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Are you a bisexual male? Do you identify as straight?

I know a few bi men who identify as straight. They're completely comfortable within themselves and acknowledge that they like guys/girls equally, yet if you asked them they'd say they were straight....Is this common amongst bi men?

by Anonymousreply 31204/27/2015

Is this common amongst bi men? In about 95% of them OP.

by Anonymousreply 107/31/2010

Bi males are gays

by Anonymousreply 307/31/2010

Unless, of course, R2, if they had the courage and the balls to identify as bi or gay. But, once their rocks are off, they are "straight."

by Anonymousreply 507/31/2010

The people here love the fantasy that most men are bi, especially hunky handsome masculine types. ROTFLMAO.

by Anonymousreply 807/31/2010

This will not end well.

by Anonymousreply 907/31/2010

If someone tells me they are bi, why should I question them? They know how they feel, I don't

by Anonymousreply 1007/31/2010

I've never met a bi man who didn't later turn out to be a garden variety gay.

by Anonymousreply 1107/31/2010

Oh god, oh god, another one of these threads. They are here every month.%0D %0D Whatever "bisexual males" are (and I put that in quotes), they are MESSED UP people. Run far far away. They are mindgame players and getting tangled up with one will never end well. They are not even good friends. Duplicituous. The bisexual tag is only the tip of an iceberg of psychologically fucked up problems.%0D %0D I, personally, don't think they really exist in males, either. Our psychological make-up is simply hotwired to be attracted to one gender or another predominantly. That does not mean that we cannot function sexually with the sex we are less attracted to, either. Plenty of gay men had/have sex with women. Sometimes. Doesn't make it their sexual preference, though, if truth were told.%0D %0D Men who identify as bisexual creep me the hell out. Always have. They are usually poseurs, too. Laughable.

by Anonymousreply 1307/31/2010

R13 if said "gay man" is having sex with women that makes him bisexual! Bisexuality does exist in men a lot more than some like to admit.

by Anonymousreply 1407/31/2010

r13 your spot on. And the poseur description is everyone I have ever met! LEAVE LEAVE so called bi's to themselves.

by Anonymousreply 1607/31/2010

"male" is a socially constructed concept, therefore there are no "bisexual males".

by Anonymousreply 1707/31/2010

R18 I was talking about "gay men" who have sex with women after they have come out. I'm not talking about closet cases.

by Anonymousreply 1907/31/2010

Some gay men, who sleep with only men, and no women at all, identify as "straight". Is it honest? No. Is it attractive? No. But, it happens. If you find that attractive, then whatever floats your boat. Some people do, and the funny thing is these gay men are always single, and many times ignored by the "straight" guys they want, especially at my gym.

by Anonymousreply 2007/31/2010

John Wayne Gacy claimed he was not a homosexual or even bi!

by Anonymousreply 2107/31/2010

R21, what company gay and bisexual who claim to be straight keep, huh? Gacy was very deslusional; claiming to be straight and claiming to not killing those boys... %0D %0D Delusion is there problem.

by Anonymousreply 2207/31/2010

r22, are you drunk or are you always functionally illiterate? You have the grammar and spelling skills of a dyslexic goat.

by Anonymousreply 2507/31/2010

Yeah, R29, again, it's the openly gay man's fault that the bi guy is a coward. Great rationalization. If you're bisexual, then be proud of it. If you're not, I'm not taking the blame. It takes courage to be an openly gay or bisexual man.

by Anonymousreply 3007/31/2010

r27, and r28, wouldn't YOUR definition, then make the WHOLE HUMAN FUCKING RACE bisexual by DEFAULT, then? What the hell "to a lesser extent" IS that "extent?" I mean, ALL women COULD function sexually with either sex, whether they really enjoyed it or not. So, say a lesbian says "I don't actually enjoy sex with men but I used to have it with my ex-husband all the time. It was kind of blah." She liked it "a little bit" but she also always preferred women. So, is SHE a bisexual NOW? She hasn't had sex with a man in a long time and has no plans to.%0D %0D %0D And a gay man who professes to have ZERO sexual attraction to women could probably find a way to get it up for a whole lot of money or under penalty of death or something. So, he decides it was very mildly enjoyable and he thought of his boyfriend the whole time. HIS "lesser extent" was really small but he DID have an orgasm with the woman. So, is HE a bisexual?%0D %0D If the "level of preference" doesn't matter, then there are no HOMOsexuals, either. since we all have SOME degree of attractiveness to both genders, no matter how wide the gap.%0D %0D That makes everyone bisexual and your theory BULL FUCKING SHIT.

by Anonymousreply 3107/31/2010

r27, there is no one who is 100% on either end of the Kinsey scale so, according to YOUR brilliant definition, EVERYONE is bisexual.%0D

by Anonymousreply 3207/31/2010

I'm 110% gay, but have had sex one or more times with bisexual men. they were dating women, hit on me, and we either had a threeway or he liked to be watched and touched or butt-played while fucking a gal. i always let them know I was not interested in doing more than a little touching with the women, but the four times 3ways happened, I got a little bi. But that was only because the guy was hot, and involved in the sex.

by Anonymousreply 3307/31/2010

Calm down, r31. Now, now, it's ok.

by Anonymousreply 3507/31/2010

A bi thread? Haven't seen one of those in a while.

Thanks, OP!

by Anonymousreply 4007/31/2010

39 replies and not one real bisexual in the bunch.

THREAD CLOSED

by Anonymousreply 4107/31/2010

A woman who claims to be bisexual = a straight woman.%0D %0D A man who claims to be bisexual = a gay man.

by Anonymousreply 4207/31/2010

These people seem to think they are bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 4307/31/2010

that doesn't sound clear cut to me but then again, I'm man enough to be gay and not a pussy-bi guy

by Anonymousreply 4507/31/2010

R46 I believe.

by Anonymousreply 4707/31/2010

Bi guys end up committing to women 99,999 times out of 100,000, so I guess the predominant frame of reference for themselves is going to be straight.

by Anonymousreply 4908/01/2010

Listen to r49. He's wearing a lab jacket and carrying a clip board, so you know he's an expert and not just a stereotyping bigot.

by Anonymousreply 5008/01/2010

Oh geez, not this stupid thread again.

by Anonymousreply 5108/01/2010

[quote]hey happen to identify as straight mainly, i guess, cos they can't be bothered oh, dear

by Anonymousreply 5408/01/2010

[quote]WHY gay men do not believe in the existence of bi males?

frankly, I like the idea but ALL of the so-called bisexual males I've gotten to know over my 42 years have then later turned out to be fairly typical gay men, they all just when through that transition from straight to bi to gay. If you're bi, fine, but get back to me in five years and I'll see. . . .

by Anonymousreply 5508/01/2010

I'm not a male (I just came in to observe) but I can identify with being bisexual. No matter who I date, marry or have kids with I'll be bisexual and I won't set aside or lose that identity (reality) for anyone, period. Much like being my ethnic background, a citizen from the great state of ...., a woman, right-handed, you get the point. :) I do wonder if it's easier or harder for people based on their other characteristics? Some people want to be/seem as "normal"/"mainstream" as possible, while others, if they wouldn't change one characteristic they wouldn't change any of them because it makes you the unique human being that you are, regardless of 3rd party/public opinion. If you aren't from a certain economic background, a certain color, gender, sexuality, religion, etc, then you aren't exactly at the top of the food chain to begin with. In for a penny..

by Anonymousreply 5708/01/2010

[quote]Excuse my insomnia-related rambling%0D %0D But, oh my goodness, your words are laced with the sparkling gold that is truth. Thank you for your insights. Thank you, so very much.

by Anonymousreply 5908/01/2010

Yes, OP.

These labels mean different things to different people; not all of whom are honest.

But the truth is, most bisexuals ARE more strongly attracted and oriented toward one gender over another, especially the men.

by Anonymousreply 6008/01/2010

"They're completely comfortable within themselves and acknowledge that they like guys/girls equally"

I don't know any male bisexuals who like men and women equally. They all have a clear preference for one gender over the other.

by Anonymousreply 6305/04/2013

99% of bi men identify as "straight"

by Anonymousreply 6605/04/2013

Bi men call themselves straight and most gay men insist they become bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 6805/04/2013

All bi guys treat their relationships with women 1000 times more valuable and with more respect than they treat their same sex "hook-ups". Then they bitch about biphobia!

Stay clear of all bi guys, that's my standpoint.

by Anonymousreply 7107/25/2013

interesting survey

by Anonymousreply 7307/30/2013

Only when I'm around straight people.

by Anonymousreply 7809/01/2013

Self-proclaimed bi guys are always homophobic. They always freak out if someone "accuses" them of being gay even if they have cocks in mouth, butt and each hand at the time.

by Anonymousreply 8209/01/2013

"Too often, the gay community seeks to copy the heterosexual model of sexual and social practice. I believe the sexual norms within mainstream gay culture betray the true bond between two men -a bond that often goes beyond what is displayed publicly for fear of shame and misunderstanding."

