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Men identifying as “Mostly Straight” because “Bisexual” is still “Too Gay”

Savin-Williams is a professor emeritus of development psychology at Cornell University and the author most recently of Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity Among Men. We hear a lot about the Big Three Sexualities — straight, bisexual and gay. Most of us assume that these three orientations encompass the universe of sexual identities. But there is a new kid on the block: The mostly straight male.

To the uninitiated, mostly straight may seem paradoxical. How can a man be mostly heterosexual? If you’re a young man, you might assume that either you’re straight or you’re not, meaning you’re likely gay and maybe bisexual. Yet the evidence suggests that more young men identify or describe themselves as mostly straight than identify as either bisexual or gay combined.

A 2011–2013 U.S. government poll found that among 18- to 24-year-old men, 6% marked their sexual attractions as “mostly opposite sex.” That’s nearly 1 million young men. Yet when these men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight because for them bisexual, even if it is understood as “bisexual-leaning straight,” is too gay to accurately describe their identity. Given such constraints, these young men were left with no place to truthfully register their sexuality, thus forcing them to be less than honest. Talking to them, I found that in the most general sense, a mostly straight young man is sexually and/or romantically distinctive; we might say that he’s fluid or flexible, supposedly uncharacteristic of male sexuality. Traditionally, our understanding has been that if you’re male and have even a slight attraction to the same sex, then you must be gay. Even if this isn’t immediately apparent, we tell men, it will become so once you come to terms with your true self and exit your “phase” of bicuriosity or questioning. Women, by contrast, we give more space to be sexually fluid, as the sizeable literature on the subject attests.

The mostly straight man belongs to a growing trend of young men who are secure in their heterosexuality yet remain aware of their potential to experience far more. Perhaps he’s felt attracted to or fantasized about another guy to a slight degree or intermittently. He might or might not be comfortable with this seeming contradiction, a hetero guy who, despite his lust for women, rejects a straight label, a sexual category and a sexual description that feels foreign. He’d rather find another place on the sexual/romantic continuum, some location that fits him more.

One which encompasses nearly a million young Americans
Time
--Anonymous
replies 150Nov 20, 2017 6:39 AM +00:00

So tedious.

--Anonymous
replies 1Nov 20, 2017 6:50 AM +00:00
“Sexuality is a scale—it is possible to be somewhere near the middle.” A majority of millennials endorsed the second option, which means they believe in a spectrum of sexuality.

yawn....rouse me from the dead when you actually discover something not known for 7 decades

--a. kinsey, 1 to 10
replies 2Nov 20, 2017 6:56 AM +00:00

So cool

--Anonymous
replies 3Nov 20, 2017 7:00 AM +00:00

Seriously. This is just the kinsey scale, absolutely nothing new.

The reality is if don't fall on either end of the kinsey scale, you are indeed bisexual. But people are just afraid of that word.

--Anonymous
replies 4Nov 20, 2017 7:01 AM +00:00

R3, why is it cool that men still see being gay as a bad thing?

--Anonymous
replies 5Nov 20, 2017 7:03 AM +00:00

R5 is obviously retarded

--Anonymous
replies 6Nov 20, 2017 7:09 AM +00:00

At least they admit they like some dudes. The gay label is not sacred.

--Anonymous
replies 7Nov 20, 2017 7:12 AM +00:00

it's ok so long as you're 'primarily straight'

bullshit

--Anonymous
replies 8Nov 20, 2017 7:13 AM +00:00

Mostly straight to my boudoir!

www.towleroad.com
--Anonymous
replies 9Nov 20, 2017 7:15 AM +00:00

I don’t get the elder professional gay obsession with taking on “gay identity.” As long as they acknowledge some same-sex attraction, cool.

--Anonymous
replies 10Nov 20, 2017 7:16 AM +00:00

This new label isn't flexible enough to account for variability.

"Mostly straight" while at work and with the family; "holding at 5% straight" while on the Internet.

--Anonymous
replies 11Nov 20, 2017 7:20 AM +00:00

^ this

--Anonymous
replies 12Nov 20, 2017 7:22 AM +00:00

People screaming about the non-existence of bisexuality, wanting to label everyone gay or straight: are the same ones screaming how people are labeling them.

--Anonymous
replies 13Nov 20, 2017 7:23 AM +00:00

They all want the sex, but nobody wants the word "gay."

--Anonymous
replies 14Nov 20, 2017 7:24 AM +00:00

I'm not gay. I just like taking it up the ass.

--Don't label me, brah
replies 15Nov 20, 2017 7:27 AM +00:00

This thread is indicative of the problem.

You can fool around with one guy and people think you are gay. No one, everyone who has had sex with a guy is not gay.

