Are any of you bitches being held hostage right now at the Silver Lake Trader Joe's?

Shit, that's my TJs. My brother and sister's as well, though my sister doesn't like to go there because parking.

[quote] because parking

because of the lack of parking

Trader Joe’s seems like a decent place to be held hostage. They have alcohol and plenty of food. I love their tea tree body wash. I could take a bird bath in the bathroom sink.

[quote] I love their tea tree body wash.

It's weak!

Name that gunman, DL. Profile a TJs hostage-taker!

Panettone’s are only five dollars at Trader Joe’s

Ok, I’m serious and sorry, but, what does TJs carry? I’ve never been, though I have heard it’s a good store. Ty.

omg, I bring my emotional support lil chiwawa to that story multiple times a week as I peruse the aisles for organic chestnuts!

R8 = wussy hipster Miguel interviewed on KNBC

[quote] Ok, I’m serious and sorry, but, what does TJs carry? I’ve never been, though I have heard it’s a good store. Ty.

It's no Aldis.

"chihuahua"

I avoid that hipsterville TJ and opt for the one in Hlwd.

Miguel has a man bun and a purse falling out of his mouth

Across the street from the original Disney studio, now a Gelson

The suspect was heard screaming that there is NO REAL DIFFERENCE between parsley and cilantro.

Why are they calling this location South LA? Are they avoiding calling it East LA?

Dear Lord in Heaven!

Isn't Silver Lake actually North Los Angeles? WTF?

That was my TJ too, along with the one on Arroyo in Pasadena. Silverlake was closer but I went to school and worked in Pasadena for awhile. I now live on the east coast, a couple of blocks away from a TJ.

The TJ in Silverlake TJ was great and I find the ones on the east coast lacking a bit in personality. I hope this ends well.

Trump is monitoring the situation. Everything is under control now!

Trader Joe's mini tacos are good, R7.

I lived in LA from the early 80's through the early 2000's, when the hell did Silverlake become east LA? That's Boyle Heights, Lincoln Heights, etc. Then again, there are Angelenos who think everything east of La Brea as east LA. Silverlake is east of Hollywood but not east LA.

So does this mean Carolyn Bigsby is back to her old tricks?

When TJ discontinues something you got hooked on. Bitch.

I went to a Trader Joe's once, but like Whole Foods, there's no real food there.

I was over there about an hour ago at the Gelsons across the street.

Well played, R15!

[quote] there's no real food there

What do you mean by that?

[quote]Thai Chili Lime Cashews?

This. Cashews are dull and have little flavor. Making them taste like Mee Krob is a good idea.

Silver Lake is just east of Hollywood and north of downtown by a few miles. Very trendy neighborhood--used to be very gay. I have lived in Santa Monica for a long time now so am not up to date on the population demographics of Silver Lake anymore. This is one long hostage negotiation--been going on for a couple of hours. Will have to check back on twitter. Guy apparently shot his girlfriend and grandmother, escaped in a car, was chased through Hollywood by police and crashed the car in front of that Trader Joe's and ran inside.

How is their pad thai?

On CNN, a man claiming to have seen the suspect, described him as sexy and buff. Only in LA...

your intrepid r30 here: SWAT team reportedly just going in as of about 2 minutes ago.

His intrepid what, R33?

"reporter"; i.e., I read twitter so you don't have to.

Sure OP.

Okay. Got 'em.

If I get shot in the process I'll make sure a non-injured hostage get's them to you. 'kay? You said Chinese Chili Lime Cashews, right?

He better not eat up all the dark chocolate peanut butter cups because I plan to buy some of those tomorrow.

He’s black?

Do they sell tampons? I got my period.

So glad you caught that too R32. I heard the eyewitness describing the shooter as a “sexy, buff black guy with dreads” and just knew someone on DL would mention it.

Guys, no need to worry, your favorite president is on the case! We will hold all thugs and sexy black men accountable, Everywhere!

R40, I thought I heard it wrong and dismissed it but it was confirmed when I jumped on Twitter. Bet it was a DLer...

Well of course the shooter would barricade himself in a Trader Joe's as opposed to a Gelson's.

Gelson's is far too expensive (but I do prefer their deli to Whole Foods.)

I would totally give anything to be barricaded inside a Wendys right now. Yum, yum!

Too bad it wasn't Gelson's. They have a great salad bar.

Yeah, the cum Trumpster is on the case from his golf course in Bedminster New Jersey, he just tweeted (for real). Rest easy friends. The feds are helping out. (Yes, he said that.) Supposedly the shooter is injured but is still inside so I suppose if he has one good arm he can still shop for all of us.

