[BENTONVILLE] - Hot off the viral success of her eulogy for her newly assassinated husband, Erica Kirk will partner with Walmart on a new line of bulletproof neckties, the retail giant announced today.
The former pageant queen worked closely with the retailer’s in-house design team, selecting an unusually pliant bulletproof steel alloy from which to fabricate the ties, which are then sheathed in MAGA red cotton that has been machine-embroidered with scenes from the Old Testament. Fashion-forward shoppers can safely speak their minds while sporting such indelible moments as King Solomon splitting the baby and the arrival of the Four Horsemen.
“My husband bravely gave his life for the freedom to speak loudly and hatefully,” said Kirk. “I’m thrilled to partner with Walmart to allow American men to continue to shoot their mouths off without getting their mouths shot off—stylishly and affordably.”