Man Is Harassed in High School for Being Gay; 20 Years Later, He Has a Shocking Interaction with His Bully

What's "Polly Pockets", precious? What's "Polly Pockets"?

I guess I'll never know the shocking interaction since the idiot OP posted a link to Apple News.

R2, here's the direct link to the People story.

I appreciate the photos of a young Elizabeth Warren.

So the bully only got it once HIS kid came out. Typical Republican type-they lack empathy and could give a shit until it finally happens to THEM!

Oh well, it had a nice ending for the Sandy Duncan lookalike.

I've seen Misha's Insta posts including this one, and there was nothing "shocking" about the interaction. The man's son came out to him activating his memories of bullying Misha in high school; he felt the guilt and reached out for absolution. Misha was graciously granted it noting the man's catharsis. Big whoop.

I don't know why we think so highly of bullies who suffer guilt for their youthful actions reaching out with apologies. The damage was done, the victim obviously moved on, and the guilt that bullies feel is good because they should suffer the greatest torment possible for their actions. If one of the bullies from my past reached out, I would tell them to fuck off, or if it was one specific bully, I'd repeat one of the things he said to me so many times: go kill yourself.

I don’t forgive bullies that made my life hell and caused lifelong health issues due to trauma. I would reply, “This is what you deserved you piece of shit cunt.”

Why did he choose those horrendous frames? He looks like he's trying to look whimsical circa 2017.

Typical.

It's only after something affects them personally that some people ever develop empathy. But, it's not really empathy, is it? Like former senator Rob Portman who actively pushed anti-gay legislation, this guy only cared after his own son came out as gay.

This isn't actually either guilt or true contrition. It's just another disguised version of selfishness masquerading as self-introspection.

Yeah I wouldn’t forgive them either. They can go fuck themselves. I resent people reaching out for their selfish need to be forgiven.

For the bully, this was about himself. Not the guy he bullied. A bunch of ego wank. I'm not moved by this.

If my HS bully called me I'd delete the voicemail without listening to it and block his number.

Sorry, R2. And thank you, R3.

Obsessed with singing Whitney Houston songs and playing Polly Pockets, he was often bullied

Holy crap I would have bullied him and I'm a bigger fag than he is.

Good for the former bully for coming around.

If anyone here is a Somebody, Somewhere fan then you know there's a beautiful scene with Emmy nominee Jeff Hiller receiving an apology from his high school bully. You can see the painful memories and embarrassment on Hillers face and he deserves an Emmy just for that. And now I'm going to MARY! myself. Thank you.

Interesting responses. I haven't given a thought to those who bullied me in years. If one of them called, I'd say, OK, thanks, whatever. I guess we all process trauma differently, but I'd be more weirded out by it than anything else as I don't hold on to bitterness like that.

I'd happily accept a call from my high school bullies to apologize because they're likely poor and I'm a millionaire.

It would've been more fun if he'd run across the bully on Grindr.

I'm happy that 15 yo boy will have a less homophobic father but he still has a STUPID TWAT FATHER WITH ZERO INTEGRITY AND VERY LOW MORALITY. I have very low indulgence for these cunts who can't consider much beyond their navel and own little world.

I had an ex reach out to me years after I last saw him to apologize for his behaviour and tell me he genuinely did love me when we were together even though he was an asshole. That was nice but someone who was an asshole to me in school wouldn’t have the same effect. It wasn’t somebody I was ever personally connected with

I AGREE WITH ALL DATALOUNGERS AND THIS BULLY MUST NEVER BE ALLOWED TO CHANGE AND ALSO DAVID BROCK MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO SWITCH SIDES AND CREATE MEDIAMATTERS TO SUPPORT DEMOCRATS!

I am glad the bully has changed, and I hope his son does not experience what he meted out to his high school classmate.

I'm 62. I can remember being bullied in school, because I was perceived to be gay. The worst was when I was a senior in college. Still closeted, I was in a crowded bar very popular with students and alumni. One guy turned around and accused me of touching him inappropriately. I hadn't and said so. He and his friend insisted I had and threatened me. If it came to blows, I could defend myself, but I was so rattled -- scared really -- that I hightailed it out of there.

I can still feel those nerves 40 years later.

R22 I was bullied to the extent Carrie White was in Carrie. I owe you nor anyone else any explanation.

r24, I didn't ask for an explanation and I don't care to receive one from a self-professed Victim4Life.

Misha jar jar binks.

[quote] I was bullied to the extent Carrie White was in Carrie.

They threw tampons at you in the gym showers?

