The Datalounge Fallout Shelter

Hahahahahaha

On the other hand, the nutloaf actually improves with age.

Yeah, R2, but how long does it take to reach peak flavor? The raw butter may not last that long.

Earrings

Caftans

I think this should be bumped in light of recent events!

this really isn't funny

I'm so disappointed about the whole not-having-TCM thing, they're having a. "Who Gives A Flying Fuck" marathon tonight.

What's in the fridge?

The lesbians aren't happy either."

Don't piss off the lesbians. They have all the U-Haul vehicles needed for the moves to the shelters.

WHICH ONE OF YOU THIEVING HOES TOOK MY QUEEN HELENE MINT JULEP MASQUE?

Lesbian here. We're fine. I got the girls to hand over their tampon strings. I should have a volleyball net woven by dawn. Thanks, girls!

That was Julie, R10. She is such a bitch.

Don't start that shit with me, R12. It was Cheryl.

Well neither of you donated tampon strings for the net, so you're both bitches.

This creepy guy was filming me in the shower (I kept my towel on the whole time).

I hate to be mean but... Cheryl? In a confined space?

Listen up! I won't eat people, but my rescue pets will! I suggest we let me use my youtube MMA skillz to kill the five or ten of us with the lowest instagram following. That way, we'll have enough pet chow to get through this. I have plenty of protein powder for the survivors.

Animal lives matter!

It better not be the bread in the refrigerator, R8.

I'm so glad I brought my dressing screen. We all have to sleep in the same room and so far the immodesty is appalling.

Cheryl was the one who opened up all of the cases of canned tuna so she could use the juice to douche with.

OK, we'll need a rope to rappel with!

Men, give me your underwear!

I'm just going to *huff* tie them *huff* together *huff* *huff* *sigh* Pierre Cardin, Seriously?* huff* huff*

The joke's on you R16 and R20. I've been appointed to be in charge of Housekeeping, ala toilet paper disbursement. Who's stupid, now?

We're going to need more than one bag of frozen turkey meatballs, Jaymz.

There is a sign up sheet on the blast door for you to sign and commit to one dish for the potluck.

Cash bar?

^ pleasepleaseplease don't let it be me.

Can we get some twinkies? They last forever.

Moooo! A good moo to you all, sirs and madames.

The Eldergays are fucking useless.

They didn't want to help us and the lesbians move the trunks because their backs and callouses and all. Then they stood around suggesting we'd move them easier if we took our shirts off, which the lesbians gladly did.

Now they're complaining that the trunks are last year's gray, that this year's is more "mauvish"

And two of them are trying to pass a resolution banning towel dancing and music created after 1988.

Sigh.

There's also a resolution addressing "Pasta Draining."

Keep r28 away from the whiskey .....and the nuns.

You're triggering me! You're triggering me!

Uh oh. This can't be heaven...

Is it Moose-friendly?

I naturally assume an in-house dry cleaners will be onsite to clean my luxurious caftans, Oui?

Will there be a special area for WOMYN Fibro warriors?

NO MUSIC BY PENISED PERSONS EVER!!! (that's what got us into this mess in the first place)

Yay! We get to have "Let's Be" parties, IN PERSON!!

Goddammit, I can't pick up anything but 2G inside this shithole and I'm gonna go nuts without Pornhub. I ALWAYS rub one out to something in the Twinks Fuck Daddies playlist before bedtime!

Oh, one more thing . . . a standard rotary telephone and pencils will be in place as well, Oui, Cheri?

IS the Spaz Troll in the shelter?

Someone has brought a stinking cat into the shelter!

Let's dump that disgusting creature.

Oh I hope the spaz troll is in the shelter! Also, remember our Ebola Hysteria Troll? He was sure that we would all be dead by the end of 2015. But he was hilarious in his posts, and signed them with witty little remarks. WHET the Ebola Hysteria Troll?

I AM IN THE SHELTER AND HARRY STYLES IS HERE WITH ME!

Attention, peoples. Card-carrying DL-ers, please advance to front of the line.

Where the fuck is Spazzzy Zayn R43?!?

R45, Spazzy Zayn was supposed to turn up to the Shelter but he cancelled!

He's gonna get stoned with Gigi instead and enjoy the light show as those warheads come in over LA.

Should we let the Truvada Troll in?

ROBERT REPULVEDA WANTS TO COME IN!

Well, let him in—the inflamed foyer of his colon will provide additional shelter once we start running out of room!

Is there room at the inn for some obscure Golden Age character actresses?

Dear Lord in heaven!

Dear God, why did I accept the sandwich Erna offered me? I'll be dead by morning.

Can I bring my nephew, Traylor? He can have the cot right next to mine: I'll be sure to keep an eye on him.

ATTENTION, ATTENTION!

Freebleeding is NOT--I repeat--NOT under any circumstances acceptable at any time during your stay, so long as it can be helped. Not only is it disgusting, but the wet floors pose a safety hazard to a community which already suffers enough from crippling fibromyalgia.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Obviously copious amounts of weed!

Gurls, Mr. BRANDON CODY and Mr. COLIN SIMPSON have arrived! Please lift your muumuus and lick your jowls in deference!

R54, Well, do you want the tampon strings for that damn volleyball net, or dontcha!?! You can't have it both ways!

Oh, thanks ever so for your hospitality! I promise we won't be a bother!

Will the disabled, pansexual, queer Muslim transwomen be guaranteed top leadership roles??

Is the cable still working? The Princess Diana special is on tonight, I CANNOT miss!

Got the gallon of grease. Did anyone bring matches?

What a dump.

r57 I am simply preparing for the inevitable day that all of the womyn's periods synchronize. If the lesbians decided to freebleed, the gays would be stampeding outside, begging for a more merciful death.

I heard the "hot felon" Jeremy Meeks may be here somewhere....

Boogity-boogity!

The peanut butter knife MAY not be placed in the jelly jar, not even once, out of respect for our systers with legume allergies who happen to enjoy jelly and choose to participate in the consumption of said jelly. I'm telling you NOW, so I don't have to tell you THEN.

I don't care what the rules are, I'm bringing my Service Animal with me!

What kind? Oh, it's a Komodo Dragon.

Things are about to get ugly. The DL Eyetalians want to bake a lasagne, but there is only Jimmy Dean sausage!

Anyone who wishes to use my cappuccino maker is welcome!

A NACREOUS LAYER OF PERMA-CUM, ALREADY?

Jesus. We just got here.

Who wants to tell Jeff that the little flower arrangements he keeps stuffing in every corner are fucking hideous? I would, but I'm afraid of making Colto cry. Again.

The Fibrowarriors are demanding a mug count, stat!

