Aren’t Bathhouses/Saunas//Sex Clubs a Safer Option Than Bringing Over Strangers From the Internet?

Apps will bring to your bedroom men who seem perfectly fine the first couple of times you see them but they turn out to have a budding meth problem.

A bathhouse is great because you aren’t obliged to partake

You are exactly right. Everyone has to show ID to buy a membership. Everyone checks their wallets when they come in the front door. Everyone is in a towel. No one can hide a weapon. And there's no effective way to get out if you have assaulted someone (which no one ever does.).

No one gets robbed in a bath house. No one gets shot. No one gets assaulted. Bath houses are the safest places gay men can ever go.

As for concerns about STD's, sure you understand the the location of your sexual encounters have nothing to do with disease transmission. Any risky behavior you in which you can engage in a bath house, you can do in a stranger's home, or in your own home. At least in a bath house, there is still some peer pressure to use condoms. Probably there should be more, but it does still exist. Alone in a stranger's apartment, who knows what you might be pressured to do. All of it unsupervised. With no one around to call to, should a problem arise.

In any event, if you're using Grindr, you've handed all your personal information to the Chinese. That's reason enough not to go there. The potential for robbery and gay bashing should be a huge warning.

Bath houses are your friend. Support you local bath house.

You are worried about bed bugs but yet think a bath house is any cleaner? Bitch Please. A bath house is full of strangers of all types sizes and levels of hygiene. Guys with STDs STIs, Scabies, Crabs and all the other hitchhikers all defiantly have made a stop at your local bath house. Anonymous guys literally having sex on every surface and every corner of the room. Cum so thick on the floor it feels like rubber and you are more worried about what one hookup from online might bring to your clean bed?

I also prefer bathhouses because you can simply fuck and go, and even pull out and quit the moment you realize that the sex is not going to be enjoyable. With home visits, you feel the awkwardness and uncertainty that doesn't exist in bathhouses, and addressing that can be quite intimidating.

Personally I love apps because I am a total slut and go through threee guys every day but I tell everyone I hardly ever hook up and they would not have any reason to suspect otherwise. My main aim in doing this is when I give someone an STI I can tell the guy he must have caught it from someone else. Sucker!!!! Hahahaha. Most of the posters on this thread are gross sluts because they ACTUALLY GO TO BATHHOUSES. Gross. You sluts wish you were clean like me.

Yes, in a bathhouse you can sample the goodies and then decide if you want the whole cake. If not, just move along to the next.

I’ve used the apps to hook up, but it seems most men out there want me to host, which makes me suspicious about their commitments elsewhere. And, not only am I loath to welcome strangers into my home, often I really don’t want these guys to know where I live.

So many men lie about their living arrangements. A lot will say they’re single, then in casual conversation or texting, they’ll refer to themselves as “we.” (And then when I ask about it, I often get the famous response, “Oh, didn’t I tell you?”)

Don’t get me wrong; I’ll hook up for the fun of the moment. I just don’t like being lied to.

I definitely prefer them, OP. I’d rather not bring a stranger home, nor would I want to go to a stranger’s house for sex. Bathhouses get a terrible rap but they’re actually pretty practical when you think about it. I love bathhouses and I wish more men would patronize them. I’m late 40s and not at all bad looking, btw. HIV - and tested regularly, too.

As a middle aged guy, I have had 99% good experiences during the actual hooking up on Grindr but when I hook up with younger guys they will often claim they have Grindr horror stories in their experience although they never explain what those horror stories are.

[quote]Cum so thick on the floor it feels like rubber

I’ve been going to bathhouses all over North America and a few in Europe and I’ve never seen “Cum so thick on the floor it feels like rubber.” That’s completely asinine and sounds totally made up. Yes, sometimes on a busy night you’ll step in someone else’s good time, but it’s a fresh load during peak hours, not whatever you’re describing.

Most bathhouses are surprisingly clean. The best ones have active, visible, constantly working custodians cleaning up everywhere.

I'd rather bathhouses, also - no one has to know your home address, no one is obligated, etc. I wear light sandals, and use condoms. I don't do anything riskier than I would do at my own home. I'm new to going to them (will be 30 this summer), so maybe it's just the newness of it. But, I hate hookup apps.

On hook up apps I either get sketchy guys who want me to host RIGHT NOW or else some rando who expects me to drive 45 mins to him for a hookup.

I’d love a regular, normal dude in my neighborhood but that never seems to work out.

Interesting article about hook up apps.

What about an old-fashioned hotel?

Grindr > Hotel is a good option

[quote]As for concerns about STD's, sure you understand the the location of your sexual encounters have nothing to do with disease transmission

thank you for pointing this out.

[quote]I definitely prefer them, OP. I’d rather not bring a stranger home, nor would I want to go to a stranger’s house for sex.

Ive done it, but no longer, no thanks

Gym steam rooms are the best, OP.

[quote]What about an old-fashioned hotel?

We’re talking about different means for finding sex partners, not a location in which to fuck. A hotel, “old-fashioned” (wtf?) or not, is merely a place to take a hookup, and one that is far more expensive than a bathhouse. It is not a means to finding sex partners like a hookup app or a bathhouse. You can’t really troll around a hotel looking to get laid. You might have some luck at the bar (if there is one), but there’s no guarantee you’ll find a willing male that you find attractive.

Why did you need this explained to you?

[quote]The best ones have active, visible, constantly working custodians cleaning up everywhere

My Second Bathhouse-Adjacent Story (ok, story two of two)

Ages ago, we had a newcomer at our local gay Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. It was January and New Year's Resolutions bring a shit-ton of drunks into the rooms before Valentine's Day or St. Pat's drives them back out, but attendance was unusually low. As the moron treasurer, I was stuck reporting declining contributions each week and actually had to dig into my own pocket to pay February meeting room rent for one my meetings.

In conversation, he told me he was an attendant at the nearby bathhouse.

Apparently, a number of men did not want the local custodian seeing them in a sober environment.

I'm sure the notorious creeps who jerk off in front of straight men in gym steam rooms and parade around naked in gym change rooms would be much more suited to going to a sex club, where it is easy to find a partner in crime.

r20, clearly you are too busy being a cunt to read OP's original question/problem.

It's not a crime, self-loathing R22.

R22, it's actually done pretty subtly most of the time. It's really great, actually.

A private venue, like your home, gives you the power to keep out undesirables like trolls and uggos gawking at you or stalking you. Hell, you can slam the door in some trick's face, because he doesn't match his profile.

I'm going to be visiting Chicago in 2 weeks and heard Steamworks is a good place. Is that the only decent place? I don't like to use the apps because the photos aren't always current and I don't want anyone to know where I live.

[quote] I'm sure the notorious creeps who jerk off in front of straight men in gym steam rooms and parade around naked in gym change rooms would be much more suited to going to a sex club, where it is easy to find a partner in crime.

It might shock you, but some guys are into the danger of getting caught or watch people's reaction to you exposing yourself / jerking off. It gives them a cheap, sexual thrill.

Wish there were more bathhouses in LA.

Yeah the “ew gross” queens are full of it. You wear sandals and sit on your towel. You bathe well after leaving. It’s no worse that your local gym for the most part. I’d much rather that then bringing it home. Of course you have to be careful but at least you aren’t risking being killed by some criminal or buried alive in a flowerbed by some guy who has hookup remorse afterwards.

SteamWorks in Chicago is a higher end bathhouse and very hot on Friday and Saturday night. It’s def one of your better options.

R25 My local straight gym has a few socially awkward men aged over 40 cruising for sex and none of them are subtle. There is stuff written about this on other sites by young men about the stereotypical older exhibitionists in change rooms. Maybe it's different when you're subtle and experienced enough to know your demographic and have a good understanding of body language.

Guys who troll gym steam-rooms are dumb. Why risk getting reported or arrested? Better to go to a bathhouse where it’s legal and acceptable. .

At a bathhouse nearby they had a problem w married guys going and then having the entrance fee reported as an unauthorized charge - either by the guy or their wives. Now there are signs that you will be blacklisted or banned if that happens.

[quote]r11 Most bathhouses are surprisingly clean. The best ones have active, visible, constantly working custodians cleaning up everywhere.

god, i hope they're well paid

Much rather deal with the reality of bathhouse than droll BS from “sassy” prissy queens

I don’t like apps because you dont know if you are dealing with minors or pic collectors. Plus I don’t want my photo online.

Steamworks in Chicago is the Taj Mahal of bathhouses. I never visit the windy city without dropping in!

I kind of want to go to Chicago just to go to Steamworks lol.

R4 has never been to a bathhouse.

R39 Yes we have! Tee hee hee! —Davey Wavey and Nellie Friend

R15, which old-fashioned hotel?

R41 The Shady Rest at Pettycoat Junction

R38: I haven't been in year, used to have a membership card, lol. It's 3 levels, with a rooftop smoking area. At least it had that the last time I went. There's a giant hot-tub in a raised area that allows you to watch gay taking a shower, there's a really dark steam-room as well that I personally didn't care for, the lounge area with fireplace and pool table beyond the lockers was always immaculate. The glory hole stalls had handles so you could just grip on while you get sucked off one stall over. The porn on the TVs was chintzy but what can you expect. Every gay should have such an experience at least once.

[quote]where it is easy to find a partner in crime.

it's not a crime

r34, you need to get out more often

Aren't you worried about getting arrested for having sex in public? And what about 'visitors' who would be disgusted by the sight?

R46 are you talking about gyms or bathhouses?

R46 - do you think a visitor would stumbled into a locked, paid-admission, gay-friendly, sign-in required location? I'm assuming you meant gyms?

Ahh,. steamworks is the best bathhouse I've ever been too. Not only is a clean, the mid-Western men are so hot and welcoming. I didn't feel the attitude I see in other places. Plus they allow you to have sex in the open so There are many opportunities to watch

Bathhouses are so much safer and fulfilling than apps. If something isn't working between you and a guy, in a bathhouse, you move on to the next. When hooking up with an app, you have to make an excuse to get out and then start looking again.

Too bad the bathhouse culture is dying. The ones in NYC are terrible and have been for a while. They are however located in very high rent districts so I'm expecting them to close and be sold.

r4, MARY!!

