Have you ever just up and quit your job?

Yeah. So?

We all feel this way every Sunday evening, OP.

Yes. I had a terrible management time at my job so I saved up for about a year and gave them my notice. When they asked me to stay on to train a replacement, I said "No" faster than anything I ever have.

yes I went in drunk at 7am to HR and plunked all my stuff down and told them I quit and called my boss everything but a white woman!!.

3 years later I retired from said company with dignity and a nice retirement party after giving them 24yrears(and quit drinking).

Yep. The mental anguish, stress, exploitation, unpaid extra labour, and lack of professional opportunities to advance weren't worth the bullshit pay. I greatly enjoyed the people I worked with--I taught English to international students and met some extraordinary human beings from around the world--but when I found myself having two panic attacks on the job, I knew that even temp work was better than this.

R4...you SURE you quit drinking?

Yes. Always.

Well, yes, but somewhat inadvertently.

Yep. My company was absorbed by another one that was headquartered in a "right to work" state and the HR person made it clear that we now could get fired any time for any reason — "and if you get tired of us, you can do the same thing."

It was a miserable experience. Six months later I was on a business trip and they had booked me into a sketchy motel. In the middle of the night someone tried to break in. I changed to a Holiday Inn at 3 a.m.

The next day I called to tell them what had happened and was informed they weren't paying for the Holiday Inn (which was like $100/night). It was the last straw and I quit over the phone.

HR called me back to say I should've given them two weeks' notice and I had the pleasure of saying, "But I thought you were in a right-to-work state and we could sever the relationship at any time for any reason." They were furious.

I'm not proud of it, but yes, I've walked out of numerous jobs. In fact, it was a problem when I was younger: I had to learn to stick with it and perservere. When you're younger, it feels like 'An Officer and a Gentleman'. But you can't keep doing that. You may dramatically flip your scarf over your should, only to find it caught in the door jamb when the door closes.

More recently, about 7 years ago, my boss scheduled me to train a whole group of trainees, but we needed to schedule my Mom for surgery, and I needed to run the household while my Mom was in the hospital. I asked if they could reschedule the training a few months later, and was refused, so I gave my 2 weeks notice that day, and that was that. I spent the next two weeks working 10 or 12 hour days, training other people to do all the things I did back then. I spent a year and a half off work, and my poor Mom had a series of major inpatient hospitalizations, so it's a good thing I had become a full-time care-giver. I eventually re-applied and returned to my old job (getting paid less than when I quit), but I will never regret doing the right thing for my family. And it irks me when they bring up the term 'family values' (dog whistle word) to justify hatred towards us gay. I took care of my parents while my brother and sister did nothing.

Yes in my early 20s. Wish I could do it now. Don't regret it. Only regret not doing it sooner.

Yes. I had a new manager who liked to micro manage. The way things were going I would have eventually been fired so I gave my notice. Within two weeks I found another job.

I didn't exactly quit, but arranged a 6 week leave of absence for surgery I delayed for over seven years (I gave three months notice). I planned ahead for up to 6 months off, in case there were complications.

Of course there were complications, and I declined to return to work in 6 weeks using a knee cart and crutches in a busy emergency clinic. Especially when the business' insurance company wouldn't cover any accidents or complications with me returning to work against medical advice.

I declined to renew my contract and remained off work for 10 months, changed careers and have no regrets.

I used to work in manufacturing. I have walked off the job 2 times. I ended up finding another shitty job in a few weeks. Now I have a good job that I like.

I wouldn't ever quit a job again without having another job lined up

r5 uh yeah! i'm sure

R8 - "right to work" refers to contracts between employers and unions. A union will negotiate contracts for classes of employees. In a right to work state the contract can't include mandatory union membership or mandatory collections of any fees from employees by the union.

I suspect what you are referring to is "at will" employees.

"Right to work" refers to rules while you are employed, "at will" refers to termination rules. It sounds like in your case your previous employer had some version of an employee contract with you, the new employer did not. For example where I currently work there are two classes of professional staff. One that after a six month probationary period you have certain protections. You can be terminated because you job is being eliminated or for cause. In either case there are further rights depending on the nature of the termination. The second class are "at will", meaning we can be terminated and no reason given. You are out the door with no notice or severance - beyond accumulate vacation.

"Right to work" sucks, but doesn't apply in your case.

Where I currently work I'm supposed to give at least three weeks notice and managers four weeks even though my last manager only gave two weeks after working six months.

Out of courtesy by company sends out emails stating someone is no longer with the company. They don't always provide details so it takes us a few days to figure out if the employee planned to leave or was terminated. On one occasion it explicitly said if we see the person hanging around the front door to not let them in.

Am strongly thinking about putting my 2 weeks in tomorrow or Friday. I am emotionally and physically exhausted from this job. The company I had worked at for almost 20 years as a manager went bankrupt. I was off 6 months and went into a deep depression. A friend gave me a job at his small business, which was good of him. He is a wonderful man, but he has an office full of entitled millennials. I don't fit in.

I feel like they're waiting for even the slightest mistake to turn on me. That waiting for the other shoe to drop feeling isn't good for me at all. Loss of sleep and appetite. I'm in physical pain a lot. But I don't have a job lined up to go to next.

You need to quit R17. You need to. Its bad for your health AND career.

EVERY GODDAMN TIME. I NEVER TOOK MOUTH FROM NOBODY.

Bill’s mother?

I started a new job and had a first interaction with the boss about three or four days later. I took a message from a customer for him. I brought him the message and he said “what, what is THIS?” and then brought me into the main office space, where almost everyone sat. He then proceeded to humiliate me in front of the entire company, because the message hadn’t been taken exactly the way he wanted it. The sales manager was a very pretty girl who comforted me when it was over. I worked out the rest of the day and never went back.

Later I found out that he apparently set this whole thing up and had a business associate call and “leave a message” and the call was routed to the new male salesperson. I found this out from another guy who worked at the same company. He thought the owner did it to put other men in their place in front of the whole company. So he could show he was more macho or dominant than the new guy.

