Old, fat, out of work actor Dean Cain joins ICE

Sumo wrestler.

He finally got a job! First one in a very long time.

How many steps can he move before demanding oxygen?

Here’s a lead for you, Dean. 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Check the roof.

Mentally ill.

Has Teri Hatcher commented?

He couldn’t move to Russia like that other unemployable tub of shit, Seagal?

We’ll see you at the border, Agent Tanaka!

Like someone already said if he lost weight he would be handsome-maybe a TV show? BUT NO being a Trump/ICE shit is better.

Yes a new tv show costarring Alex Baldwin and a lot of guns…

His first assignment.

“If it’s brown, it goes down”

R6 You’re an idiot.

This entire time I thought he was hispanic. Didn't know he was Japanese/white.

Either way he's a moron.

Supperman!

Time really does go by fast, hard to believe he's 59 now. At that age seeing him trying to run down immigrants in strawberry fields should present some great Benny Hill moments of a bygone era (cheesy slapstick music included).

Same here-thought he was Hispanic all these years and he was actually Obnoxious.

Why are so many men of his age averse to shaving (also looking at you, Ari Melber)? It's such a sloppy look that feels somehow disrespectful of societal norms. Especially on people whose looks are a huge part of their jobs.

Don't get me wrong; on the right man a beard can be incredibly hot, as can a bit of stubble if you're just lounging around on a lazy weekend, eating, drinking and fucking.

But come Monday morning? Shave that shit off... or go ahead and commit to a damn beard.

Cain ain’t able

Send Dean back to Japan where he's never lived.

Yeah. See the Tom Selleck thread r18. Same thing but he's 80.

Closet case.

Not every evil person is secretly gay, r22. It is possible to be evil and not gay. It’s possible to be gay and not evil. Why do you do that?

[quote] This entire time I thought he was hispanic.

[quote] Same here-thought he was Hispanic

Some dim-witted posters on DL think Tyler Hoechlin is the Mexican-looking Superman.

Enabling fascism makes you look FAT, Dean.

JFC.

Maybe he's looking to get sexually harrassed again

[quote]Enabling fascism makes you look FAT, Dean.

He doesn't have to do anything to look fat; merely standing makes him look fat.

I'm ashamed that I used to jerk off to him.

Aging FAG

I guess doing The Broken Hearts Club fucked with his head. Or perhaps he’d prefer we all forget he was one of the stars of a gay-themed movie.

Bigoted, brainless and fat is no way to go through life.

Damn he got fat!

His autograph show appearances will dry up now.

At least he'll be recognized, unlike all the other, masked ICE pigs.

This all smacks of a setup.

Remember the rumor that surfaced a couple of months ago about the Noem talking to networks about making a reality show about ICE? Having Dean Cain join ICE would be the perfect setup. "Join me, Dean Cain, and America's sweetheart, Kristi Noem, as we travel this great country of ours and round up evil, murderous illegals in Home Depot parking lots and in the front yards of rich white people needing their lawns mowed."

R23, the closet makes people insane.

Well, he meets the qualifications - morbidly obese and unemployable in any other industry.

I wonder if it’s too late for them to incorporate this into the next South Park episode.

Is this part of the reality show Big Tit Puppy Killer promised us?

Maybe they could reboot The Apprentice with Trump firing a different secretary each week.

I need to stream, I’m out of Netflix.

R40 See R36

One in his position could make easy money signing autographs and taking pictures at various cons. Or one could join ICE. JFC. Dude is so far gone mentally it's unbelievable.

Dean Cain looks Hispanic, deport him.

He could lose some weight so his four inch cock would look like five!

Yeah, R24, probably the same ones who say Italians aren't white and Catholics aren't Christians.

A good chunk of DL is racist white evangelical conservatives posting from the deep south. They probably get offended when women wear pants and small children don't address them as "Sir."

Could he sink any lower?

[quote] It's such a sloppy look that feels somehow disrespectful of societal norms.

Mary!

r45 it does appear that way. Posters who grew up in close-knit and "tribal" rural/semi-rural communities in the South and Midwest in the middle of the last century, and still have all of their bizarre prejudices and opinions that are very much of a certain time and place. And they've never evolved with the passing decades.

