How would "The Golden Girls" be different if Judy Garland had lived to play Dorothy?

Rose wouldn't have been the one with the prescription medication problem.

The other girls would have come into the kitchen for late night cheesecake and find Dorothy's head in the oven.

Miss Ann Miller as Barbara Thorndyke!

There would be repeated late night discussions about Dorothy's children -- the oldest one keeps bringing home gay boys, the second one keeps claiming to have been molested, and the youngest keeps painting the lanai blue.

Lorna and Joey would have played Kate and Michael.

I don't see Judy as Dorothy. Bea Arthur was perfect with her glares at Rose. Judy wouldn't have pulled that off.

Judy would have to play Rose.

Stan would have left Dorothy for her brother Phil.

Dorothy would be found dead on the toilet from an overdose of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome pills.

The Walt Disney World stock footage would have been of the Great Movie Ride instead of Space Mountain.

Who would play Stan? Ray Bolger? Jules Munshin? And what would happen when Mickey Rooney guests?

I agree with R6. Check your premises, OP.

Mr. Ha-Ha would have sang "Be A Clown."

They would've used a LOT less fabric for her costumes.

Mr. Gordon would've been played by Jack Haley.

Lucille Bremer would have come out of retirement to play Dorothy's sister.

Judy would have played Blanche, former showgirl and still hot-to-trot. Could you imagine Liza as Rebecca?

[quote]Could you imagine Liza as Rebecca?

I can imagine her as both Fat Rebecca and Skinny Rebecca.

If I have a sleep over with Rose's daughter, can we play with Clay Doh? I like Clay Doh, especially the blue type.

The last episode would have had her marrying Coco the gay ex-housekeeper from the pilot.

Judy definitely would've stayed on for the sequel, since she always enjoyed playing the Palace.

Pussycat and Ma would have been the same height.

THOSE SONS AH BITCHES.

"Picture it: Grand Rapids, Minnesota!"

[quote]Pussycat and Ma would have been the same height.

You mean my parents are my real parents after all?

Lana Turner would have played Blanche.

Sid Luft would have guest shots as Stan (that yutz).

Hold it! You three dirty hams! Let that little girl in there! Let her in there!'

She'd still depend on those Red Slippers--vodka, triple sec and cranberry.

She and Uncle Angelo would duet on "Get Happy."

Well, you're all sure trying, but none of this is funny at all. It's a dopey premise, but I guess we had to try it out to see. This dog won't hunt.

R29: Were you one of the same ones bitching in this thread, to which the current one is a sequel?:

What did Parallel Universe Judy do during the 16 years between her not dying and the premiere of [italic]Parallel Universe Golden Girls[/italic]?

Summer stock. Not the movie-- summer stock.

[quote]Summer stock. Not the movie-- summer stock.

She'd probably do a disco album, too.

Well, not too long before Golden Girls, Judy was arrested for slapping a civil servant who wasn't being "helpful" in renewing Judy's passport. Judy got off with a fine and holed herself up in her New York apartment for about a year.

Prior to that, she was playing Atlantic city and doing telethons. A lot of telethons.

Yes, the Kurt Weill disco album didn't go down to well. Still, the AFTER DARK shoot was fun.

I meant down2well.

How long would Parallel Universe Judy actually live?

She'd be the new Luise Rainer at DL.

The OP obviously is playing with the name "Dorothy."

Personally I would rather have seen Margaret Hamilton play Dorothy. Billie Burke could have done Rose. Bert Lahr could have been Blanche. And Sophia could have been a variety of the Munchkin actresses, taking turns.

Judy definitely would have been on "The Love Boat" and "Dynasty" in the 80s.

Bea Arthur would've been free to play Edna Garrett in the Facts of Life movie, with Valerie Harper as Jo Polniaczek and Della Reese as Tootie.

Directed by Martin Milner, who's not the breadwinner, either...

Judy would have never shown up for the tapings, and been replaced by Susan Hayward.

It would have been cancelled after two episodes.

[quote]Judy would have never shown up for the tapings, and been replaced by Susan Hayward.