This was many many years ago. He retired a few years ago I think. He is greatly lauded for giving all this money to Israel. All the praise written about him on the internet, except when you read reviews of working conditions at the company, lol. When he dies I’m going to pay a visit to his grave and spit on it.

Yes.

I was supposed to be quitting at the end of the semester, a month away (I was a paraprofessional), but I wound up quitting after the Thanksgiving break. I had experienced several days of relentless panic attacks at the prospect of returning to finish the job. I decided to listen to my body and quit then and there. It had been a long, very rough year. The prior year wasn't too great either.

In retrospect, my previous year should have been my last, but I was having trouble letting go of a job that I had once loved. Things got shitty pretty fast, and I should have seen the writing on the wall. Oh well. Live and learn.

Thanks for the link R18. The not having a job lined up wasn't bothering me until I kept hearing from everyone that I "had to have one before I quit".

I think it used to be that way, but it may work for me to not have something - I work better under a deadline; I like a challenge; I might not fall into this darkness in my head if I have to keep searching.

The soul-crushingness is what gets me. I actually like the work - the being in pain with no insurance or time off is what's killing me.

As bad as it is r17 DO NOT QUIT.

I lost my job in Jan 2015. I only got a job in Sept 2017. I fell behind in my rent by 6 or more months. I was acutely stressed from worry. I went on anti-depressants and Valium (the doctor was so concerned).

My job sesrch saga is not entirely over yet. But I called a former acquaintance in another city. Not even an acquaintance - someone I knew. And knew of me. He hired from where I live now and working ftom home. For how long? I don't know.

I know you're miserable, r17. Try to get another job lined up before you quit. You owe yourself at least that.

I did. And they took me back because they were desperate. Or rather I got desperate myself after some thinking and having nothing afterwards. Everybody knew I threw a tantrum. Lesson learned: start looking around before you get desperate, and put yourself in a situation that you will never ever look back when you leave.

Am going to talk to the boss tomorrow or Friday. If I could get some time off then maybe I could stay a few more months. I don't know what to do anymore. Have been having suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. The one IRL friend I have isn't communicating with me right now *family in town for holidays* and I could use her opinion.

Thanks everyone for your input.

Never just up and quit your job unless you're independently wealthy.

No matter how bad you feel on the job, having no income is a worse and far more scary, never-ending and obsessive feeling.

I was going to suggest that, r17. But I didn't know if that was a good idea. Perhaps if you just ask for a couple of weeks to "stabilize" yourself and return, you may be on a better footing.

Please don't quit. I would hate to see you go through what I went through.

Take it one day at a time. Speak to your boss tomorrow. See if you can start your "holiday" tomorrow night. That would give Friday and the weekend followed by 2 weeks.

Best Wishes.

What r27 just said.

Then R17 drops dead of a heart attack.

Or heart attack as a homeless person. Take your pick, r39.

Meant to say r30.

My living costs are not high, and I think I will be OK. Also, I wanted to see about applying again for unemployment. I was a displaced worker from when my company closed, and the job I took paid 60 % of what I made before. I had a raise, but that still put me at 80% of my prior salary. I might still qualify for benefits and I know I qualify for help with finding a job.

I started getting migraines at work now. That was scary - blurred vision and bright lights. I get tension headaches, but this was weird.

Why are the few so adamant about the must have a job before leaving school of thought?

R17. Do not quit. Whatever you do...do not quit. Having no job, no income is far worse. If you must, dig down deep and try to get yourself together so that you can look for a job while you're still working.

Once you have your resume together, you can conduct your job search at night, weekends, etc., applying for jobs via the job search websites: Indeed, Glassdoor, Ladders, etc. Sending out a few resumes a week is not difficult--again, once your resume is together. Trust me, I just went through the same thing for a little more than a year. You can also write an occasional networking letter to try and secure an informational interview. Meet someone for lunch, breakfast, etc. It sucks, but you have to put yourself out there for anyone to know you're looking.

Unemployment benefits will get you by, but it's not enough. I though about dying--not killing myself, but maybe if I died, I wouldn't have to face this bleak future. There is no alternative other than to keep looking for a new job. Believe me, you do not want to be without a job no matter how much you hate your current job. Plus, once you start putting yourself out there, you will realize that your current job is just a job that you can leave--but leave with a plan. Do not just up and quit. DON'T JUST QUIT.

Nobody is listening to r17.

If you have an 8 month emergency fund go for it.

Sound advice r34 and also r27. But I fear r17 is too dejected and unwell to muster the strength. Logic is not getting through.

That's why I suggested a few days off to "stabilize" - Just get out of the workplace for 2 weeks. And see if he can rest, get a perspective back.

I hope he takes this advice. And people are listening to r17. You are wrong on that account, r35.

I walked out on a job only once. Miserable environment and the world's shittiest boss. She's a famous psychotic and never bathed. She was a fat little she-demon with trashy yellow gap teeth.

She looked like a jack o lantern.

Couldn't just quit crappy jobs when I was younger. But I showed up almost 3 weeks late from a European vacation at the last job. When the weenie boss threatened me with a disciplinary hearing, I told him not to bother and resigned on the spot. "I didn't see that coming", was his response. I filed for retirement later that day. Feel good departure from the working world.

I'm not an idiot, nor am I a fool. But R37 is correct about being dejected and unwell. I'm not rushing head first into this idea. I'm trying to trust what my body is telling me - can't sleep, and when I do the snooze button is pushed for an hour, because I don't want to get up. Not eating after work due to lack of interest. Thinking thoughts of how to make it look like an accident to save my family the shame. Crying at home alone.

Combine all this with a job that I come home from daily with bruises, scratches, and sore muscles to where my hands don't work correctly, on top of working 7:30 to 6 every day. I'm pretty worn out.

Go ahead - make fun of me.