Aw, shaddap, R32!!! Thank God I brought my Armani flak jacket.

Anybody have

The " Wymyn of MichFest" should pack up their vagina capes, penny loafers, and Dockers khakis & polos, and find their own batcave.

Anyone bring their MAC Matte Creme? I'm starting to glow.

Fat Niall Horan is outside but he WON'T FIT IN THE SHELTER!

Where is this new attraction on the Datalounge Land map?

Is it near The Carrie Fisher Experience?

I will bring oodles of Pumpkin spice so that we'll all have a mug full of yummy goodness to cradle!

Will Raul and his btjcpctscricccpctbj cock be there?

Davidda is knocking at the door. Everyone stand stock still and pretend we're not home.

I just heard Pam talked about Bertha's, MY partner, traumatic experience of losing her first pet as a child. THAT is a very intimate information that Bertie never shared with me, HER partner, about. I'm sorry but Pam HAS to go, otherwise I would feel a lost of connection with my soulmate.

Remember girls, I clock in as the person with the most U-hauls at 6 U-hauls, comparing to Pam's measly little 2003 FWD Dodge Ram. I think the right decision is very obvious here

The DL fallout shelter: 5678 bottoms and not one top.

*Looks around room*. All this pandemonium.

And shrinkage. We have shrinkage, people!

Me? I'm just waiting for the "Presenting Hole" Yoga Class to start.

There must be more than one Datalounge Fallout Shelter, right? You can't have the Madonna and Janet Jackson fantards in the same space. if there is only one DL shelter I'd rather take my chances somewhere else.

In high school we learned how to survive Mutually Assured Destruction. Dead bodies absorb plenty of radiation.

Did anyone bring their dying mother? Wow. OK, three to a doorway.

No, godammit, NO! I am not bunking next to BILL TAYLOR. He has already asked how to tell if any of you are gay and whether treating some of you to a "COLD MALTED MILK" would be enough to convey his interest. I have sufficient.

*Shoves R87 out the door*

Knows there is only one DL fallout shelter.

There's certainly NO room for that cunt Joan Fontaine or anyone associated with her.

That's it! I'm making a new shelter, Zetashelter!

You know those soap opera queens are going to be fighting over who's turn it is to 'be' Sleestak in the Lost Underground City of Eterna. Tears will be shed!

There better not be any Millennials!

There will be tears every five minutes, as everyone syncs to ovulation cycles. The bitch in the caftan is already frozen in shock. His cock is dangerously drooping to floor level.

Pronoun Bingo will be starting in five minutes.

Please be sure to get your cards from the LGBTQIAWXYZMOUSE#%@)WOIOGTBWPGREOJGS2 stand.

Special prizes will be awarded for those who can name all the Glorious Strands Of Human Sexuality represented in the acronym LGBTQIAWXYZMOUSE#%@)WOIOGTBWPGREOJGS2

There damn well BETTER be room for my dildo collection ! Ive spent 1000s on it ! YOU may not think them necessary for survival,but I damn sure do. Have you seen all the screaming bottoms crammed in here ?!?

Freshly 'baked' dump cake to go with your pumpkin spice r80 , made creamy with milk from the lactating lezzies

[quote]Is the cable still working? The Princess Diana special is on tonight, I CANNOT miss!

Unfortunately, the cable seems to be on the blink, but the entertainment committee has a couple of elders looking for a VHS copy of Brendad Ickson's "Welcome to My Home" video. If that fails, they will re-enact Brendad's presentation (incorporating the improved commentary by Deven Green, of course).

Well, if r97 gets to have his collection, then I INSIST on bringing my collection of Longaberger Baskets!

Has anyone seen Anderson Cooper? Asking for a friend.

IS SIZZLINJEN IN THE SHELTER YET?

Volleyball net completed and plenty enough slippers for all. Thanks again, girls. Except for you two bitches Julie and Cheryl.

I've invited in Joan Steffend for a cheap 'n' cheerful makeover of the place.

I realize that this is wartime, and that we must all our part but REALLY. Is it too much to expect that first class stateroom attendants be proficient in English?

Edith 'Big Edie' Bouvier Beale: The cat's going to the bathroom right right in back of my portrait. Edith 'Little Edie' Bouvier Beale: God, isn't that awful? Edith 'Big Edie' Bouvier Beale: No, I'm glad he is. I'm glad somebody's doing something he wanted to do.

Can we cut the straight chicks? They're all so high maintenance.

Fuck that r108, without me here you guys would have no one to viciously judge except each other.

DO YOU WANT THAT THIS EARLY?

R108 Straight chicks also attract straight guys. How are we supposed to guess which straight guys are gay when we don't have any straight guys in the shelter?

Yeah, r110. Although, I can assure you that the guy I brought is straight. Brandon is just old fashioned, that's why we only have held hands so far. He's really excited for us to join you all!

Hey Lurleen, I ain't never fucked a fag up the ass, and you all keep telling me to find one when I do it to you and end up with thar big plop o shit on my dick. These gay boys clean themselves out for fuckin.

I Have No Hands, And I Must Slap

As a Fat Womyn, would I be useful on garbage detail? Or at least fallout insulation?

Will the shelter evacuees be seated according to class?

ACH!

NEIN JUDENS! NEIN!

No R115, they will be seated according to HOTNESS. Duh!

Attention! ATTENTION! This is Miss Shuster!

A swarm of ICBMs is heading this way!

Did everybody watch the orientation video and sign up for a workshift? If you haven't. please do so.

I'm telling you NOW so I don't have to tell you THEN.

I am a lesbian mom. Where is Concentration Camp Brother Sun?

how do you know their gender r120? you are literally murdering them by possibly misgendering them!

Do I get a choice of still or sparkling?

[quote]I've invited in Joan Steffend for a cheap 'n' cheerful makeover of the place.

*Looks around*

Newp. Fuck it. Just [italic]fuck it.[/italic] I'll take my chances with nuclear winter.

FUCK. IT.

*Leaves*

Can we bring kwanza cak and red dragon cheese?

r122 reminds me, who was in charge of bringing the lube?

Closing the fallout shelter door and locking it on all the tardy bitches ... with a PIVOT.

I told you: Life's not a great big bed of roses.

You queens hovering around me are going to ruin the dump dinner! No, I do not have any "fresh veggies" for you. There are no Michelin stars here. We're stocked with 400 lbs of canned goods and mixes, so I am doing the best I can. Now, get out of here until this shit congeals together or something.

We cannot use the radiation suits after holes have been poked in the rear. Also please refrain from wearing a caftan over the radiation suit.

I rebuke you, Miss Barrie Youngfellow.

