Dinner for 70-odd people on a budget

Ramen for everyone!

You could serve Saltines and Pop-Tarts.

Does White Castle do catering?

Do a grits bar! Cheap and delicious.

Fortunely, odd people rarely are big eaters.

I wanted to do more than just finger foods so I was think like vegetable fried rice or something?

You can really WOW! your guests with presentation.

Lasagne

Rice!

Sorry, don't think you can. I am assuming you will have beverages. Even if it's only beer and wine you're over budget. Around her (So. Calif) a lot of parties have taco bars. The cheapest is 10 bucks a person. That's for food only.

Bottom line: more money or less people. Sorry.

I don't think you could feed 70 on that budget. How about cheese and Wine. Do you have a Costco near by?

Or, maybe spaghetti, bread and a salad?

Corn on the cob!

Simple buffet: 9 Pans of Stouffer's Lasagna (meat and vegetable),crusty loaf Bread and a huge bucket of salad. Sheet cake. Doable for $300.

Some helpful tips on how to feed large numbers.

Baked macaroni and cheese with something added to it to give it a gourmet twist.

Ju could serve Guatemalan Peasant Soup.

Baloney sandwiches. And you'll have leftovers for days after!

People...beverages for 70. Do the math. Can't be done even with ramen and Spam.

Baked potatoes

How old are these people, OP?

Could you grill hotdogs, burgers and chips then have everyone bring their own beverages?

what's so odd about them?

tell them to each bring a dish. problem solved

JIM BAKKER'S BUCKETS!

Maybe do a dessert- cakes and pies, and coffee? Costco has great cakes and pies.

Or, you could put the money in a Roth IRA, are you saving for retirement, OP?

R21 yes, call it a cook off and challenge everyone to bring their best dish. You judge and award a BS prize and it barely cost you anything.

I do not plan on serving alcohol of any kind--that is why I believe the budget is doable.

r 20-I like the BBQ idea esp since I do not have the utensils to make the fried rice for that many people

Little Caesar’s pizza.

I am currently unemployed and this is a networking group my niche--doing this hoping to make a connection that can lead to employment

Pasta dishes and salad? If that includes the drink budget, you're screwed. But, $350 is a lot of food from the grocery store unless you're trying to serve everyone their own cut of meat.

You could do cold cuts, cheese and an assortment of bread. Go to costco, smart and final or similar. You actually could just hor d'ouevres (sp). I think there are some great ideas already - also look at party size frozen foods that offer a selection. I think it is very doable and you can make it fun. You could do a taco bar, with frozen enchaillada's, rice etc.

Good luck and I know it will be a success!!

Being cheap and serving crap food won't help your networking. I think you're being too ambitious with this.

Why would anyone who's not a devout Christian attend a party with no booze?

I mean it in the best way possible. If you want to impress step down a notch.

BBQ for that number would be a logistical nightmare.

There's no booze? Sorry, I didn't read all the responses before I referenced booze.

No one does a dinner party for 70 people. 70 people? Are you nuts?

Make it a pre-dinner "aperitivo": wine, cheese , bruschetta...that sort of thing.

You've only got a budget of $5 per person.

I have a bad feeling about this.

70 people is a lot of people. Have you ever hosted anything? I insist that you're being too ambitious.

Either gather them for booze only no food. That's more realistic if you cut the guest list in half.

R33 is right. I thought OP was just using "dinner" to mean "evening gathering with food." Just do appetizers, cheeses, etc. It's your only hope.

Put a big pot on the stove. Put in some beef and I onions and cook beef on both sides. Then add kidney beans, sweet kernel corn, diced tomatoes, and tomato sauce. Stir. Then add a packet of Taco seasoning. Stir. Simmer for 20 minutes. Make about 15 pots of this. Serve with sour cream, lettuce, grated cheddar cheese, and Fritos.

OP you want a job spend that money on a new outfit for job interviews and get back to looking for a position instead of having your baloney sandwich party.

"and onions" I mean

If it were a chill group of people, pizza and beer would be a great idea. But, I have a feeling OP needs to do something less basic.

Only listen to R37 if you are hosting this soiree in a trailer park.

Call it a "North Korean Theme Party" and give a handful of cooked rice to everyone. Maybe some moss and/or tree bark on the side.

Choice of Chicken a la King or Turkey Meatballs.

Lasagna with cottage cheese and ground beef.

Baked potato bar with Velveeta melt and bacon-flavored bits.

Selection of fine boxed wines.

Dessert:raisin pudding or tapioca.

You can't serve dinner - but depending on the time of day and the situation, you can get platters of croissant sandwiches from Costco or similar places - I have seen ads for an amount of sandwiches for $30 serving 16/20 people , which works out to about $1.50/person. Total: $120-150. Fill several large size plastic salad bowls with salads from bags (3 pound bag of iceberg.carrot, and red cabbage salad for about $3, and you'd need probably 10 of them, plus some bottles of dressing.) Total: $40-60 Soft drinks and bags of ice, plastic cups, paper plates. $60 Some chips or tortillas in bowls. $30 That's about it. No dessert, unless the plainest of sheet cakes as mentioned above

Good luck. It's going to seem more like a tupperware party than anything else, but that's your budget.

Do you have to front for these people? If you don't; if they're down to earth, then just make that part of the pitch - tell them up front it's an "on a budget" get together and let them laugh with you.

Serious answer, OP

Make it an informal gathering and given the heat, people always show up for booze and SOCIALIZE more:

5 large cases of Beer = $200 for 120 bottles of beer (soft drinks, lemonade)

Chips & dips & veggies = $150

Where are you doing this, your house? Where are you fitting 70 people, or even 35?

What is your relationship to these people? Young friends you’d have a beer with? Older executive type people? You are not going to impress fifty year olds with a $5 a person party. Why this 70? Is this everyone you know in your field?

You need to narrow down your efforts to just a few people. Can you go to a convention or other trade event and network there instead? Or a seminar or workshop in your field? Spend the money on yourself, not cheap food for people who are financially secure, while you are not, and who will be offended by cheapness and not care about your financial straits.

This seems like a really scattershot way to do this. Try to find a way to focus your efforts a little more towards people that can actually help you. Not just random people who will help themselves to your food and go home. Some people may find this awkward and then want to avoid you, which is the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. You’d be better off organizing a baseball game or charity event and inviting people in your field to participate. That would make you seem like a good organizer and somebody in control.

This seems too desperate.

Do a baked potato bar but also include a large salad LARGE as everything you put on a potato you can put on a salad. Have iced tea, lemonade, and water for beverages. Don't skimp but you know some won't show.

Krafts mac and cheese and fresca. Oreos for dessert.

If you did organize a charity event, you would have an excuse to be cheap on the food and make yourself seem like a great guy. Some people might be attracted to that and want to help you with your career.

Do you have any friends that would help you with this?

Do a tea instead...just have sandwiches cut in small pieces and cookies

If it's a legitimate charity with tax status you might be able to get the food donated.

Hope you haven't let these people know of the event. Based on a %300 budget, you're gonna have to call the whole thing off.

As others have said, the budget is too tight. I'd go with lasagne or some pasta based dish - mac and cheese, lemon and ricotta linguine, etc. - and the basics of salad and bread. But that budget is gonna need to stretch.

This sounds like something Lucy would do.

Fancy pants drinks on the cheap!

Start by going to the dumpster of a fancy pants restaurant. Get all empty fancy pants bottles of water they sell for $10, and refill from your tap.

Looks expensive, costs little to nothing, and no one will know the difference.

Except me. So do NOT invite me.

Do you have a purpose for meeting? Other than the obvious? Do you think you will impress people by asking them to take time out of their personal (busy) schedules to come and give you job tips? I don't think this strategy will produce the results that you anticipated.

Even if they show up, you only want an hour or two with them. That is about as much time as you will get since you don't have anything particularly enticing to offer - food-wise. As mentioned, I would do this:

1. Don't cook anything for cost and quality reasons

2. Stick to cold food - but here again, you can't afford much

3 Better off with chips, veggies and dip (as previously mentioned)

4. Beer, lemonade, pop

Don’t skip the liquor. People get much more relaxed and open with it, You stay sober and charm the socks off the important connections, Serve boxed wine poured into expensive wine bottles if you have to.

Place beer and drink in buckets. Will give a festive, summery vibe to the gathering. And make people feel like they're at a party, not a network function.

If OP promised a dinner then he needs to have food. Finger foods are not dinner. Stouffers lasagna is a good idea. Get a cheap leafy green salad to go with it. Cut lasagna portions small. Use small plates to balance it out.

Are the guests cannibals? If so, kill one and eat him/her.

Veggies and dip idea.

Where are guests going to sit to eat small serving of lasagna? Does OP have seating for 60 to 70 people?

Oh Hon, your budget is only $5 for each guest! Better plan another party, less "networking." So you'll need 80+ napkins, plates, glasses, implements and there goes your budget!

Think one beverage, no open bar. It's your party, guests will have to have what's served up …. do what I did once, only pour "champagne" and Pellegrino for the non-drinkers … get a sparkling wine, if you figure two-three glasses each for your guests 36 bottles will do, three cases. You'll need more booze. Make the entree something soft and easy to eat, no carving utensils needed, Lasagna? Something one-dish, don't bother with "salad" or breads.

I like the idea of a dessert party, coffee. Big selection of sweets! Buy them. And think about it OP, you don't have equipment to fix anything for over 70 people.

Only beer and chili? Fun for friends only. Fae it Hon, you're overreaching.

Go to a nearby market. They've a deli. Price out them making you several large, Large, trays of lasagna. And scale back.

Buy $350 worth of lube and see where it goes.

I could feed 70 people for 2 months on $350.

and...don't forget to dust off your finest caftan.

Do you have many stray cats in your area? Meow Goo Gai Pan.

r65 is on to something.....

70 people are going to eat the same way 70 people are going to drink.

By some standing around and some sitting.

Or, maybe, call it "The Hunger Games Party" and have people fight each other for food.

If he serves drinks, what is the most basic food people would accept? Chex mix, lol? Popcorn, probably not? Probably meat, cheese, crackers?

This has to be drink OR food focused and I'm voting or drinks.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone

Its obvious to me that I have not thought this through. Thankfully I have not agreed to anything so I need to rethink what I can do

I was going to host it at the pool area of my complex

Pretend you're Anthony Bourdain and hunt wild chickens to cook.