Just the opposite. The international company I worked for was so hot to terminate me (pushing 50, too expensive to employ, preferred younger/cheaper) that when they finally sacked me, they mistakenly paid me double what I should have received for vacation and severance pay. They never caught their mistake.

R17 I hear you. I had a job once where the boss hated me. I got along fine with every single other person in the company but for some reason she had it in for me. I just couldn't physically and mentally take it anymore. I walked off the job. It was tough. Since I quit I didn't qualify for unemployment. My old workplace threatened all my former co-workers about giving me a reference. The only way I made it back on my feet several years later was with help from my parents. I was in my 40s at the time. When I quit I was severely depressed for a month or two. Then with the help of meds my survival instinct kicked in and I s5arted to fight for the life and job I deserved.

Not making fun, r17. Trust.

Talk to your boss first thing. Ask for 1 or 2 or 3 weeks. Don't say the real reason - just say there's a personal family issue you have to attend to. (Which is partially true).

And Rest. And try to find something else. Just trying to help you. It may not be easy reading this. But the intentions are good.

Thanks R42 - I turned 50 this year, and I just can't do the physically demanding jobs anymore. as much as it pains me to say that. I survived cancer, my first)career ending because of a spinal cord injury, but this is crushing my soul. I used to be a fighter, but I just feel so lost.

Appreciate everyone's input. Thank you for your time tonight.

Sleep well, r17. Stay hopeful.

I have, more than once, althought some were contract jobs. It sometimes seemed that temps or contract staff are supposed to parachute in and save a project/department/budget that is floundering, without the compaby being frank or honest about the circumstances or having realistic and achievable expectations. Example: department of 6 people canned, but only 1 new person hired to complete & 'transition' all of their projects. With terrible morale and unrealistic deadlines as well as a slashed budget, I have had to walk out on 2 occasions. Don't regret it at all. At least I could afford to. But if work is making you sick because it's a horrendous situation, and if you have benefits that may cover stress-leave (or whatever your doctor will call it), accept that it could be a career limiting move to take stress leave (at least it usually is at that particular company) and take the time off. Your mind & blood pressure will thank you.

Yes, I quit two in the past month. Never started the two I quit because I got better offers with more money.

I've quit jobs without having another job lined up sever times in fact. But approaching age 50 now, I wouldn't do it again.

If you have a healthy savings and/or a partner to help support you (or your parents if you are really young) then fuck it, quit. It's not worth your health.

If your savings aren't enough to get you by for a decent stretch in case you don't find another job quickly, try to tough it out if you can. I think a lot of times just making the decision to leave while you are actively looking for other work can make staying at a miserable job much more tolerable because you know the end is in sight. Start putting out feelers with people who might be able to connect you to a new position and start looking around for what might be out there.

If you really feel like you can't face another day there are things you might be able to do right now -like drive for Uber and that kind of thing in the "gig" economy that might be a way to bring in a few bucks to help get you by while you look for something more permanent.

Good luck.

R4 should be giving someone, or having someone's babies.

Just to echo what other people have been saying, please make sure that you do not make any impulsive decisions when it comes to your employment. A year ago today, I had a job that I had lobbied hard for and that was perfectly inline with my career trajectory. Like a dumb cunt, I quit after lasting about 2 months with no notice. Suffice it to say I had no savings/safety net, live in a very expensive city, and am estranged from my family. Since that time, I became an erotic masseure to make fast cash (basically escort adjacent). It pays the bills, but quitting my job so abruptly ruined my reputation in my industry (not to mention who might now know about my current "interim job"). Decisions made in haste can have major consequences, which I am learning the hard way. I am praying that I didn't ruin my life, but I might well have.

Not enough info r51. Why did you quit? What happened? Did you think you’d get unemployment for quitting? How old are you? Give us more.

I worked for Robert Isabell for one week and he and the other people were so awful I just never showed up again.

Someone senior government official once told me, "Most offices are dysfunctional."

Err...."Some"

I worked in retail from the time I turned 16 throughout college. I never minded it, and was good at it. My last retail job was at the now-defunct A&S department store. I was a "floater" meaning I would have to go to whatever department was short staffed, which was a disadvantage because I didn't really know the merchandise or where things were. Some days they didn't need me and I had to sit in a room by myself. This was before cell phones, so I literally just sat there and read old magazines. The management treated the staff like kindergartners, and thought we were all going to steal things. One day my friends came by on their way to the beach. I was on my shift, and bought a bathing suit and beach towel with my employee discount, clocked out, and left without telling anyone. I never went back, they never called me, and mailed me a check. My parents were very disappointed in my poor work ethic, but I went back to school a few weeks later and they eventually forgot about it.

The company was used to high turnovers, r56. They just backfilled the job. Until the next person quits.

Yes, I started a new job and suddenly realized it was the most boring place also had two dumb yappy co-workers and the location sucked (long Island City) 33rd street & Rawson. Maybe it's because I started in the winter but daily life there seemed bleak and miserable. I saw a bunch of loud mouthed youngn's running around after school, only 7/11 and Chinese for lunch, annoying 7 train commute, it all just overwhelmed me. I know I should have thought about all this before I accepted the position but I knew right then it wouldn't work out in the long run. I went to lunch and took the train home and didn't answer any calls or vm's.

YES! They had a policy wherein, If YOU RESIGNED/QUIT, you were asked to leave as soon are you uttered the words. The day I quit I had the rest of my day planned with indulgences to celebrate. Well, after I uttered the words, they immediately asked me to stay on indefinitely until they could find my replacement and have me train him. Yes him; it was a very masculine/testosterone fueled environment. I said, NO. I have other plans. Thereafter, if I ran into any former coworkers, they immediately looked the other way or walked off before closer contact. There must have been an email sent warning that I was persona non grata and that any contact would prompt swift reprisal. Frankly, I didn't give a damned and thought they were a bunch of losers.

