My partner just screamed at me viciously because I accidentally bought cilantro instead of parsley

I’d be pissed at you too, OP

Sounds like he's considering getting a younger bottom.

OP, I hope he leaves you. You don't deserve love.

Can't you do anything right, he wonders? Grab him by the scruff of the neck, push him over the sink rip his pants off. and shove your fist tight up his ass to your shoulder blade. That shroud help him get his priorities right.

There is definitely a difference in terms of taste between cilantro and parsley, but he was wrong to yell at you because he should know that you may not know the difference. Some stores even group them all together with unclear labels on the shelving.

The stupidest thing you did, OP, was suggest substituting cilantro for parsley??

They taste nothing alike!

OP he should have done the shopping instead of you. If he didn't have all the ingredients ready for today, then he only has himself to blame.

Your boyfriend is an idiot. Obviously he should have shouted at you BEFORE you did the shopping, so you'd get it right.

You sound like a dumb whore OP. Better save that meth money for an anal rejuvenation, 'cause ya gonna need it to keep your man

Throw a tarp over his head and shove him down the basement. Ass-tard should do his own shopping if he's so high and mighty. Take a big, greasy dump in his cassoulet or whatever the hell he's making for dinner.

The only reason I went to the grocery store instead of him was because he was already falling behind on some of his recipes and he wouldn't be able to make everything in time, R7.

Whatever, I cleaned up the yard and decorated outside. We are not talking right now.

He should be packing his bags. That shit tastes like soap and there is no excuse.

What the hell is epazote?

as you said R11 - He is falling behind. Obviously he is taking his anger out on you, and that is not fair. Plus if he was planning this dinner party for weeks, he should of prepared ahead of time. Instead of leaving things at the last minute.

So he has no one to blame but himself.

[quote]I cleaned up the yard and decorated outside.

Did you at least get those tasks right, OP??

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

btw OP do you mind me asking your ages? wonder how your partner could get mad like that

R13, this is epazote. It's a Mexican herb.

I’m so glad I’m single and living alone.

Whew.

OP do you know what your partner is cooking, what is the menu? then we will know how complicated this cooking really is

OP, when the guests all arrive, THEN is your time to shine! Have a few cocktails to loosen up and then let it ALL OUT! haha

You missed the perfect opportunity for a real life MARY!

Tell him, "next time, do it yourself then, asshole!" and pack an overnight bag, and stay somewhere else for a day or two, and let him handle the party on his own.

Christ, OP, just have your husband do this to you, get it over with, you'll be talking and chatting in no time, and you'll have great sex later on tonight. Or right after he punishes off. Or both. Both will work. Take off your clothes and submit OP. It's the only way!

I bet your partner is a MichFest lesbian!

I'd get sloshed drunk at the dinner party and fucking lay into him. Like tell everyone he has a mirco-penis, doesn't wipe good enough, and has horrendous flatulence.

Then look at him and scream: "Parsley and Cilantro look exactly alike, asshole!"

I'm 30, he's 45, R17.

I did do a good job cleaning up the yard, although he's fastidious about decorating, so he somewhat hovered over, watching from the kitchen window and telling me where to arrange things.

R20, it's a Mediterranean themed dinner. All Italian, Greekish stuff, but some of it overcomplicated if you ask me, such as stuffed grape leaves. I can understand why he's mad about the basil because it's for a caprese salad.

Your partner is 'showboating' in the kitchen (or trying to) and didn't plan well. He'll get his come-uppance tonight when everything comes out like GLOP and the invited guests laugh at him. Just sit back, pick your teeth with a meat fork, and enjoy the show!

If he’s so goddamn picky, he should have done it himself. Sooner.

And being a picky bitch myself, and a cook, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between flat leaf parsley and cilantro. I’ve had to sniff it or taste it to be sure.

Op, go back and get the parsley.

Tuna noodle casserole doesn't have to set off such horrible drama, ya know!

R27 / OP this a 15 year age difference and I get a whiff of a bit of an abusive relationship here. I just hope that is not the case. If this has hapened before, I suggest you pack your bags and leave

You can bring the cilantro over here, OP - we LOVE cilantro!

Wait until he has tastefully (and with great fussiness) set the table, centerpiece, etc. and then RIP the tablecloth of,f and turn the damned thing over. Then stomp on everything and LEAVE.

R27 Your life sounds like an episode of Keeping Up Appearances.

Oh OP you snagged what is probably a hot piece of 40 something ass. The gays who take care of themselves seem to ripen perfectly in their 40's. I'm 33 and was in lust with a few 40 somethings but they were partnered up. womp womp.