A cheeseboard, olives, crusty bread, something like pavlova for dessert, and some wines and beers would go down better than some cheap basic dinner, in my opinion. I don't think you can do a decent dinner party on that budget, so why try?

I like R75's idea. Wine and beer and the food he mentions.

Make it a pot luck. That way people bring what they like and bear the cost. If it's a flop, you won't be asked to entertain again.

2 words: POT. LUCK.

A tray of Sausage and Peppers, penna a La vodka and maybe chicken cacciatore. Some chips and dip and a couple of cold cut/cheese platters. Basic stuff, but easy peasy and a crowd pleaser.

One word: potluck.

OP, the solution is simple. Add a zero to the end of our budget number. Then you can actually serve dinner. I have no idea where the people will sit, however. Are you renting a banquet hall? Are people just showing up at a public park and using the picnic tables?

Alsi, A couple of boxes of wine. ^R79

I think we are being trolled.

That said, home brewed ice tea and powdered lemonade are your cheap beverage options.

A meal can be heavy on tossed green salad, with a main course of pasta primavera and garlic bread.

I'm with R75. I'd rather wear jeans and a t-shirt than a cheap dress.

Are you Aussie, r77 by any chance?

Meant r75

BBQ. Just sausages and get some bread, not rolls. Sauce is cheap. The I would get a bag of potatoes, 5kilos and a couple bottles of sauce and make potato salad and also some pasta to make pasta salad. However, don't forget you will need plastic plates, knives, forks etc, and there is good $25.

It will all end in tears, OP. Mostly yours.

Nasty, r87.

Don't forget the Chinet!

Sundae Bar!!

OP can't afford Chinet with his budget.

OP, if you've never prepped/cooked/set up for a large party, you don't know what you're getting yourself into. You'd be better off to start with entertaining just a dozen, and getting a feel for just how much work is involved. For seventy people, you'd need at least one, preferably two other people lending a hand, especially if you intend to circulate and socialize with your guests. Doing it alone, you'd be too busy and too tired to mingle and chat.

Tears for OP before it even starts.

OP has hired a couple of retired "butlers" to help, r93.

You could throw a tostada party. For the meat option debone some rostiserre chickens and mix with enchilada sauce; and ground beef with canned vegetables. Could be done with $350.

With that budget you need a ouidja board to channel the ghost of Auntie Fee. And find your closest Dollar Tree store.

OP prepping the pool.

Cut the guest list by 30.

Moonshine and grits.

Start by going fishing

Aussie theme.

I’ve had fall/winter gatherings with salad, homemade soup and bread with pie for dessert, which were relatively cheap.

My cheapest and unexpectedly best gathering was a dessert only event where I served a variety of homemade cakes, tartes, and truffles with coffee and tea.

A good BBQ or charcuterie/cheese/wine combo are both very expensive from my experience, especially for 70 people. For a pool party, you could keep it simple and serve beer and hotdogs with a salad, but I would make sure not to call it dinner on the invite.

I always tell people exactly what to expect, because nothing is worse than hungry guests who don’t like your food.

Can you bake, OP?

Chiclets.

I am trying to get these people to get me a job where they work so no Vegemite on toast doesn't work (esp since I am in big D)

Can you bake, OP?

Careful there OP, by a pool? You don't want your guests all liquored up pushing others in the pool.

Ina Garten did a good buffet for an art gallery opening. She did spanakopita, alongside a cheese board, and a couple of side dishes. The trick is to keep it simple, serve only 2 or 3 items and try to think of something thats cheap but looks a bit impressive. Dress it up with some green salad and fresh fruit.

Ambrosia and gin.

Tears and regret.

Gruel.

What type of crowd are you trying to gather, OP? Non profit? Teachers? Labourers?

I read a book, really quite a good book, that referenced this situation. The takeaway was something to do with loaves and fishes. Everybody went home satisfied!

Beer and pretzels, that’s it.

Just listen to Auntie Fee.

Will you have background music, OP?

OP, do you have any friends who also want to network and might be willing to co-host with you? That would increase your budget.

Gurl! You can do this. Figure 4 people per chicken. Get 18 $5 chickens from Costco. $90. Make a huge mixed greens salad. Make some spaghetti sauce with penne pasta, Naan bread for garlic toast. You might want a melange of roasted brussel sprouts, carrots, zucchini and red peppers, etc. And either potato salad or roasted white & sweet potatoes. For Dessert cake fruit pies and ice cream And no, you won't. This is not high end, gourmet fancy. It's real basic, Middle America peoria Church social kind of fare, but on your budget you can feed them and they will be happy. And if you're doing it outside it'll be like an old fashioned picnic. Tell people to wear 50' style clothes. To go with the menu. LOL! Drinks? Iced Tea and Lemonade. Or BYOB.

I don't think OP wants that kind of 50's fun, retro "clothes" vibe. I think these people / guests are potential future employers so professionalism is key. He's desperately looking for work, r119.

Maybe the Niece Troll will give you his delicious chicken a la king recipe and lend you his vintage Avon bottles to impress your guests with.

Don't forget the pound cake from the DT!

Fine, R 120. OP, go with a Mediterranean theme. Make your own spanakopita. Easy. Go to Costco. Get three large containers of fresh spinach. Get grated Romano cheese. A large tub or two of crumbled Feta cheese. Get some refrigerated phyllo dough from the supermarket. Saute' your spinach with minced garlic. Then drain it thoroughly. You put some fresh dill, a few eggs, salt pepper and nutmeg in and mix everything together. Lay a few sheets of dough on a cookie sheet, spread your spinach filling, then cover it with a few sheets of dough and stick it in the oven for maybe 30-40 minutes. Then after it cools, cut it in squares and serve it. Get a few tubs of humus and some pita chips. Olives. Oh and yeah, get the rotisserie chickens, cut them up in 4-6 pieces, sprinkle some oregano and garlic powder on them. slice up a few lemons and some roasted red onions. Drizzle them with olive oil and put it in the oven for about 25 minutes. Do the roasted vegetables, and for dessert, serve various sorbets and a tray of cookies from an ethnic bakery. Red wine, white wine and Iced tea.

How would you keep the Costco chickens hot? A bug salad needs a big expensive bowl!

R123 You're over budget Mr.

Here's what you do OP: make it lunch, not dinner.

Buy a giant sub (aka hero or grinder) enough to feed 70 people along with some soft drinks. Maybe splurge for Jones Soda or something that looks Klassy like that. And get colorful paper plates and napkins

Bring in a speaker, someone who can talk for about 20 minutes on a topic that would be of interest to your networking group. People love to do that shit for free and you've got a sizable audience--70 people.

Also-- are you inviting 70 people? If so, you can expect somewhere between 35 and 50 to show up.

OP go to your local food pantry and see if they have the giant industrial size blocks of Velveeta cheese if they have crackers you're one step ahead. If there's no booze what are you serving for drinks?

Wriggly's still has packs of gum for 35 cents each. Let them chew away and you'll have plenty left over.

If you want to splurge let then each get to pick two choices from a 99 cent menu and a small drink.

Add a splash of Vodka to everything. No one ever knows and everyone ends up having a wonderful time.

At first glance I read the OP as 70 old people -- was going to suggest something easy like a quiche.

Then I saw it as 70-odd people. Quiche may still work, but OP you ought find out a bit more about them and any food allergies, etc.

Think about one of Cathy Mitchell's classy Dump Dinners!

OP is an Extraordinarily Silly Tease.

Make large bowls of punch with cheap vodka and lots of juice.

Canapees.

Or is it cansapee?

If you have $300 to $350 to spend, and you build your dinner around rotisserie chickens which you can docotor up and season so they fit any menu, you will have a nice dinner.

I still don’t understand how 70 people will fit in a basement apartment.

Stir Fry is dirt cheap if you don't mind the chopping, you get a large quantity with comparably few ingredients. Any cheap veg, canned beans etc. You can throw ramen in there too. You only need a small amount of meat.

OP, do you live in a neighborhood with a lot of pets? Just asking.

The annual Costco member fee is $60. Why do so many people on this thread assume the OP is a member, especially when he’s desperately unemployed?

OP here with more information..

Three of us job seekers are to get together and organize this. The event has a guest speaker and is from 6-8 pm with drinks (the other two are providing) and I am responsible for providing appetizer-type foods.

I feel so much better. Thanks for all of your suggestions (serious and humorous alike!)

OP, Road Kill Stew is your only hope.

Well if OP isn't a member then he must know someone who is.

All of these elaborate prep and cooking ideas are stupid for an outdoor gathering. Some of you are really dumb.

I can't believe people don't think this is enough to feed 70 people. All you need are a few basic go to recipes and some booze and you're golden.

I love this kind of challenge.

I’m a Costco member but if anyone asks me if they could use my membership, I’m always too busy to oblige. No one is suckering me in to spending a full day with anyone prepping for some stupid party they want to throw.

Who the fuck makes a stir fry for a pool party? Homemade spanakopita is just as gross. The responses are funnier than the ridiculous EST. What a bunch of old ladies Datalounge employs.

Flyoverstanis: If someone invited 70 people to a dinner and it turned out they actually cooked the food themselves ... I think everyone would be majorly freaked out, whether it was stir fry or rotisserie chickens or chicken a la king (WTF that is)

Even if it was just grilling hot dogs, that's a fuckload of effort and if you're inviting people to something business-oriented, they do not want to hear your home cooking.

Glad you liked the speaker idea OP. Happy I could help.

Are you homeless, r127?

Michelinas entrees are about a $1 a piece, but they are on the small side so if you buy 100 of them empty them in a huge pan, that would only be $100, leaves you $250 for extras and beverages.

Kinda doubt they work for DL R145

Though it would be hella funny if Muriel was the one suggesting stir fry

r136 = The Ramen Troll.

Is it for lunch or dinner? It depends how fancy it has to be. If it's daytime event, you can cover the basics with 2 large 3 foot hero sandwiches. One with turkey and onewith salami or roast beef. Then you need a large tossed salad, patato sald, two large pickle jars. For drinks 5 large sodas different types, and one orange juice. For desert a few boxes of different Entenmann's pastries or cakes.

Yum!

OP R139 - You just gave the EST away!

Who's your "guest speaker", OP?

Here are a bunch of recipes to serve 100-150 people.