Then that speech Dorothy gives to Sophia before she married Max Weinstock actually [bold]would[/bold] be from [italic]I Want to Live![/italic]

I love Judy, she was funny and could've succeeded on a sitcom, providing she'd gotten dried out, and kicked the pills. But it'd have to be more like an Auntie Mame part, she was too sophisticated and worldly to play any of the GGs. I wouldn't have wanted to see her play just some old lady living in Miami.

No respect. So Datalounge.

Coco the gay cook would have made it past the pilot.

Dorothy would have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome from the get-go (the pilot episode) and there would have been no inconsistencies, since from then on until the end of the last season, she would only have appeared in about every fourth episode slurring through her lines.

She would of course have rolled her eyes to Rose's St-Olaf stories but her eyes would also keep rolling back in her head for no reason at all.

Of course, she would have married Coco, the gay cook, only to find him in bed with Stan Four episodes down the road.

Last but not least there would have been an episode where her daughter, thin Lorna (as opposed to thick Lorna), would keep jabbering about having been molested.

I take it your version of Judy Garland would be a fictional one. One that cleaned up her act at the age of 25 and remained clean, sober and healthy from then on.

But...given the fact that at the age of 47 she looked about a thousand years old (which was probably her true age, from an emotional standpoint) she would probably look like she was about a million years old if she stuck around long enough to do The Golden Girls.

Judy Garland was truly one of the greatest performers to ever come out of Hollywood. She could sing, she could dance, she could sure as hell act and she was funny.

If she could have pulled it off she would have made a great Dorothy.

And she probably would have been much nicer to Betty White than Bea Arthur was.

I think Judy played "Dorothy" just the right number of times.

They'd be eating Cream of Wheat instead of cheesecake.

She became a big hit singing at the Rusty Anchor, but it wouldn't have lasted. She'd start showing up late or forgetting the lyrics in mid-song.

She would have vomited up barbiturates in Bette White's dressing room instead of taking a crap.

DOROTHY: Awww, come on, do it for me. Do it for Momma!

SOPHIA: Dorothy, how many times do I have to explain to you that I'm the momma and you're the daughter? How the hell am I supposed to get laughs about my own senility when I'm teamed up with a daughter who's dottier than 101 Dalmatians?

OMG r53. Just w&w'd that one.

Unlike Dorothy who found hootenanny a "marginal" rhyme for Miami and who also refused to accept "sa-LAM-ee," Judy would've found a way to rhyme it and have it come out beautiful in song.

Instead of hitting Rose with a newspaper she would have clicked her heels 3 times.

R53 But at least she would have been nicer to her!

The janitorial staff can always clean up the vomit but who can clean away the pain in Betty's heart from all the years of putting up with Bea's meanness. I ask you, who???

There would be a LOT more musical numbers.

If Judy Garland had played Rose as some suggested, the prescription pills episode might have hit a little too close to home.

Disney doesn't go for booze and dope.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Actually I think Judy would have made a half-way decent Sophia. I can see her handling the one liners and Dorothy and Sophia would have still had the tall/short thing going. But can anyone imagine what kind of shape Judy would have been in by the 1980s? I can't imagine she would have been able to breathe on her own let alone work.

She'd have been in her 60s, as Liza is now, and if she had lived through the 1970s, you can bet there would have been Mother Daughter Day at Studio 54. So she'd likely be in the same shape Liza is now.

Gaybro R62 wears a Yankees baseball cap and scratches his behind after every beer. But his father still hates him.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

[quote]sloopy hole

Come on, come on.

Sophia would be even more abusive than she already is.

Dorothy, Gloria and Phil would have performed as "The Petrillo Sisters."

When Dorothy broke up with Ken Wittingham, she'd say, "When I said 'Be A Clown,' I didn't expect you'd take me literally."

She would have been the one in the mudpack when Michael brought Lorraine home to meet her.

OMG, they really dressed Judy up like that??? WTH was she supposed to be, a little girl minstrel star? How shameful of MGM. How, even back then, could they not realize or care that they were insulting millions and millions of people? Would LBM have thought it was funny if someone ridiculed Jews that way, even back then. I ask that as a Jewish person. This wasn't the early 1800s. They should have had the decency by then not to do shit like that. I don't blame Judy. She looked quite young in that picture. I do blame the studio and her mother.

