on yourself. You just had major surgery and now you are healing from this. I know it's scary as hell but you will be allright.

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by Anonymousreply 477November 30, 2018 1:41 AM

OP, that sounds like a lot to deal with, after everything you've already been through. It does sound like a bad day. I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

by Anonymousreply 478November 30, 2018 2:16 AM

Sending love, OP.

Many of the newer chemo drugs have much lower side effects than the old ones so please don’t let that freak you out too much. And they’re getting amazing results with them too, and there are always new ones being developed.

Hugs and please keep us posted!

by Anonymousreply 479November 30, 2018 3:04 AM

What R479 said. And just try and take it one day at a time, OP. My NP niece trained at Vanderbilt and I know it has a reputation for excellent care. But if you run into any problems, don't hesitate to complain or have your family members serve as advocates for you. Holding you in my thoughts and sending you love from the still-cold shores of Lake Michigan.

by Anonymousreply 480November 30, 2018 6:35 PM

Sorry you have to go through the radiation and chemotherapy on top of a traumatic procedure. I'm sure it's an unwelcome shock. You've come so far already, though, and this is just one last hurdle. (Is is possible the doctors may have been deliberately vague about the possibility of radiation before the operation to make sure you didn't lose heart?) Try not to worry too much about the weight loss. You've been healthy up to this and that generally stands to you. Good luck, and I hope today has been a bit better.

by Anonymousreply 481November 30, 2018 9:22 PM

Look at it as an opportunity to eat fattening things without remorse later. And eggnog when you can.

by Anonymousreply 482November 30, 2018 9:44 PM

OP here. I continue to be touched beyond measure by the kind words.

I know radiation and chemo is a lot to deal with --there is no way for me to think otherwise -- but I will just take one day at a time, and, before I know it, the six weeks of treatment will be over. I am frustrated that I don't have the energy to paint right now , and I will miss my lucrative Christmas season, but there is no good time to deal with this.

I am too weak to drive, and the thought of getting to the hospital every day for six weeks seemed insurmountable, but a dear friend volunteered to drive me there and back every day. Her husband is Chief of Surgery at Vanderbilt, and I know I will be treated well.

Thank you all for being so kind and supportive. I hope your world is fantastic.

I

by Anonymousreply 483December 1, 2018 12:10 AM

Hope you had a better day today OP. Sending warm thoughts your way!

by Anonymousreply 484December 1, 2018 12:13 AM

[quote}Thank you all for being so kind and supportive. I hope your world is fantastic

No free lunches at DL. We're all flying over with you to London!

by Anonymousreply 485December 1, 2018 12:16 AM

Sending hugs, OP. And...

Should you ever need it, you could always contact your local branch of the American Cancer Society -- they have volunteers who will drive you to/from chemo, doctor's appointments, etc., free of charge.

The program is called Road to Recovery (see link).

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by Anonymousreply 486December 1, 2018 12:23 AM

Radiation is a snap, Ive had it 3 separate times each 24 to 30+ sessions. Ive had iv chemo once but it didn't work for me and now I'm on my second round of pill form of chemo. No sickening side effects except for the iv chemo during the the first 3 sessions and then things smoothed out. So far in my years of treatments they've all sounded worse than they turned out to be. I have metastasize prostate cancer and I've been told that this disease likely kill me if I live long enough. I was diagnosed originally when I was 58 and I am now turning 77 in a few days. Be well.

by Anonymousreply 487December 1, 2018 2:41 AM

Radiation is scary but I have seen it do some great things.

by Anonymousreply 488December 1, 2018 2:50 AM

Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you, OP. Truly I think the worst is past you.

by Anonymousreply 489December 1, 2018 7:50 AM

Hang in there OP!

When I had surgery, I woke up after the surgery just feeling like I had gotten rid of something poisonious, and I was getting better every day after. That’s what you’ve done. Just picture in your mind that the bad stuff is gone, and it’s all getting better every day. Because it is.

by Anonymousreply 490December 1, 2018 8:06 AM

ARE YOU STILL LIVING ???

by Anonymousreply 491December 1, 2018 8:16 AM

What r490 said. Your body is now free to heal itself completely as a result of the extraction. Give it time. Your mental outlook is extremely important - staying positive, eye on the goal: Out of that hospital and back to your old self. Moving forward every day, bit by bit, not too fast but at your pace. Takes times to get back from operations plus the chemo. But as others have said, medical science is constantly evolving such that the medication (treatment) you are on now is probably light years better than in the past.

