Vaguebooking: Crypitc, passive-aggressive posting on Facebook. Discuss.

Uh. I have a friend like that. Single, heterosexual, in his 30s. More passive/aggressive hand-wringing than a teen girl. Surprisingly, he gets many people to like or comment on his woe-is-me posts. People who haven’t learned the pattern yet, I guess, or who are far nicer than I am. This guy, he’s a good guy. He’s just got too many expectations about life and people and he is disappointed so easily. And I say that as someone who suffers similarly, so I get it, but I don’t post about it because it’s self-indulgent, tiresome, pointless, and lame.

Look at this theory, that "the only people who will 'like' and 'comment'" on a cryptic post "are those who want to sleep with you."

Makes sense.

I know a woman that does this . She's a desperate loser. Seriously. She posts things like, Jennifer Smith is feeling despondent . Jennifer Smith is crushed. Jennifer Smith is feeling lonely. People post back asking her if she is okay. She either doesn't respond or she responds and doesn't say much

At least once a week she desperately trolls for complements. She will put, Jennifer Smith is feeling pretty. A lot of her old lady friends and desperate guy friends (who probably only want to get in her pants) respond back that j, "she always looks pretty"

She's truly pathetic. I stopped following her after she revealed she's a big trump supporter about a year ago

My friend is in her early 50s. She was widowed about 20 years ago and has been looking for The One ever since. No man will be able to replace her husband so her updates consist of being let down by men, men who show you who they really are, men who lie... Vague complaints about men. Then come the inevitable comments about how amazing she is and any man would be lucky to have her. My favorite status of hers was a nebulous complaint which was obviously about her grown daughter. Her daughter responded with, "Mom, I'm standing right next to you in the kitchen".

You're an AMAZING woman, Jennifer Smith!

This is one of the reasons I don't do FB, personally. I think I could resist doing it, but I admit it would be tempting to post something straight-up to them one day. Drama would ensue. And, of course, I'd be the arse for doing it. (I already know how this works.)

Frankly, it's the enablers that irritate the most.

Eh, Fakebook is just a tracking device and information harvester anyway.

But you're AMAZING, r6!

Yes r7, we know. Big Fakebook is watching. But you know what else? You're an AMAZING woman!

Something like this, posted with no comment, is just begging for likes and comments.

Is your friend Tommy Wiseau?

^ Why? Is Tommy Wiseau a divorced car salesman now?

OP, that reads like a routine post on here. Are you sure he's straight?

Yes, he's a straight bro. His gf recently moved out and he was already hooked up with some new woman.

Reminds me of this Family Guy scene

Unfriend NOW. Get out while you still can. He's sucking the life out of you and others in small increments. One day you'll realize it's serious. Do what I say. I'm a stranger. I have no agenda except my experience. DO. IT. NOW!!

Are you saying this is an "emotional vampire" type of situation, R17?

Unless you're getting some drunk sex out of him, I don't see why you still bother with him.

Can you block those posts, OP?

If you can, it seems worth it to do so. People say 'it's just the internet', and yes, it is, but it can still affect one.

Facebook did a great job of making me hate all of my friends. I'm embarrassed for the vast majority of them.

<3 R5 lol

Facebook friends are so 2010.

My mother & sister both proclaim to HATE Facebook, yet both are constantly on it.

New Year's resolution: DELETE FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. PERMANENTLY!

When will people realize that no one really gives a shit about what you post on Facebook or Instagram. We read it, like it, and move on to the next person.

If you suddenly died tomorrow, you think any of your "friends" will actually show up to you funeral?

R27, why do you "like" something if you don't actually like it? Really curious...

^ Lol! If that story is true, even the pope does this childish stuff online.

That said, not everyone does this. What's different about vaguebookers from the rest of us?

He will rot in hell for doing that.

I’m only use Facebook to masturbate to acquaintances when they post shirtless pictures in various contexts.

Linked here is a meme recently posted by said friend in my OP. This one happens to be grammatically correct at least, in spite of its melodrama.

This guy is an acquaintance and we haven't seen eachother or exchanged any communication beyond FB "likes" for years. He has like 300 "friends," many of whom I assume, like me, aren't regularly in touh with him. Whoever he's mad at can't possibly concern most of his "friends" on FB. What is going on in a mind like his, to think it's socially acceptable to cast these vague proclamations about how he's not gonna be anybody's fool anymore, out to hundreds of mere acquaintances? And what's funny is, he gets bites! People have "liked" and commented in this crap. I'd like to think the ones "supporting" him in his drama are closer to him and actually know what he's talking about, but maybe he also caught a few fish among his acquaintances too.

I'm not going to unfriend him yet. Like I said in my OP, I just can't look away.

If one kept one's FB circle to only people one knew well, there wouldn't be any vaguebooking, just straight out "I believe X is damaging our relationship by doing Y". Only if one were a narcissist, or a crazy frau with somehow enough sanity not to post a truth like "I have to cut Belinda out of my life because she lost weight easily without exercise and I'm sweatin' like a sow doing squats and still can't fit into a size 12. I didn't like it when she posted the tape measure wrapping 30 inches around her waist and seven doctors' books when I told her weight loss without exercise was impossible or unsafe." As an oldster, I have to say this stuff went on in LiveJournal, and probably predecessors of FB (Orkut, Friendster, etc).

[quote]Merry Christmas to everyone who stood by me this year. I'm so proud your all in my life. All the users and cheaters will get there Karma.

My favorite are things like 🙏 please for reasons I won’t specify!

This.

You're an AMAZING man, Todd. I've always known it! Luv ya, hun! xoxo

"beggers, lairs, ungratefuls..."

Instructional passive aggression, so inspiring...

Another reason to have nothing to do with Facebook.

They all hate their lives but do nothing to change them. Not even their thoughts, or learning about something new.

My uncle's second wife often posts VERY POINTED vaguebook statuses about his (admittedly worthless) kids from his first marriage...