--Anonymous
replies 16Nov 20, 2017 7:33 AM +00:00

"They all want the sex, but nobody wants the word "gay."

Word.

--Anonymous
replies 17Nov 20, 2017 7:38 AM +00:00

R16 it's the flaming PTSD queens who got called "Fag" one too many times in HS and desperately want to prove Johnny Quarterback was a fairy too!

--Anonymous
replies 18Nov 20, 2017 7:56 AM +00:00

What R18 said. Just like I don't want to be around "extreme" straight dudes ("hey broseph, when's the game start, high-five bro"). I also don't want to be around the extreme flamers - OMG GIRRRRRRRLLLLL DID YOU SEE REAL HOUSEWIVES? Let's flail into starbucks and try and get as many people to look at us so we an roll their eyes at them for looking at us!!!"

I sometimes don't blame straight guys for being just "mostly straight" for the dick or ass.

memegenerator.net
--Bro Dee
replies 19Nov 20, 2017 8:10 AM +00:00

Hmmmm

--Anonymous
replies 20Nov 20, 2017 8:11 AM +00:00

Didn't bother clicking on the bullshit article but am sick and tired of closeted cases trying to create a new label for themselves so as to appear 'normal' and 'straight'.

Seriously is this what Savin Williams wastes money on at a university. So many other worthwhile endeavors could be achieved rather than trying to legitimize this made up crap.

--Anonymous
replies 21Nov 20, 2017 8:20 AM +00:00

R21 was dressed as Madonna by age 4 and calls herself "Strictly Dickly" at Drag Brunches.

--Anonymous
replies 22Nov 20, 2017 8:25 AM +00:00

Seeing a lots ads from guys identifying as and seeking “straightish dudes.”

--Anonymous
replies 23Nov 20, 2017 8:25 AM +00:00

My gay friends and I had a name for "mostly straight" men I'm sure other gay men used it as well. We called them convincables. The straight guy that you just get a feeling about. Of course you had to be careful. Waiters and bartenders pass for convincables to up their tips from gay customers.

This is hardly new, but what is new is that more people are talking about it.

What also isn't new is men like R19 who just can't quite deal with their own internalized homophobia.

--Anonymous
replies 24Nov 20, 2017 9:07 AM +00:00
What also isn't new is men like [R19] who just can't quite deal with their own internalized homophobia.

W&W

--Anonymous
replies 25Nov 20, 2017 9:13 AM +00:00

R24 I typed a more fun reply but it got lost in la la land. Anyway, I'm really not homophobic. I'm extrema-phobic. What if I just want to suck a dick, but I don't want it to involve a whole gay pride parade with glitter and feather boas.

This thread got me wanting some straight scrotum.

--Tom Cruisey
replies 26Nov 20, 2017 9:18 AM +00:00

In HIV prevention, these are the guys we have to humor by calling them MSM (men who have sex with men.) It's not what they identify as, it's their behavior.

And, I say "humor" them, because these "mostly straight" men sure are having lots of homosexual sex.

--Anonymous
replies 27Nov 20, 2017 9:28 AM +00:00

I can't see a problem with "mostly straight." It's just a less clinical term. I myself am "mostly nice"...it doesn't mean I'm cruel or hissy, it just means for the most part, I'm not. It might also get complicated for a guy if he's looking at the number of his partners. If he's been with 20 girl and 3 guys, I can see how they'd consider themselves "mostly straight." Their thinking might change at a later date...or not.

--Completely Objective
replies 28Nov 20, 2017 9:28 AM +00:00

I like what R28 has to say on this subject.

--Hugh Jass
replies 29Nov 20, 2017 9:33 AM +00:00

Poor "bisexuals" nobody wants to be involved with their fake sexuality.

--Anonymous
replies 30Nov 20, 2017 9:37 AM +00:00

R30 Do you not believe in bisexuality? Have you had sex with a gender other than your own? It's kinda fun. I admit, I more prefer penis, but vagina can be pretty hot, too. There's a lady right now that I'd totally have sex with, and about 30 men I would. So, I guess technically I'm "mostly gay" or bisexual or whatever we call it. So, I don't know why guys couldn't also be "mostly straight?" I don't know - I'm not a psychiatrist at all - strictly an opinion of one here!

--Dr. Hymen
replies 31Nov 20, 2017 9:42 AM +00:00

To me it is funny because every gay man watches porn, and we all know that tons of guys do gay porn and then go homes to their wife or girlfriend.

The idea that sexuality isn't black and white, that is there is space in the middle, shouldn't be so hard to buy.

--Anonymous
replies 32Nov 20, 2017 10:00 AM +00:00

It's not black and white, R32, but it's also not an entire box of Crayolas.

There are two sexes male and female and three possible options. Same = homo oppositie = hetero both of the two sexes = bi

Three words are all we need to describe human sexuality.