I've been going to bathhouses for over 35 years and have yet to contract some mysterious malady. Since I am 64 it has been years since I have actually hooked up with someone and I really don't care. I go there as much to soak in the Jacuzzi if I'm having some ache or pain and steam in the sauna. The last time I did anything with a guy there was to put him over my knee for a friendly spanking. r4 has apparently never been to a bathhouse if he thinks there is cum all over the floor--what bullshit. Some of the guys there can be quite interesting to talk to although most of the time it is quiet with little conversation, almost like a Trappist monastery. I've not seen a whole lot of anal sex there but it sometimes happens, alot of sex goes on in the private rooms which are cleaned after the customer leaves, including the sheets being taken off the bed and washed. I'd be willing to bet that 99% of any cum ejaculated either gets showered off or down some guy's throat or up his ass. I don't know where some of these silly, girlish queens get their COCKamamie ideas.

Is something going on with the Midtowne Spas chain? They still have three locations left (two in LA; one in Denver) but they still haven't updated their calendar for May. They usually provide info on the featured strippers and jack-off performers.

I am not opposed to the baths for prisspot "Ewww gross!" reasons, and agree that they are safer in a lot of ways than random hookups at your apartment. But here is the deal...

The few times I have gone, they were crawling with old fat guys or creeps who feel entitled to grope you just because it is a bath house and you are naked. Or if you do find someone you like and start playing in the steam room, sauna, sun deck, etc....they try to join in or just stand there gawking and whacking off to you. Being watched just isn't my thing, and it creeps me out.

I just don't care for the group setting. I prefer one on one sex. I can also get into really uninhibited dirty talk, and can let go more easily when I am at home and don't have an audience.

So the anti-bath guys are not just declining for Mary! puritan reasons. There are other issues with the baths that just aren't palatable to me. But if it is your thing, fill your boots.

This is why they hate us.

In a bathhouse, you can’t claim #metoo if you realize you fucked an ugly after you sober up.

There are witnesses.

Not that it reveals much about the place, but the stock photo in the original post is the first floor lounge in Steamworks Chicago. Not seen in this photo: 1) people of color, who are at least 40% of the clientele at any given time; 2) anyone over the age of 40, who are at least 60% of the clientele at any given time.; 3) Non-muscular builds, which at least 80% of the clientele has at any given time. I make no judgments about these demographics, especially because they all apply to me. I’ve been going there on and off since the late 80’s and still find great sex there at my advanced age. About 20% of potential hookups don’t happen now because guys will walk away rather than let me fuck them with a condom.

Steamworks is the cleanest, best maintained bathhouse I’ve ever been to, and I’ve been many around the world, including one last week in Rome. To the person above who asked if it’s the best option in Chicago, it’s now the only bathhouse option in Chicago. The last remaining other option, Man’s Country, closed on January 1 of this year.

R56, yaaas, it's the condoms that's making these guys not want you to fuck them.

[quote] I prefer one on one sex.

At a bathhouse, you can take one guy into your room and close the door.

[quote]Cum so thick on the floor it feels like rubber

The correct DL phraseology is "nacreous layers of permacum."

At a bathhouse there is usually an assortment of people--young, old, fat, slim, muscular, all colors of the racial/ethnic spectrum, etc etc etc

You can pick and choose whom you want to have sex with just like apps but there isn't the bullshit of apps.

R54, If you don’t want to get groped, just rent a private room and camp out there with the door open. That way you get to see everyone who walks by and you can wave anyone off who doesn’t interest you before they get close enough to grope. A room also gives you a private place to ov to if you connect with a guy elsewhere in the club.

R58, I don’t approach anyone I want to fuck. I let them come to me, just as I described above. Bathhouses are bottom-heavy places, so if you show off a hard dick of any size, the bottoms come a beggin’.

R57 - that's totally true. I was actually going to post something similar! I recognized the image too lol.

I have really had mixed experiences there - some nights amazing sex - one after the next. Other nights, attitude and fugly ass guys walking in circles for hours.

Were you at EMC in Rome? I thought that was very clean. The lights were also on at a more normal level, unlike steamworks which is so fucking dark I feel like I need night vision goggles. I guess nobody wants their face to be seen. I actually stand in this area with all this porn showing so I can see people's faces from the TV light. They even made downstairs darker - and on during october, they cover the lights even more for Halloween. It's ridiculous.

Everyone is so pro-bath house in this thread. Other threads on DL do NOT go well when people bring up bath houses. For example:

Hubby and I visit bathhouses when in a vacation city that has one. We are monogamous, so only play together, but it’s very hot to fuck in a sling while strangers watch and pleasure themselves watching us.

R63, yes it was EMC in Rome. I agree it was clean, but It still looked a little run down to me compared to Steamworks. I also don’t care for the European bathhouse model where the lockable rooms have vinyl matresses and no sheet and only paper towels to clean up with. I appreciate that Steamworks devotes the staff to providing clean sheets in every room and clean towels upon request.

Yes, it’s nice to see some sane perspective on baths in this thread. It’s fine if they’re not your thing, but that should never turn into judgment of those who feel otherwise.

I can't say that Grindr has never presented problems for me, but I think those wary of safety on media like Craiglist (it will be missed) and Grindr are either extremely naive and inexperienced or complete block heads who really shouldn't be hooking up. Part of what I liked about Craigslist is that the email portion did allow a person to extract enough information to make an educated choice. There were times where my judgment was way off, but those instances are few and far between. And there was really one time where I got myself in a dicey situation, and that, quite frankly, was due to my own naivety and lack of due diligence before meeting up. Anyone who came across as sketchy (even the slightest hint at abnormal) got cut. It's pretty easy to tell who is fake, who is a scammer, who is looking to get paid, etc. once you get a small amount of experience with it. If I am in some small, blue-collar, mid-Western town and some hunky hung black guy with perfect pics hits me up looking for a good time, that's a red flag.

As for bath houses, I've never been. I'd like to experience one. The city in which I reside does have (or did have) one, but I was always too scared to go. Not for fear of sex, but I was seriously worried I'd see my boss there or something weird like that. Also, several guys who attended told me about the scene and it didn't sound like my kind of thing anyhow. I wouldn't mind experiencing Steamworks, and that's not too far from me (a few hours drive). But like someone said above, I do like to have a certain level of control when it comes to my sexual experiences and, to me, being in an open sex club seems to demand a public element, where anyone and everyone can join or at least observe. I'm not saying you can't say no to people, but the fact that you're in a public sex club for men undermines that control element.

I needed a few klonopin to go the first time. I don't like alcohol & get them for transient anxiety - so that helped. After a few times there, I didn't need it really. Everyone is in a towel & bodies are all over the map in terms of fitness (some massively obese - very few muscle queens like porn).

Lots of bottoms... I remember walking by room after room with guys' asses up in the air and lights off. Is that a turn on for a total top? If I can't see someone's face I can't stick my dick in their ass.

R66 having gone to a few bath houses and sex clubs, I've never had anyone force themselves on me. There's always a moment of acknowledgement and consent (or refusal) before anything happens..

Mostly everyone is respectful of other people at bathhouses. If you don't want to have sex with someone who might approach you, just say no and people move on.

You get a lot more drunk / high guys at bath houses than you do on Grindr. Yes, they do block totally drunk people from getting in & make you show your bag for a drug inspection - but plenty are still a total mess. That's an enormous turn off for me.

Also, the problem with baths is that MANY people are unsafe now being on prep - and it doesn't prevent everything obviously. So, you could be sucking a dick that was just up someone else's ass... just the idea is pretty gross. I guess sucking a dick someone else just sucked is just as bad, but the ass hole grosses me out more.

I posted above about going to steamworks Chicago many times over the years (dozens)... so I am not *that* squeamish but the PrEP era did sort of ruin it for me with all the barebacking. I never got an STD (always use condoms & don't fuck that much in baths) - but I did get jock itch from hell. It took 3 months to go away with like 10 fucking creams. I assume it was from there.

R66, in big cities like Chicago, my guess is about a third of the patrons of the baths are visiting from out of town. Some guys Will only go to baths outside their own city specifically to avoid running into anyone they know. I’ve run into plenty of guys I know at Steamworks over the years. It can be a little awkward, but you shouldn’t worry about them talking about seeing you there, since doing so would reveal that they were there too. The other concern is someone you know seeing you having sex, but the cure for that is not having sex in the open.

R67, I completely agree with your no face/no fuck policy. I’ll go into a room where a bottom is lying on his stomach with the lights on, but never where the lights are off.

R4 -"defiantly" lol.

What a mary.

I love the guys at Steamworks. I haven't gone in years, but I used to go each time I visited Chicago.

The last time, two guys at Steamworks asked me out on dates. I went out with both and had a great time, even keeping contact with one of them for a few months.

That's never happened to me at a bathhouse before.

Steamworks in Berkeley is gay heaven on Earth.

I made a few short-term friends at SW too... strange how it starts with an anon bj...

OP, you asked what I think...

I think you're a SLUT!

Ok here's my question.

In my "total" number of guys, my friend said I am not allowed to count the Steamworks guys because that gives me an "unfair advantage" and I "didn't really have t work for them" but I disagree. A dick is still a dick. If I took off the Steamworks guys, the number would drop a lot.

So what do you think?

The only two long-term relationships I’ve ever had (three years ands 11 years and counting) started with anonymous sex at Steamworks.

R66 thanks for that, and I am sure no one would force themselves on you. I'd imagine workers and admin is vigilant for that kind of behavior. I didn't mention it initially, but I do agree with OP that, generally, bath houses would be safer for those concerned about physical harm. What I was more getting at was an issue of keeping oneself in that sexual moment. If I were fucking some hot young muscle stud, and I catch some other dude (who I'm not into and maybe even find sexually unappealing), it would take me mentally out of the whole experience. And I could be wrong, but I don't feel like it's appropriate or even reasonable to say "stop watching me" at a place designated for public sex. Maybe some people do that, but I think that's kind of a dick move given the nature of the venue. And despite never having gone to a bath house, I have been to group sex events at people's homes, and I find that kind of thing happens a fair amount, where I am into the dude I'm banging, and then I look up and find someone unappealing observing, or worse, trying to involve themselves.

R66, again, it's not so much fear that they would talk, but rather a fear of a shift in the dynamic due to the obvious taboo. Truth be told, that's never actually happened to me, so I am just doing useless hand-wringing/pearl-clutching at this point. But it is definitely a concern for me.

Any in PA been to Club Pittsburgh or know anything about it?

Will be in town ina couple weeks.

R79, again, you don't have to fuck in public. In fact, most bathhouse sex happens in a room, on a bed, with the door closed. No one else watches.

