It will be like “Nine”, but with child prostitution.
Let’s write a musical about Ghislaine Maxwell!
by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 26, 2025 11:34 PM |
If there were so many child prostitutes, where are they now?
by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 25, 2025 8:57 PM |
Helen Lawson would kill for that part.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | July 25, 2025 8:59 PM |
🎶 Pardon me, Trump. Is that the Clinton-Epstein choo-choo? 🎶
by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 25, 2025 9:00 PM |
I'm the ballad Hillary Rodham Clinton has at the end of Act I
by Anonymous | reply 4 | July 25, 2025 9:07 PM |
Instead of GUIDO, it’s PEDO.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | July 25, 2025 9:15 PM |
Living in obscurity in their country of origin, r1. You think everyone gets a CNN interview the moment after they touch a billionaire's penis with their underage hand?
by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 25, 2025 9:19 PM |
The grooming song “It’s Just A Penis” was cut after previews.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 25, 2025 9:43 PM |
I'm the "friends in high places" number, sung as she frolics on QE2's throne in Buckingham Palace
by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 25, 2025 9:59 PM |
BTW her name rhymes with Glenn. Guh-Len.
Just saying.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 25, 2025 10:09 PM |
I’m the number “Life in the Ghislaine,” sung by 14-year-old stewardesses on the private jet.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 25, 2025 10:09 PM |
I loved the uproarious “E-P-S-T-E-I-N Island” and the wistful “Thank Heaven for Underage Girls”. Ghislaine brings a quiet storm intensity to “Let Me Touch Your Breasts” and “Traffic (Jellys &) Jam”.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | July 25, 2025 10:11 PM |
R4, try Melanua Trump instead
by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 25, 2025 10:13 PM |
All I can think of when I look at OP’s pic is a young Susan Collins.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 25, 2025 10:21 PM |
Sung to the tune of Pet Shop Boys “Opportunities”
I’ve got the goods.
You’ve got the fear.
Let’s make me a pardon
by Anonymous | reply 14 | July 25, 2025 10:21 PM |
Scene: A boat on the sea. A mournful Ghislaine peers over the rail into the inky deep.
Cue: “Papa, Can You Hear Me?”
by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 25, 2025 10:25 PM |
I'm the "suicide" scene with background music from Puccini's Madame Butterfly
by Anonymous | reply 16 | July 25, 2025 10:31 PM |
She Devil.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | July 25, 2025 10:38 PM |
I’m the dream sequence featuring the Dancing Ghislaines. Turn KICK turn turn KICK!
by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 26, 2025 12:48 AM |
Beanie Feldstein IS Ghislaine Maxwell!
by Anonymous | reply 19 | July 26, 2025 1:04 AM |
ACT ONE
LIGHTS UP on a stage with enormous Shepard Fairey-style portraits of Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Alan Dershowitz, and other men from the Epstein files. ENERGETIC young PAs run around, tapping on Blackberrys and Palm Pilots, speaking into headsets.
"CALL JIZZ"
[italic]Call JIZZ!
Call JIZZ!
If you feel the need to cheat,
With a girl who’s oh so sweet
She’ll always be discreet!
That’s our JIZZ!
“You want a girl with a shaven cat?”
“Need some puss in nothing flat?”
“Redhead? Fourteen? We can do that!”
Leave it to Jizz …
Whether your needs are sweet or vile
A girl with style and a beaming smile
Just come to Jizz and Jeff’s own isle!
That’s how it is …
If you need a girl to romanticize,
If you need a girl to eroticize,
A girl with round or slanty eyes:
She’s got ‘em all! It’s no surprise …
CALL JIZZ![/italic]
by Anonymous | reply 20 | July 26, 2025 1:07 AM |
I'll never understand this woman. Rich beyond most people's dreams...had the freedom to do whatever she wanted...travel the world...have as much pussy and dick as she wanted of all ages...and she hooks her wagon to this asshole and rides it right into jail......
by Anonymous | reply 21 | July 26, 2025 1:34 AM |
R21 She inherited her evil spirit from her father, who stole pensions from the employees at Mirror Group before “disappearing”. These people are cretins of dubious means.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 26, 2025 1:53 AM |
Jamie Lee Curtis has cleared her schedule so she can star !
by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 26, 2025 2:11 AM |
She'll have to fight Meryl Streep for it.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 26, 2025 2:14 AM |
Inspired! And Epstein can appear as a ghost, just like Hamlet's father:
"But virtue, as it never will be moved,
Though lewdness court it in a shape of heaven,
So, lust, though to a radiant angel linked,
Will sate itself in a celestial bed
And prey on garbage."
by Anonymous | reply 25 | July 26, 2025 2:44 AM |
I'm Viola and I will bring life to the role of Ghislaine!
by Anonymous | reply 26 | July 26, 2025 2:53 AM |
I’m the character of Mike Jeffries, bringing the Abercrombie playlists.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | July 26, 2025 3:07 AM |
I'm Bill Barr, suiciding Epstein in the second act.