The men who you describe participating in gay porn are bisexual.

--Anonymous
replies 33Nov 20, 2017 10:30 AM +00:00

TRue bro

--Anonymous
replies 34Nov 20, 2017 10:35 AM +00:00

R22 Drag brunches? God how OLD are you dear? You must be an eldergay. That scenario says more about you than me. Fuck I wasn't even born in Madonna's heyday.

Typical though another old, decrepit eldergay insistent on keeping up the hoopla of sexual fluidity so he can still claim he fucked a straight guy in 1941.

--Anonymous
replies 35Nov 20, 2017 2:14 PM +00:00

R35, you type like an angry radical, man.

--Anonymous
replies 36Nov 20, 2017 2:22 PM +00:00

Holy fuck R32 you better go off back to your swamp and fuck Cletus again. That's right getting your facts about life from a group of prostitutes is they way to go.

I can't believe that anyone still buys into the porn bullshit. 90 per cent of guys that do porn are damaged and usually from poor socioeconomic backgrounds with all sorts of issues, the biggest being their sexuality. They are usually from backgrounds with homophobia and judgemental family. Of course they would lie and say they're straight even though their have cocks up their asses and shoving cocks in their mouths like it was oxycontin.

Male sexuality is black and white. You are never going to get a true shade of grey because of environmental factors that distort results. If you eliminate homophobia then you will get a true reading of male sexuality, but until then it's all supposition peddled by those with an agenda.

--Anonymous
replies 37Nov 20, 2017 2:24 PM +00:00

R36 Thanks for the compliment. It must have been hard to type with your arthritis and partial blindness.

--Anonymous
replies 38Nov 20, 2017 2:29 PM +00:00

R37 "Male sexuality is black and white" Wrong. That is all.

--1000s of educated people before you
replies 39Nov 20, 2017 2:40 PM +00:00

Hmmmmmmm

--Anonymous
replies 40Nov 20, 2017 3:23 PM +00:00

R14. “No one wants the word ‘gay’” Bingo

--Anonymous
replies 41Nov 20, 2017 3:48 PM +00:00

Being Tranz, I can truly say that my sexuality is bisexual. To me the genitals aren’t all that important. I am in a long term relationship with a man now. Before that I was with a woman. The notion of “mostly straight” is a bit of a cop out. Some people will do anything to publicly keep their straight privilege while engaging in secretive gaiety. That is weak, but better than the closet queens like that Republican Wes Goodman. That man has done harm to lgbt people while using us for his closeted sex life. THose types I despise.

--Anonymous
replies 42Nov 20, 2017 3:58 PM +00:00

The book is based on conversations with 40 men. Not exactly a scientific sample.

--Anonymous
replies 43Nov 20, 2017 4:07 PM +00:00

The mostly straight man belongs to a growing trend of young men who are secure in their heterosexuality yet remain aware of their potential to experience far more. Perhaps he’s felt attracted to or fantasized about another guy to a slight degree or intermittently. He might or might not be comfortable with this seeming contradiction, a hetero guy who, despite his lust for women, rejects a straight label, a sexual category and a sexual description that feels foreign. He’d rather find another place on the sexual/romantic continuum, some location that fits him morE

--Anonymous
replies 44Nov 20, 2017 4:28 PM +00:00

INTEREsting

--Anonymous
replies 45Nov 20, 2017 6:06 PM +00:00

R35 is hilarious and dead-on.

--Anonymous
replies 46Nov 20, 2017 6:14 PM +00:00

We have this thread at least once a week.

--Anonymous
replies 47Nov 20, 2017 6:43 PM +00:00

We need more studies

--Anonymous
replies 48Nov 20, 2017 6:53 PM +00:00

We really don't, actually.

--Anonymous
replies 49Nov 20, 2017 6:56 PM +00:00

The "mostly straight" label covers up a multitude of sins!

--COSMO
replies 50Nov 20, 2017 8:16 PM +00:00

The "mostly straight" types always typify the worst gay stereotypes.

--Anonymous
replies 51Nov 20, 2017 8:53 PM +00:00

HOw so?

--Anonymous
replies 52Nov 21, 2017 3:16 AM +00:00

R51 I think the "worst gay stereotypes" are from the worst of the gays - non-stop cheating/ barebacking, shattering every room with the HELLO GIRLS entrance, prancing around as fem as possible, turning every conversation into a lady gaga appreciation celebration, etc. I run scared from those gross gay stereotypes, too, and I'm proudly hooked on the dick. I just like men, not women. So, to me, the "worst gay stereotypes" are the reason we even have "mostly straight" guys. Why am I using "so many quotation marks?" I need "help."