There's been an air burst guys!

Huge EMP heading towards us, so no more Datalounge ever again.

Tasteful friends: what do you think of this decontamination shower?

ugh, the tile in it is so déclassé

I appreciate the bidets, and a whole row of them? Now that's hostessing.

What if we stack some books near it r132? Is it classy now?

Ooo, let's be the pinworms in R133's ass.

There is an 8' tall carrot at the west tunnel entrance. Should we let him in? He's hung like a mule...wait it is mule dick.

Matt Damon says he needs a wider bed. The nerve of that guy.

Goddammit, Cheryl. My cat is not to be used as your personal washrag.

I have the exclusive lube concession. Cheap See me in Suite 401

R139, is it organic and blessed by a shaman? If so, send three kegs to the lesbian yurt. It's strap-on night.

R137 Give him the damn bed. The guy knows how to grow potatoes!

OK r140. But none for Cheryl. How the hell did she get in here anyway?

Just thinking "Preventive Maintenance," here . . . We assume wall-mounted dispensers of our favorite antibiotics and antidepressants will be readily available?

Actually, R143, it slips very nicely into our holsters.

Isn't there something besides Joan Crawford reading "My Way of Life" that they could play over the audio system?

Why aren't these toe tags on letterpress card stock?

[quote] Matt Damon says he needs a wider bed.

Yeah, limousine liberals like him always want bigger everything at the expense of others. He's a hypocrite. He doesn't need a wider bed.

I formally invite the Kathy Glass Troll to be my roommate in the fallout shelter suite.

R126 is forbidden from entering the shelter.

[quote] I'm so disappointed about the whole not-having-TCM thing, they're having a. "Who Gives A Flying Fuck" marathon tonight.

Question mark. Oh, dear.

Why are the alarm lights jungle red?

[quote] There is a sign up sheet on the blast door for you to sign and commit to one dish for the potluck.

It's a soupluck not a potluck.

[quote] Is it Moose-friendly?

There are some industrial-sized ovens in Concentration Camp Brother Sun. I hear meese are good eating.

Some very kind, tall humanoids just joined our shelter community. Must be effects from radiation. They say they can cure all our ills. One of the carries a book called "To Serve Man". How nice and considerate! Isn't that considerate, Harold?

Guys! Your art is dangerous!

Dead moms are supposed to be affixed to the cracks in doorways where radiation is strongest. They are [bold]not[/bold] to be posed holding platters, supporting glass coffee table tops, or holding Miss Sissy Boodles mummified corpse!

Also, Elder Queens! Walkers are to be parked against the wall. Leave them unattended in the walkways and we'll affix your asses to the cracks in the doorways!

Oh no!!!! John is performing "autopsies" on living Thais and Filipinos! Someone stop him now!

Oh the humanity!

R154, it's A COOKBOOK!

Some stormfronters, Russian hackers and frauen are attempting to dig into the shelter via a shaft. How do we stop them from infiltrating our safe space?

Paul! Is there a Paul here? There's someone at the external intercom asking for you. Says her name is Nana.

Whose idea was it to bring two of every animal?

Entrance Criteria: Each DL-Fallout Shelter applicant shall be tested, in in-depth detail, on the goddesses' humble beginnings, dramatic heights, and most importantly, the memorable quotes from this historical work of art.

First question: Associate "Ted Casablanca," then and now.

My first cat was a shelter cat. I named her Bootsie Gum Drops.

They're endangered, Becka @ R160! Do you know how many zoo officials I had to slaughter to save these white rhinos? Do you?

There's already been a murder and I'm pretty sure it was Soft Butch Sous Chef aka Baggy Murderpants.

R162, have you ever had a cat? If so what was its name?

R165, my first cat was a shelter cat. I named her Bootsie Gum Drops.

[quote] Do you know how many zoo officials I had to slaughter to save these white rhinos?

Why didn't you just buy it?

CILANTRO is only allowed in the designated AREA (and that area is OUTSIDE)

Please come dine in the Vivian Vance Memorial Shelter Cafeteria.

And no fucking ARUGALA! It's a weed, people.

Who spilled the tea? Butch lesbian clean up crew to canteen #6 now.

So, we invited only ten people of color? Yes, Anthony, I'm including Italians in that number.

Way to go, you fucking racists.

Finally I know why the caged bird sings!

[quote] Yes, Anthony, I'm including Italians in that number.

Scaramucci or Rizzo?

The image of tunneling fraus trying to get in.

Della better have a room by the underground pool.

Masc Bros only at tea dance. 6pm at the Hole Bar level 2.

Will the Lido Deck be available for reservation-only afternoon tea?

R175, we posted two "masculine" sportsball-loving gays with Della. One is trying to crimp her hair.

[quote] Will the Lido Deck be available for reservation-only afternoon tea?

Only if you throw shade.

Is it true there's a Patty Duke wax museum on Subconcourse C?

. . .Oh, and the spa; let's talk about the spa.

[quote] Is it true there's a Patty Duke wax museum on Subconcourse C?

It's interactive though. You have to wear a blindfold. The goal is to recognize her by touch alone in all her great roles. Those two statues in the museum are hard to maintain with all the body oils with which they make contact.

Fank you! You fixted my extra thumbs.

Bai Ling is on the ceiling!

Should my husband and I occupy the elderly wing or the 30 something wing? We don't want to be separated.

The DL Players are doing music from FOLLIES !!!! Sunday night in the Broadway Bar. Not to be missed!

Did you hear what Brenton Thwaites tried to do when the invading Chinese paratroopers landed? He tried to camouflage himself against a pile of cardboard boxes. They discovered him anyway because of his distinct "milk" smell. Silly boy! The reeducation camps will teach him.

Follies!

Attention. Due to our proximity to Earth's magnetic core, the Caftans and Earrings Ball is delayed til we find a spatula wide enough to pry these old queens off the floor.

As of now I am in control here!

Will we be artificially inseminating the lesbians? Just asking before flushing my ass babies.

Guys, I really do need that wider bed. I'm serious. Can someone look into it, like right now? Great, thanks.

I found another person of color for our fallout shelter!

As a fat womon of color, will I be able to sign up for garbage detail?

Who ARE you, R192?

Lindsey's in the room next to me . He's been auditioning gentlemen callers all day. Christ he's a screamer. Anyone got a gag to spare?

Tragedy or Murder?

Jane Velez-Mitchell has been detained after a tragic dumpster dive gone wrong. While searching out scraps for a new soup recipe, shelter resident Velez-Mitchell apparently mistook Darphur Orphan for chicken bones, and promptly stewed him. There will be a memorial for Darfur Orphan after appetizers and before dinner. Velez-Mitchell had previously been banned fom the lesbian yurt at least a dozen times.