I would not want to attend any party R151 is hosting. Pickles? Entenmanns? No thanks.

r155 is hilarious. For scalloped potatoes recipe, you have to peel 44 pounds of potatoes! LOL!

Here's a 50 pound bag of potatoes, OP.

That's 50 pounds in Canada R158. I don't think it's the same here.

For a large gathering like this I just get prepared foods and doctor them up. Public super market has wonderful potato salad, so I add onions and red bell peppers and a little miracle Whip and some stone ground mustard and that's it. it is always delicious. there is never anything left. And things like Hummus are always popular. If you're doing an outdoor summer party, do a Sangria and a white wine punch with citrus notes, and serve iced tea and lemonade. We always have a cooler filled with small bottles of water too. I'd suggest beer, but that starts getting expensive. The one thing to make sure of is that everything "goes together." If I serve potato salad then I'll want BBQ chicken or hot dogs and hamburgers. Cold pasta salads work too.

Gallons (US/Imperial) are different but pounds are the same.

r159 ......

As long as it looks good and isn't offensive tasting, you'll be fine. It's free food. Most people appreciate that and go in thinking, "if there's something I like, great; if not, no big deal, I'll drink and then eat later."

Why not soup? You can make a huge pot for practically nothing.Some nice rolls or sliced french bread,voila.

I would get the trays of cut up sandwich wraps at Costco and maybe do deviled eggs b4 hand as they are well liked and easy if u have the trays and refrigerator space

Chips and Diet Pepsi.

[quote]As long as it looks good and isn't offensive tasting, you'll be fine. It's free food. Most people appreciate that and go in thinking, "if there's something I like, great; if not, no big deal, I'll drink and then eat later."

If the spread looks stingy, most people say "let's say hello and then split" and then leave your affair. Pasta and salad is guaranteed to run everyone off, especially for those suggesting to put out more salad than pasta. No one wants a fucking salad for dinner. If they say they do, they're lying.

Sheridan and Hyacinth would both be appalled by this. Whatever you do, don't serve kiwi fruit. They are so lower middle class. Serve tea in teacups you purchased at thrift shops, and say they are family heirlooms.

Just hope that nobody wants a crème brulee, and hope they don't want it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not everyone has a Costco card. Why is that a repeated suggestion? Especially if they don't have a job!

Ok, a lot of these ideas are fine if he were throwing something together that just needs to be ‘good enough” for people that will eat anything.

It sounds to me, like he really needs (wants?) to impress these 70 people, because they’ll give him a job. That’s the part that I’m having trouble grasping. Is it a consensus type of thing that will fall in his favor if they are full on cheap food?

I’m really confused by OP’s dilemma.

R139 OP, if the event is from 6-8 PM with a speaker and you are just responsible for appetizers, why are you trying to do dinner? Dinner doesn't even sound appropriate for a networking event like you're describing.

Appetizers for 6-8pm do not sound appropriate, either. That's dinnertime. If it's a weekday, these people will not be getting off until 5 or 6pm. You expect them to eat after 8pm when they leave this event? Wishful thinking. People will show up, see that there's no food, and leave.

OP, thank you for the clarification. If it is appetizer type food, mostly cold appetizers would be easy, especially in the Summer. Hummus is easy to make in quantity. Use canned chic peas. There are different ways to flavor it so you can offer different varieties. See what the prices are at a local supermarket for a sandwich platter.

Cold appetizers in the hot Dallas sun? That will be good, I'm sure. Especially bean dip!

Seriously though, pizzas and salad with fries.

Maybe order pizzas?

Now this has been fun, but a non-job under-40 in some Dallas studio cannot cook, certainly not for 70 people, cannot handle 18 chickens and a melange of roasted brussel sprouts, carrots, zucchini and red peppers is out of his league and budget. Guests will be people working in bars. . And please forget salad. No one goes to a party to eat salad.

Some of the menu suggestions here are really good, for 10 or 12, but way beyond Our Boy's capability.

If it's Dallas, put out cases of cheap beers and empty cans of chili into a big bowl.

Why not go with stuffed crab, and lobster tails?!

do a potluck. THE END

I picture Texans eating a lot.

r181 stand by the door and make sure everyone brings something and if they don't they are out. At my office we have 2 chuckleheads who never contribute to any cake funds or any potlucks but they whine about wanting the biggest slice or prowl the lunch room for leftovers to take home. Don't let this shit happen to you

homemade chilli. Have a vegetarian one and a meat one. Easy to transport to event and serve. Serve it with good bread and sour cream. That will leave you money to pay for everything else - beverages, coffee, some sort of desert. If you have enough you can serve tossed salad. Nothing fancy.

"Appetizers for 6-8pm do not sound appropriate, either. That's dinnertime. If it's a weekday, these people will not be getting off until 5 or 6pm. You expect them to eat after 8pm when they leave this event? Wishful thinking. People will show up, see that there's no food, and leave."

But, people change they're eating schedules all the time depending on the event. OP confirmed that this is an appetizer type affair, not a dinner, and his two friends providing the drinks; so the entire $350 can go towards food. I've been to plenty of evening work[related or professional events where they weren't serving dinner and thought nothing of it. It wasn't weird or improper. Some people just eat apps and skip dinner that day, others might get something light after they leave, while still others will still have a full dinner. Few people expect a full dinner no matter where they are must because it's between 6 and 8 pm.

OP changed his EST from a dinner party to appetizers when it became clear that he had gone beyond believability with his 70 guests for $350. Magically two friends appear to supply the alcohol and a guest speaker at the pool in his "complex." Now he's just serving some apps for a dinner that never happens. Just to keep the old ladies here going through their entertainment resources.

Myself and 3 friends could drink more than $350 around the pool with OP serving in a cocktail dress.

Whatever food choices u choose to go OP with have good, relatable music. Nothing kills a party faster than sucky jams.

"But, people change they're eating schedules ..."

I mean "their" eating schedules

Why would OP impose a pot luck requirement on business people he maybe barely knows, for an evening event, in a place they are unfamiliar with, and are only going to be there an hour or two for the purposes of listening to OP's employment search concerns. Makes no sense.

[quote]But, people change they're eating schedules all the time depending on the event. OP confirmed that this is an appetizer type affair, not a dinner, and his two friends providing the drinks; so the entire $350 can go towards food. I've been to plenty of evening work[related or professional events where they weren't serving dinner and thought nothing of it. It wasn't weird or improper. Some people just eat apps and skip dinner that day, others might get something light after they leave, while still others will still have a full dinner. Few people expect a full dinner no matter where they are must because it's between 6 and 8 pm.

But this is some sort of ill-advised "networking" mixer that is neither work-related nor a professional obligation for the targeted audience.

OP's story = -10/10

True R189. OP, no freakin potluck. That's dumb. That's for a more familial gathering.

[quote]homemade chilli. Have a vegetarian one and a meat one. Easy to transport to event and serve. Serve it with good bread and sour cream. That will leave you money to pay for everything else - beverages, coffee, some sort of desert. If you have enough you can serve tossed salad. Nothing fancy.

Chili would have paired really well with the 102 degree temperature in Dallas today, which is not at all unusual for Texas at this time of year.

[quote][R181] stand by the door and make sure everyone brings something and if they don't they are out. At my office we have 2 chuckleheads who never contribute to any cake funds or any potlucks but they whine about wanting the biggest slice or prowl the lunch room for leftovers to take home. Don't let this shit happen to you

Ginny in Billing? Or Doris in Accounts?

No, Linda in HR! ^

Did anyone suggest a potluck? Is that doable?

Do you have the implements (bowls, trays, platters, tubs, chafing dishes, crocks, serving utensils, tables/counter space, linens, ice) not mention storage space and manpower to schlepp everything to and fro? Thought so.

R196 see R189

Who is the speaker? Is this really a multi-level marketing pitch?

Just do pizza. Seriously People like pizza. It's easy to serve and eat. Get nice looking thin or hand-tossed. Add fresh herbs to some or ask the pizza place to do it. Have some veggie option. You'll probably be able to get some sort of special for a bulk order. Get it cut in squares for easy eating on a napkin and smaller portions.

OP we really wanna help you, and I'm glad u have friends like us; however your limited resources have proven to be discernible and we would like to deal with more pressing concerns, like my new book.

Strawberries, scones, clotted cream and Earl Grey tea.

I thought he meant he lived in Detroit when he said the Big D. That means Dallas?

So,what kind of job is this? Three of you have to host a party with dinner and drinks and bring a speaker?

God.

I thought he meant "big debt" when he said "big D."

I thought big DICK! I'm like, yo! How could I be of service? ^

R204, maybe you’re correct. He didn’t put ‘the’ before big D. Maybe it is big debt.

Not that any of this matters.

I think you need to do a potluck, if you are thinking about a full course dinner.

If you want you can do an after-dinner game night party, serve a special drink, and pair with hor d'oeuvres, veggies, chips and dip. Of course, you have to hope that people at least bring a bottle of wine.

You need to have others on the planning team (and their money too.) You have a low budget for a full course dinner party with liquor.

Nutloaf

Slow cooker meatballs. You can buy the inexpensive ones from Target or Walmart. Use pasta sauce or beef gravy or nothing at all.

Honestly why would you do this if you cannot afford it? It's slightly embarrassing to invite a large group over and basically serve nothing-- wait until you can afford it as you will really not be doing yourself any favor-- do you also have a tiny place? Mary!

[quote]A bug salad needs a big expensive bowl!

I think this was a troll post.

Unless you're living in a city, were do 70 people park their cars?

And if your place is big enough to host 70 people, you probably have enough money to host a proper bash.

The set-up.... the clean-up... it's tough enough having a dinner party for 10 people, let alone 70.

Eighty is enough

If it is at the pool area of your complex, there will not be any breakables allowed for obvious reasons. Beer would need to be a keg with plastic cups for instance. Any other alcohol would have to be Sangria with really cheap wine. But I myself would forgo alcohol. A bunch of unemployed people and booze are not the best mix.

Do lots of ice tea and lemonade. You will need a LOT of ice.

If you can designate someone as a shaken lemonade maker, like at the fair, it will be a hit for less than $50 of ice lemons and sugar.

I myself could probably do dinner 70 people for $350 as I am used to entertaining large groups on the regular, BUT the logistics of keeping all the food cold and thus safe, is unworkable. I am assuming you do not have anything but a small apartment refrigerator. Likewise a 4 burner stove.