4.bp.blogspot.com
--Roux Paul
replies 53Nov 21, 2017 3:21 AM +00:00

One girlfriend, twenty different guys that they bang on the side.

--The New Millennial Straight Man Is The Ancient Greek Asshole
replies 54Nov 21, 2017 3:25 AM +00:00

Is "mostly straight" the same as pan sexual? I've been hearing millennials using this "pan sexual" term a lot to describe what I had assumed were closeted males who had public girlfriends/wives and secret sex with anonymous men. Is this called pan sexual now or "mostly straight" instead of closeted? Btw, I'm not even trying to be funny. I just don't get the terminology anymore and would like to have a conversation with millennials without sounding outdated or offensive.

--Anonymous
replies 55Nov 21, 2017 3:34 AM +00:00

I know men who are bisexual but they call themselves "gay" especially to gay men as a lot of gay men don't understand bisexuality or will claim that they're lying, closeted, in denial, etc.

R55, "pansexual" is just another term for being bisexual. There are pansexual people but they are into sex acts that are illegal like pedo/hebephile stuff or sex with animals. See link, A rarity as a black serial killer, Coleman preferred to victimize African Americans - with Marlene Walters his only white murder victim - and once said he was forced by blacks to kill other members of his race. By the time he killed 9-year-old Vernita Wheat in Waukegan, Ill., on May 29, 1994, Coleman was well known to Chicago-area police as a sexual predator. While only once convicted and sent to prison (where he forced three other inmates to have sex), his rap sheet contained four arrests for rape. He had even been accused by a half-sister of sexually molesting his 9-year-old niece. A prison psychiatric profile found Coleman, a ninth grade dropout with an IQ on the lower edge of normal, to be 'a pansexual willing to have intercourse with any object, women, men, children, whatever.'

www.clarkprosecutor.org
--Anonymous
replies 56Nov 21, 2017 3:43 AM +00:00

R55 Same here, as far as the terminology. My fantasy is me and my "mostly straight" friend keep sucking each other off from time to time, or j/o together every so often and no one would make a big deal of it. Neither of us would be good for each other in a legit full-on relationship. Generally speaking, he and his gf are great together socially, and cuddly, and romantically. She just doesn't suck dick like I do. I also don't ever want to spend the night with him cuddling, and planning our meals together - not my thing. I like what we have now. Is that so wrong? Let him be mostly straight, and I'll be mostly gay.

--Anonymous
replies 57Nov 21, 2017 3:44 AM +00:00

Women won't date them if they say they're bisexual, so they'll say they're straight. Gay men don't care.

--Anonymous
replies 58Nov 21, 2017 3:45 AM +00:00

R57 or why not have sex with each other and his girlfriend all at once? Have you talked to them about this at all?

"mostly gay"=another term for being bisexual.

--Anonymous
replies 59Nov 21, 2017 3:46 AM +00:00

As long as many or most openly gay men are fem or nonmasculine, there will be a strong stigma against gay identity that repels most men to avoid it at all costs. Most men want to be associated with an identity or culture known for diva-worship, calling men by female pronouns, campiness, or otherwise acting like females.

--Anonymous
replies 60Nov 21, 2017 5:00 AM +00:00

R30 aw mad you couldn't get up for a woman, so you believe others can't like men and women?

--Anonymous
replies 61Nov 21, 2017 5:11 AM +00:00

Self loating assholes. They're no better than the "queer" or "sexually fluid" types. Seriously, they need to get over their issues, being bisexual is not a bad thing.

--Anonymous
replies 62Nov 21, 2017 5:24 AM +00:00

I meant “Most men DON’T want to be associated with an identity or culture known for diva-worship, calling men by female pronouns, campiness, or otherwise acting like females.”

--Anonymous
replies 63Nov 21, 2017 6:01 AM +00:00

I do find it hilarious that bisexuals keep complaining about erasure and bemoan the need to label sexuality and yet they constantly twist themselves in knots coming up with an seemingly never-ending stream of new labels to avoid saying 'I am bisexual'.

Just an aside, I've never understood the notion that bisexuals and homosexuals are similar, these are two completely different and distinct sexualities. A gay men will never truly know what it means to be bi, nor vice versa.

I listen to bi guys talk about their attractions for men and women vacillating over years, months, or even day-to-day. I listen to bi guys talk about being sexually attracted to men and women, but only romantically attracted to women. I listen to bi guys talk about being attracted to dicks but not men. I listen to bi guys talk about 'discovering' a sexual attraction to men in their 20s, 30s, 40s or even 50s.

I, as a gay man, can try to understand the experiences of bisexuals, but I will never truly know or relate to these experiences because I'm not bisexual. Just because we're all lumped into this expanding group of letters (LGB++++++) doesn't mean we can't acknowledge there are fundamental differences between bisexuals and homosexuals.