Same with some dykes with feminine and masculine pairing

by Anonymousreply 8309/01/2013

I've been with at least 3 true-blue bisexual guys and had a 4 year relationship with one of them. They were NOT homophobic, though I'm sure some bis could be, given how many self-hating gays are out there. They exist whether you want to accept it or not.

by Anonymousreply 8409/01/2013

Nonsense R87.

by Anonymousreply 8809/01/2013

I identify as straight when I'm around people I know.

by Anonymousreply 9109/02/2013

I don't know of any (younger) gay men that wish to be bisexual, R86.

by Anonymousreply 9209/02/2013

There are bi men who identify as gay. They know they prefer other guys generally, but are open to women. They don't talk about it due to bi-phobia among gay men.

by Anonymousreply 9309/02/2013

bi guys usually suicide out

by Anonymousreply 9409/02/2013

I'm 100% homo but had some fun bi experiences, mostly pleasuring the bi guy's ass while he fucked a chick. totally fun.

by Anonymousreply 9509/02/2013

That whole frottage thing is gross.

I like to fuck men, I like to fuck women. Frottage does not get me off with any gender.

by Anonymousreply 9709/02/2013

What type of men do you like r97?

by Anonymousreply 9909/02/2013

Every military guy that came out as bisexual to me also identified as straight to everyone else.

by Anonymousreply 10209/02/2013

LOL @ R86.

Maybe in your dreams, my dear.

But yes, I guess that gay men are upset because they are not creepy, sleazy, slutty, immoral, ignoble, traitorous and cruel sociopaths who play with people's feelings and then, when their distortions and lies are discovered, they claim to be misunderstood and victims of "discrimination".

You're right: that is SUCH a desirable way to be.

by Anonymousreply 10309/02/2013

Hi guys, I just discovered that I'm bisexual. What advice to you have for me?

by Anonymousreply 10409/02/2013

I think bisexuals, both male and female, are just oversexed and indiscriminate.

by Anonymousreply 10609/02/2013

R104 - follow the Wentworth Formula: deny, deny, DENY and then, deny a little bit more so that your pathetic fans (who are mostly emotionally stunted young women, ugly girls and sexually frustrated middle-aged housewives), don't turn their backs on you because you have crushed their hopes and dreams.

Then, when your career disintegrates, stage an opportunistic "coming out", saying that you were gay all along but don't have to explain why you vehemently denied it.

Oh, and don't forget to pay your "girlfriend" her salary... But I forgot, you're bisexual! Then you must follow the Travolta Formula: get married and engage in all sorts of shady behaviour with male masseurs, your "assistant", gay-for-pay creeps like Paul Barresi and film crews. When people look at you suspiciously, show your wife and children around a little, so that everyone remembers you also love pussy.

In that way, you will have a career and a "macho" image while trying to "seduce" men on the side. The perfect life!

by Anonymousreply 10709/02/2013

I love the guys who say they aren't into labels, but claim they are straight. Like that mental case Nick Gruber whatever.

by Anonymousreply 11109/04/2013

[quote]Also, a male who identifies as a bisexual is putting a creepy tag on himself that indicates he is a manipulative self-important poseur, at least every one I have met in my middle-aged life.

I try to stay open minded, but I kind of agree with this.

by Anonymousreply 11209/04/2013

r110, I hear that in 99% of cases with bi guys: men are for sex and women are for 'real' relationships. I appreciate when bi guys are honest and up front about their feelings. Honestly, (I know I'm in the minority) I lose interest sexually/romantically when I find out a guy is bi, it's the exact same reaction I have when I find out a guy is straight. Being friends with a straight or bi guy is cool but that's as far as it goes for me. From a sexual/romantic stand point my dick/heart react to bi guys the same as they react to straight guys: nice to look at but not worth the headache.

by Anonymousreply 11309/04/2013

R114, gay men do not have a complex regarding bisexual men. The simple truth is that no one likes to feel like they are being used for sexual gratification. It's degrading and painful, and people tend to try to distance themselves from situations and individuals who might make them feel like little more than objects. Now, allow me to ask you, is that so difficult to understand?

While I commend you for your honesty in all regards, it is also true that many gay men have had horrible experiences with bisexual men who have manipulated, deceived and exploited them, while looking for an opposite sex partner to have a "real" relationship with. The rejection of what anyone would consider unfair and dishonest treatment is only natural, even if some take it to extreme levels.

SO, to answer your question, I doubt that any gay men, beside them most ignorant, would deny the existence of bisexuality in males. Then again, the often homophobic, disdainful and exploitative attitudes that many bisexual men seem to have towards gay men, as well as the inherent dishonesty in their conduct towards them, elicits an understandably hostile response from many members of the gay community.

Still, since you are clear about your intentions from the beginning, I wouldn't say that you could be lumped together with the sort of bisexual men that I have described.

R113, I belong to the same minority as you, which appears to be a rarity in the gay community. Self-loathing is a far greater issue than we can imagine, unfortunately.

by Anonymousreply 11609/07/2013

[quote]The simple truth is that no one likes to feel like they are being used for sexual gratification.

Are you fucking kidding me? The internet if filled with men BEGGING to be used with no reciprocation. It is the ideal sexual relationship for a lot of men.

by Anonymousreply 11709/07/2013

Bisexual men are cunts who are so selfish and all about the BI DRAMA! They are just too much of a drain to be around, plus they have no respect for gay men or same sex relationships, All they want is a cheap meaningless hook up while straight sex relationships or even hetero casual flings are valued rather highly. And then they wonder why gay men are biphobic?

All bi men even bi guys who are mostly gay will still end up with women.

I stay clear of bi men, not just romantically or sexually but even socially; they are exhausting to be around, it's all bout the bi drama.

by Anonymousreply 11809/07/2013

What happens to bisexual males? Do they get married to women and have sex with guys on the side? Do they end up anti-gay assholes? Suicide?

by Anonymousreply 12209/07/2013

Ah.

by Anonymousreply 12609/07/2013

Bi men will date women and fuck men on the side.

Pigs.

by Anonymousreply 12709/07/2013

[quote]Some of us get married to men and have a girlfriend on the side.

This never happened. Ever.

by Anonymousreply 12909/07/2013

k

by Anonymousreply 13009/08/2013

R129 -- rare, but yes, it does.

by Anonymousreply 13109/08/2013

I identify as stud

by Anonymousreply 13209/08/2013

Why get marry then if you're going to have an open relationship? If your girlfriend gets pregnant (which is a risk) I wonder if your husband will still be so welcoming.

Your marriage is going to break in 1...2...

by Anonymousreply 13309/08/2013

So bi men can never be satisfied or happy with just one gender, if they date a guy they have to hook up with chicks, of the date a woman they have to cheat with other guys.

Actually that is rather sad, never to feel as if one can even stand a chance at having a happy fulfilled relationship with just one person.

I guess bi men don't care about that because they are so selfish and all have a personalty disorder.

by Anonymousreply 13409/08/2013

R134 would you categorize every gay relationship that was not monogomous as 'disordered'.

Why does the gender matter so much to you?

by Anonymousreply 13609/08/2013

Of course not, but at least straight or gay men stand a chance at have a fulfilling relationship, for bisexual men it seems impossible from the outset.

by Anonymousreply 13709/08/2013

i am bi but lean more on the hetero side by a lot. If there were just as much as feminine looking and acting gay guys or then i be almost equal but still leaning hetero. I haven't tried a guy by the way but my arousal and attraction thinks that it leans that way

No BS. Every bi leans one way or the other

by Anonymousreply 13909/09/2013

R137 you are so full of shit.

by Anonymousreply 14009/09/2013

I agree with R137.

Since that person supposedly is attracted to both genders then they will NOT be able to be satisfied with one person. They will oftentimes be crazing the other gender and this exponentially increases the chance of affairs and being unfulfilled.

Yes, relationships ideally should be based solely on love but you would be lying to yourself if you believe that other aspects such as sex and finances don't play a significant role in a successful relationship.

It's unfortunate but it's true.

by Anonymousreply 14109/09/2013

wrong, r141. Millions of bisexuals are contently in lifelong monogamous marriages. Adults learn how to sacrifice their impulses and fleeting desires when they are in a relationships. You give up something to enter into a monogamous relationship, but that is part of what makes relationships special and good.

by Anonymousreply 14209/09/2013

I agree r 142, as long as those relationships are with women. Bi guys would never make that sacrifice for a gay relationship. I think more so straight relationships because it has the added bonus of social acceptance.

The fact is bi men value sex with women and their attraction to women much much more than they value their feelings and attractions toward men, even bi guys that are more attracted to men they still value straight relationships more.

Personally I have had nothing but really bad experiences with bi guys, and most gay men I know who have date bi guys all tell me the same thing.

Maybe bi guys should ask why so many gay men feel bad toward them, rather than blaming gay men maybe they need to take some responsibility and acknowledge their failings when it comes to their attitude toward gay men.

But a bi guy taking responsibility for his action seems highly unlikely.

by Anonymousreply 14309/09/2013

bi-guys are ALWAYS homophobes. They hate that part of themselves and they hate it in others. They NEVER hang out with gay guys.

by Anonymousreply 14409/09/2013

My only problem with bisexual males (as others have alluded to):

They tend to ALWAYS gravitate to women for relationships and men for sex. When a person has no problem fucking someone, while refusing to make an emotional investment, it's NEVER for a purely innocent reason. It's basically akin to Strom Thurmond and Thomas Jefferson fucking black women, but viewing them as subhuman trash who weren't worthy of equal rights.