[R52] - I knew the reputation of the person I was to be working for as temperamental and having a short fuse going in. However, I can usually deal with tough personalities and I felt that if I could form a relationship with her, it would be a tremendous boost to my career. Long story short, I was really busting my ass to exceed expectations, but she was a bit nastier than I had anticipated (or my skin was not as thick as I thought). The final straw came when I was working late at the office, ran to the bathroom, she called me on my office phone and then texted me while I was on the toilet asking, "where the hell are you". She then started shouting at me on the phone over particulars on a very tricky/lucrative deal that was precarious at best. Instead of taking a pause and a breath, I just quit on the spot. It was a terrible, immature decision and at 34, I should have looked at the long term. I had no expectations of unemployment since it was clear I was quitting. I was a fucking idiot. I never in a million years would have thought that I would essentially be an escort at this stage of the game. Perhaps I had a very entitled and arrogant mentality in retrospect. This is obviously a lesson that I needed to learn the hard way.

Oh yes. Several times. Did not regret it ever.

I wonder how r17 is doing. He was pretty upset yesterday.

I did two years ago and it still follows me from interview to interview ("Now, what happened there?").

Tell the truth, R63. Were you bullied/harrassed?

Wow, #64- you must be psychic. There was this one socio employee who was a master at bullying without seeming to bully, and decided to fixate on me: finding fault; setting traps; making shit up even (yes, he was a straight, right-wing Christian Republican).

I talked to our supervisor about it and she said, "Well, he takes his job very seriously"(!). In truth, she was so pre-occupied that she used him like a hall monitor to tattle back to her.

But it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Looking back, I'm glad they were shitty to me so I could have the courage to quit a shitty job.

So glad to emerge from that diseased, life-sucking cesspool of a workplace. Like some doc telling you that you are now cancer-free.

Fuck those assholes, R65. Do you check the obituaries by chance? I would.

Hi R62 - doing some better. Finished up a 65+ hour work week, and actually had more than 3 hours sleep last night. Perspective makes a huge difference! Haven't put my notice in - reviewed the upcoming schedule, and it has drastically slowed down! To about an 1/8 of what I've been dealing with the past 5 months. I may hold out, job search during the downtime, and still ask for some time off for "family matters".

Thanks for listening. I truly appreciate it - HNY to you and yours!

Holding out is trouble.

So you would just quit R68? That is the opposite of what I was hearing the other night, so I'm interested as to why you would just leave?

I would just quit immediately but that’s me. I’ve read a lot about “just not sticking around” and bad for your health and bad for your career. The whole “having a job lined up” thing, no. Sometimes what you’ve always been told, is wrong. But, that’s me. If you feel more comfortable sticking around, that’s your decision. But, I stuck out an abusive, harrassing place for nine months thinking it would get better, it didn’t. Never again.

I haven't but I know someone that did. Her schedule was changed and she just worked her last day, said good bye and left.

We kept in touch a few more years until I moved out of the state. She had been ready to leave for a while and this just made it the time to do it.

What kind of life is R67?

r17, I hope you quit. Don't listen to those who say stay with a job that is killing you.

But I see you are back today. What happened. I got tired of reading the entire thread.

2018 is your year R67. Never go back. Start over, or else it could be your last year.

Hi r17 - Am happy to hear your mood is a bit more upbeat. Once again, if you can at all persevere without any detrimental impact to your mental and physical health, try to hang in.

The reason I say "try to hang in" is it looks like your workload is letting up somewhat, you are getting some sleep and now have leftover time and energy to look for another job.

Only you know what is tolerable. But try to hang in, keep your income flow, your job history will show "continuous employment" which is a huge, huge plus when job searching and being interviewed.

A HNY to you as well, r17. Things will work out!!

[quote]Once again, if you can at all persevere without any detrimental impact to your mental and physical health, try to hang in.

R17:

[quote]Finished up a 65+ hour work week, and actually had more than 3 hours sleep last night.

Do people step back and say, “maybe this isn’t such a good idea” or are they convinced they are right no matter what?

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

R70, the idea isn't that it will change but that you will find something else.

Sure, when I was young and had moxie.

Unless you have a reasonably good relationship with your boss and/or some of your coworkers - whereby you may need them as a reference later on down the road - I don't see any obligation to give an employer a two week notice. Especially if you loathe who you're working for and they're never going to give you a recommendation anyhow. Do employers give you a "two week notice" when they fire you or you get laid off? If they can terminate you on the spot, you're equally entitled to quit on the spot.

The only unique situation I've been in so far though with being terminated, was I worked for a company that got bought out and almost all of us were laid off. They tried to keep everything hush hush for months, but word got around that it was going to happen and when. Apparently there were some legal requirements though due to the amount of people they were letting go (it was over 150 I believe), whereby they had to give us a 3 month notice. What they did instead was send us all on our way, and kept us on payroll for 3 additional months.

Bump

Yes, although it was under rather strange circumstances. It was the worst job I ever had. The company was failing big time, and unsurprisingly mo longer exists. The office was horribly toxic (save for dispatch but I was in customer service) and the only nice person in our side left. The other people I worked hated me for being rather quiet and because I liked reading. One of them haughty informed me that she never read "made-up stuff". Wtf?

Anyway, I was already depressed when I started working at this hell hole but obviously being stuck in an office with nasty co-worker and bosses who loved to talk about their adventures is Miami strip joints, I decided I'd had enough of everything. Bear in mind I was really young and without the experience to realise most places aren't like this.

So I left my mother a note, rented a hotel room and took an overdose. And that's how I left that job. They called once wondering where I was and that was it. I was so glad when I heard they had gone bust.

I'm in my 30's. I've quit so many jobs (without something else lined up) that I couldn't remember all of them if I tried. Within a day/week/month or more. Why? Overwhelming anxiety, personality clash, mismatch, better opportunity.. I only regret a couple. I've been let go aka fired twice (within the last 3 years) but those places I hated anyway, so the firing allowed me to collect unemployment, have health insurance, and hunt for something else. I've quit by walking out and not coming back, email, or with notice.

