BREAKING NEWS: "Kiss of the Spider Woman" & JLo are box office POISON! (Again!)

[quote]“She poured her soul into this. She thought it would be her A Star Is Born moment.”

AS FUCKING IF.

There was no way this wasn't going to bomb. The number of failures Lionsgate has had in recent years is astounding. At this point, they need to fire everyone and restructure the entire studio. I am surprised they haven't gone bankrupt.

Go away you gun moll!

It got a mixed review in The New York Times.

I figured it would do poorly, but it looks visually stunning, and I'm really looking forward to seeing it, especially the performance of Tonatiuh as Molina.

Nobody likes her.

This opened wide?

I haven’t see one advertisement for it. That’s why.

According to Box Office Mojo it opened at #11

Kiss of the Spider Woman Lionsgate Roadside Attractions

Gross $343,200

Theaters 1,330

GTD $343,200

Days 1

We're seeing tonight. When I booked the tickets on the app 10 mins ago we are the only 2 people.

Those weird photo-gray glasses she's wearing are hilarious. They're like 1978 Foster Grants from the optical department at Sears.

What did I tell you?

The interest in a film version of a Broadway musical from 35 years ago is nil? With J Lo's box office record?? Who could have foreseen this???

I saw Thursday night and loved it. When I posted on FB about it none of my friends even knew it existed. And they are all a bunch of queens.

She's quite good in it and Tonituah is fabulous. Diego Luna is always good and they had great chemistry. I hope it gets a cult following because it's really well-done. The choreography makes up for what the less than memorable songs lack. The Coleen Atwood costumes deserve an Oscar nom.

It’s not the kind of movie that is supposed to be a box office blockbuster!

Its subject matter is hardly a family friendly romp.

I imagine it will pick up speed in the colder months when people want to see a more adult movie.

Exactly, R14. There's butt sex and a man shits his pants. Not what you'd call blockbuster entertainment. Unless you're Danny Thomas.

This is the kind of film Netflix makes. She shouldn’t have sold it to Roadhouse. It didn’t need theatrical distribution.

How in the world do they know weekend totals when the film opened last night and there are two more nights to the holiday weekend ?

She’ll turn the pain into power! (Courtesy of inner circle & well-wishers)

After the Hunt (Cunt) starring Julia Roberts will have the same fate next weekend.

R17, since most people buy tickets in advance, it's possible to forecast what a movie is going to make based on pre-sales. Sometimes the estimates are off, but rarely by that much.

🌮 💋

I had no idea that it was out. No billboards, online, or tv ads at all. Even in L.A., where you see billboards for indies.

I was taken aback by the venom directed at JLo when her marriage to Ben fell apart. It felt like a lot of the public is sick of her, and chose to believe that she was some diva who made poor private, low-key Ben's life hell when they were married. I cannot stand the woman, but I suspect that in his own way Ben is every bit as much of a nightmare as she is. I figured this movie would flop bc all good will towards her seems to have dried up, although I guess if she were in a great film, the public would begrudgingly go and watch it.

R23, I think people were just sick of J Lo, period. But I agree with you on Ben. But she's also an idiot for taking him back. She knew what he was like the FIRST time. Yet they got remarried again years later? Dumb.

Not surprised in a country where they hate gender non-conforming people

Fuck this overrated and nasty bitch. My god- This should be it for her, right?

The Oscar nomination talk was enough (again.)

GO AWAY!

Kiss (of Death) of the Spider Woman

You fags abandoned her, like my BFF.

[quote]She poured her soul into this.

I think the vessel holding that was emptied into a sewer the night she covered up her bf Diddy's shooting a guy.

I have no interest, op. i thought it was laughable that stripper movie was described as oscar worthy.

ass and wig shaking is not acting.

the asian chick did better acting in the film and was deliberately made to look like a frump in comparison to lopez.

Does Diego Luna showed dong? If not, there's no reason to see it.

How dare you besmirch the Mercedes Ruehl vehicle Hustlers!

[quote]i thought it was laughable that stripper movie was described as oscar worthy. ass and wig shaking is not acting.

JLO isn't as bad as Natalie Portman or Kristin Stewart, yet one has an Oscar and the other got a nomination for a truly abysmal piece of acting and filmmaking. Shit, Melissa McCarthy even got a nomination for shitting in a sink. The Oscars aren't some bastion of critical esteem. Lopez was just fine in Hustlers. A nomination would not have solicited some shock of moral outrage.

That being said, she should go back to straight dramas, maybe even take a page out of Reese's book and produce some good projects without her starring in them.

All the vets are struggling, Julia, Clooney, DiCaprio. It's not just a Lopez issue.

