Jury Duty

Just be honest, and tell them you're a dumb fucking moron.

You’re wrong about civil-criminal service in state court. LOL

When the judge calls you for voir dire, present hole

Say you're a racist.

Don’t use fancy Law French words on this sucker.

The last time, I made it to the final round of jury selection and the judge went around the room asking each potential juror for general biographical information (employment, etc) and asked if there was any reason that should be taken into account when determining whether or not I should serve. I was going through therapy for past trauma and depression and said, yes, but I wasn't comfortable discussing it publicly, and the judge says, no problem, we can talk about it privately in his chambers and he moved on to the next potential juror. The guy next to me later said he saw the judge put my paper definitively in the "no" pile and I was tremendously relieved. A few years before that, I was up for a very long insurance trial and I was disqualified because I declared very anti-corporate views when quizzed by the defense attorney. The potential jurors sitting in front of me, behind me, immediately to my right and to my left were all called. I felt like escaped every bullet shot from the firing line

That wasn’t the final round…jeebus—wouldn’t want you on my jury..

Go and do it. You’ll get on the Luigi jury.

Mind you this person doesn’t live in NYC.

I urge you to attend, OP.

The system needs intelligent, thoughtful citizens to take part in the process.

Tell them you're a HUGE L&O fan. You've seen each episode a dozen times and can't wait to use your experience in both the courtroom and during deliberations.

That. And you hate niggers.

[quote]You’re wrong about civil-criminal service in state court. LOL

Are you saying that because I served civil I don’t have to serve criminal?

You could try telling them you have a close relative who is a cop. I said that during questioning, and they dismissed me.

I've always thrown mine in the garbage. Been doing it for years. Nothing has happened to me.

Take your proof of service and you won’t be required to serve. Unless you are so dumb that you’re mixing up state and federal jury duty.

It takes all of ten seconds to find the answer.

I told them my ex retired from the police force with 25 years of service, and I retired from a state agency related to law enforcement, and I was never called again.

And BTW, both those things happen to be true.

R16 that’s irrelevant to getting a summons. That’s only relevant in selection, if at all. It’s not an excuse from having to show up. LOL—they don’t take your name off the list for that.

Show up wearing a wedding gown.

I've always told them the truth, that I'm a retired lawyer, & I've always been rejected. But I did still have to show up, I couldn't get out of that step. Now I must be too old (78) because I haven't heard from them in years.

"Additionally, the jurors in New York are morons. There is always one bleeding heart woman who believes if the rapist is given a second chance out of custody he’ll straighten up."

There's always conservatives who vote for rapists and support hiding the Epstein files then complain about "bleeding heart liberals" being too easy on rapists

"The system needs intelligent, thoughtful citizens to take part in the process"

That would exclude conservatives like OP

I've lived in my home for almost 35 years & have only twice received jury notice. Once, almost 30 years ago. Then for the latter part of March 2020. Covid put an end to that one.

THE OP DOES NOT LIVE IN NYC

“This ain’t Chicago, honey.”

Better bring your a-game to get out.

Well, that's what happened, R17. Are you an expert in Florida law? I told them those things and I've never been called to serve again. I've been living in my place for nine years, and even though my county is large, it's not heavily populated.

But I'm sure you're right -- and I'm sure you always are.

ACAB will get you released but it sounds like you are fine with police testimony.

I think I’m going with the wedding dress idea.

This is one of the only ways we can actually make an impact now. If I got called up for Comey or James right now, I would be they. Swearing impartiality and not breathing a word about jury nullification.

[bold] Tell them you're gay and you can't be unbiased against straights because straights robbed you of your right to legally marry until 2015 and if they make you participate in their legal farce you will hang the jury....[/bold]

R2 is correct. Here's the off official rule from NYJuror.gov, the official website:

[quote] A person who serves in a State or Federal court in New York—either by reporting in person or by being available to serve via a telephone call-in system—normally is not eligible to serve again in the New York State courts for at least six years.

