Kraft Heinz splitting up, reversing decade-old megamerger

Just so long as they keep stocking all the ingredients I need to make Spanish Dinnah.

Spanish sausage, tomahtoes, peppers, pickled beets, and gin.

[quote] One of the companies, currently called Global Taste Elevation Co., will include shelf-stable meals and include brands such as Heinz, Philadelphia cream cheese and Kraft Mac & Cheese, Kraft Heinz said Tuesday. The other, currently called North American Grocery Co., will include brands such as Oscar Mayer, Kraft Singles and Lunchables. The names of the two companies will be released later.

This is peak Bush-era comedy. Classic DL fodder.

Welcome home ‘00s nostalgia.

Christ we’re old.

R2 The merger took place in 2015, under Obama not Bush.

Not the merger itself. Just all the bureaucratic speak. Strings of words that don’t actually mean anything.

Health marketing is outrageous. If you think you're doing something buying 11 dollar "primal" ketchup or whatever you're a fool.

I agree R5 but they have a captive audience with Zoomers and Millennials who think they're making a big, healthy improvement to their diets by buying this.

Whatever happened to Beatrice?

This was all due to Warren Buffet, who was behind the original merger and despite his reputation as being a brilliant oracle, actually often makes terrible mistakes.

Many people think that Buffet has been more lucky than skillful over his career.

[quote]This was all due to Warren Buffet,

Oh, dear.

R9 some people just want to drop the T from everything.

When the two companies merged in 2015 the stock was at $80 today that stock is $26.51. That is why they are breaking up, however I did notice that they are structuring the two new companies so that they don't compete with each other very much.

R7 Better question - Whatever happened to Baby Jane?

So now I have to buy my ketchup and my mayonnaise from different companies? Fuck this was not on my 2025 bingo card

This is DL. We buy our mayo from Duke’s.

Or even Hellmann's/Best Foods. Not Kraft.

Turns out most consumers think one giant megacorporation owning all the shit they eat is kinda squicky.

It’s ridiculous how brands get split between companies, like in this case where both the new companies will be selling Kraft branded products. These brands are able to coast on longtime brand reputation even though the owners keep changing.

But who gets the albums?