OMG! I hope it turns out to be Roseanne Barr!!

It's a DLer who is actually 45 years old but they're being mistaken for a late teen!

Get down there and pretend you're a hostage. Free food for life!!!!!!

Use the ketchup to make it look like you've been shot! Free food! Free food!

If the gunman likes orchids, they have nice ones for like ten bucks.

When has Roseanne Barr ever been mistaken for a sexy, buff black man with dreds? You need to work on your reading comprehension r47.

He's going to be an illegal and twitter is going to explode.

Is it over? I haven't finished this delicious Chicken Marsala with mashed potatoes yet.

Just took suspect out--looks like light-skinned black man with tattoos. Fairly husky looking guy. Nobody killed.

He's in custody and is walking out now. He looks pretty buff.

They have organic ketchup hipster hostages, no need to worry about the fake blood on your skinny jeans.

Just another day in Southern California. Boring!

He's very handsome, but he shot his meemaw.

I hope the organic Hashbrowns in the freezer are safe.

I THOUGHT THE FUCKIN' BITCH WAS WHITE!

I THOUGHT THE FUCKIN' BITCH WAS WHITE!

Silver Lake is too upscale for anything really bad to happen hehe.

In honor of the victims, I'm making Freedom Fries, using Trader Joe's "Handsome Cut" Potato Fries cooked in Trader Joe's Extra Virgin Olive Oil. With a sprinkle of Trader Joe's Garlic Salt.

I am not a Trader Joe's paid spokesmodel, but am willing to be one.

The mayor just announced one woman died at the store...

WW to OP for the thread title! Brava!

[quote] Then again, there are Angelenos who think everything east of La Brea as east LA.

I know people who think anything east of the 405 is East LA.

I CANNOT. A gay stereotype describes the suspect:

I know it is bad but sitting here in Brooklyn as I watch Mayor Eric Garcetti all I can think of is he looks like he knows he is hot in bed. One sexy dude....

[QUOTE]I CANNOT.

You not only can, you just did.

Listening to that audio description I was embarassed for you boys. Antoine Dodson sounded more macho.

Was that Jason Farone in that clip?

Now the mayor thinks the woman is alive.

His sexual confidence comes from landing a blonde that has kept his children from looking like last week's bagels.

R15 wins.

You know you spend too much time on DL when you hear Silverlake and immediately think "Isn't that where closeted child star Jonathan Taylor Thomas lives?"

Who?

Would've been funnier if it turned to be Roseanne Barr.

One woman died inside the store. The police dragged her body out.

Have the sexy buff dude bring me a Super Burrito made with kale, sweet potatoes and quinoa. They're in the refrigerated case and so yummy!

R15 gets all the gold stars.

[quote]One woman died inside the store. The police dragged her body out.

I hope she got to the free sample table before she bought the farm.

Jesus, what a pathetic place to die.

[quote]The police dragged her body out.

Oh dear.

Do we know if the guy is a Trump voter?

r83 The suspect is a domestic abuser, so if he was old enough in November 2016, he probably was a Trump voter. Yay guns, boo women and family. "Supporter" might be the better noun. Does California allow felons to vote?

Has anyone ever seen a male Trump supporter with dreads?

It really would be a good time to slip some things in our bags and just walk out when it's over.

R77 If I had known that I wouldn't have posted jokes. Very sad.

Come to think of it, isn't Trader Joe's a gun-free zone.

And the odds it's a Trump supporter fall:

The gunman, described as a man in his late teens of African American appearance, allegedly shot his grandmother 'up to seven times' before fleeing in her car with a woman believed to be his girlfriend, LA Mayor Eric Garcetti said.

Garcetti said the suspect got into an argument with his grandmother about 1.30pm, and the woman believed to be his girlfriend, who was 'forcibly taken' with him, was also injured but is expected to survive.

The man's grandmother was transported to hospital in 'grave condition', has undergone several surgeries and remains in a critical condition, LAPD Chief Michael Moore said.

When the man fled the scene of the first alleged shooting, police caught up to him, and he shot at officers multiple times. Police chased him from Hollywood into Silverlake, where he crashed outside the shop, shot his girlfriend, and ran inside.

The vehicle was seen wrapped around a pole and police rescued the 20-year-old woman left inside. Her injuries have not been confirmed, but are believed to include a gunshot wound, KTLA reported.

He's black so he can't have mental issues, just anger!

So the woman who died inside was not the GF? He shot a different (third) person once he got in the store?

Is this true or did someone get their facts wrong?

He shot a TJ worker when he got inside. She’s the one who died. Girlfriend shot in the arm in the car, but she looked fine when the cops took her out.

