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Let’s write a musical about Ghislaine Maxwell!

It will be like “Nine”, but with child prostitution.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 52July 26, 2025 11:34 PM

If there were so many child prostitutes, where are they now?

by Anonymousreply 1July 25, 2025 8:57 PM

Helen Lawson would kill for that part.

by Anonymousreply 2July 25, 2025 8:59 PM

🎶 Pardon me, Trump. Is that the Clinton-Epstein choo-choo? 🎶

by Anonymousreply 3July 25, 2025 9:00 PM

I'm the ballad Hillary Rodham Clinton has at the end of Act I

by Anonymousreply 4July 25, 2025 9:07 PM

Instead of GUIDO, it’s PEDO.

by Anonymousreply 5July 25, 2025 9:15 PM

Living in obscurity in their country of origin, r1. You think everyone gets a CNN interview the moment after they touch a billionaire's penis with their underage hand?

by Anonymousreply 6July 25, 2025 9:19 PM

The grooming song “It’s Just A Penis” was cut after previews.

by Anonymousreply 7July 25, 2025 9:43 PM

I'm the "friends in high places" number, sung as she frolics on QE2's throne in Buckingham Palace

by Anonymousreply 8July 25, 2025 9:59 PM

BTW her name rhymes with Glenn. Guh-Len.

Just saying.

by Anonymousreply 9July 25, 2025 10:09 PM

I’m the number “Life in the Ghislaine,” sung by 14-year-old stewardesses on the private jet.

by Anonymousreply 10July 25, 2025 10:09 PM

I loved the uproarious “E-P-S-T-E-I-N Island” and the wistful “Thank Heaven for Underage Girls”. Ghislaine brings a quiet storm intensity to “Let Me Touch Your Breasts” and “Traffic (Jellys &) Jam”.

by Anonymousreply 11July 25, 2025 10:11 PM

R4, try Melanua Trump instead

by Anonymousreply 12July 25, 2025 10:13 PM

All I can think of when I look at OP’s pic is a young Susan Collins.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 13July 25, 2025 10:21 PM

Sung to the tune of Pet Shop Boys “Opportunities”

I’ve got the goods.

You’ve got the fear.

Let’s make me a pardon

by Anonymousreply 14July 25, 2025 10:21 PM

Scene: A boat on the sea. A mournful Ghislaine peers over the rail into the inky deep.

Cue: “Papa, Can You Hear Me?”

by Anonymousreply 15July 25, 2025 10:25 PM

I'm the "suicide" scene with background music from Puccini's Madame Butterfly

by Anonymousreply 16July 25, 2025 10:31 PM

She Devil.

by Anonymousreply 17July 25, 2025 10:38 PM

I’m the dream sequence featuring the Dancing Ghislaines. Turn KICK turn turn KICK!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 18July 26, 2025 12:48 AM

Beanie Feldstein IS Ghislaine Maxwell!

by Anonymousreply 19July 26, 2025 1:04 AM

ACT ONE

LIGHTS UP on a stage with enormous Shepard Fairey-style portraits of Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Alan Dershowitz, and other men from the Epstein files. ENERGETIC young PAs run around, tapping on Blackberrys and Palm Pilots, speaking into headsets.

"CALL JIZZ"

[italic]Call JIZZ!

Call JIZZ!

If you feel the need to cheat,

With a girl who’s oh so sweet

She’ll always be discreet!

That’s our JIZZ!

“You want a girl with a shaven cat?”

“Need some puss in nothing flat?”

“Redhead? Fourteen? We can do that!”

Leave it to Jizz …

Whether your needs are sweet or vile

A girl with style and a beaming smile

Just come to Jizz and Jeff’s own isle!

That’s how it is …

If you need a girl to romanticize,

If you need a girl to eroticize,

A girl with round or slanty eyes:

She’s got ‘em all! It’s no surprise …

CALL JIZZ![/italic]

by Anonymousreply 20July 26, 2025 1:07 AM

I'll never understand this woman. Rich beyond most people's dreams...had the freedom to do whatever she wanted...travel the world...have as much pussy and dick as she wanted of all ages...and she hooks her wagon to this asshole and rides it right into jail......

by Anonymousreply 21July 26, 2025 1:34 AM

R21 She inherited her evil spirit from her father, who stole pensions from the employees at Mirror Group before “disappearing”. These people are cretins of dubious means.

by Anonymousreply 22July 26, 2025 1:53 AM

Jamie Lee Curtis has cleared her schedule so she can star !

by Anonymousreply 23July 26, 2025 2:11 AM

She'll have to fight Meryl Streep for it.

by Anonymousreply 24July 26, 2025 2:14 AM

Inspired! And Epstein can appear as a ghost, just like Hamlet's father:

"But virtue, as it never will be moved,

Though lewdness court it in a shape of heaven,

So, lust, though to a radiant angel linked,

Will sate itself in a celestial bed

And prey on garbage."

by Anonymousreply 25July 26, 2025 2:44 AM

I'm Viola and I will bring life to the role of Ghislaine!

by Anonymousreply 26July 26, 2025 2:53 AM

I’m the character of Mike Jeffries, bringing the Abercrombie playlists.

by Anonymousreply 27July 26, 2025 3:07 AM

I'm Bill Barr, suiciding Epstein in the second act.