Honest question:

Has anyone ever met a bisexual male who gravitates toward men for relationships and women for sex only? It seems like bi guys gladly latch on to the straight label, yet run from "gay" with all of their strength.

by Anonymousreply 14509/09/2013

Looking at all of the hate and biphobia in this thread alone, can you really blame bi men for ending up with females most of the time?

I am bi leaning towards men but the person is mire important than the gender for me.I have had romantic/emotional relationships with men , Two of which were also bi. However I am often made to feel unwelcome and treated like a liar by many of the gay men I have come across.

I have never cheated on anyone, but one if the bi guys, one woman and a few gay men have cheated on me.

In my experience a lot of women are reluctant to get into a relationship withba bi male, but it's never been as negativeca response as from gay men.

by Anonymousreply 14609/09/2013

[quote]bi-guys are ALWAYS homophobes.

Bullshit. I am a bi man and NOT a homophobe. None of the other bi men I know are homophobes.

by Anonymousreply 14709/09/2013

R142

IDEALLY, that's definitely how it SHOULD be!

The reality of *HUMAN NATURE* is that most people (especially males) eventually must act on all sexual desires or else it can actually inversely affect their mental health. Stuff like that builds up to the point in which a person becomes overwhelmed with their fantasy.

I'm in my 30's and engaged to another man. When picking a mate, I MADE SURE that he already fulfilled all of his fantasies; so now we have a much higher chance of having a healthy relationship with no regrets and all fleeting desires out of the way; and we all know what we want due to trying out everything we wanted to try out.

However, I do agree that everybody is their own individual with different limits; but the vast majority of humans can't hold in their sexual desires on a long-term basis without it eventually impacting their daily life. Some could hold out longer than others but it eventually happens.

by Anonymousreply 14809/09/2013

r148, no, perhaps that is the plight of a person who places sexual fantasies and impulses about other important factors such as morality, relationships, commitment, fidelity, and beliefs, but that is not the experience of many. Many, many married bisexuals are in monogamous marriages and fulfilled by those relationships. This notion that every impulse, desire, or inclination must be indulged in is pure hedonistic rationalization.

by Anonymousreply 14909/09/2013

l

by Anonymousreply 15009/13/2013

I've known 2 men who were openly bisexual and weren't pretending they were straight in public and gay in private. They didn't care what anyone thought and they were both great fucks. I've also known others who claimed to be bisexual but were obviously gay. True bisexuals do exist but they are few and far between.

by Anonymousreply 15109/15/2013

more

by Anonymousreply 15209/27/2013

[quote]I've known 2 men who were openly bisexual and weren't pretending they were straight in public and gay in private. They didn't care what anyone thought and they were both great fucks.

If I were President, I would invent a tool that vaporize all three of you homophobic assholes instantly.

by Anonymousreply 15409/27/2013

[quote]They didn't care what anyone thought and they were both great fucks.

I said this before, it has less to do with who they are having sex with, but the fact they just like having a lot of sex.

The truly bisexual guys Ive known were very physically attractive. My theory is that bisexual men are just very attractive people who also happen to be hyper-sexual. They use all the attention they get from both males and females to satisfy the hyper-sexuality.

People in Brazil don't even think twice about bisexuality, and it's a no brainer why they don't. They are considered some of the best looking people in world, so it makes sense that bisexuality is common there. Not saying that being hot goes hand in hand with being bi, but when you have more attractive people in one place, the chances that more of them are acting on their sexual compulsiveness is greater.

by Anonymousreply 15509/27/2013

154 Take your meds please

by Anonymousreply 15609/28/2013

r155, you are incorrect. that is a myth. Brazil is not some pansexual culture where open bisexuality is widely accepted. In fact, anti-gay violence is amongst the highest in the world, and attempts to pass gay rights laws have been stymied by a strong anti-gay population. Finally, Brazil has one of the largest and fastest growing evangelical populations in the nation, and projections indicate evangelicalism will outstrip Catholicism as the country's most prevalent faith in a couple of decades.

by Anonymousreply 15809/30/2013

Most of you have probably heard of the Kinsey Scale — a measure from zero (100 percent hetero) to six (100 percent gay) that determines a person’s perceived sexual orientation. A recent review of research on the matter, done by Ritch Savin-Williams at Cornell University, focused attention on the 1′s — those they are labeling “mostly heterosexual.”

What does that mean exactly? I’m picturing the guy in my acting class who admitted to getting a reach-around handjob from another dude once, but preferred girls. Oh, actors. I’m also thinking of a friend of mine who I brought with me to a dinner party. She wound up getting really drunk on Pinot and I found her in the backyard making out with a girl. Her boyfriend never found out. This is my loose understanding of being “mostly heterosexual.”

According to researchers, the “mostly heterosexual” group is so distinct that scientists are considering taking a more nuanced approach to their study of sexual orientation. Duh. But still, yay! Below, check out some things to know about those who fall in the “mostly heterosexual” category:

1. “Mostly heteros” are more attraction than action. The review found that both male and female “mostly heterosexuals” were more into people of the same sex than heteros, but less into them than bisexuals when it came to attraction, fantasy and sexual behavior. No surprise there. But the “mostly heterosexuals” tended more toward attraction than to action. Meaning, they were more likely to ogle someone of the same sex from afar or fantasize about them than to actually take them home and do the deed.

2. There are a lot of 1′s out there in the world. From 21 studies conducted in six countries, the average percentage of women who identify as “mostly heterosexual” is 7.6 – 9.5 percent and for men, it is about 3.6 – 4.1 percent. I’m not a numbers gal, but if Google is correct, that works out to about 150,000,000 million men who would be down to give a bj every once in a while. A little bit gay is great as far as I’m concerned. But my friends often accuse me of “thinking everyone is gay.” Basically, I’m right, they are. But only SOMETIMES. That’s the distinction.

3. They’re more stable over time than those who identify as bisexual. Data collected from three different studies found that about half of those who identified as “mostly heterosexual” in their adolescence still identified the same way as adults. This was a much higher percentage than those who identified as bisexual.

4. Those who identified as “mostly heterosexual” had consistent language to describe their orientation. Even though “mostly heterosexual” wasn’t a box to tick on they survey, those who came out to be 1′s on the Kinsey Scale used similar language when describing how they felt sexually. The men said things like: “Straight until the right guy comes along” or “Straight but not narrow.” The women said things like: “Eighty-five percent straight with only minor attraction to women” or “I’ll do sexual acts with a woman, but I’m not interested in women romantically.”

Do you identify as “mostly heterosexual?” Or some other shade of gay,straight or bi? Should we start petitioning for a bunch of more nuanced sexual orientations?

by Anonymousreply 15910/04/2013

What r3 said.

by Anonymousreply 16010/04/2013

re: Adults learn how to sacrifice their impulses and fleeting desires when they are in a relationships. You give up something to enter into a monogamous relationship, but that is part of what makes relationships special and good.

Maybe half of all adults. Look at the divorce rate for straights.

by Anonymousreply 16110/04/2013

k

by Anonymousreply 16210/17/2013

argely an invisible group in our society. However, there is evidence to suggest that they are not rare, only rarely identified. How these men perceive themselves, reconcile the ordinary aspects of their lives with their atypical sexuality, and conduct themselves in marriage and family life are the focus of this study. Particular attention is paid to two major paradoxes in their lives: the contradiction between their heterosexual public identity which places them comfortably in the mainstream of society and their stigmatized and forbidden homosexual desires and behavior; and the ethical issue of deceiving their wives as well as others to whom they are intimately related. Sixty men drawn from a non-clinical population presented their life stories in extended tape-recorded interviews. These men show great variations in their patterns of psychosexual development as well as in their accoMmodations to marriage and do not fit readily into simple categories. Most of them have found fulfillment and have no wish to change the pattern of their lives. In part, the study contrasts the more successful with the less successful marriages. A major conclusion is that some men are able to express with minimal conflict their homosexual and heterosexual impulses within the framework of a conventional marriage.

by Anonymousreply 16310/20/2013

OMG, the bi's on this thread seem to have a terrible command of English. I've had to give up reading their posts on several occasions, which is a shame because I'm actually interested in what they have to say.

by Anonymousreply 16410/20/2013

Well, the gay thing is just for occasional pleasure. If I can get stimulation from a woman, why go thru all the torment of being "gay"?

by Anonymousreply 16510/20/2013

Death to all closeted scum!

by Anonymousreply 16610/20/2013

[quote]OMG, the bi's on this thread seem to have a terrible command of English.

