The idea is simple: Compatibility doesn’t always come from grand, sweeping similarities. Sometimes it’s the tiny, weird quirks that spark a connection. “Freak matching” celebrates those peculiar traits — the things you wouldn’t normally mention on a first date but secretly wish someone else shared. It turns dating into something playful, authentic and just a little ridiculous.
In an era where dating often feels formulaic, “freak matching” offers a refreshing alternative. It’s not about presenting the polished, curated version of yourself; it’s about finding someone who truly gets your weird.
On TikTok and other social media platforms, users are embracing this trend, posting videos about wanting someone to “match their freak” — someone who shares their unique brand of weird. That could mean unusual habits, strange hobbies or niche obsessions. The trend is usually accompanied by Tinashe’s “Nasty,” adding a cheeky soundtrack to the movement.
Ironically, some of the top videos feature surprisingly tame quirks, such as laughing at horror movies or watching sunsets on the beach. There are enough of those videos to start “The Horror Movie Laughers Club.” But then there are the genuinely bizarre ones: solving math problems in your dreams, making personalized shampoo bottles, or other delights too strange to explain.
Dating coach Sabrina Zohar views the trend as a backlash against the algorithm-driven dating prevalent among Gen Z’s youth.
“Gen Z grew up in an era of algorithmic everything,” explains Zohar, host of “The Sabrina Zohar Show” podcast. “Dating apps reduced us to swipeable profiles with big-picture categories: college, job, hobbies. ‘Freak matching’ is the rebellion against that. It’s saying: ’Forget your resume — do you also think the Snuggie infomercial was iconic?’”
“These micro-compatibilities make us feel seen in hyperspecific ways,” Zohar continues. “It’s not just ’we both like movies,’ it’s ’we both can recite the same obscure line from the same scene.’ That specificity creates instant intimacy and makes you feel less alone in your weirdness.”
At its core, dating is often about finding someone you can be your freakiest self around. We want to fast-forward to the moment when we can pee with the door open or start pillow fights without hesitation. Freak matching isn’t just about compatibility; it’s a shortcut to that kind of comfort, connection and intimacy.
According to psychotherapist and author Eloise Skinner, the rise of freak matching may come from a desire to feel less alone in your weirdness. “Freak matching could be a way to find solace or safety with someone who shares your quirks or preferences, especially if you’ve struggled to find that connection elsewhere,” says Skinner. “If you haven’t come across anyone in your wider circle who shares those traits, discovering that a partner does can create a real sense of solidarity and closeness.”
“We’ve seen that having niche interests — whether you’re part of a chess club, into fantasy fiction, or into gaming — can be a real point of attraction,” says Shan Boodram, relationships expert at Bumble. ‘Freak matching’ reflects a larger truth about intimacy: While attraction may get a relationship started, friendship is what keeps it going. Friendship offers emotional intimacy, shared humor, mutual respect and support.”
Examples include debating the best “romantasy” novel, engaging in a sports rivalry, or bonding over a mutual love of overpriced pastries. Asking those interesting, specific questions from the start not only fast‑tracks getting to know someone’s personality but also creates a foundation for conversations that can grow into deeper connections and, often, friendship first.
Basically, the freakiest, quirkiest things about you. Maybe it’s an oddly specific comfort food (cold beans on toast, anyone?) or a shared obsession with pigeon conspiracy theories (are they watching us?). Perhaps you firmly believe pineapple belongs on pizza and won’t let any Italian tell you otherwise. Or maybe you have an irrational fear of escalators — or crabs, like me.