"It would be nice if people realized that other people may be living on a small pension and Social Security, and are not actually bottomless ATMs ..." Etc.

I HATE DRAMA!!!

"They're so dramatic! They just make me want to...set myself on fire!"

Like.

I don't need a thousand other people's opinions or feelings every day, which is one of the many reasons I do not participate in social media. Why do that to yourself? It's a cacophany of mediocrity.

Some of those people probably have a good idea what he’s on about. In any case, yeah I got caught up in something like that. At first I was horrified, but slowly became acclimated as I rubbernecked. Run OP! While you still can....

R17 is right.

I'm not on FB anymore, but when I was this kind of thing was so annoying.

"If one kept one's FB circle to only people one knew well, there wouldn't be any vaguebooking, just straight out "I believe X is damaging our relationship by doing Y"

^^ I don't believe that to be true. It's called "passive aggressive", and people you know can and will be passive aggressive.

I wish we could revert back to a time when we didn't have facebook. People were healthier in their interactions with others. Now if there is a problem, you read about it in some cryptic message, witness unfriending, blocking and ghosting and attention seeking status updates.

It's like - grow up already.

My favorite are the fraud who get on demanding likes from their thousand followers or the are going to quit! Because they work so hard for us all and they are insufficiently appreciated! They get a flurry of likes and they stay

*fraus

Arrrgh! what next?

Can I get a like?

Quit being so fucking thirsty, Todd! And now will come the onslaught of "a lot of you on my friends list have never liked or commented on anything I have shared, for the new year I am culling my friends list, leave a one word comment on how we met or I will delete you" Have I ever commented on any of these fucking things? Nein! And yet, here I still am.

[posts a pic of his kids from several years ago, when they were still little]:

I did something right.

[quote] I wish we could revert back to a time when we didn't have facebook. People were healthier in their interactions with others. Now if there is a problem, you read about it in some cryptic message, witness unfriending, blocking and ghosting and attention seeking status updates.

It breaks my heart to see how lazy and ugly my friends and family's interactions are online. It seems to me they prefer their connections to be ugly and lazy online than to be strong and authentic offline, like it's an improvement to them. It isn't for me. I've told them FB is not for them to use, but for them to be used by FB and the entities who pay FB to use them. I've offered alternatives, which only a few take.

What makes them behave this way: electronic/social media addiction, or people deciding civility and honesty are too much work for their relationships?

I used to love online interactions when they were mostly text. I got very deeply into issues with people I had never met. Of course, this was when the internet users were more educated.

I'm not sure exactly what made it the horror show it is now, but

1. Too much emphasis on visual images 2. Total inclusion so now it is either a dating/hookup service or the equivalent of the horrifying desktop published Christmas updates people used to send 3. The Like system.

I think the Like system did the most damage.

New Year's Resolution: Getting off Instagram. Only got on a year and a half ago. Do like seeing some creatives stuff online, but interactions are shit and do not bring out the best in people. Still, it's better than fucking FB which never hooked me. Thank god. No need to quit. Twitter is dead.

All my kidlet relatives just vlog to each other and stay off IG for the most part.

Mastodon is a free, open source, decentralized microblogging network: its interactions are mostly text. The Mastodon users in my experience are more educated, and more marginalized. Mastodon instances for artists exist. Plus, one can use the #nobot hashtag in one's Mastodon profile to kick out bots.

Mastodon comes with effective anti-abuse tools to help protect yourself from online abuse. With small, interconnected communities, it means that there are more moderators you can approach to help with a situation. This also means you can choose who sees your posts: friends, your community, or the entire fediverse.

Shana Stein? Is that you!?

-R37- 'LAIRS'? Really!?

I can't decide if I hate the vague booking more or the constant changing of the profile pic so people can comment on how "beautiful" they are

I have a few of those. They’re all damaged and needy people.

The people who respond positively are saps who feel good about themselves for “being a supportive friend”. It’s a clusterfuck of codependency. Yay.

I have a fake profile and my family thinks it's due to my eccentricity, but I really don't want to re-connnect with anyone from the past. If they are in the past there is a reason for it.

With my family I check in and Like in a random fashion so nobody knows if I am paying attention or not. This is to save hurt feelings. I have been on the internet for over 20 years and honestly Facebook has done more to destroy my real affection for my family members than anything else. Whoever said it was like a Christmas newsletter is spot on: the boasting you can't ever address cleanly, the narcissism, the passive-aggressive throwaway lines referencing things you have not been told about, etc.

[quote] About the only thing i want to change in the next year is tonget away from all the needy, lazy stupid ass people that drain my soul.

he wants you to come over to his house unannounced and ram a large black dildo up his eager hole

I hate Todd.

This needs to be more about me.

I would go farther than R17 and say just delete your account...but don’t announce it because that’s also pretentious. I finally did it after deactivating and reactivating my account. Trust me, it’s better for your mental health.

At this point, your only solution is to create an entirely new identity. I recommend you change your gender. And possibly race. Transition into a fiery Latina woman? You'll save money. No need to buy weaves. Just cheap wigs until your own hair grows out. And join a gang. Cholas are quite violent, especially to each other. But you will find sisterhood. A sense of purpose even. You sound so lost now. Change everything and don't look back. The old you is gone now. Perhaps it never existed?

I'm a big ol' black woman on Facebook. Seriously.

I have a fake account with the dog's name and photos, maybe 10 friends tops, and I still get occasional posts like this. Glad to know there's a name for it.

What are Todd's new year's resolutions?

I tried to change accounts but then I have to give up the people I like and many goof memories (so they can’t find me again). That’s work. I can block some people but then it’s drama that will filter through to others.

I just opened a new fake account. It’s the most boring corporate looking account imaginable. It makes me laugh. I’ve already changed sex and race before - and ended up with a pack of latinas calientes as friends. Soft racism is out there.

How do you get friends on Facebook with a fake account if people don't know who you are?