You will be doing no networking and nothing but refilling bowls, finding people more plastic utensils, etc. I am with people who say appetizers and desserts only. You can bake some really great cookies in advance (no cut and bakes... do real butter and vanilla cookies- like oatmeal, chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, raisin, etc- they have not had them since grandma died) get $18 sheet cakes from Costco. Gallons of milk from Costco. Go to Goodwill and get a couple party perks for $6 or so and do coffee. Hummus and pita chips. Vegetables and dips. Do your own vegetable prep and put them in big zip lock bags in your fridge to do a quick refill of platters. Get recipes for cheese balls and make those with bread and crackers. You can use cheap cheeses bound with $1 a block cream cheese. Otherwise you will be buying $8+ a pound cheese and the cubes will dry out or bleed oil and look like crap and unappetizing in 1/2 hour in the sun. Cheese balls can be made into logs and rolled in nuts or chopped parsley and kept in your limited fridge space wrapped and ready to refresh your cheese and cracker boards. Make pasta salad with some black olives and a jar of artichoke hearts (again from Costco) in addition to some chopped fresh vegetable like cucumber and summer squash and halved grape tomatoes and serve it in clear solo plastic cups with a fork stuck in each one.

You will need some serving items that will come out of your budget. Again, Goodwill. Cloths for the table tops (no draped down the sides with the outdoor wind)Big baskets you scrub and dry before the party for crackers and bread (Walmart Italian bread baked in store, sliced, at $1 a loaf) Hopefully some natural wood trays and some big serving trays you can have cookies and such arranged on in your apartment so that serving is limited to dashing into the apartment and bringing out an already arranged tray to replenish.

GFS has little plastic take out dressing cups and lids you can package your own dips and spreads into .

Most important, make sure and have plenty of trash bags to keep all the mess bagged up and scurried away as the party progresses. You need about 6 volunteers to man different duties, otherwise you will have a lot of debris blowing in the pool and you will get evicted on top of being unemployed you will be homeless.

"Cooking yourself" seems like a rather extreme solution, OP. But it would be cheap and you would get a ton of publicity.

Once again, an assumption that everyone has a Costco card. Costco, for those of you who do not remember, is a membership-based organization. There are also other such clubs, including BJ's and Sam's. They also require annual membership fees.

Beyond that, R214's ideas sound beyond terrible and mostly unrealistic for Texas in the summer.

FIne. Then DON'T go to Costco. Most decent supermarkets have rotisserie chickens...... Cut them up smear some BBQ sauce on them put them in the over for 10-15 minutes. Done! You can do a beautiful arugula, sliced tomatoes, English cucumbers and red onion salad with a lemon vinagrette dressing, and a pasta salad.

I like the idea of cookies for dessert, and definitely have a veggies and Hummus dip with pita chips too. No cheese logs or otherwise. No cheeses at all. Ugh.

Definitely Sangria and a white wine punch. Yes I know I already said this. Iced Tea and lemonade. Hire a couple of young people to bus your party and keep things going as servers. offer then $30. Have chips and gold fish or some other type of snack foods. A tub filled with ice and small bottles of water.

OP don't serve cake for dessert. . Too messy. Finger foods. Brownies, cookies, will suffice.

This is easy peasy and cheap - Spam and Cheez Whiz on Ritz crackers. You'll get that CEO job before you can even open the second can of Spam.

Spam Snacks are a great ice breaker!

OP After the speaker presents, make an announcement. Tell them since everyone knows that y'all are unemployed and even still provided this entertainment and fellowship, you're going to pass the hat, and make sure everyone donates. Tell them the customary donation is $10 but they can give more if they chose. Hell the Sangria alone was worth it, right?

^include a little song to grease the palms

Make vegetarian curries. One with garbanzo beans, a spinach curry, maybe a chicken curry. Rice. Cucumber salad.

Summer fruits for dessert.

Find out where R216 works OP. Go to the employer and tell them you will do their job for 20% less than they are being paid. They are the type of negative naysayer asshole that makes everyone in the office weary. I am sure the company will love an excuse to replace them with anyone. A 20% cost savings will be just the excuse that is needed.

Your problem solved, and you do not have to worry about cheese logs or any of that.

Some of you seem very obsessed with rotisserie chickens. It's important to keep in mind that, taste-wise, not all of these birds are created equal. And pulling them apart can get very messy (I personally hate that part).

In addition to thinking everyone has a Costco card and even knows what GFS is, R214 / R224 also has very thin skin. Face it, toots, some of your ideas were simply awful and unworkable given the constraints presented. Please read the entire thread before responding.

A rotisserie chicken. Strip the meat and mix it with rice, celery and several varieties of Campbell’s cream of something soup. It’s called Chicken a la Slop

Fully prepared finger foods are best for these kinds of speaking engagements which are not formal dinners. Pizza or sandwich / sub platters from a good sub shop would both work, and in many cases they would provide the paper plates, napkins, and in the case of sandwiches, the plastic ware and condiments. Since the OP updated the original story and is only providing food, there is much more room to go this route.

That said, I expect the next twist to be about dietary restrictions.

R225, maybe I am "obsessed" with them, but they are cheap, and easy, and very versatile. I've used them as is, and I've used them as the base for Indian, chicken tikka Masala, Mexican, Asian, Italian, and Middle Eastern dinners, I've sliced them up and put them on a bed of mixed greens for a wonderful salad, I've made chicken salad with them, there's no end to how useful they are.

Cheese & pickle sandwiches

I don't know, but if a recipe calls for PARSLEY, then for God's sake, send someone to the grocery store who knows what it looks like!, he screamed viciously!

Whoever said R214 had bad instincts was dead on.

So OP... at what point during your "networking" dinner do you get up and pitch your "Le-Vel Thrive 8 Week Experience Business Plan" ?

I would take this issue to the catering department of a local market with a decent reputation (check their online menus before you go), tell them how many are coming and how much you can spend, and then let them suggest various options for you. Use the Dollar Store for items like serving platters, etc.

I think it's sweet that you're honoring all the guys who dumped a load in you.

Rainbow bagels, OP

R229 I'm sure you could put out a terrific spread for 70 people and not exceed the OP's budget. But does the OP have the skills to do that? Can the OP even cook?

Pizza delivered and cut in squares wins

OP here..

My sister has agreed to make cookies and mini-croissants (plain, chocolate and almond) so I can now concentrate on savories

I know of networking events where person will organize it and have it at a hotel /public venue with no host bar. It is in a nice setting and you only have to show up - no clean up etc.

Have her do some cheese and ham croissants and ur covered

This is how Dallas shopbottoms find employment?

OP you could cook a whole ham and slice it up thinly, serve with bread rolls. That with houmous and pittas and some vegetables should be enough for savouries.

Mexican food is supposed to be the cheapest to buy. Make some bins of enchiladas, refried beans, spanish rice. Maybe fresh fruit. Sangria and iced tea. Popsicles and ice cream treats for dessert. Put on some well known latin music. Everyone will love it.

If it's gay guys don't bother, they won't eat. Just buy alcohol and a couple containers of Crisco.

Rotisserie Chicken Pinatas. Hire some Mexican children to clean up. Do not pay them more than ten dollars.

OK. I know I'm tedious. Fine. Fuck it. The reason I'm so enthusiastic about chicken is that it's very neutral. It's safe. people who don't eat red meat or have other restrictions will usually be able to deal with Chicken. The thing is, you don't want to be too adventurous. It might not work with some people. YOU want to be hospitable.

In general you have to set the right tone. You want to make people feel comfortable and appreciate your effort, so you don't want to do something transparently cheap and slapped together and sparse. OTOH, you don't want to go overboard, be too elaborate, and do too much either. If it's a gathering from 6 -8 PM, you want to make sure you have something for them that is substantial but not overpowering. Keep it simple what ever you do.

Retried beans and farts galore..no!

Here's what you do, OP. Find the most expensive restaurants in your neigbourhood, and monitor the clean up/garbage disposal schedules for 24 hours. Narrow the restaurants down to the ones which seem to dispose of the greatest quantities of uneaten food and zoom in with your garbage bag just after closing hours. Half eaten desserts, discarded vegetables and raw meat can still be re-purposed for your guests and they will think you are such a talented gourmet.

Make sure to even out the portions with teeth marks so no one will suspect their food has been on someone else's plate.

Even if you shop at Save A Lot, you can not make it happen. Don't pretend you can do something you can not do.

Throw caution to the wind and test some edible lube on a few desserts targetting hot guests. You might end up with a 'different kind of job.'

Whatever you do the gays will snicker and talk about you for years.

Rainbow Jello-O bundt will impress the elder gays.

Jello pudding for dessert

How odd are these 70 people?

Has anyone explained who the guest speaker is? Or did I miss it?

This EST is a mess.

Guest speaker is yet to be confirmed but I have a photo.

Poor OP. he comes here for sincere help, and this is what he gets! LOL! I love it!

So the guest speaker is giving his talk in front of 70 people next to the pool at your apartment complex?

R258, are you new to Datalounge? You really think this was a sincere request for help?

Why do we think the D was involved?

OP, for a party that size you'll need lots of veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies

lots and lots of va-va-veggies

veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies

OP - you can DO this with a grits bar!! I did this set up at a Christmas party a while back. Pull out a punch bowl and hit up BevMo for drinks.

Kiss my grits 263

The grits is cold mammy.

I think it's fair to assume that guests will now be IN the pool, r259.

Gitchoo a coupla big assed bags of chicken wings, fry 'em up buffalo wings style, then have three dips for 'em. Gitchoo summa them frozen waffle fries. They got the sweet potato kind and the regular. Put a big assed bowl of ketchup by 'em, and then gitchoo summa those big assed tubs of potato salad. Paper plates, napkins, ice and those big jugs of ready made lemonade. that's it. you. are. ready.

[quote]OK. I know I'm tedious. Fine. Fuck it. The reason I'm so enthusiastic about chicken is that it's very neutral. It's safe. people who don't eat red meat or have other restrictions will usually be able to deal with Chicken.

Something makes me think that R247 has left specific instructions that his cremation is to be done via spit.

Start out with some loaves and fishes...

Something is fishy here

Fishy like fish sticks, R270? That's probably what OP should serve.

Better that than farting beans

Texans like to fart competitively though, don't they r272?

We know at least one of their politicians eats boogers on live TV...