The painting will come when you are ready.

by Anonymousreply 492December 1, 2018 8:36 AM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 493December 1, 2018 2:04 PM

You sound like a cutie,OP. Sending love and healing thoughts your way. You reaching out this way has brought out such loveliness on the DL. That alone is a great accomplishment, these days. ;)

by Anonymousreply 494December 1, 2018 2:24 PM

Hi OP. Its normal that you feel the way you do. Recovery ain't for sissies.

I too suspect doctors knew they were going to suggest chemo and radiation post surgery. Its not as if you've had a set back. Its all part of recovery. The new feeding tube location will be more comfortable as well.

My greatest concern for you now, OP, is that you have others around to help care for you Is there any one there with you now? Are there things needing attention? Let us know.

by Anonymousreply 495December 1, 2018 3:21 PM

Agree with R1. Stay, treat it, go on living nice life til you’re supposed to be done.

by Anonymousreply 496December 1, 2018 3:23 PM

Still thinking of you all the time op. Wish I could be there to give you a big hug.

by Anonymousreply 497December 2, 2018 1:57 AM

*head bunt*

by Anonymousreply 498December 2, 2018 9:24 PM

OP here. I will admit that tonight is the first time I have sobbed uncontrollably about my situation. I am just...overwhelmed. I am having the stomach feeding tube installed tomorrow. I have to go to the dentist Thursday to make sure that all my teeth will survive radiation; those that won't will have to be pulled. My shoulder is in intense pain, making it difficult to use my left arm; it is either a result of my arm being in an awkward position during surgery, in which case a shot of steroids should help, or because a nerve has been pinched, in which case I will need another surgery. And...my sister is going back home tomorrow. I know I have relied on her for pretty much everything, and she has been fantastic. I am, quite frankly, scared about being alone, and scared about what chemo and radiation will do. I think I will be ok once it starts, but the fear of the unknown is daunting. I'm scared.

Thank you for all your thoughts. Many of you on here are also suffering, and it is absolutely wonderful and kind that you took the time to respond to someone else's plight, when you have your own to worry about. It is nice to see such kindness in the world. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 499December 4, 2018 3:49 AM

Hi, OP. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry your sister is going back home. I didn't realize all that was involved with your treatment (e.g., dental issues). Please continue to post on this thread. IME, the best group of people post on this thread, so keep posting updates. Wishing you well.

by Anonymousreply 500December 4, 2018 4:07 AM

OP - SO sorry to hear that it's been rough going. I hope they treat your shoulder asap! Easy does it - You're in full recovery now and the dentist is is unfortunately the next step. Are you getting any nutrition lately? If not, the stomach tube will address that.

Gosh, this is tough and your sister is heading home. Don't despair. You MUST not despair. This time next week could be so different. You are in good hands OP remember that.

by Anonymousreply 501December 4, 2018 4:07 AM

A couple of things to know. Radiation is not painful. (At least the actual treatments). Essentially it is something that will do a slow motion "fry" of cancerous areas, so ultimately there could be burns or sores, either on the outside of your neck or on your inner tissues - those WILL hurt, but surely they'll advise you on ways to mitigate that. Chemo is also essentially painless, but it weakens you and of course there could be some attendant nausea or other problems. Often the first thing to go are your taste buds, but those are gone anyway, at least for the time being, so hopefully by the time you finish chemo, those will begin to be healing up anyway. It won't be fun, but probably not nearly as bad as the mind games fear of the unknown is playing on you. Best of luck.

by Anonymousreply 502December 4, 2018 4:14 AM

As the previous poster said, please continue to post on this thread. We're here and we're your shoulder to cry on and cheerleading squad at the same time.

by Anonymousreply 503December 4, 2018 4:25 AM

You are a wonderful soul, OP, and I wish nothing but the best for you. I am so very sorry that things seem so momentarily bleak for you. Once you begin treatment and have a better idea of what to expect the fog of uncertainty and fear will lift.

Much love to you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 504December 4, 2018 4:35 AM

OP no shame at all in shedding those tears. I think it's part of the healing process to purge all these emotions your experiencing. You're being very brave fighting this and sharing of yourself here, whether you feel you are or not. Sending you good thoughts.

by Anonymousreply 505December 4, 2018 5:22 AM

Hugs, OP. As a previous poster said, you've gone through a LOT in the past couple of months, so sobbing is par for the course and might actually be cathartic.