Consider experiencing a bathhouse, just once. Your fears will evaporate in minutes.

R78 It's the magic of Steamworks!

Not into public sex so I'll pass.

I met an AMAZING guy in a bath house in Dublin (Boiler House)... will never forget that one. Spent the whole weekend with him after that in his house. He gave me a tour all around the place / non-touristy areas. So nice too... ugh I wish he lived here.

I used to love them when I was young and horny. But a lot of them closed. And I can’t be bothered to deal with it anymore. I was impressed with Flex in Cleveland - very nice though in a sketchy area. Second tier cities seem to have better bathhouses.

[quote] A dick is still a dick.

But the fundamental things apply, as time goes by-- right?

Met a very nice guy at the Tampa Bath House years ago. He was a student in a seminary. He even gave me a ride back to my hotel. very sweet.

I love talking to people in bathhouses. You know you'll likely never see them again and you only have a few minutes to chat before they move on.

It's interesting how honest people are.

Both bathhouses here increased their prices by 50% when Craigslist personals went offline. Rumor has it they and the adult bookstores are very busy. I've managed to say ... occupied without apps.

[quote]If I am in some small, blue-collar, mid-Western town and some hunky hung black guy with perfect pics hits me up looking for a good time, that's a red flag.

While some hunky hung white guy with perfect pics is a-okay!

R66, what’s happened (or is happening) to Craigslist?

Oh, my! R91, there are numerous threads on that topic right here at the little old Data Lounge.

R90 in mid-Western, small towns of America, definitely. Speaking from experience, there aren't a whole lots of black guys in those areas, if any at all. And the likelihood that they're hung and built like your typical porn star is even smaller. White guys are way more the norm. But even then, if I am in one of those small towns and speaking to some young buff white dude, I am immediately suspicious (mid-western small town ave a dearth of those kinds of men), although not as much because the area is predominantly white (if not exclusively so). So yes, it's an immediate red flag. I'm not saying zero are legit, but any profile like that is out of place in that kind of area and is, more likely than not, fake. If I was in a larger city, then I wouldn't have the same suspicions. And I am not claiming to always be right, I've definitely made errors. And I have actually met up with really awesome black, hung, decently built dudes in those areas, but it is definitely happens only rarely. I understand where the call of racism came about, but you're making assumptions that are very incorrect mister.

R91 I heard they closed off the personal ads.

Does anyone still call bathhouses "the tubs?"

[quote]Does anyone still call bathhouses "the tubs?"

No, Gramps.

R57 was so helpful to explain that advertising doesn’t actually reflect reality.

R96, all I did was lay out the demographics of the place, which aren’t as obvious as you imply they are. Roll your eyes over that concept for a few seconds.

Whenever I get bombarded with fake profiles on Grindr I wonder if it is the same person doing it. There are so many stalker looking guys on there. In a sex club you might get harassed a little bit if you are good looking and unassuming looking. A firm "no" and it shouldn't be a problem. I have never seen any of the better looking guys getting harassed at a sex club and I have been many times.

Yes, best to find strangers in a bath. That way you can check for crabs before you bring them home to mom and dad.

While I enjoy bathhouses over apps, I think many are missing a point - people (in general and I have to admit including myself) are cheap. Apps are free and bathhouses (however affordable) or not. I agree 100% with the points above - safety, ability to walk away, privacy (or not depending on your thing), variety, etc. Sadly, all these things (for a lot of people) are not worth $20-$40 for a night (which I would add anyone would spend minimum at a bar).

I use the apps to meet guys and have lot of luck doing it so far (I'm in NYC). I envy the guys that can go to bathhouses. I'm just too self conscious of my body to walk around naked or in a towel in front of a bunch of good looking guys. Some guys I've met online at a time neither one of us had a place to host, suggested we meet at the West Side Club. I just couldn't go through with it and turned them down. Did I miss out? Should I do it the next time it comes up? If the bath house culture included showing up in gym shorts and a t shirt, I'd probably be there all the time!

R100 Apps are good for people who get plenty of messages. You're paying with your time if you have to spend a long time to find someone you'd want, as happens to me. If you are over 40 in your profile you get age filtered out by many. Time is money.

[quote]I'm just too self conscious of my body to walk around naked or in a towel in front of a bunch of good looking guys.

It depends of course, R101, what type of place you are going to, but I would bet money there are many people (and I'm right there with ya), in the same boat. Yes, not everyone will have abs of steel. Yes, not everyone will have a full head of hair - and yes, you have to accept that you will not get those 25 year olds who have both those things, but you still might have a good time. I'd encourage you to give it a try at least a few times (and perhaps off nights).

[quote]I'm just too self conscious of my body to walk around naked or in a towel in front of a bunch of good looking guys.

Bathhouses attract all sorts, not just “good looking guys.” Everyone is naked/in a towel, and hardly anyone is a perfect 10. Unless you’re a complete troll with horns and scales you’ll stand out as much naked in a bathhouse as you would clothed in a gay bar. It’s not that big of a deal.

[Quote]If you are over 40 in your profile you get age filtered out by many.

Especially if you're a bottom. After the age of 50, you might as well forget it (unless you lie about your age, and use strong filters to modify your photos). In a bathhouse, people can assess you in person, and let horniness dictate if you'd be worth their while.

R105 Exactly.

I spendt many a day in a bathhouse , I do not regret any of it

I went to one in Amsterdam last week (NZ) which was very good but way too dark. Amd one in Cologne (Vulcanis) which was fine but there wasn’t any lube or rubbers in evidence. Nice TV room, though.

Meant to add that in the downstairs area they played only 1970s Euro gay porn, which was a nice touch.

And, people recording the act on their phones, op.

R100 has a point. Bathhouses can be expensive. $40-50 for 4 hours is a lot

I only go on two-for-one nights

Just suck more dick, R111, until you feel you've had your money's worth.

I had lots of good times at Man's Country in Chicago when I was in the Illinois Senate.

Those who 'told' experienced sudden death!

[quote]And, people recording the act on their phones, op.

This freaks me out about hooking up too. Lots of guys host because they can record you with a hidden camera or smart phone. You see these videos all the time where it’s set up across the room and who knows if both guys actually consented to being recorded.

Won’t happen in a bathhouse.

R27 It's the only place in Chicago now, I think.

Man's Country was, surprisingly, not consumed into the earth but closed down naturally.

R114 Obama was never there. That was a rumor started by some Hillarybot in 2008.

My best friend met a guy on Grindr and chatted with him on and off for about a month and they finally decided to hook up at my friend’s apartment. My friend thought he was being diligent by chatting with him for awhile and getting to know him before he invited him over. Long story short, the guy beat up my friend and stole his wallet and cellphone. He didn’t call the police because he was so embarrassed plus he didn’t have any info on the guy other than his “name” because they only chatted through Grindr. My friend learned a lesson the hard way.

R117, your friend is perpetuating this behavior by not reporting it.

Now the next person is going to be victimized as well.

I agree, I'm sorry for your friend but you always report a crime like that

r116 = B Obama

you're a troll. go to a bathhouse and stop posting

All hidden closeted deceitful homosexuals must be outed at once!!!!

R120 You are SO right. A world leader is here on DL, posting in the middle of the day.

You caught me!

All men must have sex

Or else they run over people with vans.

Blocked R114 has that Erna thing's stench allllll over it.

If you do not have them to your home, how do they meet your parents (??)

Yes, if I meet a guy, he’s going to come to my place so no recording occurs.

[quote]r57 ....the cleanest, best maintained bathhouse I’ve ever been to, and I’ve seen many around the world...

We once knew a fabulous elderfishsister who was so crazy for pinga that she had three queens smuggle her into a bath house, sort of dressing her like a boy, etc/ . Needless to say, she did NOT score.

Sundays are Parents’ Day at the bathhouse, R127. I always bring my mom.

There aren't any around here, to begin with but even if there were I don't think I'd have any interest in going it's just too much pressure.

What pressure, R 132? There’s a lot less pressure in a bathhouse than in a bar, IMO. At the baths, communication is simple and once mutual interest is established, things easily go from 0 to 60 mph very quickly,

I don't go to bars either R133 but then if I did I wouldn't be doing it wearing anything but a towel, would I?

Apps are for people with double standards about looks and physique. You get that in sex clubs to a lesser extent. Fugly middle age guys often want a toned twink in a sex club, but the same guys will lower their standards when the twinks are for the most part not interested. Because the feedback is so instant people in a sex club can develop a more realistic attitude in a matter of hours. On apps it is a different story the guys with unrealistic standards look creepier and more like stalkers over the years of catfishing hotties on Grindr while alternating between that and PornHub.

[quote]Sundays are Parents’ Day at the bathhouse, [R127]. I always bring my mom.

I heard your mom worked there.

136 posts about bathhouses, hooking up, slutty behavior, Chicago, and Steamworks and nobody has yet made mention of The Wrigleyville Cumdump?

I think your are curious about these places.

I’m 29 and would have no problem with someone you’re age unless they were an Orgre.

Bathhouses are fine if you have the ability to handle yourself. You get to choose who touches you and if someone tries and you aren’t interested you push their hand away and say politely, “I’m good, thanks.” Then you walk away. It’s not that difficult. All the pearl clutching here is ridiculous. Jesus. When did so many gay men become such silly bitches? If you are that delicate, stay home and watch SATC reruns while you watch Grndr for the next 12 hours and wait for someone new to pop up.

pretty much

We were once so very young and totally naive that we asked our AA sponsor why there were no fish at the tubs.

that's because you're a stupid twat, not naive

It gets kind of addictive - it's like a fever when you enter, and you end up spending hours there having sex over and over. It's kind of awful. Same with Grindr, arguably.

There's something in soap that kills AIDS!

When I was in my early twenties, I was walking through Chelsea one night and made eye contact with an attractive older man. He stopped and asked me if I’d like to come up to his place. I agreed, and he proceeded to fuck the shit out of me.

It was dangerous, risky, and not something I would advise any young man to do. But that’s part of the appeal for some people, I think—the sense of danger. He could have done anything he wanted once I was on his home turf; lucky I only ended up with him up my bum.

the appeal is the hard cock in your hole

With all due respect, R145, you have it a bit backwards. You're always safer in your trick's apartment. If he kills you, where's he going to put the body? Under the bed? On the fire escape? There is no good answer. Just ask Dorian Corey.