Did black people go to mainstream movies back then. I mean I figure they probably had to go to segregated theaters but what did they see, the same movies white people of that time flocked to or were there films that were made specifically for a black audience, films that weren't insulting to them? For instance, I can't imagine black people even back then thinking GWTW was such a great film or that it was realistic in the way it portrayed how slaves were treated.

Mickey Rooney would've played Dr. Jonathan Newman.

In between acts during the Henny Penny performance, Dorothy breaks down in the dressing room in front of her director because of Stanley's cheating.

"Sometime I h…h…hate him. I hate his promises to stop, and then the waiting and watching to see it begin again…."

Then she dries her eyes, returns to the stage, and goes right back into character as Turkey Lurkey to sing "A Piece of Blue Sky" without missing a beat.

Thank God we have people like you R62 to show that we have other stereotypes: the insecure fagele.

"How would The Golden Girls been different had Michael Dorsey played Dorothy?"

R74 and R76 are the best entries.

Who's Michael Dorsey?

R78, Michael Dorsey is Dustin Hoffman out of Dorothy Michaels drag in Tootsie.

W&W for R74

[quote]Sophia would be even more abusive than she already is.

How was Sophia abusive?

R72, here's the video. It's from the film EVERYBODY SINGS. Garland was just 15.

Stan's psychiatrist would give him a flying monkey to transfer his love onto.

During the IRS audit, after hearing Stan berated by the auditor, she would've stood up and said, "I am Mrs. Stanley Zbornak."

[quote]Did black people go to mainstream movies back then. I mean I figure they probably had to go to segregated theaters but what did they see, the same movies white people of that time flocked to or were there films that were made specifically for a black audience, films that weren't insulting to them? For instance, I can't imagine black people even back then thinking GWTW was such a great film or that it was realistic in the way it portrayed how slaves were treated

Movie theaters weren't segregated in the North. Also, Hollywood would often include blacks in throwaway scenes, because then they could be cut for distribution in the South without hurting the storyline. This was Hollywood's way of having their cake and eating it, too.

[quote]This was Hollywood's way of having their cake and eating it, too.

And they expected me to be grateful for the crumbs off the table.

LOL R83! Perfect.

For those who don't knoe, Nikko was the head Winged Monkey in the WIZARD OF OZ.

If Judy Garland had lived long enough to play Dorothy on Golden Girls, it means that Garland would have gotten her life in order -- at least to some degree -- long before she died in 1969.

I know this is a what if thread...

It impossible to believe that a sane Judy Garland would commit to one year of a situation comedy, let alone all the years that Golden Girls ran. Surely, she would have had better offers.

[quote]It impossible to believe that a sane Judy Garland would commit to one year of a situation comedy, let alone all the years that Golden Girls ran. Surely, she would have had better offers.

You're right. A star of her magnitude would never, ever, ever do television even if she needed the money.

Sophia would constantly put down Dot for her mannish looks and dateless nights.

Abusive little sea monkey.

Hey, only [italic]I[/italic] get to call her "Dot."

[quote]Sophia would constantly put down Dot for her mannish looks and dateless nights.

And we didn't?

Judy would've insisted HER Dorothy character not back out of the song and dance number to get leg surgery.

Judy's Dorothy would've done anything to make sure the show went on as it was planned and rehearsed.

And not cry because Jerry Seinfeld's mother had cancer. Or was it the snoopy neighbor from Alf who had cancer?

I'm not the 2015 bump troll

But this thread was one of DL's hidden gems.

I'd love to see Dorothy's aside to the audience when the old pervert comes in and introduces himself as "Toto".

Margaret Hamilton would have been perfect as Freda Claxton.

I could see Judy making the same demand with Susan Harris that Dixie Carter did with Linda Bloodworth-Thompson. Every time Dorothy has a rant, Judy gets a song in the next episode. Instead of "I Got You Babe" though, she'd sing "I'm an Indian Too" while dressed as Cher.

Peter Allen would have played Coco!

DTs