Question for older DL'ers: When you were younger, what's the best advice you got from a older gay man??

Not quite advice, but a warning: "Cocaine will eat you alive."

Watch the teeth

I never got advice from geriatrics.

I was in my 20s in the 90s. There weren't a lot of "older gay men" at that time so I have nothing 🤷🏻‍♂️

I abandoned an academic career in the humanities and was considering publishing, as something tangent to academics that maybe I'd be suited for. A friend set me up with a gay guy who worked on Wall Street and I went down to the city to have lunch with him. He told me: 'Forget publishing. Go into finance.' I listened to him and when I got my MBA, he hired me. And it all worked out.

I had many older gay friends from university and later (mostly with common professional interests) but, very much to their credit, they almost never offered advice except rarely on very specific things in passing. Instead, I gradually got a sense of their perspective. They were smart enough not to try to educate anyone but generous enough to show me other ways at looking at things and to challenge myself.

That poppers would relax my anus.

Guys love it when you take your teeth out before you blow them.

Don't make a big deal about your birthday when you're young, and you'll be able to lie about your age when you're older. However, never shave more than three years off the real number.

[quote]However, never shave more than three years off the real number.

In dog years?

In the early 1960s was told "Get a career you will love. You will never find happiness in a gay relationship." Since gay liberation, this advice is no longer true. Kids today have no idea how lucky they are to be Out and Proud.

The best advice I got when I was younger wasn't from an older gay man, it was from an elderly operatic soprano. She said "Never look back."

Oh wait, it *was* from an older gay man.

“Settle down.” But he never did. “Buy term life as long as you’re working through the employers group assuming a generous subsidy.” Make a will and name someone with power of attorney and keep it up to date. Likewise keep your passport handy and be able to access to ready cash. “Never buy a rental property for more than five times the annual gross.” (This was a long time ago.) “Don’t piss all of your money away: enjoy your youth but it doesn’t last and everything will cost more later.”

The sex was pretty good. I learned a lot from him. Dead too soon, murdered in NYC in 1989.

Don’t mistake tolerance for acceptance.

If the gentleman is paying, go for the vicuna.

"Not every one of your thoughts is so precious that it must be shared with the immediate world."

Always retain an aura of mystery.

"That suit would look better with cuffs." I tear up every time I think of it.

^^^MARY!

Never bring a trick back to your hotel room.

Buy stock in Apple Computer.

“Don’t move!”

No jeans or bottoming after age 40.

Have as much sex as you can.

"You're handsome! You need to get as much dick as you can because one day you'll be old and either no one will hit on you anymore or you won't be able to get it up."

This was told to me back in the late 70s. I was picky back then because I was hot and felt I had the pick of the litter.

I wish I would have listened, because he was right on both counts.

Ignoring that advice might’ve spared you a worse fate given the time period.

Just relax and don't clench your hole

"Nice ass. You need to show it off."

Fiber. Lots of fiber.

“Stop yelling.”

Condoms (literally said “wrap it up every time”) in 1985 from a doctor.

If you want to keep him, swallow.

"Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.”

To look your best you have to be uncomfortable.

Don't ask questions you won't like the answers to

Get kneepads or the bursitis will eventually kill ya!

"When you put the trash out, don't go back to that curb and bring it back in the house."

Some of the advice I got from other gay men:

Be true to yourself. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Don't burn bridges. Don't forget those who have helped you along the way to being successful

Q: How the hell can it get worse than this?

A: Oh it can always get worse.