The bi's what?

by Anonymousreply 16710/20/2013

Wow some of you are like theologians arguing about the number of angels who can fit on the head of the pin. You make all classifiers seem like retired fusspots. I suppose no group is hated more on datalounge than people say they are "against labels," which seen as cowardly and closeted. But you bring this on yourself by your welter of definitions and hair-splitting. I think the answer to all this is people can call themselves whatever they want, but other people can call them whatever they want: that nobody has a right to control what label others use of their sexuality, and that 99% of the difficulties surrounding sexuality stem from this desire to force people to accept their own categorization scheme.

by Anonymousreply 16810/20/2013

[quote]other people can call them whatever they want

NOT THE "N" WORD

by Anonymousreply 16910/20/2013

"fusspots?"

by Anonymousreply 17010/22/2013

c

by Anonymousreply 17111/02/2013

R173, you sound retarded, maybe that should be your identification.

by Anonymousreply 17511/02/2013

R173, you can't be "a gay guy who identifies as straight" unless you start eating vagina. You make no sense. You don't like yourself and you never will unless you accept that You. Are. Not. A. Straight. Man. No. Matter. How. Many. Times. You. Tell. Yourself. You. Are.

Pathetic is what you are, really. If you're straight, you should be posting to some sports forum, not a forum for men who like to suck each other's dicks.

by Anonymousreply 17711/02/2013

You're just as mental in R178 as you were in R173. Do you use that brain for a living by day? I can't see how.

by Anonymousreply 17911/02/2013

c

by Anonymousreply 18011/04/2013

r176, I'm bi too, and ID as such because it's just who I am.

I understand why people wouldn't want to ID as what they are (even if I don't agree with the reasons), but I don't get people actually thinking they are straight or gay when they are sexually attracted to both sides.

I'm in poor health and have no life, so the partner thing isn't an issue.

by Anonymousreply 18111/05/2013

Bi dude here. Never dated a dude, only been with two

by Anonymousreply 18211/09/2013

Bi dude here

by Anonymousreply 18311/15/2013

This is what bi dudes really want:

by Anonymousreply 18411/15/2013

I am bi leaning more to gay side. I wish to find a Bi man so i can marry him. bcz it open the chances of doing an MMF if sometimes he wants a muff LOL.

But i would definately describe myself like proper house- wife cooking nice food and cleaning everything. LOL and be romantic in evening. sleeping in bed giving massage... etc.. I really hope i find some masculine fit bi guy. as i am so much into fitness/bodybuilding.

by Anonymousreply 18511/16/2013

interesting video

by Anonymousreply 18611/22/2013

Bi but identify as straight. Only been with one dude once

by Anonymousreply 18711/30/2013

Most bi dudes don't identify as bisexual. Many of them just say they are "open to dudes" or date without limits.

by Anonymousreply 18912/03/2013

Today at 11:57 AM

When Will Men Be Okay Exploring Same-Sex Experiences?

By now, there’s an established celebrity “coming out” narrative. You sit down with a morning talk-show host or write a blog post saying that you’re in love with someone who shares your gender. Your true fans profess their continued devotion, LGBT rights groups and opinion writers applaud you, and while you’ll get some hate mail, most people are relieved to finally have you “figured out” — especially if your sexuality has been the subject of tabloid speculation.

This doesn't quite apply, however, when you reveal you’re dating a man but insist you’re still attracted to women. “Of course I still fancy girls,” said British diver Tom Daley last week. “But, I mean, right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier.” There were some standard-issue homophobic reactions (which Buzzfeed and HuffPost obligingly collected), but Daley also elicited a more specific sort of disapproval from certain fans — biphobia, the Advocate called it. These were the people who assumed Daley was gay but unable to fully admit it, or unwilling to relinquish the privileges of being straight. He was called greedy and accused of trying to have it all. (Which is baffling. It’s not as if he’s dating six people at once.) By contrast, a few days before Daley’s announcement, actress Maria Bello published an op-ed revealing she was in love with a woman after years of dating (and marrying) men. While the headlines were conflicted — some said she’d come out as gay, other said she was bi — her son summed it up best: “Mom, love is love, whatever you are.” The idea of a woman being legitimately attracted to both men and other women was heartwarming rather than confusing.

When coming out as not-totally-heterosexual, the rules are different for men and women. Perhaps this is because we’ve had plenty of cultural cues — like chart-topping hit songs about girls kissing girls — and academic research to acclimate us to the idea of women’s fluid sexuality. A new British study found a fourfold increase over the past twenty years in the number of women who’ve gotten it on with another woman, and 15 percent of American women vs. only 8 percent of men say they’ve had a same-sex hookups. Research on women’s sexual desires (as opposed to their behavior) reveals the female libido to be, in the words of author Daniel Bergner, “omnivorous.” When researcher Meredith Chivers showed women clips of erotica — women with women, men with men, men with women, lone men or women masturbating, a pair of fornicating apes — everything made their vaginas pulse. There were some variations between straight women and lesbians, and among women of all sexual identities. But while women may not admit it to researchers or even acknowledge it to themselves, we’re basically turned on by everything.

“Women have a greater capacity for gender-fluid sexual expression than men do,” Chivers told Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon. Indeed, men’s physical responses track much more closely with what they report their sexual identity to be. Straight men are turned on by women and not men; gay men are turned on by men and not women. While there will always be those who argue that this is because of biological differences, there are strong cultural factors at play. Probably thanks to “lesbian until graduation” stereotypes and “I Kissed a Girl”-style odes to superficial experimentation, we’re more comfortable with women whose sexuality is harder to define. “Acceptance of bisexual women hinges in part on straight men's fetishization of it," says a friend of mine who has dated both men and women. "My male friends were endlessly curious about the dirty details of my same-sex relationship." In a Pew Research Center survey of LGBT Americans this summer, 33 percent said there was “a lot of social acceptance” of bisexual women; only 8 percent said the same of bisexual men.

My guess is that as taboos and strict sexual categories begin to fall away, men will be more willing to explore same-sex relationships and hookups — and be more willing to admit

by Anonymousreply 19012/06/2013

yu

by Anonymousreply 19112/09/2013

for the sake of argument, let's just say there ARE bi guys but there is no way in hell they like men and women equally...just like noone likes vanilla and chocolate equally. usually, there's one they lean toward just a little bit more. if a guy is bi, he's only identifying as bi because he can't fully come out as gay.

by Anonymousreply 19212/09/2013

I'm convinced I'm bisexual because I feel attracted to men. However I've never acted on it, don't think I could get into anal with guys. So yeah I identify as straight.

by Anonymousreply 19312/09/2013

r193 = typical lying bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 19412/09/2013

I believe bisexuality exists in men; I'm friends with a few guys who identify as bisexual and from knowing them well over several years I don't doubt they are capable of genuine sexual attraction to females and males. That said, unfortunately from my (firsthand) experience many bi men do seem to have hang ups that gay guys generally don't about relationships that make trying to date them a nightmare. The only bisexual guy I've known who wasn't a head case about relationships in some way is my best friend but he's very honest about knowing what his feelings are and is more self-aware than most.

by Anonymousreply 19512/09/2013

[quote] However I've never acted on it, don't think I could get into anal with guys. So

Anal is far from a common denominator, honeybunch. You have any type of sex, even making out, with a guy and that makes you at least bi, got it, bunky?

by Anonymousreply 19612/09/2013

The sexuality dichotomy is strong this week.

Monday, Olympic diver Tom Daley said he had been involved in a relationship with Dustin LeBlanc for some time. Most headlines read: “Tom Daley comes out as gay.”

Daley said he has also been involved in heterosexual relationships.

But he’s not completely straight, so he must be gay.

A day prior, actress Maria Bello said she is currently involved in a serious relationship with another woman. Headlines read: “Maria Bello is gay.”

In fact, one headline actually asserts that she is gay just before clarifying that Bello considers herself a “whatever.”

It’s safe to assume Bello uses “whatever” to mean she does not want to adhere to any particular label, which is perfectly reasonable.

But she’s not straight, so she must be gay.

Too often, the media and the masses are quick to dismiss bisexuality. People write it off as either an experimental or transitional phase or as a qualifier to cover up someone’s homosexuality.

Bisexuals are seen as overtly sexual or slutty, as wanting to sleep with everyone. But that makes as much sense as assuming gay men want to sleep with every man. It’s nonsense.

This dismissal and stigmatization of bisexuality is referred to as biphobia, and it works the same way as homophobia.

In two popular YouTube videos, “What Lesbians think about Bisexuals” and “What Gay Men think about Bisexuals,” an overwhelming majority of those interviewed said they would not date someone who identifies as bisexual. Many said bisexuals (of both genders) are liars and greedy.

And it isn’t as though media representation is doing them any favors. In one episode of The L Word, a television drama depicting lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people in their everyday lives, one character referred to a bisexual character as “a dirty bisexual” and prompted her to choose already between men and women.

That might explain why so many people think anyone married or in a committed relationship can’t be bisexual.

The one bisexual character on the sci-fi program Doctor Who is depicted as a textbook nymphomaniac, hitting on every person he meets.

Representation isn’t representation if it isn’t accurate.

Could it be that biphobia and the general aversion to any form of sexual ambiguity are reactions to fear of one’s own hidden fantasies?

Margaret Mead once said, “I think extreme heterosexuality is a perversion.” Could it be the case that extreme homosexuality as well as heterosexuality is a perversion? That maybe everyone is at least a little bit bisexual?

If that’s the case, it makes sense that people who identify as strictly straight or strictly gay would oppose bisexuality so vehemently.

