POLL: Handling Cubicle Workers Who Never Shut Up

I can send you a couple of pamphlets I developed over the years.

Get your boss to deliver a “no chatter” edict

I am currently doing consulting work and dealing with that problem at the office where it's hard to concentrate from all the chatting, often times loud. Headphones are the only good solution.

Atta girl!

R3 is correct. It's hard to believe even budget headphones playing white noise can't drown out their conversation. First step is to ask yourself: are the headphones actually working, but I'm just bothered by the idea of their talking? If so, that's an attitude of yours that needs adjusting. But if you can honestly say their talking is audible over the headphones, you need to take action.

The least disruptive solution is to request a move to a different area. If management can't accommodate that, then request that they counsel the talkers to behave more professionally. If they won't, or it's not effective, then warn them that you are going to have to deal with the problem yourself.

The last resort is to use your full bitch abilities to disrupt whatever conversation they're having. Give your opinion about every topic you're forced to listen to, and make it as scathingly critical as you can. Tell them their taste in entertainment is garbage, the restaurant they're raving about is for fat losers, and their children sound like they need to be tested for mental illness. By shitting on everything they're interested in, you suck the joy out of talking about it for them. You'll end up the least popular guy in your pod, but at least you could concentrate after.

Invest in electronic noise cancelling headphones. I have both AirPods Pro and Airpofs Max, but there are many options. Bose Quiet Comfort 15 are nice too. They are relatively pricey so if you’re a “five gals one straw” type you will balk at the price.

Invest in electronic noise cancelling headphones. I have both AirPods Pro and Airpofs Max, but there are many options. Bose Quiet Comfort 15 are nice too. They are relatively pricey so if you’re a “five straws one beer” type of gal you will balk at the price.

My brother-in-law hooked me up with some great noise-canceling headphones his employer makes. Otherwise I probably would have strangled my cube neighbor. Every thought that passed through her tiny brain had to be shared -- quite loudly -- with the whole floor.

We don’t even have cubicles anymore. We have open seating and nobody has an office. It’s not so bad except once in a while, somebody gets loud on a call.

And all the gossiping is in full view.

R9 How do you handle your farts?

What R7 said. $$$ noise-canceling headphones really do work well.

You could also drop anonymous printed-webpages where this topic is discussed. I did that once decades ago with a young intern (not my intern) from overseas who didn’t have a clue about American personal hygiene standards and stank like a homeless person. It worked halfway, which was better than it was.

A Fart Walk™, of course.

I do love that the slim consensus here seems to be that I should aim to suck a promotion out of some lucky manager's cock.

Don't ever change, DL!

[quote]I should aim to suck a promotion out of some lucky manager's cock

Pics please.

Well I was going to suggest you start belting out show tunes every time they start yapping.

Damn, I wish I'd thought of that ^ years ago.

MOVE is the only answer, request a cube move.

The chatter doesn’t bother me as much as those who conduct everything on speaker.

Yappers at the gym bug me too. I wear noise cancelling earphones. They're not the total solution but they help a bit.

Run them over in the parking lot. Make it look like an accident.

OP, stand your ground and be that person in the office that everybody walks on eggshells around.

It's one misery our Sunny V-B never had to endure. The lucky old crone!

Why is it that the talkers don't get a talking-to from management if they are THAT disruptive? Especially if they are basically wasting time and shooting the shit? How can they get away with it so much? Why should everyone have to accommodate them by putting on noise-canceling earphones?

The two-guys-standing-at-poolside-grill ad for Aldi meat has finally changed, but not by much. It's now two women and doesn't seem to be popping up every five minutes. Good LORD, that got old, fast!

Hell is other people.

R22 The worst is actually this old fool who takes all of his calls on speakerphone. He has his work calls, but he also has a side business with a second cell phone, and he takes those calls too. And because he's 71 with hearing aids, he has to use the speakerphone for all of it. They're not all business calls, either. He answers when a telemarketer calls, and actually talks to them about aluminum siding and Ginzu knives. He also makes his many medical appointments by phone, and those can get pretty gross. Old prick.

Everyone else uses a headset, or takes calls in another room, but Dad does it all right out in the open. I know more about his toenails and his finances than his own dead wife did, God rest her soul.

-R23- was supposed to go to the 'commercials you're hating right now' thread. Mil disculpas, hunties!

Looking for a friend, the receptionist said "He's in the last Cuticle on the right." "

R15 You can act like you're Ethel Merman....