--Anonymous
replies 64Nov 21, 2017 6:02 AM +00:00
Just like I don't want to be around "extreme" straight dudes ("hey broseph, when's the game start, high-five bro"). I also don't want to be around the extreme flamers - OMG GIRRRRRRRLLLLL DID YOU SEE REAL HOUSEWIVES? Let's flail into starbucks and try and get as many people to look at us so we an roll their eyes at them for looking at us!!!"

That's exactly how straight guys and gay guys talk!!!

--Anonymous
replies 65Nov 21, 2017 6:11 AM +00:00

And in other news, we can expect snow in Vermont this winter.

--Anonymous
replies 66Nov 21, 2017 6:23 AM +00:00

A lot of guys here do talk in that extremely fem campy way. Very much stereotypical

--Anonymous
replies 67Nov 21, 2017 6:25 AM +00:00

I'm a 100% gay, but I wonder what my daddy and uncles would have been.

You see, my daddy started fucking me when I was 8. He was a huge, built cattleman. 6'4" and weighing at least 275 pounds and built like a shit brickhouse. He forced his huge, unwashed, cheesy cock into me. No lube. Just spit, or gun oil if he had any. He would degrade and feminize me. He made me wear my sister's dresses and patent leather shoes. Often he would parade me around town in my sister's dress and raise the hem and show laughing passers-by my tiny cocklet. I was so degraded! I've never been so humiliated! He would make degrading gestures by putting his thumb and forefinger close together, leaving only a tiny space between them, and indicate this was how small my puny clit was. He called me a f@g, a punk, a buttboy, and a queer. He made me dance degrading dances and sing humiliating songs for my uncles and grandpappy. These were heavyset, weather-beaten cowboys with handlebar mustaches, thick biceps and meaty thighs. They would laugh while I danced for them, jacking their huge cocks. I was forced to service their nasty, huge cocks. Then they would pack my rectum full of hot jizz.

I'm only now beginning to recover from the psychological ravages of my abusive childhood.

--Anonymous
replies 68Nov 21, 2017 6:28 AM +00:00

According to Congressman Wes Goodman, it's not gay if you're both alphas.

--Anonymous
replies 69Nov 21, 2017 6:43 AM +00:00

Gay culture emasculates men, so naturally men avoid the identity

--Anonymous
replies 70Nov 21, 2017 6:45 AM +00:00

R68 's fictional account is why we can't have nice things.

--Anonymous
replies 71Nov 21, 2017 6:50 AM +00:00

GREAT news

--Anonymous
replies 72Nov 21, 2017 7:23 AM +00:00
aw mad you couldn't get up for a woman, so you believe others can't like men and women?

You obviously don't have a penis.

--You're not worth talking to. Too much potential trouble.
replies 73Nov 21, 2017 9:30 AM +00:00

This also has nothing to do with women so what the fuck are they doing now. Trying to "save their men"?

--All white women are black women now. Cya.
replies 74Nov 21, 2017 9:31 AM +00:00

HUh?

--Anonymous
replies 75Nov 21, 2017 9:32 AM +00:00

Yboom

--Anonymous
replies 76Nov 21, 2017 12:21 PM +00:00

Where did this absurd idea come from that women are naturally bisexual and men are gay or straight? I don’t hold that same opinion because I’ve known bisexual men.

--Anonymous
replies 77Nov 21, 2017 12:27 PM +00:00

Dope

--Anonymous
replies 78Nov 21, 2017 1:16 PM +00:00

From the new set of studies on Women and Gay Men and Why They Do Annoying Things by Dr. Abdul Rahman-Aziz

--Anonymous
replies 79Nov 21, 2017 1:18 PM +00:00
“Sexuality is a scale—it is possible to be somewhere near the middle.” A majority of millennials endorsed the second option, which means they believe in a spectrum of sexuality.

Uh, no it's not, at least not for men. Sexuality is binary for men. The Kinsey scale is outdated flawed BS from the 1950s. A lot of his research is biased and has been disproven.

--Anonymous
replies 80Nov 21, 2017 5:53 PM +00:00

R80 So just because you had homosexual urges and tried your best to like women and failed, it means no man can like both?

--Anonymous
replies 81Nov 21, 2017 5:57 PM +00:00

R80 is the annoying type

--Anonymous
replies 82Nov 21, 2017 6:21 PM +00:00

and then there are bisexuals

though some just say they're kidding themselves . . .

la la la la la la la la

Phoebe thinks its a nice idea fo her to impart wisdom to lil children...until she surprises evryone wn she sings.. Sometimes men love women And sometimes men...
YouTube
--Anonymous
replies 83Nov 21, 2017 6:28 PM +00:00

R82, the truth is annoying?