Does Vanderbilt have any kind of cancer-support services? Maybe a program that could provide you with a home-care nurse or home-visit aide who could drop by to help you with whatever you need? Or any kind of support groups (online, in-person, whichever) for patients with oral cancers, where you might be able to get some advice or tips or just general "I know exactly what you're going through, and here's how I got through it" support?

I'm sorry to hear your sister's going home and that you feel afraid -- is there any way for her to extend her stay by even a few days, just to help you find a support system before she leaves?

Here's hoping today is a brighter day for you in some way.

by Anonymousreply 506December 4, 2018 12:08 PM

OP - Did you get the stomach feeding tube installed?

by Anonymousreply 507December 4, 2018 2:18 PM

Good morning, OP. Here's wishing you peace today as you take this next step in recovery to relocate the feeding tube. Please take your tablet with you and check in when you feel the need or desire

Every thing is fine, OP. You're right on track and I fully expect you'll feel considerably better before too long. Caring for my brother made me a near expert in this process so I'm not talking out my ass or placating

Is someone going to hospital with you today?

1. You should convey to doctors that your arm situation is untenable. Ask them what they can do for you now.

2. If you don't have them already request today for xanax or valium for moments when you feel your mind is screwing with you.

When you feel a bit better maybe, we -all of us here - can discuss with you how to proceed in terms of getting neighbors/friends/social services to help out a bit.

by Anonymousreply 508December 4, 2018 2:43 PM

Lovely post, r508.

Dear OP - Hope you are getting some respite from your pain. Been a tough week but this first week is nearly over. Wishing you a peaceful slumber tonight.

by Anonymousreply 509December 5, 2018 12:39 AM

Hi from Percy OP. The other posters here are so nice and have some really good suggestions. I don't know what else to say other than that I think about you and hope you'll be feeling better soon.

by Anonymousreply 510December 5, 2018 1:06 AM

Wishing you all the best OP! Hang in there! You can do it! One step at a time!

Sending positive thoughts and vibes! Hang tough!

by Anonymousreply 511December 5, 2018 1:29 AM

OP here. I had the stomach feeding tube inserted yesterday, and the nose tube removed. It was such a relief to have the nose tube removed, because it made it difficult to wash my face, brush my teeth, etc.

They overbooked at the hospital, so, although I got there at ten in the morning, I did not leave until 6, even though the operation is only about 20 minutes. It did not hurt until late last night, when the sedation wore off, and I could not move. I called a friend, and she came over to help me get to bed, etc. It still hurts today, but it's more like a broken rib: it does not hurt when I sit still, but it hurts when I try to stand up, twist, or cough. I have Oxy, so I suspect that pain will fade fast.

My next appointment is the dentist tomorrow, to make sure my teeth will withstand radiation. I hope I do not have to have any removed; that will just be more salt in the would. I take care of my teeth, so here's hoping I will have no trouble.

I am overwhelmed by how much I have to do, and by the support from all of you. I am touched more than I can say. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 512December 5, 2018 4:50 PM

Sounds like things are progressing as they should, OP. You’re doing great. Take it one day at a time.

by Anonymousreply 513December 5, 2018 6:00 PM

Good news, OP, and pleased to learn your friend is there for you. Yeah, one day at a time, friend.

by Anonymousreply 514December 5, 2018 6:13 PM

So glad you are receiving some relief OP. Baby steps - and you will get there. The various procedures involved are moving rather quickly so for that I am very happy for you. You are doing wonderfully OP. Spirits up and this will soon be over!

by Anonymousreply 515December 5, 2018 6:25 PM

I'm really glad you have people you can call on when you need help. Still thinking of you every day.

by Anonymousreply 516December 5, 2018 6:33 PM

You're doing a great job, OP. Sorry you have to go through this.

by Anonymousreply 517December 5, 2018 6:44 PM

Good time to catch up on gay films at Netflix, OP.