He trusted you, that you would not assault or rob him and bolt out the door.

you're wrong. you're not safer in a stranger's house, not at all.

Care to explain your reasoning, R148?

it's ALWAYS riskier to engage in no-holds-barred activities behind closed doors. bathhouses it is much more visible. even a bar is even more visible. sure someone's cock gets sucked but anything can happen at a person's house, sure it's possible consensual but neither safe or sane at times.

Many sisters enjoy smoking pole or getting corn-holed in the comfort statia of a bar!

Bathhouses are for Trolls, Fats, Fems and Fugly. There I said it.

And yes, I have been to more than one in my lifetime, thats about 80 -90% of the crowd. They skew VERY old, like 60+ because those guys still living in the past with their sexuality. They still see it as dirty so they would never dream of bringing a trick home. That goes for all the Europeans as well with the glamed up sex clubs.

Think about it, on Grinder, you and block anyone for the group above and most people do. In a boathouse, they can fallow you around endlessly until you are forced to get a room to tell them to go away. Where else would Gramps get to see a 20 year old guy totally naked in person? Grinder and other apps filters them out. And as we know, this site skews Gramps so no surprise they are singing the bath house gospel.

Bette Midler and Barry Manilow stopped preforming in bath houses 50 YEARS AGO. They moved on, but apparently the DL bath house queens did not get the memo.

R152 Thinks everyone on Grindr wants him.

We use Planetromeo.com and Manhunt.com

We don't use Grindr because they demand that you join Facebook

I knew a gay who was a major priss about bathhouses and super judgemental about guys who use them. He was a big Grndr user. Then he turned 30 and gained a little weight. One day I ran into him at a local bathhouse. He claimed he was there with a friend but it wasn’t the friend getting sucked off in the sauna. Later I saw him leave by himself without said friend.

People are major bullshit artists when it comes to sex. I always find it funny how most gay men claim to be “sex positive” and supportive of sexual expression, yet go to great lengths to be as conventional and repressive in their attitudes towards sex as homophobes.

R152 insists on dragging his tricks home so that they will know that he has one.

[quote]That goes for all the Europeans as well with the glamed up sex clubs.

false. euro ones have tons of young guys. it sometimes can seem like brunch is going to be served with so many fucking young queens.

We enjoyed magnificent, massive uncut Italian sizemeat at the tubs in Rome.

It does seem that years ago, bathhouses were more social gathering places for gay men. Now they’re just for sex and with mainly older men

they are social gathering places in cities like madrid and rome and Paris

Mike and I met through a bathhouse glory hole.

R153 because men at bathhouses are looking to see loud women on microphones and listen to a closeted gay man playing piano.

We met our second husband - the gorgeous horse hung blond who also fucked fish - at 8709

we LOVE it

No...You know the rest.

Yes. . . we want the BEST

We Don’t mess with the REST

I love youse all

Holiday weekend. I am headed to the baths later today.

Can't wait to suck some dick!

Don't forget to bring your kneepads R170.

When the time comes to kneel, just neatly fold your towel and kneel on that, R171.

No cumbersome knee pads required!

You sound like an old pro R172.

I’m going to Europe for the summer. Madrid, Seville, Granada, Paris, Rome, Florence, Venice, Milan. Is bathhouse culture and etiquette the same over there. Anyone with experience from these cities? What should I do?

I found bathhouse culture is more relaxed, less uptight in Europe than US. Have a drink and sit around in towel. Then cruise for sex. Less aggressive than US. Which is not to say people are friendly - but less about “get it done and get out” and more about let’s lounge for the day.

Lounging around all day at a bathhouse somehow sounds even weirder.

Why, R176? You are not social?

r170 will enter the pole-smoking competitia at the tubs tonight in hopes of winning the "Golden Kneepad" award!

You can do this:

Bathhouses are like a drug in the sense that you have a good experience early on and spend time and money chasing that first rush.

So true, R180.

I've had plenty of good times at the bathhouse. It's been fun, sometimes it was boring, sometimes it was just peaceful escape from the world where I could walk around naked and see other naked men, or lay out in the sun naked on a Sunday afternoon. Sometimes it was an orgy. A couple of times I even met a a boyfriend there that last a few months and one whose friendship lasted to this day. I always played safe and never caught any STD.

I can't do Grindr. It's just not the same and so often (almost always) it's a waste of time. Bring back the bathhouse.

One of these days, some millennial will open a bathhouse promoting it as a great way to meet other gay men. They will re-brand, make it appealing for hipster gays and think they have invented such a new concept. I hope so anyway. However, they do it, just bring back the bathhouse.

I love hot water

Yeah, r180 it's the slot machine effect... intermittent reinforcement. Of all the kinds of reinforcement, it's the hardest to extinguish.

What I always wished bathhouses would do (and this was thirty years ago when it was more complicated and less technologically possible) is to have a system whereby you could indicate what you were into/not into. Like a whiteboard outside your room, or some kind of colored light system (like the hanky code.)

The millennial bathhouse would provide a plexiglass texting booth so no one icky touches you. You would sit around and text until you see you want to have sex with. The hipster would activate a buzzer and the guy is given a number through a slot. They chosen guy gets sent to a room where he is sanitized for the hipster’s protection and hermetically sealed to prevent any actual skin contact (gross!) lol

R185, that describes Grindr also

[quote] Like a whiteboard outside your room, or some kind of colored light system (like the hanky code.)

how fucking boring, that's what I hate about the apps like grindr

It would be nice to have a craft corner, Color Me Mine, Build a Bear pop-up shop to have a keepsake from your evening.

No R177 just not keen on spending the entire day naked with strangers.

One night we were walking past the orgy room at the Hollywood Spa and we saw a fabulous eldersister we knew standing outside to entrance. When we asked her why she was not inside smoking pole she replied: "I'm on my coffee break"!

Who is we?

Erna/MPC uses the royal we, R193. She thinks it makes her sound aristocratic like the fabulous gays of old.

Just ignore her, dear. She is a loon.

No one is forcing you to, R191. You’re free to leave at any time or not go at all.

Lots of contrarian assholes here.

I used to go to bathhouses frequently in my 20’s and 30’s. I go very rarely now.

Unfortunately the scene seems to be dying. Far fewer people go and most are older men. I love older men, but so many are just old and shapeless.

The last few times I went, the time just wasn’t worth it anymore.

I don’t like apps. I used them a while and got bored of them too.

Will stick to my fuck buddies for now

me too

bathhouses are super popular in europe though

R186, the issue of advertising one's preferences at the bathhouse has already been solved.

The bath house in my community has a chalkboard in a public area. Write on it what you seek and include your room number. Done.

same here

Never said anyone was R195.

go to bed then

r199, so low-tech. So not impressed.

low tech is sexy

Yes it has to be ironically low tech otherwise it’s not full hipster

I like it

"to have a system whereby you could indicate what you were into/not into"

Like, say, SPEECH?

or hankies

My town’s bathhouse has a blackboard for advertising. I used to ignore it, but once, on a slow day, I used it and soon had guys coming to my room steadily. Just write what you want and you’ll have your choice of compatible partners.

Why not a billboard, just think of the trade you'd get.

You could walk around with a sandwich board.

I'm going to the baths this afternoon. Thanks for that sandwich sign idea. That will get their attention!

Fun fact: EMC Club in Rome is housed in an apartment building owned by the Vatican.

that's quite handy

babies shouldn't visit bathhouses

Color / colour coded wristbands in the bathhouses to indicate tops and bottoms! I've experienced that much.

I'm experienced

How binary of you, R217. That's a far too limited world for me to occupy.

wear bracelets on both arms

Hope people are reading my blog "Bathhouse Blues" by the World-renowned expert on gay bathhouse etiquette & culture.

I need to start trying the bathhouses. On both Grindr & Scruff I keep meeting deranged, druggies who look great in their pictures, are high when they come to my house.

We never go to their house if we meet on one of those sites because they are always on drugs and watching pron!

I like bathhouses, I prefer them

Bath houses are great. If you're horny and you're there and no one meets your exacting standards... no one has to know.

Just pick one, take him to your room, do it, get it over, and NEVER TELL any of your shallow friends that you fucked someone with a 34 inch waist.

I am muscular, hung, 27 and just discovered the East Side Club/baths in Manhattan. Much more fun and easier to meet guys for sex than mindless hours on Grindr.

These days everyone I meet on Grindr is on meth or some drug and can never host. Didn't think of baths of an option till I read this thread.

Bath houses are great for easily acquiring sex, but there is also a strong social component to the experience. You can suck cock in a sauna, but you can also have a friendly conversation with a man you've just met. Grindr and the like and the the back and forth that goes with them are ultimately isolating. Go to a real place. Meet some real people. Real people who aren't drunk!

the minus is the expense

It just sounds so awkward, guys wandering around in a herd sizing each other up like monkeys in heat.

I am going to try a few of the bathhouses in LA this weekend.

R219 Fine. I like to avoid guys who don't don't know their own limitations.

r230, you sound like a girl

R230 seemingly has never been to a gay bar, a pride event, Los Angeles, New York City, Amsterdam, Palm Springs, Provincetown, or any place else where there is more than three gay men.

r230 = fish

Why are straight suburban woman here on DL passing judgement on gay men!

Because that is what they do, R236. They pass judgment on everything and everyone.

Anything is better than Grindr. It was a hot new thing. But the time put into it vs the actual sex is totally inefficient. People are ready for a new alternative. Plus the friggin Chinese own it now.

R230 that’s bad? Lots of horny men wanting each other is a bad thing?

^ It is kind of weird at first. But really, there is little pressure and you can decide to go for sex or not. I used to go, and a few times it was just as a voyeur, which is easy since there were plenty of exhibitionists on hand: a leather daddy painstakingly putting gear on his beautiful boy, a moaning bottom getting fucked hard in a sling, and an old-fashioned blowjob in the gang showers.

This was at the recently closed Man’s Country in Chicago, where there really was not a competive vibe. The crowd skewed older and with more black men, both of which had an appeal for me.

It definitely felt sleazy, not quite like an adult book store, but maybe more like a sex party with a very casual tone.

I know I wouldn’t like Steamworks or anything that promised lots of white twinks showing off their gym bodies.

And I don’t envision myself back in a bath now, at the age of 50, because I just don’t have that drive like I used to. But I am satisfied with the memory of having given it a shot.