R23 She’s been engaged 6 times, married and divorced 4 times and 2 other major high profile relationships.

Ben’s marriage to Jennifer Garner lasted longer than all of Jennifer Lopez’s marriages combined.

So I don’t know if Ben is the problem.

I’ll put it this way. If Ben marries again, it’ll be longer than Jennifer Lopez’s next marriages. And yes, plural.

R22 JLO has done quite a bit of promo - talk shows (Late Night and The View this week) and podcasts. She's really invested in this and was really pushing it. On The View, everyone went home with a copy of the soundtrack on CD. Maybe they should have given away movie tix instead ?

R13. I agree with everything you wrote. I loved it. The musical numbers are right out of MGM and JLo is better than she's ever been and looks gorgeous.

[quote]I imagine it will pick up speed in the colder months when people want to see a more adult movie.

It'll be streaming by then.

R36 = JLo.

[quote] I was taken aback by the venom directed at JLo when her marriage to Ben fell apart.

Really? Everyone hates the bitch.

Taco Flavored Kisses for my Ben.

All malignant narcissists get their comeuppance eventually.

Hopefully, that abortion addict Madonna is next.

Is the movie good? It's one of those movies I always meant to watch but haven't been in the mood...

This coupled with the $7 concert tickets last year makes it official: JLo’s showbiz career is over!

Poison I says! Poison!

I would really like to see it.

This film had less promotion than a Netflix release. Very embarrassing for JLo. I guess they figured she was such a despicable personality why waste the money:

Ben is so stupid for producing this.

R45 ≠ Chris Judd.

J. Lo has been cosplaying as a singer and actress the last 20 years. She’s not really either.

She’s an influencer. She’s a huge celebrity. No one actually gives a shit about her films or songs, they like her.

And she’s spent the last few years pretending to be a big actress. J. Lo in space, J. Lo musical, etc.

It’s all a facade lol.

.

[quote]This coupled with the $7 concert tickets last year makes it official: JLo’s showbiz career is over!

Oy vey! I charged more than that when I was 13 years old, singing on my steps in Brooklyn in 1955.

Just watch the original.

I saw it tonight (I posted upthread , we were the only two people in a stadium-style theatre).

I really enjoyed it. Ending was very different from the stage version. Didn't like that they made the gay character trans-leaning andin drag for the final number. Ugh.

Sad and desperate.

Wow, so unpredictable that a movie starring a consistent flop semi-actress based on a lousy Broadway musical from 1993 without a single memorable song would repel movie goers!

Jlo does not look good as a blonde.

That's what I said here back when it was first discussed, R51; there's a movie that doesn't need to be remade.

Two threads currently running on DL concerning Hollywood actresses, Jennifer Lopez and Diane Keaton. A simple comparison of their respective abilities should put this topic to bed.

She's gonna be on Stern Tuesday or Wed, so she MUST be desperate.

Emilia Pérez would have bombed just as poorly if it went theatrical. Instead it went on Netflix and got 13 Oscar nominations.

Netflix is where you send movies like this, and the fact that they didn’t pick this up (Netflix loves star vanity projects) is actually quite surprising, but their strategy may have changed when Scott Stuber left.

I will add, that despite the $35 million budget, this looked like a TV movie. People aren’t going to go to the movie theaters for something that looks like it was made for streaming.

They did some promotion for this about a month ago, but nothing leading up to opening weekend. They must have seen it not moving the projections and stopped wasting money on this lost cause.

In typical JLo fashion, she's not going to let common sense stop her and she's now spending her own time and money going out promoting it, like the Stern show interview.

The breakout star is NOT Jenny.

"I will add, that despite the $35 million budget..."

$20 million of it was probably Jello's salary.

Kiss of the Spider Woman Star Tonatiuh Compares Working with Jennifer Lopez to 'Watching Lightning Strike'

I don't understand how she's already filming another movie. All her films bomb and she's a shitty actress.

[quote]I will add, that despite the $35 million budget, this looked like a TV movie. People aren’t going to go to the movie theaters for something that looks like it was made for streaming.

What exactly is that supposed to mean, when the difference between TV movies and theatrical films has become almost nil? If you're saying that you think the production values of SPIDER WOMAN look cheap, I certainly don't agree.

R66 Maybe the clips that person saw were some of the ones Molina was retelling Valentin. They were supposed to look like old Hollywood and were on sets with fake backdrops on purpose.

R60 That's simply not true. The musical numbers were lavish and lovely. This was certainly not Carrie Underwood in Sound of Music.