I wouldn't recommend it but acting like i was completely clueless about everything helped me out of federal jury duty twice. One time I was offered for someone to give me an evaluation. YEs I hit that Meryl Streep caliber. Another time the defendant was involved with something with a bank and i claimed all my relatives were bankers. It was partially true because 3 of them were in banking. One time it was a m^rder case and the guy went to my mom’s church and i said i worshipped with him. The defense wanted me bad that time and kept asking me how many times i interacted with the defendant but ultimately it was the prosecutor that asked for me to be dismissed because I was too close. I haven't been to church in a billion years btw.

Go in there and read the room carefully. I usually luck out on the pre excuses before getting there like my job desperately needs me or I take care of an ill relative.

As soon as I mentioned that my nephew was a State Trooper, I was dismissed twice in NJ. Several years apart.

I don't remember where I heard this, maybe on the DL for all I know, but it is said: If you talk, you walk. Just say something during voir dire that you can't be impartial because ... whatever ... read the room as R31 says. It's always worked for me.

In my area, the excuse of taking care of a sick/disabled relative no longer flies. They want a form filled out by a doctor for the sick/disabled person. It's a lot harder these days to be excused without having to show up for the cattle call first.

I have been summoned for jury duty every other year for thirty years. When I mention my occupation during voir dire, I am excused "with the thanks of the court" every time except one. The only empaneled jury I was on was during COVID semi-lockdown (October 2020) and they were not turning away anybody who actually showed up; it was a criminal case.

I am a university professor. I firmly believe that both prosecutors and defense attorneys want dim people on juries. It seems that prospective jurors whose occupation typically requires a college degree are routinely excused, with the thanks of the court, of course. Another group that is always excused are people who seriously want to be on a jury, e.g., people who laminate their paper juror badge before showing up. lol. After seeing this a few times, I asked a lady if she laminated her badge. She told me, yes, so they will excuse me right away!

We also have a one-day or one jury and you're done policy, or one week of calling in and you're done.

I was bounced due to my job, but that was after a day of sitting in the courtroom lobby…no food, no nothing. My group was pissed. I also told them my boss wasn’t very understanding about jury duty. That was true.

Tell them you think you hooked up with the defendant but not 100% sure because you were very drunk at the time.

[bold] Tell them you refuse to participate in a judicial system that caters to heterosexuals. If that doesn't work tell you plan to base your jury verdict by which side had the hottest male witnesses...[/bold]

I told the judge that I could tell if someone was guilty just by looking at them.

Another time, I told the judge that "I have Tourette's syndrome, you stupid motherfucker."

Tell them you refuse to be a juror, but you are willing to be the trial judge. Take it or leave it.

Quadruple homicide , all I had to say about myself was ACAB plus mental illness plus 2 little arrests and I was also slightly hysterical about not being able to afford 3 months off work for the trial and voila. Easy.

I’ve never minded jury duty. I’m doing my civic duty and it can be interesting.

If you can reschedule, try to do it as close as you can to a major holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas. They usually don't have enough people for a quorum.

R7 no, you wouldn't

OP go back to sleep = every post you make is stupid.

[quote] There is always one bleeding heart woman who believes if the rapist is given a second chance out of custody he’ll straighten up.

In how many rape trials have you been a juror to make such a sweeping statement? I’ll bet zero.

Do you realize how moronic you sound?

In Florida, the fact that you haven’t been summoned in several years does NOT mean you’re on some “safe list” forever. It’s dumb luck. That’s not how the summons system works. There are statutory exemptions, but they come into play after you’re summoned—you still have to show up/prove an exemption applies to you.

Or maybe you’re a reay old fart—over 70. LOL.

R25 is one of those many “not too smart” people who keep forgetting that DL is full of lawyers with plenty of time to bat them down.