The murder of a TJ worker is tragic. But one shopper had other things on her mind.

From an earlier report in the Los Angeles Times:

"Makela Wilson said she was shopping around 3:10 pm when she saw the gunman's car slam into the pole.

It happened in a blur, she said: Three to four shots erupted before he ran into the store. Police swarmed the area in tactical gear with guns drawn. She said an officer instructed her and another woman parked next to her to duck in their vehicles, where they remained for sat least thirty minutes.

She was briefly interviewed by police and released. Her car is still in the parking lot, brunch ingredients likely spoiling in the afternoon heat.

"I was going to make French toast," she said."

As soon as Trump posted about it, I knew the hostage taker was not a white male.

r94 and? You wanna develop that idea?

As soon as ̶T̶r̶u̶m̶p̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ I saw it was the Los Angeles area, I ̶k̶n̶e̶w̶ had a pretty good idea the hostage taker was not a white male.

Miguel's going to become a Datalounge icon.

Oddly enough, our famous chard/kale/artichoke dip can be rescued in the event of mass shootings.

Simply place the dip in your freezer for an hour. Remove and slice off the top and side 1/4 inch of dip/blood/bodily fluids and you're ready to go.

The woman who died may have got shot in the crossfire so maybe the cops killer her.

That is some complicated, WAZE-level, driving skills on a busy Saturday afternoon, with a bonus driving tour of LA.

From the hood up to the north 5, exit Los Feliz, maneuver through Costo/Best Buy-hell traffic, head down Griffith Park Blvd and the field where the carnival in Grease was filmed at John Marshall High School. Or down through Atwater Village (one of the longest red lights in LA at Glenfeliz). Over the bridge, past Waverly where the Manson family murdered the LaBianca's, another series of red lights every half block, and THEN slam into the Trader Joe's directly across the street from Walt Disney's original animation studio, where Snow White was created.

I can't believe a TJ worker was shot dead. Sounds surreal. Perhaps R99 is right.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I love you, OP.

Considering the neighborhood...... is the 'gunman' a homosexual?

This is very sad, but if the clerks had been packing heat this would not have happened!

They could have pelted that fucker to death with those 2-pack frozen burritos. Some nasty shit.

California, especially in the large cities, is too dangerous a place to live.

Everything was fine until the black guy showed up.

Anyone have a pic of his buffness?

I love those here sounding like flyovers - “MY Trader Joe’s” as if you own it. lmao.

Really, R110? THAT's what makes you laugh your ass off?

Still haven’t released a name.

And when there was no description of the man, I knew he was a brown person.

Many news channels deliberately omit the race of a suspect. “The suspect is a male, approximately 5’10”, wearing jeans, a red jersey and a black baseball cap.” If the person is white, they will add “white” to the description.

Not buff and sexy.

Miguel should be chased out of town with torches for saying that guy at r113 was sexy!

[quote] Not buff and sexy.

His grandma's final words before he filled the bitch full of lead for disrespecting him

I really appreciate how many people say no one died when they mean women died.

So are you saying women are people, r116?

My dear eldergay children , I share your concern about the situation at the Silver Lake Trader Joes !!!! Why just the other day I was shopping at Ralphs and had to actively avoid an overzealous fan in the dairy aisle !!! I was horrified !!! My love to you all , remember when you are looking at me, I am looking at you :) !!!!

Colored people shop at Trader Joe's ?? Well I will be a monkey's uncle !!!!

R118, Is that DIana Ross? She's beautiful! I'd love to run into her at the store so she could do the "Miss Ross thing" with me - it would be hilarious.

The real culprit was finally apprehended...

I said that no one died in a post above before I knew that someone had because I was watching local news here in LA and they hadn't announced the death yet and I posted here on DL right away after the suspect was brought out. I am a woman myself and would certainly never discount the death of anyone for that matter--it just hadn't come out in the news yet. Just wanted to clear that up.

Thanks for clearing that up, R122, it's appreciated.

And I swear I'm not being sarcastic, even though it totally sounds like I am.

Melyda Corado was one of the store's assistant managers (known as "Mates"), and had been promoted to the position somewhat recently. She was shot in the doorway, or just outside the doorway, as the gunman ran from the car into the store. An employee grabbed her & dragged her away from the front of the store, across the parking lot, before the doors were locked & the siege/hostage situation began. She died on the scene.

She was probably doing some bullshit return at a register -- "My orchid died two days after I bought it!" or "This cheese wasn't good" (two-slices left in the pack) -- and poked her head out, to see what that loud-crashing sound was (car hitting utility pole).

Seriously, isn't this almost the exact stunt Laurie Metcalfe pulled on Desperate Housewives?