This place is driving me crazy. Thank God there's a Mary Poppins singalong after dinner.

To be clear, Jane Velez-Mitchell was banned from our yurt for no particular reason, but rather just because.

The next asshole who touches my MREs is gonna get cut.

r200, stale nutloaf does not qualify as an MRE.

Please don't forget to fill the tub with warm salt water, the Peruvian Mermaid Baby will be arriving at any minute and I want her to be comfortable!

Uh. There's some short boys in mermaid .... whatever they're called. Flopping their way to the entrance....

Jesus Christ! Shelter President Simon Halls strictly forbade to bring bags of oranges into the shelter! Look at First Man Matt Bomer, he's getting all wide eyed already!

Please do not share the secret handshake of the glorious Almighty Almiqui Cult with outsiders. We meet in the back of the Shelter's Once Around the Garden Food Court.

"Hello, DL! Is the thought of nuc-u-lar war making you stressed? Well forget yer troubles, c'mon, get happy, and join us in the corridor outside of the hydroponics lab for anxiety-relieving prancercise!

For tonite's entertainment Gay Porn Studio Cockyboys proudly presents a Cockyboys All-Star production of Death of A Salesman. Tomorrow; Sean Cody - Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

To all guests: please make an effort to eat a balanced diet as we've had some problems with our solid waste disposal unit getting cranky. As a reminder, Erna is fond of corn, and by having just one serving per week you will be doing your part to help keeping her happy. That is all.

To those who complained about my naked child presenting hole during the canned vegan dinner:

I am about to start calling out names and pictures of people who leave us bad reviews, especially when it deals with our children. You will no longer be allowed to come and dine in the DL fallout shelter. Especially when you lie about our babies. We do not need or want your business. Be our guest to go and eat at the other vegan fallout shelter down the street. This is going to be fun!!!! You’ve thoroughly irritated mama bear!!!!!!!!! We’re starting with that bottom wearing the caftan and earrings! For anyone who reads this and is instantly scared this might affect our business, I cannot begin to tell you how much we do not care. Haters are not welcome!

Everyone be silent. Ryan Seacrest is on the roof trying to get in and he's fat. Again.

Ever since the Internet went down the Millennials have entered into a Catatonic Zombie State! They're are slipping into comas by the hour!

They can only be revived when someone gives them small rectangular mirrors that seem to mimic cell phones!

R209 We were just nuked and are sitting in a Fallout Shelter with Erna, Cheryl, and Matt. Do you really think anyone cares about your precious spawn running around naked and pooping allover the place?

Some people are really not getting the severity of this...... Did this guy just strain the pasta? NO PASTA STRAINING, EVER!

I know a handsome and talented actor who is veryaimly deserving of a spot in the shelter.

I know a handsome and talented actor who is certainly deserving of a spot in the shelter.

[quote]When we don't have any straight guys in the shelter?

The DL shelter is a bro-free zone. You can only bro outside and you have to bro at least 10 metres away from the entrance.

Will all of you quiet down. I'm trying to listen to my stories.

The lottery for being Aaron Rodgers roomie will be held in the mess hall after chow, any with interest poetry asked not to participate.

And he lottery is only limited to women. Because I'm straight. Yeah - straight.

Will there be a dedicated tchotchke preservation area?

Will the vintage gay porn be kept in a vacuumed sealed archival vault?

Where will the lesbians store their picnic tables and checkered tablecloths for their crab-boils?

[quote] [R200], stale nutloaf does not qualify as an MRE.

Are you kidding me, R201? It's got the official government seal right there. I don't care if it looks like a My Little Pony sticker with 'MRE' written on it.

[quote] stale nutloaf does not qualify as an MRE.

What food have we got? Let me see. Ah, yes. Nutloaf. And look - more nutloaf! I don't usually hold with foreign food, but this dykish stuff, it's not bad.

My cot is adjacent to that of that swarthy Brenton Thwaites creature. How ever shall I sleep? His kind are supposed to be downstairs or on a much lower deck.

You have entered the new man hole. Experienced evacuees, you know what to do.

R166, have you ever had a cat? What did you name it?

'My soda crackers have a moldy smell and Becky's eye just fell out again"! DADDY!!!!

Once the rectal bleeding stops ( the smell is intense) and Daddy had the generator working, we will watch this on the port. DVD player..

[quote] My soda crackers have a moldy smell

Make sure you're not bunked next to Cheryl.

This shelter is useless without a Fibromyalgia Support group! Tender to the touch 'n all.

Where are my Gays?

Dear inhabitants. Please respect your elderly and those in need of assistance. Except Julie, she's a cunt.

[quote] Matt Damon says he needs a wider bed. The nerve of that guy.

Why does Matt need a wider bed?

Oh, FANK you! You fixded my radiation shield!

Dad! Why did you fill ours' in? Huh? Daddy?

Uh oh..bringing down the fresh water, batteries, candles and K Rations...where's Spot?! Pussy?

Ok, bitches, which one of you stole my can of frosting?

We've come a long way...Not!

ATTENTION, YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.

A BRIEF ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE DATALOUNGE SUNDAY BRUNCH COMMITTEE:

We regret to inform you that Crêpes Suzette will NOT be served at the grand opening celebration. All orders for Crêpes Suzette have been suspended until further notice. We encourage our patrons to enjoy other selections to be presented as planned, including our proprietary Arugula and Pistachio Pesto Quiche and our exclusive rendition of Hangtown Fry. Thank you for your support and cooperation.

Hello, R224. My first cat was a shelter cat. I named her Bootsie Gum Drops.

[quote]We regret to inform you that Crêpes Suzette will NOT be served at the grand opening celebration. All orders for Crêpes Suzette have been suspended until further notice. We encourage our patrons to enjoy other selections to be presented as planned, including our proprietary Arugula and Pistachio Pesto Quiche and our exclusive rendition of Hangtown Fry. Thank you for your support and cooperation.

R237, But what about my Pancakes Barbara?!? How am I supposed to move forward without Pancakes Barbara?

What part of "Once Around the Garden" don't you fatasses understand?

Dammit, this isn't kale, it's turnip greens. Julie, you really are a bitch.

R239, please remain calm. The pancake bar will open and proceed as scheduled. Check your local listings for topping preferences and availability,

Jerry, let's not ask for the moon, when we have...radiation

No cak. No graxy. No Red Dragon Cheddar. Not even a goddam slice of Michfest Nut-loaf.

Fuck this shit, I'd rather die of radiation poisoning.

Has the Presidential Suite been taken?

