Manners 2025

OP sounds bitter

No. I plot revenge.

I'm sure OP is bitter -and justifiably so. I was raised to hold a door for strangers, and to thank anyone who did so for me. The other day I held the door for a woman and her young daughter. Both thanked me politely. That was so unexpected that the people with me all commented on it. Sadly, the norm is that people just expect things to be done for them, and don't bother to say thanks.

I definitely give a side eye with a “you’re welcome”

I would hold a door as a pass-off to someone else, but not hold it entirely for them to walk through, unless they were elderly or handicapped.

[quote] do you mutter to yourself or shout out, “You’re welcome!!!!”

Trip them!

If someone opens the door for me when I’m too far away, I just stop walking and stare at them like I want to fight.

No, Canadians would never do such a thing.

I only hold the door open for my fellow seniors. Everyone else is on their own.

A guy opened the door for me yesterday (I’m a woman) and I thanked him and called him a gentleman. He said he recently open a door for a woman and she scowled at him and said she could open her own doors. But he said he was raised to open doors for ladies and he was going to continue to do so.

I hate being left thankless; but ultimately I figure it's on their karma, not mine.

[quote]she scowled at him and said she could open her own doors

I would have then suggested she could also go fuck herself, the miserable cunt.

I do say "you're welcome" loudly.

"He said he recently open a door for a woman and she scowled at him and said she could open her own doors"

Doubt that happened

I always thank people who hold the door for me and I’m pretty much always thanked when I hold the door.

Oh shit good manners!

If they're more than 5 seconds behind me, I let it slam in their face.

"I shouldn't have to TELL them to say 'Thank you, sir.'"

I do trip them, and then say, "Sorry, cunt!"

We have lost our public manners.

R13 I had to run away for spitting on someone like you because he said he’s call the cops. You’re a fucking dork bitch. I hope you get knocked out for that pussy hall monitor shit. Momma’s boy. Probably write a check in cursive for your scratch tickets. Fuck you.

If they say nothing, I sarcastically clap at them.

You’d never have the guts to say that shit in a po neighborhood you dork pussy lmao

R14. I believe it. I saw a young woman struggling to get her cart through the door in my laundry room so I walked over and held it open for her. Her response? I've been opening doors on my own for 30 years but thanks, I guess.

I don’t do it because of age or gender or ability. I just do it as it’s nice to do.

R24 You should've said "Oh, I'd have guessed at least 40."

r7 = r21 = r23

Seek help

For R21

R24, a good response might have been “and I see you still haven’t mastered it.”

"Oh, I thought you might need some help. But now I know you're a bitch."

A young college age guy held the door open for me. I said thank you but he seemed annoyed. I think some men are raised to do it and resent that fact, like they really don't want to do it, but it's been ingrained in them.

R31 - The etiquette for holding bathroom stall doors open is somewhat different.

No, I never shout out, “You’re welcome!"

I held the door because I decided it was the right thing for ME to do. It has nothing to do with expectations of what strangers walking through it should do. Anything else would be self-serving.

I'm not a high-falutin' person, but I tried to really examine my feelings.

Now, now, R33 we'll have none of your well-adjusted, even-keeled behavior here.

r33 Get over yourself

[quote]I'm not a high-falutin' person, but I tried to really examine my feelings.

r35 wouldn't hold open a door for a one-legged grandmother.

Jean and Harvey:

r37 Nah, my default is to always hold doors, etc. I just need to congratulate myself about it like poor r33

I often get thanked or a nod of the head. Any acknowledgement is fine.

I always hold doors open for women.

About 18 inches from the door frame, and when they try to go through I say, "Tight fit" and let it go.

Today I (a 34yo male) was coming out of the grrocery store with two bags in hand, I see a young woman (guessing mid 20's) looking at her phone texting and walking directly towards me. I stopped walking and she continued to walk and text and walked right into me. I said "Excuse you!" and she looked up and screamed at me "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BOOMER, GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY" and kept on walking into the store. I honestly just dont understand one, what people are SO angry about all the time and two, how people think it is acceptable to scream at people for no reason at all, or when they caused the issue in the first place. It's very sad really.

Syntax is not your enemy, R42

r42 It's fun to make up stories, isn't it?

What does mid 20 possess?

I held the big, heavy doors at my old gym to allow two women to walk through. Turns out they were Nicole Kidman and her friend.

Not so much as a nod. Total entitlement.

Well girls, my face still moves and I know at least one of yours doesn’t!

I hold the door for anyone who might be coming closely behind me. I think in 60 years not more than once or twice has anyone indicated any small distress at my doing.

I have had a handful of people take advantage and push past brusquely as if they were Jennifer Lopez, nasty enough that I said something. Normally, though, I just chalk it up to self-absorption/inattention, whether of the moment or permanent. All of us are guilty sometimes of walking about in a cloud.

I slap their faces viciously and accuse them of transphobia and being a fat whore!

The only times women complained to me was back in the 1970s. I was a teenager. It happened a handful of times. Feminism was still finding its way so no big deal.