R267, chicken wings are currently the most expensive portion of the chicken in the US, due to our buffalo wing obsession. Restaurants charge $1 or more per wing. They sell raw for about $3/lb. A friend told me recently that Pizza Hut has "chicken wing Tuesdays" where wings are half-price. But now they are adding a surcharge on the wings due to their high cost, which effectively removes the discount.

Thank you all for your advice. I have 10 friends who will be helping me with the catering and the guest list is down to 30 people. The menu will be smoked salmon canapes, caesar salad, garlic bread and wine spritzers. Dessert will be creme brule with field strawberries. We won't have any guest speakers, just rap music in the background.

[quote] just rap music in the background.

For dining and conversing you're going to have rap music playing in the background.

See, I knew you were trolling.

No one wants your vegggie fucking rice. How about investing in a margarine fountain? Corn niblets for everyone along side a trough of Champipple.

A dozen Spaghetti-O Gelatin Molds with Canned Wieners should do it.

The thread has become boring. The OP presented a problem that could not be solved. He wins. 70 people will not show up to a networking party to help 3 rotisserie chicken losers find a job anyway. I've been on welfare and spent more than $350 on a romantic dinner. It only takes one person to help you.

Smoked salmoon canapes and caesar salad ? Sounds lovely OP but it seems as if something is missing. Truly. I'm not shitting you. I think you need one more finger food style canape or something. Hummus with veggies to dip? Something.

How Odd are they OP?

And how did you find 70 of them who were on a budget?

Deviled eggs

[quote]Hummus with veggies

R281 is right.

OP, for a party that size you'll need lots of veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies

lots and lots of va-va-veggies

veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies

Fantastic OP. You can borrow my Costco card if you like. Hummus and rotisserie chickens for all!

You need approx 1/4 lb. of meat per person split into how ever many meat dishes you need.

I recommend homemade Indian / Chinese food for the budget amount. You don't want anything with cheese in it. You'll fuck yourself.

70 people... If you are willing to cook Indian or Chinese food, I will let you know a sample menu and how much meat/vegetables you can expect to buy and how much you would approximately pay.

What is the deadline?

I am the OP and I have no idea who the other person claiming to be the OP is--wish he would give me the money to buy the salmon and caviar or whatever

My complex has a party hall by the pool area that we are going to use. There will be a guest speaker on how to effectively use LinkedIn in your job search and about 75 people for networking (most are employed looking to change jobs). I am thinking sliders to go along with the cookies and sweet croissants. The other two are going to arrange for beer, wine and soft drinks.

As organizers the three of us get to briefly talk about our own job search and what kind of jobs we are looking for in front off the entire group. The point of it being to impress someone enough that they recommend you to their bosses/HR.

Pulled pork is a good alternative to sliders OP. It's pre made, easy to keep hot and ready to serve.

That’s a lot of bread OP.

just do cold cuts & bread / cheese / vegetables then. Cheap.

No cooking.

Shit cheese.

Maybe a fast food joint can deliver the sliders

Not everyone eats pork so beef is the best way to go...I can make it cheaper at home than getting it from a place--even a fast food joint

Make giant platters of turkey lasagna.

How about chicken? Not everyone eats beef.

Is there plentiful free parking in the immediate vicinity?

I'm going to stick with sliders and may sprinkle truffles for added flavor. Was thinking of making my specialty salade nicoise as some guests my want something a bit more fancy than just lettuce and tomatoes. I have some aged balsamic so I'll put that on the side along with gouda, limburger and sundried tomatoes.

Can someone please punch R262/R285 in the face?

OP is such a goober.

Mash 12 bags of extra krispie Cheetos °. Add 13 eggs, 3 tbsp Hellmans° mayonnaise, mix well, shape into "meatballs." Deep fry. Serve accompanied with Skipco Sauce (2 jars creamy Skippy°peanut butter, 3 cans diet Coke°, 2 jars green olives--blend well, gently heat in sauce pan). A meal they'll never forget!

Okay, r299.

And another one for r301's disgusting recipe.

R289, and the Muslims and Jews will be thrilled with it!

Frozen burritos save the day!

Oh OP, you darling, darling thing. EST or not, this thread has made me howl with laughter. I am indeed, crying as I type. Jesus Christ, I love the DL.

Make it a tea instead. Small sandwiches with very little filling can be quite inexpensive. Tell people to BYOB if they need to get schnockered.

I’ll never forget when I was looking for work and my husband said he’d talk to a resident in our building who was an “life & employment coach.” So he did. Later that week we rain into her outside the building and she gave me the wisdom of her years of experience.

“Network, network, network. Talk to all your friends & relatives about your job search.”

Me: Umm, yeah. Been doing that for months.

Her: Keep networking.

Me: How many years do you think it will take me to get a job by networking with my friends & relatives? None of them live in this city, btw.

Her: Network with everyone you know in the city!

Me: That will be hard. Everyone I knew in the city has moved or died. People got married, people partnered up, people moved back home. It’s very expensive to live in the city, as you & I well know, and people had to move out when their rent hit the magic number they couldn’t afford anymore.

Her: Network, Network, Network

Me: Are you serious? People actually pay you? People pay you to repeat “Network” 3 times in a row like it’s a magical incantation? Like “abracadabra”? How do I get a job as a life/employment coach, because this sounds super easy.”

Needless to say, she didn’t like me. But I didn’t like her either with her bullshit “networking.”

So...good luck with your “networking event” OP. Did amway contribute to the food fund?

$5 per person budget? Pass around a bag of pork rinds.

I thought it was $350 per person budget.

OK. So 75 people and you'll be indoors in the social room by the pool of your apartment complex. I'm not a fan of sliders. Of course I don't eat red meat. So, no beef.

i can't cook to save my life so it is easy to assemble sliders or sandwich platters from subway

There's always room for Jello OP.

It doesn’t matter what you serve, OP. Just make sure that whatever you do serve you finish with a generous splash of vodka, and everyone will have a wonderful time. Oh, and don’t forget that a Milk-A-Pepsi Punch is always a lovely, welcome addition to any affair.

....

Wait a sec...how about using road kill for the meat? A dead deer could feed the entire crowd easy!

Wait a minute! Are we forgetting dollar store pound cake?

Call this guy

Though on second thoughts....

Let's hope they don't all want crème Brule and hope they don't want it NOWW!!!!!!!

I saw several skinny Asian girls at a buffet with eight crime brûlée each

OP - Ask your targeted future employers to take the "Surströmming" challenge!

Stir up a bunch of Kool-Aid in a big metal barrel and play Jim Jones tapes. Might as well.

I’m impressed you know so many odd people OP.

[quote]There will be a guest speaker on how to effectively use LinkedIn in your job search and about 75 people for networking (most are employed looking to change jobs). As organizers the three of us get to briefly talk about our own job search and what kind of jobs we are looking for in front off the entire group. The point of it being to impress someone enough that they recommend you to their bosses/HR.

This sounds even more foolhardy than I was first thinking. Your clarifications only bring more questions. How do you know these people want to change jobs? Why would they want to listen to the three of you? Is this a "special" group of people who don't know how to use LinkedIn? Do any of them have a Costco membership?

Who came up with this lame-brained scheme? How are the 75 people finding out about it? If you speak to an empty room full of nothing but cheap food, have you really said anything at all?

Dinner party, eh?

Please make a video of this shindig.

They have frozen sliders al, made up

Have u seriously considered the Mortimer Club? They run a $2 coupon for every $200 spent on Thursdays. Now, buzz off I gotta talk to Rose and Madge.

Dumpster diving at the 2337 Lexington A&P always yields scrumptious deli -- shrimp salad and curried calf liver!

^ oooooookkkkkk, you’ve murdered the Dumpster Diving joke x’s 1000, it wasn’t funny the first time either.

Let him be R332. It's a Monday night. Sloooooow freakin night on this site.

R332, after favoring us with one of your matchless witticisms, do sample my ptomaine canape's.

Location dictates food. It's a poolside meet & greet. A few cases of wine, a few cases of beer, coffee, tea, water, juices, seltzers, lemons/ limes, make your own excellent cheese and cracker platters for each table, excellent chopped vegetable and dips, pretzels, chocolates all on each table. All finger food. No cooking. Napkins, cups, ice, maybe ice cream/ italian ice at the end. Look up cocktail party ideas online. It can be done. Ask friends to help bartend and cleanup throughout the event. Keep it moving.

"Keep it moving."

Love your brisk efficiency -- so masterful! I'll bet you're a take-charge drill sergeant in the sack.

“Keep it moving til I sa ur done”

OP, to best answer your question, it would help to know in what way are the 70 people odd?

These "how to use LinkedIn" people sound like complete tools. Imagine working for/with these losers OP? You have only one choice.

So what will the entertainment be?

[quote]So what will the entertainment be?

Demo of the CAPS LOCK function on a standard computer keyboard

One of the people attending knows a Chick-Fil-A franchise owner and will get me a 150 of those little breakfast chicken sandwiches at a deeply discounted price. So we are all set: breakfast chicken sandwiches, cookies, croissants, beer, wine and soft drinks. I was told that we are already at 45 RSVP's so should be a decent turnout

Nice troll twist there with the added detail of the anti-gay Chik-fil-A.

Raid the dumpsters a the back of supermarkets. By all accounts the food is fine. Use the money to buy fine wines.

....

Here's a menu idea: go to the drive-thru at either Taco Bell or Del Taco. Order 70 each of 4 different items from the $0.99 menu. Or Del Taco even has some items for $0.69. You will come in under budget, since the other 2 hosts are responsible for beverages and someone is already bringing cookies. They may ask you to pull into a parking space to wait for the food since otherwise you will hold up the drive thru line while they prepare 280 items. Drive the SUV, not the small car. You need lots of space. Put a plastic shower curtain down on the inside of the car and put the food bags on that so the grease doesn't soak through the food bags and get into the upholstery or carpet. Don't forget to get a variety of all the hot sauces! Some people like mild and others like medium or hot! Be considerate and try to think of your guest needs. Make sure at least 1 of the items you pick is vegetarian.

6 foot heroes

Why are people imitating a poor Unemployed OP trying to lift himself up?

Order some vending machines and give them all 10 quarters to spend as they wish. It will be fun.

you could do vegetarian lazagne or spagetti and garlic bread and maybe bread and olive oil or potato chips and dip for appetizers. It would have to be byob as well. For beverages, stick with homemade ice tea.

