Pretentious Friends

Yes, but they’re not really true friends. Just acquaintances who wouldn’t give me the time of day if my life depended on it.

1) The main one is a true narcissist whose goal in life is to be seen with “pretty people” in upper class settings such as at the country club, an equestrian event, or some event where only the high class gays are. He also puts on his invitations that shorts and blue jeans are not allowed. His husband recently left him and I giggled. He’s always chasing someone who he thinks is somehow prominent and always will be.

2) I’ve posted about this one before on here but he always name drops his supposedly prominent family members who no one has never heard of. He refers to people as “failed” because he realizes he has failed at life and namedropping his family legacy somehow protects him from that realization. He has no friends. One of the most toxic people I’ve ever met. He also is a drunk and doesn’t bathe regularly.

I am my best pretentious friend, Opee. That fragrance in the bathroom? A layering of Baccarat Rouge 540 over shit. There’s no ventilation in this Alamo.

Oh damn! It’s the Bucket woman!

Well, it depends on what you mean by pretentious. I have a couple acquaintances who are name-droppy poseurs but overall they’re harmless and just overcompensating for what they see as their own humble beginnings. They are not ruthless or well-connected and part of me has a huge soft spot for people who are trying to live a more comfortable life than the one they were dealt at birth.

Not "friends" but a rando I friended on Facebook. I've never contacted him and only keep him on my friends list because of his hilariously pretentious posts about everything from how educated he is, how well connected he is, that he doesn't have to work because of his benefactors, etc. He seems totally unaware how his posts are coming off to other people.

Tell me more, R5.

Darling, I AM the pretentious friend.

Yes I do and he is great fun. We were both Masters of the Universe in our careers. We go at it back and forth until we both start laughing. He’s the only person who hears how wonderful I am/was. I do the same for him. I love him for that.

I have no desire to rub elbows with the great unwashed masses. If I do something or go somewhere, it’s first class all the way, baby! So I guess that makes me the pretentious one.

No, I wouldn't abide people like that.

I used to.

Typical rich, white suburban housewife. Garden club, weekly mahjong game, tennis sweater tied around the shoulders. She let her husband do her thinking for her. She has a very privileged life and she revels in it. Very pretentious.

We became friends when we served on a board together. I’m as far from a snob as you can get, so I found her funny. And I liked her in spite of the bullshit.

Then she went MAGA.

I can overlook pretentiousness, but not MAGA.

So I don’t have any pretentious friends anymore.

Just y'all.

R12 I dunno. I think “y’all” is pretty pretentious.

Me. .

R11 I didn't realize she is from the 1960's.

Yes, I’ve had pretentious friends. Most were actually fun and I have many good memories. But I’ve realized they were energy suckers and have backed away over the years.

Pretension and arrogance are masks for insecure, sad people.

I had a pretentious friend who invited me over for pizza and a movie.

I was out running errands and things all day so I showed up in jogging clothes. I also brought a bottle of wine. He made a comment about how I should dress more presentable.

I can't imagine being friends with people that insecure.

They all are in their way. It's a condition of being my friend.

I had one before he moved a state over to be with a guy that was 19 and asexual.

He had been morbidly obese most of his life and got the bypass surgery and his 20s and lost a ton of weight. After that, he was an insufferable snob.

I had a friend in college who would attend plays and concerts in a tuxedo, completely with a top hat, cape, and cane...

I always think of him when I reread the Patrick Dennis novel, Tony.

Aw, your friend all dressed up with the top hat and cape sounds rather adorkably eccentric, rather than pretentious.

I get my books from Wakefield, I'm photographed by Dorothy Wilding, Caruso does my hair, Hattie Carnegie my clothes, I have jewels from Cartier, and I'm attended to by a cook, two maids, a chauffeur and a butler.

In my experience, pretentious types have occsssionally sought me out, and one of two things occurred:

1) I didn't get their pretentious mind games so they moved on. 2) I grey rocked them and they quickly lost interest.

I've had pretentious acquaintances in my time, but they were never friends. They were mainly work related relationships. Privately I've always steered clear of people who screamed "I'm a fraud". People who pretend to be something they're not are comical to me, mainly because they can rarely carry it off for long. They always end up making themselves look foolish.

I've known plenty. I'm friendly with very few, and those are the ones who may be pretentious, but a) have a reason to be on their own merits (academic achievement rather than inherited wealth, for example), and b) are good people apart from their pretensions.

What gets me is that I have "sophisticated" friends who love and can talk in depth over their love of the "high brow:" wine, literature, classical music/opera, travel, culture, fashion, etc., and they would NEVER treat someone poorly for not liking what they like (outside of playful teasing with friends).

I have some "high brow" friends who are whiny and want flash over substance. My sophisticated friends could run circles around them, but they don't. They find the pretenses amusing.

I have a pretentious sister. She behaves 'normally' with me but as soon as we meet someone she knows, it happens. She turns into this snobby, name-dropper. If she wasn't my sister, I'd never spend time with her.

I have a friend who thinks Iceberg Lettuce is the epitome of trailer trash taste. It's only Romaine, Butterhead or something more elevated for her. I find Iceberg perfectly refreshing in some things. It seems like a silly thing to be snobby about.

A wedge salad with homemade blue cheese dressing is always a worthy dish!