Holy Mary! Trump aims for heaven!

Too late, bitch. See ya!

If Trump goes to Heaven, WHO goes to Hell??????

Me if I'm lucky.

If he's actually admitting he's mortal that's a big tell on the state of his health.

He must have seen the new South Park episodes

Trump can try to be the most Christian individual between now and his death, it will not make a dent against the 80 years of evil, hateful, selfish, harmful behavior towards humanity.

Did you read the article? Apparently people are telling him ("people are saying") that he's not going to make it to heaven, but he thinks if he stops the war in Ukraine, that'll put him over the top.

Did I get that right? Because reading the article was making me queasy as well.

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God

Trump is searching for a loophole to escape his destiny with me?

I hope this is his way of acknowledging that he's circling the drain.

Hell is too nice a place for this pathetic asshole.

Sorry Donnie. That’s one deal you aren’t getting out of via bankruptcy.

Bitch, please! Not even if you were completely covered in The Blood of Christ.

You should have thought of that before now, Asshole!

I had to double check that’s not an Onion article 😵‍💫 How far we’ve fallen.

Is he finally getting ready to croak? Maybe he received some sort of medical news that his exit is coming up - FAST!

He'll never get to heaven if he breaks our hearts. And our country.

Guy dies and goes to heaven.

While on the line at the gate, he sees a rude and rumpled guy with orange hair and a long tie cut to the front and go in. He thinks, how did Donald Trump get into heaven?

When he gets the front, the man asks the clerk about Trump going in.

The clerk replies, “That’s God. He only thinks he’s Trump.”

I mean if the Catholics bring back the sale of indulgences maybe. The scale of his sins is such it'd probably require him to fully fund a rebuilding of St. Peters though.

Pedophile seeks redemption, oh wait no Epstein files.

Wouldn't it be ironic, if this nightmare ends with Dump getting Jesus and confessing everything?

R21 “I just had to confess! I’m the most honest person whoever lived!”

Come, Donald, gird your loins, for we must journey south of Heaven.

Personally I think Donnie's best chance is Space X.

The most iconic BYE FELICIA! of all time.

I’m sorry Jesus but it’s true. If I see Trump there don’t let me in. Because it’s obviously the devil with a mirage.

Is anyone fooled by this? This is red meat for his christofascists.

And he is saying, without saying it plainly, that he’s sorry for his past sins (Epstein files) and has atoned.

He thinks he's going to get into heaven by making Ukraine surrender millions of citizens into the hands of Putin? Is he on drugs?

Instead of a Nobel Prize, he’s going to demand sainthood.

I thought (I could totally be wrong) that for a lot of Protestant denominations, deeds don't matter.

For Catholics it does, but I didn't think it did for many Protestants.

Either way, all he has to do is repent of his sins and "accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior," and even if it's only in his mind the second before he dies, he's been "saved."

Christianity's not fair.

Hate to tell him the bad news, but he will keep company with Epstein, and eventually with Melania and Putin in the depths of hell.

Don't be fooled: This is part of a calculated plan to appear more religious and contrite, so that when the Epstein files finally blow up he can beg for Christian forgiveness. And many of the Christo-fascists will forgive him, as that is the "Christian thing to do." It's all an act...

[quote] Personally I think Donnie's best chance is Space X.

"Heaven Is 10 Zillion Light Years Away" and Dump will never make it.

He will cease to exist

Does Donnie Big Dump really believe in Heaven and Hell, nothing about him seems religious? He just recognizes that it is all a big con and the conman loves getting in on the con. He does want people to revere him when he is gone just as much as he wants it while he is alive so invoking heaven just adds to the crap he says to get his followers to love him and hopefully buy some of his worthless shit he sells.

If he believes in god and heaven and hell and all that shit, why would he behave in a way that ensures he's going to roast in hell for eternity?

Cosplay

I'd be fine with a Trump National Holiday if only that motherfucker would croak right now. I'd love to have a paid day off work to go burn Trump flags in the town square.

He’s just speaking their language to appear to be someone of faith and interested in being of good moral character. But we know that’s BS of thd highest order. There is nothing noble in him trying to end the war in Ukraine.

Check out those cankles.

This is your end, Lumpy.

Oh Jesus, don't tell me he's going to start singing "You Must Love Me".

Worse than the cankles, R40, is the horribly disfigured shape of the foot itself. Look at the wrinkled leather as the toe shifts massively to the right.

Trust in the Lord.

My pie in the sky hope is for summer of 2027, maybe 2028, after Democrats take over the House and Senate. I want him to be in the state he knows best; raging against a world that sees through his attempt to hide his many failures. The man has stomped on this country’s most fragile fault lines because he has been a loser his whole life. Let him stew.

[Quote] Don't be fooled: This is part of a calculated plan to appear more religious and contrite, so that when the Epstein files finally blow up he can beg for Christian forgiveness. And many of the Christo-fascists will forgive him, as that is the "Christian thing to do." It's all an act...

Well I’m not fooled, r32, because I said the same thing at r26.

R41, he’ll either be buried in Arlington or at some high security cemetery. No urine is getting to him.

I think Arlington is open to the public R47.

He will have to be buried in Mar a Lago (if they will allow it) or some kind of crypt in New York.

Hey, there's plenty of room at Bedminster!

His final grift will be fundraising for en enormous, gilt tomb that puts the Taj Mahal to shame. His kids will be nicke-and-diming the world for the next fifty years to raise the needed funds - but somehow they'll never quite have enough to break ground, so the body will be kept in a freezer at Mar a Lago.

I'd like to see hem buried next to his beloved Ivana.

[Quote] I think Arlington is open to the public [R47].

Yes but presidential gravesites have guards. Good luck pissing on JFK without getting pinned to the ground and arrested.

Lucifer himself did more for God than Donald Trump ever has, or will.

Lucifer was beautiful and musically talented, leading the angelic chorus. Broke God's heart when he showed his glorious ass and had to be cast out of Heaven.

If DUMP thinks he is going to a place called Heaven, then he'd have to know Right from Wrong (which he might) but his actions during his miserable life would take countless lifetimes to roll back.

I believe that how we live this life will determine what is next, maybe moving to a higher realm (like being around really SMART beings) or something like that. Then again, maybe death is just 'nothing' no matter how you live, Good or Bad.

When you ankles have become wider than your shoes, the veins in your extremities can no longer properly return the blood supply that your arteries are circulating out.

A depressing thought from a life-long atheist: Heaven is a Christian construction, so you have to judge Trump from a Christian perspective. If he were to confess that he has sinned and truly regret his actions, Christianity offers forgiveness for sin. If he also accepts Jesus as his savior, then he is forgiven. Do I think he is capable of any of this? No! But according to Christian dogma heaven is not out of reach if he truly repents and accepts Christ. The only unforgivable sin (according to the Christian Bible) is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (a hardened, persistent rejection of God's grace and truth, even when presented by the Holy Spirit). I'm not qualified to say whether or not he is guilty of that...

I take solace in the fact that it's all made up bullshit, and dead is dead. Trump will neither go to paradise nor burn in hell. He'll just cease to exist. And that will be fine with me.

I was just thinking if the Democrats take over the House of Reps in 2026, that be just the ticket to send him into the great beyond.