If they're moving too slow, holler out "What is this, a fucking cattle drive?" and slam the door in their face.

Gen Z will think you're coming on to them.

Patti @R20, my siblings and I were reared so strictly we had to say "He lost his manners" for "Mom! Junior FARTED!"

We couldn't even say "he passed gas."

So we'd have thought something VERY different if we'd heard "We've lost our public manners."

R33, of course your principle is simply that you choose to apply the conventional rules of etiquette, which state that rudeness is not met with rudeness.

We're just joshing.

Because we're, you know, cunts.

I also get miffed when I let someone in while driving and I don't get the 'thank you' wave. it's such an easy thing to do when someone has shown you a kindness. I try to reassure myself that it's good karma regardless.

I'll say thank you now so I won't have to say it later.

When I do something for someone else, I don't expect any type of reward, even a thank you, if I get one that is great, but life is better not expecting one.

[quote]I also get miffed when I let someone in while driving and I don't get the 'thank you' wave. it's such an easy thing to do when someone has shown you a kindness. I try to reassure myself that it's good karma regardless.

I know what you mean, and the vast majority of times it's a woman driver who does not acknowledge, nor do they stop to let you in, but will block the way and stare directly forward. The rant sounds sexist, but it's very true.

If somebody hold a door for me, I say thank you in a clear voice. No mumbles.

It seems holding doors for people without receiving acknowledgment is a tender subject here (I feel the same way, TBH).

What about when you're trying to have a conversation with someone and they're on the phone and failing miserably at both conversations. Or, when you're on the phone with someone and they're clearly having a side conversation with someone next to them.

Newslash, none of you are that important that you can't hang up the phone and speak to one person only.

A whole slew of bad driver complaints, but that would take forever to list.

R55 = Nan Michiganwomyn

[quote] You’d never have the guts to say that shit in a po neighborhood you dork pussy lmao

Mafuckin!

I've always held doors for any people close behind me, but until very recently I never knew the point of etiquette of letting a lady off an elevator first.

Unlike holding a door, which speeds things up, that seems very cumbersome and I can't recall seeing it done. But maybe I'm too impolite to notice.

Speaking of elevator etiquette, WTF is with the people standing directly in front of the doors to get on, blocking the people in the elevator from getting out? It drives me nuts. I loudly say excuse me and push my way through. Sometimes they'll get on before I can leave the elevator car. Is this a modern anxiety thing? I don't remember people behaving this way 10+ years ago.

[quote] I also get miffed when I let someone in while driving and I don't get the 'thank you' wave. it's such an easy thing to do when someone has shown you a kindness. I try to reassure myself that it's good karma regardless.

I’ll generally do the thank you wave, but not always and I think it’s very unreasonable to expect it. If traffic is heavy enough that you have to let someone in and they have just switched lanes then it’s reasonable for them to want to keep their hands on the wheel and their eyes in the road.

Oh SHIT, manners!

[quote] or shout out, “You’re welcome!!!!”

If I did that, then [italic]I[/italic] would show I had no manners.

Other people's rudeness does not give you the excuse to be even ruder.

Why doesn’t anyone say, “thank you sir may I have another?” anymore?

I'm now 50 (but in typical DL fashion I look 30!), and a few years ago I got on the subway. The car was full and I was only going a couple stops so didn't mind standing. Imagine my horror when a young man, probably early 20's, got up and OFFERED ME HIS SEAT! I was mortified. But I was impressed with his manners.

Who are you kidding R68? You are ELDERLY.

[quote] but until very recently I never knew the point of etiquette of letting a lady off an elevator first.

It’s a Southern thing in my experience. I’ve not seen it done anywhere else other than the Southern United States.

Speaking of rude, hearing "No Problem" after saying "Thank you." And don't tell me about what it means in Spanish or French, we're not in those countries.

[quote]It’s a Southern thing in my experience. I’ve not seen it done anywhere else other than the Southern United States.

I've always done it, particularly on hotel elevators. You stand by the buttons and place your hand over the sliding door until women and older folks have gotten off.

R65 ≠ R16

I don't know if it's true, but I was always told that a gentleman enters an elevator first just in case the is a problem and the car starts to freefall. He lets the lady out first because, in general, you let ladies go first.

With an up escalator, a gentleman is supposed to precede the lady, to avoid the chance that as she goes above him he could see up her dress (or glimpse an ankle). Likewise, he precedes her on a down escalator so as not to be staring down her cleavage.

As a gay gentlemen, I always let cute guy go in front of me on escalators so I can stare at their ass.

Scouts Dishonor.

Kevin Bacon's manners are impeccable.

(I think this scene is so fucking hot!)

The elevator thing is stupid. If you’re in front, get off first. All the shuffling to try and let women off first wastes time. And that type of “chivalry” went out in the early 60s. Equality.

When I get in the elevator and I see someone coming i

frantically press the door to close it so they can’t get on

I can’t help myself