But who will play him? John Goodman and Jonah Hill are too skinny now. Armie in a fat suit?
by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 26, 2025 3:12 AM |
I’m the shed called Tuckedaway which appears 15 minutes before the dancing cop scene.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | July 26, 2025 3:15 AM |
I am the climax as she walks out of prison after the pardon with “I’m Free” by The Who playing over the credits.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | July 26, 2025 3:26 AM |
How do you pronounce her name: 1) Gill-un; 2) ghee-LANE; 3) GHEE-lin; 4) gill-ANN
by Anonymous | reply 31 | July 26, 2025 3:28 AM |
Island In The Jet Stream, a duet with Ghislaine and Jeffrey
by Anonymous | reply 32 | July 26, 2025 3:44 AM |
It’s Guh-Len. Rhymes with Glenn. That’s how the people most familiar with the case pronounce it.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | July 26, 2025 4:00 AM |
I say Jizz-laine.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | July 26, 2025 4:02 AM |
Im the finale where I belt the showstopper "I lied and Im free" while a line of MAGA hat wearing chorus boys are high kicking behind me.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | July 26, 2025 4:06 AM |
Jeff Epstein is not my lover
He’s just a creep who claims that I am the one (oh baby)
But those girls are not my fun (hoo)
He says I am the one (oh, baby)
But those girls are not my fun (hee-hee-hee, no-no, hee-hee-hee, hoo)
by Anonymous | reply 36 | July 26, 2025 4:10 AM |
I say Ghee-len. It's a French name.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | July 26, 2025 4:52 AM |
🎵 that’s just way it is somethings will need change 🎵 “ain’t that right Jeff HAHAHAHA”
by Anonymous | reply 38 | July 26, 2025 5:36 AM |
Never*
by Anonymous | reply 39 | July 26, 2025 5:37 AM |
“Picture Ghislaine Maxwell at a Whigfield concert mentoring girls”
by Anonymous | reply 40 | July 26, 2025 5:40 AM |
As Ghislaine tries to convince the underaged girls to come join the fun with her man Jeffrey, Ghislaine breaks into "Some People" from "Gypsy:"
"Some people can be content
Playing bingo and paying rent
That's peachy for some people
For some hum-drum people to be
But some people ain't me...or you!"
by Anonymous | reply 41 | July 26, 2025 5:45 AM |
I'm the theatre manager putting up notices to tell the uncultured MAGA audience how to behave.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | July 26, 2025 5:56 AM |
I'm the child prostitute chorus line singing "Hey, Big Spender"
by Anonymous | reply 43 | July 26, 2025 6:24 AM |
🎵 She only drinks coffee at midnight 🎵
by Anonymous | reply 44 | July 26, 2025 6:37 AM |
All That Jizz
by Anonymous | reply 45 | July 26, 2025 6:41 AM |
Did she ever invite Max Martin to do music? How crazy was this shit?
by Anonymous | reply 46 | July 26, 2025 7:51 AM |
Patti Lu Pone to play Ghislane!
by Anonymous | reply 47 | July 26, 2025 12:37 PM |
"Daddy's On The Plane! Oh No!"
by Anonymous | reply 48 | July 26, 2025 12:44 PM |
I'm George Santos, and dammit ! There better be a part for me in this musical and I'm going to play myself !
by Anonymous | reply 49 | July 26, 2025 1:12 PM |
My case: Chris Hayes pronounced it “Ji-Laine” (as one typically would) until he had two experts on the case and they both said “Guh-Len” and now he does, too. Chris is the type to ask and correct himself so he can feel superior in being correct.
Absolutely no basis for pronouncing the “s” . Sorry Jizz pun authors. .
by Anonymous | reply 50 | July 26, 2025 1:13 PM |
I'm Liza Minnelli
by Anonymous | reply 51 | July 26, 2025 3:06 PM |
C'mon, Jeff, why don't we pimp some teens
And all that Ghis (and all that Ghis)
Young is good, we'll even get some tweens
And all that Ghis (and all that Ghis)
C'mon, Jeff, I know a whoopee isle
Safe from Interpol or ever goin' to trial
It's just a private spot where we can hatch our plot
And all. That. GHIIIIIS.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 26, 2025 11:34 PM |