DL Throwback: The Gay Reformation

The Queer 95 Theses 🪩 • Thou shalt hydrate, lest ye be cast into the Valley of the Hangover. • Truvada is communion wafers—take freely, distribute liberally. • Judge not the twink, for he too shall age. • Leather is liturgy. Sequins are scripture. Crop tops are canon. • The dance floor is not thine living room: MOVE.

Let's open the hymnal a little wider:

• MDMA = holy spirit (sudden descent of joy and love, tongues of fire, everyone’s your best friend).

• Ketamine = contemplative monastic prayer (the mystic’s shortcut to ego-dissolution, not always pretty, but revelatory).

• G = baptism (you’re dunked deep, everything feels wet and reborn, but misjudge the dose and you drown).

• Harnesses = vestments. Black, leather, strappy, or neon mesh, but always holy garb.

• Fans = thuribles. When they crack, it’s incense in the temple — perfumed gusts for the faithful.

• Circuit queens = high-church bishops. They know the rituals, the choreography, the seasons (Pride, Mykonos, Thanksgiving in Fire Island). You genuflect in their presence, even if you side-eye their Botox.

• Drag queens = prophets. Some Old Testament (acid tongues, plagues of reads), some New Testament (gospel of glitter and grace).

• The DJ booth = pulpit. Praise be to Honey Dijon, Father GSP, and all apostles of BPM.

• The afters = midnight mass. Attendance optional, penance guaranteed.

• Group selfies = stained glass. Highly posed, unflattering in daylight, but they tell the story of the faithful for generations (or at least until your next iCloud purge).

You've given this a lot of thought and I'm aleady on my first fishbowl of Bordeaux and my Labour Day Pot Roast will be ready at 2:30 pm. Guests shortly. All in-laws LOL.

Bookmarked for later.

Hey, my boyfriend is still sleeping off the night and I don’t go in for Surprise Anal. The sky in NYC isn’t actually that blue this morning, but there are a lot of sirens, and my ADHD/ASD brain overheats sometimes. I’ve got to do something to keep myself calm.

Go on a cruise!

Or go cruising!

Voice - you on shrooms?

Definitely not shrooms, Teacake. Only done those once in my life.

And I am going on a cruise. But not until Thanksgiving.

And I tried cruising. But I love my boyfriend and he's sleeping on my side of the bed.

And I have to add, my 89 year old Québecoise mother-in-law is an absolute doll. Looks like Elizabeth McGovern. Her younger alcoholic sister, 82, is the volatile nut sheep of the family. She looks like Sylvia Miles in a nice frock - that her sister lent her.

Oy. I better lay off the Bordeaux and eat a little something. So nervous. Husband's sister will be accompanied by her controversial new boyfriend and his two grown children in tbeir 20s. Neither is attached.

Attached to what?

I'm told they are grim.

So apparently there are 3-4 of us old timers still here. Thank god.

I hope we all still look 25.