Stone Soup and Sun Tea

35 lollipops per person.

I meant impersonating OP

Thank You for all your suggestions--it is coming along well

I hope and pray this lands me a job and soon

OP Hope so. I'd give you huge credit for innovative thinking. Only the smart people come to DL for advice. Best of luck

R351 and others: Never serve anything garlic or onion- ish to guests at something related to work or on a professional occasion. it makes people stink.

Now. OP? Try not to serve things that are messy. I wish you had decided on a Saturday brunch gathering. Breakfast is so inexpensive.

The other thing? OP you may have stumbled on to your next career simply by organizing this. I bet it you hired yourself out as some kind of Employment guru, or a Career Development coach, you'd do just fine. You need to write this up and take a few pictures and publish it in the local community newspaper. Start building your portfolio. You are wired to the stars, baby.

Fuck the Chick Fil-A already.

My friend took this photo of me and burnt cookies.

Avoid salad and things that could make people sick. You don’t need 70 sick people angry at you.

Oh, really R359? Google Images says otherwise.

OK. So no garlic, no onion, nothing messy, no Chik-Fil-A and no salad? And there was a distinct ambivalence to the sliders. So now what?

Order some Chinese take-out and get the necessary liquor to make Fog Cutters. Damn.

FOG CUTTER MIX UP A FOG CUTTER DRINK USING WHITE RUM, GIN, BRANDY, ORANGE JUICE, LEMON JUICE, ORGEAT SYRUP AND SWEET SHERRY. CHECK OUT MORE CAPTAIN MORGAN COCKTAIL RECIPES. INGREDIENTS: 1.5 OZ CAPTAIN MORGAN WHITE RUM 1.5 OZ GIN 0.5 OZ BRANDY 1 OZ ORANGE JUICE 3 TBSP LEMON JUICE 1.5 TSP ORGEAT SYRUP 1 TSP SWEET SHERRY

HOW TO MAKE: 1. ADD CAPTAIN MORGAN WHITE RUM, GIN, BRANDY, ORANGE JUICE, LEMON JUICE AND ORGEAT SYRUP INTO A TUMBLER WITH ICE AND SHAKE WELL. 2. POUR INTO A ROCKS GLASS. 3. FLOAT SWEET SHERRY ON TOP. 4. GARNISH WITH ORANGE AND LIME.

"Sx foot heroes "

Can you provide any phone numbers?

Barf r363

I’m thinking of holding some sort of raffle to get me some business cards-connections. Can’t think of anything to raffle though? Maybe a new leather folio?

OP have several "raffles." Charge $5 per ticket and have several drawings. Useful thinks like maybe a phone charger for their cars, and your leather folio might be the 'grand prize." And think about gift cards to the movies, or Whole Foods or something.

Thank you R367. We have a grand prize— the speaker is donating a free two hour one on one session to help someone with their personal branding statement and LinkedIn profile

This thread has been wonderful fun. Best of luck, OP!

Thinking of raffling this.

While R356 is a nice take, no OP, you will not get a job out of this, unless that of a cater/waiter. How could you possibly think someone will think oh I need a phlebotomist, an usher for the multiplex, a shoe salesman, he'll do. But take heart, we all wish you well. Let us know if you get offers, and what. Are you photogenic? I film, may have an opening for your openings.

OP looking to be a foot model as well, r371. First professional shot.

I look forward to the invitees posting to the Stingy With Food thread in the near future.

Oh My Eyes! Feets never to be unseen!

Did this happen yet?

Yeah, let's hear about OP's job offers!

No one will come or if they do won't stay you rube. A raffle for a folio and a consult from some blatherer who'll be blathering at this weird ass poolside function? There is no conceivable benefit to be had here. Hang it up. WTF.

We're coming for the free food and it better be decent!

Otherwise, this is the dumbest idea ever.

"Once Around The Salad Bar" $3.99 Early Bird Special*, Monday thru Thursday, 3:30 - 5:30 PM.

*Beverage Not Included

Any leftovers you can share, OP?

How about sloppy joes?

No way in hell to have a decent spread on this budget. Don't even. Only hope is to have a good bar and lame but agreeable music droning in the background. Put out bowls of munchies. Nuts, chips, cookies, candy, cheetos. That's all you can afford.

Why don't you get the job FIRST, then celebrate afterwards with a simple wine and cheese party, along with fresh fruit, one or two great dips, and homemade pita chips.

OP is using food as the lure to GET a job, r383.

Save your money OP.

You might need it later.

Sounds like a bunch of scheisters looking to take your money. Who the hell needs someone to "help them" with LinkedIn? Get it together OP and stop with this nonsense....

When is this hootenanny?

Update...

This is all set for Thursday, September 6 at 6PM.

If anyone is in the Dallas area and wants to attend I can share the details

Menu first, please, OP at r388.

R389--- We are getting breakfast chicken sandwich platters from Chick-Fil-A (not my first choice but who else is going to give me 4 platters with 160 chicken minis for 80 bucks), cookies and croissants with white and red wine and beer

Would this be it, OP, R390?

Chick fil a serves wine and beer?

P.S. Thanks for supporting a homophobic business asshole.

Don't forget the Porta Potties for 70 people shitting out OP's trashy spread.

This is snarkable AF, but I'm rooting for OP. At least he's being proactive and thinking outside the box, not sitting in a Starbucks all day for the free wifi, nursing a cold cup of black coffee, listening to an emo playlist while he fills out dreary job applications.

I’m not rooting for him. First off, he sounds dumb as fuck...this song & dance of making a spread for a bunch of assholes, just so he ‘might’ get a job. What the fuck? Nobody does this.

Secondly, he gave money to the enemy. Chick mother fucking filet. Fuck you op. Seriously, fuck you.

I dint know if you are a troll or if this garbage is real, but you are an idiot. Nothing, absolutely fucking nothing, will come of this.

White AND red wine? Wow, that is fancy.

This idea has disaster written all over it.

This has ecoli and salmonella written all over it.

I'm not one for boycotting everything, however, patronizing chick fil a? Fucking NO! OP is obviously a troll. I had a friend that went on and on about chick fil a and how great the chicken sandwiches were. He knows how to cook excellent food and deconstruct stuff, but he was addicted to the sandwiches. He could easily replicate them, but went with laziness. I'm judgemental of someone who eats at chick as well as McDonald's. You're eating and supporting misery and garbage.

Thank you for your support R394.

I am trying to find employment and doing something about it-no need to be snarky about it.

I am getting s good deal for the platters at R391 and I don’t care about their politics-I need to do what’s best for me. The franchise owner is probably giving me this food at cost and I am thankful.

You don’t know how hard it is being unemployed

Why don’t you work at Chick-fil-a? Too proud?

R400– I have thought of getting a fast food franchise of some sort but ultimately decided against it

Because you're a lying piece of shit troll?

I’m disabled and a Phoenix chick fil a violated state and federal law RE: my service dog..the owner was a major dick when I followed up on the phone!

Perfect job for a creep like OP.

R381 how about sloppy Joe's what?

OP, I tried R301's recipe. To die for!

We have our first verified ghost posting on DL, because the only thing the recipe at R301 gets you is death by ingestion or death by homicide of those you try to serve that concoction.

I don't understand why some of you are so negative towards me- I am doing what I need to secure employment. I really am thankful for the advise and suggestions on this thread and I am happy to report that we has already had 72 people RSVP.

^Good for you, OP. I'm glad things are going according to plan. Best of luck. Live well/long and prosper!

OP, how many dudes got sloppy seconds that magical evening?

Let us know about your success OP. Name it, claim it and believe it to receive it!

I was pulling for OP until the Chick-Fil-A thing. He can fuck right off now.

Yep, he seems like one of those scheming, schmoozing kinda guys with that creepy used car salesman vibe. He lacks a bit of class and seems to be willing to settle for his lot in life which is banal, cheap, cookie-cutter mediocrity. Who the hell needs to try to impress 70 plus people for a job? I'm picturing him looking like a thinner, balding Guy Fieri. For sure puts I'm a "people person" and "self starter" on his resume. OP, however little or much money you make, you're still gonna be poor. Sad

70 McChicken sandwiches from McDonalds only costs 70 bucks!

I haven't posted my negative thoughts but since you put it that way, I'll share. Why are you undertaking this big, complicated party when you should be devoting all your resources to getting another job? Being unemployed sucks and is unavoidable. Hosting a party is a choice you don't have to make right now.

OP, if you got RSVPs from 72 people, how many did you actually invite? And how were you going to feed them all if they all said yes?

Ok the speaker is proving more popular than expected so we might have over a hundred people. We have decided to reach out to local hotels for a large meeting room. We are also looking to add two-three more organizers to contribute to the costs of hosting

You know those hotels won’t let you bring in outside food, right?

8.5/10.

Better to go with a rec center or church hall OP. If you're in Tx, there should be plenty and cheaper, too.

Have you thought about a Taco Bar? Slow cookers full of carnitas, pollo and carne asada, and all the fixings.

OP - The type of event networking you are supposedly planning:

1. Doesn't ring true (conceptual idea is ludicrous - business people don't physically "gather" in this day of SM with unknown, unemployed people, the numbers of invitees gave it away, planning disarray from every angle)

2. Overly ambitious for someone with your limited means and likely career aspirations (goal? is it office administrator?)

3. If this thread is a bonafide story, I'd never hire you as you think nothing of wasting people's time, throwing up smoke and mirrors speakers to try to lure busy people into a form of voluntary social entrapment when all it is - at its core - is about getting yourself a job.

0/10

To add to R422:

4. Continually moving goalposts of this evolving EST to attempt extending the thread life. Half point awarded for succeeding in that respect, but half point removed for the goalposts moving in unbelievable ways.

Poor OP, nobody loves you.

OP is just a poor boy from a poor family.

This thread needs to reach 600

This ES reads like funny Hazel rerun with OP as Hazel. Never say die!

Do what I did.

Thanks R420– I reached out to a local church and they can accommodate us

Bagels and flavored cream cheeses. Blueberry cream cheese, strawberry, garden vegetable, chive, original, low fat, cinnamon. Coffee, tea, milk, creamer, half & half, various sweeteners, paper plates, lots of napkins

IOW, R430: Junk food, junk food, junkd food, junk food, junk food, junk food, etc etc

I have appointments at two local churches to check out their facilities. They’re willing to give me a large room for free

^YOU CAN'T TAKE ALCOHOL INTO A CHURCH, OP!!!!!

