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The manager who shares way too much about her employee

Whatever happened to discretion in America ? I know when you're typing anonymously on your keyboard you can get away with anything, but person-to-person contact ? No one has any discretion these days as to what can be shared with others and what's to be kept private ?

Last night, I met a friend for dinner. We're both in our early 60s, and usually avoid chain restaurants in our area. But last night she had a $50 gift card to Chili's which she won in a raffle a few months ago, and wanted to get rid of it - so off to Chili's we went. I haven't been there in a while, but usually stick to their steak fajitas.

We got seated right away, and had a very nice woman as our server named 'Missy'. She had to be in her mid-50s. Very pleasant, very efficient, very polite, and kept checking on everyone in her section (she had quite a few tables) to make sure we had everything we needed. I honestly haven't had service like this in a chain restaurant in decades. The food was actually very good (but wow - they really cut back on their fajitas in portion sizes and what comes with - mostly everything is now an add-on).

Towards the end of our meal as we were ready to settle our bill, the restaurant manager, 'Sharon' came over to our table to check on us. She had to be in her 60s, and if you remember the show 'Glee', she looked / talked exactly like actress Dot Marie Jones. As she talking to us, she shows us how to pay our bill at the table on those mini-terminals they have (they had brand new ones installed yesterday, so she wanted to go over them with every table) and asks us to fill in the survey at the end for our server, and 'tip her generously'. Hmm.

She then tells us our server 'Missy' is a hard worker, and is raising her grandson on her own, because her daughter's in jail. She says Missy's been there since that location opened 10 years ago, but the district manager wants this woman Sharon to get rid of her, because she takes too much time off every few months to 'get clean'. Sharon tells us that by leaving good reviews for Missy, she has enough 'ammunition' against the DM to keep her. Then she walks away from the table to talk to another table.

In less than two minutes, she told us much more than we ever needed to know about Missy. My friend and I just stared at each other with our mouths open - we couldn't believe this 'manager' shared all this with us. In the end we did leave Missy an excellent review, and a very generous tip (35%) but not because the manager asked us to, but because she deserved it. When we were leaving, we were looking for 'Missy', but she was no where to be found. If we did see her as we were leaving, we would have politely 'shared' with her our experience with her manager without getting into details.

At this point, I don't know for certain what can be done - but what the manager did (no matter her intention) was completely out of line. Anyone else have experience such as this - either as a customer, or as an employee where a manager or coworker shared 'too much' about you ? How did you handle it ?

by Anonymousreply 46August 13, 2025 12:59 PM

Editor!

by Anonymousreply 1August 12, 2025 12:17 PM

-10/10

by Anonymousreply 2August 12, 2025 12:31 PM

I fell asleep at "off to Chilli's we went..."

by Anonymousreply 3August 12, 2025 12:33 PM

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

by Anonymousreply 4August 12, 2025 12:35 PM

Where is the “Jump to Recipe” option?

by Anonymousreply 5August 12, 2025 12:44 PM

OP, learn brevity.

by Anonymousreply 6August 12, 2025 12:47 PM

Chili’s has its own EST on here now? Seriously? We’ve become corporate. A matter of time before we’re bought by private equity.

by Anonymousreply 7August 12, 2025 12:55 PM

You could point this out on Yelp without revealing any details about your server. Just say the manager came and told you a ton of personal details about your server, and you were disturbed on their behalf.

by Anonymousreply 8August 12, 2025 12:57 PM

Can I get a free margarita?

by Anonymousreply 9August 12, 2025 12:58 PM

Ye gads. A homo could start to turn female and post-menopausal just trying to read this dreck.

by Anonymousreply 10August 12, 2025 1:07 PM

I’m a frau by osmosis!

by Anonymousreply 11August 12, 2025 1:09 PM

I actually like that the manager is out there batting for the employee. As inappropriate as it may be, it came from a good place. Now to discuss Chili's. The last time I went to one on a biz trip (late arrival in Co.) I spent the night in the bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 12August 12, 2025 1:09 PM

Oh, please. Who hasn’t spent the night in a Chili’s bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 13August 12, 2025 1:32 PM

Post a Google review about the manager’s inappropriate behavior.

by Anonymousreply 14August 12, 2025 1:37 PM

Why are some of you bitches going on about the length of the OP? It's not that long, and it's well written. So piss off, will you?

by Anonymousreply 15August 12, 2025 1:41 PM

Forget it r15, it's Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 16August 12, 2025 1:51 PM

[quote] she had a $50 gift card to Chili's which she won in a raffle

I love a good raffle!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 17August 12, 2025 2:18 PM

R16 wrong thread

by Anonymousreply 18August 12, 2025 2:24 PM

[quote] Why are some of you bitches going on about the length of the OP? It's not that long, and it's well written. So piss off, will you?

It has not much to say, and takes far too long to say it.

[quote] Last night I was at a restaurant with a very skilled and friendly server. At one point the manager shared all sorts of personal information about the server’s personal and professional problems in the hopes that we would leave a good review for her because the district manager wants to fire the server and the manager wants to keep her. I think this was an invasion of the server’s privacy, but I’m not sure what I could do about it. Ideas?

by Anonymousreply 19August 12, 2025 2:36 PM

I had no problem with it, R19. Again, piss off.

by Anonymousreply 20August 12, 2025 3:18 PM

OP's tale reminds me of an experience I recently had in a commercial establishment with an employee.

My partner and I were becoming quite desperate to find something our beloved (rescue!) senior cat would eat. I googled high and low for suggestions, many of them worked, but only for awhile. Ultimately, our fur baby continued to look depressed and skeletal.