OP, you're too old to be making mistakes like that. It's cute when you're a 22 year old twink.

You better watch it. He might trade you in for a younger version!

OP, your "real life" trolling will get you killed someday. Either your boyfriend will smother you with a pillow while you are asleep or poison you with a dish (how do you like your cilantro now, bitch?).

He can't go back and get the parsley because everyone is dead.

Empty a bottle of laxative into the food. See how the guests feel about his cooking.

Coriander is vile. I'd be mad at you too OP.

IF, this is true, he is just mad at himself for poor prep-party planning and feeling crazed due to the time crunch and delusional perfectionist tendencies.

Isn't allspice a universal substitute / replacement?

That does not look like basil at R18.

0/10

I have to admit I wish grave ill will upon this poster, and and anyone who would have a little tantrum over something so ridiculous.

No doubt OP thinks she's funny, but desperate for attention drama queens make me stabby.

Truly, if I knew this person in real life, I would never speak to them again and, perhaps, run over them intentionally in a parking lot.

I used to scream at my partner, Garfunkel, when he couldn't get the 'parsley' right in the song.

Another low in recent posts

Just as everyone is sitting down to dinner...........

Just go back and pick the right ingredients. Problem solved, unless you live in some middle of nowhere place.

Or tell your partner to fuck off and not be a waste of panty space over something so asinine.

If I were OP's partner I would have burned the whole place down and then FORCED OP to explain to the house guests why the dinner is not going to happen tonite.

Secretly add fresh cilantro to all of his finished dishes.

While the guests are eating, look up alarmed and say "I think one of the ingredients is on a recall list for E-coli. Frantically check your phone for a long time while muttering "I can't find it, dammit." That'll show your partner.

Op's dinner party.

Scream out loud, "Well, a REAL man would order out!!" Let him think about that while he is chopping the epazote!

You can do better, anyway, OP.

You did this on purpose, didn't you? So he'd never ask you to go shopping again.

I am going back to the store. More to just get out of here and blow off some steam!

R58, please also pick you girls up some beer or just anything that would add a shred of manliness to your lives.

Is your boyfriend Jeanine Pirro, OP?

R59, she ain’t getting no beers. Maybe a Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill.

R58 Flirt with the bagboy while you are at the store. That will make you feel better!

[quote]I am going back to the store. More to just get out of here and blow off some steam!

Don't forget the tiramisu.

OP, just present hole. All will be forgiven.

Let's see. Op was sent to the grocery store with a meticulously prepared list of needed items, two of which included 'Cilantro' and 'Basil'; yet Op grabs 'Parsley' and 'Epazote' instead.

Hmmmm . . . 'Cilantro': C-i-l-a-n-t-r-o . . . 'Parsley': P-a-r-s-l-e-y . . .

Op = Passive Aggressive. (Op, didn't want to go to the grocery store in the first place: "It's your fault for making me do it!")

Anyone else hoping that OP fucks up again and brings back MINT? haha

R65 - none of this happened at all

[quote] two of which included 'Cilantro' and 'Basil'; yet Op grabs 'Parsley' and 'Epazote' instead.

Yeah, completely unbelievable. As well as not having this basic shit in the cupboard when you're even just an occasional cook, like OP's partner seems to be. And you don't buy that the day of.

What a stupid EST.

Wouldn't send you shopping, r68. You definitely buy basil and parsley the day of. And you don't keep it in the cupboard.

Why do I imagine this OP to be home alone, with his cats, refreshing his browser over and over counting how many replies.

"Oh, muffin, my Saturday has been made!!! I came up with a stupid post, and a lot of people fell for it. Look at us, we are so funny!! Let's call grandma and tell her! Yayyyyy"

R70 Why cats? Most gays have dogs. Worship dogs.

That's why they hate us. So many drama queens

R68 is an idiot. Herbs in a f’ing cupboard??

After a few cocktails:

OP: He was so different then. We used to live in the most wonderful one-bedroom apartment. We'd make love in the mornings because he was, you know....

OP'S PARTNER: Here, why don't you eat something?

OP: Why don't you eat ME?

If you are going to cut the bitch--wait a few days. Let it be a surprise.

75 bored queens and counting..... Lazy Sat afternoon.

OP is the bottom who spent too much on azaleas, I just know it.

Rene? Benjamin? Are you back???

Why do I picture of a couple of major queens prancing and mincing around in their caftans, chain smoking Benson & Hedges Light 100's, and falling all over themselves getting ready for their faux elegante soiree.