It's truly bizarre.

Yes, South Park showed his ICE recruitment process

What a stupid asshole. The con circuit provides a TON of $$$ for people like him, he probably alienated a lot of people who attend those cons with this ICE shit.

I hope they sexually harrass him mercilessly.

Hope some burly Mexican guy beats the shit out of him

[quote]Shave that shit off... or go ahead and commit to a damn beard.

He's Asian, this may be as much facial hair as he'll ever have.

He's immigrant-adjacent, like so many MAGATs.

Man, hearing people talk (through their hats, mind you) about the new "woke" Superman movie really sent him into a tailspin, didn't it?

If anyone has Cain's socials, send him a link to that Men.com porn parody of the Justice League movie and see how he reacts!

What was "woke" about the new Superman? It didn't have anything blatanly "woke" about it that I could see.

He's a disgrace.

Take it easy on the folks who said he looks Mexican or Hispanic. There are some who do have Asian-appearing eyes. I didn't post earlier because I didn't have an example, but someone just posted a thread about David Bautista (who I'd never heard of. Yes, I'm old) and he has those eyes. My neighbor, who is Mexico also has them. His younger brother's (nickname is "El Chino") are even more pronounced.

There's plenty out there about it. Genetic basis due to migration across the Bering Strait ages ago. Also more recent migration of Filipinos during Spanish colonial rule.

Forgot link of Bautista. Yes, I really am old.

[quote]Take it easy on the folks who said he looks Mexican or Hispanic. There are some who do have Asian-appearing eyes.

There are people who are 100% Irish who have pseudo Asian-looking eyes. Barry Keough is one of them.

[quote] My neighbor, who is Mexico

Does he have an enormous birthmark the shape of Mexico over half his face?

I told you I'm old! And stoned, so I didn't proofread. Autocorrect, I swear.

[quote]He's a disgrace.

An obese disgrace!

We are all living in the blackest of black comedies. Is this for real? If it is, it’s terrifying!

I’ve asked before, and I’ll ask again: Why do so many of the B-list hunks of the 80’s and 90’s go MAGA?

I think I’m turning Ice-anese. I think I’m turning Ice-anese. I really think so. 🎶🎼🎵

R56 There are subplots involving Superman helping immigrants escape from detention. And the evil Luthor character is a hybrid of Trump and Musk.

The reason ICE is hiring everybody and their grandmother is because anyone with half a heart and working brain knows that what their doing is despicable and probably illegal so they quit that shit almost immediately. He's a psychopath if he does it more than a few shifts. Soon it will be psychos all the way down

r67 the people Luthor imprisoned were his enemies, they weren't immigrants.

R69 I didn't say he did, dear. I was simply address the other poster's question about why Dean Cain thinks the movie is "woke."

^ "Addressing."

I'll "oh, my" myself.

I wonder what Teri Hatcher thinks of this.

Looks like he's already joined FAT!

He joined ICE because he's broke, just like the other sad fattie losers who signed up.

well since he's a hateful MAGA, I guess it makes sense. The only thing is - pot calling the kettle black much? they hate people with darker skin, brown hair and brown eyes......

I guess this is what you do when you’re too old and fat for OnlyFans and Cameo doesn’t cut it.

I wonder if he’s going to try and monetize this somehow. Like with some shitty, exploitative reality series on X where he’s followed around performing his “duties” a la Cops.

Bold of him to think all his fellow ICE agents will recognize him from his TV series 30 years ago rather than throwing him into detention without due process because he doesn't look entirely caucasian.

[quote]I wonder if he’s going to try and monetize this somehow. Like with some shitty, exploitative reality series on X where he’s followed around performing his “duties” a la Cops.

You don't have to wonder. You can bet the farm this fat gassy maga cunt is joining the Gestapo to position himself for a career in politics. He's catnip for dumb shit MAGATS who will vote for him because he filled out a pair of tights as Superman

A Princeton grad, believe it or not. But he was on the football team, the kind of admissions preference whites people don’t get upset about.

A Facebook friend repeated a wonderful quote re this story, though he couldn’t remember who said it or where he read it:

“People who are beautiful but stupid spend the last half of their lives wondering why people aren’t as nice to them as they used to be.”

