Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine

Merman was notorious for her brash demeanor and for telling vulgar stories at public parties. For instance, she once shouted a dirty joke across the room at José Ferrer during a formal reception.

While rehearsing a guest appearance on The Loretta Young Show, Merman exclaimed "Where the hell does this go?" Young, who was a devout Catholic, advanced towards Merman waving an empty coffee can, saying, "Miss Merman, you said the 'H' word! That'll be twenty-five cents."—to which Merman replied, "Tell me, Loretta, how much will it cost me to tell you to go fuck yourself?"

I feel like Loretta Young and Ethel Merman represent the two sides of DL; one prissy and moralizing, the other vulgar and confrontational.

Could she out do me? HA!

R1 Also attributed to Robert Mitchum, Spencer Tracy, Joe Mankiewicz, and many others.

The "happy" couple.

She was around 10 years older than him.

That Loretta story has been told many times with many different celebs allegedly delivering the burn.

And it's usually men.

Carol Channing hated the Merm for reasons well known to her.

Did Ernest know that Ethel wore a complete upper plate? You know they didn’t sleep together before marriage.

Ernie loved doing Dutch Ovens to Ethel. I bet they were fragrant, too.

“Don’t say FUCK in front of the K-I-D-S!”

R3 "Could she out do me"

Could she out me???

I’ve always thought their divorce was a shame. They really seem as tho they should’ve been a successfully iconic duo, instead of a mid century war of the plastic roses.

Maybe Ethel was a closet case.

Or Ernest was.

Or both.

One story I heard was that, when an interviewer asked Ethel what happened, she responded, “He hit me.”

That would do it for me too.

Weekend Update on SNL had a slide of two bulldogs kissing and the ignorant slut Jane Curtain exclaimed "Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman remarry."

^^^ That gives new meaning to the oft-repeated tale of some wag, being informed of the Borgnine-Merman marriage, who said, "I want the pick of the litter."

Didn't both have gay rumors? Ethel is a classic caneface while Borgnine epitomizes "angry closet case." Remember when he flipped out over Brokeback Mountain?

Much later, R17. People suspected Merman was a lesbian and Mary Martin was not. Ha ha.

R17 His wife kept him looking youthful with her makeup products and he admitted he jerked off all the time while he was on air, so I guess anything might be true.

[quote] and he admitted he jerked off all the time while he was on air, so I guess anything might be true.

What do you mean, "on air." That usually means on the radio.

It's important to remember that Ethel was once a Broadway sex symbol.

I don't want to think of Ernest Borgnine naked, or jerking off, or having sex.

EVER!

[quote] Much later, [R17]. People suspected Merman was a lesbian and Mary Martin was not. Ha ha.

They belonged to a mutual aggravation society!

"Swell! Wasn't that swell? What a career she had! Now, how you'd like to hear ME do a duet?"

"On air" meant "over the airwaves". TV was "on air" for much of the 60s and 70s.

[quote] I don't want to think of Ernest Borgnine naked, or jerking off, or having sex.

however, all i want to do is think about Ethel in all three states.

R20 It was back in 2008 on Fox & Friends when you weren’t even a zygote.

Can’t believe that ‘’Union’’ really happened. Were they drunk? on drugs? What did they ever see in each other.

LOL

They were both homelier than a mud fence.

If the Dutch oven story is true, that would seal it for me.

Full of religion, R27.

R24 Yes, if it was live. But when did he supposedly jerk off live on TV, then? I never heard of it, so it just seems like a weird thing to say, without further explanation.

Ernest's license plate said BORG 9

From an old People magazine article.

In an on-air interview at age 91, Borgnine joyfully whispered into the ear of the interviewer the secret to his longevity: "I masturbate a lot" which was clearly caught by the mic.

I don't think he masturbated while on camera or in a professional situation (at least that we know of).

Allegedly Merman was once asked if she was a lesbian. She replied “Hell I can’t stand the smell of my own pussy”.