I’m retired…best $30.00 a day ever…

I’d fire my investment adviser if I were you ;)

Years ago, when I owned my own retail store, I received a letter to report for jury duty the following week. I called the phone number and spoke to the jury commissioner, explaining to her that if I had to go to jury duty, I would have to keep my retail store closed while I was away because I had no other staff during the off-season (which was January-February, and the slower months for my business). By keeping the store closed for one day, or one week, or longer would not only be a financial hardship for me - but for the city and state. I would not be collecting sales tax revenue for either one on their behalf if my store was closed because of jury duty. That could add up to thousands of dollars in loss for both.

She was very understanding and agreeable, and then asked me where my store was and the name of it. Turns out she used to come in frequently, as the state courthouse was only a few blocks away from my store. (Federal courthouse was about half a mile away). She told me not to worry about anything, and she would have me dismissed. A few days later she came into my store to formally introduce herself (yes, she was a regular in my sore) and gave me copies of forms she filled out exempting me 'for life' as a store owner from both federal court and state court jury selection. That was nearly 25 years ago (I still have the copies in my possession), and I haven't ever been bothered since. I closed my store about a dozen years ago (and notified the state's division of taxation), but not sure if they ever updated their records - or even cared.

There’s no such thing as a universal exemption from federal jury duty —strictly at the mercy of the applicable federal district.

It’s easy, OP. Just pretend to be a mincing fairy, clutch your neck and screech “they won’t be showing any violent photos, will they??? I ABHOR le violence!!! HOLD ME DAVID!!!” Then scream and drop to the floor, kicking and spitting.

I’m fairly confident they’ll dismiss you at the speed of light.

I was on a robbery case where the convicted defendant overturned the table and ran for the jury, being stopped before he got to us, His family was very angry and we had to be taken out of the courthouse through a tunnel and sent home in cabs or to our cars via circuitous routes.

On another case a rape case with a conviction included hearing the defendant called identified as a prostitute and having her work outfit and underwear held up for us to see. The defense attorney was appointed and terrible. Afterwards, the defendant's mother came up to me on the street and complained about the judgment. It was unfortunate and uncomfortable, but I provided her with sources of assistance to turn to. The mother said she knew he did it but there more to the story. I mean, the guy stuck a gun barrel up the woman when she tried to leave, so even if she was a prostitute who tried to back out when he brandished the weapon...

One positive from having MS is that I've been excused from further service for life. But I did have to go to court with my doctor's letter, sit for hours in a hot room (which left me half out of it) and then tell the judge and people sitting there all about my personal health and life.

"But is it progressive?" the judge asked, as I leaned on my cane with the shakes. I said, "Look at me. With how hot the courtrooms are it doesn't matter, because I'm going to have to sit in my car with the ac on high for an hour before I can drive home." I know people try to get out of it because it's a pain, but I never did until it became too much to manage.

I also had the "Yes, he's guilty but" argument from other jurors trying to nullify things, three days of a a boring, stupid civil case with a sudden non-trial resolution, and people in the pool who insisted they hate the police and the courts being placed on juries.

City living, city people, city justice. I was called up about 12 times, sat on a jury five times. Sitting in the jury pool room (hundreds of people) for three days and then being dismissed was worse than the responsibility of being a citizen and serving in a trial.

I tell them I am a psychic medium and will rely on spirit communication to determine guilt.

I was working at Neiman's when I got the call to serve, and got picked. The defendant was a motel owner who rented her property out by the hour (for prostitutes) , and an undercover cop got her. We all knew she was guilty, but had to let her go, because of the huge acrylic glass partition between her and the johns, where audio can be distorted and muffled. We only debated for a day, but little did I know that Neiman's paid us our top hourly commissions for time served, up to a week. After that, I got summons every year to the day I served. I started ignoring the summons for 9 years, then got a big red summons in the mail threatening jail time.

I figured out to move my home court from downtown Los Angeles, to Santa Monica, by saying I had to take care of my sick father there (well, he really was in Concord CA), and it's been a dream- safe grounds, great parking, tiny security line, and usually, not enough people for a quorum. Lately it's just call in to see if i even need to go there.