Let's Be Autumn in New England

I'm fat southerners going to Salem in October to get the "authentic" New England experience.

I’m the municipalities of Salem and Sleepy Hollow raking in the tourist money.

I'm Cabot Cove!

Im the roadside farm stands selling pumpkins, apples, cider, and cider donuts. I am nostalgia.

I'm the quintessential drive through Smuggler's Notch, Vermont. But the linked image is a mirage. In reality, there would be bumper-to-bumper traffic on the road.

I am a pumpkin spice latte from Dunkin Donuts.

I'm "leaf peeping."

I sound a little bit pervy.

We're the hot but vacuous bros moving into off-campus housing at Amherst, Brown, and Williams.

I am the perfect blue sky and gorgeous weather.

We’re the scarf and sweater gays at Emerson and Bowdoin.

I'm the apple picking!

I'm the apple cider donut. If you've never tasted me warm and fresh at a farm or farmers market, you don't know what you're missing. (Groxery store imitations dont count. ) 'm the culinary version of the best sex you've ever had. But don't eat too many of me unless you want the whore label you wear so proudly to be changed to FAT WHORE.

I'm Dunkin's

I am Grace Metalious saying "Then there is the time of Indian summer and fall, when the leaves are bright and beautiful, and that's when you're really grown and can do all the things you've always wanted to do."

I’m the smell of cinnamon. I am everywhere for the next few months. You cannot escape me.

[quote]I am the foliage.

Which is pretty much all there is to be.

I'm the local weatherman lost in the "Corn Maze" calling 911.

I’m the hot guy, from Prague, who learned the 13 ways to serve a lobster roll in Maine this summer. I’m now in a dentition center-I won’t be working on my Ph.D at Berkeley this semester.

Detention*

English is my fourth language 🤷🏻‍♂️

I'm a freshly cradled mug.

Geez, way to bring down the mood r18!

I’m the Salem traffic.

There isn't much to the Salem, MA. Seeing it once is MORE than enough.

In the money pole at the Topsfield Fair.

R21

I’m Nobody! Who are you?

Are you – Nobody – too?

Then there’s a pair of us!

I'm the freshmen Ivy League student from Cedar Rapids, Iowa wondering if I'll flunk out first semester and by the way, why are the store clerks so mean? Haven't they ever heard the word, Hi? So grumpy!

^freshman

I am Vermont. Go home.

I'm the WOODSTOCK INN of Woodstock, Vermont. I ooze charm and spiked cider.

I'm Harvard Square, packed to the gills with nowhere to park. I mean PAHK.

I’m the sophomore who goes to school “in Boston”—there’s more Dick than you can shake a stick at, down on the Charles River’s bank, near the houses…just some free advice.

I'm Formaggio Kitchen, rife with eye candy as far as the eye can see.

R18, ugh. We all know what dictator Trump is doing, but this is supposed to be a fun thread.

I am a vast collection of mugs at the Vermont Country Store. They're perfect for cradling.

I'm L.L. Bean. Slip into my crisp fleece vest.

I'm all the fuckin' tourists comin' to see the foliage, and they're all fuckin' drivin' like they're fuckin' RETAHDED.

I'm the trees turnin' their leaves into FAUL CULLAHS.

I'M THE SWEATAH WEATHAHH

for R25

Don't tell! They'll banish us, you know.

r36 only the ones from Rhode Island.

I'm The Big E in West Springfield, Massachusetts. If you grew up in New England your parents dragged you to this every year.

I’m Gerg! I’m back-/along with aging recipe!

I'm the collective disappointment of the thousands who go to "Sleepy Hollow" and find nothing...NOTHING remotely authentic helps visitors connect the place to America's best-known ghost story.

* fall fig recipe

Thanks Muriel!

R43 flunked Colonial geography in 3rd grade…and never recovered.

Wasn't born there, but lived there for a time, r41, and have fond memories of it. All the booths from all the different states. And all the men (Grindr being especially fun.) Never understood why the fucking baked potato was so popular tho. Why would anyonewait in line for an hour for a fucking baked potato?