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by Anonymousreply 518December 5, 2018 6:53 PM

Fingers crossed for a completely uneventful dentist visit and some good, sound sleep tonight, OP. :-)

As everyone has said: take it one day at a time. Given everything you and your body have gone through, you're doing great!

by Anonymousreply 519December 5, 2018 8:30 PM

You're a trooper, hang in there.

by Anonymousreply 520December 5, 2018 8:40 PM

OP, as others have said, you've just got to take it one day, and one step at a time. I know that's easier said than done - it's hard not to look at everything you have to do, and instead just look at the next step you have to take. But you've made it this far, and gotten through a lot already.

Good luck with dentist tomorrow - hopefully everything goes well there. You're stronger than you think you are.

by Anonymousreply 521December 6, 2018 6:09 AM

Thinking of you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 522December 6, 2018 6:12 AM

OP-Please ask your MD to refer you for daily nursing care at home. Recovery is hard alone. Do what you need to do to get better and focus on a good future. Try not to worry about what’s next. It took three months for my palate to fill in. Feels weird but it’s funny how one forgets the misery of recuperation. I have nice implants where the bone needed to be cut off and actually have teeth there. When you are all well, look at what delayed your diagnosis.

My stupid ENT kept “draining” the “Cyst” in my palate, refused to do a biopsy and then changed the chart to say I refused a biopsy. He was an idiot. This went on for 9 months by which time the cancer spread very close to the sinuses. I think it was because I got breast implants which made him feel contempt towards me. I could see it in his face, eyes and hear it.

I forget what my message number was, but I’m the one who liked your plane flying black kitty. If you say you’re dizzy a lot, which you are I’m sure, that should push your insurance to agree to lots of hours of home health nurses. You must focus on food intake and water. Of course you will paint again. My best wishes,

by Anonymousreply 523December 6, 2018 8:58 AM

R523. Nice post. Obviously you have a lot of recovery wisdom to share with OP. You sound good, gurl.

God morning OP.. Here's wishing you peace today as you take your next step in recovery, this time with your dentist. Kindly let us know how it gies.

by Anonymousreply 524December 6, 2018 1:42 PM

Good Evening OP - Hoping you had a good visit with the dentist and that everything is on track. Most of all, I hope your shoulder pain has been fixed. Look forward to your news when able. Sleep well and peacefully.

by Anonymousreply 525December 6, 2018 8:30 PM

OP here. I just got back from the dentist, and he does not foresee any trouble with my teeth during radiation, which is good news. I did not want to have teeth pulled on top of everything else I'm dealing with.

I am pretty much finished with invasive procedures at this point. The upcoming appointments are mostly consultations before I start radiation and therapy, so I am glad that is over with. Now I can just start the hard stuff and get it over with.

R523. I had to go to several doctors before I found one who would do a biopsy. They all had diagnosis that I just knew were incorrect. One doctor, too, changed his meeting notes to reflect that he told me I needed a biopsy, when he told me in the meeting that I did not. I always held doctors in high regard, so it was disappointing to discover that they consistently misdiagnosed my ailment, and, in one case, out and out lied. I am thankful I have a team I trust 10000% percent.

by Anonymousreply 526December 6, 2018 8:34 PM

Wonderful news, dear OP!. What a relief for you - Now you are full steam ahead. Hope you are maintaining your weight - with the tube now.

by Anonymousreply 527December 6, 2018 8:41 PM

Good news, OP. Another reason to take care of one's teeth.

by Anonymousreply 528December 6, 2018 9:07 PM

Great news about your teeth, OP. Thanks for keeping us posted. :)

by Anonymousreply 529December 7, 2018 4:50 PM

keep a stiff upper lib, as I recall my early 60's, it was one of my body part that could still do that. Now at 77 I'm not sure even that part works after all the lupron I've been injected with.

by Anonymousreply 530December 8, 2018 4:08 AM

Ah a lot has happened in a week. OP, we are here for you. May I suggest (I can even send it to you if you like) getting Biafine? It's specifically made to prevent or heal radiation burns (also great if you get your face lasered off or even sunburns). I've had several friends who have been radiated who swears by this:

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by Anonymousreply 531December 8, 2018 5:20 PM

OP here/ Thank you R531. I had not heard of that before, but just now ordered some. Thank you for the recommendation.

by Anonymousreply 532December 8, 2018 9:49 PM

How are you OP? You must be understandably emotionally exhausted but you are an inspiration to me.

by Anonymousreply 533December 8, 2018 9:57 PM

Here's hoping you're feeling a bit better, OP, and are enjoying a soothing, restorative weekend.