--Anonymous
replies 84Nov 22, 2017 12:48 AM +00:00

"... a growing trend of young men who are secure in their heterosexuality yet remain aware of their potential to experience far more."

aka cheating

And there's nothing new about it.

--Anonymous
replies 85Nov 22, 2017 1:11 AM +00:00

It cracks me up when people want to believe something so bad R80, that they state is as absolute fact, no matter what, all the research points to my opinion. End of story. La la la, closing my ears. I am smartest. Where's my mommy?

www.google.com
--Get a grip
replies 86Nov 22, 2017 6:23 AM +00:00

If bisexuals take over then we're going to need weapons because they're way more violent.

--Anonymous
replies 87Nov 22, 2017 6:26 AM +00:00

I wonder if all this opening up about straight men being such creepers at women will start to make "mostly straight" men explore their male interests even more, thinking it's a safer bet.

--Bruno Mars
replies 88Nov 22, 2017 6:29 AM +00:00

As someone mentioned above, there is no statistical significance to this book's findings. It is based on an incredibly small sample size (n=40) and is based on self report (notoriously unreliable data).

The sexuality studies that measure arousal based on penile plethysmography are much more reliable.

--Anonymous
replies 89Nov 22, 2017 7:00 AM +00:00

Could one of you "non-gays" please explain to me why you come to a web site that says right on the front door "We've been serving up this steaming pile of Gay celebrity gossip, politics and pointless bitchery since 1995"

If you have such hatred and animosity towards anything gay, why not go to you own "non-gay" website? Why do yo come here to a GAY site. Oh wait, is it because there are so few of you non-gays the miniscule traffic to any such site wouldn't begin to cover the costs?

--Don't let the door hit ya on the way out
replies 90Nov 22, 2017 8:51 AM +00:00

R90 - I'm too lazy to scroll all through, but I don't even remember anyone saying they were "non gay" - maybe I missed it. And does difference of opinion always equate to "hatred and animosity?" I must keep missing stuff.

--Just a gay straight-bi-who-cares loving dude. P.S. I just like dick.
replies 91Nov 22, 2017 8:59 AM +00:00
The sexuality studies that measure arousal based on penile plethysmography are much more reliable.

Please quote some.

I'd be curious to know how many guys who identify as straight or mostly so are aroused by both genders.

--Anonymous
replies 92Nov 22, 2017 9:29 AM +00:00

Hah, R54... So true. Same old bullshit.

--Anonymous
replies 93Nov 22, 2017 1:20 PM +00:00

Bisexuality does exist. I identify as bisexual. I dated a girl in high school and even took her to prom and madeout! So I'm not what you would call a gold star gay but a genuine bisexual man.

--Anonymous
replies 94Nov 22, 2017 1:23 PM +00:00

I think they're moving off of bisexual because the jig is up. People kind of realize now that bi men are almost always gay but wanting to appear partly straight.

--Anonymous
replies 95Nov 22, 2017 2:13 PM +00:00

R95 - sometimes, but certainly not always.

--Bi Bi Birdie
replies 96Nov 22, 2017 2:24 PM +00:00

LOL R94. You even "made out" with your prom date, you say?! Yes, you MUST be bisexual then....

--Anonymous
replies 97Nov 22, 2017 2:25 PM +00:00

R95, not really. Your worldview is tiny.

--Anonymous
replies 98Nov 22, 2017 2:45 PM +00:00

TYgff

--Anonymous
replies 99Nov 22, 2017 5:20 PM +00:00

the gay male stereotype is usually super effeminate men with frosted blond hair. but all the gay dudes ive met can more or less be summed up as quiet, brunette, super into computers/science, wears flannel, listens to hip hop or indie music.

--Anonymous
replies 100Nov 22, 2017 6:45 PM +00:00

Keep in mind Breitbart is probably in this thread trying to push their agenda of breaking up our community.

That said, Bisexuals are notorious for pursuing trans women for sex, but refuse to consider them for normal relationships. They seem to do the same with gay men or female bisexuals touristing with Lesbians. When bisexuals start loving same sex partners or trans, I think they will be more respected. We are as worthy of love, legitimacy and relationship status as hetero relationships. Your lgbt sex partners should not be dirty secrets.

--Anonymous
replies 101Nov 22, 2017 6:56 PM +00:00

Uh okay

--Anonymous
replies 102Nov 22, 2017 7:34 PM +00:00

R100, I need to meet the gay guys you know. I've always wanted to meet gay guys like that.

Never have

--Anonymous
replies 103Nov 23, 2017 12:00 PM +00:00
Keep in mind Breitbart is probably in this thread trying to push their agenda of breaking up our community.

You keep repeating this in every thread you disagree with. What's YOUR agenda?