In one last ditch attempt to quiet thoughts of compassionate euthanasia (for my cat, not me!) I LITERALLY burst into the local pet food supplier with the intention of buying everything and anything I thought my silly boy might eat. Having been there before I did not expect much support from the rotating employees who tended to be zoomers focused on their invisible knitting.

But lord have mercy this time round I was face to face with a zoomer Adonis who, instantly recognizing my emotional distress, calmly and gently guided me to several appetite-stimulating products. I was smitten. Then, just when I thought my fortune couldn't be more fulfilling, he led me into a back room where they keep their raw ingredients.

Reader, we fucked.

Finally, in an embarrassment of riches, our frail, semi-comatose cat sprang into life and devoured everything I brought home.

by Anonymousreply 21August 12, 2025 3:35 PM

R21, may you be attacked by a swarm of bees for reasons known to you.

by Anonymousreply 22August 12, 2025 3:39 PM

I’m sorry, r20. I should have realized that once you had spoken, no other views were necessary or appreciated. I hope you can forgive my impertinence.

by Anonymousreply 23August 12, 2025 3:55 PM

R22 I've got the papers right here, take em all, they're suffocating....

by Anonymousreply 24August 12, 2025 3:57 PM

[quote]I should have realized that once you had spoken, no other views were necessary or appreciated.

No, obviously YOU'RE the one who can't stand it when anyone disagrees with you. The truth is, you're entitled to your opinion that the OP is too long, and I'm entitled to disagree with that opinion and to tell you to piss off.

by Anonymousreply 25August 12, 2025 4:42 PM

[quote] No, obviously YOU'RE the one who can't stand it when anyone disagrees with you.

Which one of us is telling the other to “piss off.”

That might be a clue.

by Anonymousreply 26August 12, 2025 5:16 PM

Plot twist -- it's all just a game Missy and Sharon play. They keep score with a running bet about whether a customer will give Missy an unusually big tip or not, after hearing the white-trash gossipy sob story from Sharon.

by Anonymousreply 27August 12, 2025 5:32 PM

OP - you could have told the manager you don't want to hear it and in your opinion, she needs to be more respectful. After the first big reveal. Cat got your tongue?

by Anonymousreply 28August 12, 2025 5:38 PM

That was really inappropriate of the supervisor.

by Anonymousreply 29August 12, 2025 5:46 PM

Well, that was bizarre.

by Anonymousreply 30August 12, 2025 6:22 PM

I’m hungry for fajitas now.

by Anonymousreply 31August 12, 2025 6:27 PM

Unless they share cock sizes, I don’t wanna know.

by Anonymousreply 32August 12, 2025 6:54 PM

r21 1000+ for sarcasm, 10/10 for the LOLs

by Anonymousreply 33August 12, 2025 7:15 PM

I would actually drop an email to corporate. that's wildly inappropriate and if I were the employee I would be devastated if my manager were doing that. Not in a bitching way but in a 'can you please get her to stop doing this wildly inappropriate thing, she's super nice but that's not ok' way.

by Anonymousreply 34August 12, 2025 7:29 PM

You & your pal need to stop stalking poor Missy, OP.

by Anonymousreply 35August 12, 2025 8:51 PM

You should've had the nachos and your pussy smells.

by Anonymousreply 36August 12, 2025 8:59 PM

Thanks everyone. R34 I actually did end up emailing their 'corporate contact' and let them know what happened. I didn't ask for a reply (didn't need one) as I thought it was more important for them to know what was going on in that location.

by Anonymousreply 37August 12, 2025 11:46 PM

I got a maid job at Best Western and on the morning of my first day my manager got into a fight with one of my colleagues because she was dating her son and had broken a window in her trailer or something. The manager tells me, “we call her chilli dog. Know why? She loves anal sex.” This was in the early 2000s and I was shocked as a young gay that one’s manager could announce such a thing about an employee. I left right then, not sure what I was thinking taking the job anyway, I guess I thought I’d be able to watch TV and work alone cleaning, which I enjoy.

by Anonymousreply 38August 12, 2025 11:47 PM

Me and Sharon was smoking them rocks, girl, you know what I'm talking about? ROCKS

by Anonymousreply 39August 13, 2025 12:23 AM

R38 Even though your story might be true, I love it anyway.

by Anonymousreply 40August 13, 2025 2:02 AM

[quote] as I thought it was more important for them to know what was going on in that location.

Aren't you the exemplary white citizen. Heaven forbid you should tell this over-sharing Sharon to her face that she was doing no favors to anyone in spite of her good intentions.

Best to inform the Corporation about Sharon's over-sharing and possibly get her fired. Well done!

by Anonymousreply 41August 13, 2025 2:43 AM

R41 Thank you for trolling !

by Anonymousreply 42August 13, 2025 2:49 AM

R42 You're welcome! Is your bête-noire fired yet? Have you won another raffle and confirmed it?

by Anonymousreply 43August 13, 2025 2:56 AM

You probably got Missy fired

by Anonymousreply 44August 13, 2025 3:03 AM

If something like that had happened? I would have told the manager how inappropriate she was, right to her face.

by Anonymousreply 45August 13, 2025 3:10 AM

“Does Missy know that you are telling people all of this?”

“Wow, I’m surprised that you are allowed to share all of these private details about your employees!”

“What is Missy’s address? Where does her grandson go to school? There’s no man that lives with them?”

by Anonymousreply 46August 13, 2025 12:59 PM
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