by Anonymousreply 534December 9, 2018 7:41 PM

Good TV Sunday, OP. Here's wishing you a lovely peaceful evening.

by Anonymousreply 535December 9, 2018 7:59 PM

Thinking of you, OP, and wishing you well!

by Anonymousreply 536December 10, 2018 6:39 AM

Hi OP, hugs for the beginning of the week...

by Anonymousreply 537December 10, 2018 11:38 AM

OP, I hope you are getting some rest this week. When does the chemo start?

by Anonymousreply 538December 10, 2018 10:11 PM

OP here. Today was a bit of a trying day. I had meetings with a bunch of different doctors -- pain management, radiation specialist, stomach feed tube follow up, etc -- and those days wear me out. I feel beat down by the end of the day. I also had a few setbacks. I'm supposed to have a hard mask made of my face, which I will wear for each radiation session, so they can better zero in on precisely where they need to zap me. They also run a scan while the mask is setting. And...I panicked. I did not expect it to be as constricting as it was, nor did I expect it to take as long as it did. I couldn't continue it, so I will have to go back tomorrow, and redo it, but with the assistance of Valium. There is no way I could do it without some sort of sedative. So...wish me luck.

I also found out that there is at least a 25% chance that the cancer can come back. That seems extremely high to me. If it does come back, I cannot imagine putting myself through this again. So...here's hoping it does not.

by Anonymousreply 539December 11, 2018 3:53 AM

OP, they should have mentioned the Valium for today, that's on them, not you. You've got this, don't let the numbers get you down, but look at it as you've got a 75% chance you've kicked it to the curb... those odds are good! Keep your strength up and just let the stress and worry only take up a small part of your day... then take heart that you are past the worst of it.

by Anonymousreply 540December 11, 2018 4:23 AM

Hey OP, one of my friends was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and some spots on her liver- she decided to go the natural route with cannabis, mushrooms (not the magic kind), organic everything, as well as doing all that crazy new age stuff like sound baths and ecstatic dancing. Surprisingly she's in remission, the spots are shrunk and has been clear for 5 scans. If you want, I can try to get a list of the the stuff she takes, to prevent that worrisome %25 chance to come back.

by Anonymousreply 541December 11, 2018 12:03 PM

P.S.- it's been 2 years since she's been diagnosed, and actually the spots on her liver are gone.

by Anonymousreply 542December 11, 2018 12:05 PM

Sending virtual hugs, OP -- this all sounds very taxing, but look at you: you're getting through it!

Once you start to put weight back on and absorb more nutrients from the feeding tube, days like yesterday will hopefully not be as exhausting for you.

by Anonymousreply 543December 11, 2018 2:13 PM

Look where you were OP when you started this thread, and look at the progress you have made! Keep going.....and focus on 'today' only. I hope you're getting as good a night's sleep as you can. I wish we could magically appear beside you to give you a massive Group Hug.....

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by Anonymousreply 544December 11, 2018 3:50 PM

R541 -- I would love to know what she's done. I embrace western and alternative medicines. In a situation like this, I felt I had no choice but to go the tradition route and have the tumor removed, etc, but, leading up to that, I had the mushroom coffee, dandelion root, CBC oil, etc. I think there are some natural products that can, indeed, be helpful.

by Anonymousreply 545December 11, 2018 7:06 PM

That metal mesh head positioning restraint is difficult for many. Usually Adavan is made available to allow you to relax for the length of your treatment. If one is the least claustrophobic that mask can set one off. Didn't the tech who took your facial impressions give you a "heads up" warning? Are they use a laser knife to deliver your radiation? My treatment required the I have body cast made for my upper body so I felt far less restricted that you with that 'fencing mask' restricting you by your head. Best thoughts that this goes by quickly for you.

by Anonymousreply 546December 11, 2018 11:50 PM

Good evening, OP. Yeah my brother had the same experience with the making of the facial mask. He had to go back a second time . Later down the road he panicked again during an MRI with the mask on because he refused valium. I think he suffered more than he needed to during his recovery because he didn't want to take meds

Re the 25% number thrown at you, you know, one has to not pay much attention. Sure, initially it sounds frightening . My brother was told 45% and 20 years later he's still good. One just carries on step by step day by day.