Homosexual Obama favored Man's Country

^ I would have been on that in two seconds flat.

I had the best fuck evvvver at the gay sauna last Friday night. Grindr is so 2010.

Bathouses are indeed weird, but lots of things that can be fun are also a bit weird. I’ve never felt “pressure” at a bathhouse. The worst is the occasional persistent/agressive troll, but if you’ve ever fended off unwelcome advances before you can handle that. No one acts like a monkey in heat (what the hell?) or travels in “herds;” these assumptions sound like they come from someone who has never cruised other men before since the practice is largely solitary, subtle, and one-on-one if reciprocated. You will see sex in the open and some of it might seem outside your own comfort zone, but things are consensual. No one is pressured or forced into anything. If you see a gang bang happening, and gang banging is not your thing, you can walk by and keep going. Most bathouse sex is one-on-one anyway. People are selective, just like they are in a bar or online. If you can handle the occasional groper, you’ll be fine. A stern “no thanks” is usually sufficient.

I like bathhouses because, somewhat ironically, they’re great if you just want a low key, oral-only hookup. I know a lot of the prisses here imagine it as some wild, wanton, bareback and fetish free-for-all, but a lot of guys just want to give or receive oral. For some it’s a starter course, or an amuse bouche between courses, for others it’s an all-you-can eat buffet of cocks to suck/mouths to feed, and many are like me, bopping around, just looking for one good, mutual hookup to take me to orgasm, but not in any hurry to find it usually.

Mutual JO and making out are also fun along the way. Many newbies and nervous types like to be eased into the experience, so these activities can be quite popular. Another nice thing about the smorgasbord is that you can “fool around” with multiple guys along the way. Every encounter does not need to lead to orgasm so that kind of pressure is actually lessened.

I honestly like the steamroom/sauna best. It feels like you’re in a regular lockerroom, but you’re not that desperate troll risking punishment/arrest trolling for cock at a normal gym. You can be the biggest cock-loving homo you want out in the open and not feel weird about it. Plus guys are so much friendlier, even if sex doesn’t happen. Everyone is there for it even if it’s not with each other.

I don't understand, OP, if you're 50, even older, and look good, have a nice face and body, why is it difficult to hook up? Via Grinder, the street,the bars, bathhouses. You look, you click, you do it. What's up?

Like your style, R245.

Cheers, R247. Wanna fool around?

R245, I love spanking and a bathhouse is the safest way to explore this

I’ll spank you R249. Get over here and bend over!

Face it. It's far less complicated to use the sling at your local bath house than to screw those large eye screws into your living room ceiling.

And it is so awkward to try hiding them with macrame plant hangers.

Just go to the baths.

BATHS are a great place to hang out and relax

R252 I agree, you can go and enjoy relaxed atmosphere and either do whatever you like or just sit watch and do nothing.

The baths where there are buyers and sellers!

Didn't Bette Midler start out singing at a bathhouse?

[quote]I am going to try a few of the bathhouses in LA this weekend.

Thanks for the warning.

Recommendations for bath houses in New York City? When best to go?

New Yorkers tend to say their bathhouses are relatively shite, r257.

[quote]Didn't Bette Midler start out singing at a bathhouse?

Yes, she did. And as soon as she could get a better gig she did and never returned. Unlike half of the queen old trolls on this thread who still think they are a thing 4 decades later.

[quote]I am going to try a few of the bathhouses in LA this weekend.

Knock yourself out, mostly full of Asian lady boys looking for white guys. Gee, what a surprise.

You type Stephen Port r260

Stephen Port would be in a bath house the instant Grinder cut him off if he could R261.

He thrived on Grindr and that app is full of embittered stalkerish guys over thirty, even the good looking ones. This thread is about personal safety.

Come on, bath houses are for very old men and drug dealers. Nobody seriously does this anymore do they? The AIDS generation still love sex in a 9' x 4' closet full of crisco, but hate Truvada and PrEP men?

R264 Nailed it. 90% of the men who still go to bath houses could be my grandfather.

Alpha hunks looking for other alpha hunks are much better off going to the bathhouse on a busy night, of course. The middle of the road guys with realistic standards do the best in bathhouses.

Alpha Hunks DO NOT go to bath houses. LOL You silly old queen, quite trying to make that happen. They don't need to go anywhere, queens fawn all over them at the gym, market, pool, the beach, a bar pretty much everywhere. One pic on Grinder will get them 100 responses in 5 minutes.

Sorry but the reality is bath hoses are mostly filled with Old Old Trolls, Asians, Black, and Fugly Fat White guys that cant get laid in the daylight. And of course, drug addicts that need a place to crash for a few hours after the high. Occasionally on a blue moon, a good looking guy might stumble in, but they usually don't stay long once they check out the merchandise.

And no, I am not a uptight Mary, I have been to about half a dozen places like that in big cities and its why I don't go back.

With a shitty personality like yours no wonder you like hiding on the internet r267. Don't hold it against the people who don't fit your selection criteria, who want just to get laid without the displeasure of meeting the likes of you.

R267 is so fucking racist it's hard to remember that he's ugly too. Occasionally a goodlooking guy might stumble in. Somehow I doubt that he came for you my dude.

"quite trying", "a uptight Mary"---ohhhhhhhh dear

Oh Mary, r267. I'm just here relaxing outside the sauna waiting for you to invite me to your room. Don't make me beg.

You're an idiot r267. I've seen alpha hunks at the bathhouse. I never said bathhouses are full of alpha hunks and they never walk away unsatisfied. See r266 Mr Poor Reading Comprehension. Bathhouses are good if you are in your forties and average looking and willing to find someone age appropriate and looks appropriate in a narrow time frame. It is simply a safer and faster way to get lucky compared to looking for my peers on Grindr who will be too busy trying to pick up an alpha hunk.

P.S. I've seen alpha White hunks hooking up with alpha hunk Asians and fugs and oldies. Highly attractive people are known to have healthy libidos.

Still seems weird to me going somewhere just to have sex with multiple strangers.

[quote]P.S. I've seen alpha White hunks hooking up with alpha hunk Asians and fugs and oldies. Highly attractive people are known to have healthy libidos.

Or low standards.

I was in Rome few years ago during pride weekend and on Sunday morning spa was full of alphas. They was a line outside full of horny alphas. Never seen so many hot naked guys at the same time. I’m no alpha and that time felt really ugly.

The last time we were in Rome we enjoyed scorching hot and massive sizemeat at the tubs We actually had to choose between two of them who were very interested in us.

[quote]Bathhouses are good if you are in your forties and average looking and willing to find someone age appropriate and looks appropriate in a narrow time frame.

Appropriate in a narrow time frame? WTF does that mean? You realize you can stay all night in a bath house right?

Translation: if you are fat, middle aged, guy willing to suck any fugly cock that will have you, then bath houses are for you.

Rome is different than America or the UK, Germany, France, Spain r276. I will cut slack on my opinion and agree with you because there still is a coming out process for gays in Italy since they are slow to the game on gay marriage and acceptance. But it is at least changing.

R277 Why on Earth shouldn't fat middle age guys be willing to suck fugly man cock?

I love the german baths

I'm so pleased that these pissy, shallow, judgmental, queens addicted to their rectangular devices will never be encountered when I go to the baths. Let them all go to the Abbey and slash one another with their non-existent shallow wit. It is heaven that they self-segregate and that I will never need to push the little fuckers out of my way.

Love bath houses over Grinder and guys hiding behind fake pictures on the phone. Everytime I go to a bathhouse I meet some XXL muscle hunk!

I have meet and had some of the best with men at the baths here in FTL!

Love the baths in Fort Lauderdale!

[quote]Or low standards.

Your “low standards” may be someone else’s fetish. I’ve seen it in cruising areas: sometimes the hottest muscular guy comes in and goes right for the older dudes or the fat guy. I can never figure it out, but I guess they’re into “dads” or “bears” or something. As long as they’re getting their rocks off, what do I care?

What if you don't do either?

Good for you r286. How do you ptefer to socialise?

I usually just meet people through friends or common interests.

That's great. I would like to try that.

Rome wasn't built in a day!

Rome is just lovely.

Roma has great bathhouses

I like to go to the baths to practice my interpretive dance routines.

Love Italian cock in Rome

[quote]I like to go to the baths to practice my interpretive dance routines.

Ooooh, I think I’ve seen you there, R293.

Your “Steven Hawking Does Disco” interpretation was absolutely enthralling.

I'm in a bathroom as I type this

I'm in a bathhouse as I type this

I’m in a bath as I type this.

Can someone do my back?

I’m in a Bed Bath and Beyond as I type this.

well, there you go, the DL all in four replies

[quote]Rome wasn't built in a day!

Rome wasn't built like you either, Ethel.

Anyone else gonna join me at the tubs tonight?

Sorry, R302. I'm going tomorrow.

Any experiences with the Philly bathhouses?

Rub a dub dub a herd of whores in a tub.

That doesn’t even scan properly.

R304, pitiful, very poor bathes, and facilities

Baths are more fun than Grindr. Or Grindr without the drug addicts.

[quote]pitiful, very poor bathes, and facilities

Oh, dear!

Junkies are everywhere gay men congregate in groups R308 on or offline so get used to it.

junkies are easier to spot in person

Yeah there are meth heads everywhere, but at least at the tubs the junkies self-sort. It can be difficult to suss them out on the apps.

exactly. I'd rather not even invite them over to my house if I can help it.

It’s all about the tubs where I’m standing

I hate it when the seemingly nice new hook up buddy met on Grindr turns out to have a meth problem.

R315 Join is at the tubs! Come on in - the water’s fine! 😊

Us

Looking for a job this week, LOL no bathhouse for me.

[quote]R244 People are selective, just like they are in a bar or online. If you can handle the occasional groper, you’ll be fine. A stern “no thanks” is usually sufficient.

Are you allowed to carry pepper spray??

Pepper spray?

How do you Nervous Nellies get through a day in which you must interact with other persons?

ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS

[quote]Looking for a job this week, LOL no bathhouse for me.

Have you considered a career in bathhouse management?

I've gone to bathhouses for a couple of decades, and have made several good friends there. I've also for better or worse dated a number of guys from bathhouses. The beauty, ages and types of people at the bathhouse vary with each visit. You never know what you are going to find. One of the good things is that you instantly know whether a hookup is going to work and if it is not going to work you can move on. It seems like a lot of work to hook up on grinder or scruff and travel a distance and find out you are not attracted to the person. Bathhouses are not for everyone, but those able to keep a clear head about what they are doing and who they are engaging with, a bathhouse can be a lot of fun.

r322 I was fired from customer service jobs. I'm more a behind the scenes kind of guy.