It started in about 2008 - I had an amazing career doing communications in the travel and entertainment industry, but a number of things happened including sexual harassment by a trusted boss. I don't know if it was the best or worst decision, but I quit and opted to start "freelancing" and accepting contract work, which was plentiful but NOT stable or easy. I felt confident that something would come along though.. and I had savings and supportive family. I believe so much is out there that it's just not worth staying in a shitty and uncomfortable situation.

I don't necessarily regret it, but that experience put me down a path that continues today of finding/quitting/looking/confusion/instability .. also when I moved, my old career path doesn't work in the new city, so I've had to find a lot of random work. I also seem to have trouble getting along with bosses and colleagues, even though I am professional and friendly, I don't fit into the cliquey office environments.

I'm currently in a job of one year (a miracle!) which is a contract for a large bank. I like it but sadly it isn't set to continue past this summer.

R83 here. I should note that I envy people who have found their career passion, love their jobs and have been in them for extended periods of time. Im in awe of you.

I had the opposite experience, where I had decided to go back to school, and had to wait months to leave the job I disliked between January and September.

R17 is the FMLA an option? You will still have to support yourself but I believe you still have medical coverage and it buy you some time off before making a final decision.

I did once, but I had another lined up beforehand. It felt so damned good, too. Almost 22 years later, I still get giddy when I think about how I strategically plotted my resignation for months. I had signed a contract for my current job in March and went home and wrote a heartfelt resignation to take effect on June 30. The very next morning, my boss informed me that she had reorganized my department under two of the most corrupt people in the organization. So I sat on my resignation. The next three months were delicious, because I knew exactly what the assholes would say and do every step of the way. Suffice it to say that I pulled the proverbial rug out from under them and they flew ass over tin cups.

a shitty waiting job, yes

R66, funny thing happened to me. I was working at a CPA firm that was very posh and clique-ish.

I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you that they had the firm divided as follows: all of the CPAs who had famous or very wealthy clients worked in these gorgeous offices on the 4th floor. They all had assistants, and the assistants were all women who looked like they jumped out of Vogue or Playboy. Everyone on that floor was VERY happy, and were paid very well. I was told during my interview that one of the reasons why I was starting at a certain salary point, was because it was expected of me to “invest in my wardrobe, makeup, manicures” , etc.

The 5th floor had all of the grunts, and the office environment there was dismal, to say the least. I also noticed that while there were a few minorities working on the 4th floor, the 5th floor had plenty of Filipinos, men and women who were not attractive in appearance, overweight employees, as well as employees who were older.

I was immediately befriended by the assistant to one of the managing partners, and a CPA who is a woman. These two told me where to shop, where to get my nails done during lunch, etc.

Anyhow, one of the CPAs there took a liking to me, and we soon started dating. Very quietly, I might add. He was a licensed diver, and he was very enthusiastic about getting me diving gear and lessons. Everything was going well, until I met a certain client. This client was a few years older than me, and had a famous father. We hit it off immediately. We were like inseparable besties. We had the same sense of humor, liked the same music, and we were a perfect fit. I broke it off with the guy in the office, and that was that. No one, and I mean NO ONE, knew that I was dating this guy.

This guy had a very bad cocaine problem. One night, we went to a concert, and afterwards, went back to his place, and proceeded to snort cocaine all night long. His place was the guest house on his father’s property. We had sneaked into his dad’s house, in order to steal some booze early the next morning. His father caught us, and ALL hell broke loose. I was terrified. The father called a cab to drive me to my car, and it was just awful.

I tried to sleep it off, but I was a wreck, because the father knew that I worked for one of the partners, and Daddy was not nice.

As expected, I walked into the office on Monday morning, and was promptly called to the 5th floor, where the HR office was situated. The HR manager, Lillian, looked like a lesbian ghoul. She always smelled of cigarettes and acetone. We were all disgusted by her. She told me that I was being let go, and offered no explanation (of course-since we all knew why), and gave me my final check. I didn’t think that was enough, and went back to the 4th floor to get my things. I barged into the office of the partner who managed the account of the famous father and druggie son, and started bawling my eyes out, telling him I was sorry, and to please give me another chance. He had a check made out to me for 6 months salary, and asked that my weekend escapades with druggie son Be kept quiet.

Fast forward to a year and a half later. I was in Malibu, having drinks at Gladstone’s, and who do I run into? Tricia. We start yapping about this and that, and I flippantly ask: “How’s that withered bitch, Lillian? Has she died from lung cancer yet?”, and Tricia responds, “OMG, who told you?” It turns out, that shortly after I was fired, Lillian was indeed diagnosed with lung cancer, had died! I felt horrible. Talk about a buzz kill. I’ll never forget how bad I felt for saying something like that.

And it gets worse. Druggie son ended up dying of an overdose, later on. It was all over the news, and it was fucking heartbreaking. Honestly, I cried like a baby. It still hurts as I write this. He was an amazing young man, who was raised by an asshole, and he just couldn’t get his shit together, and died.

I ended up getting clean and sober. JFC, I had a crazy life when I was younger.

R17, have a doctor sign you out of work for six weeks on Disability due to anxiety and severe depression. You can collect for up to a year, and look for work while you have some money coming in. Being that you are suffering from both of these things, it won’t be dishonest, and you can leave without bad blood, and take care of yourself.

R17 here again. So, I went back today following the 3 days off I had for the holiday. First thing office mgr asks me is when am I putting in my 2 weeks, since we're past the holiday and all. I mentioned that I needed time off the end of this month for a family wedding (which I had told hem about moths ago) and wanted to possibly get a few days before that to get my roof fixed on my house. "You're going to be gone almost 2 weeks then - you should just put your notice in. We don't give people more than 8 days off, and you haven't been here a year." Ok, I didn't have to take the time before, I was just asking as it's the slow time of year, and since I haven't asked for time off at all, I didn't know.