I hope somebody accompanied you to your doctor s meetings as there's a lot of info to learn/forget in those meetings.

by Anonymousreply 547December 12, 2018 12:32 AM

OP here. I bring my friend Lauren with me to most of the doctor meetings. I get overwhelmed and freaked out at them, so I hear and retain only the frightening things, but not the useful information. She is fantastic: she writes down everything and types it up for future reference. She has been invaluable.

I went back today and had the scan and mask completed. I asked the doctor why he did not suggest or even tell me about valium, given that it is very common for people to suffer from claustrophobia when having the procedure done, and he just stammered. I told him that he needs to know that I suffer from claustrophobia and anxiety in situations like that, and I can be easily overwhelmed, and that if there is a way to make procedure less painful, he needs to let me know. I asked him if I need to wear the mask for all 30 of my radiation treatments, and he said I did, and I asked what plan he has for minimizing my anxiety and claustrophobia, and he did not have one. I asked him to come up with a plan, because I would not be able to wear the mask for 15 minutes at a time without some way to alleviate my anxiety.

I certainly can not be his first patient to freak out about being constrained by the mask. I know that helping the patient feel more comfortable might take more planning and more of his time, but he really does need to take his patients' comfort into account.

And: i found out that my first day of radiation is December 26, and my first day or chemo is the 27th. Merry Christmas to me! :)

by Anonymousreply 548December 12, 2018 1:49 AM

Glad to hear that your friend Lauren accompanies you to most doctor meetings and that she helps you to remember all the useful info! Also great that you questioned your doctor regarding the lack of warning about anxiety and claustrophobia caused by the mask: I hope he comes up with a good plan for your treatment and that the plan/meds work to lessen your anxiety! In addition to meds, is there music that helps you feel calm? If so, you could ask if it's possible to have that music played: research has apparently shown that it can benefit patients. All the best with your treatment and love from Belgium.

by Anonymousreply 549December 12, 2018 12:21 PM

Hi OP- I have been reading through this thread for weeks and I want you to know that you are SO brave and so inspiring . You are going through hell right now(temporary) but you have so much courage and a quiet humor and strength dealing with this fucked up situation . I can feel from my soul that you will get through this horror with a complete clean bill of health. Do not be a martyr ! Take the pain meds if you are in pain, take the anti anxiety meds for the radiation treatments. If you are emotional, let the tears, anger etc out!! And most importantly, focus on healing and distract yourself with movies, Youtube, Netflix .. etc etc. God bless you OP. Praying for you .

by Anonymousreply 550December 12, 2018 9:19 PM

OP- Focus on spring time next year. You will be done and healed . Also, enjoy the season of Christmas . Don;'t let the anticipation and fear ruin your present moment. I have a friend who said that chemo and radiation was not nearly as bad as she thought it would be. The medical community has made great strides in zapping those cancer cell bastards and of course better comfort meds.

by Anonymousreply 551December 12, 2018 9:30 PM

Wishing you a soothing and (as) stress-free (as possible) weekend, OP!

I hope you're feeling a bit better and that you can relax with something that brings you joy or comfort.

by Anonymousreply 552December 14, 2018 10:52 AM

Op, I just found your thread and I wanted to tell you that you are so brave and you are a hero to me. It takes courage to cope with everything you are dealing with. You are cared for and I am glad there are people in your life helping you. Maybe you can get into a cancer support group later, if and when you are up to it and interested.

You have created a special thread here, so much love, support and warmth, and that is saying something. I feel that people would be blessed to have you in their life.

Much Healing Energy to You!

-Thrilled to see the Percy op here too. DL Christmas Magic strikes again.

by Anonymousreply 553December 14, 2018 11:56 AM

r553- May you be blessed. You are a good soul .

by Anonymousreply 554December 14, 2018 9:47 PM

Op! How are you ?

by Anonymousreply 555December 14, 2018 10:00 PM

OP here. R553, what a sweet post. I'm glad you found this, and what a wonderful comparison to last year's Percy post. It's amazing that it's been a year since Percy found his way into someone's life. And, to answer a question, I am 61.

This week was almost a respite. It didn't have as many hospital appointments as I usually have, but I have a ton next week, and, after that, I start radiation and chemo, which I am understandably anxious about.

Thank you to those who think I am brave, but I don't feel particularly brave. I think what I might be is fearless, and I am not sure that is the same thing. I see what I have to do, and I do it. If it works, great; if it doesn't, well, at least I tried, and it's not as though I had much choice. All anyone can do is plough ahead and hope for the best, and accept the outcome if it is less than that.