Do we have enough frozen cheesecakes to hold us over until the first DL shelter bakery opens?

I have yummy 2mg Xanax bars for all of us, queens!

I named my cat SPAZ because he was flailing and ugly.

He won't be coming to the Shelter with me. Let him take his chance out there.

Can I sell my place and buy a zoo?

You are all cordially reminded to pick up after yourself and not clutter up the entrance to your particular pod door with bric-a-brack, knick-knacks, or rubbish. Clinical tests have proven that neater homes are engulfed last in thermonuclear blasts, so tidy up!

I assume entrance into the DataLounge Fallout Shelter will give preference to Swarthmore College Theta Chi Sorority graduates, n'est-ce pas?

Paging Damon, Matt. Damon, Matt to Level 5E for observation, inspection, interrogation and probing.

Whoever told Lance Bass to keep his head between his knees is a sick individual.

I can never hold my head between my legs for very long...for some reason....

Matt Damon's wide-bed needs - why?

There is another DL shelter R87, but its invite only.

Who allowed the fucking spaz troll into the shelter?

Which one of you bitches thought these buckets would be a good idea? I hope you have multiple shovels, with one labeled clearly - use for latrine only!

Sorry toots, those spots are reserved for Tommy and Gio.

Who's bunking with AIKC?

Who's is charge of rationing the lube? I DEMAND an increase!

[quote]We regret to inform you that Crêpes Suzette will NOT be served at the grand opening celebration. All orders for Crêpes Suzette have been suspended until further notice.

Were they soggy? Did they not flame? (Unlike many of the residents?)

R231 and R255, because he has a

Have we already addressed this question?

Happy hour at the shelter!

I'm prelubed and ready to go! Meet me under the Lido deck at midnight!

Jesus. Why the hell is Zsa Zsa Gabor's leg in the freezer? Has one of you bitches had that with you this whole time?

Miss Lingus. Miss Connie Lingus. Please pick up the white courtesy phone.

[quote] Miss Connie Lingus

Connie?

Well where exactly are we meant to keep it r267? On the dining table? In the pantry? Of course, it's on the freezer.

Matt Damon's wife FINALLY made it here. Apparently she got a little too cocky racing Mitch McConnell and took several naps along the way. She's going to dice carrots for tonight's soup, so I don't want you bitches saying anything cross towards her! You already sent Rumer out of here in hysterics last night.

I love you, R271.

Matt Damon's rabbit-faced wife. Tehe.

[quote] You already sent Rumer out of here in hysterics last night.

How did that happen? Dod someone say "Why the long face?" or asked her whether she knew Mary Shelley personally?

[quote] You already sent Rumer out of here in hysterics last night.

How did that happen? Did someone say "Why the long face?" or asked her whether she knew Mary Shelley personally?

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Acid Raine

Who set up the "gym"? There's a manual treadmill and a step-stool with "Stairstepper" written on it in crayon. And don't even get me started on the shower.

I had heard that DL demographics skewed older, but this is ridiculous. Is there another gay shelter? The overabundance of people in their 20s is too much to bear.

Zsa Zsa's leg is for Show & Tell tomorrow.

OK, pervs. Which one of you designed the men's shower room?

It's more peepholes and gloryholes than walls!

What's in the adjacent wing?

Who's in the adjacent wing?

I don't know why the lesbians want to claim the mezzanine level as a safe space when it would make a perfect spot for T Dance. I'm organizing a sit-in to protest

I've noticed there are 230 tiles on my room's floor as opposed to the 280 tiles in Dahvide's room. Also, his room has a view of the tomato hydro-grow while mine is of a creepy purple cinder block wall. Now, I love Dahvide with all my heart, but he is a very tiny pocketgay with god awful taste.

Whom do I speak to so that we may exchange rooms without Dahvide's input?

Signups for the Talent Show are conducted today and tomorrow. Please specify any special needs for props, music or lighting, and list cultural references or in-jokes.

The Frau wing will be serving jello mold salad, REAL fucking potato salad, and some Bingo realness. Everyone invited.

Please STOP drilling glory holes in the airlock door and fellating the mutated radiation creatures.

R288, as long as we jamb the hands of dead moms in the holes afterwards, everybody's safe and happy.

It's NOT a caftan. It's a kimono.

Sign above the door of the Shelter: Datalounge Fallout Shelter

written underneath: This is why we can't have nice things!

Please don't feed the Broadway extras. They need to perform.

Sign placed of the EXIT sign: Anti Trans Troll Wing

Sign placed over the Warning sign (Warning: Chasm on the other side of Door): Alt Right Troll Refuge Center

A Reminder: The DataLounge Pneumatic Ejection Tube is designed to eliminate rescue-pet fecal matter. It is NOT designed to handle knick-nacks and fashion accessories you despise.

Shooting Bing & Grondahl or Lladro figurines at the Jesus Save Us Fallout Shelter only makes it stronger.

Due to popular demand we change the current morning song (Madame Butterfly's un bel di - One Beautiful Day) to Flashdance's What A Feeling. Happy morning.

What are the sleeping arrangements? Can I bring my nephew? He's straight and very well built.

I'm sick of sitting in here with the twinks doing runway & the caftan crowd fighting over apostrophes and pasta draining! It's time to unleash our biological weapons against their nuclear warfare:

Let's open the door and push Cheryl out pussy first!

My favorite nephew has his Legos in tow, and I can live without TCM if there's MeTV. But whose idea was it to mount the flat screen over the kerosene heater? Did none of Tasteful Friends survive the initial impact?

I was pleasantly surprised to see that the DL shelter has a doorman. I've left him a note...

There's too much macrame. Who's I need charge of interior decoration?.... EVERYONE?? Oh dear.

BILL TAYLOR! BILL TAYLOR!

WHITE COURTESY TELEPHONE!

Attending a post-nuclear event at DLagio fallout shelter/baked potato bar, I needed to use the Women's Restroom. In the middle of using the toilet, I saw a huge flood of NORTH KOREAN ICBMs flooding my stall from the one next to it. My brand new Satin lead-lined high heels and large X-Ray blocking cloth bag were immediately covered in the filthy warheads. I finished as quickly as possible and went to the decontamination room. The smell from Cheryl's panties was horrific....

....to be continued

Let's bring back the Fern Bar.

As long as it has unending graxy and cak.

A harp playing eldergay can NOT be the only acceptable music in here, as charming as he might be.

We need more options.

Discussing the inconsistencies of the Golden Girls in confined spaces like this one? Are you crazy????

Remember: The Datalounge Shelter is NOT a hotel! There are no additional free towels available.