R433—Yipee! Saves us more money, I’ll get the other two to help me get decent food

FAKE

*Clink* *Clink* *Clink* on the water glasses...

OP: Hello, my name is OP. It's just swell that you both came to our meeting today. Just a little about ME:

1. I type 85 words per minute

2. I am polite on the phone but -- TRUST -- I put my boss's needs first. Fact!

3. I am Level III trained on the Wang word processing system!

I cater opening night parties for a local equity theater. I do great and plentiful food for well under $5 a head. We’ve had smashed meatball sliders, sausage peppers and onions pasta, Bacon Mac and cheese. Chicken pot pie. Always with veggies and salad and bread. A great easy pasta dish...penne,olive oil, shredded rotisserie chix, parm and salt and pepper. Shockingly yummy. I’ve done individual meatloafs in muffin tins... with garlic mashed potatoes and confetti corn. Plan everything. Storage. Heat. Cooling. Another great trick is a few bags of ice in your washer....keeps stuff cold up to 4 days. Just spin cycle the melted ice away.

Hooray? I would never hire anyone who offered "chix" and "parm" anything, let alone one who uses the word "yummy."

R437 Great tip about using ice in your washer to keep things cold.

Yes, the washer/ice tip is great, but any "party planner" saying "veggies" I want to slap.

R440, what do you have against veggies? They're cheap, healthy and delicious. No party is rocking without lots and lots of veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies

lots and lots of va-va-veggies

veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies veggies

Yep, unless OP is responding to his own threads(which I don't doubt), we have a lot of enablers here. Using words like "veggies" and "shockingly yummy" sounds like complete trash. I can't believe this pathetic thread has dragged on this long. The originator of this thread is a complete loser either way and deserves to be unemployed. Sad

R437, that all sounds DELISH!

Thank you all! We are all set. Will report back on the event once it happens

Pics or this never happened

70 AbaZabas and a cup of cawfee.

Churros from Costco

Smashed meatball sliders? Sounds like something midwesterners would consider outre and a really “cute” idea

OP will be defined by his VEGGIES.

Since some money freed up in the budget due to no alcohol, we are doing canapés and various virgin cocktails

After reviewing the budget, there is no leftover money so no canapés and virgin cocktails. Guests are being asked to bring their own drinks.

- OP

Thnx 4 the update!

Who the fuck wants to drink virgin cocktails? Coffee & tea

Pool idea may be cancelled. Anyone know cheap and effective way to clean one?

- OP

I'm not reading 454 posts in this thread so let me see if I have this right.

70 people with a budget of $300-350, for that you get cheap wine and a couple of snacks.

Dinner? Sliders? Canapes? Drinks? Don't be fucking stupid. Have you never entertained anyone in your life?

The budget now is about $900 to feed about 100 people. No alcohol since it’s in the church hall

THIS. NEVER. HAPPENED. AND WILL. NEVER. HAPPEN.

FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE

I've went along with this bullshit for a bit, but now realize OP is an obvious EST troll. First it's 70 people, then possibly just 20 or so. Now it's up to 100. The budget was originally $300, now it's $900. First he was responsible for the alcohol,then he said someone else was getting iit. Now there's no alcohol due to it being in a church hall(which someone had to tell him) which someone shouldn't have said anything so he could dig his grave deeper. If you're trying to "impress" some losers who are "teaching" people how to utilize LinkedIn to better their job opportunities, you've got much bigger problems. You have zero skills in planning and budget. You go from some homemade shit to chick fil a to "smashed meatball" sandwiches. You're doomed troll... DOOMED!!!!

I would add OP is a bit lacking in the EST creativity department too, r458.

I really don't care what some of you naysayers think...I needed to do something out of the box to get myself noticed by employers in my field and organizing this networking event is a good thing.

Why no alcohol in the church? Go use the rec room in a Catholic church. The priests will help you down the liquor.

Oh god, he's one of those "outside the box" fuckers who put that on their resume along with a real "people person" and "go gather". So sad OP. We're not naysayers, were realists. You're trash.

OP: Who in their right mind would want to go to this trailer park "complex" of yours just to eat cheap shit---and with no booze to at least dull the sense of reality---just to help YOU get a job? What's in it for them besides being hungry and having to meet other losers? You'll get great job leads, all right.

This "LinkIn" concept is bullshit, too. Fuck your networking---just go online to the indeed.com website and look for your messenger/mailroom job there. Easy peasy.

I need a job, guys. I'm thinking of hosting a cheese and crackers party to see if I can reel in any big fish, and by that, I mean employers!

Fingers crossed!

Beverages are out of the question - but slow-roasting massive, cheap cuts of pork (a loin roast is preferable to the pork shoulder or the more expensive tenderloin cuts) is always a thought. Score the fat cap with your kitchen knife on top (into a diamond pattern - only cut the fat and not the actually meat) and marinate the pork overnight (you will need at least 1/4 lb. per person) in a mixture of fresh lime, lemon and orange juice (or whatever your budget will allow) with lots of oil (whatever you have cheaply on hand) - throw in some ground cumin, dried oregano and entire heads of smashed garlic with lots of salt and pepper. Cook pork the next day uncovered on 275 degrees for a few hours until the meat registers 145/150 degrees. This takes roughly 3 hours in most ovens. To finish it off, broil the top for 2-4 minutes and crisp the fat cap. Black beans and rice are cheap - find a recipe online and make. Serve with lime wedges. Most will go crazy for the food and it costs very little - buy the pork in bulk from a discount grocery.

R465 are you fucking paying attention? There's 70-100 people supposedly coming to this supposed scenario. Nobody has the time or space to make that much pork. OP is most likely a lonely troll getting attention whether it be bad or good.

r465 - I think we've established after 466 posts, that this is an EST. Or OP is a total and complete and utter imbecile.

Fill your boots, r465.

Hilarious

OP, FWIW, I believe you. Even more important, I believe IN you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think you are an EST. Even if you are, you have demonstrated an optimism and generosity I find endearing. I think the mean people have come onto this thread to bully and disparage you because they could never ever attempt such an ambitious project if they were in your situation. They are just mean. They were born mean, and they will die mean. and they don't even care. SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck, OP. I'm currently trying to get a second job because I can't make it these days and it's hell on earth. Nobody is calling back. It has made me suicidal. I'm cheering for you, I hope you get a job soon.

R470, Why can’t you just use the emoji’s that are on your device? 🍆💦👅

Now the budget is $1200, but there are 164 people coming. No alcohol or caffeine or meat because the church hall is owned by the 7th Day Adventists. Help me Datalounge!

R473-$900 OF THE $1200 is for the lube

Crisco doesn't cost that much, r474.

Aren't 7th Day Adventists vegetarians who are obsessed with fiber and colon function? OP, your miraculously inflated budget will go to produce and organic oatmeal. And if you deprive people of caffeine in addition to alcohol, you're fucked.

Yep, OP needs to throw himself in front of a train or bus.

WEDDING CATERER HERE------get 5 bags of croissant rolls........1 bag of chips........bacon bits.......VERY IMPORTANT---THIS IS YOUR SECRET INGREDIENT---->EXPENSIVE JAR gourmet mustard (preferably with jalapeño).......some Swiss cheese.......some DRIED Rosemary....and virgin olive oil........okay------take the rolls, dip them in olive oil, and glaze them with the gourmet mustard........put them in a baking pan----crunch the chips over the tops of the rolls---COVER with cheese....GENEROUSLY APPLY bacon bits on top of the cheese and LIGHTLY sprinkle rosemary on top of that---then drizzle olive oil on top of that.. Put it in the oven at 375 for approx 18 minutes.....When done, you have a delicious breaded casserole that you can serve with any HIGH END jams (optional)...you also get the perfect crunch from the chip layer.....

R478 That sounds like a shitshow. Die bitch!

R479 it is one of our most popular dishes.And it is delicious!!!!.....but maybe YOU would be better off at a 7-11 counter buying 3 day old egg salad for your guests.....THiS is what I get for giving you a DELICIOUS bread cassarole---one of our most repeat ordered.-----you're welcome.

Actuall r478 is on the right track except for the bacon bits and chips. Maybe turkey and/or a nice ham or prosciutto instead of bacon bits? OP admit it, you're trash. You are better off getting a bunch of White Castle or 3 foot subs from subway. Don't forget the little bags of chips, people will scccrrrream!!!!

Everything is finalized... 103 RSVP's, expecting 60-80 people to actually show up

We are serving assorted canapes, cookie, croissants and frozen "virgin" drinks.

Networking followed by the guest speaker

Promises to be a good event for making connections!

LOL.

good 4 u, op....seriously.... go get 'em

Get all your stuff from the 99 cent store

What happened to the Chik-Fil-A hookup, OP?

R486– With no alcohol we have the budget to do better

LOL.

Best wishes, OP, for a successful event!

Who the fuck wants to drink frozen virgin drinks? All those empty calories, all that sugar, for what? Might as well have lemonade.

'I can't make it..Sorry" = What I say when I'm invited to BUDGETED cookies and canapés parties with NO alcohol. I assume the dress code SANDALS and cut off jeans? ;)

FUN THINGS OVERHEARD at THIS party ------"excuse me---l'm the host and I noticed you have TWO cookies on your plate. I'm on a budget, would you mind putting ONE back?'"....."I tried to flush my stale croissant down the toilet And now the toilet is overflowing. Let's get out of here"....."damn, who do I have to blow to get a Wine Cooler around this dump?"..... ;0

R491 Actually, Daisy Dukes! The backpack is a necessity too---for resumes perhaps. Happy networking!

Wow! Canapes and frozen daiquiris. OP is really classing up the place.

MORE FUN Things overheard at this Party = "yeah---I remember you--I once dropped a LODESTAR on you" ......"I didn't know Generic Oreos existed"......"I haven't seen this much cheap food since the LIVING BIBICALLY wrap party"......"caviar dreams on a Kool-Aid budget"....

Someone else said, "Whoa, I was just expecting some peanuts and whiskey! Looks like this guy went whole hog with these fancy schmancy canapes! And check out the little paper umbrellas in those slushy virgin drinks---and how they match the paper cups!"

More--overheard at the party:

Maybe OP can have the guests fight to death over a bottle of wine and get a job that way

Maybe the church can put up a sign out front.