[quote][R56] There are subplots involving Superman helping immigrants escape from detention. And the evil Luthor character is a hybrid of Trump and Musk

Israel-loving wingnuts are also pissed because they interpreted a plot about a powerful country invading a neighboring poor country as being a stand in for Israel/Palestine, claiming it's "anti-Israel." Most non-wingnuts saw that plot as more similar to Russia/Ukraine, particularly the aesthetics of the evil country looking [italic]very [/italic] Slavic and not remotely Israeli, but it's very telling that these folks saw an evil, war-mongering state as automatically a representation of Israel and took immediate offense, with zero self-awareness.

His kryptonite is Krispy Kreme.

Join ICE-Free Guns!

I hope his paycheck bounces!

“I lost my virginity to THIS hot mess?!”

Dean is an acquaintance. He’s fucking adorable and very sweet. But obviously he’s lost his mind. I’d still ravish him though.

Tempt him back otherwise, r87.

[quote]d. I’d still ravish him though.

Congratulations. You're just as stupid as he is.

R87 - so why do you think he’s like this now? Or was he always MAGA-minded? You’d think a guy who’s arguably a minority himself, and who’s played gay roles so maybe has/had some empathy for gay people, might be a bit more liberal minded.

[quote]I’d still ravish him though.

Why? He's old and fat and the only super thing about him now is his Supercut haircut.

[quote]Dean is an acquaintance. He’s fucking adorable and very sweet. But obviously he’s lost his mind. I’d still ravish him though.

He's a fucking Nazi.

"Fucking adorable?" "Very sweet?"

Is he "fucking adorable" when he's stuffing a law abiding father into an unmarked van while his 5-year old watches? Is he "very sweet" when he's grabbing a 60 year old house cleaner off the street to send her to Alligator Alcatraz?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Someone should drag you off the street and stuff you in a cage somewhere.

And R91 is correct, you must be blind on top of being fascist.

How you feeling now R 87? Adorable?

Yeah.Turn in your DL membership-we won’t miss you.

Why haven't Chachi and Kevin Sorbo signed up yet?

Dean fell under the spell of the cult leader, as so many others have. And now he does anything the MAGA cult leader says, without question.

Fallen Stars fall in line…

[quote]I’d still ravish him though.

Come on. Even if Dean Cain had the best cock in America, you'd still have to deal with the brainwashed MAGA bullshit coming out of his mouth 24/7. There's so many better looking, horny men who want and need to be ravished without the extra baggage of belonging to a cult. Set your standards higher, R87.

Sweet and adorable. R87 really put that in print.

His waistline needs a long stay in ICE detention.

[quote]Dean fell under the spell of the cult leader, as so many others have. And now he does anything the MAGA cult leader says, without question.

Then he fully deserves his miserable life.

I’m still enjoying the title of this thread.

My daughter could eat him in three bites

Poor Dean Cain. Desperate times / desperate measures.

Dean never had much to measure…

What a washed-up cunt.

IyShhhh??

well you have to admire him for at least putting his hate to use.....he isn't lazy.....

Publicity stunt, he's not actually joining ICE or going on ICE raids, not with that fat ass, they made him an [bold]HONORARY ICE agent.

I am reminded of another corpulent performer. What else do they share besides their obvious love of fried foods?

(Open link for the Elvis DoJ badge and credentials.)

A disturbing part of his positions is that Cain was born Dean Tanaka and is not white.

In the past, he's also claimed to have had ancestors rounded up and put into the internment camps, yet is doing this?

Dean's mother is white. His biological father is Japanese. So, he's half white.

Yes, this has got to be an honorary ICE appointment. Likely just for publicity to help recruit much younger guys into ICE.

58-year-old, 250+ pound Dean Cain couldn't run after fleeing suspects. Would be out of breath after a few hundred feet.

I can't believe how fucking fat he got. He has nothing to do all day but work out.

His son looks totally white.

His bio father was a deadbeat whom he never met. Probably where his issues stem from.

HA! Dumb fucker left California and moved to Henderson, Nevada. Another stupid MAGA asshole that'll eventually hate living in Vegas (because LA was betterbut he'llnever admitit). And good luck selling your trashy mansion when the Trump Depression kicks in and housing prices plummet.