My Fat Daughter Has Her Eye on The Big Apple

Is it because, deep down, she's upset that no man ever makes a pass at her?

Cindy, it’s not too late for an abortion.

The only apples your fat daughter eats are in pies. Usually at least five at a time.

R3 We tried a luau once in Hawaii, after daddy lost the election, but the filthy natives kept trying to feed her apples and tie her to a stick. I don't get it!

Does she suffer hair thinning? I can see her looking like her FATHER, but with bigger breastesses. Those are huge shoulders.

[quote]Does she suffer hair thinning?

It's her own damn fault.

My Fat Daughter has a thin skin and thinning hair. Everything else about her is corpulent.

But will she have fat grandchildren, too?

That gay cater-waiter she married is a little chubby himself.

The fat thing needs to loosen up that top knot and maybe she'd be a bit more agreeable.

Frankly I am surprised My Fat Daughter and/or her fat husband haven’t tried to eat one of their babies. When My Fat Daughter is hangry, she has been known for consume drywall and car seats. She’s like a billy goat-My Fat Daughter will eat ANYTHING.

It's actually how My Fat Daughter and Her Homosexual Husband originally bonded, while snacking and waiting for Golden Corral to open.

Fat women and homosexuals have one thing in common: They'll put ANYTHING in their mouths!

R10 What makes you so sure they haven't?

My Fat Daughter keeps telling me the older one can’t come visit because she’s at far camp or Gymboree or out hunting with the fat husband (such an odd activity for a five year old).

Maybe My Fat Daughter ate her and she’s covering it up, like how she used to hide the remnants of roast turkeys and birthday cakes under her bed as a child, from one of her late night refrigerator raids.

When My Fat Daughter was ten she sneaked into the kitchen and stole the raw 30 lb turkey and prime rib the cook was making for our 30 person Thanksgiving dinner. She consumed both and threw the carcasses under the bed.

We had to serve Lindsey Graham, the Liebermans and the children Burger King that year for Thanksgiving dinner. That’s when I installed alarms on the refrigerator doors and bear traps on the floor to prevent her grazing (and we can all see how much good THAT did).

OP and the "fat daughter" schtick is a little bit played out.

R14 = Fat Meghan

Well, unlike any of you homosexuals, Meghan made it to wikifeet! Yes that’s right, teenaged boys are looking at her and stroking their erect members, mattresses creaking! So THERE!