They are people I actually know in real life, and I told them in person that the dog making a friend request was me. They all know me well enough that I didn't even have to explain why I wanted to remain relatively anonymous.

Oh this just in on a vaguebook post:

"It's better to bruise the heart with a truth than to break one with a lie"

with a crying emoji and the words "so true!"

[quote] What are Todd's new year's resolutions?

Direct quote from Todd today: My resolution. ..dont be average, be savage. (sic)

Todd has also been posting images of skulls and products featuring skulls (including what I linked here). Todd's profile imagery in general is heavy on themes of darkness, barbarians, vengence, warriors, roaring lions, etc., and lots of skull products I believe he hopes people will buy for him (skull mug, skull rug, black leather jacket with a big skull face on the back, etc.). In between all that firey He Man shit he posts pics of his daughters, especially from several years ago before they were preteens, with comments like "my little ones," which provides a bizarre contrast.

I love this shit in a mean spirited way.

I'm sure that your Facebook friend is telling you the truth, OP.

Honestly.....

I know a few single het guys in their early 30s who post about the most ridiculous shit. One of them posts memes about his emotional problems constantly and always talks about his "emotionally abusive" ex girlfriends. He also seems to take frequent "mental health days" meaning he's feeling sad and is too much of a weak ass bitch to suck it up and get on with things. The other one who I believe is 33 or 34 posts about how his parents don't understand him and he wishes he was dead. Also when the whole me too thing happened he was complaining about how men have been harassed and molested too and women were turning it into an exclusionary thing based on gender. According to him these women were just as bad as abusers. He made a few rambling posts about how everyone is a scumbag who only cares about themselves and deactivated his account for a few weeks.

More from Todd today: this morning I saw thar he'd anger-posted some vague complaint about how he's DONE and not taking it anymore, and several people commented asking what's wrong. Now the post has disappeared and he's "in a relationship" and people are asking with who and he replies with "my angel."

It's so bizarre that in spite of all the dark, thundering hypermasculinity he displays as his FB persona, he's an attention-seeking drama queen in reality. I cringe but can't look away. People betray themselves on FB over and over for all to see.

.......

I love it r80! Todd is that fucker we all love to watch for his dumb drama, keep it coming, I hope 2018 is Todd's year!

I love the trashy freaks who post the truly disturbing relationship memes

I'm here for you Todd <3

I'm here for Todd as well. Thanks for the laughs, OP, and please keep it coming.

r83 Ouch, don't cut yourself on that edge!

Jennifer Smith is feeling distressed

So true

New year, New friends List! I have already started the cuts

R88: Oscar Wilde died in 1900. Very few ‘fancy cars’ in his day. Needs quote check.

I have a family member whom I usually keep muted on FB because she's been guilty of this. It got too fucking annoying. Couldn't figure out why her life sucks, but will take no advice on how to improve it. Perfectly contented to let you know she's spending the day in bed, alone. She works in elder care, and posts about the death of every patient as if they had a very deep bond and she is crushed.

Recently got engaged and I find that I can't be happy for her--I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and the return to Woe.Is.Me!

Who the fuck is Todd?

R90: Yes, that’s the joke.

[quote]Who the fuck is Todd?

The gentleman referred to in the original post. It's not his real name though.

I know a woman like this. Changes her profile pic every other day. Over the Xmas holidays, she posted about a woman she supposedly knew in the late 60's who was on one of the hijacked airlines sometime back then. Claimed the woman was her best friend. The story she posted from the newspaper says the woman was from Canada and had spent the summer before she became a flight attendant in SF. She was only in SF for a month before she was to begin her job as a flight attendant. My friend didn't even live in SF at the time and I have known her in real life since 2000. She has never mentioned the woman to me, much less as her best friend. She also posts vague complaints for attentiion. She has been diagnosed with clinical narcissism and has been on disability for it since 1990. She lies too much to hold a job.

^ You can get disability for "clinical narcissim?"

Yes, [R96] you can after appeals and having a diagnosis. She could not hold a job.

Johnny Depp isn't just full of booze. He's full of wisdom too.

Yes r83! Usually posted by a woman whose bf cheats and/or beats her, in a pathetic attempt to present herself as being an equal match for him, that she's got him on edge all the time. Psh!

Cuz me and my man have such a unique special cray cray romance that nobody else could ever understand! CRAZY LOVE.

Another great one a woman who's been cheated on usually posts

Todd's profile pic.

He should've whispered to the devil, "you're."

Good one r100. Along those lines, there's a woman on Instagram posting selfies every other day and many times she writes something about how nobody knows what's going on behind the smile, how she suffers silently, etc. Then she'll post a meme about men who cheat. Psh! Not so mysterious after all.

Nobody can ever know the true depth of unique pain, feeling and being that is Jennifer Smith.

We all know NOW, Jennifer!

Todd is on a rampage today!

Changed his profile pic to a selfie in the car wearing sunglasses, unsmiling of course.

He appears to be playing Facebooks "answer questions" game. Here's what he's posted over the last several hours, verbatim:

[quote] The first thing I notice about other people is... They dont give a shit bout anything but themselves. ..and to elaborate. ..they arent worth, deserve, or worked for the ridiculous demands of respect and cash they think their sorry unproven ass deserves. To be real.....thats all so fucking true.

[quote]Social media has helped me...

Realize how shallow and fucked up these dumb ass youngsters are ..real talk

[quote]The last selfie I took was… Fuck selfies im a man

I guess he forgot his profile pic is a selfie.

[quote] I discovered that I’m really good at… Making shitty selfish people feel better about themselves, ...word

[quote] If I could visit another planet, I'd choose... Anywhere with out humans

Where would all these selfish, shitty people BE without Todd???

But the good news for Todd today, is that some woman bought him a big tacky, vulgar, skull face watch. He's "very thankful" to her.

Todd sounds semi retarded. I know some ugly old guy who friends random Filipino women who openly ask him for cash on his newsfeed. Very amusing!

