What I have learned from having sex with ‘straight’ guys
Flings with ‘curious’ guys on their way to being straight, bi or gay have taught Topher Gen some important lessons When someone mentions their sexuality do you automatically put them into specific categories: ‘gay,’ ‘lesbian’, ’bi’ or ‘straight’? Or do you, like me, blur the lines and believe that a person’s sexuality defies categories?
Do you think these groups we place people in will one day cease to exist and sexuality will be fluid, unlimited and not boxed into one teeny-weeny category?
As much as I believe that society is now accepting homosexuality, there is still a lingering matter that no one really cares to touch upon. It is the sensitive, particularly for males, topic of bi-curiosity.
Whether they like to admit it or not, some guys will at one point in their life harbor same-sex tendencies.
The point of this article is not to bash guys that are, or have been, curious. Instead I want to open up discussion and examine the stigma attached to heterosexual males who have ‘experimented’ or had ‘experiences’ with another guy.
I’ll be honest here; I’ve been a guys ‘test dummy’ more than a couple of times in the past. The reason I refer to it so crudely and cheaply is because after these affairs were conducted, that’s how I was made to feel. That’s how the straight party felt about it: It was cheap, maybe even dirty.
That response is, while not universal, fairly common. So this topic will likely conjure up some uncomfortable feelings with some people. But we should address it all the same.
Why does society give a ‘curious’ guy such a beating should they experiment with another man? I’ve seen it happen: Rumors fly and the heterosexual, who perhaps is teetering on the edge bisexuality, is branded a ‘poof’ and ridiculed which makes them ashamed of their feelings.
Yet if he were to simply come out as gay, nobody would bother as much. So why do males feel the need to mock their peers for simply expressing feelings that they, those that do the mocking, have likely felt themselves?
It seems like a faux-masculine cover up to assert themselves as the alpha male. But to my mind, the guy that made the brave choice to experiment, knowing full well the possible consequences, is actually the most masculine of the lot. He is strong enough to resist society’s pressures.
As much as I pity those who struggle with their orientation and have suffered abuse from the pack of drooling, narrow-minded bigots they call peers, there are some guys that really don’t handle it the right way.
I’ve seen myself cut off, lied about; I’ve had transparent and cowardly excuses tossed at me ‘I was just messing around’ and ‘I was just teasing you’ and, my personal favorite, ‘I was drunk, I don’t really remember it.’
As I said, I know it can be hard, but at the same time some of you guys need to grow a pair of balls and not treat the gay party in your experiment like a piece of garbage.