Or maybe biphobia comes from the hegemonic masculinity so deeply ingrained in our society.

For instance, as a bisexual friend of mine pointed out, “If a man is bi, he is assumed to be gay … If a girl is bi, she is assumed to be straight and experimenting.”

In both cases, people assume bisexuals love men.

If that isn’t proof that bisexuality has been warped to fit the patriarchal mold, then what is? Does everything have to revolve around penis?

Bisexual men defy prescribed gender roles. From a misogynistic point of view, they are a threat to masculinity.

In reality, bisexual people have no more of a choice over their sexuality than do straight or gay people. Discriminating against them is pointless and harmful. It needs to stop.

by Anonymousreply 19712/22/2013

[quote]Bisexuals are seen as overtly sexual or slutty, as wanting to sleep with everyone. But that makes as much sense as assuming gay men want to sleep with every man.

It's not that they're overly slutty. It's that they do not take same sex relationships seriously. I can't blame them entirely, because if I was equally attracted to men and women I'd make my heterosexual relationships the serious ones. It's easier. But it does not change the fact that gay men and women are still ranked lower than their opposite sex loves - as long as society ranks us lower, bisexuals will rank us lower as well! So to gay men and women I say: go ahead and fuck em, but don't date them! Your are expendable to bisexuals and you better believe that.

by Anonymousreply 19812/23/2013

yep

by Anonymousreply 19901/27/2014

what does "open" mean?

by Anonymousreply 20102/25/2014

If you slept with both genders or want both genders sexually then you are Bi. Case closed. Anyone can identify as anything. Words are just words. Actions are what matters. It's not possible to be "Straight" if you sleep with men.

by Anonymousreply 20202/25/2014

Interesting replies and articles in this thread. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 20302/25/2014

Most bi guys seem to be gay and afraid to admit it. I don't doubt that bisexual men exist but I wouldn't be surprised if a large portion of them only say they're bi so they have opportunities to pass as straight.

by Anonymousreply 20402/25/2014

R204, most bisexual males are not gay, but married to women (on whom they are often cheating with men), and they want to do everything in their power to cultivate a "heterosexual" image that's as far removed from anything gay as possible. Some of the most homophobic, self-hating and conflicted about same sex attraction individuals there are, are bisexual men.

Some bisexual men might be predominantly homosexual, but they still harbor the desire to marry a woman and conform to society's heteronormative dictates. There isn't a single bisexual male who places equal importance on relationships with men as they do with women, and the majority of bisexual men in relationships with other men, are only making time before they find the woman they want to marry.

Bisexual people and gay people only share one thing in common: same sex attraction. In everything else, we are very different and we should never, ever mix romantically, or be lumped together as the members of a "community". Bisexual people do not share the same struggles as us gay people, and their rights are never impinged in any way.

That's why they should look for their own spaces and build their own community, instead of taking advantage of gay people when it suits them, and throwing us to the curb whenever they can, or want to express their heterosexual side.

by Anonymousreply 20502/25/2014

I'm not bisexual. I am a red-blooded, tobacco chewing, kick arse movie-leading, girlfriend-wielding, fully heterosexual male. And the press KNOWS it.

I have NEVER, against all evidence, watched gay porn or even heard the word gay or known of the existence of gay people, because I'm super macho sort of chap... Unless Lee Pace and Richard Armitage want a three way, in which case I get heterosexually sandwiched between those two faggots.

Why would anyone want to identify of bisexual or gay, when those things do not exist?

by Anonymousreply 20603/01/2014

That's bullshit R205 and it's hypocritical biphobia on your part. I'm bisexual and I'm partnered to a man and neither of us cheated on our previous girlfriends/wives, or ex-boyfriends, and our relationship to each other is just as important as our relationships with our girlfriends or wives were, and we are legally married to each other since same gender marriage is legal in our state. Yes bisexuals have and still do fight for gay/LGBT rights and have for decades. Biphobia like what you posted is just as bad and just as hypocritical as homophobia is.

by Anonymousreply 20703/04/2014

bi men exist. i work in health care and have met many men that get blow jobs or fuck men and then have totally "straight" lives. sure, some are confused and pressured to live a certain way but many of the men I have met (and slept with…I am gay) truly love sex with men and women. i dont see why some gays are so negative regarding this subject. there are straight men that LOVE women and pussy and will never try or want to be bicurious. THE KINSEY SCALE EXISTS, PEOPLE.

by Anonymousreply 20803/04/2014

true!

by Anonymousreply 20903/05/2014

Truth: the vast majority of bi men see gay men=sex and women=relationships. That's just the way it is. The sooner we, as gay men, accept this the happier we will be. So have fun with bi guys but if you want a relationship steer clear, that way lies heartbreak.

by Anonymousreply 21003/06/2014

Let's not forget R210 that the majority of gay men do not want a relationship or partnership and just want to have sex or be fuck buddies.

by Anonymousreply 21103/06/2014

I enjoyed sex with women until I had sex with a man. Never jumped back to the other side and I never will.

by Anonymousreply 21203/06/2014

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

by Anonymousreply 21303/06/2014

I'm a heterophobic Bi man so i definitely do not identify as straight.

by Anonymousreply 21403/06/2014

I'm bisexual and identify as such, so do the other bisexual men I know, and we're out.

by Anonymousreply 21503/06/2014

You know how it is when you're driving down the road and you see an attractive person on the appropriate gender walking by and you just want to run them over, take them to your sound-proofed underground abattoir, and slowly vivisect them for your sexual pleasure?

Well if you are bisexual then you want to run them over before you can tell what gender they are.

by Anonymousreply 21603/07/2014

I did a poll awhile back, we have a lot of bisexual guys here, almost more than gay men.

by Anonymousreply 21703/07/2014

'

by Anonymousreply 21803/07/2014

R205 There's a lot of truth to that. Yes, a lot of homophobic men are the ones with some homosexuality in them, some same-sex attraction. I noticed that too.

by Anonymousreply 21903/07/2014

I had a friend who liked a bit of guy with his wife. He and her had me join them in bed a few times and we'd double fuck her. I could see and hear how much he enjoyed that. He also liked to have me bangin her and then put his head down between us and oralize us both with his tongue.

by Anonymousreply 22003/08/2014

Oralize?

by Anonymousreply 22103/08/2014

Two out of three dentist prefer Oralize

by Anonymousreply 22203/08/2014

ha ha funny shit

by Anonymousreply 22303/09/2014

Hot buff masculine bisexual dudes: Send me your number, bros!!!!

by Anonymousreply 22405/02/2014

Bi dude, but only date chicks

by Anonymousreply 22505/04/2014

[all posts by childish idiot removed]

by Anonymousreply 22605/04/2014

R225 is one of our resident porn addicts and a right wing shitstain. Poor ting is bumping years old porn threads.

by Anonymousreply 22705/04/2014

H

by Anonymousreply 22805/05/2014

So what have we learned here? Bi men date chicks but fuck guys?

by Anonymousreply 22905/07/2014

I think you've got it!

by Anonymousreply 23005/07/2014

At a time when gay rights have made stunning strides, and gays and lesbians have become far more willing to come out, the vast majority of bisexuals remains closeted, a Pew Research Center survey revealed last month.

Only 28 percent of bisexuals said most or all of the important people in their lives knew about their sexual orientation, compared to 71 percent of lesbians and 77 percent of gay men, Pew found. The numbers were especially small among bisexual men: Only 12 percent said they were out to that degree, compared to one-third of bisexual women who said the same.

Closeted bisexuals told the Los Angeles Times that they had avoided coming out because they didn’t want to deal with misconceptions that bisexuals were indecisive or incapable of monogamy — stereotypes that exist among straights, gays and lesbians alike.

The stereotypes make some reluctant to use the word, even after they come out. Laura McGinnis, communications director for the Trevor Project, an LGBT-youth suicide-prevention group, said she was 29 or 30 before she would readily share that she was bisexual or actively correct someone who thought otherwise.

“I hated the label because the assumption is that you’re sleeping around,” said McGinnis, now raising a child with her wife.

Such assumptions could make being out at work especially difficult: Only 11 percent of bisexual people polled by Pew said most of their closest co-workers knew about their sexual orientation, compared to 48 percent of gay men and 50 percent of lesbians.

Bisexuals were also less likely than gay men and lesbians to say their workplaces were accepting of them, Pew found. In a separate study published in the Journal of Bisexuality, half of bisexual people surveyed said their gay and straight co-workers misunderstood bisexuality.

“Bisexuals are thought to be confused, opportunistic and unable to make commitments — and those aren’t the kinds of things you want to see in an employee,” said Denise Penn, vice president of the American Institute of Bisexuality, a nonprofit that funds research.

LGBT community reacts

Inside the gay community, bisexual people are often seen as more privileged than gays and lesbians, able to duck discrimination by entering into straight relationships.

Far more bisexuals are in relationships with people of the opposite sex than the same sex, Pew found. They are less likely than gay men and lesbians to have weathered slurs or attacks, been rejected by friends or family or treated unfairly at work, its survey showed.

Yet researchers and activists say bisexuals face another set of frustrations, sometimes shunned by the gay and lesbian community and the straight world alike.