R22 needs to visit his psychiatrist for a tuneup.

People are flawed. Sometimes it takes a personal connection to truly change someone’s mind and cause reflection. That’s more likely to be effective than sensitivity training.

Isn’t it a good thing this former bully no longer thinks the way he once did? Nothing will excuse his past behaviour but if it changes how he acts towards gay people going forward, that’s a positive shift.

I’m happy some people evolve and apologize.

You are, however, under no obligation to forgive

Yes but the soi-disant ex-bully mouths being proud of his gay son and proud of the man whom he bullied when they were teens. Proud? Pride usually comes from positive association with the achievement and this man had a very negative association with victim of his bullying. He's a stupid man who does't know how to define or express his own feelings.

A gay therapist once asked me to write a letter to a former childhood bully. It wasn’t necessarily meant to be sent to the bully. That bully lived a few houses away from me in my youth, so I was subjected to his abuse both in my neighborhood and at school.

In my letter, I told the bully that while he made my life miserable back then, I overcame the effects of his abuse and am a successful, out gay man. I also told him he no longer has any power over me. My therapist had tears in his eyes when I read him the letter.

I hope bullies change but when you do something wrong the most important thing is to feel remorse and change. Reaching out to somebody who is now an adult and has lived a whole life that you wronged seems weird unless you were really close. It also strikes me as attention seeking. We’ve all done things we regret and have hopefully changed.

I would ask the bully to detail what exactly he thought he did and how many times. Make him do the work in understanding the pervasiveness of the abuse.

I'm not going to just say 'oh that's OK - thanks for the apology' - no way. That's weak.

Many times it can't be undone - no apology will fix it. They're going to have to work off that karma themselves somehow by doing good things in proportion.

I would never advise anyone to forgive a bully or abuser.

I had a bully who made my life - as an adolescent gayling - absolutely awful, to the point that one summer I dreaded leaving the house.

I would wish death upon him every day. Elaborate, deranged scenarios. If I thought I could have murdered him and gotten away with it, I would have in a heartbeat, and then attended his funeral with a shameless grin. I hated him.

Many years later, my bully, as an adult, got cancer and died, leaving his kids without a father. I thought maybe I’d feel some measure of satisfaction on the part of the bullied, intimidated, endlessly harassed 13-year-old kid that I still carried around somewhere in my psyche, but I felt nothing. No joy, but no sorrow either. I discovered then that I’d moved on with my life. Part of me wished that I felt some sense of vindication or even victory on the part of my former self, but he had quietly turned into a cypher for me, which I suppose maybe is the best possible outcome.

I don’t believe in karma, at least not on this plane of existence, and I wince when someone expresses joy at another person’s illness or death, mostly because I’ve known very good and kind people who’ve met the same sad fate as my despised bully. But on some level, I do understand that past pain intentionally and even gleefully inflicted doesn’t ever fully heal, and I can’t really judge someone else’s Schadenfreude even though I find it distasteful and not in the interest of the person feeling it.

I think with the passing of the years and the changing of mores, I’ve come to better understand that we are all products of our time and culture, and that sometimes we need to grow beyond those constraints to better empathize with others and fully understand the ramifications of our actions. It sounds as if this bully from the OP did just that, and that is what makes me happier. We cannot change the past. But we can atone for it, or at least make the effort. But as someone stated upthread, no one is under obligation to forgive, even though I think that’s probably the best way to release or alleviate the lingering pain and resentment caused by willful cruelty so many years earlier.

I’m sorry this guy got bullied as a child, and I’m happy that the bully was able to recognize and accept and apologize for the damage that he’d done so many years ago.

It's interesting that bullies also know what they're doing is wrong. Like the bullied, bullies keep that with them their whole lives.

The very fact that this bully knew exactly whom he had to reach out to so many years later to apologize shows this

I play forgiveness by ear. I'll hold grudges but sometimes I'll suddenly forgive. They say forgiveness is easier and better for th victim but the hard Irish in my genes and upbringing encourages the grudge.

R36 - "bullies keep that with them their whole lives" - no they don't.

It's only when something happens to them personally that makes them reflect - most bullies don't think about it at all and think people are too sensitive and should let all of that go because they were younger.

My revenge on my HS bullies was to leave the place where I grew up, never thinking about them and forgetting their names. If they called me now to apologise I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea who they were. I’m sure they had their reasons for being teenaged assholes but I don’t need to hear it.

No real comment to make on the former bully except to say its good he's changed. And Misha is one hell of a class act the way he handled this

But damn Misha is HOT! Fuck he is gorgeous, sexy as hell