MORE overheard at the party = "NO THANKS----I snuck over to the AA Meeting across the hall and grabbed some doughnuts..Besides, I'm allergic to Ritz Crackers..."

THANKS to everyone for all the laughs.

I’m reading this thread and the tears are rollin* down my face. I haven’t laughed this hard in I don’t know how long. There’s one hilarious post after another, from the OP....to the fake OPs....to the serious responses...to the snark....to the guys oissed off at the entire thread....and more.

The menu ideas are genuine DL miracles.

[quote]r83 home brewed ice tea and powdered lemonade are your cheap beverage options.

I'm thinking one could make some tasty pitchers of sangria with cheap red wine. In addition to the usual ingredients, there could be some 7-Up added for a little sparkle and sweetness.

On a budget, it's better to offer ONE alcoholic drink like this than a selection.

Do the people who thought they were RSVPing for a party next to a pool know that it’s been moved to a church, if these people exist?

"GENEROUSLY APPLY bacon bits..."

And, R478, it will be a big hit with vegetarians and observant Buddhists, Muslims, and Jews!

But it’s Dollar Tree bacon bits aka artificially flavored cardboard. Totally kosher.

So this happened on the 6th right? Where's OP?

For a tasty treat that's good to eat, try Soylent Green.

OP-don’t forget to hand them a copy of your resume along with the Tostino’s pizza roll and cookie as they enter

A networking event? Do you mean a gathering of semi-strangers who probably don't much like each other, but are willing to use the guise of "friendship" as a means of using each other for financial and/or social gain? Whatever you choose to serve, make sure it's artificially sweetened in keeping with the underlying theme of the party.

^CLEVER!

How did it go?

How was clean up? Was there any lube left?

Event is on Tuesday so I will come back and let everybody know how it went

We'll just keep an eye out on Wednesday for a news story about a mass food poisoning.

Why wasn't it this past Thursday as originally announced?

....OR murders-suicide more likely, r514.

I cunt get enough

Change of location meant change to time and date?

Make sure you have a moment of prayer at the beginning of your event, given the date.

Probably got the room for cheap, guessing most people still don’t want to be hosting a party on Sept. 11.

I imagine the next excuse for this event not taking place as "scheduled" will be that the church had to have an emergency funeral or something.

I can't believe this EST thread is nearing 600 posts. And some are finding it hilarious.

I can't believe you posted that R521. That's hilarious.

The event is tomorrow and I’m super excited about the possibilities. Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes according to plan

Doesn't the OP live in South Carolina? Won't he be evacuating tomorrow?

OMG OP I'm like sooo super excited for U!!!! Do post tomorrow nite and let us kno if u got that fab new job from the event!!!! I will stay up late waiting to hear how it went!!! :)

Will there be an informal follow-up event to deal with the leftovers?

OP, swirl the Cheese Whiz on the crackers so they look like little hurricanes.

People love theme parties.

"Won't he be evacuating... "

R524, in view of that menu, I'm sure all the attendees will be evacuating copiously.

OP, I hope the sky will be so blue for you today.

Thank you everyone!

R524- I am in Dallas, Texas

Be sure the Dallas police don't break into your venue and shoot people dead, R530.

Corn dogs

"Corn? I don't remember...'

The line is forming...

What’s the theory here? People who don’t like their own jobs are supposed to recommend each other for jobs?

OP here, event is over. Too angry/frustrated to describe... FML

Tell me more, tell me more...

R536 is not OP.

Half the “OP”s in the thread are not OP.

I so wish it had been a live-streamed event!

????? Breathlessly waiting what new job? I'd guess not in menu planning.

Ok... here’s the recap

83 people showed up (the vast majority were unemployed themselves- most of them over a year). The speaker was basically an hour long infomercial on why we should pay her to help us find a job.

There was a lot of networking especially for MLM schemes.

I feel that the organizers of the group are running a scam to get people to pony up for the costs of running this event (food etc.)

The three of us who paid for the food feel taken advantage of, it feels there was no benefit to us besides mingling with the long-term unemployed and scam artists

Well, shit, OP. Why would you have ever thunk it would ever have been any thing different?

Btw, have you met Tony Robbins by chance? Jordan Balfour?

OP consider this a lesson learned. A lot of us were trying to warn you of this, but it's something you had to have experienced.

What food was there?

R542 is not OP.

OP was either making up all this shit or is too ashamed to show up as he would be mocked yet again for being a retarded dolt.

If he did hold this pathetic event, I would imagine it was a spectacular flop. R540---great idea. It would have been fun to actually see this silly cunt with his cheap nasty food looking totally at a loss---just as he realizes that his mailroom/messenger job isn't going to materialize after all. So much for networking! OH WELL.

Back to the boulevard...

....and mailroom clerk by day.

R465 Has his pork cuts mixed up. Pork loin is not meant to be slow roasted, pork shoulder is (think carnitas or pulled pork.) Sorry for the late interruption, just getting caught up now. Carry on!

There's a whole thread on pork, r549.

I attended the party. Unfortunately due to an invitation printing error which labeled the party as having lots of TWINKS and DING DONGS most of the guests left almost immediately after discovering the table full of HOSTESS SNACKS.

I also attended the party and managed to sneak out a photo. This was the DELUXE meal. I heard the first five people in line at the buffet got Two Pringle chips on their plate,.

The new OP here. The chick fil-a breakfast sandwiches sucked. Invited mom and she got drunk and started making out with the hiring manager from Culvers! Fml. I'm doing everything right. Im networking, I'm on prep, I tithe accordingly.

Oh, R551, I think the ding dongs were there in full force.

Will the real OP please stand up.

R552, that looks delish!

OP here. The party was a complete success. As all of you---MY FANS---may recall, I was on a budget. I kept the entire dinner high class. The entree was white rice thrown in a delicious canned tomato sauce.,with some taabasco sauce added for that extra pop of elegance. The sophistication of (Italian) sausage bites on a stick really wowed,my guests. For desert, I made the luxurious choice of sugar cubes, so my guests could satisfy their immediate sugar high without the delay a Chips Ahoy can sometimes require. I set out to bring class on a budget, and by damned I did it---thank you all!

I was at the party. I snuck into the kitchen to find out what a budget meal for 70 people looked like and managed to snap a photo.

I believe the real OP was R542 because his post has the odor of authenticity. The bitterness, the disappointment, the feelings of being scammed, the guest speaker whoo uses the event as a marketing opportunity, etc. Yes. This seems about right.

OP, now that you have had this "learning experience" cast aside your bitterness. Sit down with your other two friends, and analyze this entire project from inception to fruition and you will discover some very positive outcomes. You need to re-focus, not on the negative aspects, but on the positive aspects. Maybe figure out how to monetize the expertise you have gained.

You say 83 people came to the event. That is a very good outcome. Suppose you put on an event and maybe four people showed up? You could have found yourself in the red financially too. As for guest speakers, of course they have a personal agenda. You need one too. That's all I'm going to say for now. If you visit my website and subscribe for$18 a month, I will guide you through my entire secret method to becoming a millionaire within the next 18 months.

r559 - Listen up! r542 is NOT the OP. Put r542 on Ignore and you will see all the posts r542 has posted.

You know, OP has the makings for starting a cult. We haven't had many of those since the 70s, then again some in the 90s. Anyway, we're due, and if OP can pull people in for a shitty buffet, he should be able to manipulate them into doing his shitty will.

OP, you should have read R308. Would have saved you a lot of time & money.

My husband is a therapist. When Trump as in the GOP primaries he told me abou one of his patients who paid money to go to a Donald Trump seminar. Th S was before Trump & his co-conmen figured out that Trump University would rake in more money and involve no involvement from Trump besides his name and a life sized cardboard photo of himself. It cost $1100/person. It was in some auditorium somewhere. Trump was over an hour late. He stepped up to the podium and proceeded to rail against some guy he had a beef with. No one in the audience knew who this person was that he was wailing about. He went on for 45 minutes talking shit about this unknown guy. He got a signal from someone and said, “Ok, thanks for coming folks. Goodbye,” and walked off the podium.

People sat there bewildered. They were told to leave quietly and take their complimentary pencils and pamphlets with them.

Trump knows damn well there’s a country full of rubes & ne’er do wells out there just looking to throw their money away for no good reason at all.

So did the OP’s “networking professionals.”

This is going to have a second thread, isn't it?

70 people, $300? 20 large pizzas should do it. Unlike green salads or store-bought potato salad, people actually like pizza, and it’s very filling. On that budget you can get many varieties with good toppings, including meats and vegetables, and enough to satisfy anyone’s tastes. All these budget ideas (spanakopita??) are labor intensive, and I find the ingredient lists laughable in light of a $300 budget.

Don't even think of it, r564.

I'm still baffled by the title of this thread. Here we are at 567 posts, the party is over, and OP has still not explained what was odd about the 70 people. And since he claims 83 attended he hasn't explained those extra people either. Were they also odd? op, I will never read through another thread of yours again. YOu fill us with expectations, imply false promises and then leave us to figure things out! Not. Fair.

Op's intended DL topic: "Dinner for 70 Odd People on a Budget"

I am the actual OP at R542– Although I am bitter and disappointed, I learned a lesson albeit the hard way.

On a positive note, I have an in person interview next Tuesday and am focusing on that

Fixed it for ya, Op: "I have an in-person interview . . . "

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but when I decide to NETWORK with 70 guys ---I just go to the bath house and see what kinds of jobs I'm offered. 😉

"I have an in person [sic] interview."

R569, will you bring your famous tuna melt?

OP keep ur chin up and I think ur lesson came fairl cheaply...onward

I hope OP's interview isn't with some skeevy Matthew Weinstein type in a hotel, who's just spotted a little lost lamb and plans to take advantage of them [bold]: o

Gather some loaves and fishes. Keep dividing them until everyone is fed. I’ve heard that this is possible.

Never out of wine when you have water.

Of the 70-odd how many were odd? 50-odd? More, less? did you make any sex dates? ,

[quote]This thread needs to reach 600

r542 posted one of the above recent messages and is not the OP. Put r542 on ignore and you will see he/she gas only posted a few messages.

has

19 more

Arby's just had an ad saying their new Gyro sandwich was $90 for 30 people. I think their ad agency read this thread.

This

Is.

Us.

Sucks

The

Fat

Chick

Grosses

Me.

Out.

I.

Can’t

Even

Look

At

Her

Is this

Over yet?