Bisexual women complain they are leered at by straight men and rejected by some lesbians as sexual “tourists” who will abandon them for men. Bisexual men, in turn, struggle to persuade men and women alike that they aren’t just gay men with one foot in the closet. Both are stereotyped as oversexed swingers who cannot be trusted.

“Women would say, ‘I don’t date your kind,’ ” said Mimi Hoang, who helped form bisexual groups in Los Angeles. Such reactions left her frustrated. “I had nothing against lesbians. I thought I could find camaraderie with people who were also sexual minorities.”

Bisexual activists lament the “B” is overlooked by LGBT organizations that provide little programming specifically for them. Pew found that bisexuals — especially men — were less likely to have belonged to such groups. More than half said they have only a few LGBT friends or none at all.

Researchers believe such isolation may have dire results. Some studies have found that bisexual people are at greater risk of emotional woes than people who are gay, lesbian or straight: Bisexual women are more likely to binge drink and suffer depression, a George Mason University study found.

A Kent State University study of bisexual women found that they were more likely than straight or lesbian women to harm themselves or endure suicidal thoughts. Other studies have also cited higher risks for bisexual men.

“I think these problems are coming from two places,” said Northwestern University human sexuality researcher Allen Rosenthal. “The absence of a bisexual community and the psychological stress of being in the closet.”

Activists say bisexuals have two closets — a straight and a gay one.

While a gay man might casually mention his husband, or a lesbian might out herself by talking about her girlfriend, bisexuals are often wrongly assumed to be straight or gay depending on whom they are with. Spelling out that they are bisexual can be misconstrued as rejecting a current partner or declaring themselves up for anything.

Not viewed as a phase

University of Utah research backs up the argument that bisexuality is not just a phase: Though 62 percent of gay men once identified as bisexual, nearly as many bisexual men — 56 percent — had once said they were gay, professor Lisa Diamond found. More women switched from calling themselves lesbian to calling themselves bisexual than vice versa.

Though surveys show bisexuals rival or exceed gays and lesbians in number, experts say there is still little known about bisexuals because studies often group them with gay men and lesbians.

While research lags, reality may already be changing: Younger people seem more at ease with bisexuality, adopting alternative labels such as “pansexual” or shrugging off labels completely, McGinnis said.

Northwestern University researcher Brian Mustanski said unlike earlier studies, his research showed bisexual youth were less likely to suffer mental disorders than gay and lesbian youth — a possible sign of growing acceptance of sexual fluidity.

But there’s still a long way to go, said Ellyn Ruthstrom, president of the Bisexual Resource Center in Boston.

In the middle of a pride parade, “I’ve had people shout out to me, ‘When are you going to come out?’ ” she said. “Excuse me? We’re marching in a pride parade. How out is that?

by Anonymousreply 23105/20/2014

bi

by Anonymousreply 23206/17/2014

[quote] More than half said they have only a few LGBT friends or none at all.

This "result" does not compute with this result.

[quote]Though 62 percent of gay men once identified as bisexual, nearly as many bisexual men — 56 percent — had once said they were gay, professor Lisa Diamond found.

Why would they say they were gay if they had no gay friends? Answer: they didn't. They lied. I believe that 62 percent of gays once thought of themselves as bisexual. I don't believe 56 percent, I don't believe 5 percent of bisexuals ever said they were gay. The first result says it all: most bisexuals are gays who don't know any other gays yet.

by Anonymousreply 23306/17/2014

d

by Anonymousreply 23406/19/2014

Bi, just identity as "open"

by Anonymousreply 23507/24/2014

off-grid sexual being

by Anonymousreply 23607/24/2014

Bi dudes are hot

by Anonymousreply 23708/16/2014

Bi men are liars. Drop the B.

by Anonymousreply 23808/16/2014

I consider myself straight. I only seek and find women attractive irl, occasionaly a mans body is nice I like the porn, but I only like women. I think I just have an EXTREMELY high sex drive. in all honesty of all guys ive met im probably the straightest one I know, most males have very gay tendencies and seem to LOOOVE penises(while pretending to be grossed ut by them).

by Anonymousreply 23908/16/2014

Few bisexual dudes identify as such. Most think of themselves as straight.

by Anonymousreply 24009/06/2014

Bi men identify as straight because otherwise they know women won't want them. Same with bi women who identify as lesbians not to get kicked out of lesbians' bedrooms.

The surefire way to make a woman dry / sexually repulsed is the idea that the person in her bed enjoys sucking on a cock.

The bis know this, so they lie.

by Anonymousreply 24109/06/2014

I'm a bi total top of 43. I find I get tons of twink tail when I travel by posing as straight. The young ones love it.

In relationships, I have always been honest. I am 60/40 guys to girls. It depends on the direction of the wind I guess.

by Anonymousreply 24209/07/2014

So what else am I to think?

Sydney author Brooke Hemphill has written a book about her “year of living as a lesbian,” according to an article on the Daily Mail site.

You see, apparently she identified as heterosexual until she found herself indulging in sexual activities with a woman, and then another . . .

Now she is saying that if she had to apply a label to herself, it would be bisexual.

Yup, that sounds about right, speaking as one bisexual person to another.

But the title of her book is Lesbian for a Year, which may be making some lesbians for life somewhat uncomfortable, along with other members of the LGBT community, who “have been offended by the book’s title, suggesting it simplifies the often complex issue of sexuality by implying it’s a choice,” the Daily Mail article says.

Brooke says the book is about her sexual experiences and its aim ” is to open up a dialogue about tolerance and acceptance of different sexualities,” the article says.

She also says “it was not her intention to upset and did not want to detract from other’s sexual experiences, but instead hoped it would open up the discussion about the fluidity of sexuality,” according to the Daily Mail.

So, why isn’t the book called, say, Bisexual for a Year (and for Life)?

Because Lesbian for a Year is “a pretty catchy title,” she is quoted as saying.

So, I guess this just reinforces the incorrect stereotype: if a bisexual woman has a relationship with a woman, it’s a lesbian relationship. If she has a relationship with a man, it’s a heterosexual relationship.

So, when exactly is she a bisexual — when she has a threesome with a man and a woman?

But I digress. Regular readers know what I am saying: Once again, it seems that bisexual orientation is given short shrift for the sake of sexy click-bait (and book-selling) headlines.

Because real lesbians generally aren’t bisexuals, ya know . . .

Or maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe Brooke and I are hetero lesbian bisexuals.

– Jillian

by Anonymousreply 24309/10/2014

R244 just fuck off. No self-respecting gay guy would want you. So sick of bi men who cling to heterosexual privilege and patronise gay men/diss gay relationships and the gay experience.

by Anonymousreply 24509/28/2014

R245, dearest....he's said he's never been with a guy.

Don't get your knickers in a twist!

[quote]I consider myself straight. I only seek and find women attractive irl, occasionaly a mans body is nice I like the porn, but I only like women. I think I just have an EXTREMELY high sex drive. in all honesty of all guys ive met im probably the straightest one I know, most males have very gay tendencies and seem to LOOOVE penises(while pretending to be grossed ut by them).

SUCH nonsense!

by Anonymousreply 24609/29/2014

Teens who identify as bisexual are experiencing lower levels of social and family acceptance than their gay and lesbian peers, according to a new study.

The Human Rights Commission surveyed 10,030 LGBTQ teens about their happiness, support, drug and alcohol use, and their sense of belonging.

Share This Story

In the survey 3,808 participants (38 percent) identified as bisexual and only 10 percent of those bisexual teens felt they "definitely fit in" with their communities.

Bisexual youth surveyed by the Human Rights Commission were reportedly less likely to be out to their families, friends, peers and communities. They also reported lower levels of happiness and were much less optimistic about achieving their ambitions.

The results of the survey suggest that people have a lack of knowledge of or do not understand the bisexual community.

"My parents aren't homophobic, but, when it comes to me, they aren't accepting at all," one teen told the Human Rights Commission. "They say I can't be bi. I have to be gay or straight."

Some bisexual teens also notice a lack of understanding of their peers.

"When I tell males about my sexuality, I get many remarks like 'that's so hot,' which I feel like fetishizes my sexual orientation," another teen told the Human Rights Commission.

The lack of understanding of the bisexual orientation even appears to exist within the LGBTQ (Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual, Questioning/Queer) community.

"As a bisexual, I feel shunned by the gay and lesbian community," one teen confesses to the Human Rights Commission.

Although many teens suffer with people accepting their bisexuality, there are a lot of celebrities who are openly bisexual and trying to educate people on the orientation such as Meghan Fox, Angelina Jolie, Andy Dick, Drew Barrymore, Clive Davis and Billie Joe Armstrong.

"It's ingrained in our heads that it's bad, when it's not bad at all. It's a very beautiful thing," Billie Joe Armstrong told The Advocate when he came out to them in 1995.

The Human Rights Commission says educating yourself is the first step someone should take in order to become an ally for bisexual youth.

by Anonymousreply 24710/01/2014

Openly bisexual males who are openly bisexual in all facets of their life identify as bisexual. Closeted bisexual or gay men identify as "straight". They are cowards.

by Anonymousreply 24810/01/2014

d

by Anonymousreply 24911/01/2014

You get a lot of closeted guys in that 35-55 age group because they came of age when AIDS was still a death sentence and gay men were stigmatized because of it. (And a million other things, but AIDS caused otherwise liberal-minded straights to get kind of crazy.)