--Anonymous
replies 104Nov 23, 2017 1:09 PM +00:00

Exactly

--Anonymous
replies 105Nov 23, 2017 1:10 PM +00:00

OP, I appreciate your effort to educate but the average DLer's knowledge of sexuality rivals a Republican housewife from Kansas, with all the misconceptions.

On DL, if a guy has slept with 500 women and one man, he's a pathetic closet case and a terrible person to boot - for his cowarldy resusal to come out!

If a guy has slept with 1,000 women and has only fantasized about sex with a man he is - you guessed it - a closet case who'll be so much happier when he finally embraces his true self!

There's no "mostly straight" - It's 100% het or you're gay, gay, gay.

--Anonymous
replies 106Nov 23, 2017 1:50 PM +00:00

True, it’s an archaic elder professional gay mindset predominates on DL. No nuance, no complexity, no fluidity. Outdated

--Anonymous
replies 107Nov 23, 2017 2:19 PM +00:00

R92 Why don't you start with the link below- this is a nice "meta analysis" that summarizes multiple studies, and be sure to look at the reference list for specific studies. You can cross reference them at Pubmed.gov

The assessment of sexual arousal in men and women informs theoretical studies of human sexuality and provides a method to assess and evaluate the treatment of sexual dysfunctions and paraphilias. Unde
SpringerLink
--Anonymous
replies 108Nov 23, 2017 2:34 PM +00:00

FGGGFFxds

--Anonymous
replies 109Nov 24, 2017 8:25 AM +00:00

I love brosexuals!

--Anonymous
replies 110Nov 26, 2017 4:12 AM +00:00

Really? There are still DLers who like to say bisexual men don't exist? Science says otherwise

the new one finds that bisexual men responded to both the male and female videos, while gay and straight men in the study did not.
A new report that reverses earlier findings suggests that men who identify themselves as bisexual may indeed experience arousal from both men and women.
www.nytimes.com
--Anonymous
replies 111Nov 26, 2017 6:24 AM +00:00

Because some people think: Gay = Effeminate and weak

--Anonymous
replies 112Nov 26, 2017 7:04 AM +00:00

Of course, and they think gay male culture is lame, unmanly, and whack.

--Anonymous
replies 113Nov 26, 2017 7:18 AM +00:00

No idea who these guys are dating, female wise, but most women will not seriously date a guy who is not straight, if she is. In fact, there are a lot of women who do not date men who come across as feminine.

--Anonymous
replies 114Nov 26, 2017 8:44 AM +00:00

They still think 'gay' is a bad thing. Poor, benighted souls.

--Anonymous
replies 115Nov 26, 2017 8:47 AM +00:00

Of course they do

--Anonymous
replies 116Nov 26, 2017 9:53 AM +00:00
No idea who these guys are dating, female wise, but most women will not seriously date a guy who is not straight

That's one reason why bisexual guys tend to lie so much. Eventually it becomes habitual. I knew a bi guy who lied anout the stupidest things. He'd say he ate at McDonald's if he ate Wendy's.

--Anonymous
replies 117Nov 26, 2017 10:02 AM +00:00

Whatta buncha stupid Phaagzz! It doesn't matter if you're Halle Berry or Lupita Nyongo, the KKK still sees you as a nigrra

--Pretty Truth Hurts
replies 118Nov 26, 2017 10:10 AM +00:00

ALrighty then

--Anonymous
replies 119Nov 28, 2017 10:45 AM +00:00

And yet women love Harry Styles who has a feminine apperance and constantly hopes he's bisexual and dating Liam. Just proves further gay men don't know women and shouldn't comment for them.

--Anonymous
replies 120Nov 28, 2017 10:54 AM +00:00

Even in 2017, America still adheres to the "Suck One Cock And You Are Gay Forever" rule.

--Anonymous
replies 121Nov 28, 2017 12:35 PM +00:00

In personals/apps, I specify I am only seeking “straightish dudes.”

--Anonymous
replies 122Nov 28, 2017 1:06 PM +00:00

R120, Girls, not women.

--Anonymous
replies 123Nov 28, 2017 1:09 PM +00:00

Yep,so many people still think that way r121

i.pinimg.com
--Anonymous
replies 124Nov 28, 2017 1:24 PM +00:00

R121 Gays in America, but most people know women are opening up to male bisexuality, hence why it's been shown more and more on media

--Anonymous
replies 125Nov 28, 2017 6:24 PM +00:00

Bryan Singer is bisexual.

So are Dustin Lance Bass and Tom Daily.

--Anonymous
replies 126Dec 2, 2017 12:21 PM +00:00

R126 No they're not bisexual.

Singer is a pedo/hebephile, and yet somehow he was allowed to adopt a child?!

Dustin Lance Bass and Tom Daily are gay men.

