Divulging Embarrassing Stories

Fine. Then tell him you will share the story of how you fucked him one time and pulled out and there was a piece of corn on your dick.

OP, because your foibles are FOIBULOUS!

Your spouse gets a rush out of publicly humiliating you, OP. I would threaten him with dire consequences if he tells that story again.

Divulge the story first, OP.

R4 we had gone out to lunch and were seated at the bar, having lunch and beers. I only had the one beer but somewhere halfway done, it must have gone down wrong and I had an immediate reaction and aerosolized this beer into a projectile cough. Unfortunately this projectile beer mist reached another patron who was seated perpendicular to me. He was a quiet, studious Amazon driver on his lunch. He had his food halfway to mouth when this happened, and I think he still ate that bite but then pushed his plate away. I apologized profusely and offered to pay for it but the guy declined. My husband won't stop laughing about it. It was kind of scary to me at the time because it felt like choking, having gone down the wrong way. My husband thinks this is the funniest thing ever. I didn't finish my lunch or that beer, everything was ruined.

Stay home.

Tell him if his dick was bigger you could work on your gag reflex

R5 I'm so sorry to say this but I think I would have laughed my ass off too. That is like, a cinematically funny moment--cheesy, but funny. Lean in to it, you're a stah!

It's one thing to embarrass yourself but an innocent stranger? I'd be mortified. I also don't like the idea of laughing at said stranger who was drenched in your beer spew for the rest of his shift. Your spouse has a mean streak.

Do the Bree Van De Kamp, OP.

1) Why don't you speak up?

2) Why are you with this person?

OP, I have some great DIY ideas I would love to share with you.

Before he can tell the story, YOU tell the story but cast your spouse as the protagonist. Act shocked when he tries to say it was you and not him and accuse him of gaslighting.

r5 Talk about awkward, yeesh. Was this before, during or after COVID?

I hate to tell you this, OP, but this is not going to end well.

Get out with your dignity and self-esteem intact.

Is he more interested in having a hilarious (in his brain) story to tell his brother, or is he more specifically interested in you being there for the telling and him being able to make you feel humiliated?

If the latter.. I’m sorry but this reads like a strong indicator that you didn’t marry well.

My then roommate went to a company party about a mile from home. He got so drunk he decided a walk home, 20 minutes in cool autumn air, would be a good thing.

Most of us might agree.

But he suddenly had the urge to puke and shit at the same time and started barfing while he pulled down his pants on a shortcut path through a nearby park. This must have happened around 3am.

Next thing he knew it was 3 hours later and a nasty old dog walker was standing over him. His pants were down, his face was in a big pile of his own barf, and a big poo was half out of his ass.

He made it home and I helped him clean up.

I can tell that story here but I promised to never tell anyone we knew.

The nasty dog walker was our bitch landlady.

OP, why not mime an exaggerated, impromptu reenactment of the story while he retells it? Hubby gets to be the Amazon driver. Make sure to spew a particularly bilious beer concoction.

[quote]Why do people love to repeat your foibles?

Because people are basically horrible.

How often does he make you uncomfortable in front of others?

Your "spouse" is an asshole.

R16 is right, something not good going on here

I wouldnt dream of doing this to my partner I love him too much. I'll tell embarassing stories about myself to entertain, but not about him

R14 it was just a couple months ago. I was really stressed out that day and was having a hard time eating anyway. I don’t think I can go back to that place.

Bourgon..

OP: he sounds like an insensitive dick. First, he gets off (again and again) on laughing at an innocent bystander getting puked on and then, and this is actually kind of worse, gets off on embarrassing you about it by the re-telling of the incident when you were scared you could be choking. You were stressed out as it is, as you posted above. Did he even notice? And why is he so insistent on telling your brother?

You sound very nice that you would put up with this kind of behavior---and I wonder if he does other shitty things to you to make you feel awkward/mortified.

It's those little mean and disrespectful things that can make any relationship toxic over time.

I hope you bolt

OP, if you have made it clear that his habit of telling this story is embarrassing for you, that really should be enough for him to drop it. It's passive aggressive behavior on his part. Ask him what he gets out of doing something so completely unnecessary that he knows makes you feel like shit. Ask him what he's getting out of it.

If he says you have no sense of humor, or that you are being controlling, you have a problem. He's not respecting your feelings. Tell him this is YOUR story to tell and if you choose to not tell it it doesn't get told. Be firm.

R17 - that is PRICELESS

The better question is, Has anyone seen OP's self-respect?