I'm not a huge JLo fan but she was great in this and can be good in things (Selena, Out of Sight, The Cell) but she sabotages herself by being a complete cunt. That said, she's been a cunt since the infamous Movieline interview so, it's nothing new. Not sure why people suddenly hate her. She's always been an awful human being.

JLo has never been a box-office star. I don't know why Hollywood keeps hiring her to star in movies?

Who is this person of whom we speak?

I honestly didn't know it was released.

Maybe it's a minor release so it can build during the holiday season?

It's a weird time to release it - October is horror film month, isn't it?

[quote] It's a weird time to release it - October is horror film month, isn't it?

You just answered your own question.

I saw it Thursday night. It's not perfect by any means, but I must admit, when it works, it soars. Tonatiuh is sensational, and a few of the musical numbers slay.

Oddly, I've found myself wanting to go back and see it again.

Makes me sad that it's bombing so badly.

I just checked Box Office Mojo. iIn 1330 theaters and projected to make less than one million over the weekend. That's really shocking. Then again, this is a gay Latino-themed musical that's been released in the second Trump administration. So yeah, a Netflix release might have been a better choice. Or maybe a limited theatrical release followed by streaming, like del Toro's "Frankenstein."

R72 epic golf clap

She is an ice cold cunt. She doesn’t converse with or look in the eye any service people. She makes her team deal with the little people.

This likely means that we’ll be able to purchase it digitally while “Still in Theaters!” soon.

BITCH CANNOT ACT.

Seriously, how has she come this far?

I watch breakfast all day movie reviews on YouTube sometimes and I really don’t know why because they’re not that helpful.

Christi gave this an 8.3 and Alfonso couldn’t give it a number rating at all because “he’s been dear friends with Bill Condon and his partner for decades now!”

I really wanted to like this as I loved the Broadway musical. But I was bored to tears by most of it.

Diego Luna was miscast. Valentin should be played by a big macho brute of a man. With a butch haircut. Here, Valentin and Molina look almost interchangeable.

The musical numbers should have been more presentational with far less book scenes to them.

Jennifer Lopez too often comes across as a skinny blonde ingenue with a reedy singing voice. There's no heft, no gravitas. Chita was sorely missed.

That was my thought on Diego Luna -- he's supposed to be tall, dark and handsome. Well, he got 2 out of 3, he can't be more than 5'8"

R82 I think he has only 1 out of 3. Never found him handsome. Looks like a cross between Pedro Pascal and an otter.

I thought Diego was adorable in Frida.

I haven’t seen the 1985 movie since I was a teenager, trying to catch up on all of the acting wins. TCM was great for this.

I remember it as being very depressing. I was also underwhelmed by William Hurt and never quite got his IT factors from the 1980s.

Yeah, but "adorable" is not a suitable trait for Valentin, r84.

[quote] I was also underwhelmed by William Hurt and never quite got his IT factors from the 1980s.

Me too and I saw it when it was current. I never "got" him. But Sonia Braga and Raul Julia were ok

Right r86, he does seem a bit soft (for lack of a better word) to be a diehard revolutionary.

"It's the scripts, L.B.!"

Interesting -most of the good word here is from people who have actually seen the movie, and most of the bad word is just general J-Lo bashing. Sounds like the movie itself might be pretty good. I'll see for myself on Wednesday and post back here. I saw Chita do the show in London, and Vanessa Williams and Maria Chonchita Alonso on Broadway, plus a few regional productions. As a fan of the show, I'm skeptical of the changes, but I have listened to the soundtrack and for what it is it's not bad at all. I do miss the cut songs!

I don't think I have ever seen or heard J-Lo before (other than those taco-flavored kisses on South Park) so all I can go by is what I've heard on the soundtrack. She's not bad. Of course, I thought Madonna wasn't bad in Evita (not the greatest, but certainly no one else at that time who I thought would do it better)...

R90, you don't think Meryl Streep -- who almost did the role -- would have been a better Evita than Madonna?

Streep is clearly the better actress (did I even need to say that?), but Madonna sang the role better that Streep would have. Lord knows people here lambasted Streep's singing in Mamma Mia!

NO, Madonna DID NOT sing the role better than Streep would have. I can say that with certainty even without, obviously, having heard Streep sing it.

Such moral certainty in the face of zero evidence must be a comfort, R93...

The show/movie score is BORING. Not a memorable song in the lot to anyone who hasn't listened to the original cast album the last thirty years.

It's not about "morality," it's about talent. Madonna's voice is no better than mediocre, and Streep sang very well in INTO THE WOODS, MAMMA MIA!, and that one song she did in POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE.

That's my evidence, bucko. All you have is your bad taste appreciation of Madonna's vocals, which have been deplored by anyone who knows anything about how those songs should sound.