So a lot of the ones who could went "straight" out of fear of dying and now that things are a little looser, they say they're "bi" because they are married to a woman and then eventually maybe they acknowledge that they're really gay.

There are men who develop emotional and sexual relations with both sexes, but they're pretty rare and while guys are usually pretty happy to hook up with a part-time lesbian, most straight women aren't going to have anything to do with a guy who sometimes likes cock.

by Anonymousreply 25011/01/2014

Bi dude here who identified publicly as straight, only been with one dude

by Anonymousreply 25111/02/2014

[252]exactly

by Anonymousreply 25311/03/2014

I'm only interested in bi dudes. More masculine, athletic, and "dudely.."

by Anonymousreply 25411/03/2014

"Understanding Issues Facing Bisexual Americans," reveals striking disparities in poverty, employment, violence & health outcomes experienced by the bisexual community compared to their gay and lesbian peers and the heterosexual community.

The report, which was developed by the Movement Advancement Project, BiNet USA and the Bisexual Resource Center, and released last month, utilized academic and medical studies to inform its conclusions and suggestions for improving services focused on bisexuals.

The report notes, of the more than 9 million LGBT people in the United States, more than half identify as bisexual, making bisexuals the largest sector of the LGBT community.

"Despite comprising the largest population within the LGBT community, bisexual people are among the most invisible," said Ineke Mushovic, executive director of the Movement Advancement Project. "The failure to account for bisexual lives and experiences compounds a lack of social support and keeps bisexual people in the closet."

The report notes one reason bisexuals may face higher rates of poverty, unemployment, negative health outcomes and violence is because bisexual people face discrimination from within the LGBT community as well as from non-LGBT people.

Driving that point home is data from the 2008 General Social Survey, which found 25 percent of bisexual people have never told anyone they are bisexual, compared to just 4 percent of gay men and lesbians.

Heron Greenesmith, LGBT movement and policy analyst at the Movement Advancement Project, said while there was little that was surprising to her in the report much of the information is saddening.

"I think health is one of the most striking disparities, particularly around mental health," she said. "Bi folks have a high rate of suicidal ideation. One study we cited found bisexual folks were four times more likely to report attempted suicide than straight folks.

"A second study we quoted found that bi men were 6.3 times more likely to consider suicide in their lifetime than straight men."

She said a third study from the Journal of Adolescent Health that looked at teenagers found bi teens who reported suicidal thoughts didn't report a decrease in those thoughts when they aged into adulthood, unlike their straight peers.

"I thought the rates of intimate partner violence were very depressing, especially compared to lesbian women and straight women," Greenesmith said. "[By] almost 20 percentage points, more bi women have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner."

She also said poverty differences were striking.

"It was saddening to find so many bi folks live in poverty compared to gay men and lesbian women, especially the public assistance part was surprising," she said.

According to the report, approximately 25 percent of bisexual men and 30 percent of bisexual women live in poverty, and bisexual women are more likely to depend on food stamps.

The report also highlights the increased harassment bisexuals who come out at work face in comparison to their gay and lesbian peers.

Faith Cheltenham, president of BiNet USA, shared her personal story in the report.

"Nearly every single time I've come out as a bisexual woman in the workplace, I've experienced severe sexual harassment," Cheltenham said. "Coworkers have made inappropriate jokes, made sexual advances, and shown me sexually graphic photos. I've had several jobs where I felt unsafe."

She said when she approached human resources about the harassment she received little support, if any.

"One told me that I brought harassment upon myself simply because

I was out," she said. "Another said that my experience didn't qualify as sexual harassment because I am bisexual."

The purpose of "Understanding Issues Facing Bisexual Americans" is to motivate change and improve the lives and experiences of bisexuals, according to the report.

The report includes recommendations in three areas: cultural competence, visibility and data collection.

Under cultural competence, the report suggests bi-specific trainings for service providers to help them feel more comfortable working with bisexual clients.

"Therapists must understand that the experiences of clients who identify as bisexual can be much different from the experiences of their lesbian and gay clients," the report says.

In addition to offering services geared towards bisexuals, organizations need to make sure those services are visible.

"More and more organizations are realizing that they need specific resources and programming for bisexual people," said Cheltenham. "Cultural competence and deliberate and thoughtful visibility will support the bisexual community and combat stigma and discrimination against bisexual people."

Finally, there is a dearth of studies focused specifically on the bisexual community, making research and accurate data collection a must.

The report notes when researching the LGBT community its important not to confuse sexual orientation and gender identity.

"Surveys that ask if a person identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender risk conflating a person's gender identity with their sexual orientation. … Conflating gender identity and sexual orientation also fails to count transgender people who identify as bisexual, lesbian, gay or straight," the report pointed out.

by Anonymousreply 25512/02/2014

So, apparently, bisexual people are the true victims of the LGBT community, even though they are usually comfortably invisible and shamelessly homophobic - not to mention that they will rapidly drop gay people if they get the chance to be accepted by heterosexuals.

I fully agree with the idea that bisexual people should be separate from gay people. Also, if they are a majority, let them work their own issues for themselves. Why should we gay people use our hard-earned rights to fight for people who have never done anything for us?

by Anonymousreply 25612/02/2014

[quote]So, apparently, bisexual people are the true victims of the LGBT community, even though they are usually comfortably invisible and shamelessly homophobic - not to mention that they will rapidly drop gay people if they get the chance to be accepted by heterosexuals.

Very true for some. Absolutely. A very smart gay engineer needs to invent a giant ray gun and vaporize these people. That would make life much more enjoyable.

by Anonymousreply 25712/02/2014

l

by Anonymousreply 25801/13/2015

I have two bisexual male friends. One I have never heard identify himself as anything seems to like having sex with both sexes equally. He is now a widower. I've known of relationships he's had with both sexes.

The other guy, also married, and attracted to both sexes, told me one night he had never figured out what he was. He and his wife are separated and then he dated another woman for a long time. He was very broken up when she left him and tried to get her to take him back. I know nothing about any relationships he's had with men.

by Anonymousreply 25901/13/2015

Yes and yes, dude

by Anonymousreply 26001/13/2015

Ok

by Anonymousreply 26101/27/2015

I am mostly straight. only certain guys get me going. In all honesty I find men pretty gross in both appearance and behavior. I also find most as in just about all, "straight" guys VERY gay. "oh im just fuckin around", yeah im sure you are behind closed doors as well.

by Anonymousreply 26201/27/2015

ok

by Anonymousreply 26301/27/2015

No I don't identify as straight. I could if I wanted to, but it's too much like lying for my liking.

by Anonymousreply 26401/27/2015

So far 2015 has been an interesting year in the media for guys who are attracted to guys but aren’t gay. (If you can follow that, which I barely can).

First, there was the debut of TLC’s “My Husband’s Not Gay,” a television special about four same-sex-attracted men who are married to women to reject “the homosexual lifestyle” (which might also explain their wardrobe choices). Then, this past Saturday, “SNL”‘s Pete Davidson tackled the issue of “high sexuality” in a Weekend Update. The topic of online security was broached, before veering into an unexpected discussion about how when Davidson gets high on marijuana, he gets same-sex attractions counter to his usual hetero inclination.

The term “high sexuality,” meaning straight-identifying men getting gay urges when stoned, comes from a Reddit thread started in December of last year, titled “Weed Makes Me Temporarily Gay, Anyone Else?” A user posed a question about his discovering same-sex attraction under the influence of pot (but never when sober) and asked if anyone else had that experience.

A helpful user replied: “My circle calls this Highsexualism.”

“You sir, are possibly a highsexual. If the parties involved are down AND on the same wavelength, whatever. When it has occurred it’s never been a big deal.”

High sexuality has been in the Urban Dictionary since 2009, but it’s probably no coincidence that as marijuana legalization continues, it’s now coming to the forefront in a more significant way. Will Colorado have to invest in high-sexuality education and acceptance programs? Has Amsterdam long known of this phenomenon but kept it a secret? Can you really be a “high sexual,” or are you just gay (or bi) and unwilling to embrace it without a little help from Mary Jane?

by Anonymousreply 26501/27/2015

bisexual males identify as Gay.

by Anonymousreply 26601/28/2015

r246 How is that nonsense?

by Anonymousreply 26701/28/2015

I'm a bi dude, went to prom with a girl in high school. I don't understand why bi bros get such a bad rap. We like dick just like you do. Cut us some slack.

by Anonymousreply 26801/28/2015

[quote]I'm a bi dude, went to prom with a girl in high school.

I think this is the reason. "Bi dudes" project to the world a "heterosexuality" that isn't really there.

[quote]We like dick just like you do.

This is another reason. "Sucking dick" isn't what makes me gay or you bisexual. Homosexuality or bisexuality isn't a fetish or sex act. It's who you are as a person.

by Anonymousreply 26901/28/2015

thank you so much, r269. There are millions of men who have sex with and/or attracted to men who never suck a penis.

by Anonymousreply 27001/28/2015

I would have to say I'm a bisexual male who identifies as gay. I'm attracted to women periodically, and have had relationships with them in the past even while being "out" as gay for a very long time. I'm with my partner (male) for 14 years now, and I just call myself gay because it's easier and really does reflect the life that I lead.