I can’t stop coming back to this thread. I’ve blocked all of my annoying relatives on Facebook so I can’t contribute, but please keep the inspirational posts coming!

^ Well unblock them. You're missing out!

[quote]Yes, [[R96]] you can after appeals and having a diagnosis.

Is this in Canada?

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!

[quote]Now I'm watching the ones who will have the time to read this post until the end. This is a little test, just to see who reads, and who shares without reading. If you have read everything so far, select "like" so I can put a thank you in your profile.

Your true friendship is being tested! It's not enough that you "like" my post, you damn well better read all five paragraphs and follow my instructions exactly. Otherwise, you are just another hater!

^ My 60-year-old uncle recently posted one of those. I think he believes it's a commentary on people "not reading enough "anymore and being "too focused on pictures." It's funny because he, himself, is not much of a reader from what I know, and obviously can't identify writing that's actually worth sharing vs. a chain letter written by a junior high school girl.

This really trashy obnoxious bitch I know has had this as her Facebook cover for years. It cracks me up.

^ Psssshhh! Nobody's trying to scale your wall, hun.

It seems many of Todd's "likes" and comments are coming from his underlings at the car dealership where he works.

.......

Wow -- my vaguebooking aunt just posted a classic, aimed at her stepchildren who ignore their father...

[quote]Maybe your parents are getting older. Maybe all they want out of life is a single phone call to let them know you're OK and inquiring about their health (not just asking for money). Maybe they seem fine on the outside, but they're in great pain on the inside. Maybe they don't have much time left on this earth and they don't want much, just to know that you love them.

It was followed an hour later by a post saying "Unfriending some people today. Today it's Facebook, tomorrow it may be real life."

^ Haha! And in the process this goes out to all her casual acquaintances, who will no doubt understand completely why these stepkids are keeping away from her. But SHE will never fathom it.

The proliferation of old people on FB completely ruined it. Done with it!

[Quote]I have a fake profile and my family thinks it's due to my eccentricity, but I really don't want to re-connnect with anyone from the past. If they are in the past there is a reason for it.[/quote]

This is exactly why I'm not on it, but these hilarious posts make me think I'm missing out on some family drama I can use in a story....

I like the ugly girls who post the selfies with massive filtering and shitty song lyrics.

Todd was up at 4 a.m. bemoaning that nobody knows his whole life story:

[quote] Thinking bout the fact that I don't have a single person in my life that has known me for more then a few years, everyone I grew up in california with was 19 years of my life that basically no one ever cared enough to ask about and the last 20 years of my life have been filled with every random social circle I happen to find myself in which I didn't really belong....guess I just feel like no body really has a clue about my life...how I got here or where I have been and the older I get the more I realize no one cares or believes the story's about my life because the people that where there my friends...the people I grew up with...don't exist to anyone I have met after I left California....and vice versa...sorry for the rant but honestly feeling like there isn't a person on earth that knows me and been thru all of it.....gets to a point when you just stop talking about all of it....I think I just hit it,...time to just smile and nod.......No one even asks anymore...feeling old.

Reminder, this guy is in his early 40s.

Funny, I find it comforting to know there are chapters of my life that are known only to me unless I care to share them. It doesn't make them any less real or valuable. Poor Todd is advertising his weak sense of self for all to see.

. . .

Todd is "feeling happy" today. I'm guessing because he got a lot of likes and comments on his Nobody-Knows-Enough-About-My-Life rant.

I known a guy in his 40s who posts constantly I mean constantly. Sometimes if you go look a him timeline he'll have like 6 posts with the same timeline. All o them are half naked women from fantasy drawings, shitty music videos and lame quotes, He also changes his profile picture once sometimes twice a day. He lives at home so i'm not sure if he really works

losers!

R126 - And you're obsessed with him because?

For all the women who rock the Schlitze look

the opposite of vague: 2012 was a biggg year for me. I left my amazing job at NBC to move back to Chicago. I started dating my angel, Jaime Holland. I started yoga (thanks Jake Fisher & Jonah Perlstein!). I wrote an album with Matthew Johannson. Wrote another album I’m proud of. I got to hang with Owen Wilson, and worked with Will Ferrell on an amazing project. Had a conversation about Barack Obama with David Gregory. Danced. Joined a kickball team. Won a couple awards. Helped my sister plan her summer trip. Swam a lot. Golfed a little. Cried more than you would think. Read The World According to Garp. Saw Apocolypse Now. Went to Miami for the NBA Finals. Drank the best orange juice I’ve ever had with Davey Welch. Tweeted. Went to amazing weddings in Upstate New York. Drank a ridiculous amount of milk. Learned how to make sand art. Saw a great light show. Saw the Angels and Lakers. Fell in love with Jawbone Up. Cooked with Jaime. Gardened with Jaime. Watched Homeland with Jaime. Wrestled with Jaime. Laughed for hours with Jaime. Fell in love with Jaime’s family. Worked on a play. Played World of Warcraft. Did some improv. Played a ton of the guitar. Really just had a wild, amazing year. What a world.

[quote] And you're obsessed with him because?

yes we KNOW you can block/ignore these people. the point of this thread is to laugh about it.

most mediocre people are inherently nosy, facebook is filled with mediocre people, image crafting, virtue signalling and nosying around other peoples pages. vague statuses are basically clickbait, they are trying to elicit a response from people brought on by nosiness. even "gonna clean up my friends list today" is basically pay attention to me now or i might have to unfriend you. mediocre people are desperate to look like they have a lot of friends so will probably respond with a "you ok?" just so they don't get unfriended. pathetic games stupid mediocre people play.

...........

wow r130, you are #blessed.

Gross I actually saw this on someone's wall.

I just blocked a relative on facebook for literally posting about every moment of their day, right down to pictures of the food he was eating. If he or his wife went out, I would receive status updates. Life is too short for this shit.

......

[quote]these hilarious posts make me think I'm missing out on some family drama I can use in a story....