The potatoe saved NE, Dan Quayle and BrendaD. Beat that!

I'm the corpse in Hitchcock's *The Trouble with Harry*. I'm sadly oblivious to some of the most magnificent autumnal New England scenery ever committed to Technicolor.

I'm Decorative Gourd Season, mothafuckas!

Have any of you been to the Berkshires in Autumn? It's supposed to be gorgeous.

I’m one of those small towns that goes all out on Halloween decorations. I’m infinitely more interesting than Salem or Woodstock, VT.

I have, r51. It is indeed goddamn gorgeous.

I'm a fall festival. I love corn dogs.

Im the $800 bed and breakfast in Vermont - that used to be $300 before the pandemic. Yet I’m still sold out because a bizarrely large group of people seem to have no limits on how much they can spend,

R52 that’s every town in the USA! Where have you been?

I'm Stowe

I'm L.L. Bean's fleece jacket. You will never have a better or more comfortable fleece jacket, and I last for years. I am so worth $70.

I'm Old Sturbridge Village, site of many a fall field trip for young New Englanders.

I’m the drug-addled child of a B-list celebrity using AI to write poetry. My analyst tells my step-dad that I might actually graduate…

I’m the Hallmark Channel. I show Fall-themed movies for about 2 weeks in October and immediately move to Christmas movies on October 20th.

I'm Mt Washington who sometimes has an early coating of snow on the peak which looks beautiful against the colorful foliage.

I’m the much better fall foliage found in Michigan, the New England of the Midwest.

I am the foilage.

I'm the von Trapp Family Lodge

I'm Nat King Cole on the golden oldies station at the security desk at Wigglesworth Hall.

We’re the 30-mile traffic backups to stare at orange leaves and buy tree syrup!

I’m the Masshole driver who’s honking at you for slowing down to look at the foliage.

Raking lots of leaves. Hard work but they smell good.

I am the golden evening light.

I’m the bowels. I get loose while everyone is stuck in the Berkshires

I'm every psychic in Salem, gearing up for a swindle.

I am the fall-decorated front doors and porches. Used to be only Christmas required this level of artistry but now every door needs a wreath of foliage, pumpkins of various sizes next to the door, a fall-themed welcome mat, and other sizable knick-knacks on the steps. These include odd pears made of twigs, lanterns with battery powered candles, glitter covered twigs and terracotta leaves. I include velvet ribbons in olive, orange and sunset yellow tied in sloppy bows.

(The mother threw away the twig pentagram the oldest daughter made.)

I’m a covered bridge, so much more photogenic in the fall.

I’m a cornucopia spilling forth shiny apples, miniature pumpkins and variegated corn.

I'm me...on the West Coast, living in Northern CA and wishing (as I do, every year) how much I could be back Western NY, seeing and smelling the gorgeous leaves juxtaposed against a brilliant blue sky, waking up on the crisp mornings to the leaves skidding along the driveway with the breeze, tall corn stalks waving in the fields, the cider mill full to the brim with people getting freshly pressed cider, filling up on cider donuts, and buying little and big pumpkins.

I really miss it so dearly every year since I moved back here.

The covered bridges surrounded by autumn leaves is a sight to behold.

I'm fortunate enough to live near one.

I am an old lady face made from an apple

I am the darkness that falls at 6 pm, in October.

I’m an undergraduate in a raccoon coat at the Harvard-Yale game.

I’m Maura Murray’s skeleton being bathed in some lovely fall foliage!

I am the Yankee Pot Roast at the Peyton Place Inn

Im the dread of the shortened days heralding the beginning of the the cold, gray, claustrophobic winter - when California Dreaming plays constantly in my head. Love New England in the Fall - but Nov to April I’ll take anywhere warm and sunny. The sacrifice of 6 months for 1 month (often less) of Fall color will never make it worthwhile for me.

[quote]by the way, why are the store clerks so mean?

I'm me and I still haven't gotten used to this after being here 15 years.

[quote] …why are the store clerks so mean?

R26 It’s New England. You want friendly? Visit the South, but don’t let them catch you being gay.