I'm wondering if - after at least a decade NOT being in a relationship - you have gotten back into one and are still in it?
At 56 and the last relationship I had was about 13 years ago, I had kind of resigned myself to the possibility that I would never be in another relationship again. Not because I didn't want one, just because it hasn't happened - no opportunities/options and wasn't in a good place to offer much to another person.
I went on a first date last night, and it went pretty well. Granted, it was just about an hour and 45 minute coffee date, but I liked him and we made plans to see each other for dinner next week. He's already texted me several times to tell me that he had a good time and he's looking forward to our next date, and also to wish me a good day in general.
The thing is, about 5 or 6 years ago, I'd be really excited about this, but now I'm kind of wary of the whole thing and am not really allowing myself to be excited about the potential to be in a relationship again, despite really not wanting to be alone anymore. I have for years often had the thought that whatever I was doing would be great if I had someone to share it with; but I've also had times that I've enjoyed myself despite not having someone there to share things with me. But holidays and everyday life feels like it could be so much better with someone to laugh with, cook, sleep, make love, travel with...everything.
But I'm really worried about letting down walls to this possibility. There is this huge skeptic sitting back and watching, waiting for him to say something that sends up a red flag, talk a certain way...just anything that would put me off the potential. That person is telling me to not expect too much, take it slow, etc. The other part of me that has so missed sharing my life is there too, but obviously to a much lesser level.
The crux of this post is I'm wondering what the real potential is here after being out of a relationship for SO long. Does it really happen? It feels like I have the taint of "single forever, will die alone" on me, and that is so far from what I ever saw for my life. I truly believe the meaning of love is to love others - to give and receive love. But I have a difficult time believing that after all this time, that could actually happen for me.
So, I am hoping to get some odds from all of you with your own experiences. TIA, DL.