Two words: proxy account. Set up one under an alias and let the fun begin! I use mine to join groups that my lame relatives would find objectionable and endlessly comment on.

Btw, you don't have to go to the extreme of blocking people, most of whom eventually figure out that you have done so. Merely "unfollow" them, keeping their inanity out of your feed but allowing them to see your posts and think that you see theirs. This works well for aunties and orher delicate flowers whose feelings would be crushed by someone blocking them, and that you don't want to alienate.

Like it or not, R9, it's still true.

I asked a 30 something if there was something wrong with me because I am not on The Facebook Instagram Twitter Snapchat or any hookup sites. Her mouth dropped in shock and said yes. She said I should at least be on instagram. When I told her I didn't need people to know where I am, she looked perplexed. I find it all very high school and bragadosious. To the DL psychologist out there why are some people social mediaphobic?

I just have Facebook and think there's something wrong with people who are on every social media platform. I like to keep in touch with my family who are all over the world and friends who live in other cities. Why do people need to constantly see pictures of my boring daily life?

My niece's daughter has "unfollowed" me. Don't know why, I post an artwork every 4 months or so and that's it. Maybe my strategy of only randomly liking posts drives people away.

However I have years of tweets which no one in my family has discovered and I feel good about that.

Unspoken prayer request. Please don't ask for details.

^turns out her fat dog had to be put down. She overfed this thing until it was morbidly obese and then was surprised it had congestive heart failure at "only" age 12.

It's so kind of them to clarify it.

"Unfollowing" is nowhere near as satisfying as hitting UNFRIEND.

R93: Oh, I see now.

Don't judge me! Only God can judge me!

That lady looks really mad, R148!

Is that lady in r148 Charity, the mother of the murderous kid Paris?

I used to be friends with a hetero couple on FB. As in - he was a friend of mine and she, well, was his gf and would add me one day and I was dumb enough to accept. Those two had some incredibly annoying on-off-thing going and whenever things were bad they would post about each other on their Facebook feeds. Like, they'd make passive-aggressive postings that were clearly directed at each other, calling each other sluts/assholes/etc in third person. 2 weeks later they'd make up and post "love you forever" pics. They were in their late 20s. It was exhausting as Hell.

I wish I were friends with Todd he sounds like the gift that keeps on giving

I know these people who do that facebook live thing everywhere they go. Like driving across the city or a walk. They also check in everywhere. It's truly bizarre.

R146, unfollowing is for sensitive aunties who post 27 inspirational quotes with duckies and teddy bears. For more irritating offenders, unfriending is indeed more satisfying, although you won't get to enjoy the effects unless you have a mutual friend who spies for you.

Todd needs to go off himself

Unfriend entire groups of people. However, you must make an announcement prior to doing so letting everyone know you’re going to do it!

And you must FLOUNCE!

Todd has been humbled by the outpouring of support!

[quote] You know what, I really got it wrong lately, been to busy feeling sorry for my self and acting selfish i totally did the exact thing i was complaining about and neglected to realize and acknowledge the straight up kick ass people i have had the oppertunity to get to know and be thankful for everything and everyone. I feel like so many people reached out to me selflessly just to pick me up and honestly i feel like i learned something important about how you treat the people you meet in life and why it matters. First significant thing i ever got out of facebook lmao!

I used to be friends with a het couple who were both on fb. Once when they were visiting, the rude wife pulled out her phone whilst we were sitting around the table having a drink and started an argument with her husband because she saw that he had liked other people's posts but not hers. It was a vulgar display.

Todd needs a comprehensive writing course, with emphasis on spelling and punctuation. He types ignorant and, of course, self-obsessed.

^ In that case, Todd could be president one day.

A 73-year-old mom I know on FB is obviously expecting her distant adult kids to share this sentimental video meme...

^ Sorry the video won't load unless you sign in to FB, but it says something along the lines of wishing to talk to a dead Mom and to "share if you miss your mom," hint, hint.

r163 Her kids should say, "damn it, mine is still living, but I look forward to a day when we can talk through a psychic".

Todd's mysterious message of the day:

[quote] Waking the lions

Todd wants you to know that he is tapping into the inner wellspring of strength he has, for he will need it in these trying times where he doesn't know who his true friends are, etc. Don't be surprised if Todd unfriends you, it's a new year after all and Todd needs to lose the dead weight on his friends list. Just know that he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger.

Sounds like maybe Todd has found his words on this website!

FML!!!

[quote] Todd needs a comprehensive writing course, with emphasis on spelling and punctuation. He types ignorant and, of course, self-obsessed.

Yes, he is and does all of these things, but he types thin

[quote] I know these people who do that facebook live thing everywhere they go. Like driving across the city or a walk. They also check in everywhere. It's truly bizarre.

Jennifer Smith checks in everywhere. She's hoping someone will see it and be near there and come and visit with her. It's sad. Some of the sad places she has checked into" are Burger King and Piedmont Hospital - Women's Center (her gynecologist). The hospital one elicited a bunch of replies asking if she was in the hospital. She replied that she was just getting a check up.

She was actually just getting a pap smear, but Miss Jennifer felt the need to share. Jennifer is the proud grandmother to two pit bull grand dogs that her rabid trump loving daughter owns

"Folks life is to be cherished! Enjoy every day that you can! I said bye to someone Friday not knowing I’d never get to say bye again as he passed over the weekend! Life is short-tell people you love that you do! You never know what life will throw at you! Peace!"

I'd like the invite Todd to explore the inside of a wood chipper, then post about his experience.

Here's a meme Todd posted a few days ago. Did I mention he lives with his dad and they share rent, and his dad watches his kids when they visit while Todd is at work? Or that as soon as Todd's old gf moved out another one moved right in?

Here's an Incredible Hulk image Todd posted without comment the other day, lest anyone forget that Todd is NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH.

Most people on Facebook post similar.