[quote] I've gone to bathhouses for a couple of decades, and have made several good friends there.

me too!

there is honor amongst thieves. if he goes there, and sees you, talks to you, you can bet he'll have your back

[quote]I'm more a behind the scenes kind of guy.

bathhouses need those too

I’m in Rome. Can someone recommend a bathhouse? Mid forties regular but discreet guy. More voyeur. Also I hope bathhouses don’t have a ton of people snapping away with their cellphones. Can’t have or pics out there.

make it HAPPEN!

R327, either man up or stay home and read a book.

R199 was that Club Z in Seattle? my 420 dealer would meet me there and write "Diana Ross" on the chalkboard to let his customers he was in residence and doing business that night. The bald-headed manager there was an asshole BTW.

Bathhouses are back in vogue again!

I love going, I'll pencil it in this week

How come lesbians don’t have bathhouses?

Wouldn’t lesbians enjoy their own tubs too?

they prefer potlucks

If you rent a room, you'll get the hottest guys if you decorate it like a vintage boudoir photo, or an old Hollywood glamour Mae West powder room theme.

There used to be a women's bath house in San Francisco. Osento. It was on Valencia, not far from Dolores Park.

It's gone. The building was turned into a condo. Of course.

The lesbians I knew there all complained that it was a women-only safe space and they could get steam there, but it was not for getting laid.

If it didn't exist in San Francisco, the only possible alternative would be to carefully check Portland and Seattle.

R337 no one gives a fuck.

Can we get back to discussing man sex?

If the baths don't work, go to their house

Getting rid of your body isn't exactly easy.

Just because of you and your nasty attitude, R338, no. No, we can't.

Here this is for you: Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy

Suck on that for a while, R338.

Need need for pussy at a bathhouse

I thought our big issue was wedding cakes.

[quote]If you rent a room, you'll get the hottest guys if you decorate it like a vintage boudoir photo, or an old Hollywood glamour Mae West powder room theme.

Would a "Downton Abbey" theme work?

Asking for a friend.

[quote] Yes, sometimes on a busy night you’ll step in someone else’s good time, but it’s a fresh load during peak hours, not whatever you’re describing.

You make it sound like an aesthetically pleasurable experience.

it can be

I was a kid in the 80's so bathhouse equals plague zone in my mind I guess.

Can you steam your cervix in a bathhouse?

Watching Davey Wavey and his guest squirm while trying not to admit that they won't fuck the ugly people who also happen to be their audience @ r40 is more fun than a bathhouse.

There are bath houses still in several US cities.

Why does Davey Wavey wave at r40 like he's a five year old boy?

He could get away with shit like that when he was 23, but not now he's in his late 30s he looks like an idiot.

It's probably a homophobic troll and/or frau, r52.

They come to datalounge just to gay-bash. Typical of social conservatives, they just make up their own facts to slander anyone who does anything different from themselves.

I can get you a job at the baths, Mary.

r54 just doesn't know how to cruise, probably because cruising culture is largely dead and only remembered by pre-internet generations.

In the Olden Days, there were always trolls, voyeurs and unwanted gropers and it was always sexual harassment/uncool/ not what the majority was doing.

In a bathhouse, you can rent a private room with a lockable door to shut out the sociopaths. In almost every cruising area, you and your partner could find a place to hide from the other cruisers, too -- even if that meant driving away together and going to a lockable place. But that was rare.

Most people get the hint you're not interested and move along as long as you don't give them attention.

Oh, wook!

Dis thread isn't going da way da poor, widdle anti-gay propagandist @ r63 wants it to!

Apps "undermine your control element" a lot more than bathhouses, r66.

Through Grindr, somebody has to give up their whole identity and security to host. Learning your address or license plate number allows people to find out your name and other personal info. And letting strangers into your house enables them to steal anything they like when you're not looking — which HAS happened to me.

What did they steal, R355?

Since r149 can't understand why you're not safer in a stranger's house, here's THE COLLECTOR to "explain the reasoning."

And if you're still too stupid after that, I recommend the sequel, THE COLLECTION.

Yeah, r222.

Whoever said Grindr is the place to avoid druggies was CLEARLY HIGH.

I have struck out with major meth heads the last 5 times I have used the app, which was over the last 6 months.

What happened when the meth heads showed up? Were they superfreaks (but not in a good way)?

Safer in a stranger’s house? Tell that to Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims. He had no trouble disposing of their bodies. Nothing will convince me that going to a total stranger’s house alone is safer than going to a business where they check IDs and charge for admission. You are truly fooling yourself if you believe otherwise.

You can tell who is on meth in a bathhouse, just like you can tell what people actually look like when you see them in person. People lie on Grindr. Can’t lie in a bathhouse.

No, r246, Grindr is full of phonies, fake IDs, obscuring pics, photos of guys' knees, chests only, sunglasses, ears; it has stalkers, time wasters and pic collectors.

Grindr is almost NEVER as easy as you say.

R360, pretty much.

This is fine.

[quote]R355 letting strangers into your house enables them to steal anything they like...

Like one's VIRTUE!

[italic]No thanks!

They stole my drugs, r356, which I had stashed away in a cabinet. Someone also stole my former roommate's Fahrenheit cologne, soap and "Bed Head" shampoo and conditioner.

But I've heard of computers and wallets getting stolen. If I owned as much as I plan to, I don't think I'll be hosting at home from Grindr.

Luckily, r259, I only hosted for 2 of the meth-heads.

Both were hottish. One was hung, hard and didn't have the limp "crystal dick" syndrome, so we managed to have a good time. But there was still that issue of being in different gears -- I'm never able to keep up with the manically fast fucking desires of tweakers.

The other guy has a HUGE cock that only stayed hard the first time we were at his place. So when I hosted, he was mostly limp. We had to try for half an hour until his semi-hard dick came and he got the fuck out. But I didn't cum or have any fun.

The other three guys I easily turned around and ditched. Two without touching because they were emaciated zombies totally misrepresented by their pics. The third and I were into each other, but he didn't want to bottom and he couldn't get hard, either. So I just excused myself and let him go back to his pipe.

Sorry, r366 was for r359.

Yikes R365 that’s bizarre. Who steals toiletries?

R366 That’s so disturbing. I imagjne the Grndr mehheads looking like Dawn of the Dead extras, but in real life!

R358, what about BBRTS? Is that any better for finding non-druggie guys?

Am I merely fortunate? I live in a city with plenty of drug users. Sometimes I've had them to my place unawares. Nobody has ever ganked my stuff or threatened me. In the past ten years I've hosted dozens of guys, never a problem. Maybe it's because I only invite bottoms over.

The only drugs the guys on BBRT are on R369 are antivirals.

The bath houses have their ups and downs, but they are an important part of gay culture. Everyone should go.

I guess I'm not gay cultured then.

R 327, EMC in Rome is as good as it gets in that city. Most action is behind closed doors b/c there aren’t a lot of open play areas. But I watched action in the wet area and had an audience when I got head in the porn area.

I love head

BBRTS IS GROUND ZERO FOR METH HEADS!

Seriously, maybe about 5% of the guys there AREN'T on meth. They always advertise for "P n P," which means meth.

Barebackers are usually junkies.

90% of Grindr tricks are high on meth and you have throw them out. There is a serious drug problem in the gay online sex community.

"the gay online sex community"

MARY!

It's funny when the ones who go on Grindr every night call themselves non-scene.

Lol r380.

Has this thread popped up from the 1970s?

Hilarious.

Nope. I mainly know young guys into going to bathhouses

On what planet R383?

R384, how would you know who attends bathhouses? By your sanctimonious tone, it’s obvious you don’t go to them. So how do you know?

Lots of younger guys are now going to the baths.

Young guys love it

I used to have tricks into my apartment until one of the little darlings stole a valuable gold ring. (Mostly sentimental value, but still.)

I went to bathhouses until I viciously slapped the manager once

Last night we enjoyed gorgeous big thick Argentine sizemeat from planetromeo.com And NO rubbers!

R388, put your valuables away someplace out of reach of children before you have tricks over. That's what I do. Never had a problem.

Bathhouses are usually full of cumdumps singing the all powerful PrEP and as a condoms only top I'm not interested.

I thought I had, but he was a sneaky little weasel.

r392 You'd be happier on Grindr where the cumdumps on prep will claim they only use condoms and hardly ever hook up. Liar4Liar.

Thank you for your contribution R394 but surely there is an option besides fucking strangers in a bathhouse or trolling for strangers to fuck online.

What a relief that you think so r395

We will present you, R395, at the next Data Lounge Debutante Ball.

Can't guarantee any takers, though. That's up to you.

I'll wear the crown with honor R397.

Queen for a day

Is it true that a survey found that 75% of grindr users are positive or have an std? I have never been on-too old-and I don't have the libido I used to....... but it seems like a lot of time is wasted looking for the right one. I am glad I bathhoused pre Aids....St. Marks Baths and Man's Country in NY and 8709 in LA- WOW! It was very ego boosting to fuck some Colt models. Today- eating out a stranger's hole at a bathhouse is very unappealing. Prep or no prep. After losing so many people I knew to AIDS anonymous sex just doesnt do it for me anymore. I had my fun. But for the youth of today- go for it with a good conscience.

Grindr is reasonably safe if you get enough variety of sexual offerings to be discerning and play safe and you use your bullshit detector at all times. Bathhouses on the other hand take a lot of that requirement out of the process.

Scrowlr is where it is at!

Everyone believes that they are a great judge of character with a foolproof “bullshit detector.” Even the cleanest looking guys can be ridded with STDs and even the meekest seeming guys can be killers.

Good luck to all!

Vicious face slapping always weeds out the wimps

Vigorous ass slapping is better!

that works too

Neither one for me. Much easier, safer and faster just to wank off to porn at home and be done with it. Seriously. WAAAAAY too much trouble and risk just for an.....orgasm.

That's all it is for you, R407? Just an orgasm?

It is very sad that sex in your view has no social aspect, no intimacy, no sense of camaraderie or closeness. It must suck baaaad to be you.