As always, thank you for your kind words.

by Anonymousreply 556December 15, 2018 12:19 AM

Thank you for your news OP. Thinking about you everytime I open this site. Wishing you a calm and relaxing weekend.

by Anonymousreply 557December 15, 2018 1:23 AM

I am [r553].

op, I am so sorry that you are going through this. You deserve health care. Medical and support. I know this is just virtual, but I support you too. I am so glad that you decided to go with medical treatment. You are a honest person and an AMAZING person, just tell us all how it truly is to go through this journey that no one would sign up for.

I wish you a very Happy Holiday Season with much healing to you. Thank you for sharing your journey to us all, this is brave. You deserve health care, including support. You are a VERY VERY GOOD and SPECIAL PERSON. THIS IS TRUE. I know it.

I love you Op!

by Anonymousreply 558December 15, 2018 2:21 AM

Sending good vibes your way, OP. Thank you for keeping us informed.

by Anonymousreply 559December 15, 2018 2:44 AM

I've looked high and low and can't find the original Percy thread. Does anyone have a link?

by Anonymousreply 560December 16, 2018 3:45 AM

R560 I think this is the original Percy thread. There may have been more though.

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by Anonymousreply 561December 16, 2018 5:30 AM

Op, just here to say hi and to check on you.. Hope you are resting and healing.

by Anonymousreply 562December 18, 2018 12:28 AM

R541 What did she eat/take exactly?

by Anonymousreply 563December 18, 2018 12:36 AM

R563, she made 3 videos on YouTube detailing her whole process.....if you want to set up a temporary/dummy email account, I can forward those links for you.

by Anonymousreply 564December 18, 2018 3:23 PM

Can you post the links here?

by Anonymousreply 565December 18, 2018 3:31 PM

How are you OP?

by Anonymousreply 566December 20, 2018 5:46 PM

Yes, news from OP please!

by Anonymousreply 567December 20, 2018 6:52 PM

I re-read OP's last post and he mentioned that he "had a ton next week" wrt appointments. Maybe OP is busy and exhausted from this week.

by Anonymousreply 568December 20, 2018 6:56 PM

OP here. I just got back from having my very last appointment and test until radiation starts, on the 26th. For those who have never gone through something like this, there is nothing more punishingly exhausting than spending the day at the hospital, going from one room to another, being poked and prodded by a revolving group of doctors. I am thrilled that the tests are over, and I'm looking forward to starting radiation, which means I will be on the final lap towards getting better.

I will remain overwhelmed at the kindness and support and encouragement from everyone on here. I can't thank you enough.

by Anonymousreply 569December 20, 2018 7:51 PM

Hey OP. Congratulations for this next step. I know exactly what these exams are like. It takes a bit of humor to get through them, doesn't it.? I recall my brother's very hairy upper torso was entirely shaved for chemo during one such visit (he had a port installed). I told him he looked like Daffy Duck after the bomb went off He laughed so vigorously that he begged me to stop because it was quite painful for him to laugh But a bit of humor is essential, from my observation at least.

How's your tongue doing? Are you able to speak? I imagine the pain is a bit better.

You 're sounding good, OP.

by Anonymousreply 570December 20, 2018 11:37 PM

Congratulations on passing another mile marker on your road to recovery, OP!

I hope you continue to feel better/stronger over the next week, and can relax and rest up.

by Anonymousreply 571December 20, 2018 11:42 PM

Happy Holidays, OP. Thank you for sharing what you're going through. I hope when my time comes, I can handle it as well as you are.

by Anonymousreply 572December 20, 2018 11:58 PM

Keep it goin' OP! We're right here when you want to celebrate, vent, and eveything in between. Are you maintaining your weight?

by Anonymousreply 573December 21, 2018 1:11 AM

OP, so happy you are done with the tests and on your way to radiation and recovery. I think about you often, and look for updates every time I visit DL. We are here for you and wishing you well.

by Anonymousreply 574December 21, 2018 2:06 AM

I've been travelling, and am glad to see OP's updates and that there is a spark of kindness in the tiny shrivelled black tarry heart of DL. For those wanting my friend's link, I was hesitant to post it because I didn't want some nuts harassing her, but it's out there in the open anyway, and if it can help people, who am I to deny it?