I get it - the college kids go back the 16th, and she's trying to set a schedule. But I feel forced out. I haven't been screwing up, I show up and work hard. No complaints from customers, and I've been making an effort to be friendly to co-workers. I'm just not 22, and I need insurance. I just feel like I got kicked though.

Does it really count as quitting if you leave before lunch on your first day?

r90 Yeah, do that. They'll just will just be waiting for you like a school of piranhas when you return from your medical leave and then God help you.

I want to say screw them, and just give 2 weeks, but I HATE feeling like she wins, and is pushing me out. She USED to be FT and there all the time, but now, she has a baby (that she wears while she is there) and is there maybe 1/2 day a week or so. They're essentially holding her job - it's nepotism, and I know I can't win. Was just trying to get a couple of more paychecks under my belt before I left. And I can, but I can't get the time off to take care of things around the house. FML.

And yes, R90 - I could probably walk into an office and be committed at this point, but with no insurance I'd be sunk.

Thanks for listening - again - all. If you do have any other suggestions, I'll probably put the notice in tomorrow,

[quote] If you do have any other suggestions, I'll probably put the notice in tomorrow,

I haven't been following your entire story, but I'd say don't give notice if you have put in enough tme for unemployment. Make them lay you off so you can collect. Good luck. I am over 50 in a physically demanding job, though luckily I haven't had cancer nor as severe injuries as you have, It isn't easy, but I enjoy it and it pays well.

In think you should read the thread, R95 before you give that advice.

Thanks, R96, I will when I have the time. That's why I started off with "I haven't been followng your entire story".

I'm pretty sure R17 will forgive me.

R17, I don’t think you understand how temporary SSI/disability works.

GO TO A DOCTOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BEFORE YOUR TWO WEEKS IS UP AND GET SIGNED OUT ON TEMPORARY DISABILITY.

My god. I’m trying to help you not be absolutely broke before you leave this company.

Go and talk to your doctor tell him that you are extremely depressed and anxious, but that you DON’T want to kill yourself

Have him sign you out for six weeks to start. You don’t even have to go back to the office. But if you don’t want your disability payments to start immediately, have him sign you out the day after your last day.

Once your disability gets approved (your former employer has no say in that process or decision), you will get paid 80% of your highest earning quarter in the last 12 months. Your first payment will only give you one week’s worth of disability income, while the rest of the payments will be two weeks each payment.

Before the six weeks are thru, like a few days before, have your doctor sign you out for another six weeks. Do that for a full year, if need be. Tell your doctor that you have no health insurance, and you will be able to pay him cash for your follow ups. He will likely drastically reduce your visit fees. If you live in California, go sign up for FREE health insurance immediately, since you will qualify, due to your disability.

During that time, look for a job that you will be suitable for.

You’re a total mess. You are severely anxious and depressed according to your previous posts. You’re even contemplating suicide. You need time to heal and get better. Temporary Disability is the way to go.

If you get on temporary disability for depression/anxiety, won't they medicate you?

Yes, R99. OP might need meds. Have you read his previous posts? If he doesn’t think he needs them, he doesn’t have to take them.

One of my close friends went through something similar to OP. To top it off, her asshole husband was divorcing her. She was in serious mental health crisis. Her doctor put her on disability for clinical depression and severe anxiety. It took her a little over a year to recover. However, at least she had some money coming in, and didn’t starve, or go without basics.

I feel that OP has had an extra full plate. He even wrote upthread that he had thoughts of suicide. That’s a really big deal. OP has lost correct perspective. Listen, it happens to the best of us. All sorts of people, from various walks of life have gone through something similar. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

R17 obviously needs a break. If he had a broken limb, no one would expect him to not have it x-rayed, diagnosed, and properly set in a cast. No one would expect him to perform physical work while he heals, right? It’s the same thing with poor R17. He is experiencing somewhat of a broken brain, at this time. He needs rest, and perhaps (most likely) meds in order to get through it. He has already paid into this program. It’s his money. He is authentically unwell psychologically at this time, so he’s not scamming the system.

This will give r17 much needed rest, and recovery time for the first six weeks. Then he can sign out for another six weeks, and look for decent employment quietly. He can continue signing out for a year, while he diligently looks for other employment. This isn’t some permanent solution, nor should it be viewed as such. But he’s genuinely in crisis, and he genuinely needs help. This is a good way of getting it.

By “OP”, I meant R17. ^^^^

[quote]My god. I’m trying to help you not be absolutely broke before you leave this company.

Um, didn’t he say he had only 3 hours a sleep a night for two weeks, or something like that? I think health is a little more important. The people encouraging him to stay are bizarre to me. They are why this thread exists.

He should quit now. Immediately.

I was in a pretty senior job. After years of enjoying it, personnel changes made it hell. I made a formal complaint and on the basis of that negotiated a leaving deal. Not a huge one but a bit of a cushion. I paid off my mortgage. I work from time to time now, doing "as and when" consultancy work for a couple of organisations. My income is small but my outgoings are much smaller as well. It was totally the right move. I am older so it worked for me and I'm conscious that for younger people with dependents it would be difficult to do. But everyone needs to put their mental and physical al wellbeing first, so if you can't leave without having a job, think of getting a more junior stop gap job that'll enable you to quit and tide you over while you get some thing else. And fuck whether that looks bad on the CV or any of that crap, life is too short to stress yourself into alcoholism, depression or an early grave.

r17, I take back what I said about leaving. They are ready to fire you, let them do that. Just take off as many days as you can and then they will up and fire you, and you will collect unemployment.

Put my 2 weeks in. Just need to get away from there, and try to get myself looking somewhat human again before flying back home for a family wedding. The combination of seeing family again, flying, and this job were just too much. I asked for time off, but that didn't work out. I thought about working right up to the wedding, being off and coming back, and I just didn't want it. Shook the bosses hand, thanked him for taking a chance on me, and told him I'd work the 2 weeks.