Ummm, when it means having sex with a total stranger who may have AIDS or be a serial killer or simply be a horrible human being with a "hot bod," and with whom there is ZERO emotional connection, then, yeah, jackwagon, it's pretty much about the orgasm. Because it sure as fuck isn't about "camaraderie" or "closeness." WTF.

There are lots of really wonderful people in the world who have AIDS, or are HIV+. If you are using condoms when you bottom, then you're going to get it. The duration of your familiarity with your top is not a factor in preventing HIV transmission. As for serial killers, there are damned few of those.

But loneliness is everywhere and it is corrosive.

"If you are using condoms when you bottom, then you're going to get it." NOT. NOT going to get it.

No one on Grindr uses condoms anymore!

Yeah but barebacking is different when you're on Grindr, not like those nasty bareback sauna sluts.

right

[quote]R389 I went to bathhouses until I viciously slapped the manager once

Can you elaborate on this?

Was it Halloween? I'm imagining some kind of costume...

Why are str8 people making babies? That means unsafe sex!!!!! So only sisters have AID$? What about diesels and bulldozers? Why are they 100% AID$-free?

R415, yeah, a birthday suit

The weekend is upon us. I'm going to the baths tonight.

Who else here is going to dive in?

Why is Erna/MPC not signing her post at R416?

It’s Pride weekend in LA.

I’ll go Sunday afternoon. Should be full of horny bottoms by then.

I’m going NOW

It always seems weird to me to read here men think it weird going somewhere to have sex with strangers … that's gay bars, the tubs, rest areas. Get out guys, get it on! I've been in the tubs in New York, Atlanta, Miami, Detroit … good times and not, usually guys you'd cruise on the streets or pick up in a bar. NOT filled with old farts you need to push away. Where do DL posters get their ideas about that? Guys, go out and get educated.

Bathhouses are safe and sound

Any bathhouse fun this weekend?

Back in the day you could get some cock at the Wall Street Sauna. Then they closed it.

Why does the country's largest city (NY) not have a bunch of bath houses / saunas? WHY?

Giuliani hit the adult business really hard, the baths included. Gay sex needs moved over to private parties that were not so easy to regulate and harass with constant Health Department inspections, Fire Department inspections, Building Code Inspections, etc.

There may be some opportunity for someone to work behind the scenes and rectify this, but all that investment in real estate makes a club vulnerable to government harassment.

My big mistake was using Craigslist

Does anybody here go to Paddles on 26th street, or the Rainbow Playground in Astoria, Queens?

ALL NIGHT LONG

The reason the baths closed in NYC is due to 1. real estate prices, and 2. apps, even though nobody is getting any on those.

R424 I was in Sun City on Sunday at 5 pm and there were hundreds of men, most of them good looking with tight bodies. Lots of oral action in Turkish sauna.

NYC has become a sterile, sexually antiseptic backdrop for Instagram posts. Though admittedly I’m older, the amount of hooking up on Grindr and apps doesn’t match the olden days of NYC - even in the AIDS-phobic 90s. The other middle tier cities I travel to for work have much more interesting, diverse, unpretentious and democratic sex scenes. Maybe it’s real estate prices - maybe it’s the people.

NO ONE has sex in NYC anymore, but they take lots of Instagram photos from the gym or when eating.

Democratic sex scene? So does the bottom in the gang bang get elected by a majority vote of all the other bottoms?

There need to be more Instagram posts taken inside bathhouses.

Revenge porn is illegal, so no.

Went to the Rainbow Party about 7 years ago, (the last time I was in NYC). It's in the middle of nowhere - industrial part of Long Island City, in an abandoned warehouse of some sort - but it was fun in its own way. You check your clothes in the little locker room at the front - I think most people wandered around in underwear. There were a number of different rooms, some video rooms, some dark rooms, some glory hole rooms, a gimongous bed/mattress sort of room - but it was still much smaller than a bath house, and I didn't feel that cleanliness was anything close to the level of a bathhouse. . I was there just for the voyeuristic kicks and stayed away from any surfaces that I felt were overly nasty or that would leave me with MRSA or some other contagion. Most sex areas were quasi-public. The majority of activity was mutual masturbation, but there was a fair amount of oral and some BBing that mostly happened on the big mattress thingie.

Attentia r425: Are there no parks? Are there no T-rooms?

I'm a lesbian in not so gay friendly country.

One of my foreign gay friends here who's a grindr sex addict got totally robbed after one night with a rough pickup at a sleazy hotel. I forgot if he got slightly beaten up or threatened (nothing serious if I don't remember, it was long ago).

He couldn't and didn't want to go to the police at all - they probably wouldn't do a thing unless he's a famous or important person; he was ashamed of his stupidity; he didn't want it known (esp. to his hot doctor bf)

I shuddered to think what if he encountered a rapist, serious attacker and/or someone with weapons instead of petty criminal?

Also I went through a sex crazed period. I've only been with somewhat well-off other professionals - a lot of times we knew each other's workplaces, social media or shared a few mutual acquaintances.

All the time they brought me, wanted me to come to their places or sometimes we were at hotels, etc. One short term intense fling went on to impersonate me on dating apps using my provate photos.

Another one I was casually seeing (but we were no gfs until then) used to pop up at my workplaces, called me there (colleague picked it up), sent me stuff there when I said no to each. She even called the police because my phone was off one morning-afternoon (after bothering many of my contacts she knew) and she didn't know my exact address to show up.

Another girl told me a story of her friend whose hookup stole massive amount, her id and other important things while she was asleep.

While I laugh at my such period now (or mystupid adventurous travels), I don't want any of it now.

time for bed

Sorry, Erna at R438. There are no parks and no restrooms in New York City. True fact.

You should probably just stay wherever you are. Don't come to New York City.

I had some pretty hot hookups at Club Body Center in Miami and The Club in Ft. Lauderdale back in the day. You checked in, stripped down to a towel and hit the showers, hot tub or pool... then into the steam room where there was often orgy fun going on. Then if you had chemistry with someone you could go back to a room or find a place to go at it. One memorable time at the one in Miami, in the maze outside in the back a super hot young guy gave me a great fuck... another time a young (although older than I was at the time) cuban with a tight body begged me to fuck him. I should have married that dude... so hot. Another time in Ft. Laud, I started talking to these 2 guys in the pool... one was skinny and cute, the other stocky and not that cute, but funny and nice. We started fooling around in the pool and went back to a room... as we were playing around, the skinny good looking one got up and left and I wasn't sure I wanted to stay with the other guy, but I did, and it turned out to be great sex.... I always wondered if it was some kind of set up to get the not so good looking one laid... either way, those were fun times.... now I am old, and fat and wouldn't bother with any of it anymore.

Miami! I was visiting back in the mid-1980's, when I was in my physical prime, and went to one of the bath houses there. While poking around, I looked in a large private room whose door was left partially open and found a middle-aged guy being done by porn star Sgt. Glenn Swann. 'Sgt. Swann' beckoned and in I went.

What followed was a memorable few hours. That porn star good looking, hard bodied, hairy, hung, and knew how to put out.

r444: We found photos of Sgt Glenn Swann and if you consider that 'hung' then you are truly from tinymeatland!

More than well hung enough, Erna.

Lots of sex clubs and bathhouses in New York! I was cruised and sucked off in a dark area of Washington Square in the Village Sunday night.

Thanks for the info/tip about Washington Square in Greenwich Village. I hooked up with hot law student I cruised and played with there!

Stay away from Hudson University!

We had lots of fun in the T-room of the Royce Hall Library at UCLA - CIZEMEAT CITY!!!!

Sex in Parks!

I am going to San Francisco for Pride this weekend. Bathhouse recommendations in SF?

Public sex has never been a turn on for me so that's a no.

It's not like Grindr. There's a bathhouse group ambiance and the smell of sex and pheromones. Intoxicating if you're into immersive sportsex. Even when you're not having sex there is sexual activity all around you.

There was a period when I went to bathhouses in middling sized cities when traveling. They were all great, much better than the ones in New York.

Tell me about it R425. I've a fuck-buddy on Long Island, says there is a NYC bath, the East Side Sauna. I've no idea of it, looked it up, it seems to still be in business. Living nearby, Washington Square Park may be fun at night ... all it takes is one to click with. I went into the john there long ago, GRUNGY, couldn't go back. But even if closed at night, sitting nearby, like near Judson, can't hurt.

Older guys here, help me out. Why do you not like your body, why give up? Guys posting describing themselves as old and fat and no longer having sex, why? Even old and fat, aren't other old and fat people horny? Does sex just stop after 50 or 60, older? Wouldn't ya' think eldergays could find one another? Erna posts can sometimes be fun, but that doesn't sound like a late-life to have.

I always thought bathhouses was something from the ancient times. Who wants to have sex in front of random non-hot strangers anyway?

R458, you've the wrong idea ... you don't " have sex in front of random non-hot strangers." First, there are individual rooms. B, most of the guys are NOT non-hot. Three, anyone is a random stranger the first time you have sex with them. The excuse the plain offer that sex they know nothing about involves only the not-hot is When you are older, fat, ashamed of your body and what you've done to it, cannot attract sexual partners and are fearful of going out, that's what's ancient.

R408 But there is nothing like that when it's sex with strangers. What kind of intimacy or camaraderie could I feel with a guy who's simply here to get me off and then he'll switch to someone else? He isn't my friend or my lover. I don't give a fuck about him essentially and neither does he.

R459 So you have an intellectual conversation with someone who pleases both your eye and your mind, then you have a long unhurried bout of passionate sex in a place with no neighbours doing the same next door over?

I don't know, bathhouses seem to have come from the era where you couldn't reallt go out with a man so you had to limit yourself to the quick fast food idea of sex.

No R461, it's just guys like sex, no strings. No romantic fantasy.

R461 expresses a clear non-male perspective on fornicating. She is a frau who believes you have to dine somebody before you can bed them.

I'm a gay man R463 and I don't get the appeal of hooking up with strange dudes who might be carrying who knows what in public either.

^^ a clutch is entirely appropriate to carry on a night out, Rose.

[quote]I don't know, bathhouses seem to have come from the era where you couldn't reallt go out with a man so you had to limit yourself to the quick fast food idea of sex.

R461, this is more accurate than not. Granted, we’ve come a long way, but that’s where tearooms, cruising areas, etc. originated. The only place you could find someone of the same mind as you was at one of those locations. However, the thrill of the “hunt” is still there, too. As R462 said, guys like NSA sex.