Todd two days ago:

[quote] I have yet to encounter any really good thing in my personal life that I cannot over complicate and ruin with Rash and Self-Destructive behavior. I have got to be the biggest idiot on earth. Uuuuggghhh.

Todd last night:

[quote] Trust your instincts Always

Ugh...

Did Todd just have a Brush With the Law?

^ None that I know of recently, although I believe he has a DUI or two under his belt.

PLEASE, more Todd posts

[quote] Did Todd just have a Brush With the Law?

There's no law against stupidity. But stupidity is contagious. Todd probably caught it from Jennifer

Todd is the new Nick Carter's muse.

[quote] PLEASE, more Todd posts.

In between the self-centered, aggro vaguebooking, Todd usually reposts "(blank) years-ago-today" images and videos of his two daughters, especially if they're reading a poem they wrote to him or drew a picture of him or some declaration of how great he is, or if he can brag about something he bought for them. He rarely posts current photos and I'm scratching my head why not. I believe the oldest one is like 14 and the other is almost 12. Anybody want to guess/analyze why Todd keeps reposting photos of them from 2-6 years ago?

Maybe Todd is upset because his kids will never know his whole story and they're so self absorbed they never even think to ask.

I think Todd, shadowy as ever, is kind of trying to tell his kids that he no longer loves them. They are dead to him. Still, he cherishes the memories.

I hate Todd.

I wish I knew how to quit Todd!

Is Todd hung?

I used to have a FB account with a fake name that I used to check in on certain people.

One of them was my mean girl from high school, let's call her "Nicole", she would constantly post rants about an anonymous person who I believe was her mother. She would say overly dramatic things like "I cry myself to sleep every night because of you! You don't love me!" She is in her late 20s, btw.

Then her friends would leave comments, asking what was wrong and who she was talking about, and her response was, "It's private and I don't want to talk about it. I want to remain classy."

Bitch, if you wanted it to remain private then why did you plaster it all over facebook in the first place? Her profile was public and she had 1,000s of "friends".

The only reason I think she was writing about her mother was because her mother was mysteriously nowhere to be found in Nicole's wedding photos, and I took a look at her moms profile and she looked like a drug addict. I would feel sorry for Nicole if she wasn't such an attention-seeking idiot.

Oh, and then there was that time Nicole wrote a lengthy post about the vaginal discharge she found in her panties. But that's the opposite of vague-booking, that's more like TMI-booking.

Anyone who uses the word "classy" isn't.

LOL @ R191

I haven't looked up Nicole's profile in months, so who the hell knows what she's up to now.

Last time I checked out her profile, she was bragging about a two-story house that she and her husband "bought" but I later discovered that they actually rent the house from someone else and share it with several roommates.

She also posted several photos of her car, a VW bug that she named Angelina or some shit like that, she's even posted pics of herself holding wads of cash.

Both she and her husband dropped out of college, so I don't know who they think they are fooling.

Most of my friends, luckily, miss me with that shit.

I have one friend overseas who is mostly good but every once in a while she does some passive aggressive thing with someone she feuds with. It's always exactly what OP describes.

They just want attention, and they also want uncritical praise and a champion on their side.

As in: Pat them on the head and give them a cookie uncritically, because if you heard the whole story, you'd know they had themselves to blame for some or all of whatever drama was happening.

I agree R194

I'm addicted to the todd posts

Todd posted this yesterday with no comment, no mention of anyone's birthday. He just likes those Johnny Depp pirate memes. He posts them from time to time as part of his general imagery of medieval gangsterism.

Todd clearly knows how to get ahold of some dank memes! good for him.Watch for any Jared Leto as the joker ones talking about how he's kind unless you fuck with him, super edgy!

I love the skanky druggies who post pics of their kids who have been taken away as "my reason for living" and the "light of my life". Um, clearly not if they have been removed from your care by the authorities because you are a drug addict.

Tomorrow is going to be a VERY long day but I'm wide awake! #LupusSucks

Todd a few hours ago:

[quote] That was awful

No idea what he's talking about, of course. And people are asking in the comments already.

For the Todd Addicts, here are some gems from his feed over the last few months.

Think about THAT:

[quote] Humans have 44 facial muscles that work together to display over 100 distinct emotions....think about that the next time you read a text message. Not the same is it.

[quote] When you close your eyes, do you like what you see..inside your mind. Food for thought.

Todd's ahead of you:

[quote] Funny thing about a surprise attack is......you actually thought I was surprised,

[quote] Sometimes we get lucky enough to have someone in our lives that shine so bright, they illuminate the serpents lurking in the shadows who have been feeding on you. I see you

Todd as inspirational leader (posted with image of a roaring lion):

[quote] Dont get upset when people get angry with the way things are going, if your a leader, be thankful you have people with you that care enough to to help you chqnge things. Heres to you. If your going to lead lions....respect thier roar!

Todd's a special kind of cray cray but he's WORTH it:

[quote] "Loving me aint easy, loveing me is hard but it takes a crazy woman to love a reckless man like me" -Papa Roach

Todd's disconnect:

[quote] Communication between people was never ment to be carried out through memes in public,

[quote] Its amazing to me how oblivious some people can be.

Todd, dominator of women.

Todd supports the activists.

Someone I know is always posting things like, “Don't you hate it when you let someone borrow a book and they return it 9 months later with coffee mug stains on the cover and bent down corners on certain pages? If you damaged someone’s book like that, wouldn’t you go out and replace it before having the nerve to return it?”

He gets to call people out publically without revealing who they actually are and of course he presents every situation as a hypothetical. I don’t know how he has a single friend left.

Todd, cursed with being too good for this world:

[quote] Not because im a fool, because I can take it so you can feel better about your selves. Curse of the Empath

Please add a few hundred more responses so this stupid thread can be closed.

R207 Sweetie, no one is forcing you to read this thread. You must be Todd.

Todd doesn't want to go back to the 1950s. He wants to go back to the 450s.

[quote] So true.

Only 390 to go.

r207 [quote] Please add a few hundred more responses so this stupid thread can be closed.