So she's very new agey and coincidentally lives in the Bay Area (doesn't dry clean though)-this was about when she was diagnosed:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 575December 21, 2018 4:17 PM

This is a video about recommend reading:

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by Anonymousreply 576December 21, 2018 4:18 PM

This is a video about what to eat:

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by Anonymousreply 577December 21, 2018 4:19 PM

This is two years later:

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by Anonymousreply 578December 21, 2018 4:20 PM

Dear Op,

Here's to renewed health and happiness in 2019!

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by Anonymousreply 579December 21, 2018 6:34 PM

OP here. I just suffered an awful setback.

I thought I was through with tests, and on my way to the final stretch of radiation. My doctor called me today and told me that the last test showed what could be on the part of my tongue that they didn't remove. There is a ten percent chance that it is a tumor. I have to have yet more tests next week before they start radiation, and, if it is indeed a tumor, the radiation dosage will be significantly higher.

I am completely demoralized by this. I don't want a lifetime of tests and worrying if they will show more cancer. This has really thrown me. Here's hoping that it is not a tumor.

by Anonymousreply 580December 21, 2018 7:14 PM

I would say treat the tests as something else to get through before the radiation and dismiss any other thoughts for the moment. The chance that it will be cancerous is low, but it's something that has to be checked out just in case. Just treat it as a minor blip unless there is actual cause to do otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 581December 21, 2018 7:32 PM

That's just it OP - They're working to having it all removed so there won't be a lifetime of tests. As hard as it is to absorb right now, better that they be extra cautious - err on the side of caution.

by Anonymousreply 582December 21, 2018 7:40 PM

10% is great odds! You have come this far, please don't give up. I think of you often and pray.

by Anonymousreply 583December 21, 2018 8:16 PM

What r583 said. You've come so far in such a short period of time, you can't let this get you. Keep up the pace - and you will also move past this.

Inspiration: A paraglider flies over a mountain in Engelberg, central Switzerland, on December 15, 2018.

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by Anonymousreply 584December 21, 2018 8:35 PM

Sending big hugs, OP, and good thoughts for a clean test.

I'm with R582 and R583 -- much better to get everything done and checked and, if needed, taken care of now, in one fell swoop. Them finding and testing that curious spot now is exactly why they run the tests: to make sure they treat everything that needs treating, so that everything is out and gone.

As a perpetual worrier and anxious person myself, I know it's much easier to say the above than to actually accept or believe it, but I'm saying it nonetheless. :-)

by Anonymousreply 585December 21, 2018 8:45 PM

OP - We are nearing 600 posts. If you wish, I can start a Part II as we get nearer. Up to you!

by Anonymousreply 586December 21, 2018 8:46 PM

We need a special message from Christmas Moose.

by Anonymousreply 587December 21, 2018 8:48 PM

Good thinking/planning, R586!

OP, the fact that your thread is nearing 600 posts of love, support and kindness -- on the DL, no less! -- is something to celebrate. :-)

I'm sure everyone here would love to continue cheering you on...

by Anonymousreply 588December 21, 2018 9:04 PM

Part 2 link.

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by Anonymousreply 589December 21, 2018 9:27 PM

OP my brother had the very same experience at about the same period of time after surgery . Turned out to be scar tissue, not a tumor .

You just have to keep the faith and roll with the punches and take it one day at a time. Things are not always what they seem.

Here's wishing you a peaceful night.

by Anonymousreply 590December 22, 2018 1:31 AM

Sending love to OP.

by Anonymousreply 591December 22, 2018 3:48 AM

Sending you positive thoughts and good vibes! Good luck with everything and hang tough! We are thinking of you and wishing you well.

Happy holidays to everyone in this thread.

by Anonymousreply 592December 22, 2018 5:54 AM

I'm hoping you woke up feeling a little less down today. In the heat of a moment, it's natural to 'default' and think the worst. I don't see the downside yet - low suspicion - and you get to move quickly forward as per your plan.

Steady and One Day at a Time.

by Anonymousreply 593December 22, 2018 3:53 PM

How are you doing today, OP?

by Anonymousreply 594December 22, 2018 4:05 PM

Just in case anyone missed it upthread, the conversation is continuing in a Part II thread, linked below.

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by Anonymousreply 595December 22, 2018 10:32 PM

Thank you, r595.

by Anonymousreply 596December 22, 2018 10:43 PM
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