Great comeback R465, I'd call you Blanche but she at least had the class to kept her slutdom confined to the privacy of her boudoir.

At least here in Europe gay saunas are rather popular. I don’t see the problem, because it is secured place, everyone knows why they are there. Everyone is entitled to do whatever they want to. You always have right to say no and walk away. I’ve been in places where hundreds of men are looking for action, mainly oral. There is a need to these places, because many men like to do it with strangers and many want to be close to other naked men. Sure there are so called sluts cumdumps available, but also men who just watch and masturbate. Why judge anyone? Know yourself and what you are willing to do, let everyone else do what they want. Finally, I see very rarely fat people in saunas, more guys who go to gym often, take care of their bodies, young and middle aged guys.

Baths are more fun & safer than Grinder.

Millennials, generally, have lost the ability to socialize with anything other than their Rectangular Devices. They are adrift in a digital world that does little for them but generates scads of money for Google and Apple. And these kids have no idea whatsoever of how tightly corporate America controls their view of reality.

Bath houses are inherently social institutions. They have always been safe places for gay men to meet one another and socialize, one way or another. That's just too much genuine personal interaction for a generation of young men who have never showered in front of another male. I don't blame them for their damaged state. But I don't accept the situation. They should take charge of their lives and banish these damaging deficiencies.

Go to the baths, kids. Meet a nice guy.

Like your style R470

Hope you guys aren't walking around these places barefoot.

Rubber flip-flops give a nice bounce to your step while you're cruising for dick. I highly recommend them.

I went to Washington Park near NYU and it's great for outdoor sex at night with hot young students!

[quote]r439 I shuddered to think what if he encountered a rapist, serious attacker and/or someone with weapons instead of petty criminal?

Sister, we both know the penis IS a weapon!

Rather have sex in a park or the baths than at Grindr hookups place!

In the park, no one can hear you scream.

I hear those little rooms bathhouses offer are good for muffling cries for help to R477.

Absurd, R478. The walls of those little rooms never go all the way to the ceiling.

Hearing some people fucking makes me horny.

Baths in Europe are heavenly!

Well, then a towel and chloroform will have to do R479.

People will sit around the sauna looking at their smartphones.

In the heatwave, the baths are the best place cool off and have a hot time!

I wish I was at a bathhouse right now - so hot.

I feel so sorry for the people that have to clean those places.

*^I don’t.

I’m sure most DLers would volunteer to do it with a straw.

Sadly that's probably true R487.

Another thread where ElderGays reminisce about the Good Old Days.

Apps are easier, more private and make getting sex about as quick and easy as ordering Chinese take-out. That means you can have a quick sex break, not make it the main part of your evening. If you've grown up with these apps it's pretty easy to eliminate any sketchy types too.

There's nothing hot about seeing unattractive people naked, let alone screwing each other, or having unattractive people watch as you get your cock sucked. If there's no one interesting on Grindr, I can leave the app and read something or waste time on DL and then go back an hour later or even the next day without feeling like I've invested the time and effort and money to go to a bathhouse to troll for sex.

Then, when I actually go and do something social, I can do something non-sex related, which means I can hang with hetero and homo friends.

I don't like bringing strangers back to my place. I always meet someone from Grindr around the corner from my apt first. Often times they don't look like the profile pic on Grindr. A bathhouse is fun. No one knows where you live (specifically) or anything else about you. I go to West Side Club in NYC. It's a bit of a dump but there are some HOT guys there on a Saturday night.

I suspect we have very different definitions of "HOT guys" R490.

The West Side Club is disgusting. Not because it is a bath house, but because it is a shitty bath house filled with Chelsea Boys drunk or tweaking on crystal.

And if someone wanted to meet "around the corner" from their apartment--that's way too much work--I'd (to use the DL-ism) punch and delete and on to the next guy. If the guy is not what his photo looks like, just say "Sorry, I'm not into it" and leave. He'll know damn well why you said that if his photo is old or fake.

I can't believe that some of you invite total strangers you've met on Grindr into your home. That's a surefire way to get robbed, beaten, or worse.

I have expensive figurines.

[quote]I have expensive figurines.

As any self-respecting gay does.

Well-played R494.

I'm sure The Maiden Aunt Brigade specializes in figurines.

R496, there’s a HUGE demand for those on the black market. In my neighborhood, if word gets out, you could be mugged for your figurines alone.

I would wipe the black market ones off with a diluted bleach solution before bringing them in my house though R497. You never know where they've been and you don't want to introduce STIs to your pristine home. (Emphasis on the "pris")

West Side Club is dumpy but I'm not going to drive to Philadelphia just for sex.

R494 Not to mention Royal Douton china set with hand painted periwinkles.

[quote]I have expensive figurines.

I never realized they were pricey.

They might trample my begonias on the way out and Mr. Picklepuss doesn't like strangers in the house.

Back in the '80's, I went home with a man after a few cocktails at the Regent East. When he turned on the lights in his apartment, I could not believe it, but I was looking at probably 80 to 100 pieces of crystal. Several on the coffee table. More on each end table. A long table behind the couch held more. There were crystal wall sconces and a crystal chandelier. He had several large china cabinets, but not china. Just rows of crystal objects. On glass shelves and lighted from above and below. It was everywhere.

I looked at him and he said, "I know. But I just love Lalique."

You just never know.

Most guys on Grindr are high on Crystal Meth!

Most guys cruising for sex anywhere are likely to be high on something R504.

[quote]r489 Then, when I actually go and do something social, I can do something non-sex related, which means I can hang with hetero and homo friends.

Well, lah-dee-dah!

Not in the ‘burbs, R505. Most of the guys cruising are guys on lunch, skipping out of work, or telling the Mrs. they’re running to the Home Depot for something.

Bathhouses are great. All there for same reason-to get off. What yous see is what you get. With the right guys in a steam room, the whole body is stimulated and cumming can be the most intense experience ever.

Sorry but I've seen too many amateur videos of what goes on in bathhouses to ever want to visit one.

Love the Baths on Chicago!

R509 That's a bit like saying you've read too many stories about rape to want to try having sex.

R489 fascinating

R508, what do you mean specifically?

Really R511...How do consensual unsafe sex and sexual assault have anything in common in this case?

Bathhouse & sex in parks is much more fun than Grindr!

Grindr is out-,Bathhouses are back in style!

This morning at 2:30am Steamworks in Chicago had two separate lines of customers waiting outside to get in. Bathhouses aren't dead yet.

Not dead but still gross.

Loosen your corset stays, R518. Breathe.

Don't breathe too deeply R519 the popper fumes might kill you.

Really, R520? Really?

Where do you buy your poppers? You need a better supplier.

No. Some of the people online are slutty. ALL of the guys in the bathhouse are rotted, slutty etc.

SFsex

Can you get arrested in a bathhouse?

Yes, if you use drugs or murder someone. There aren't cops inside just walking around watching, though.

Hilarious, R522. Grindr, Scruff, etc. are known to be full of romantics looking for someone to share long walks at sunset!

The long line outside Steamworks Chicago Friday night/Saturday morning is an indicator that there will always be a place for bathhouses in big cities. The line on Friday night was attributable to Market Days, the Boystown Street festival that brings in lots of people from the burbs and out of town. I was at Steamworks earlier that evening and can say from prior experience that the place was far busier at that hour than it usually is at that time. The one guy I spoke to after hooking up was in town from Milwaukee specifically for Market Days.

Steamworks itself knows that demand goes up on Market Days weekend because they temporarily jack up their prices to take advantage of it. Same goes for the other two big gay weekend of the summer: Memorial Day/IML and Pride.

Even when there isn’t a line out the door at bar closing time on weekends, there’s often a lot more going on inside Steamworks Chicago than you’d expect. For example, they have two bear events every month that are very well attended. I’ve gone to SW on more than one occasion not knowing that one of these events was happening and was surprised to find the place swarming with people on a Saturday afternoon or Wednesday evening. Whether you’re into bears or not, the response to events like this is proof that there’s still demand for baths.

R526 must run Steamwork's Wikia page.

It depends on the city/state R524 but the short answer is yes. This was a while ago, but the Phoenix police would occasionally raid the Flex there and if you were having sex in "public" (anywhere besides the private rooms), they arrested people. To my knowledge, it hasn't happened in the last decade but it can/does happen.

Why bother?

I've never seen anything bad happen in a bathhouse. I've been to probably a dozen or so in the last 10 years. They're fun. Of course there are types there that you won't like, the occasional creep, etc. but overall really fun.

Have a drink before you go, and just roam around until you find what you like.

No desire to have other people watching me get off and would much rather choose that evening's hookup from an app while watching TV, have him come over, get off, and be done with it versus trucking all the way to a bath, making it an evening and seeing fat ugly people naked with erections.

You all are the same people who want guys to shower naked together, right?

Has anyone ever ran into someone they knew?

I never have, R532

Any good sources for real amateur bathhouse videos? I've searched the usual sources.

R532. Yup, when young I did and we’d just wink and call it “going swimming”.

Recently I went, I go like once a year and bumped into a faculty colleagues. We greeted each other and he went on his way. Lateral a faculty function he sidled up to me awkwardly and asked if it was okay that we bumped into each other at such a place. I told him, of course! No worries. I particularly didn’t care as I never go to that bathhouse

When I was a TA I would get a room at the EastSide Club on one of the busy afternoons and bring all of my student papers that needed grading. I would grade a few and then walk around and do some mutual jo, maybe cum, go back grade papers, get horny, get some jo action. Did it until all the papers were graded and I hardly got that much cum on any of them. It was the best way to do that tedious work -- grading papers NOT the cumming.

R536 I think I was one of your students.

I think that you were, tiger

The idea of a building full of strange men naked or in towels sizing each other up for an impersonal pump and dump just seems kinda sad.

Nah, seems kinda hot. And convenient. And fun.

I thought bathhouses were extinct. As I recall, they were instrumental in the spread of AIDS; their only purpose was anonymous sex with multiple partners. I never got the impression that it was ever "safe" to go to one.

To each their own R540.

A cult of sins

All these replies sound like maybe four-fove people actually familiar with bathhouses and all the rest seem to who never have sex and only know of it from the internet.

[quote]seem to who never have sex and only know of it from the internet.

Hah.

I have sex because guys approach me fully clothed in public spaces. I also don't feel the need to have to fuck unless it's convenient. I've never /had/ to do it. It's like cruising.

It sounds horrid. Just horrid!