Uh-oh. We must have an offended vaguebooker in our midst.

#Don'tJudgeMe!

After accumulating a satisfactory amount of concern in comments, Todd has revealed what he meant yesterday by posting "that was awful":

[quote] actually I have a sinus infection and i blew my nose lmao

I think I'm beginning to understand. Maybe he sends out these little tests to see if anybody gives a shit about him. It's actually kind of sad.

Dude r212, don't feel bad, he quoted Papa fucking Roach! I am flabbergasted by that, I thought people who quoted Linkin Park were bad...dumbfounded.

Don't be so emotionally invested in a thread on an online forum. This isn't reality, children.

Always nice to be unfriended by so-called friends because you share your pain!

More todd posts please

I've weeded so many shity people out and it's lonely at times but I'd rather be by myself then all those fake ass people

I weed out shity spellers.

I can't help myself, R218. I grew up in the sticks so have lots of Facebook friends who have terrible spelling & grammar. Sometimes I will screenshot posts and send them to friends because they're so bad. Most recent one that made the rounds was someone talking about the "Supper Bowel."

I'm FB friends with a doughy, balding 40 year old straight man who embarks on relationships with women who are clearly out of his league and in a few weeks when they dump his ass he posts these vague status updates about his heartbreak and the value of "inner beauty". The funny thing is the guy is a major asshole who is hyper critical of women's looks.

White trash love...

Yep, edgy Jared Leto memes, that's how you know you're dealing with a real badass! And I hate Leto so much and want to cry that he's now tarnished my beloved Bladerunner.

I'm taking a break from Facebook and can't say that I miss it that much.

I can't stand all those posts by people showing off and their smarmy Julia Roberts-style "I love my life" posts.

I also can't stand those "interactive" posts where a FB friend asks you to post one word about them to see if you really are their friend, with that not-so-subtle threat they will unfriend you if you don't participate.

I agree those vaguebook posts are the worst. I have a few friends who do it. One friend who is fighting with the father of her child and her constant "He's an asshole", "He's STILL an asshole" posts or "He's your SON!". Take it to the courts, you lazy bitch.

Or those vaguebook posts where someone posts something about an exciting development and someone asks what is happening and you get a smile in response.

I heart Todd.

I have my own favorite Vaguebooker - a high school classmate who has been divorced three times, has six small dogs, works at Long John Silver’s and is constantly asking for rides to take her teenage son to court.

She is a delight!

He sounds awesome r220. Feel free to repost any of his posts.

For you r225 "That awkward moment when you give your heart to someone, and they ask "why?"."

I'm with R223. Been away from FB for about a month. Don't miss it a bit.

Got rid of FB about 3 years ago and don't miss it. I tried to create a new account a couple months ago but couldn't stand it for more than a few days and got rid of it again.

The constant bragging is what really annoys me. Several people I know on FB try to convince everyone that they are wealthy when in fact I know they are thousands of $$$ in credit card debt.

Others try to pretend they have the perfect relationship when I know they are actually miserable.

The funny thing is, the people I know who live happy and fulfilling lives either rarely post on FB or don't have an account.

Constantly posting on FB is the number one sign that someone is a loser.

The couples who always post lovey-dovey things to each other publicly are the first ones to announce "we have decided to end our romantic relationship."

[quote]Anybody want to guess/analyze why Todd keeps reposting photos of them from 2-6 years ago?

Because they have nothing to do with him now?

A recent favorite:

One Thing I will never understand I have dropped everything for some people given my last dollar but when u are down and out guess what not one person is there for you just remember don't come to me for anything

Perez HIlton doing vaguebooking for attention.

R229 - You nailed that one. They love big, then break up big. And drag their family and friends into all the drama. Yuck!

I have a cousin who is constantly unfriending the whole family, and then re-friending. She’ll either unfriend me or delete her whole account - I don’t know which - but I’ll suddenly I get a new friend request again. She’s back! Though I never noticed she was gone.

Another cousin, also female, posts daily memes about how she may not be perfect, but she’s a strong independent woman and everything she’s been through has only made her stronger, and if we don’t accept her as she is, she’s better off without us. Like anyone gives a shit.

Then there’s my aunt, who is obsessed

... with pretty white girls who have been reported missing.

I have friends like that too and it's pretty annoying.

But my biggest Facebook beef is the people who go all in on their big, public, reality TV-inspired romances. Suddenly their feed is all, "S/He's so cute and perfect and we're so in love and here we are doing cute and perfect things together and blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda..." It runs its course until the inevitable breakup. The break up is either chronicled in equally excruciating detail—or alternatively—they act like the great love of their life just never happened. "Bob who?" Regardless, it soon starts all over again with the next Miss or Mr. Right.

r234 If you can't handle her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best! (with a photo of Harley Quinn inexplicably accompanying the words)

One trend I lament is how social media encourages everyone to opine on everything, always, and to argue every point to death. Back in the Olden Days, someone would say something stupid, and we'd roll our eyes, say "What an asshole" and move on.

But now, social media allows these stories to live for days and weeks. And we all have to swear our allegiance to the right" opinion. Which team do you choose? 1. "Aziz is a monster!" 2. "Aziz is a victim!"

You too are a bad person if you pick the wrong team. And you're not allowed to be neutral, because then you're an enabler! Logging off saves my sanity at times.

If I had to guess why Todd only posts old pictures of his daughters it's because one or two things: 1. He doesn't spend much time with them post break-up. They're always with mom, so he has no new material 2. As they are tween and teens, they're less interesting to him. At this age, nearly all kids start to conclude their lives are shitty and it's because their parents are shitty—and in Todd's case they're probably right. Their childish delusion that "Daddy is the Greatest!" has worn off. Now Todd finds them just mouthy, annoying and ungrateful (as is the right and obligation of every teenager to be, the trick of parenting is to keep loving them until they snap out of it).