Please don't hold up the line at the food service station with your "Please sir, could I have some more?" Oliver Twist impressions. It's not funny anymore.

Signed by the meal service team.

On today's agenda: How to keep your bunk bed nice and tidy. With Martha Stewart

On tomorrow's agenda: Poppers, what is it good for? Absolutely everything! With Martha Stewart

Please note that that any kind of worship is strictly forbidden in the Datalounge Shelter. The only exception is the Golden Girls Shrine in Section B12.

There is no need to throw shade in the Datalounge Shelter. We are already in the shade.

Can we have a serious discussion about the nutloaf situation? Those things are hard as bricks. I've put things with more moist up my ass than that criminal offense that it called nutloaf around here.

Please join our lesbian sisters in their daily hunt for underground vermin to keep this Shelter nice and rodent free.

Signed, the "Squirrels. Death" Squad

ATTENTION, ATTENTION!

The drill for preparing for the arrival of Miss Ross will start in 15 minutes. We will spend the first 10 minutes of it practicing diverting our eyes to avoid eye contact with her; we will then spend the following 10 minutes running through the emergency procedures for evacuating the communal showers in record time in order to ensure her privacy in said facility; and the final 10 minutes will focus on the emergency drill of evacuating the DL Starlight Garden Court to ensure Miss Ross and her entourage are able to dine in privacy.

One more thing, we still do not have enough Volunteer Food Tasters for this project.

[quote]Please note that that any kind of worship is strictly forbidden in the Datalounge Shelter.

Even MUSCLE worship? This is an OUTRAGE!

[R2] They last forever!

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

Now that we have successfully completed the daily drills to prepare for Miss Ross' arrival, all DL Fallout Shelter occupants shall assemble in the DL compound cafeteria in 30 minutes for the disbursement of the regulatory DL Fallout Shelter jumpsuits. In order to avoid the transfer of bacteria into the DL general population, the wearing of white undergarments during said disbursement process is required.

Note: the adornment or alteration of individual jumpsuits, in any manner, shall be acknowledged as a formal DL Fallout Shelter code violation per Miss Ross' occupancy requirements.

My bunkmate is a gargoyle!

So I found the gym facilities. Priorities bitches.

[quote]My bunkmate is a gargoyle!

Hmm. Now that you mention it, where is the smoking section? And have suitable ledges been provided?

Stock up on HoHos and Twinkies.

They have a shelf life of 20+ years!

Can't I just have a twinkie ho?

R318, isn't that the Lesbian workout equipment?

Attention All DL Fallout Shelter Guests,

Please be advised that the cardboard fireplace is provided as a courtesy to our guests to elicit holiday cheer during these troubled times. The next "tasteful friend" who snickers and complains about it to management will find my cha cha heel up her ass.

I'm fawwwwwcked!

My mother has found out about this glorious sanctuary of refuge! In addition to her wanting to join, she also wants to bring my dad!

I am, therefore, at the mercy of the DL Fallout Shelter Board of Admissions: Puh-lease, Puh-lease make them take the admission's test, as described in R161! They'll never pass the exam; I promise my DL card on this fact!)

I'd like to apply for admission, but the thought of sharing a shower with Erna, Poo Shoes, and the parents? Nope. Mutations might just improve me.

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

All DL-ers, the following is a personal safety statement from "Julie":

"Do NOT touch my fucking bike!"

So far I've counted 12,358 tiles on the ceiling, 4,568 tiles on the floor, 226 cots, 389 twinkies and 157 HoHo's. 2 gargoyles, 1 half-open Queen Helene mint julep mask, 78 caftans, 12 nephews, 1 stale nutloaf, 1 Kimodo dragon, 5678 bottoms, 1000 dildos, 530 Always maxi pads, 558 earrings, 2-55 gallon drums of lube, 1 copy of Prancercize, 1 shelter cat known as Bootsie Gumdrops. Fank you DL for the shelter!

Robert Repulveda is here!

He's saving up his dick cheese for y'all to eat when the dried food runs out.

Can someone help me find my Shit Bra?

Will Kevin Lanflisi entertain us with a poetry reading?

I've already posted about using dead moms to block radiation. It is truly sad and I am sorry for those who have lost their very dead moms.

With several gaps in less popular entranceways, we still desperately need bodies to absorb any radiation. They need not be completely dead! I've provided a live feed to the Christian Broadcast News channel, bowls of cheezy chips, as well a curated collection of tiny, fragile chairs at key spots should any of our larger members wish to stop by.

How about this Rodgers/Lanflisi erotic fanfic I've been working on instead?

Dead moms are awfully decorative, don'tcha think?

They're top drawer. Really top drawer.

I did warn you.

I love you, R335.

Hey, I have CD player and some Richard Simmons workout tapes about Dancing to the Oldies!

Yes R260, who shall bunk with me, AIKC?

My one and only stipulation is that my bunk mate not snore like sasquatch (or smell like him!)

Don't even think of leaving me off the list. I'm a nurse, I'm a top (with a decent sized dick, and I've got some good drugs. So?

PS: I prefer the top bunk (and sexual position).

Then how'd ya like to split me muff, R336?

Madam Begger Woman, you were allowed entry based upon your promised valuable services of fortune telling, horoscope creation, and feng shui.

If you do not put your cooter away, I'll stuff your gnomish body into the exterior glory hole near Ross Dress Fot Less.

I'm still waiting on my fucking creme brûlée!

People, please stop trying to feed the Darfur orphan. He's just a troll looking for attention.

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

There will be a Tarot Card reading tomorrow evening, Sunday, 6:00p; it will be hosted by The Lovely and Talented Shirley Maclaine.

Caftans and earrings are required.

Almost everyone I've talked to says, "We're going to move to the Datalounge Fallout Shelter." What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay there. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the bitchery!

And so many of the people in the fallout shelter here, you know, were underprivileged anyway. So this is working very well for them.

[quote] And so many of the people in the fallout shelter here, you know, were underprivileged anyway.

True.

I will need one suite for me and one for my luggage. I do not sleep in my clothes, nor do I sleep with them.

I'm afraid I'll have to take all those rations off of your hands, this is wartime and I'm acting as an elected official. Also, you'll have to find another shelter, I'm an elected official and will need all your space for my family. Also, knockoff the jokes about how I'm so fat I can save the planet by soaking up all the radiation, I have HAD it with the jokes!

Anybody up for Babysitting?

R347, where the fuck was that scary GIF of Chris Christie taken? He looks so uncomfortable!

Where's the Posh happy hour now please? Is it true it's now going to be in the shelter? Who's in charge of decorations? The bar?

Can we go back to having Tequila Sunrise happy hours at the cocktail lounge? I miss the 70s so much!