Thanks to all who replied, and sorry to any who I upset.

Oh no. Highly unprofessional (unless your employer is Weinstein or something.)

[quote]R4 yes I went in drunk at 7am to HR and plunked all my stuff down and told them I quit and called my boss everything but a white woman!! 3 years later I retired from said company with dignity and a nice retirement party after giving them 24yrears(and quit drinking).

Hahahahaha!

I can just imagine the eye rolling and hushed, behind-the-scenes discussion that went on THAT day!

Not at all unprofessional.

Good for you, R17. Congrats.

[quote](unless your employer is Weinstein or something.)

Oh, dear.

I started working at my current job in October. In that time five, FIVE people have quit with no notice. It is the most toxic place I have ever worked, and I've been at it since 1970! I gave 2 weeks notice, my last day is sunday. Amen baby.

My daughter does it every time she gets a job. She has borderline personality disorder.

Good for you R111.

She's having a real meltdown in the Michael Wolfe thread. Man, she does not like hearing anything bad about Cheeto.

Oh balls, wrong thread.

Thanks for the laugh R115 !

Bump

Two weeks is up. Last shift today.

I've done it once. I was at a job for almost 10 years and it was fine until my last year there. Suddenly one of my co-workers began to have emotional issues and became paranoid that everyone was out to get her. She took out much of her paranoia on me because I was younger and able to adapt to technological changes quickly. She would cry, scream, and make scenes but none of the management would do anything because they were all scared of her. Finally I filed a formal complaint with HR but because she was suffering from an emotional issue, they couldn't do much. I then asked about being placed in another job within the company but was told I could apply but they wouldn't be willing to do that. So I quit. Funny I found a job with a rival company within two weeks.

I was a 911 operator for a week. It was the most stressful job you can imagine. I told the MOD i was going for a break and never returned.

Months later I ran into one of my coworkers who told me I was the talk of the office, that whenever someone was having a bad day or after a particularly bad call, they'd say "I'm going to take a (my name) break!"

R17 / R118: how did it go? Did they hire your replacement? Have you been looking for another job?

Congrats R118!!! You sound better already. 😊

R121 Thanks for being concerned! Am doing OK - first morning afterward. Was nice not to get up at 5:30am and head out into 10 degree weather!

Worried a bit about what is to come next, but I think that's to be expected. Have a few leads on jobs. Just want to get through this family wedding (next weekend) and then go from there.

I agree with some posters here. If you can manipulate some LTD or excuse and use that time to find a new job, that would be ideal.

Am in a depressive funk right now. Hopefully things will get better.

I up and quot my job Thursday. Feel good. New start—hopefully new career entirely.

Good article, even for R17/R125 (who I think could be a troll...).

Not a troll R127 but thanks for the shout out.

I managed to do this... in Nairobi, Kenya. Month after month, the company was struggling to pay me and the boss lied all the time, consistently said preposterous things, made ludicrous demands, was doing a terrible job of running the company.

Much as the boss was a Kenyan man, he had a helluva lot in common w. a certain U.S. president who was elected in 2016....

In a detached sense, it was fascinating and entertaining to see what ridiculous nonsense this guy would come up with. I would have let it reach whatever end it reached, but the money issue was a real problem.

So, along came an offer for a short-term gig in another country and they wanted me there ASAP. I walked out of the Nairobi office at the end of a working day without saying anything, went to the airport a few hours later and got on a jet.

I never sent email after I was out of the country or answered the phone when the HR woman/office manager called me the day after I left.

....

Bump

Yeah when I was younger and would act impulsively. I didn’t have pets or anything and didn’t really give a shit what happened to me. It always worked out okay

Never quit a job until you have another sure thing--take it from me, you will feel like crap if you do. (Although unemployment is nice if you can get them to fire you.)

Yeah I was suffering from untreated mental illness when I did it

Bump

You don't owe any employer two weeks notice. Yes, you're out of a job, but you don't need to give them a two weeks notice before you quit. Give yourself a two weeks notice instead.

god yes. if i dont really really really love the job i quit.

Except for one time, I give 2 weeks' notice. The one time I upped an quit was when the boss had a huge temper tantrum (it was a bar). I was a lot younger and had something to fall back on, so it wasn't a hard decision. These were the days of land lines and this guy (ex-boss) crank called me afterwards. What an asshole.

I had 2 other miserable jobs where I gave 2 weeks' notice. The bosses of those jobs told me just leave now, never mind the 2 weeks. Both of them were assholes and, IMO, were insulted that I quit and wanted to take back some power. Sort of like: you can't quit, you're fired! (I'm outwardly calm and civilized when I quit jobs.)

Several times. But I made sure I had an even better one to go to. Then I gave the corporate world my middle finger and quit altogether. Bye, rat race. May we never meet again.

4 times in fact before the job I have now.

IME, when you're in a truly miserable job, it's hard to have the energy to look for a new job. You're so busy dealing with the bullshit of your present job.

Yup.

Yes and I regretted it. Not only could I not find a job got three months but I had to take money from my family. I ended up moving back home for two months and then a man I’d met shortly before I returned home told me he was in love with me so I moved back to be with him. It lasted three years and we stayed friends.

the general consensus is usually DO NOT quit your job, until you get another one... however, in some circumstances, enough is enough..

i quit a job years ago, mainly because i was treated like shit (but yet every 6 months i always got great reviews from my bosses so they treated me bad but yet praised me every 6 months?) and because i LITERALLY felt like i was going to be fired every day, one day.. that is NO WAY TO WORK, NO WAY TO LIVE, so i quit on them, before they could fire me, and no i don't think I was being paranoid.....

All the posters saying Don’t Quit! A terrible job is better than no income! You’ll regret it!—doesn't anyone save any money? You should have an emergency fund for exactly this reason—and yes working day after day, month after month in a soul sucking (or worse) job IS an emergency. I have a modest salary but I have enough savings that I could quit working tomorrow and be fine for at least 2 years. And I have a mortgage payment!

