My husband treats me as his dirty little secret – and won’t have sex at home

My husband and I never have sex at home, only at our friends’ places or in hotel rooms. We’ve lived together, improbably, for four years now. When we hooked up six years ago I never expected anything serious, just a one-night stand with a hot flight attendant.

After 15 casual sexual encounters we had a screaming row about my sleeping with someone else, and after the 16th, we decided to be in an exclusive relationship. After 40 meet-ups, he brought home an exotic strain of gonorrhoea; when we had got over the shock, and finished a course of antibiotics, we started planning the wedding.

It took us a while to find the right place to live together and we stayed with friends for the first three months. We had an incredible amount of sex during that time, of which he was nearly always the instigator – using words such as “she’s out for milk – let’s gooooo”. We kept this up for the first few months in our own home, but gradually we ended up just cuddling in our shared bed, and, after a few rejected attempts on my part to spice things up a bit, I settled for just that.

He admitted once (when I tried to have sex with him on the kitchen floor) that my furniture was too “me”, it intruded on his mind – he preferred anonymous spaces. And, truly, when we’re not home, suddenly it’s all fireworks again: in a friend’s guest room during a dinner party, in countless hotels, and a few times in very public situations that I still feel anxious about.

cont:

I do love the excitement – but I’m feeling increasingly manipulated. My husband is the “bottom”, and he’s always ready when he decides we’re doing it. I feel as if he’s treating me like his dirty secret, and that makes me worry about what he’s getting up to in all those foreign hotels he’s staying in. We make increasing use of the blindfold and other BDSM materials, and on a recent hotel visit he suggested inviting up one of the waiters he’d been flirting with to “share” him. I don’t know if I can cope with the emotional whiplash for much longer. How can I get the balance back in our life?

Oh, dear.

He's a whore, darlin'. You don't marry this kind.

"Dear Penthouse Forum ..."

[quote] he brought home an exotic strain of gonorrhoea; when we had got over the shock, and finished a course of antibiotics, we started planning the wedding.

That may be the greatest sentence I've ever read.

Dirty fags!

Gross 🤮!

The response from Psychotherapist Pamela Stephenson Connolly is, as usual, complete bullshit. She should have just stayed being Mrs. Billy Connolly.

The last paragraph is the highlight. This bitch…

[Quote] . But I suspect the thing that is bothering you the most is that, in common with many people who “top” exclusively, you are experiencing burnout. To make matters worse, he is passively controlling. This too must be discussed, and challenged in a non-blaming manner.

Fortunately, it doesn't sound remotely familiar to me.

You were FUCKING A GUY!!! In my FUCKING HOUSE! YOU FUCKING WHORE!!

The furniture most be pretty horrendous if it kills the husband's desire to fuck at home.

Such a beautiful relationship, measured in ‘meet-up’s’. Romance is not dead.

Willing to have sex in public doesn’t seem like a dirty little secret to me.

Why bother to be married in the first place?

Miranda? Is that you?