But who will play him? John Goodman and Jonah Hill are too skinny now. Armie in a fat suit?

by Anonymousreply 28July 26, 2025 3:12 AM

I’m the shed called Tuckedaway which appears 15 minutes before the dancing cop scene.

by Anonymousreply 29July 26, 2025 3:15 AM

I am the climax as she walks out of prison after the pardon with “I’m Free” by The Who playing over the credits.

by Anonymousreply 30July 26, 2025 3:26 AM

How do you pronounce her name: 1) Gill-un; 2) ghee-LANE; 3) GHEE-lin; 4) gill-ANN

by Anonymousreply 31July 26, 2025 3:28 AM

Island In The Jet Stream, a duet with Ghislaine and Jeffrey

by Anonymousreply 32July 26, 2025 3:44 AM

It’s Guh-Len. Rhymes with Glenn. That’s how the people most familiar with the case pronounce it.

by Anonymousreply 33July 26, 2025 4:00 AM

I say Jizz-laine.

by Anonymousreply 34July 26, 2025 4:02 AM

Im the finale where I belt the showstopper "I lied and Im free" while a line of MAGA hat wearing chorus boys are high kicking behind me.

by Anonymousreply 35July 26, 2025 4:06 AM

Jeff Epstein is not my lover

He’s just a creep who claims that I am the one (oh baby)

But those girls are not my fun (hoo)

He says I am the one (oh, baby)

But those girls are not my fun (hee-hee-hee, no-no, hee-hee-hee, hoo)

by Anonymousreply 36July 26, 2025 4:10 AM

I say Ghee-len. It's a French name.

by Anonymousreply 37July 26, 2025 4:52 AM

🎵 that’s just way it is somethings will need change 🎵 “ain’t that right Jeff HAHAHAHA”

by Anonymousreply 38July 26, 2025 5:36 AM

Never*

by Anonymousreply 39July 26, 2025 5:37 AM

“Picture Ghislaine Maxwell at a Whigfield concert mentoring girls”

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 40July 26, 2025 5:40 AM

As Ghislaine tries to convince the underaged girls to come join the fun with her man Jeffrey, Ghislaine breaks into "Some People" from "Gypsy:"

"Some people can be content

Playing bingo and paying rent

That's peachy for some people

For some hum-drum people to be

But some people ain't me...or you!"

by Anonymousreply 41July 26, 2025 5:45 AM

I'm the theatre manager putting up notices to tell the uncultured MAGA audience how to behave.

by Anonymousreply 42July 26, 2025 5:56 AM

I'm the child prostitute chorus line singing "Hey, Big Spender"

by Anonymousreply 43July 26, 2025 6:24 AM

🎵 She only drinks coffee at midnight 🎵

by Anonymousreply 44July 26, 2025 6:37 AM

All That Jizz

by Anonymousreply 45July 26, 2025 6:41 AM

Did she ever invite Max Martin to do music? How crazy was this shit?

by Anonymousreply 46July 26, 2025 7:51 AM

Patti Lu Pone to play Ghislane!

by Anonymousreply 47July 26, 2025 12:37 PM

"Daddy's On The Plane! Oh No!"

by Anonymousreply 48July 26, 2025 12:44 PM

I'm George Santos, and dammit ! There better be a part for me in this musical and I'm going to play myself !

by Anonymousreply 49July 26, 2025 1:12 PM

My case: Chris Hayes pronounced it “Ji-Laine” (as one typically would) until he had two experts on the case and they both said “Guh-Len” and now he does, too. Chris is the type to ask and correct himself so he can feel superior in being correct.

Absolutely no basis for pronouncing the “s” . Sorry Jizz pun authors. .

by Anonymousreply 50July 26, 2025 1:13 PM

I'm Liza Minnelli

by Anonymousreply 51July 26, 2025 3:06 PM

C'mon, Jeff, why don't we pimp some teens

And all that Ghis (and all that Ghis)

Young is good, we'll even get some tweens

And all that Ghis (and all that Ghis)

C'mon, Jeff, I know a whoopee isle

Safe from Interpol or ever goin' to trial

It's just a private spot where we can hatch our plot

And all. That. GHIIIIIS.

by Anonymousreply 52July 26, 2025 11:34 PM
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