If you work in a corporate environment, they'll do everything they can to avoid letting you know they're about to lay you off, months in advance. You don't owe them a two weeks notice. Trust me, if you want to move on to another job, do it. They will uncerimoisuly let you go in the blink of an eye.

In 1996, when I was 40, my 98 year-old grandmother died on a Friday evening. Her funeral was on a Tuesday, the day after Memorial Day. I called and left voicemail messages with both my boss and HR. saying I would not be in on Tuesday and would be back in the office on Wednesday. When I went in on Wednesday morning, I was summoned to HR and was told I would not be paid for either the Holiday (Monday) or the day I took off (Tuesday) because it was not a pre-approved absence before or after a holiday. (Never mind that I was a salaried employee.). They told me I lied about my grandmother dying in order to get a longer weekend. I knew what assholes they were, so I was prepared. I went back to my office, and quietly cleaned out my personal belongings. On my way out, I stopped at that HR person’s desk, handed her a clipping of the obituary from the newspaper that I knew I would need as proof, and a resignation letter. The obit listed me as a survivor.

I got in my car and drove home. They called me repeatedly and left voicemail messages asking me to come in so we could talk. I did not return the calls. I filed for unemployment, and there was a contentious hearing, but I was awarded benefits. I spilled the dirt on all the shit they had done over the years and the discrimination I had experienced as an openly gay man. It was an ugly hearing, but I received unemployment.

I found another job the day after I quit. But that job wouldn’t start until September, which meant I was able to have the summer off. When I was later awarded unemployment, it made for a wonderful summer. I was sad to see September come. But that new job was a huge improvement and I worked there for many, many years.

Interestingly, over the years I crossed paths with both my boss and that HR person. They were looking for jobs and I was then in the position to do the hiring by then at my new company. Even though neither was granted an interview, I sent them both courtesy rejection letters thanking them for their interest in the position, but that we had decided to go with another candidate. And my favorite line was, “I wish you the best in your future endeavors.” My signature block was at the bottom, meaning they knew who sent it.

They are both dead now. I hope their funeral attendees had pre-approval to go to their funerals.

What goes around, comes around.

"... but you don't need to give them a two weeks notice before you quit."

Sometimes they'll use that to not give you the pay you're due. I lost two weeks of stored-up vacation pay because I gave 12 days notice instead of two weeks.

You don’t quit a job, you fire a bad employer. At least that’s how I view it.

In high school several times

R149.... good point! well said!....

R120 ascended to memehood!

I up and quit every crappy survival job I had while in school and for the year or so after I finished school before I could find a job in my field. Rather than let those jobs get to me, I'd quit the moment they started to bother me and find another one a week later.

My last boss was verbally abusive. None of their reports lasted even a year under them. During my last vacation there, I snuck into the office, dumped all my work shit , left and fired off a resignation email.

I worked extremely briefly at Mini Circuits Labs in Brooklyn in the late 80s. The guy who owned and operated the place, Harvey Kaylie, enjoyed humiliating employees in front of the other staff. You’d think he’d already feel powerful because he had developed such a successful business but no. He had a need to make people squirm in front of others, so everyone could see he was in charge.

He did that to me a week or two after I started. It made me think overnight about whether I wanted to spend my days in such an environment, and whether I wanted to contribute to making a man of such a character even richer. I decided I didn’t.

So the next morning I called the pretty, sardonic young sales manager, who I reported to, and told her that based on the environment that had been demonstrated by that display on his part, I would no longer be coming in, and told her where she could send my paycheck. She got that a lot I guess, because the news seemed to roll right off her.

After I wrote this I googled him and discovered that he’s dead. Good. Of course he was a wealthy guy who gave tons of money to Jewish causes so he’s a saint naturally. But I remember once the internet got rolling and those “review this employer” sites started popping up, I looked them up and the list of complaints against his treatment of employees was as long as your arm. One guy said everyone was miserable and lived in a constant state of nervous tension.

Omg I just realized I replied to this same thread twice! Also r21 (which gives more detail about what happened).

What R144 and R145 and R149 said. The company I work for that hired me back when it was run by an older friend was great when he ran the department. Positive atmosphere and even though I got sent to Romania two times, it was great until the moment he retired and sold it to a larger corporation run by a huge corporation in California. Eve since, it's turned into a toxic environment with micromanaging supervisors who got jobs with no experience, a huge turn-around is happening and nepotism is the order of the day. Most older employees were driven away and replaced with cheaper employees in their 20's. It's truly awful. When this project is over, I am just going to quit. Have enough saved for 2 years in case I don't work after years in the workforce and selling a larger place in Woodland Hills. Will just buy something cheaper or rent till I find something else.

Most employers would fire you without a second thought.

Yes, once. It was my first restaurant job and the manager was terrible and abusive.

One weekend, I was bartending and front-of-house was terribly under-staffed. An order was up for a table (which wasn't mine) and the head chef had lost his patience waiting for the server to bring their table their food. He asked me to run the food, and as I was the manager stopped me midway to the table and chewed me out for doing something she hadn't asked me to do.

I quit on the spot. "Today will be my last day working at this restaurant," I said. She replied, "Would you like to leave now?" I answered, "No, because then you'd have no bartender for the rest of the day."

Never regretted it for a minute.

Yes. One summer when I was in school I was tricked into working in a "nice" restaurnt's kitchen. I had taken a job as a waiter but was told all the waiters needed to know how the kitchen worked.

After two nights at the dishwasher, I realized that I had been hired under false pretenses. When I went to the manager's office to object, before I could say anything she told me that overtime would not appear in my paychecks, but "I will make it right with you by the end of the summer."

I told her to stick her lying tongue up a dead rat's anus and left. Within days, I had another, really interesting job in a research lab.

Make sure to shore up references from colleagues before doing it.

Yes. Four times in one year.