Cilantro and parsley taste very different op. You should be engaging in self flagellation right now, not posting online. You are a disgrace!

[quote] Herbs in a f’ing cupboard??

Yes ? I have all my spices and herbs dry, like I assume everybody who isn't an actual chef do. Maybe it's different in the US and everbody buys them fresh. Sounds like a huge waste of money to me.

The parsley in this scenario would have been fresh Italian parsley, otherwise it wouldn't have looked like cilantro.

Dried parsley is just green cardboard flakes, really.

Piss on the food!

Actually, I would punch his lights out...after the guests leave.

You deserve better, OP.

Cilantro=the herbal equivalent of wire hangers

OP, don't shop at Mi Rancho for your mediterranean dinner and you won't have these problems.

Honestly, there aren't a lot of dishes where parsley is absolutely necessary.

Did OP provide the menu and I missed it? Or has he gotten lost in the produce aisle?

i have been in many supermarkets where you could not find fresh parsely to save your life. and it wasn't like i was looking on a major holiday, like Thanksgiving, either.

also, i have been having a hell of a time locating edible onions. all of them now seem to sport green spots, cracks and subterranean bruising, and possible mildew/rot.

Tabouleh comes to mind, R87. It would fit in a mediterranean menu.

OP was able to get this in before the silent treatment hit:

"Are you now? You warning me? Me? I'm Harold. I'm the one person you don't warn, Michael, because you and I are a match. And we tread very softly with each other, because we both play each other's game too well. I know this game, you're playing. I know it very well, and I play it very well. You play it very well too, but you know what? I'm the only one who's better at it than you are. I can beat you at it, so don't push me."

"I'm warning you."

OP probably said to hell with the parsley, and made a hasty right turn toward the down-town sex shop/video booths. Make the sweet revenge as sweet as can be, OP!

Oh, dear, R81.

If this is real, you're an idiot OP. I wouldn't send my husband off to the supermarket for essential ingredients for a recipe. And he wouldn't send me to Home Depot for hardware. You have to understand how gay relationships work.

This is exactly the kind of thread that DL can really lay into. And even if OP's story is made up (I don't think it is), who cares? Thanks, everyone. OP, FaceTime the parsley and basil to him. Just to double-check. And to waste even more of his time.

It sure is shaping up to be an eventful evening when Nick and Honey come over.

He was already gaslighting you by sending you for cilantro, knowing that someone "not much for cooking" would probably get it wrong.

And a proper hostess has everything made mostly the day before, waiting just for reheating and fresh garnishes, so that she can concentrate on her flowers and table settings the day of.

Finally, if there is a pattern of "screaming ... viciously" you might wish to completely evaluate your relationship.

He sent OP for parsley, r95. PARSLEY. Which, by the way, IS used as a garnish.

Well it's fine to chop the parsley on the day, but not to shop for it! And the grape leaves should have been made the day before and chilled overnight. OP's hubby sounds terribly disorganized.

Martha Stewart gonna beat that ass!

Well shit, man. He's REALLY going to be pissed now!

R26, you forgot to advise him to flounce out...

Is this GG?

^Yes, it's me.

God damn, r99. OP is having a bad day.

No need to scream at you. That's rather uncivilized and mean especially in public. Everyone makes a mistake. But you did make a mistake, so can't you just go back and buy parsley and possibly even return the cilantro? Neither one is all that expensive.

Your partner needs to smacked across the face.

When he screamed at you, did it scare the fake missing kitten?

Basil

Italian parsley. It does look a lot like cilantro. I always taste whichever one I buy.

Dried basil bears no relationship to fresh except for the name. I don’t trust anyone who would use dried basil in cooking. And dried parsley is just a waste of money.

Well, who is going to eat the dried parsley?

R109 No one. Ever.

OP, the title of your thread indicates that you an asshole in an abusive relationship. Tell your boyfriend to go fuck himself, promptly. If there are unpleasant consequences, leave him.

Now, where were we?

OP’s lover spent the evening self-soothing by petting their twin cats Krystle and Alexis.

OP, are you back from the store yet? Or are you being held hostage at Trader Joe's? For fuck's sake, don't leave us hanging. Post from the store when the gunman isn't looking.

Tell him what you think about Marilyn McCoo?

I can't believe no one has said "I grow my own parsley and basil at home."

Next time try Amazon Fresh. Then you can blame it on them.

I used to grow my own basil. Parsley I didn't like enough to grow my own.

OP, be a mensch and offer to drain and rinse the pasta.

Can't tell the difference between parsley & cilantro? OP, turn in your gay card!

R115 I grow my own parsley and basil at home.