I understand the need to politically acknowledge bisexuality, but I feel like, in my case, it's just a technicality. My sexuality is what it is, but the life I'm leading can really only be described as gay.

by Anonymousreply 27101/28/2015

Im technically bi but I identify as gay. I will fuck women but not enter in a serious relationship with them. I just love the way pussy feels but that's it dont want to deal with annoying women. But with men i love dick and i have serious relationships with them.So since I prefer men and most likely will settle with one I, identify as gay so it makes things less complicated.

by Anonymousreply 27201/28/2015

I will be 50 in a few months. Back in my teens/early 20's (early-late 1980s), I used to date both. I always dated girls in public and guys on the Q.T. - Finally, circa 1986, I just stopped pretending that I had interest in women sexually and I have been gay and proud ever since.

by Anonymousreply 27301/28/2015

Bisexuals like 271 and 272 needlessly confuse the issue (and everyone else) strictly for their own selfish convenience.

by Anonymousreply 27401/28/2015

[quote]Bisexuals like 271 and 272 needlessly confuse the issue (and everyone else) strictly for their own selfish convenience.

How is it confusing? Are you posting from a special needs home?

by Anonymousreply 27501/28/2015

I've had anal sex with my best male friend, but consider myself straight.

by Anonymousreply 27601/28/2015

My friend, who is SUPER gay, was married to a woman. Who he had sex with. NO ONE would ever call him straight. Ever. He is gay, gay, GAY.

I have another friend who is super straight, shows no interest in men, but did 'experiment' with me when we were in college. Once.

Neither of them are 'bisexual'. Some gay men are CAPABLE of sex with a woman. Some straight men are CAPABLE of sex with a man. Neither the gay man or the straight man may like it. But it is possible.

Or as they say on Chaturbate, "Labels Are For Canned Goods!" ;-)

by Anonymousreply 27701/28/2015

[quote]Or as they say on Chaturbate, "Labels Are For Canned Goods!" ;-)

lol, that's cute.

by Anonymousreply 27801/28/2015

J

by Anonymousreply 27901/28/2015

[quote]My friend, who is SUPER gay, was married to a woman. Who he had sex with. NO ONE would ever call him straight. Ever. He is gay, gay, GAY.

No, he is technically bisexual. He had sex with a woman.

by Anonymousreply 28001/29/2015

You can't be straight if you ride cock. END OF.

by Anonymousreply 28101/29/2015

Just like you can't be a rapist if you haven't raped anyone. You can't be a murderer if you haven't murdered anyone.

by Anonymousreply 28201/29/2015

I'm bi and identify as straight. It would be impossible for me to identify as gay, simply because I'm not. If I did, it would be conspicuously fake. (Just like a gay guy pretending to be straight.)

by Anonymousreply 28301/29/2015

Why are people still clinging to the Kinsey scale? That's 1950s science that has been debunked.

by Anonymousreply 28401/29/2015

How about if you are never in The passive role? And never will be!

by Anonymousreply 28501/29/2015

R280 if he didn't enjoy sex with a woman he isn't gay or bi. You're not even technically right.

by Anonymousreply 28601/29/2015

You're a strange person r285. I trolldar-ed you in the god thread, and you've been popping up in interesting places.

Bisexuals, lol

by Anonymousreply 28701/29/2015

A 70/30 bisexual. I prefer women, but I like very masculine buff athletic dudes, like football players. If I were to be with a dude, it was have to be like the hottest fitness model type. Otherwise, it is women. I identify publicly as straight, but I tell my bros that really fit jocks turn me on.

by Anonymousreply 28801/30/2015

I'm more curious about gay-identified bisexuals, Kinsey 4 - 5 range.

by Anonymousreply 28901/30/2015

[289]they dated/married with men & fuck women on side.Many of them.

by Anonymousreply 29001/31/2015

LOL, R290. Yeah, like that happens.

by Anonymousreply 29101/31/2015

Gay men assume I am straight. I don't "ping" at all.

But I like men and have had sex with plenty.

I am also attracted to women and have had sex with them.

Maybe it's just because Grindr makes it easier, but I prefer sex with men.

Sometimes I get wicked crushed on straight buddies. We flirt a lot, do a lot of bro-ing. Sometimes it leads to sex and sometimes not. When it leads to sex, the outcome is rarely positive -the other guy gets freaked and it makes the relationship awkward either way since the logical next step would be to be boyfriends.

Stopped trying to figure out what to call myself.

by Anonymousreply 29201/31/2015

I am bisexual and only tell people im straight. I prefer women and will settle with one so I don't want to freak her out. Im more picky with men and my attraction to them Is only sexually being in a relationship with a man is not appealing to me.

by Anonymousreply 29301/31/2015

Those who consider themselves exclusively straight and those who consider themselves exclusively gay seem threatened by the prospect of people who are truly bisexual. Bisexuality can and does exist, and to different degrees. When I was younger I used to consider myself 80% straight/20% gay, today it's probably either 70/30 or 60/40, but I am attracted to both sexes. For instance, at a party in a large room I always find several women attractive, but maybe only also one or two men attractive. I always felt that both men and women find themselves attracted to certain people of the same sex, but they repress that urge or deny it.

by Anonymousreply 29401/31/2015

Having sex with both genders is never threatening, a man who consistently has sex with both genders and "identifies" as straight definitely does though.

by Anonymousreply 29501/31/2015

BTDT R292

You nailed it. You and the guy have become super close. Almost like boyfriends. Then you add sex. But neither of you or just one of you is not ready to say "I love you. You're The One." And so it becomes a mess of awkward.

Truth is, if the other guy had said "you're The One" I'd have married him on the spot at least 3 different times.

Most gay guys are too gay for me-- too femme. Would love to find the right guy though.'

by Anonymousreply 29601/31/2015

R275 It's confusing because saying that you are gay indicates to people that you are a HOMOSEXUAL!

by Anonymousreply 29701/31/2015

Yeah, bisexuals are not gay.

by Anonymousreply 29801/31/2015

[quote]I am bisexual and only tell people im straight. I prefer women and will settle with one so I don't want to freak her out. Im more picky with men and my attraction to them Is only sexually being in a relationship with a man is not appealing to me.

Exactly the same here.

by Anonymousreply 29901/31/2015

r293/294/299 - as you say your interest in men is minor, similar to a fetish really, so what brings you to a site like datalounge?

Anyway, I have the same reaction but in reverse. I think bi guys are fine for hookups but I wouldn't get into a relationship with one. What puzzles me is that if I say that then I, as a gay man, am accused of being biphobic. However, when bisexuals say the same thing: men are for sex only, women are for sex/relatinships, they are just being true to their nature? Why the double standard? Why is it ok for bisexuals to say they only want to date women but not ok when gay guys say they are only interested in dating other gay men?

by Anonymousreply 30001/31/2015

I'm gay, but whenever I'm with a bi guy, sometimes I worry about having to compete with women, especially if it ever gets serious between us.

by Anonymousreply 30101/31/2015

Don't get caught up r301. You like sex with bi guys, just enjoy it. But you don't have a vagina, really these guys what a dude with a vagine. That's why they get caught with transexuals all the time.

by Anonymousreply 30201/31/2015

Would they settle for a non-passable cross-dresser?

by Anonymousreply 30301/31/2015

Im not gaaaaay!

by Anonymousreply 30401/31/2015

Sure, R304, you only have sex with other "straight" guys.

by Anonymousreply 30501/31/2015

[quote]Would they settle for a non-passable cross-dresser?

No they want feminine realness, in the bed especially. You have to be pretty. They get off on the fact that they use you, a dude, like you had a real vagina. I hope you get wet during sex, they like that

by Anonymousreply 30601/31/2015

I'm bisexual. I do not identify as straight.

by Anonymousreply 30701/31/2015

good for you dude

by Anonymousreply 30802/02/2015

[quote]Interesting replies and articles in this thread. Thank you.

You're most very welcome.

by Anonymousreply 30902/02/2015

m

by Anonymousreply 31003/02/2015

A University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee teaching assistant is offering extra credit to his students—but only if they’re bisexual.

In an email sent by Jonathan Dellinger to students enrolled in his public speaking class on April 1, the TA promised three extra credit points to any of his students who were bisexual.

“I’m just writing to inform you of another extra credit opportunity (3 points),” Dellinger wrote in the email obtained by Campus Reform. “To be eligible to participate in this study, you must identify as bisexual, so not everyone will be able to do this one.”

by Anonymousreply 31104/27/2015

A survey conducted by the Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI) shows that more Americans in the Millennial generation, those born from the 1980s through the early 2000s, identify as LGBT than any before. The survey reveals that only 88% of millennials identify as heterosexual, or straight, while 3% identify as homosexual (2% of which identify as gay and 1% as lesbian). Even more interesting, 4% of millennials identify as bisexual. Rounding out the LGBT acronym, another 1% identify as transgender.

by Anonymousreply 31204/27/2015
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