Looks like I'm here just in time to help deal with the unruly brats. You know who I'm talking about.

R323 - And what's a holiday season without someone making a Kwanzaa cake?

[r348] I would like to suggest Mrs. Patrick Campbell.

Yes, no warmer than 100 degrees, delicately scented, every evening, 7:00p. Filtered water, only. White bath sheets, 100-percent cotton, plush.

Attention: There will be a shirtless flag football game on the lower-level mezzanine, after the "Once around the Olive Garden" follies conclude. Please see a Mr. K. Lanflisi for hotness ... I mean safety, inspection prior to the game.

Note: pants are optional.

By the way, dahling, the spa tub arrangements are for Miss Zeta-Jones; NOT Miss Ross.

I have to say the First Datalounge Fallout Shelter Potluck was a disappointment. Everyone brought dump cakes and aspic salad. I had to send Manuel to the Datalounge Pharmacy for a dose of Bromo-Seltzer.

I will be giving a reading of my work after lights out over the PA system. Hopefully this will relax us all. My door is always open.

[quote] I have to say the First Datalounge Fallout Shelter Potluck was a disappointment.

It's a soupluck not a potluck.

The "Dress Like Your Favorite Golden Girl" contest and pageant has been rescheduled. See the bulletin board for details.

I smuggled Slee and Dee Dee Halls in using a large laundry cart.

And Lucille Ball was going to join us but Gary Morton talked her out of it.

Ginny in billing will be cooking a turkey in the Sylvia Plath memorial oven this Sunday. Be sure to let her know if you want some.

Apparently in Manuel-ese "Bromo-Seltzer" means a pack of spearmint gum, a box of Magnum condoms.

You can bunk with me, AIKC.

[quote] I-am-not-an-animal! - Christmas Moose

[quote] Actually, yes you are. - Friend or Christmas Moose

Q. Is it Moose-friendly?

A. There are some industrial-sized ovens in Concentration Camp Brother Sun. I hear meese are good eating.

That's not a very nice thing to say, R153.

I'm sad to report our first case of cholera.

[quote] I'm sad to report our first case of cholera.

Is Cheryl the Patient X or Thyphoid Mary! of the shelter?

No leading H in typhoid.

I have a working VCR and a giant box of Star Trek:TNG VHS tapes. It's party time!

Everyone invited!

[quote] BYOB, I'm not running a hotel here.

For that I'll have you ejected into space!

Where's the leather santa suit for the "Christmas at Ground Zero" spectacular?

[quote]I have a working VCR and a giant box of Star Trek:TNG VHS tapes. It's party time!

You could have warned us people were cosplaying. I thought someone let Brent Spiner into the shelter!

[quote]Miss Constance McCashin -- any Hostess products up in this doublewide?

Does "doublewide" refer to your ass or the rusty old trailer where this is being held?

R198 has been thrown out of the shelter for trying to start shit. You are hereby banished from the shelter along with that vile bit of hate speech. Anyone else who tries that will also be fucking banished.

The singalong will be from [italic]Bedknobs and Broomsticks[/italic]. If you don't know the songs, fucking learn them. In fact, the password will be "Treguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis Dee" to keep tasteless pricks like you out.

R198 has been thrown out of the shelter for trying to start shit. You are hereby banished from the shelter along with that vile bit of hate speech. Anyone else who tries that will also be fucking banished.

The singalong will be from [italic]Bedknobs and Broomsticks[/italic]. If you don't know the songs, fucking learn them. In fact, the password will be "Treguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis Dee" to keep tasteless pricks like you out.

R198 has been thrown out of the shelter for trying to start shit. You are hereby banished from the shelter along with that vile bit of hate speech. Anyone else who tries that will also be fucking banished.

The singalong will be from [italic]Bedknobs and Broomsticks[/italic]. If you don't know the songs, fucking learn them. In fact, the password will be "Treguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis Dee" to keep tasteless pricks like you out.

Only [italic]Bedknobs[/italic] fans are allowed in the shelter. Haters are not welcome and will be left to die in the fallout like you deserve.

And anyone who tries to pit [italic]Golden Girls[/italic] fans against [italic]Designing Women[/italic] fans will go with them.

This is the alarm that will go off in case of anti-gay hate speech.

Since "Mary" is an outdated and offensive slang term for a gay man, and to pop someone means to hit them, R198 has been banished from the shelter for good. If it wasn't for the likes of you, such a shelter wouldn't be necessary.

This will be what we sing along to when R198 dies from exposure to fallout.

This is what the menu will be:

This will also be part of the singalong for the celebration of R198's death:

I am also proud to announce that the cult of jenn-durr has been banished completely from the fallout shelter.

I swear I saw Aaron Schock and Adam Kinzinger skulking around the thrid-level mezzanine.

Is that R386 pounding on the door to get back in or is that a walrus having a seizure?

I'm a Tumblr Womyn and already your talk about dead moms being used as a shield for the radiation has triggered me, I'll have you know many childless dead Womyn led amazing and productive lives without being moms, why don't they get to be shields?

I've brought a petition I will pass around to change the name of "Ho-Ho's" to "Classy Yums". Let's not slut shame the baked goods, let's be better than that.

This nucular radiation worries me. Are we really going to protected in the shelter? I worry we might mutate. What will DLer mutants be like?

Will we discard our caftans for board shorts? Will we stop watching the GG and start tuning into Monday night football? Will the odor of our sweaty manpits and Cheryl change? Prefer G to M?

Will we become *clutch pearls* NORMAL??

Could someone take an inventory of our supply of hormone pills? Make sure to analyze the data for the girl kind and the boy kind. Cross-reference that against the expected tranny population and their needs.

If we get this wrong, things could go south. FAST.

[quote] Are we really going to protected in the shelter?

I think we're relatively safe, except maybe R265 who insisted on a window room.

Is Mike Hunt in here? Has anybody seen Mike Hunt??

These giant portraits of Muriel plastered on every wall are a bit too reminiscent of Iraq during the Hussein regime, dont'cha think?

Dear DL Shelters, it's day four of our 1,500 days stay ... AND I ALREADY HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!

Yes, the internet is still for porn. Don't waste your online minutes on something else like checking what's going on outside the shelter.

R395 How else am I supposed to get the latest radioactive mutant gossip?

We have found an old film in the storage area. A showing of "The Flying Fucklings Of 1934" will be in the main mess hall at 8pm.

R394...the first DL fall out shelter serial killer.

I need a red pageboy wig and a green turtleneck sweater. The need to tap is coming over me.