That's disgusting!

My favorite chapter in her autobiography: My Marriage to Ernest Borgnine."

A blank page.

R17 In this interview clip, Borgnine said he didn't go see Brokeback Mountain because he was more interested in women but that he had nothing against men. To each his own, he said.

Not the world's most attractive couple. Probably for the best

Merman was already 55 at the time they married. It's not like they were going to breed, R37.

He was too good for her!

His last wife Tovah used to shill her perfume on QVC. She acted like he was the most romantic debonair man in the world. It was beyond bizarre. After he died she’d have a framed photo of him on her selling table and the hosts would breathlessly intone about what a prize he was. One of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.

R35 In an interview with [italic]The Hollywood Reporter[/italic] in 2011, Borgnine mention the blank page in Merman's memoir devoted to their marriage.

[Quote] On Ethel Merman

[Quote] His 32-day marriage to Ethel Merman notoriously imploded when he got more attention than she did during their honeymoon; later, Merman’s memoir included one blank page in reference to the marriage. Borgnine discovered the book while in a tiny town in Iowa. “We went into this bookstore, and someone saw the book and said, ‘Look at this blank page!’ and I said, ‘Thank goodness.’ ”

Beginning at 9 min 10 seconds in, this video includes detailed interview quotes from 95-year-old Bognine about his marriage to Merman. He said her quick and volcanic temper and her efforts to control everything in their lives made him feel like their marriage was like living in a war zone. He also takes responsibility for his part in the failure of their relationship.

I've never read or heard such a full explanation about their marriage before.

The video also has a transcript available.

It's a funny coincidence that Ernie Borgnine voiced the Mermaid Man* character in Spongebob Squarepants.

* could have been shortened to Merman

Well, let's be honest: Ernest Borgnine was the best Tovah could do. It's not like she could have married Paul Newman.

I can't believe that Ernest Borgnine lived to be 95.

He was quite overweight and looked unhealthy.

Is Tovah still alive and hawking cosmetics?

It's spelled TOVA.

Note that Borgie baby was married five times. Obviously, he was a handful.

I've always felt I was the bride of Christ, I should have taken the vows.

Tova is died a few years ago I think.

If Tova had an interest in Ernest sexually, he wouldn’t have spent soooooooo much time masturbating.

Tova was a hot piece.

You're right, R50.

She died in 2022, ten years after Ernest.

Tova only lived to be 80.

Really, no mention...?

There was only one offspring from the brief union.

He was physically perfectly matched with his first wife. He claimed he married her because his mother said she was a lovely girl.

[quote] He was quite overweight and looked unhealthy.

Old fat man keep living.

I think many people don't even know what a delight The Merm was.

Ethel Merman "Ridin' High, Get Happy, Happy Talk & Happy Birthday To You" on The Ed Sullivan Show

Two untalented uglies.

[quote] One of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.

New to the Datalounge, are you?

Ernie looked better as an older man than when he was younger.

Mr. Borgnine, along with Mr. Bernard Schwartz, aka Tony Curtis, were the main culprits in torpedoing "Brokeback Mountain" chance of an Oscar.

Fuck both of these two old, and thankfully now dead, clowns. Either one of them would fuck whatever pussy was presented to them, regardless of their marital status.

But Brokeback was "immoral."

Who is the Ethel Merman of today?

Patti LuPone?

Patti is many things, but not a whore.

I wasn't suggesting that Patti was a whore! I was suggesting that she was the big, quintessential Broadway belter who launched a lot of popular songs and was well-known by most Americans. (As well-known as any theatre person can be these days...)

Merman's autobiography had chapter entitled "My Marriage to Ernest Borgnine." It consisted of a blank page.

R67, see R35 & R41.

Their arguments must have been deafening.

Ernest yelled his whole dialogue in The Poseidon Adventure and Ethel in it’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.

R59 -

[quote] Two untalented uglies

"Uglies" - ok. But far from untalented.