One of my friends is TMI woman. She goes in great detail publicly sharing all her court battles over custody and child support with her ex, even posting screenshots of the text messages they exchange. First, well, ok fine, but your kids are reading all this too. Maybe I'm old school, but my parents generation tried to shield their kids from all the divorce mudslinging, as best they could. He obviously is a shitbag deadbeat fuckboy, but I'm a believer in letting the kids figure it out all on their own.

Anyway, I'm beginning to wonder if Todd is her ex?

I'm on a Facebook group that is mostly gay men but one of them is trans (born female). Fine, whatevs. However, every time there is some sort of story posted about gays or lesbians being discriminated against in society, he has to pipe in with "that is awful--just imagine how much worse it is for trans people." Not everything is about you, Drew! I call him Debbie Downer, which I'm sure he would NOT appreciate! So humorless!

If Todd was your dad would you hang out with him?

I worry about Todd as Valentine's day approaches, I feel like some "nice guys finish last" memes with Jared Leto as the Joker are coming our way.

r241 Just doesn't get that Drew's struggle is real, he's trying to blend in but he's always being oppressed.

....

None of you know my hole story...

mike mitner had a problem

his daddy was mean and he hit mike too hard

his mommy was obese and could not move from her bed

his pastor was a secret bath house person

advice?

should mike move to nyc and live with the hippies?

How's Todd doing?

Cox posted an alarming message, saying, “I NEED EVERYONE TO STOP AND PRAY RIGHT NOW FOR HEAVEN!! IT’S AN EMERGENCY!!” Cox did not give any more details about what may have been happening with her daughter at that moment.

I had a friend post some bat shit insane rants about being betrayed very early in the morning (like 4AM) then delete his account a few hours later. I work graveyards but I don't know what he was doing up so late considering he works a 9-5 office job.

None of my fb peeps are as fucked up or as intriguing as todd and the others listed in this thread.

34 mins. ago [quote] Fml just Fml

5 hrs. ago [quote] I need a friggen do over today, can i just hit the reset button.

Yesterday (see link)

[quote] Its is better to die like a tiger, then live like a pussy. Word. [/quote]

This one goes out to any and all on Todd's friends list who may be acquainted with his ex-girlfriend, no doubt.

I just canceled Instagram and already feel better. On there, unlike Facebook (which I hate as well but use the event notices).. you can’t unfollow or block without fully unfriending. It’s also easy to mindlessly stalk. I was so sick of seeing people from high school, their babies, couples pics, ads, etc.

Todd is now on Instagram. His profile line is "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

It's a private account. He popped up as someone I should add because we're FB friends, but I won't. It appears he's uploading some of the memes I saw on his FB timeline so I'm probably not missing anything.

Todd has gone solo.

^ But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the other vaguebookers here: Jennifer Smith, the balding sad sack, Nicole the former mean girl from high school, the drug addict cousin, etc. Share some of their posts with us, please.

Here you go R258 I posted a comment (R199) on the other thread about druggies posting shit about their kids' being their "reason for living/light of their lives" even though the kids were taken away. This one is the female, druggie version of Todd. Today she posted this: "Calm her chaos, but never quiet her storm." Also this gem: "Having a good heart can put you in some fucked up situations." ( like overdosing in front of your kids?) I think this one may be my favorite, because why look within when there is always someone else to blame: "Hostalgia: rage that derives from never being able to get things back in your past that you feel nostalgic about; anger over the irretrievablility of the past, esp. when it was ruined for you by someone else." Yes, it HAD to have been someone else's fault, Jenni.

....

[quote]New Year's Resolution: Getting off Instagram. Only got on a year and a half ago. Do like seeing some creatives stuff online, but interactions are shit and do not bring out the best in people. Still, it's better than fucking FB which never hooked me. Thank god. No need to quit. Twitter is dead.

I am not on FB, but I got on IG last summer and I am still enjoying it. I limited my follows to cultural things; museums and galleries mostly; some artists. I don't even follow all of my friends, just those who do not post selfies (as soon as someone posts a selfie I unfollow them).

I also follow men's fashion and a few stores I like, so I know when they have sales.

At least with IG you can tailor it to be the exposure to things you like.

[quote]I just canceled Instagram and already feel better. On there, unlike Facebook (which I hate as well but use the event notices).. you can’t unfollow or block without fully unfriending. It’s also easy to mindlessly stalk. I was so sick of seeing people from high school, their babies, couples pics, ads, etc.

I think people can't tell when you block them on IG, but isn't it enough to unfollow them? What is a big deal about unfollowing someone? Why are people tip-toeing so much on social medial?

bump

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote]As an oldster, I have to say this stuff went on in LiveJournal, and probably predecessors of FB (Orkut, Friendster, etc).

Isn't this what the old annual Christmas letter was for?

These ones don't worry me because they show a vulnerability. It's something most people quietly experience that once went socially unseen. People get hurt when they've been deceived or betrayed, they want to be liked and loved. They want to be seen as special and unworthy of abuse.

It's when this gets into obsessive fixations on plotting against others, airing dirty laundry constantly, trying to set people up to be humiliated in a public place where everyone knows you (that's what these social media networks are, virtually: Like a big, public function or party) that it becomes pathological. It becomes like a road rage thing.

I have a Facebook friend (about 50 years old) who posts things such as pictures of flowers, animals, and cute little memes in the daytime. But every night she becomes unhinged and makes drunk statuses about her family troubles and lays it all out in the open. Most often they are about how mean her husband is and how much they argue. Then usually a non sequitur about how much her back/hip/leg hurt. And sometimes the statuses are more cryptic saying things like "So what is next? Please advise."

There was even once when she made a status about how her oldest son got her a Mother's Day present but didn't give a card to go with it, and how much she felt hurt by that. He commented, told her off, and called her ungrateful.

But the next morning she sobers up and the statuses are deleted.

R267 Send her a PM. Ask her about it privately.

You can submit vaguebook posts to this website. But I found the examples in this thread way more interesting.