Advice or maybe a little empathy please? I have this friend, who’s a friend of my friend

Start a telethon for the woe-be-gotten with similar problems such as yourself.

Having to go to a laundromat---the horror.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

OP, not your circus, not your monkeys.

It’s a very nice thought but this could go all sorts of wrong.

R2, it’s a very long way for those people and it costs a lot of cash.

Chances are, Friend #1 who has the years and years of history — and is quite adamant in saying Do Not Get Involved — has more background than is being shared with you.

Your heart is in the right place though. Maybe just them an anonymous $100 in the mail if you really can’t stop thinking about it.

Also age 12 is not a helpless “little kid”. I was a latchkey kid in the 80s and was helping with every stage of the laundry by age 10.

Thanks r6

$100 buys what? A washer is between 500 and 1000 bucks.

I don't remember why we didn't have a washing machine for some years. We had a seven-room house. Not rich, not poor. My mom used to take me to the laundry, then take the laundry home and put it on the line (when the weather was good). So it doesn't seem like a big tragedy to me not to have a washer. But it seems extreme to buy people a washing machine that aren't even close friends of yours.

Be my friend OP and send me 1000 bucks. I really need something.

Don’t get involved OP. Every time I’ve tried to help anyone, it has blown up in my face. No good deed goes unpunished.

[quote]Chances are, Friend #1 who has the years and years of history — and is quite adamant in saying Do Not Get Involved — has more background than is being shared with you.

This is 100% correct. Do not get involved in that way. But you could do a little something to help. Give them a few gift cards for a grocery store or nearby restaurants. Tell them you received them as gifts (lie) and won't be using them.

Or take the father aside and offer him $50 each time he blows you.

OP, just text #2 privately, telling her the truth: They've been on your mind. It’s a pain in the ass to go to the laundromat, especially in the summer. You don't want to offend them, but you’d be happy to help by providing a Home Depot gift card to buy a washer of their choice. If they'd prefer to handle it themselves, you understand. Also, fuck your cold-hearted friend.

A friend of mine had their washing machine die over 10 years ago. We live near each other and I’ve offered to let them use mine but they won’t. Instead they go to a laundromat. Which is their choice of course but guess who they ask to take them to the laundromat when they have car trouble.

Your heart is in the right place. But people can be weird about laundry and money. Put the two together and you might regret it.

One of the problems with gifts/money between friends or acquaintances is that the person who gives wants something in return. Not anything tangible, but the time seems to come when the giver says to himself, "I gave them a washing machine and they didn't even return my phone call/send me a Christmas card/let me use their pass to the beach" whatever it is.

I have a friend who "generously" gives you things you don't really need and/or didn't ask for--an old computer she doesn't need, an old phone, etc. In weak moments I've said yes to these "gifts." The problem is, she doesn't really give them or let go of them. She wants to know if you're using them, how often you're using them, and if she's not satisfied, she'll ask for the gift back, because she knows someone else who needs it.

I really don't think you want to give someone a gift of anything as big and expensive as a new washing machine, when you aren't even close to these people. As other people have said, it will come back and bite you in the ass in unexpected ways.

Empathy for whom, OP?

My grandparents had a summer cabin with no washing machine. We used to go into town once a week to the laundrymat and made an afternoon of it. I'd get comic books and an ice cream. Maybe the family is enjoying it.

By all means don't listen to friend #1, who is not nearly as empathetic and caring as you are, and interfere!

Given that friend #1's advice not to interfere couldn't possibly stem from knowing the family in question better than you do, and how they might react to unasked for charity, please assume he/she is just being a cunt.

I suggest you start a GoFundMe page, but you will need to make the situation considerably more dire. A family of three able-bodied people with a broken washing machine isn't going to generate a lot of sympathy these days, we're in the iron age buddy. Give the husband a motor neuron disease and the wife diabetes. The kid maybe has to ride his bike 3 miles to the 'laundry-mat' as you put it, with the basket of filthy clothes on the handlebars. That should show friend #1 a thing or two.

Did this toopic not get any traction on Reddit?

There are cheap or even free washing machines and/or dryers on Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace all the time. Tell them to check it out. That way you're helpful and staying out of it at the same time.

OP, I don't have advice one way or the other, but congratulations on being a kind and generous person.

Buy the washer and send it anonymously. Life is too short to not do good deeds. I’ve done something similar in the past. Nothing adverse happened. You have a very generous heart, OP. Just make sure that number whatever isn’t a Trumper. If so, fuck ‘em.

Who the hell is #1 to tell you what to do? They are both your friends, and what the fuck biz is it of hers if you decide to do something for the other friend? Fuck her. And stop worrying about what the hell she thinks. You're your own damn person, she's not your goddamn mother.

That said, do you know how many WORKING washers and dryers I see advertised on Facebook Marketplace for FREE because people "got a new set"? Seriously, these are working appliances, and I know because I've been the beneficiary of one or two appliances that worked splendid and someone truly did get a new, better whatever.

Sorry for my split infinitive. I have a headache, which compromises my grammar. I’m “Oh, dear-ing” myself.

Is the husband of friend #2 hot? Maybe see how far he's willing to go for a new washer (blow job) and dryer (anal).

r23 Split infinitives are OK, and to be preferred when splitting clarifies the intent of the sentence.

Don't have a washer sent to them anonymously. It won't work. One of them would have to be home for it to be delivered and installed. Also, it might need preliminary plumbing work done before it's installed. The last washer I got, I had to get a plumber in first to install a new valve or something like that before they would install it.

Also, somebody sent me a huge appliance out of the blue I'd freak out. Too many scams out there. Your heart might be in the right place, but there are too many things that could go wrong.

Empathy. Paragraph breaks. Please.