I am not into cilantro in that way, so I don't grow cilantro.

Cilantro and basil do look alike, but you can tell them apart by the smell.

I meant cilantro and PARSLEY, not basil.

Omg, you damn EST and 0/10 bitches are why Datalounge is dead. Half of the scenarios posted on DL are transparently not real to anyone with half a brain. The fun is in the responses.....

Put this up on the refrigerator, OP

Is that epazote in the caprese?

R120 I'm not into Cilantro-- in that way. ????

[quote]My partner just screamed at me viciously

Just be thankful it wasn't vicious slapping, although you richly deserved it.

Epazote tastes like mint on LSD.

I think a firm spanking is in order for you OP then intense make up sex, then you'll never confuse parsley and cilantro again....or, will you?

I don't like mint, it overwhelms whatever you put it in.

The most worrying thing is that he asked you if you can’t do anything right. That is a sympton of a greater problem.

I hate cilantro, so you would be on my shitlist.

Parsley is much more acerbic than cilantro.

OP is a fool.

He should have turned right around and gone back to buy parsley and basil.

Although, I think a caprese salad with cilantro - and maybe. a little chili and lime juice - would be a refreshing change

Hate cilantro

You say Cilento, I say Cilantro

I usually send them out for tonic water and big olives.

Ch Ch Ch Chia! Hand the significant other a box of this, OP, and tell him not to bother you with such trifles again!

This already has all the makings of a legendary DL thread.

Sorry, OP, but the sorry asshole with whom you live is not your partner. He is totally and completely self-absorbed and will never actually partner with anyone. You can stick around and put out for him, maybe in exchange for rent, but you do not have a partner.

No one should be screamed at and demeaned over cilantro. Pack your bags and let Godzilla do his own shopping.

[quote]No one should be screamed at and demeaned over cilantro.

Basil, OTOH...

So, OP, how did the dinner go ? And afterwards ?

If he doesn't come back, I guess his partner killed him.

We want to know what partner did to make up for his abuse, OP. Don't take any of his shit anymore. The next time he screams at you, make sure that you scream back louder and more ferociously than he. Do it again and again until he learns to address issues as they arise with more respect and understanding. Gotta let him know....

OP, when the party is going strong, pack your ratty valise, wearing only the rags you arrived in, and slink back to the convent. I’m sure you’ll make a fine nun.

Can he take the green curtain-dresses, r145?

R86, I went to Vallarta only because it is close by, about 5 minutes away, and he told me to go there!

OP: as a favor to us bored DL'ers. Please forward this thread to your partner.

I hope there was flouncing involved.

R147, I knew it. Sending you to a Mexican grocery store? He set you up!

^(for failure)

This thread is a long jack off with no cum. WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SOIREE?

I agree, what a dry hump....

I have the feeling OP and his partner are sitting on the sofa together reading all these posts and giggling about it.

Offer to shave his back, Op; all will be forgiven.

I have the feeling OP's partner just asked OP to go to the frigidaire and get him a can of pepsi, but OP fucked up again and bought coke! "damn, daMN, DAMN!!"

SO-OOOOOOOOOO: OP, how did the dinner turn out? Like glop? Come on! Spill it!!!

The Opees broke up last night. The argument was horrendous, all hell broke loose; a lot of remnant anger. Accusations of cheating, secret online dating, maxed out credit cards, pasta draining. Doors slammed until, I think it was 1:00a.

Op's car is now missing from the driveway.

OP's partner should have known better than to send OP to a Mexican market. Or did he (secretly or otherwise) actually want OP to fail?

A 'Bekins' truck has just arrived at the Opees.

Is 'mexican market' a euphemism? Asking for a friend.

At least epazote stops the farting.

OP, still wondering: CAN you do anything right?

Doesn't seem so.

[quote]Op's car is now missing from the driveway.

No, the car is still there, but there's a freshly-dug grave behind the lanai.

Your partner may possibly be gay.

🔎 You might want to investigate!

R164, has parsley been recently planted over the freshly dug grave?

The dinner went fine! Everybody drank plenty of wine and were very merry. Nobody ended up missing any dish which they didn't know was on the menu anyway. My partner only ended up eliminating the one dish with the parsley, which was a parsley salad that needed more time. I felt vindicated because when I went back to get basil, there wasn't any. I had to go to another store to get it!

I had some words with my partner after everybody left, while we were cleaning up. He ended up apologizing, so long story short, I guess we're OK now.

Boring, OP. It's like you're not even gay.

OP, if he is going to meltdown over parsley, just think about when something more serious happens!