Merman has enough defenders on here already, so I'll just point to Borgnine's performances in "Marty" and "Bad Day at Black Rock" for starters. He was a great actor.

Didn’t Arthur Laurents say Merman was a dunce?

Ethel could deliver a funny line.

In one of her first movies she was co-starring with Eddie Cantor. She and her cohorts were planning a job. One guy was reading the newspaper:

Guy: Hey, remember that guy who pretended to be your husband in Atlantic City?

Merm: Yea?

Guy: He's dead.

Merm: I coulda told you that in Atlantic City.

She had a New York sensibility, R72. Every native New Yorker can deliver that line.

Is their daughter Varla Jean still alive?

[quote] She had a New York sensibility, [R72]. Every native New Yorker can deliver that line.

Like Cynthia Nixon?

Ethel put the T in trash. Ernest was a sweetheart of a man

While Borgnine never masturbated on television, in his later years he did do quite a bit of work on Cam4 and Chaturbate. Classic film fans were delighted, and often paid him extra tokens to tell a story about Tim Conway or Trini Lopez while he pinched his nipples. One memorable evening his viewers berated him endlessly until he agreed to sit on his Oscar, but sadly he could only take it up to the shoulders.

[quote] Mr. Borgnine, along with Mr. Bernard Schwartz, aka Tony Curtis, were the main culprits in torpedoing "Brokeback Mountain" chance of an Oscar.

Yeah, so goes two elderly men whose glory days were 50 years ago, so goes the nation.

The homophobia they voiced permeates the industry. I doubt many voters were waiting for the Ernie signal to appear in the sky before voting for (barf) Crash.

Same person no?

Didn't Clint Eastwood also refuse to watch BBM?

Borgnine was always a big guy aka “chesty.” I don’t think he ever qualified as fat or obese except to some of you gaunt queeny types.

^ Fat guy

Portly

Fat.

^^^ Dar har har.

husky

Big McLargehuge

Together, they looked like every working class Jewish couple in Brooklyn.

Big Boned

R77, morbidly deranged!!!

I tried to talk her out of it, but instead I talked her into it.

[quote] In one of her first movies she was co-starring with Eddie Cantor.

R72 For those with morbid curiosity, the movie was “Kid Millions” (1934) with Eddie Cantor. The movie’s finale production number (“Ice Cream Fantasy”) was MGM’s first attempt at using 3-strip Technicolor. Merman appears with Cantor in the first part of the color sequence.

At 2 minutes and 20 seconds, then-Goldwyn Girl Lucille Ball appears in a line of women holding large candy bars on sticks and walking up a stairway. I believe Lucy is the third woman from the top.

The best thing I can say about the production number is that it gave a lot of people work in the middle of the Great Depression.

I need explicit carnal expression, otherwise I lose interest.

Ethel truly had a face made for radio.

Fun fact: Jackie Susann was obsessed with Ethel Merman. Barbara Seaman's biography of Susann goes into some detail about the relationship the two women had.

Merman fired her agent after he presented her with an Odd Couple script that had her playing Jack Klugman's aunt. Sadly, she looked old enough to be her former leading man's mother.

[quote] Together, they looked like every working class Jewish couple in Brooklyn.

Actually, she's Dutch.

Fun fact: Her stage name Ethel Merman is a shortened version of her real name, Ethel ZimMERMAN.

I always wondered where the name Merman came from. Now you know.

R88 Amazing, since neither of them were Jewish.

R94 She was attractive as a young woman.

Don’t know where this Jewish stuff is coming from, neither “look” or seem Jewish. Not everyone from the New York boroughs is Jewish.

R100 And Borgnine was born and raised in Connecticut.

Actually R92 - Kid Millions was a Samuel Goldwyn picture.

Some people still don't get the difference between Samuel Goldwyn Productions and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

R102 & R103 Thanks for the correction. The history of Samuel Goldwyn in the film industry is interesting and more complicated than I had realized!