Does anyone know the signs of radiation sickness? Lately I've noticed my hips are filling my caftan out in a more womanly manner and I've been having weird thoughts involving my nephew.

R400 that's not radiation poisoning, silly. You're just an old fashioned pervert.

Get out the protective gear! Cheryl's pussy has mutated due to radiation exposure!

This shelter to shelter 'party'line sucks. Phyllis and Marvin over in Bunker 13 are the shitz!

Speaking of which..anyone with an odor eliminator idea? Charcoal is low.

Stephanie Miller was on the wind-up radio...she, the dogs, and Frangella made it! Hope they don't eat Max.

These iodine tablets are addictive.

OMG! Corbin Fisher survived.. Love Atomico's solo!! Hope they find him a partner

Since we're all going to die, I'm stacking books and curating tableaus of shiny things I've liberated. You can't stop me.

Who's appearing in the Liberace Memorial Piano Bar this evening? Time for drinkies and showtunes!

Please do NOT let Jabba in! Who would share a bed with her?

Suzanne Somers isn't bringing all that shit she sells with her, is she? And she'd better be telling the truth about not passing gas anymore. If she's lying I don't wanna be anywhere around when she starts using that damn ButtMaster!

It's been forever and I'm bored. They won't even let me use water to clean my linens - because it's rationed. What am I supposed to do? Wash them in vodka?

May we send a few of the larger people up to have a look-see?

I've only been here 30 minutes and I've already been molested.

Joey molested you, Lorna? That's what you get for bedazzling his ass one too many times.

Tim Gunn, I love you to death but after two months in the shelter with you I have to tell you: If you say "Make It Work" one more time I'm gonna smother you in your sleep!

Where's Andre?

Mutant on the land!

Everyone is cordially invited to visit the Post-Apocalyptic Womyn's Empowerment Group's art gallery located along the walls of the dead end corridor perpendicular to the mushroom fields in level 14. While unable to display selected pieces from Margaret Keane's "Champions of Saphos!" series of big-eyed lesbian heroes done as day-glo velvet paintings as hoped, tonight's exhibition is called "Vaginal Dentata." VD is a fascinating collection of sketches of womyn's genitalia as drawn by gay men. Complimentary non-alcoholic champagne, gluten-free nutloaf, and creamy human breast milk cheese will be served.

Someone wants to know if a Dick Hertz is in this section. Who's Dick Hertz?

If I see the Idiot Libertarian Troll, I'm going to bonk him on the head and take all his gold coins.

Wait, you still upload selfies on instagram? Do you know why we are in this shelter? Uh, ok. *rolling eyes*

Julian Assange has asked for asylum. Apparently the Equadorians are getting tired of him. Can we vote on this? Incidentially, he's got great gossip about almost everyone.

Is this where you go when you have a falling-out with your family of origin? It's kind of cramped in here.

Is this the shelter where a man goes up into another man?

[quote] Apparently the Equadorians are getting tired of him.

Are they in the adjacent shelter?

This fallout shelter is being held in one of the dock warehouses in NYC, right?

Do these radiation burns make my pores look smaller?

Tthommhass, I can feel the springs of your eight-way hand-tied upholstery through the horsehair.

I think you should venture up and bring back a plain foam insert for the chair. And bring some chia seeds and buffalo grass vodka back while you're out.

This is Lawrence. He guards the stuff we keep in the orange bins. Please don't call him Larry. It always puts him in such a snit. He prefers we use his official title "Guard Bear One."

We try to humor him. We might need that orange bin stuff some day.

ATTENTION! The unthinkable has finally happened. The lesbians' periods have synchronized. There's been 10 casualties so far already. We must locate to a new shelter, but we want to breathe in as little outdoor air as possible (we all know what happened to the cast of The Conqueror).

I want you to go as quietly as possible. Do not make a sound until I tell you to run. Then run as quickly as you can. Does everybody understand?

How hard can it be to outrun a bunch of crab-walking lesbians?

They now walk on walls and very sturdy ceilings. If you're using one of the betterbathrooms, you may notice a woman marking down the number of sheets you use as well as the number of flushes. They were concerned about your hand washing.

The Porta Janes are overflowing. We are in crisis mode.

betterbathrooms

Attention! Attention! This is Miss Shuster. Please listen very carefully. A swarm of killer bees is coming this way.

R433, meet R58 and R118.

Not to worry R431, we've got the crew on the way.

R435, are they lining up to take their monrning shit?

This place has really gone to hell, I don't know why I stay, too many mutant trolls. Just not what it used to be. I have a notion to just pack up and leave for good! I'm going to leave, you know! I really just might do it this time!

Are there cookies and bourbon? First things first!

ATTENTION, ATTENTION!

The "DL Flamethrowers" discussion panel begins in 30 minutes in The Data Lounge Room.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Pretty Girls Data! Who wants to join me in some wundy wine and marvy runway modeling?

Fake news! There was no nuclear thingy, you are bigly wrong. Everyone is telling me, I'm hearing this everywhere, it's so nice outside, Thanks! Sad DL! I'm off to enjoy some golf.

My macadamia nut allotment is short three pieces and somebody has watered down my gordon's ration.

Wund is love.

Is that REALLY Wundy? Oh, my heart.

xoxoxoxo

For the last time—-is Mike Hunt here? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?

Can I stay in the fallout shelter? Just as long as you supply me with some teen boys

No. We just sprayed for Kevin Spacey last week.

At last!

The glorious, Lawvlay, Lawvlay, young gentlemen, representing the DL Fallout Shelter Maintenance Engineering Division, have just delivered my highly-coveted mini fridges for storing my "Ingenue '34' Facial Serums."

[quote] Is that REALLY Wundy? Oh, my heart.

No. The last time I recall her posting was about a year and a half to two years ago.

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

Our DL sanctuary is on High Alert! The DL Security Division is reporting The Datalounge Fallout Shelter has been detected!

Official Shut-down of the DL Entrance will commence in 1 hour-10 seconds . . . and counting . . .

Hold me, I'm scared.

Meet up on the z boards.

Zata/lounge

The Z board is Erna & Tybee 24/7, why would we go there?

Isn't there a DL subreddit?

Bump as everything has gone gray! I can't see a thing, I'm blinded! Oh good god who the hell let in Kevin Spacey?

I'd rather swim in Fukishima water and snort yellow cake uranium than live in this shelter with you fuckers.

I just saw there's a 24 hr Bedknobs and whatever marathon, hosted by you=know-who, and think I'd just as soon face my eternal oblivion.

Have the Hawaiians arrived?

Will it accommodate a moose?

Can I massage my butthole in here?

Knock-knock! Anybody home? I heard this was a good location for sheltering in place!