Someone's being entertained, but it's not us. Thirty and don't know what basil looks or smells like? Rushing through the store because why? All the drama....Try again. D-

Anyone who mixes up basil and epazote would never know about the existence of epazote.

OP, your partner was being herbally abusive toward you. Next time have some mace* handy.

herb bump

These are the fuckwits who suggest you use onion powder when you're out of yellow onions. No, fucko red onions will not "do in a pinch". Go to the Jewel. Buy yellow onions, tonic water, a bag of ice, and extra large olives - jarred.

If it was so fucking important, then your partner should've gone to the store instead of sending you.

I say to yell at him and then lock him in the basement. Maybe he will disappear like the Data Lounge kitten?

Herbally abusive - lol!!!

[quote] No, fucko red onions will not "do in a pinch".

Red onions are better than yellow onions.

Perfect gift OP should give his partner on the next occasion: a subscription to one of those overpriced meal prep boxes which contain all the ingredients. Write on card: "Now you can find something else to bitch about."

[quote] a parsley salad

Say what now?

[quote]a parsley salad

^OP has never heard of/can't spell tabouleh.

So we have come this far without discussing super tasters and their outrage over cilantro?

Some of us don't come at all when guidos call.

NOW we really know what happened in that "gay defense" murder. He brought cilantro when only parsley would do.

Are you telling people that you walked into a door now, OP?

Tell him to spank you in bed tonight, OP.

Demand he use the cilantro while beating you!

Sounds somewhat abusive to me. Glad to be single right now.

Yes, as posted earlier, herbally abusive!....

OP, are you aware of the thread "Help, DL, Dinner Party Emergency!"?

Really, op? You couldn't take 20 extra seconds to confirm that you got the right ingredients?

This thread has the potential to reach 600.

Trivial cooking disputes are catnip for DL.

Next time, OP, ask someone. No, don't ask the 20 years old stoner stock-boy - ask for the produce manager.

OP, how about curly leaf vs. flat leaf parsley? Keep this in mind for when you want to force him into the argument where you finally dump him.

Feed the parsley to your designer parrot, Princess, go find that fucking kitten, and grow your own artisANAL garden so you learn to tell the difference. Make sure you oil the spoons you use to create fabulous dishes, never strain your fucking pasta, and don't use the fucking Crisco for lubing, whatever you do.

HA! Wrong thread, but the right OP. This was for the "I need some advice from you" EST.

Tired ass troll.

Take your beating and consider it well earned, OP.

Cilantro:

Parsley:

OP should have been slapped viciously, of course.

Anyone who says someone "should have been slapped viciously" should be slapped viciously.

It [bold]is[/bold] one of the lowest-IQ DLisms.

Thank you Mary Prisspot at R201

OP, just surprise your loved one with a wild garlic mushroom risotto.

It´s a heavenly make up dish!

I hate to tell you this, Mr. Cilantro but you are a DL fame whore now. I have seen reference to your discussion here in at least THREE other threads. Whatever shall you do now that you are so well known?

R201 Is saying someone should be, "slapped senseless," equally offensive?

[quote] OP, just surprise your loved one with a wild garlic mushroom risotto.

The OP would pick up ginger instead of garlic, turnips instead of mushrooms.

Can’t she do ANYTHING right?

It's a good thing OP is gay, or he might not be able to tell the difference between vagina and butthole.

I wonder if this is a time-delayed post from before that murder/suicide in Dallas.

I think they broke up.

OP finally flounced out...

Is he bigger than you?

For just $39,99, future brouhahas can easily be avoided with your very own Windowsill Herb Garden!

OP would bring back an ant farm...

What does viciously screaming sound like?

It's all so very confusing. Here's something for the fridge.

R206 Well,.......

It´s more the wild garlic vs lily off the valley dynamic I find intresting.

of(!) the valley

Any person who yells at or insults their partner (or, frankly, any other person) is an abusive asshole, and they should be cut out of your life immediately if not sooner!

There is no excuse for speaking this way to another human being, especially someone you claim to love.

2/10

Did someone mention Lily of the Valley?

At least it wasn't thyme.

Thyme waits for no one..

....

....

Are you sure he didn't slap you after you told him that's why his mother left him

OP, can you update us with more tedious incidents?

....

R226 to be fair, that is why his mother left him. She would send him to the store to pick up spices and herbs and he would always bring back the wrong ones. Finally, she upped and left.

If memory is serving me now, I think that after all this drama and OP eventually getting the parsley, his partner didn't even prepare the parsley dish anyway.

Next time, you'll bring home the parsley.