--Anonymous
replies 127Dec 2, 2017 1:17 PM +00:00

Yyepp

--Anonymous
replies 128Dec 2, 2017 7:25 PM +00:00

I love ❤️ these bros .

--Anonymous
replies 129Dec 3, 2017 3:49 AM +00:00

Most straight women are not into bisexual men maybe it is common among young millennia women but most over 30 prefer straight men. Bisexual women are a different animal because they tend to be more open to bi men. I really don't think most straight women are that desperate, yes there will be few who feel their biological clock is ticking and will settle for a bi man. I am paraphrasing Chris rock words " when a woman settles for a bi guy he was never her first choice, she really wanted a straight man" . Chris rock did not state it like that but I just switched it around.

--Anonymous
replies 130Dec 3, 2017 4:24 AM +00:00

R130, so what dude? There are plenty of women who are the exception and cool with it today. Of course, monogamy is critical. Any guy who can’t commit and be Faithful has no business being in any type relationship

--Anonymous
replies 131Dec 3, 2017 4:29 AM +00:00

Singer didn't adopt R127

He impregnated a friend of his and they had the child together.

Thinking the impregnation occurred in a test tube.

--Anonymous
replies 132Dec 3, 2017 5:34 AM +00:00

Stop talking about dudes who aren’t hot.

--Anonymous
replies 133Dec 3, 2017 8:12 AM +00:00

Yepp

--Anonymous
replies 134Dec 4, 2017 4:06 PM +00:00

People are seeking bros who just happen to make out with dudes, but none of the stereotypical gay stuff that makes so many gay guys seem effeminate.

--Anonymous
replies 135Dec 7, 2017 3:25 AM +00:00

Progress

--Anonymous
replies 136Dec 9, 2017 2:33 AM +00:00

Mostly straight or Trans - those are your options.

--Anonymous
replies 137Dec 9, 2017 2:40 AM +00:00

I’ll take Mostly Straight, Alex

--Anonymous
replies 138Dec 9, 2017 7:10 PM +00:00

Voim

--Anonymous
replies 139Dec 10, 2017 3:38 AM +00:00

Getting to the point, neither the OP's referenced research paper nor this thread would be necessary if it were broadly socially acceptable for men to be open about being attracted to, and having sex with, other men.

--Anonymous
replies 140Dec 11, 2017 1:53 PM +00:00

No wonder gay marriage is so fragile. Men regard gay sex as some kind of exotic condiment they douse their meat with only occasionally.

I can count one had the number of relationships I'm aware of. The rest just cruise online.

--Anonymous
replies 141Dec 11, 2017 2:56 PM +00:00

Because it’s viewed as unmanly

--Anonymous
replies 142Dec 11, 2017 3:05 PM +00:00

I love this trend!

--Anonymous
replies 143Dec 12, 2017 5:02 AM +00:00

Why would a straight woman like myself want to date bi guy and risk getting infected with all kinds of stds from his down low lifestyle. Like I stated earlier bisexual women might make better partners because they will be more open since they share similar same sex attraction. there is a reason bi porn now features bi women and men foursomes.

--Anonymous
replies 144Dec 12, 2017 5:38 AM +00:00

Because they are not gay ?

--Anonymous
replies 145Dec 12, 2017 7:59 AM +00:00

Keep out r143

--Anonymous
replies 146Dec 12, 2017 8:02 AM +00:00
People are seeking bros who just happen to make out with dudes, but none of the stereotypical gay stuff that makes so many gay guys seem effeminate.

When gay men bi guys get a long this will all go away. This weird condescending way of phrasing will go to.

I'm sorry white guys won't fuck you.

--Anonymous
replies 147Dec 12, 2017 8:10 AM +00:00

R144 Princess let women speak for themselves, I doubt they need gay men being their voice

--Anonymous
replies 148Dec 12, 2017 8:12 AM +00:00

I tried to make a relationship with a bi guy work, but he just went crawling home to mommy in the end.

I love men but I hate the lies and double standards that keep men from loving each other. As for calling it "toxic masculinity," if it's so toxic why are there women who wish to perform masculinity just as there are men who wish to perform femininity? If anything is truly toxic, it's slathering your face in chemicals every day.

I'm sorry white guys won't fuck you.

Getting white guys to fuck me or let me fuck them has never been an issue. Finding ones worthy of being married to is another thing altogether. I've never wanted to play the field and even the few times I had one-night stands and tried to divorce sex from love I couldn't. There was still the sense of sadness that that's all there will ever be.

If you can't say "I'm gay" in public or even in private, how can you possibly follow it up with "and this is my husband" until you do?

--Anonymous
replies 149Dec 12, 2017 8:53 AM +00:00

I meant keep out r144

--Anonymous
replies 150Dec 12, 2017 9:57 AM +00:00